 鲜花( 77)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Blonde Car Accident
x6 t4 V1 ~' ]$ l( N. N1 iOne day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.9 ^- o# N/ A# ?+ h+ @
. O, o* J8 G6 q8 |1 i3 n! _The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
1 F: e& t2 d% v0 n0 m$ ?1 N5 T& a2 K+ K; L) H
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
H' r+ i0 D+ A4 `) l4 w9 I" v: h! K. `. P4 z7 M
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
% |" Y, R' B4 |) `! L1 j4 s u; l8 D- L, _
The blonde started laughing.! F6 n" ~- t, j9 H# I; R6 Z( Q
6 i5 E$ f8 k; N9 Y |3 m9 U UThis made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
8 L5 {; V$ w+ R: Y6 z# }: J' X( e# D( G+ b& f4 c
This time the blonde laughed even harder./ V A' r) q$ s1 H, y0 C! s* T1 R% \
' K! W* ~8 Z$ ]9 W; o$ z. J' {Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.4 c% e2 d8 |2 N+ q# M1 o% z
6 j+ K# ~; @0 `
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.0 R' D2 w3 t8 r; Z5 w* ~% k
; A. h: t7 ?5 t* A; F5 p0 P
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
. ^* D+ W4 d3 G ]2 p/ h% j
+ g6 z: \+ I/ L/ Q9 g) CRowing Your Boat/ r& _# b9 `* o# l9 N: Y$ [
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
! p! h" ~1 f; g1 J4 d6 C- X8 Y; Z% N j9 z
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
, ]1 G- M& N4 p) u+ ^% P3 k5 L9 X5 F% v- H2 h- G1 X
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
5 U: f, M1 ^7 S; T; @* w
4 m; I$ Y4 ^0 }+ L5 @% C4 KI Want to Buy That
7 L0 }5 L0 m3 r) R& sA blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
+ `" ^: P" i# }4 d
" `% g$ m, j, ZThe clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.5 o* p( }* k1 ?, L) ^- Y3 ?
' o+ X t( V' M* h8 Q6 fThe next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.* O* ]* L6 P. Y0 ~
# D. q- Y+ x; U9 hFrustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
* |! g5 I% k8 P$ b9 y* C9 a( r u2 _6 D. T) r( y9 y, R1 r
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.$ Q4 }, g G d7 I& K4 b w
, B. u5 w3 ]4 y7 |" g; e/ ETo her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
0 l+ {2 ]& u8 G. I7 R$ C* A% w- z
* b' r- Z1 y- k& C/ B5 Y* u" ^ i, IThe blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" a3 q7 v9 ~& `* T
3 _# K# m* b& Z/ F# m
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
! C" n. Z1 C: {. W* S0 g! S& m$ L. J
Are You Really Sure?
. e' N$ @7 n4 H8 S" ~8 o. W/ b7 w( b( PA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
( U8 R' B) P- |$ b' F+ q4 ?! q8 o9 K' J# X; e( h" k( f2 ^
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
/ S0 c! z0 T9 H4 g' T. H
( S" @4 T! f1 H3 u$ C2 E8 p2 ^Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
# D6 n' }/ N0 U4 g7 A, A# {, P3 ]" Q' V4 v4 j
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.") d/ K. L/ S- z! L
: _0 m6 S3 ?" b) H% K) }7 G. p
Blonde Sky Divers( X6 C- _9 r* [6 w0 ]
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.' n% ~; X' V1 i- T6 R
( T/ T# c2 Z$ z/ Z9 @1 o- |' `: C
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
, [8 d- F. Z9 Q% t& p$ {
2 G$ q( w8 i! Q4 u9 wShe pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
2 ]9 N! G6 J ~. }$ W6 }. B/ x( S8 k/ n, k& {4 j
The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"6 z& W6 H( T, n5 _1 v$ J
6 F" w8 J0 b0 W" I$ E( R! r
[ 本帖最后由 Xbfeng 于 2008-10-7 13:31 编辑 ] |
|