 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 0 P) Q0 g* W$ o' T8 o) i
( M& s8 B+ Q( y# |7 Z6 N; t6 d4 L/ T9 ^
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------& E' e6 D7 I1 b" J
# R' L: i0 J. z! g: j
4 T1 P- x5 E% v: y/ d
- A+ s: t; s8 K8 |- `% S
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
1 i5 i6 V9 |: Z1 s h7 `( C
+ q% b! L6 ~- I# UWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! O/ [# q, k. z q% q `) O6 I( o
: m/ G/ x, }* w9 Q2 v
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- w# r! ^9 \% a
/ t. }9 ~- n) m' D/ E) wLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 7 r8 X% b7 t2 c) Y: O0 [
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
, ~, |: w" W( z; H# E+ I5 ?, k0 y
- @' G2 f! x! w$ f) zGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 1 [; [4 `; M$ c" j9 G" [2 L
3 {. e: v& u2 W2 e3 xWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " H, N9 z. g: o, @3 x' A
1 z3 C! | b) \, E" J( T% aWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
; Y1 F3 W* h z
7 }* [: e6 l. U# h) V# g( x& hCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
$ X) Q' ^+ |* i4 L; X) C* j# a$ ?9 i! [! d6 @' @, H( R& Y s7 W
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9 b3 a7 _" k o3 K+ p) v$ i; u- J3 ?$ t9 B$ H
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ W% c) Z4 }% @: K _
7 a7 o' n9 q; R2 \3 q4 X
Rinse conditioner off hair./ o2 l8 p% @! a4 S3 ]
8 z# Q* S3 R9 E: x
Shave armpits and legs.% ~5 v% t3 h/ s6 ^8 x0 @! c
0 ^0 g c8 L% M# sTurn off shower. {- K# {* {4 l" q
; X: C& u& T# Z0 C/ h3 a4 A
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
2 Y3 d: p8 s) i' Y% g' B9 l2 p. U' g) ?+ E2 A1 ^ y
Spray mold spots with Tilex. % h: i' V6 P1 ]; N q
9 j. d% z3 l5 r) Z3 P% P8 OGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
. |/ C h8 [% F0 a2 A5 ^! @4 { W9 F+ D: l
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. + H& ~: C0 S* t' D9 m3 K
1 f$ {. p8 C! O% h# V% gReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
% F: [$ B X6 u2 t0 J
% D- H. G1 O YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ x# X1 A) H2 ]. h) `9 J) k& n2 |2 Q; Y/ o9 Y$ ?+ e
- f5 J5 a, i4 `8 RHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * |* ~" c$ G7 z# e2 M: s
- F' i# W# c0 F9 X( u( u
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
( q& N1 A8 L+ O3 u! F( Y
2 h! s) ^* ~+ k2 `% I# nWalk naked to the bathroom.
7 Z s4 Z% u" W# G
+ `) x. Z# }4 H7 o9 K: `1 [If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ V: q2 N& j/ L( |& S% W/ X
1 [$ Y6 s$ k" B& Y
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
1 w9 F1 H! X1 V3 K- u' }9 I( x P& |
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 M5 B- h2 U7 T7 C" }
# p" n. j1 g* h! }; A$ e! qGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 v2 z3 K8 f+ P& y& w6 T
. h8 W$ Z9 W y" [" DBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 9 x4 ^7 D g* O' e* {
& T- f3 S( r- W% N+ eFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
6 \( g( G$ L: M" Z) X0 n$ z
' l$ a1 V% ]& `# k. RSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
" `* V0 F: M* t) m& T6 q' ?" k5 [1 h* @3 |+ T8 ]0 I
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ! @: f' r. |0 `# e
* P! y9 i8 Z3 P% g0 v2 D, `
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
0 s' r( _3 O% n* F, O+ K$ m, ~2 M6 m( {8 _' W+ Y6 U/ D8 i
Pee. $ a# a3 W3 q; S5 d
+ T O% D6 ~; c4 D& u8 ^Rinse off and get out of shower.
4 g- m. l. E0 E! A7 ]3 u
0 q8 v6 _/ c% w: g8 EPartially dry off.
: Q: b' w+ l8 }( W- \' {$ G" B8 V8 \+ b% C5 _; h( r6 E8 l' v- H
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
0 U$ g2 Y5 Y# x# N* o0 w4 P. ?! Y' c2 B
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
* F, Z& }. D4 t6 B9 ~/ \: v6 O9 @2 J0 C z! M) c: o
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
5 J8 c! @$ x9 O0 V) ~9 Q' T8 r4 z, {( O; @
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
; r' A7 e6 M: V o+ i5 j) _7 C
; A1 H# L5 Q, P8 xThrow wet towel on bed.
6 D5 @1 j- ~: W( Y9 ~ E6 E1 S8 F U. m- M5 h7 ?5 x- K
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|