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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 ?$ L+ Y0 g: ~$ |. c4 g3 E# Q
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3 n7 G/ b, i/ H0 ~! @9 J6 r3 ~- l3 o 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 Y1 c N& Z9 C7 y
capital of Canada .5 u4 S0 c" e1 @6 s
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: E7 n6 X- W0 |- M4 ecapital of Canada .
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; u4 @! w( y k# ~, R 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 T% n6 v; M8 o, ?0 G/ Z! b: X
$8.00/hour.4 W: {) m4 \3 c: e
$ p0 y2 P* f: F9 q) B7 w 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ X. Q& G* |# v- X+ D& I; H
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% w# M& n' @+ m. K% z. a( ^
on a 15 year holiday ?' r; v+ C4 {, A7 y4 s
" a: j% A- ]4 @! t, p 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
0 y+ i) W1 ?: |) j* d6 ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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" Y" ^5 l) E* I( N/ L9 v: u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; Z6 O5 c% X2 P, |" A
here sick.& r7 L. K( C' ~ G& I
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* S) Q! ?: Z! G% m% w
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 \) R$ g2 i8 M( a9 }) a. z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 ~/ e& ^# j0 ^" q8 x
7 S( X& `& P, U9 p/ F8 Z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 X4 h$ d( u- \9 `1 N
9 _4 v& W, c& `5 K8 S2 y5 q8 f2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 v3 k1 R7 Q: l) W2 \0 I6 u2 j) b
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.0 H5 }7 Z- Y* r$ s- V
& @6 F' j5 I$ g. d0 h3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ D" C! L" ^1 J( |, L# cown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ |6 r: G! j/ e& u9 h
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( R" s5 Y+ b# I6 U( u- Bgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 @% a( E" d9 N) K+ Lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* z2 S+ o2 F1 w% [; c8 P% X
/ ]! M: }# F8 b2 T& G4 b4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( \3 B& X$ m3 o/ H- O$ }0 ccussed out, and possibly shot.. g( P3 |/ K7 H; q
- c% W4 S: |( C/ g- g6 t" @5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ {% e" F: {6 t% `: X4 H
can get you shot.4 j, M& c: M; D9 @/ y$ o1 L
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour( M6 U; J* {/ ?9 ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 \: l& S6 ^5 G+ B& s% ~
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- t7 X9 M8 p2 W8 ^0 L6 h( c2 omore construction starts everyday.% L8 b6 i r+ |. V+ ^0 ^0 Q$ R
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( I; g+ F% M# L- {2 c) G/ O$ u) Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 O, a% t$ z' E6 e% N4 N
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ c3 v! p- e) z% ^3 G
the same road.) v" X# W) Z6 k4 A
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; i5 x& M! n+ u% V0 y* k
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ ^. B$ F# T U* ^# h( y" X
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& U0 G3 E% S) }/ k0 c
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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! a8 l" I5 i' E0 K11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 C* |( V1 E! }. K
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( d; b% e/ i- @; _' U/ V
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is/ f) o- R6 V- J! ?6 }
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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