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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* E  H; B4 q6 P" U3 O3 r% s' F: x$ a
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5 z" b5 P% A4 N* L- C2 p; f 1. Bring your own house.) x% u' m* R- ~! N

; _; S/ Q+ q2 L8 ` 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 I4 x3 m- W* _9 a$ G+ G
hospital.( d' M' E& J4 ~  j% ]
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! [- l& y- U( J. f1 r$ P. p8 Y$ f7 hcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 a' D* \- a" o

1 Q( D0 n: `  \  J 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) M+ |3 y$ q! N9 B2 Q" acapital of Canada .8 H  m# n; H2 X

9 s* W9 C) I* ~4 S) m 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 O' m. _( K% e) y3 F7 a
$8.00/hour.+ R6 N! }( u5 |6 i5 F- m7 j
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; s; r+ e- H/ j5 k  V" S6 F 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) k" F! l, ?+ m& n* x
on a 15 year holiday ?5 B! Z; J; [9 \1 `8 \+ b
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 X4 T) l4 x9 d/ A& T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 {" U$ Z7 _) N+ o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* i, Y) G2 L( z# Y! @8 |+ phere sick.
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% J+ l3 V8 w) L- r  }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 u- u. {# I- V, C6 o) Cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 z  ]* e/ P; x6 D; R7 B; J/ Q
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# a" B4 W" n2 n# K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& Z2 x8 k% d9 K. k5 f" b

" ]( E2 ~) T/ [' D  y  w- \6 {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 f" Y' Y8 o/ O" H; E$ Q$ b3 v
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% q, z" H$ [1 [; T# Y9 l8 A" n
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest4 l/ k$ Z6 }% V' _8 U6 Y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: g7 X' X; d* \/ r1 ~% v' B- {go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( L& {- |6 D  p9 f3 Q! rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 `. Y2 X( B' \$ T1 N4 V7 X4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# a' ~+ |3 y7 H9 i3 M0 O8 x9 ^2 P
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 M  e: [0 L8 Y1 W0 @7 e1 p& a
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 A+ c  Y, X1 z: c; j/ Vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* v6 i+ |) f2 G1 w1 O$ p9 U; _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) u4 J; I/ Y5 \0 Z$ P$ o  |5 Cmore construction starts everyday.% `; i; I2 N7 f: ^% ^2 t+ P; ^

9 U2 s# V% ?& Q) P+ C4 T  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 h7 c# V/ Y* k5 r+ M" G" i/ `
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* D5 s9 |+ _' J5 n9 H6 Ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ p; I7 _- X, k& c# H6 `0 e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; {' w9 u& e' S8 o
the same road.
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. J( X+ @& N6 K3 k/ f+ x2 N) D9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 L7 m' E( j: N2 X0 T0 j3 sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
" C/ Y2 ?4 i8 Wactivated."
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, e+ }* o9 a3 V+ y! F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 I0 H; O  C+ H* @zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! `1 o& B+ O+ G/ p4 U$ |5 raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. s- R# m* T/ J$ n& ~2 q! t

, N5 w( r8 h" x4 n3 E+ f11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- P2 G2 V# w6 G9 I4 W% f
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, G6 @7 |* S8 g$ I
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: N7 b3 Y9 w' E: j) Hvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

% `; r7 R) g# K3 j有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. M. n: j; N0 \- ?$ |& I满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。9 O7 z7 v4 q9 r/ [0 u2 R8 g
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : $ B: U' W3 R$ Q0 B) @: t+ i
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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% R' |9 X/ c7 Y  F9 U% e% i[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 3 L' N! i1 v, c$ j3 t7 ^, N
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* Q! H' q/ v5 q1 C2 c- D满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 * n# z  P6 |& s' y

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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- Z) w, Y3 y1 D7 E这么刺痛你了吗?0 R- ^* J; ]8 {( J

& c  F+ d7 ~' j0 K3 c! k+ |我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 0 U* H3 X4 Q2 b, ]; }5 h( l5 T
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。% D! n4 t8 v- R: Y: E
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。5 D3 [! t& c1 b" E

& M: q4 ]& V# c& L5 j再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.3 p2 Z- w7 W  d1 v
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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