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CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
* t1 Z5 F! ?( v* OCFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. 0 T# D3 _; m8 u9 Y* s7 Y1 [
5 @8 I8 n9 m4 \5 c9 o, b& TBULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
6 l. h' r; b. Y' }BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. 4 }4 H$ d$ X0 `
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VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
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; A" N" Q5 M K+ F' J8 ?P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. * S3 M, B3 c+ z1 c
7 U' o! S- o4 y* a# RBROKER -- What my broker has made me. . P5 x! Z) f1 `) ]
( K. _) ]4 ?9 N% x8 fSTANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. 2 {7 y# L$ V8 H$ C& F) V) y7 u
# i$ \5 G- E: M; N1 zSTOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
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+ n/ _6 `+ Z: I5 a* vSTOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. 9 S* `+ R9 u4 q( |* N: R
: E- L. v% W, h& _0 d: G. hFINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. 4 D* w% m9 D4 {8 ]( c# N! }' _
. {% d" ?9 B8 B, G3 e1 OMARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. 5 U1 l' U2 @+ Z' h( V
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CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. 6 A! ]1 j8 N) a5 w# Y
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YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
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7 w7 \6 U! Z+ IWINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
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6 Q0 ]& x# G1 r$ G4 h' W- ~5 sPROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
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If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.
% M( T3 r) I4 q3 ]" l* B7 m; MWith Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.5 z( s. [3 ]& J- C3 v. ]% r
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.
* Y, ~( u$ C. `+ I8 l3 qBut, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. * i- A; Q. w6 t5 l6 C) y @" o, \
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.& _8 A2 L( A$ B. {: M7 ]
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What is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon? ( w# D" p$ S, Y0 B& O- _3 ]( s$ ^3 w( a
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A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.1 L- H, b+ D7 _9 n* X, }
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/ h s. j2 u1 S& Q. u" n( zPoliticians and diapers have one thing in common... 4 K3 R9 V, k8 _4 O+ s
, @( n. }- [8 R: T( U% P; z ...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
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