Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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2 Q0 q7 M1 K6 S+ S" F5 R) Y" y> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
# S4 k, k9 _+ B) J& r3 E5 x' ^> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
7 o7 o1 J, b" D> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
6 I, m8 g. f! d+ Q>thinking."
2 G; ^1 }2 B/ h> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
$ ~# L- y* |! y, |, B3 _> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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* R% s# z2 k1 Q: P, b3 ?# B  \> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
6 O7 Y6 x7 G- k>cream.
* _3 z4 |, l; t1 T3 D3 L9 Q> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >
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- \7 Y) l% h5 B8 X8 I/ a> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
) n% G; H# b+ v* F- g& t' R7 ]> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
( B7 g3 l  C* Y3 @> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
! ~8 ]3 h- m- B" k9 J> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
* Q) P7 E: z) Q# s# q* t> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
# O5 i) p+ D# h) v3 \> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
8 ~, j* [& J( R8 ^6 G! ]> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
2 Z& Y% S% C1 H7 e& j1 D, @> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
( z- I. ^. Y2 G> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
* A8 ~* \* `, H; A> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
( t( q6 K3 |$ ^# M> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
" ~" N( `& a+ X& g. b! F> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
' F& Q- W1 m0 v> > > >allow
9 H9 k) Z2 L( Y1 k: T> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
; F( M" B! l& E$ e( x5 N- v1 k5 V5 C& O> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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4 t+ d" a+ M* M$ B  c> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
; Q, a! Z7 Z  d9 H' }# S> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
9 l( G+ v6 D" {* G> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
. M2 V) X3 V1 |4 K( Q3 Q> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
% J7 N# U' z' a: s5 I" k) C" a6 o> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
' p2 j% i  K9 i, @> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
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9 h, o1 k/ q" J" }> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
3 `/ z7 ]/ i; z( S4 n> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business