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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and5 x0 r6 {" F9 m0 [ Y5 C" T
hospital.9 Q% f' E7 {- g0 d4 d0 S! t
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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P! p8 d! f( z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( h/ @- p8 |: I) O' H 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, u% w) Q- r! `* P N1 R
capital of Canada .
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' B9 ^( ?" O& `0 D$ F 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& _; ]6 Z& _9 y) D1 _
$8.00/hour.) Y. Q2 P) y+ A+ g) Y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ @& z0 F) {9 _4 q" l* R
& R$ o# R* e! r3 Z2 F$ H% P# g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 L+ G2 v! b# [5 G% s2 z
on a 15 year holiday ?8 ]3 L. y5 Y0 E
5 M) ]7 N; C+ N9 Z 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas* B9 t# J1 G" Y! t8 f% d
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 h) Z( s- s& ?# M" K10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
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7 G) H# \7 \/ C* ?8 { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; O/ a2 c1 H% S7 }0 X5 {
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
_& c, q$ R7 L4 N% ^5 pis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 H7 d, j% D3 _0 X( @3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 r/ D4 |& ]3 E' x6 T2 ^
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest1 P& [' e3 f& g; j
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 F9 ]5 B6 e8 e; b- lgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell; @0 }! U8 j/ `+ {4 }" [, B
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 R0 P3 \+ Y# A' O* O
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 {. {- f0 B. i. {' m! D9 tcussed out, and possibly shot. ]/ k% p q+ M1 e+ q0 A
% d+ o$ m0 I9 I, q9 w( {5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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/ Y1 t6 f; u3 \- ^6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour N- [# `: t1 O& z3 i" \" N
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 O2 p ?3 y( I# W+ i v
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
s$ s* e |. {: r8 dmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: C1 N/ W! S# N- e g4 R# Y
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( U. P/ h$ h9 [
the same road.& W% p) s& w* {0 Z+ a' r. l) r
% C# N! }$ C4 Z7 p* ] R) h. v) ^9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
v$ d; i1 Q' n. h G& ?shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km5 R% n3 }3 W+ ?% M& Y6 L/ b! e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off". ^% ]0 e+ s0 j( \
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ z# s3 Z( }9 n" O& glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
