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' p; E1 ?! F l W8 C5 i$ _4 I' YCEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
- n6 U1 e& t+ i) x5 K) KCFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
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BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
) [! q; e9 j+ H& Q* Z. G% L3 RBEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. , ?; G" }* g0 u; A. ~% U. N
& b# Y6 p1 I: V+ c' KVALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. 8 v/ q) [( J' ^
# c! Y$ Z" k* wP/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
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BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
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+ Q; ^, t B) E9 n% ]2 q# z1 T4 mSTANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
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STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
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STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
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FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. 3 d% z6 n) ?* [; I7 x$ b; i
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MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
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0 J' L7 ` [: h% |7 u( PCASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
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# t2 i; }/ h: Z% x& f* QYAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
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& b+ g. c& U7 NWINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. . Y2 }3 w, K" \* \, p) E( m
+ E2 J' N) e$ h( cPROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
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If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.
6 i0 _- Y; q* pWith Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.
# m3 x3 p1 M) m- e7 SWith AIG, you would have less than $15 left.9 n; h7 j o0 h$ u% W$ z2 v
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash.
7 N0 P! N6 }. LBased on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
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What is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon? 1 |- L1 E# P6 O2 }) l) F
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A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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( P1 m) i1 b% c! @Politicians and diapers have one thing in common...
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+ V& w' W; V; g+ C5 w ...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
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