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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* E H; B4 q6 P" U3 O3 r% s' F: x$ a
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5 z" b5 P% A4 N* L- C2 p; f 1. Bring your own house.) x% u' m* R- ~! N
; _; S/ Q+ q2 L8 ` 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 I4 x3 m- W* _9 a$ G+ G
hospital.( d' M' E& J4 ~ j% ]
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! [- l& y- U( J. f1 r$ P. p8 Y$ f7 hcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 a' D* \- a" o
1 Q( D0 n: ` \ J 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) M+ |3 y$ q! N9 B2 Q" acapital of Canada .8 H m# n; H2 X
9 s* W9 C) I* ~4 S) m 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 O' m. _( K% e) y3 F7 a
$8.00/hour.+ R6 N! }( u5 |6 i5 F- m7 j
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; s; r+ e- H/ j5 k V" S6 F 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) k" F! l, ?+ m& n* x
on a 15 year holiday ?5 B! Z; J; [9 \1 `8 \+ b
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 X4 T) l4 x9 d/ A& T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 {" U$ Z7 _) N+ o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* i, Y) G2 L( z# Y! @8 |+ phere sick.
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% J+ l3 V8 w) L- r }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 u- u. {# I- V, C6 o) Cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 z ]* e/ P; x6 D; R7 B; J/ Q
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# a" B4 W" n2 n# K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& Z2 x8 k% d9 K. k5 f" b
" ]( E2 ~) T/ [' D y w- \6 {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 f" Y' Y8 o/ O" H; E$ Q$ b3 v
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% q, z" H$ [1 [; T# Y9 l8 A" n
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest4 l/ k$ Z6 }% V' _8 U6 Y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: g7 X' X; d* \/ r1 ~% v' B- {go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( L& {- |6 D p9 f3 Q! rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 `. Y2 X( B' \$ T1 N4 V7 X4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# a' ~+ |3 y7 H9 i3 M0 O8 x9 ^2 P
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 M e: [0 L8 Y1 W0 @7 e1 p& a
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 A+ c Y, X1 z: c; j/ Vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* v6 i+ |) f2 G1 w1 O$ p9 U; _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) u4 J; I/ Y5 \0 Z$ P$ o |5 Cmore construction starts everyday.% `; i; I2 N7 f: ^% ^2 t+ P; ^
9 U2 s# V% ?& Q) P+ C4 T 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 h7 c# V/ Y* k5 r+ M" G" i/ `
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* D5 s9 |+ _' J5 n9 H6 Ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ p; I7 _- X, k& c# H6 `0 e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; {' w9 u& e' S8 o
the same road.
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. J( X+ @& N6 K3 k/ f+ x2 N) D9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 L7 m' E( j: N2 X0 T0 j3 sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
" C/ Y2 ?4 i8 Wactivated."
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, e+ }* o9 a3 V+ y! F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 I0 H; O C+ H* @zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! `1 o& B+ O+ G/ p4 U$ |5 raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. s- R# m* T/ J$ n& ~2 q! t
, N5 w( r8 h" x4 n3 E+ f11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- P2 G2 V# w6 G9 I4 W% f
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, G6 @7 |* S8 g$ I
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: N7 b3 Y9 w' E: j) Hvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
