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CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
3 z, ?0 y! f5 W/ y, g6 ~( KCFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
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5 ?3 P+ {& j2 QBULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. & p- i0 o7 v' ]. _
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. + U' G2 y* A- ?! ?
* ?* g; c3 B) a+ T( bVALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. 5 U. B8 A1 f3 d: \, l+ Z3 E
8 i6 z1 c) C" k+ O+ ~P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. # X/ | G- f1 ` J
. Y- r% {8 T; V6 I6 dBROKER -- What my broker has made me.
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STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
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STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
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STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
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FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
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MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
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, @- ^2 ~1 Z" C6 X! ?2 ?0 ACASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. - @- A4 b& J# V0 A' ^3 B
1 ^- r% D; O1 `- b1 ~YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
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WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. d* |7 W( C7 M5 I
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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
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5 ]2 y1 R+ g% I* I w0 ~# }$ o4 sPROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use./ P3 b8 _; r, p7 F; }( |
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If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.; T& v2 k: D4 f; i* ~
With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000." o; M& ^7 i# S) n5 p- S! h( L
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.
+ k9 ]* w8 L$ Z9 w+ V! U' t5 q1 ] mBut, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. " P. p. a4 j* ~ y4 }! P, K
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
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What is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon? ( u! x, E- H0 n
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A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.3 O9 W$ R: }9 Y4 T
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7 \* O {# u# u0 c0 K$ ~4 ` X' xPoliticians and diapers have one thing in common... 8 l1 K; U4 D" w: H: {& D/ D$ y7 J
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...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
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