埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2613|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
% V) V/ A, D- g  |! D, _" K
: b% o& [' ?9 I9 `0 N/ n
1 p* `- f" P# v- @. A5 @; ^; q
" {' V/ X" h, O. m6 ~: B 1. Bring your own house.
0 F& L- ?0 s: b
+ {' D  u- Y( g4 C- z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
; b4 _6 f2 c: F: j7 i; ohospital.
* m" s/ [5 n8 u) w3 Y! }" Z  N
. i' l# y- |, \# a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ V3 L( G) S! a2 \; w8 h) F
capital of Canada .* Q* z6 H1 `& Q- s7 q* u- B

! t3 y5 ?$ ~, f1 ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
* G" p! U! C3 T7 N6 ?/ a$ U- F, M
0 N& ]3 I; [9 Q/ @: Q* H$ H5 j& R- C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 x3 f( p  F3 q9 L0 p6 pcapital of Canada .
3 c% l8 I# I0 y& Z* Q
. e/ P3 B2 M: D0 s 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
' o( ]# o+ H( f6 C5 l$8.00/hour.
+ W2 E" P) ~9 u! q$ _4 Y' f) p: w+ ^# A2 T8 L
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. W! P) f; O$ b' ^  Z0 c$ W: Z

6 N1 F, ?% l8 b5 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* m4 I+ {) s; m+ [- O0 D8 v) \. O; I
on a 15 year holiday ?
, ]5 B4 u) y: ^* Z  R) }/ ~4 `, L
3 o0 B, F3 [; H0 ^4 q1 G 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 S& b2 p5 R$ P. Oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
! I* n2 X% X: k' s" I6 r* r1 c/ Y) L! @6 r3 k4 e
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' i' S! _3 M6 H) u/ \% [here sick.
* l# P. u. c" o, y5 F% E" r0 {/ t; r" a1 g! a$ q
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; o; @& \" V) L! o( uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
/ K# ^+ b  p9 [8 Y5 Z
# b3 E* n: X6 j! C* {3 s5 q
2 D) x& ^! ~! ]5 A! `
' T; P  P7 q9 A' X THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 L# O' N& r6 ]3 O

" G+ {4 m+ ]6 y3 x! ?1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
2 T4 y6 }' h8 ?+ m* ~/ G
" G& E9 m4 H7 a' \# U7 l2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 _; e. s( N8 P! H/ e$ {) L% w' r$ Gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
2 ?7 W4 `  y( f4 u: X
3 t3 y/ ]0 t9 }, t7 V; g3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# B' d& u1 p) o. |7 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ @2 n% P9 F4 X2 g; G: pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
. u, E  p: E( V: S  ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 m8 w, ^( T9 a" t
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% Y! R. u" d! e; K# Y, s& ]

& W9 @9 n2 i: w5 P; j4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' N4 T& o% E5 X: L1 W
cussed out, and possibly shot.* A3 x4 \- c1 K0 l3 Q0 T
  a( T: O0 v8 @9 c1 \5 g, E4 h
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& H1 v6 ]6 X% H. `0 y1 p. M) c1 Z9 Ican get you shot.
: b  A2 E$ ]) D  f* i, p! o# o5 p" o% p( H% Y
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 w1 \/ r6 T; f: D0 Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ {: g  r* V% P' P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& {. s6 }8 v) m9 gmore construction starts everyday.
" K# n7 ], w( [& B! j, \2 T* U; A) b" X! G# c( T8 z
  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ S6 |* }4 S4 O/ u
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 q# Z+ g, E; J
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
7 \. M% r- [+ \. h+ r7 B9 z% U
& r- f0 T% |) }8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 {$ H4 l, A5 Q0 K- m1 a
the same road./ g) H8 `* I( i$ \+ V$ ~! q

" j3 M* T. u1 z6 L0 w% c9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 v* g5 L% F7 U7 k6 ^& o' Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
: I& C1 n5 _8 U% z# @" d6 Aactivated."! ^' F' U) j# x2 Y% g: C

) `. z; H" w4 F9 P4 j" Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
  `( F. c! E2 kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( C7 q1 x" v$ h: U$ s* j
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! G: I4 s6 t( F* h7 M8 t* k

4 }/ X, H3 t4 _+ v0 \+ v: Y1 N11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; N- p% o% i& x. `  k+ Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- a& X. |4 T  Oblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 z0 v* [* F, q( }- ~  ?virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
! t* u6 n( y3 {7 }! D
有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
- b$ d* j* ?1 q' ?- d4 B满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。, u$ T  h. _  b% d7 @/ q% V+ F9 ^
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : # t# [7 C2 f' E$ _5 ?4 `* [, k

! h5 Q* W! Q. y4 _$ z1 Q此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
7 J: Z) J8 D; e: X5 B: r& G* c7 i; p4 i2 Y6 L
1 t! `& N+ i: U! P
  I* _) s9 w; F0 ~) }0 f) g
[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表   |4 j$ {6 y" k, ]" w. \! a
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。7 l4 p* l$ _$ j" F
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
" J# X+ q4 C1 s ...

6 a2 c8 G2 a) B
0 t0 H: b, W1 ~8 [ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 ! H) u. ?$ B( k3 `

$ H+ ~* g  G; c% {$ p) |
; @" ?' E+ Q( @# z* Z+ Z# @ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

+ z; Q# Z& t6 y. p8 x- R# b. [( E3 |9 k& d/ F4 R" G: L8 m, {+ i4 |$ I8 O4 O
这么刺痛你了吗?* L% u$ o$ v4 y/ X0 ~3 C4 Z
" s  q2 F9 s$ @
我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 * P3 s$ V: ?# p& z
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。  b: u$ G! J: k& U2 c% [& O% ], P3 l. Z" K  ]
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
, r+ _. D- O* o9 B# m! E5 U3 _ ...

. h- C( H1 r. m* v你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
( B4 K) g$ \. y& k+ j
' H# \- C4 r5 Z: q& {4 E: v再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
; f8 g9 c1 f' @1 \+ m% V
5 V2 ~2 z) u; c; ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2025-7-24 22:11 , Processed in 0.206253 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表