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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.* X! i% O# r5 h3 x. c. l
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( q3 r8 y) N& p; i
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! b3 b! n/ Z' ^9 F

* P7 V% ~) g8 O  x, K 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( p8 H0 W+ L4 J$ _2 ~0 ~, X
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& I- E1 X. f3 L# I( B+ z! K6 K$8.00/hour.: e# |% [- `0 K0 Q& t8 `7 b  `; c

; z! x, e, c3 k( ?& e 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' a1 K! q  R# `& Q) A2 q, M/ S3 F9 g
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! Z. v* Q; j3 [5 J
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)( k) m# W) M! s6 ]/ C0 _1 v, R8 u
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 f5 j, T# x9 m3 h8 N2 z& \  F
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 O5 ~# f. s8 G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 z" H5 p/ P( D; h+ p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& F  i* N3 L" g; I2 w% J3 l! K
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* ^! P. r5 _4 J1 _muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 Q% @6 E5 }# c0 y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 h; t) f( M; y" o  S1 F# }# @
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& W" v4 [0 _+ N! _# C" }( I
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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( y& @% C0 A$ A% P9 l2 y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- S, g( d$ C% d: k; Z  B
can get you shot.. y# ~1 e) D. @# w) Y

5 f! R* b" g# @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* K6 P6 G$ v, `
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' I5 b0 e" S$ I. }# v0 Q# L
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& A/ g0 u' [1 y& ]2 cmore construction starts everyday.. x1 {: n& T" D+ |. B( O. p
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 C7 Y3 {$ g$ Z/ T  j3 M& w8 F
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 f3 H3 E' M+ W4 A5 K* c: _6 lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. E7 ^, F/ o: u) E3 ]4 L( @
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ N8 D$ S8 W" v# a) _the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 _9 k! [2 [$ s( j+ \* Pshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 _7 w$ |' L. a: O9 f% ?! s
activated."
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5 R+ O  U$ x  c" n10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, q! b: H, P% }$ M' c; b6 ^5 i
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"; p3 I, H7 L, b  d/ F- L
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 l4 m6 m" Q3 m- _# a11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ R' W3 c0 o) }% P% \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; \* O) i: _2 \% f6 D# g
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! C' g0 `$ Y/ A5 s0 i9 nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

/ J8 M$ d, W- \8 o有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 v3 s8 Q' h& E$ j满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' ^: _# O2 ?1 }. S2 S+ t& c
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : # p5 p1 ?1 Z6 W+ _! C+ h

/ p5 {! Y7 `5 {) n" b9 h) I6 q; i% \此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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6 k8 V9 G+ e6 H; O4 D  B. S& @[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% j7 l& g  y4 D朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。8 a$ N1 B7 E' i% p' w
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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. V2 Y7 U$ ^! W! n- Y: m 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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4 B4 q( m% D7 i  g1 F* \ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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% S. E2 X( A$ J0 G7 R0 d这么刺痛你了吗?
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- r8 |9 v* \7 H4 P我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 0 R  G! f. C& U3 u# X
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ f# ?& e- S! t8 }- q, F* j+ ]满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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/ B" Z+ O7 J4 a% h0 h; i5 W5 j' C) y你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。$ O# N( R/ Z4 m: w+ I7 ]

5 r+ w0 z* q- O$ n; x再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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