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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.* X! i% O# r5 h3 x. c. l
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( q3 r8 y) N& p; i
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! b3 b! n/ Z' ^9 F
* P7 V% ~) g8 O x, K 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( p8 H0 W+ L4 J$ _2 ~0 ~, X
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& I- E1 X. f3 L# I( B+ z! K6 K$8.00/hour.: e# |% [- `0 K0 Q& t8 `7 b `; c
; z! x, e, c3 k( ?& e 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' a1 K! q R# `& Q) A2 q, M/ S3 F9 g
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! Z. v* Q; j3 [5 J
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)( k) m# W) M! s6 ]/ C0 _1 v, R8 u
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 f5 j, T# x9 m3 h8 N2 z& \ F
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 O5 ~# f. s8 G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 z" H5 p/ P( D; h+ p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& F i* N3 L" g; I2 w% J3 l! K
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* ^! P. r5 _4 J1 _muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 Q% @6 E5 }# c0 y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 h; t) f( M; y" o S1 F# }# @
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& W" v4 [0 _+ N! _# C" }( I
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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( y& @% C0 A$ A% P9 l2 y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- S, g( d$ C% d: k; Z B
can get you shot.. y# ~1 e) D. @# w) Y
5 f! R* b" g# @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* K6 P6 G$ v, `
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' I5 b0 e" S$ I. }# v0 Q# L
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& A/ g0 u' [1 y& ]2 cmore construction starts everyday.. x1 {: n& T" D+ |. B( O. p
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 C7 Y3 {$ g$ Z/ T j3 M& w8 F
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 f3 H3 E' M+ W4 A5 K* c: _6 lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. E7 ^, F/ o: u) E3 ]4 L( @
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ N8 D$ S8 W" v# a) _the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 _9 k! [2 [$ s( j+ \* Pshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 _7 w$ |' L. a: O9 f% ?! s
activated."
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5 R+ O U$ x c" n10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, q! b: H, P% }$ M' c; b6 ^5 i
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"; p3 I, H7 L, b d/ F- L
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 l4 m6 m" Q3 m- _# a11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ R' W3 c0 o) }% P% \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; \* O) i: _2 \% f6 D# g
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! C' g0 `$ Y/ A5 s0 i9 nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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