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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% A+ X4 M/ n& m9 p& Y
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1. Bring your own house.7 ~; F0 B' ?; |$ y7 ~; q
$ N8 |' B+ Q' f: i1 w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 T9 Q8 X; @5 W- W: M- Z
hospital.! q/ g$ E# u. k" e
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# X' ]+ K3 y) ]7 q, {4 Y/ ycapital of Canada .: G9 ~# ?, V- P
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) `: ]5 d$ l. V6 N9 u3 g
5 v/ H3 d4 z& u \: a2 \: `* E 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: L" k9 w# F" g3 xcapital of Canada .
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5 t! n9 F P4 @/ R8 L* o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, _4 H! Y: d1 }% ~* A' v
$8.00/hour.
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! D+ \3 Q0 a6 s7 y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ z! |4 C# v0 y, v* m8 Y U
on a 15 year holiday ?4 \1 s% C% L- O ~( Z' k# w6 J2 l
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# i F1 h+ F6 N: [4 dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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$ F) C% l! l. E P {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
) |- E0 f/ r g4 O7 nhere sick.
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3 G. }) \" |9 j `11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, U0 T- K- @0 `: ]years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 T) b& W6 V4 _2 R4 u8 }/ R
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! }: l. [( ^! q% g2 R THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' g$ U8 _: V) [" L' }$ g4 }" s+ x1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 r* ^0 j) A; J' W, k( l- M2 T
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 \; Y. x0 E: r& Ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 ?& y! t0 {/ ?own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
l/ q" J/ `1 w; V: S- Mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, L! v3 R4 f# G2 Hgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! R8 J/ G! x9 N5 S' b9 P$ I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) r7 G g: T4 y0 u& Q/ Z5 _' o4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 L! C4 i2 u+ D7 J0 B/ i+ q7 qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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2 ^5 B- A6 ?& `5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( O$ a" Z7 J% C8 f% H/ ^& N+ Ucan get you shot.
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j- N# @- b5 k c; u6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: F; e |1 Z- }+ ]$ B
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 g# s1 W" _) A/ Y; v
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 v4 ?7 Q# R3 k7 t& [- x
more construction starts everyday.
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1 T6 e i& B& {! A 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
7 ?- j8 u# L4 l, A w% Qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ Y/ S& s. l2 e* A+ T7 l) ` Rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
" f+ V+ D1 |1 l- w8 H- Z9 Bthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ P+ F7 F1 z/ t$ Y
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally% y/ m) n$ [7 D: g( S' s/ D2 p
activated."' N2 e( i" o- @# P5 w
% I8 z5 s/ q% ]10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 c6 M$ I" m9 z: {4 t' N4 }0 X/ qzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 i0 H* T- z6 X- B3 K
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 \" w& S s4 h+ D! m
" |# `5 R7 P4 ]1 C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 p4 \, k, B7 J
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
. R: F4 E. X+ Yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 K( h1 V6 D$ Z! m r" e5 `" {1 _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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