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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# }6 n+ a3 g, n" ~( {8 Y6 q8 `
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/ y1 o) N, m; ` 1. Bring your own house. j2 w8 F/ C, h$ b1 _, H+ W
; L0 G0 n3 ]) I# Q$ X, ^) v! H! a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
( e, c: ]0 r# W& t, [, rhospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: \ g( ]& j; `: \/ C1 V0 w; dcapital of Canada .
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$ U, W) N2 e1 n e 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* b1 K% I3 [5 {' ^* S$ s
8 f/ V$ z" ~$ k8 t5 {, c" z' K& @ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. `* Z5 _' I$ d$ }capital of Canada .! C" b# I3 v6 ] ^
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 N/ O6 ~! t; C) p3 P$8.00/hour./ g5 \. d3 Z; m/ d/ S0 ?
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& p6 m& D( Q& e t! D4 j
, z* k3 L. h5 R; T; M 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 j+ Q8 P/ y0 f4 y" a! b$ G
on a 15 year holiday ?2 M* S- H3 z- f/ h+ F' a# H3 b
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 i( X% `1 Z, e6 {. z9 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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, Q' Y4 }( C2 {- O% Z7 X o- [10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, F( b2 B) m/ W$ zhere sick.7 T% s$ X' k+ b4 n
3 P; v0 {! e7 G5 g' n11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* {) n3 c# R5 n9 ]
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) A' I/ b3 R0 X+ r" ?& f& s
+ P/ m- |+ O& \4 Y, r" i& g, D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 b; ]: {" M( W6 j$ z2 P
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ l+ h8 i- q$ m3 `8 ^
* x, K- T8 M! z' |7 O. ^3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ m4 M* P# Y6 k/ gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& L2 f; K* F/ G, Z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 Z" y( u4 o, h4 ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: z U/ @& ?" D9 |, C6 i% tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; C. c# b+ O4 d; \$ d4 Z' {* i
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 `. r& j+ C9 ?cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 H: B8 L. z" g' t- T0 q
can get you shot.3 B# q+ Y& C/ w: Y2 ?. u% \8 Q% f
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 r5 H) D; J8 e" m! y4 V; F3 ~- i; H
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, e/ a7 w& c& V- T0 S! rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 j4 {5 w2 Q. ] `
more construction starts everyday." e* V. X3 ~0 t+ j
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" s9 G4 L( D/ K* @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) L( x8 _5 K3 I
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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# J( k2 g9 g* v/ l' l8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
8 r" O% {3 W/ v) Y/ Othe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 c: A% U5 M, R; C( D Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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) v( }# A4 A9 {$ Z1 |- i/ ~3 E10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" ~2 {6 i7 L# s' \, w# I/ i( X4 K
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 G) i( _: Q1 Z- R6 @3 H* F+ F
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. M0 s4 A/ w* l
) `; T. E, z7 X( M+ C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ ^4 I( Z9 E, {
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# u$ m0 N* K4 q' |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 R1 g: W! Y( u0 s; dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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