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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 H9 B# o4 G! N6 ? V$ B# H4 O
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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, T) B2 c5 j1 W 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: J) X/ W' D( Icapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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' k4 J+ `3 E S8 h 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( L, @8 u. Z# F( n7 M, d5 ccapital of Canada .& {* [4 K/ H/ _, b, i( h& D- j
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ c' A6 \5 K& F0 ]! j7 `" @: y
$8.00/hour.! v! F6 j6 f4 w$ Z! d+ M" ^+ R
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 F' N" f+ O! U. r7 `+ v* j6 f
on a 15 year holiday ? y p. a }! Z1 h; o* H
4 d/ Z/ S1 t. i3 x2 N% } 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' k. o: n* m" A- {* L" y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) e. V* T* j: o5 _( U# x
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: S$ j) R8 V, G/ E5 xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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8 I8 F9 l/ y8 ~2 k) ]# }7 a" u THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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, h7 T! Q' Q( P+ Y/ }- k( L2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 B/ R- k B K# w2 [# X' s/ m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.+ ^; |5 r8 w+ |4 f5 r
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ k) |6 J3 d' b$ T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" ~1 D' a" w4 x. o D5 L% zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! [% j: y5 ?, ^* B" Ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) V' r. t! v7 a9 S- n
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 r- X' V T6 |
* f+ q" D- p# K) n* W& P4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 I2 n/ ], S4 d- p1 R& V: Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 Y7 ~( [. l5 W% S8 Ncan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 t5 q- N. b0 h0 T- D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' k( X) J+ g2 Y9 T7 O" Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: ?- J! s I8 e6 U! ~& wmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) i+ \% \/ T$ c: E. vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* t3 ~2 R; v8 H5 b% r
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* q! A% i$ K5 ~
1 v- Q) D6 J( n* _8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ \6 F. j. w3 Vthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 F a/ \7 ?# h uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 t' U: R7 S7 b; E- O& e O4 naccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 i$ S- m7 o- i8 K" q8 G3 d
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* ~! k8 u4 V( P: y/ zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" d. i: D' A" ~ U% F+ \8 N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& y% a& M c$ X9 i6 ]8 a
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
