Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
3 F2 l; ]3 X5 K6 R8 i/ F- A> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
$ P. Q8 J% D6 U& e> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
% o/ k- m, f( B" `& Z; q>thinking."
4 t& a& ?. t6 m( H> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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2 t9 D. A+ h+ `: C6 a8 _> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
& n7 o( j, ?" x. O; c( g> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
0 O- W6 L' W5 X5 x2 b+ a> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
8 v7 ?, P5 ^5 c- Y> > > >"That's what I said!"
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5 `" F9 a0 I, {# c5 H. \. I> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
2 b: y) k0 k) {/ f$ L> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
1 i! D! k3 X8 O3 V> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
1 }2 e+ G  I: U* r- s- w9 x/ O> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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% V( |5 C  z* a$ a5 _" `> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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% S" t$ n1 u8 r# f> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
0 `  ?) p- P: r, x3 H* l0 D& _" f> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
! O' b1 Q( |0 Q) C* I: s> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
( `! u3 G* g: l0 \9 C: ]> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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) b1 y! K4 p9 ^8 C) q# l( W> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
4 R! l' |) k  z; j* a1 F> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
4 _4 F' |& x, ]> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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% ]! V* M  ]) W7 Y4 b> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
1 m, q9 |3 D. g5 O  T. c$ b* G> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
1 }) C% v% K0 j. P> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business