 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol3 n/ b0 l! ?0 }: R. |) H, B( F" Y
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. M+ G( P2 B+ FThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:; D# t3 P6 a. S8 i: e* f/ O
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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9 \+ R/ i4 t7 S7 `2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals., k4 |, k/ j N! e) e1 P
5 m- V* q4 m5 j3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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/ N1 k& Z% u/ l) J5 Z+ t- B4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.# ?; P3 P F& p% R4 E; E
0 S! a4 s" J3 B' p4 o5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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4 ?5 k# y7 r( R2 ^6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area! M# _- q5 {& y- U/ M+ y C
( R2 L7 S* ]& q- J+ H+ l Q$ L7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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6 S$ h6 B9 ]2 @4 Z% k8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask! O {% z/ W7 w/ \- R( R. j
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose." |. k" X6 t$ L. M. [
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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# }; S( a/ D0 b4 e8 j% E& P' M11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.; D2 h" B# _6 P$ [
) q0 P' m; |1 p8 v3 N12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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7 Q2 C& c$ q6 X+ `; n0 L: }# `: v13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!, |" W. M1 m7 B2 K3 `
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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4 }" r0 y; C0 ?9 o" ]7 yAnd; last, but not least!)& a$ p! H, z) M) z2 i
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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