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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol8 ]" C8 X7 ]- i' V" t/ M' }4 d+ p! O
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' _5 |9 u6 Z" C) f9 d. E8 \Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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7 \' j$ R6 {4 i& C1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking., t3 V& s- ?7 \
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; j/ U; Z/ F3 \, s- M, W2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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! z R5 ^# u4 O! v& b# ?9 u3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms." A8 I& i) S. \! f$ M( \) ]/ z2 {. T
; p1 H B# Y0 `' x/ f4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.- v; l. z1 d# s$ v& M
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.8 d$ F8 r% Q- F3 C, o" x& U
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% t9 k) C5 T( x6 o6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area% Y3 `( i- @4 a8 S) N/ q" @; k
n( b6 f2 B w% \8 m1 h7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask8 k% P! Z5 _! j
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'/ T1 p5 Z$ R$ L* G$ |) h( P( j
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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# t* M; v5 D( ]1 w6 s# f10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ @, S9 f- f, `5 j% y4 v) k
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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2 Z% q) ~1 o. W& b: b2 X13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
( A% R1 N4 ]7 X15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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