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Why did God make mothers?: e8 v! W9 q" p) F
/ E; Y2 f6 a. Z R: ~1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.( f7 a2 x+ ~& s+ T
2. Mostly to clean the house. / b* _: Z" }; r* V" D$ w
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. ) v2 J$ H, p- C$ W# S8 G. V
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How did God make mothers? 9 q: b* p0 ~4 H
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.! b# w* F7 y8 E" C' ^5 B
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
5 O4 F1 ]" r2 a3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 5 ^7 i$ @* s- g+ J4 n
: h9 k* z; F' t$ T; u& wWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? ! l$ N4 u) p/ G M, i
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. n! f% \% V3 O% f' W
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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+ H3 m' P6 z! L7 q* BWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
# e+ m \+ O, v$ p$ O G$ i* g1. We're related.2 _( j/ a' q+ [: ?
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. ; Y7 W# K, Q! L5 A$ N, | I8 c
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What kind of little girl was your mom? 3 N% @+ s' s. ?6 Z! P
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. $ w5 A. B6 L) M) o2 [6 J
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
# v, h# R0 C% J; R& Q7 q+ Q8 z8 j3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 3 }, j! L* w" L" A' X7 Q( f# i$ W
1. His last name.
8 H" H6 G9 u. A6 s; L# C8 Z+ O2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
. q4 s" A$ M/ s; k3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 0 R. Z1 Y2 h: \7 U u' S4 `* K
' D: l+ W+ L a# x' fWhy did your mom marry your dad? / k* r- F( [' ?5 F( V. [2 T8 V
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
" g5 X9 ^) @$ L9 }* ^! R3 V9 v2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
], }! Z4 H; T8 b& o- K, l7 L3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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2 Q9 V% e) u0 }Who's the boss at your house?
0 F: q3 {9 Q1 Y3 R) Y1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2 h$ z( W4 r \/ F& y2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
7 g7 v4 B2 A/ ]3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
$ } j: y/ D- z5 I9 n1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
, @4 N( Q( y/ ^4 S7 y3 a7 d6 A' n2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. {, [; L+ _' X3 c7 w
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
) I- \! e8 B0 ~4 o9 a0 X4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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# V) q5 u; \% G4 o' bWhat does your mom do in her spare time? 8 h6 I3 h. n9 K t, Q2 L
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
, g1 @* ~+ ~& y1 E9 D, C2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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% T; z" J( q/ g/ l) x+ JWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
& `+ a: q8 E. P; x1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.# p, |' D- A- z& u
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 7 a. h$ y- B0 j+ k. s) c; b
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. . t! M6 s4 j8 T% L# g. V
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.* B) r o5 l9 W* s4 Z. }! x) v
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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