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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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: W% B1 K3 }. [ }" D6 N; \* T 1. Bring your own house.9 i( a/ G0 k% y
# m( x; p7 v9 H$ A 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and W! g: [5 N+ ]( y2 F- H& L
hospital.0 n$ b* w) S4 N# P/ C. q
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 h0 E$ @( u/ k+ d/ b" N A
capital of Canada .4 c6 G; q( s! [' }6 A' t
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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- D7 x5 d1 o7 X6 H) r1 i: r. Z 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. J% S5 D! B) E
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 b T. k; E6 h/ u& A9 T
$8.00/hour., }9 U" i; Q! ~3 ^! \
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: J% M! o' k0 Z5 O
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 E7 D$ U1 l/ m6 B* H3 @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 r2 ]' P# j7 I" S) t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 l% X4 H) t9 y9 g, Fhere sick.$ A; n( o( L* Y& t6 y2 s3 D% R
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 h/ x1 O k; Z7 uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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f; b& H) q# K# P8 Q Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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, ^4 ]( p( v% \+ e4 z$ e1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". W8 N; {. R' t! \+ h" Z
6 u/ G& F) w7 Y- h ~6 _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour- H1 R' i% O% d
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& b; P) A! J& q0 Y; [
P/ I0 [8 R: J3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 Y: }0 @6 U2 s" [own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 J$ L# I/ K) [2 P- @muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: f s0 S4 ^2 \ L3 p
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: e2 O9 a- \6 Y7 s, O
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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- r0 I5 ~+ ?7 E; Y1 w D4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 k8 J; s* z$ _7 F1 T' C0 ~
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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* d8 `1 t( E2 L: k* y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
. v$ s2 C4 k: k# ^/ c |can get you shot.
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3 a' {4 O* Y: p- L2 H3 A2 A6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& Q- y, C- S/ r5 `* b6 Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 [3 e z6 O: {: \: C" Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& L* [; u+ A/ y
more construction starts everyday., L1 S3 x9 @0 }2 x, i2 A9 |$ @$ S
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
7 ~- D$ h/ |4 e$ N K0 n0 jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# y- e' d6 f. o& f; c4 hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., H0 I$ [" _2 \* V
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- ]9 F# `; O' c( x" qthe same road.5 m$ M5 S) |. ^9 f7 A
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: b7 \( P: Z4 [1 r6 i1 }6 ] Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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! W& B- c& H! R2 N% I- }! k10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 }- U5 _8 ?5 A- L! `, A v( ]! Vzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
: t% W" v% G; |4 e1 r* |5 T4 ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." c$ M* q1 X+ H0 x$ w) M
3 w* v3 }( {: J11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% Q G* H0 q6 ~/ t8 i; wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and j5 V1 K0 E+ y+ C8 i5 v/ E
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is4 N$ d1 f: x; e! g; `* I
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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