 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 |3 }$ \" W* I# T) C' }8 s# _
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.) s4 k3 v- g6 R6 r3 b: B; p
) F5 Y& m. ]) z: P( Y- K( Y3 SWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 _" R [ {% e% U# c9 X! c
" m ] K" l2 D2 w; aIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.' a+ a0 p+ o4 ^: [4 X
4 `8 W" F2 a* T- S6 CLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
3 x9 y% r' _- Z5 Gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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& }( n5 e6 D* O, S( w( [Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 i; C8 i" L$ J
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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7 \& x$ g" m; {* }8 j; _, ~! dWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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$ o1 ]3 S* `) e a3 Z: i9 BWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ) n1 S. a% y" Q& D% L+ ]
- m' Y: B/ j5 T& `% V! URinse conditioner off hair.: x7 @# j. d' J+ I
, _+ Y; C! e' `$ U! {Shave armpits and legs.% C& {. k/ e$ z6 T) k6 W
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! s# n" u9 F2 l5 I$ X
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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m7 w# m& D A( `0 B) [" q# |Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. . e: S0 w+ E( L0 e8 `3 [0 y: Z: V
# g' G% J" ~- @0 FReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ B$ Z7 s6 N$ x! y2 `
" m3 }. Y! R' {. UIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. / u8 q2 c7 ?3 R1 M. X
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ! ~( X* \4 _5 |+ n& Q2 x8 C* K7 v
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 3 Q0 g0 t" M1 B6 ^* L
9 `3 b/ W4 W+ u* FWalk naked to the bathroom.
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9 K8 U' ?- N3 f N$ K: I, M7 A0 v* K# BIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % c4 s# _8 J. Q! }3 k+ X
: h* Q$ m! L6 D) n% j, e( hLook at your manly physique in the mirror. $ h/ g# p4 }0 C* ~
( F0 m1 A- s) }& n* dAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. : c' D+ V! q; h. U3 g2 c
+ }& o2 k! @. w c: @6 GGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 [) h! f! g" }+ j
( x3 B& y1 w" d% o. n+ l ?; rBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 G+ J& s- N% C0 V
' m, ]1 e7 y1 L4 l# sFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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- `/ n' U9 o9 n0 Y6 s' `Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , e) \2 @+ Y8 e
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. & u: M7 c0 |0 M/ v" C3 a
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. , N- L; o) {9 W" l6 o1 ?
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Pee. , @7 h) K6 S9 r( I6 h9 {
, p9 P! B0 z7 ARinse off and get out of shower. ) s5 y) \; Q/ z9 g2 e* `8 y; j& V% g
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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4 ]% Q8 A+ r1 Z& iAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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l8 z: ]) Z- X7 C* R) mThrow wet towel on bed. & N4 t$ F% A/ ?
9 _) e1 [& m5 }4 N* ^5 O x( JIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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