 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' S2 v7 [" w7 V! A. ]( Z5 u
4 [9 [. n7 ~7 `3 V- f3 Q5 j" ?+ j& b% a: }
; n1 w$ K2 z9 J2 j8 J 1. Bring your own house.0 i* Z+ f# A# N
$ b: }, X& d$ ]" H; p# F
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
% v% T7 P7 e$ t N* m" Y) fhospital.
2 A; A8 _% [7 R6 ^# W# }: M
& i: a3 A9 n4 k5 b0 w 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; X9 @* P/ ^$ H5 ^9 ^5 b* O4 lcapital of Canada .& b9 x& c7 M! S( K
7 B2 C' F0 e8 ~
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
& @' p) B& b! b6 x7 g2 ]* k" ?, i
$ d6 W& b* n! A, C2 s" T) z% k 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
& j% M' c* Y3 t7 Z& qcapital of Canada .
$ n- o1 E! g/ P9 U6 M" |9 ^; D4 y# m* k) X
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& P$ ~8 D* K3 k# U4 C. C8 G+ a
$8.00/hour.# T6 ~" _0 K1 z) p9 m7 f! O
) I \* _ j/ {+ T* I6 B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
2 M8 _1 K* X. {3 l4 r1 R5 @5 J7 ~$ y! v( y R
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 p9 E7 f6 O1 v, q% d4 U( ~4 [5 Lon a 15 year holiday ?
3 d+ c4 d Y+ W6 y/ U7 t+ L* }: } w$ g8 q' G5 q
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: ]: w0 ^: K# k; w1 t# V: V" `prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 s2 j) S0 U1 s3 ~1 p7 ?% Z# U
" X7 Z% j: h8 o. m6 `2 @10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; G3 _0 b' H6 u% chere sick.
4 l2 Z& h z2 D! k- B0 {3 m" Y
& p3 Z3 F9 [7 d" r1 }( x d) {11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) ?& _+ X! u# G& V. \, H- byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
3 H: ~. H% S' {7 R9 }- m$ I2 l
n' ^; y7 T1 Q2 A# R
B' y) a6 o' N9 ]4 ~. l: N; [8 U THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ Y+ q3 K0 H3 ~8 E8 U# F. l5 e" z
: i% R& \5 e% f! |. [5 b3 {, k1 ]
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
7 a! H6 T7 k8 }! i! ^6 h3 b
8 F/ @2 g1 k1 w9 X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 }# x* Y. t r! Z9 kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
# E5 t4 g6 q# y9 p' ], R4 m& H/ ?! w! [% ? G
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its" f2 ?( w7 I7 P% }6 e
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest4 f7 I2 {( x+ P2 A" _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 q- v# k& p# R9 D4 ~% B* ^: J2 `
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ y3 ]* d2 H) G- wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
0 T5 c/ C0 g# ?; A* ]( B/ Q1 D& N
9 U9 A5 {4 h, J: P; ?8 a4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 c! J$ U- p. r- k2 |0 ]
cussed out, and possibly shot.
; V: l" o6 C H
+ o$ x7 p- {" A, `! ~1 f4 U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( {0 F% {, s1 g7 k& mcan get you shot.
5 V, v( u' b9 c2 A
1 W/ `% O+ E- T, ~' ~$ g; ?( x: N6 G6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
7 f1 y5 C3 z6 R* h& |7 Nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 t a5 u: k% {! h# W, A: c+ Y3 P: Dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 ^6 i* J0 A# s$ E( P% z) jmore construction starts everyday.
5 m+ K1 E O, d% l
/ l |- ^% t! J/ P, g+ c3 l- Z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# M; G3 N8 ~% r; A3 E- h. I
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,4 J/ R, z$ A6 x6 q, i: B( s) ]
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 Q4 o, M1 H3 s0 a7 v# r
C" i* ]% E6 F' |6 P
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ e j0 _3 a2 m! c
the same road.
+ T& t, \3 o4 `$ U, i/ Z& R9 w
' x5 O% r3 P' i, Y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
; n+ ?* L/ M$ p \+ Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
5 r5 O2 v$ P0 a/ wactivated."6 v* H& k; m+ }* l( v' `+ n* P
3 x7 D5 _7 H, i0 v" W- I9 T; s7 ?10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) s$ f# R2 |* b$ Z4 d% r9 N/ S% Vzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- [) k* V2 l6 R$ `, P1 L9 @& ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 S8 ~2 R7 C) y+ @" s" o5 i0 `0 T
7 [* E. M, l# p9 o* L+ a% W
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 `( `2 x/ V; K' s. ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ X0 }: _0 D9 ?% h! b8 |* vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. h ^: l! @4 evirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
