请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
- q' l6 O; q- J7 f, q& l$ dBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
0 b# \. _. c1 q8 O8 ]However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
7 Z* H: h+ E4 y+ n, DThanks a lot!!!

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9 b: _7 y5 U4 |" W* A0 q6 d


Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
9 D  C: t" \! M, f              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
* O  t% M2 Q* r8 p7 w, p2 f5 O              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
. B+ g' x# h: D( |5 [7 Z              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
2 j- V. L  I  [7 k: w+ hHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
9 T9 X7 p- H# I+ K             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
             somehow I lost myself inside again
Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
( ]& P# n7 M  N& Y+ Q# t             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
" V) s0 s" H0 _0 X- o/ QBasically, I almost finish this poem
( T' m( P) F" O& L" F2 H0 L               I am 一个人de精彩
! h) ~! a' B9 y- ]' W               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
# N: [8 f! K9 fBut........         
Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
- _  T7 P$ T! I) G' RSomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
! P9 R2 y/ i1 \Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness
1 ], @3 M6 X; Y0 C# ]4 M
( A7 d7 A+ q7 b* m  kSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
: `6 V5 S& W5 `9 ISomehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
Somehow I lost myself inside it again
7 f7 j. G5 d; G/ s7 a# h/ F4 S
1 j5 t0 ]2 G; g$ B. X5 uSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
& j( _: _; b  Z- W6 p5 DSomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
9 ?+ {4 I9 G+ d, u0 d! c  i* u0 @Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
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However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
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somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

$ c9 D1 b6 I+ f* l4 I哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？