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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 \! M7 T; {- _1 L
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4 z$ q1 w$ T' Z; x1 ?3 j% A$ S4 T 1. Bring your own house.
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4 ?' W- R, ]4 ^4 x& l 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 ~. z+ {; x2 T
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. ^, d4 a, a; j& b
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# q1 O4 c% S3 e5 ?capital of Canada .
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6 q( q! K4 w) _ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 o6 Z9 z8 [" T$ \& D" @2 N
$8.00/hour.
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l% ~' K8 e1 c( e! [0 ~ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 t: Z: X+ Y9 M( {' r3 O. d, b
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 x; X& B: R+ y+ Z& k# G* E# `7 ?
on a 15 year holiday ?& e0 Z, ^* Q7 O0 E9 A- Z
1 ?" E' j3 R: G( J+ a" I 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, ]$ Y' R; F/ Zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ ?3 Q1 E: Z/ O! r) I8 W, Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' t( m' F& _& X4 V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" _# a2 ]* A+ n6 y1 X y
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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* S p$ K4 w; [. j& h2 ~, B3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: A7 y+ b/ {: l" g/ P s5 b0 W
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& D9 L2 l8 S' J5 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) t" f" {. H" i1 q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
3 [( A N* L7 _" I" A; Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% d9 l' k8 u7 G% g( v' T
6 F" X4 l# C/ ~6 x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* u3 F( |; m' n- D& C& H" @' ecussed out, and possibly shot.: ^/ G6 Q( W6 D9 T: x
) A/ A$ c! H) n7 i$ ]5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 v3 g% z0 K2 r( Wcan get you shot.
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7 B. s& T8 W! W* ~: b* ^6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 b) K/ ^2 w- y+ A! ]6 m% cbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 S# J2 F3 V: P* e8 h
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- Z* H7 y! T3 U/ [/ K0 E
more construction starts everyday.
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* |! B5 n% Y* a W8 F4 q; ] 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 l# O l, ]$ K9 H- @' B1 T, S
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- ^0 n7 R4 Z' w# K% \: J7 y5 ~
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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3 \$ k, c9 ?1 P! p8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( G( |0 H6 W( X; m0 p' i
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 s4 j+ h* t# K0 T" u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ @9 m/ l. Q; K3 _$ r) x& R1 m$ ^
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, M: y7 k* [3 n% e. B" F; u6 h# D10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 L: v% l( [- A( Tzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": O$ m2 f6 k. n5 ~( k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# g& Y4 E! O. q! O6 u: p' L8 a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
