请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
% t; \4 s$ p% m2 C2 nBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
Thanks a lot!!!
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Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
! D8 R+ s$ L0 A! x! [$ N              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
7 K! E5 O. l& x1 @3 P              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
" ]7 I- c/ Y* _; f              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
* {/ V1 x. K2 \0 OHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
5 X, {( |& v7 C             somehow I lost myself inside again
Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
, Q  L, ^$ A0 p2 X               I am 一个人de精彩
               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
But........         
Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

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Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
' n; S/ i3 E% C$ P. v- E5 ~Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
& U5 `" P+ \* M3 i* m4 X8 zSomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
5 y& s4 \: h; @4 g% k" c3 eSomehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
* [; h! \3 \- H: J$ \Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness
3 W8 Y2 d5 u& ~
& Y+ _  i' b3 {Somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
2 p3 w+ a: o7 m3 H  @Somehow I lost myself inside it again

Somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
& r: O  ?# x4 L" R: u9 }Somehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
( j7 y. h0 t! Q! t================================================
/ a- k; y% h& I  hHowever, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday
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somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
/ F' S0 ]. ?' _* x0 w1 x# K8 S3 y我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

4 R% ^/ d1 m2 ]2 j3 ]% {) k哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？