 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
8 D' d2 x& o% P$ t* C& C3 Q. |8 s$ [2 m: F4 z% G9 j }
3 Z. \; J$ O( ]7 I
! ^5 D! i$ v7 K" p# N 1. Bring your own house.
3 n% f( E5 G3 w' G5 B3 h3 E
7 {- [: z. A9 q5 V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
7 Q, {, x1 S- Z0 M! B- Bhospital." w0 I; _. Q8 y! w; I6 Q
% K/ c2 B2 u0 p5 _ W. c8 x
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. K1 q! ~: g' H! V, h
capital of Canada .
R) B8 k/ B8 i6 I/ s
u2 j. |: f+ n' B7 M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada . m# r7 [+ s4 S5 G. p
9 Y) F6 ]( M( Q! T, m 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 j, Q: b: A& m& W4 h+ u
capital of Canada .
- w1 z) h& z' k1 B' a
' X+ j& G+ P' v- @) `% b; ^ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 ]+ N% w4 p( z: n
$8.00/hour. D# h4 H) p, q U& q$ M/ W5 g
( t& p; I6 h$ J1 k8 E6 T, X& @/ [ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
; _9 G/ }( |9 w7 N4 O1 {4 x$ x( @! B! p- _- b' K
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 N1 g& A- D1 y* E. z- }
on a 15 year holiday ?2 ~& }. E/ x0 p" a! l! P6 m
2 a' o# e; O: c* M: \ b' [
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) \) g% |8 l: M' n: E/ {
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
. e' K3 y/ q. A# z3 z' ?6 v( \8 G) ?, T( P6 i! ]2 K [
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 h- U! ^1 ~7 s7 o1 w( ]here sick.$ A/ S! |4 z& F0 E, d8 v
: H) L+ ?) Y# d. _# l" ^: u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" K1 R2 w; ~/ c7 v0 u) `, q; o& {years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! q- T: f* g7 o3 h2 c
! K4 B) t | x, W$ t( Y* p
7 \' W' {0 A3 D3 [* y
W& T" L8 j4 {1 p THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) K3 v* J( d: l4 b x$ F. O
# x/ K+ ]& ^5 o2 f
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
& ]* o# V1 K. w/ ^2 ~' h. \
- D; }5 k! }. f% B8 I% T( t2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ J+ _$ J5 a. e% E
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 p# g; G( e4 k* `2 Z i) l
5 {: K' H/ ?6 C) |; F( Z
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 ~4 N; @+ }1 d. K4 e) j5 }+ Eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& s" D/ v5 Z6 m- z. B* I1 _& k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
. L, t! L' d I$ E; ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 m& f5 r5 R# I, X, O+ aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
8 P. B4 l" M4 [8 ?8 L6 _ w
6 E+ L: F+ R; N+ C. B% j# W4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) i; a M7 E- w4 R
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 s7 }) Q2 }3 t. Q; p) ?
# u+ r/ m$ u9 y
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 f3 z* U( y( Y" Z8 q' y* I/ E9 i! {3 Ycan get you shot.: O; r2 ^2 ], t2 i$ h! W; F
+ x) G3 p9 A# `" z+ B" R3 z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
: V7 ]+ U! r) f* v/ x: Mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& q3 O0 M# c" ~
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ U; @! [) s! Z+ \6 ~
more construction starts everyday." H5 K A* D D- ^
$ v/ I1 ~3 M4 n' L# ]. k2 ?
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) C: ~7 g# N- A* B( wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& `+ v( y+ U+ P& z% w
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 H2 F1 `8 F Y& V O* D6 Y0 E
+ I0 `( \: u: d& c! t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. M5 Q0 _0 a2 zthe same road.
* j; u; M! y1 r8 s0 w, C$ @9 g3 y8 A# V8 U; h+ \
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 [, T, y" w: T0 r. f
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
6 o; J7 A4 u( ?2 O0 c( J& S0 tactivated."% f/ I+ Z B) |0 C4 D! B% ^+ A
* U3 ^, c: i( j! r+ a10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
/ v# T: Z+ p) t2 `. [2 }8 n8 ]: lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ i1 h7 g9 b) B3 x9 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ I8 u% e+ Y" D
) ?$ J1 ~1 i8 M: q3 E
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. J6 Y9 Z9 ?: u' vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; o: y+ K( W+ x# Q* p
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is u8 [. P# v% H/ ~0 W' a* w- p
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
