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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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# K- K) e, D( @# z; X% X2 v1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
1 i, v9 v$ G* m' t: U2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 4 ] ] x5 |# Y" ?( j) D
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
9 f& W- [6 |2 K1 s5 N6 M4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA . {. k h; t6 u" ^; p# J
' ^( O: b' b8 t8 T( z1. Big rock between you and B.C.
0 T3 y# S6 p/ o7 r5 B2. Ottawa who?
# E5 Z0 X, w6 U* C2 b e5 R. O3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
; W- o4 Q& O: F4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
2 y Y, p/ Y: V5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
5 V2 h" W/ e1 G# m: K" M6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ( E/ u) Z& q1 Y7 \' o6 _7 P6 c( ?
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN " P+ v$ c# a+ l% o2 i! V
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1. You never run out of wheat. ' ~3 z& [& f4 d
2. Your province is really easy to draw. ! Z+ Q) A4 E) J) G" L0 S3 H
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. / u+ t% a! t" L
4. People will assume you live on a farm. [* V: e3 |9 T& ]
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA ( M) x+ O+ q5 Z' O
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
! l" w6 Z/ K3 g1 w! R" s/ i2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
0 x) C6 W) U& ?( b2 N6 h3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 3 u) P8 W) A2 Y s
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. ) I$ q3 ~. @' U. o; `8 }
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 0 p2 Y# Q" s, q& E
& }) S# C; M# W1. You live in the centre of the universe.
. g2 L2 \8 g$ A" j2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. - r/ V) z& M2 J! U, Y5 P( s
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. / Y9 u) s+ E3 }2 M5 f# Q7 [, n/ s
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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* P$ k6 ]& m, r4 N; C2 e3 ]; N1. Racism is socially acceptable 8 ~0 R7 y! _) ]0 ^3 \
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. % Q0 `/ t* P z$ K9 a
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
' @; a" b2 Z; _& N8 g' }+ S4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
0 F. q+ L- a6 e1 O4 B5 q, kTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ; V/ W' Z* Y, t' K% U
4 c* ]1 r: b/ ^TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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; C2 J; k) f6 r# N% W0 f2 l0 U: i% e3 ~1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. $ d. P0 V$ c( ~) p
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
; Q( g$ ?% T3 }/ O3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
% {# B+ h0 o- n( O! s9 o4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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; R2 C+ k' e. \# J8 E# @TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 8 _( ]8 ^8 J* y
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 1 Y& D; `; O+ M, q
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
! D& {: P5 e9 c9 t' }# D, d( g3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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" _8 h# M( ?0 {% M1 |3 T( B PTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 5 p' W7 X' `2 G* `0 Y
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
! Y2 h6 x+ a# T1 N& \2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
; p1 K4 Q5 s1 `' v/ Z: `7 m3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
; \# q; P* d- [4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
/ u( o7 z# e# Y1 E6 I! r5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 6 r4 K1 A) N; {
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 5 n4 U. ^/ [; I, I# x" N. ^3 M/ ^$ F1 i0 I
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+ h& o/ w7 i8 z. Z% B4 L! ~ q3 r# KTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND & t& D2 ~; N" j5 ?9 T# z' q5 Y- L: {. `
* ^7 F6 @ n# u) {4 I4 U1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ) C8 m/ o( s+ j3 ~: C3 s/ g
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
! \ D2 w9 k1 {9 h& g& e' s* I3. The workday is about two hours long. ) z8 ^" v3 G0 {# u& |1 U% I1 F
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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