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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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$ [9 C4 P3 p1 J# s/ z 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ ]4 c, y8 ?6 j4 q7 I: I
hospital.
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9 @( y7 F: a8 ^ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- x `, S$ |! Z# Z. P( o8 a2 D `capital of Canada .5 D1 B5 @1 x! B8 o6 k, A
T) v" @! y3 G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 q+ C# @- o( B c
/ f" y! E8 f7 f5 q3 Q7 w3 ^ k 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; ]- n, `4 j8 l: j1 ncapital of Canada ." _9 s$ {+ V: r4 _5 n0 g% z
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- @+ M% c, |* B& J- h$ j+ D& s- b
$8.00/hour.9 _, a3 s* v% K4 S f' \; o& _
' e- q7 \( u% h! G 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 p$ E* i1 l, @ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) } I* c- r" c: m+ `
on a 15 year holiday ?) e& @) \* F& s; p& E
# [; g' f7 v+ s' l 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. R. l& X: h0 wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ V6 p% J2 g" V2 X0 l8 O
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 n+ Z6 k6 `( f% m
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.: O6 C, W( {0 v$ o* D6 u
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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4 @' B3 ~9 G% ?2 w# G, j( y) V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 J" ?: u/ h+ F$ P9 l3 S2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' ?- \- }( C v
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% U# }. d+ }2 I0 A
, F( K7 O; n6 ^3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% z/ ~ ?( b; n( H4 T) |- s& A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 o7 g' b2 u0 U, ?2 ]( U7 zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 _' B' R4 R7 S( a# G6 z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" m. X8 o# ^" T: h; ~: vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 a9 X! Y* t4 r5 e1 M/ i
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 i8 v2 P* q7 V1 t* Z! _4 `# ?cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& i# l5 }# w& X; pcan get you shot.7 |- q3 X- r+ Y
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: [ P) m& Z# P
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 k" V7 n. E" O7 q$ q7 Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 @9 m! J {3 u0 }
more construction starts everyday.
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x0 e5 Z: B! X. {! P5 s- U 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' r$ |: a+ ~2 {, a' L
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
. C+ t. K7 A3 C) f Nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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9 I( N, ^8 H, a$ Y2 Y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; c& a+ O1 l7 G* x1 _8 \2 K: ethe same road.
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4 n" M# ~$ [/ U: `; @1 N& B9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) E* C- A" ?, S+ N( _: ~8 Kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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% v8 e6 G* t2 ?5 g5 T. D6 [9 x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 P1 @" r6 _: s9 n. ~4 \% Y* q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& X8 B5 j" x& g# I) C! k4 ?accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* C5 Q5 N4 E" ~$ G( o( D7 ?1 O
: R$ k& E& p. t2 T |8 w. |" i11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( d1 W0 A0 Q) t% G& xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( j' z* S! w9 J( T; Q0 Rblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# z% B2 K! }! Dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
