 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol# j0 ]/ E6 E" G. W2 w! e" S/ i
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:9 v* {( ?! H Z9 u9 B# X
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.4 s% O8 x/ ~$ s
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.( n) H; p" j9 k$ ~4 C; z% U! @
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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+ L3 `9 K7 x, _* a% X4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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- A* d) \) y/ H, P# N( l; i! ? |" {5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. b* f# A0 l/ C; x Y
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6 M0 H, D1 x0 F. c6 V. R8 X6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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2 D9 }7 E: c- n& F7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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7 h$ v' ^5 o4 P8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
' h4 u+ t l! l p, w& i( Y/ `'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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: \* M9 p& Y! M, n5 B11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.. J4 }4 m8 I; u
$ W. b( V) f6 G: F12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.+ {; b# Q4 N9 L W: W
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!, Y5 V7 |/ T! }& ^7 f3 u
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And; last, but not least!)
' v i- T# Z( t$ B8 A& }! }15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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