请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
4 C' g) ]7 ]9 U7 V( jBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
Thanks a lot!!!
8 x. s$ l+ x8 c- G) j# [

5 R  o4 I3 _) E; ~
2 C0 v% N( ]' Z



2 I) U9 W! @2 f/ DFormerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
0 M2 Q" n7 V+ f              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
/ y" j) ]# ^: k              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
/ e7 {5 x. F+ k- ~, a% m              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
9 ^4 n$ D' Q0 v# g" A" mHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
0 I* s) _! P8 `' g, U             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
' t; \( l/ O% k. k0 [; ~             somehow I lost myself inside again
9 S, f' `0 h( \; x1 D& ?Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
$ [% M- t, Q4 d/ Y6 bFinally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
& i8 H5 s6 Y7 Z  ?2 K. ^Basically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
* |' d  r" c+ A2 O% W               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
But........         
9 c' o. ~) W( H) x. t* a- FIronically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

8 C! m/ z+ W( b7 D: W卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
' t& X0 J# ~. @0 W2 o# {* nSomehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
7 Y4 Q% c3 R  z  c. ESomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

) D, s5 N% G7 f# W$ @, bSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
1 V6 ~. ^3 [) j( eSomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
: H6 g! _. o: c4 {- ISomehow I lost myself inside it again

: j9 ^  n5 b1 H" W% S  eSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Somehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
================================================
However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
( M# {$ \8 n' N% `我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

4 x- V4 H: n% {6 p& ~- s2 f0 u( \哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？