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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 K  [; ?8 M# e
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1. Bring your own house.& n" C! }) q- t0 T$ b1 T9 }  L
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
( m' w/ R& L* ~$ ]6 p/ l8 [hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, ?& s* z3 X8 L6 a
capital of Canada .
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' x8 Z1 U  B% h5 d 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ _: \1 [/ `1 f, C

% f0 M; I' u! [ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! e' l) P% t2 {( Ncapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 _( ^" @6 w/ Z* D" R; P! ?
$8.00/hour.' y3 \" [$ t! A) L  Y' w
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* t$ |% g1 M1 g' Z

3 t$ I7 X  f( ]: }! N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 Z+ f3 p. n6 p0 A5 i& y
on a 15 year holiday ?0 \, v  Y1 l' Z: f( k2 j6 f
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. }' ]# O2 [6 }( m& D$ hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 A" `$ _7 @) }; l! G; j/ Q

9 g4 F, F/ |: V! I10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
  j9 t% t; W0 F; Z& P$ |here sick.7 |0 G, P* j) t9 V" a- g* }% {7 }
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- m- C+ N9 D- O/ h- P
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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- }; u: t2 b& X- V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" W" s* E2 E% p2 }8 ]  V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& z) a, R  [' N
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 H: ]) |- B) C) f( W3 L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." X  k# h; g# N

/ l# W- J" N6 G& y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 j. ^/ E$ p, R2 o; I- N
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& D% r, e9 o1 \! Z, s; I( Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- H' }3 B( l1 s8 m& x0 q' o& ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 Z5 @! V9 p* f- T. bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 H# k- v$ q" W% ]# c( [
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' Y3 Z/ L. ]% O. ^cussed out, and possibly shot.. A; \0 V, S' H! Y. ]* I8 I, d" x
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( y3 D* {/ v7 r' N" Q/ _
can get you shot.& g+ k- d& L! y2 d4 N: j

9 f# c1 N( R2 b) I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 `! ~1 j5 @. B8 B. \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* T# |5 |. p0 z9 |; y' qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* t# B& l4 w* [
more construction starts everyday.
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  s! c* E. w- E1 f$ T3 f  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ ]9 F( L% X+ D  j& _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 M; n  O% N8 e2 c7 K0 N+ C2 L
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ H) Y- Q: P9 o/ P- d

  H* z% ]1 O! d( O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 c& [8 G" E' q1 U& D
the same road.! \* |* T9 ]+ N: C( A

' _% Z3 U' @. p9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# A, b$ l  Y$ `& m; A- k: o
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
: p1 P+ L( M: q/ _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 S4 A# S; ^. L, {9 m7 Waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 J& Q4 R# r: s  O4 N2 M& alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and' \9 W* Y& H: b7 g6 t4 J7 U
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 w! F1 t. W4 ~$ n$ ~8 ~
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

7 W8 p$ A7 C' Y! I  R  c有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
8 s+ o  K$ }) j满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。4 J. {" I1 S: |/ F2 V* t
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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/ E5 ?. r" D8 ~% G5 b此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 $ V% k" J% T3 V9 T/ A
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
: o* _8 {# S$ `  u$ L- r8 ?. ]- l1 l朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。  O: J: t8 r4 J( |
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 Z. `6 y& y$ S
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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7 B3 N2 v. F5 J+ ^3 y% X 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?6 t! {+ x7 ?$ f8 L: u  U
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
2 r- R8 v% u' r' r( o朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: L- Q2 H. v2 {1 [* K: P, b. ?
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
8 k- S( }# s% F$ ~; M ...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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; t8 L2 |4 C+ m* ?% ]再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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