 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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$ p" B# p, w9 s# r5 M+ lTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- ], w; I2 Q7 U9 h! E! i% s
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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4 Y( ]% O% [' ?( x6 r; Q' fIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas." T6 Y L+ D' b( }7 b
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # S2 J5 }; h# F6 @* k8 j1 {" v7 d7 q+ X
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.1 e4 K {. y" s9 B3 K
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ' h$ t+ z8 \* _
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( g; s' T& o. ?7 ]0 f# O1 @/ f: ^1 I
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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5 R+ p! h' ? j5 }Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 7 y0 E# B" y8 s+ N0 x k1 i! ~
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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; j V+ H; X# d8 m, TRinse conditioner off hair.
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* |, H _# z9 @! F& A' X e" I0 AShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 q W+ }" v ]9 [$ d
4 A( |! v& `( j7 o ZSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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3 Y$ N5 R# q# uGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ! \0 J( f: R4 ~$ `) d" D4 A
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 8 C1 B9 X" G* z: H9 I
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ) ?! W/ [; Z! ]+ _* n* w
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 u3 Q! z" z" x
$ s# L2 b; _) SWalk naked to the bathroom.
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7 C) o3 r" H, p$ WIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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! q0 }* j' @1 a& _Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' j) F9 e; @& q
3 a: r! ] i( ^Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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1 E: Z5 f2 z% wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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( A2 E6 w+ I5 bSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; o b: O( b5 G8 u& ~
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. + u/ M; ]4 i/ V3 J @0 }
+ R; V( W2 \! [8 K; F. ]/ yPartially dry off.5 A, D/ P/ x8 W; k# y( u: s
+ b$ h# u( D0 r1 T8 [+ vFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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4 {5 g0 k% F( ^5 jAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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% x0 F2 k4 C& @" c, p4 VLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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: c# H$ ~! e, ~7 N* J% RReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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5 j, D9 V2 o- z. `5 h: CThrow wet towel on bed. ; {& f% E1 r4 B2 g& Z
4 x6 [. t* h1 U# y- @0 zIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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