Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:

' Q4 k, O$ A  n1 l1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
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: }  n$ L  |4 w9 j' d! f2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

' y; v3 _' ^* `2 z2 P6 [+ U' s; ^' E3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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  q6 Y7 T# K  [, f& N% {: V4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

# W. a  c3 |2 b2 z7 E, f/ T7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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0 h9 a% k( W- H9 l8. I pay your salary!

7 e, F/ p6 M$ ^( `9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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2 }" [: l3 I4 F; L10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

/ Z( F" h& _! R/ e11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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2 \5 `" L, _  ~* k3 R. H0 E" ^& F12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"