 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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7 G8 s8 w" ^) @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ r" X( g. v; [! E; Q- {/ \
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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# ^$ B0 |1 I" HIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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% b! |2 b8 E7 I, G' RLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- " A& H( u w) Q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 M+ L5 M+ ]" o ~, R
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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T0 _5 X# ]& W* K, w8 VWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # M' U1 l z8 @# W
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ a$ d) j5 r: r, ~
& O3 Z, Y' @$ f. `. q; pCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..5 m; W! x4 b8 }; `
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair., C- E) w8 ^' L; N/ Q4 v8 p2 i
" k8 c5 J& R; g5 ^! V2 NShave armpits and legs.
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' b) L* u3 z" rTurn off shower.: |+ P# m( |# F c' L y
9 B3 S4 T5 s$ d' X0 YSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.% A4 ^& M3 v0 c) ^4 a
. j0 K. o, ?$ _/ d5 h0 S! iSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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% B4 V6 L% u0 j% tWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + M" Q( {/ l4 l6 b5 w! d, R/ Q; `
5 {4 I* D C3 G+ h: A! [8 gTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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3 U& f. N4 j. ?Walk naked to the bathroom.! t% H k" t* R4 G, s6 B- z9 _ N
, k# W4 y5 `& s' e6 |3 y# ]If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. + E$ Y6 C, v/ C# P
# a! T: ?! y) AAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + x( C+ Z% z7 d* h4 T
7 [# q, M! }; n3 ]Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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$ ]+ a* ~. C+ S+ e6 NFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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7 _, x A' ?' W6 ^ O: ]9 R# mSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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- y0 D; T1 N+ NWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 6 r. p f Y) `( q. l
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 b/ u3 \- w& n9 _% X7 g- |
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 1 O0 \# U+ z% T, |/ E7 B% X! U/ p2 y" J
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Partially dry off.
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" m- t( m$ c! H A# W1 K8 fFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. , U* j7 O+ f, E, n0 x
4 M; Z2 z2 g4 Q( U( H' ^Admire wiener size in mirror again. - Q, N0 L" S0 w
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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5 [0 v/ n- K) h. v- p+ fReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 7 [1 G; K% ?' a: d( Q
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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