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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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4 w! O! b5 i3 v& @ 1. Bring your own house.' T, S/ M3 i3 n4 F5 f7 ]
7 w |( t2 ?5 j! G 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% x1 G* [' ^* S$ q# [1 z* E, J* V$ c
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, {+ w, R) `) j$ rcapital of Canada .+ T+ f$ A- A& @7 M" l
2 _+ r, B, w( ~% x; I9 r5 ? 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 n) H% I) Y1 ^
capital of Canada .
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( ]5 m3 Q( n2 N8 q9 c 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
b+ b+ p4 _ ~4 a0 h. t% u$8.00/hour.4 y S' P& B3 v- J. G
n* T9 o# _8 j2 b2 [; p4 p 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 G- I, {! w6 a3 `$ b
/ O0 P- L% Q- @- h# g! Z$ P @* J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& U3 z5 l2 r% M- x# t, ~2 i$ g/ a
on a 15 year holiday ?
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; f3 V4 J- k' y5 b# ] 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 G; z+ m( K' I0 f
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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5 _. w9 u+ d- s l$ ]/ g+ d: u# G11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 o0 x7 i( a' w" Y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. n2 j$ W! ^7 e
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" n: {' @) Y( ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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7 a; R& B' a, F% _. | i/ L1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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) d$ Z" }$ P& e4 E. W$ g2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) u0 d1 ~$ ^$ i4 H) d- his from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
X% D8 r: A# W4 k _; s" E& _# Rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 J. C c) M+ P7 r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 ]* @/ x, I [$ j D ^8 H* L6 K
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 T* K- t% Q2 O1 D
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." z6 d6 B2 ?) c; w/ c$ z
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) u, `( X) |7 [ U+ Ycussed out, and possibly shot.0 @8 j4 w- A. w$ m
" T: A1 ]) ]: L A# t, Q/ J5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 O* k& N. m) S" B9 r6 @can get you shot.% N, X3 ?2 C( |6 r6 y
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- n: v# n$ L( U
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 l0 B9 [3 ?6 p6 g6 ]day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, w9 I' L1 _, b& h4 s% h! Kmore construction starts everyday.
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" r$ Q& X: q7 S! n2 D5 Z( w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
. ^! h5 H3 \0 z2 E% ]1 r: g/ gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 Z( ?& c, X6 Q6 n
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all7 F- A+ y" e" F# }: ?
the same road.- x' h& n; p" Z% [( n* j7 Y; b
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 @: o u0 f8 F" {
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 {2 M$ |$ I1 q/ b p) `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 {4 e4 O( C# e+ \ C5 z/ l
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur) Y4 u" Z6 d8 ?, U d/ [# \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! K" H9 O+ Z+ ]; y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
w) j6 k* P" l% svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
