请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
5 U8 ^  A& v8 d) ABesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
# g# T: \! q+ F: {/ n6 C+ r. {9 eHowever,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
9 h9 b1 Z, a2 \1 T; `* YThanks a lot!!!
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! N9 f# n2 ?6 t* v7 WFormerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
2 s) V1 C9 d. j9 Q- T6 e# c              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
$ f+ e  [- o; A6 q1 n: Q9 I              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
+ {- {7 a2 D* F5 U7 V              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
/ |% l, D% [9 J; E. ]* V* i              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
' v9 [9 h" e( K              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
) D, Y% a# \% W8 h' D4 q1 w* }6 eHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
             somehow I lost myself inside again
Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
# A2 L$ R: _; |7 Q" M3 X             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
1 Z6 i2 D' k$ s  w               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
( {) G+ n: ?  q. ^But........         
% h6 c0 u- T7 P" x; t/ z. FIronically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”
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! m$ @6 R; N$ E/ w: t) C卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？
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Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
9 `/ g. x( k, ^/ O- C6 a, m) _Somehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
. Y& G3 @9 {" O6 O4 P+ ?Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
" z. r9 W5 C0 u5 [- Z- l/ s. gSomehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness
6 J- B  L7 |% d8 d( C& Q6 j- a
Somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
" P6 U0 r5 C$ V- q. ^Somehow I lost myself inside it again
+ @" l5 `5 x5 M' {! x4 t
* ~% O1 Q; I, g1 [9 i5 \5 fSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Somehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
! m" e/ X0 f& Z: n  wSomehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
================================================
. r( Y; {1 l- d7 |1 v( lHowever, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday
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+ P4 X5 \3 _  h9 L! y% _: n% Ksomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
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somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
5 r) G2 n6 X( k. T: p  }) M我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

$ c. M0 s# n5 m8 s) J哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？