请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
! d- {. v+ `( T; OBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
6 B. @& ^2 y5 z5 ZHowever,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
% g0 d8 a: [! S. eThanks a lot!!!

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3 o3 o$ x* S' P& N2 y' a
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Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
) N) {' r$ s# H& m7 N( R              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
# ?0 r5 T% q) V8 g, y8 ]/ C0 q              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
9 i, N) e% S, t- p              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
0 D2 u$ |* x( I4 J9 v              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
! R1 r% M" J( ^However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
7 Z+ B& ]9 [$ F+ o5 g- w             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
! }! r2 O' g/ j1 a& I5 e             somehow I lost myself inside again
2 _5 B) `5 U$ T) w2 f$ k9 L3 L% bNow,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
; r% ~! Q# I. L, x9 J& U             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
" H" [% I" ~0 ^$ e* x) E, QBasically, I almost finish this poem
! @9 f) h* S6 u+ N6 W/ P' ?               I am 一个人de精彩
$ g# z7 z5 z- A% W3 C- d               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
But........         
Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
% c5 ^3 M8 ?9 k2 p5 u* Y" jSomehow I'd find something wrong with us
4 w1 T/ |' j$ tSomehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
Somehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
; e% N( V- u4 {1 XSomehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

" Y2 \3 j. P1 BSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
# M+ S# j; f1 W' @Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
7 n; G7 l  G* V  O) p8 uSomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
Somehow I lost myself inside it again
( n  r- n+ ]6 H  B8 h
8 O  U- r; Q# JSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Somehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
3 Q: u6 {' B) |; q- E: }7 b================================================
$ v0 b- S9 r/ I8 T+ `/ o$ pHowever, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

, l1 G0 t: N) }% N/ \0 S7 Dsomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？