 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|

/ V5 z$ O' A2 g) O9 {' G+ K( Z% u" f7 |9 D
Why did God make mothers?- S" i j& z; f# d* \2 J, a# C
) j3 G9 R% y& P" U3 O Q+ z" x- g7 c
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
/ @4 X6 U U* [- r1 d6 }2. Mostly to clean the house.
6 B4 T8 e6 T; F+ [& z3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. ' a. r N" P1 H1 }% T$ N
# q, Q+ X) u1 }' f- f6 z
How did God make mothers? ! Z' D* I& q% b: ~
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
7 O Z( X# c6 p7 B2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 0 t6 \( m' M. j+ q# F# o p+ j
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. ) U" U% v0 `% d7 W9 g
& L' C) Q# a) z% SWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
7 u* [$ K" n' a* x6 I5 T& q+ g1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
, f5 g, U" o" h: D8 E0 h# m3 L7 J2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. + b6 j* R* B+ e W& V0 ~2 A. ?4 f) a
: @# K! F0 [; u- e$ HWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 8 w9 }: Y/ u2 c) G/ ~
1. We're related.) x% {" s( W3 I+ R& C* W7 R
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 3 m/ t4 H6 ~ Y
( @0 F* O3 f$ E" ]9 K: Y
What kind of little girl was your mom? 7 k9 I- P% j9 x8 K) ^
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
& U s0 P) y& J6 \2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. & v$ a& q# _0 ]3 y: k4 s
3. They say she used to be nice.
! P I9 R$ x! N% G x2 d$ P. o7 U, A
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? " J. i1 @( s, N
1. His last name.
0 T) b( e" e! }2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3 f& c) U; L% C2 F6 T3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? + ]+ r$ | F$ E0 @. R7 J+ ?$ W
/ x6 v* A0 Q2 I( E6 YWhy did your mom marry your dad?
: t* V' ^' E+ ~9 G( Y0 ?1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. ' S- B4 Y3 H" K+ n. C2 m. A& l
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
8 j7 _1 U* [7 x& c) C3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. * \. M& V: z% @+ C& o$ p
% {3 ^- P' p( _/ ]8 p
Who's the boss at your house?
* y- O: E; K" L, |1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
- X* m' J: d3 |9 P* e( S2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.0 `" b% w/ X# o" T
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ) U1 l+ c" K+ n! W4 E
3 s% M: }4 Y9 N# ?/ D; qWhat's the difference between moms & dads? / H5 e: D. D4 ^
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. + i6 ?3 G' u& P% D8 ^ R& b
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.4 r& Z, g9 t; Q$ @5 `1 y/ [& z" t
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
" N. Q1 i+ i% ?( d( v4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. ! c6 h! \ ^& I
+ ?1 b7 d! Y2 s
What does your mom do in her spare time?
( `0 o/ [" [8 O f) `' W6 X/ u2 b1. Mothers don't do spare time.9 a9 H% K2 ^" }6 I5 V; v
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. # P8 Z% ^ w" I( x8 m. ]
& X5 s% n+ n2 r( J& R- mWhat would it take to make your mom perfect? 8 ?/ |8 n0 r$ b3 H. w% r
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
1 A F' Q7 \, i. m0 H2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
* i$ a! d, m( F) J9 G4 c8 W0 u& Z
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 6 a( \4 d5 X3 d% w# x; x: s
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
* {+ B3 J2 x9 M& y2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
; U: `8 n7 ?4 W! \. V& o3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
+ T9 {/ t& `9 Q7 C. D8 y |
|
|