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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA7 R. Y% b5 S3 a d% L
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. , j0 F. O8 p. Z, F' M
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
& i% b3 l2 x \: F8 v- M. p) Y3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
1 ~1 L+ E' Z) N7 {/ ~ k/ V4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. + }( s) ?9 c1 ^( g' f
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 4 X3 \4 O7 v2 a7 Q7 W6 T3 X$ S
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
9 {) a. X2 U# x) k' l2. Ottawa who?+ V9 W( `5 T4 g% m. f" w
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
4 \, @6 [7 m- J' U; j [4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. + t% E: q4 S I4 D4 {
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
# f) q# {# C( I/ o" c1 T5 J% s+ i6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ) F6 z+ z/ H( n/ f- ?( u
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN * a8 T4 ~( I* R- T' [- d& u: B
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1. You never run out of wheat. $ i, ~; x `1 A6 r
2. Your province is really easy to draw. - v- j6 O' Q% \3 Y) j
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
2 I# J1 D/ Y8 @4. People will assume you live on a farm. 7 J+ D/ f. c' a0 ~6 D
/ @: F- C* o# ~& }6 RTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 0 e, C. ^/ Q5 C( B# |
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. ! T0 ^! L: T1 n3 O' D/ A S, P7 w
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. + J/ I$ ?( O( p
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
# H* R5 ~+ A7 Z# B4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 3 o5 i% }/ E3 u! @. [3 S* j0 R
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO / X: {8 i' X$ O9 l
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
7 _; H1 F6 T; q/ ]" j) v; R2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
9 ^0 c' p5 I2 u8 s7 G/ |3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
' b7 T5 @! ~8 p0 n0 V1 O) w1 \% [4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ; {5 r, v* `- u' V
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3 t2 q- h( L1 O0 mTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 2 A3 I+ T: x9 G! C- A: S" P( }9 I4 d
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 7 `+ ~- y! Y/ ?. R( k% K
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. . o# {* N* D2 }: q
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
+ i- k# N" e5 Z7 [! u4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *0 c$ M' T4 K" W! K9 |9 o
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK % E% S8 J" p9 ]: ?( m9 b5 l8 u
i& h1 N* ]3 p0 P. F1 L* FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK @3 c0 t& U- J3 ]7 X3 f7 C H5 |
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ! N3 l( t$ L/ _
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
; Q8 X( P3 L& f2 |) D" W) y3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
- U8 `- s( c5 P( |+ {3 K( s4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. $ O y, o6 g/ C- u1 q
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: s( n8 T" D" I' F% ]TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 0 {' j9 w/ z, s. r
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9 `5 \* d" O0 d1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
0 I# C' I. @3 H1 f/ P' `5 b/ i2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
6 Q) R, W3 l6 L; y* F3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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" f" o/ r8 N- R! ~6 N" N8 \1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
) A# ]7 ?& \) K" f# p2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. " m" r7 I4 C' m: u
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
" m5 b1 ^) o2 X0 U* j* P; C4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
, O% J( M. I8 O/ |5 f5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
0 U+ r! K5 {' L2 L+ |" p8 G6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 6 ?3 P. ]8 u( z
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
1 y( i9 X, Q, n, J H: b1 l3. The workday is about two hours long.
5 ?; o7 P1 w& u' Q" p9 W4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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