 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
' t3 ^; V8 O: J$ i- z4 VCEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer. " L$ k- E1 ~+ i- Q+ h* V+ W
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
! o8 }- [" j5 @$ M B) b: t3 S+ {1 M& K
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. 3 z2 E" W& V& o% s
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
6 ~7 V% T# u4 K( F0 \' Y: j7 [
, b! H5 Y) F U2 D" uVALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. 6 S: K/ a; H7 u' V" l8 ^0 H
- v, s/ m, h3 e/ B# y; vP/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
8 p8 C1 E: ]% F- W
4 g# f/ W9 @! u. vBROKER -- What my broker has made me.
, d, U1 ~, q' q$ n: s! X
9 {/ V2 S# n7 G' g5 n7 p) r& lSTANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
( i, N* G: y# H. g7 D/ w2 D9 g* E
! v+ j# p1 U8 D! C/ wSTOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. ^# s% p/ k; F* C7 v
) \( `# Z. z+ g
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
; C0 u; U( Z# E2 \6 [9 d# K) @3 v2 U% f, q/ p" ~) F! F
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. ' n, T3 ]$ m R9 h* m2 R, d
* i- B! }& B6 o) \0 {. t. g1 x
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. 2 X# t3 I4 Q- `* B: ]: x
( X7 B2 D4 P* A$ gCASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. 3 R3 Z+ E; e& M) x8 G; k/ u
, {) S- z. A# ?% ?9 R1 F
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
3 `" q, U K0 }6 ?2 C6 Z7 [, r4 [( \/ R% L5 B$ N. V
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.$ V; E' L4 o+ }1 Z9 G
9 b$ v$ M' u8 H v7 P. l
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
5 l- i o1 L/ W% _4 e5 q: v7 W8 D* N7 K
PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.1 k7 n3 n' d- c1 z: G" }4 q* H
# M/ _9 h# x* {6 k" ]! f``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` _6 A q" m* F+ a2 h
If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.
) r( \3 N4 i6 i1 TWith Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.
+ R/ x# M2 `+ I5 q) B0 b7 F8 mWith AIG, you would have less than $15 left.
\# G: \ Q3 H( I: OBut, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. y+ J' [# H& Q; ? T6 w; [
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
- E+ }) _# |6 i1 K+ o) C ' }" ~# T5 X1 R2 J8 m; q, k
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````+ D7 V) H" D- p9 y
% m+ ^2 i% u- m7 OWhat is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon?
$ e- X/ l& n% W9 d+ o3 e) `4 ~% X+ X7 V. o
A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
$ \& t1 ~& Q7 F: p0 t" K0 w: R
9 H, Y, p, M8 Q) m6 `) j W9 _``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````0 D& Z& H8 v: t
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common... $ o0 i: u- k1 V
1 |1 |( T6 j- o: d
...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
楼主
