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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 K [; ?8 M# e
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1. Bring your own house.& n" C! }) q- t0 T$ b1 T9 } L
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
( m' w/ R& L* ~$ ]6 p/ l8 [hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, ?& s* z3 X8 L6 a
capital of Canada .
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' x8 Z1 U B% h5 d 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ _: \1 [/ `1 f, C
% f0 M; I' u! [ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! e' l) P% t2 {( Ncapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 _( ^" @6 w/ Z* D" R; P! ?
$8.00/hour.' y3 \" [$ t! A) L Y' w
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* t$ |% g1 M1 g' Z
3 t$ I7 X f( ]: }! N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 Z+ f3 p. n6 p0 A5 i& y
on a 15 year holiday ?0 \, v Y1 l' Z: f( k2 j6 f
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. }' ]# O2 [6 }( m& D$ hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 A" `$ _7 @) }; l! G; j/ Q
9 g4 F, F/ |: V! I10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
j9 t% t; W0 F; Z& P$ |here sick.7 |0 G, P* j) t9 V" a- g* }% {7 }
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- m- C+ N9 D- O/ h- P
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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- }; u: t2 b& X- V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" W" s* E2 E% p2 }8 ] V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& z) a, R [' N
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 H: ]) |- B) C) f( W3 L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." X k# h; g# N
/ l# W- J" N6 G& y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 j. ^/ E$ p, R2 o; I- N
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& D% r, e9 o1 \! Z, s; I( Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- H' }3 B( l1 s8 m& x0 q' o& ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 Z5 @! V9 p* f- T. bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 H# k- v$ q" W% ]# c( [
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' Y3 Z/ L. ]% O. ^cussed out, and possibly shot.. A; \0 V, S' H! Y. ]* I8 I, d" x
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( y3 D* {/ v7 r' N" Q/ _
can get you shot.& g+ k- d& L! y2 d4 N: j
9 f# c1 N( R2 b) I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 `! ~1 j5 @. B8 B. \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* T# |5 |. p0 z9 |; y' qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* t# B& l4 w* [
more construction starts everyday.
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s! c* E. w- E1 f$ T3 f 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ ]9 F( L% X+ D j& _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 M; n O% N8 e2 c7 K0 N+ C2 L
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ H) Y- Q: P9 o/ P- d
H* z% ]1 O! d( O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 c& [8 G" E' q1 U& D
the same road.! \* |* T9 ]+ N: C( A
' _% Z3 U' @. p9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# A, b$ l Y$ `& m; A- k: o
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
: p1 P+ L( M: q/ _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 S4 A# S; ^. L, {9 m7 Waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
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blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 w! F1 t. W4 ~$ n$ ~8 ~
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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