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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA% W" E( F1 p' `1 X8 Q
- }2 W% C( m0 W1 V1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
: {1 b1 B- N" j$ F2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
2 S' V7 g1 L) j% x9 ^3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
" W7 H0 e+ s k1 g' ^3 v4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
+ b) a3 b$ `3 x5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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0 d' Y7 ^6 o: Q4 t' P, F+ w# R1. Big rock between you and B.C.
# _2 W9 ?) E- {: H( `+ A$ m2. Ottawa who?9 J. Q! S, n3 r7 u) _: O
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
- X* O" y7 f8 n f4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
& f' |0 n" w% M& F8 i9 i5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. ' T+ [4 I" g) u( A1 ?. v6 Y
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. / L6 J3 J- F* l4 Z) a
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" [# C, [; M0 A! w, HTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN % Y% z( q8 _ Z8 j
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1. You never run out of wheat.
( |* t3 C' j2 a2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3 F. B' G1 j/ R3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 1 W9 M8 a3 J; m2 @) V
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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8 \ _# y' o6 N8 L9 S3 E& DTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA . S% f4 O0 F+ Y& [! o4 t2 u, X+ R" }
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. + E; G, \% r/ _+ p" k, N* z4 X
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 3 T- L9 i2 X9 v( U+ q' l8 {1 E
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 2 b- p( P& `% t& _
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
7 s& |- C' j0 m' c6 g9 K1 O5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. - J' A; x# T: k3 H8 e. G7 N- Q6 ~
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* `4 H, W3 x2 T4 C8 k- B/ J8 GTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 8 O1 d- D! Z- d$ F( b& s3 i
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 9 P3 r) l: \ `7 l2 z, o3 ~8 Q
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
- a) M4 t& B5 U, Z; @4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 9 V8 i, z9 Q8 ?; b# \
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC : q- W. ]6 f4 B- [% J" o9 Y
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
( U6 Y0 ?* \& r6 g+ V, q2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 8 n" a2 J" m6 m6 e1 l
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. % e9 X# m/ x% V: W( C. I K
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
7 d; G i: y6 J+ rTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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9 O5 ?: q+ v) [ | b4 y' @1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 5 B& ~/ |) }0 I; S- N
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
! H5 T. [( U; f( a+ W3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
7 O7 w* V+ N# p$ y0 w+ h7 v4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. ; q* i- \: x4 ]# P
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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) k+ R6 @, J' t; n+ t9 L1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
* w- z" m3 _) U' V" {2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 9 o3 z5 o' b# T& {
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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( k( q8 R( q: k" P- I: OTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 9 y0 U& R0 e. O
- h* J+ X( m% y7 P& }- j ?' Y) j H1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
# V+ } b# ~% c' P. F. @2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
: w f' @# K( q- ]1 M! |3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. ) a1 K- T) C& ~6 Y M) j q, Y5 h
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 1 ?5 I- ~# t* X
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
3 q9 k2 h$ [0 B L8 H+ n! j6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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. i3 d) } D' f- {& _2 J; JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 4 M, Y' X _ [! {4 T
& l$ d2 X F1 c' r# w7 C; ^) b1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ! n0 l6 ]" P+ c$ U
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
$ U+ n6 L3 a7 Y9 L3. The workday is about two hours long.
7 o7 ~# D* ]: N: j9 I4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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