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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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" {' V/ X" h, O. m6 ~: B 1. Bring your own house.
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+ {' D u- Y( g4 C- z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
; b4 _6 f2 c: F: j7 i; ohospital.
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. i' l# y- |, \# a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ V3 L( G) S! a2 \; w8 h) F
capital of Canada .* Q* z6 H1 `& Q- s7 q* u- B
! t3 y5 ?$ ~, f1 ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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0 N& ]3 I; [9 Q/ @: Q* H$ H5 j& R- C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 x3 f( p F3 q9 L0 p6 pcapital of Canada .
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. e/ P3 B2 M: D0 s 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
' o( ]# o+ H( f6 C5 l$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. W! P) f; O$ b' ^ Z0 c$ W: Z
6 N1 F, ?% l8 b5 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* m4 I+ {) s; m+ [- O0 D8 v) \. O; I
on a 15 year holiday ?
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3 o0 B, F3 [; H0 ^4 q1 G 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 S& b2 p5 R$ P. Oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' i' S! _3 M6 H) u/ \% [here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; o; @& \" V) L! o( uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' T; P P7 q9 A' X THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 L# O' N& r6 ]3 O
" G+ {4 m+ ]6 y3 x! ?1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" G& E9 m4 H7 a' \# U7 l2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 _; e. s( N8 P! H/ e$ {) L% w' r$ Gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 t3 y/ ]0 t9 }, t7 V; g3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# B' d& u1 p) o. |7 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ @2 n% P9 F4 X2 g; G: pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
. u, E p: E( V: S ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 m8 w, ^( T9 a" t
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% Y! R. u" d! e; K# Y, s& ]
& W9 @9 n2 i: w5 P; j4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' N4 T& o% E5 X: L1 W
cussed out, and possibly shot.* A3 x4 \- c1 K0 l3 Q0 T
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& H1 v6 ]6 X% H. `0 y1 p. M) c1 Z9 Ican get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 w1 \/ r6 T; f: D0 Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ {: g r* V% P' P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& {. s6 }8 v) m9 gmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ S6 |* }4 S4 O/ u
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 q# Z+ g, E; J
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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& r- f0 T% |) }8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 {$ H4 l, A5 Q0 K- m1 a
the same road./ g) H8 `* I( i$ \+ V$ ~! q
" j3 M* T. u1 z6 L0 w% c9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 v* g5 L% F7 U7 k6 ^& o' Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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) `. z; H" w4 F9 P4 j" Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
`( F. c! E2 kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( C7 q1 x" v$ h: U$ s* j
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! G: I4 s6 t( F* h7 M8 t* k
4 }/ X, H3 t4 _+ v0 \+ v: Y1 N11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; N- p% o% i& x. ` k+ Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- a& X. |4 T Oblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 z0 v* [* F, q( }- ~ ?virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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