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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol) G. o0 e @7 M G# V1 N& w( E
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# I! c3 ~4 G; F4 b9 n$ x; h; DThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:1 E# G! M7 b8 _% l# K0 a Z7 J: N) J
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.8 q$ V% j# }, t' g: c, ^
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.: G2 x! s8 k* i" L& N8 C" m
! m. D4 p1 C, H5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away., V, r' C# f- [. n. i2 |7 C
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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0 N }0 e* N" }2 r% E' W7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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* q1 h6 T @/ ~" A$ `6 ?& I; S11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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- w4 l' N0 z8 M; ?$ M13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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! P: S2 p" J: O* |) RAnd; last, but not least!)
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