 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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2 H: t8 ]6 A/ uTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; v! T' F+ p0 ?* S2 M3 _, d
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. . q/ a+ L$ s' ^' v) S
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* u9 z7 } Y! x% Tmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 i5 u/ }2 }* `5 z0 g
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Q5 I2 a/ Z$ Y" e8 }0 B3 E3 Q
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 U7 S+ A( o6 B! i" R1 Q/ t
( \/ v' b9 Y. ^Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* f; ?3 j* A: T% ~- z
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..( I8 `* ?5 h+ L2 L
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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' w0 u# \8 t2 \% l' @Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 7 h8 D0 w, x' U* V- w$ {3 j
8 {1 q% U; ^1 p) ]5 Y5 T5 tRinse conditioner off hair.
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5 U/ J8 R! h& x- h) @3 cShave armpits and legs.$ {# O5 a$ p' c' w; U) O; M, c
" G2 n3 O9 Y& M VTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.: p7 x! y' A) ^/ r: Q$ _! y9 y
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. % o8 C5 o6 F a+ o4 h
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; s+ e. F- t& j$ }! x
, L6 E, N6 o* ]3 X8 r7 _Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. # Q. s7 V3 K7 A) d0 z' @$ ?
8 b1 Y1 w @ k; X# y5 s# T, OReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 9 S4 m. w0 S( ^
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" L/ ~6 N! S' I2 zHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: T0 d4 A/ e4 ]" C; t7 ]5 V
# c" |8 t! h2 ^& P8 uTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % K) g0 ~; X& A- A6 A
0 Z' g: z! {' M: j" \3 o( iWalk naked to the bathroom.. o5 {& ?# q B* F: Z
) \" D" Q" q8 y4 I+ C, j$ NIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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' W$ W S! r6 iGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 C0 D4 `' W% J; h& X% F' n: n7 r
: G/ c, `+ P4 s5 s* Q3 `* q% @2 |' CBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * O' x( Q" E3 x' d
9 L. Z, R0 [. fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 4 z% M8 A% j/ i' F
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. " k: M& t; V( k, Y; x7 s
; o1 O8 c1 Q2 B. ~$ { D ~Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.& r1 ~9 L/ P- |7 [ C
* T. y, t) R7 P7 u C/ uFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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3 F) t9 M( i; t9 V0 IAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 7 s5 q/ r9 X D! c0 V& q
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 y2 X+ m, J, w' O) |1 R" S0 @
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 }# Q3 s% o! c; Y3 r7 G) G
' @3 h. v! C/ Y! dThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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