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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol! v" o( v7 }" e9 n% B7 V; y
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5 |# X& T& v' A d, p6 @9 zThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.5 I! j* Z, W; G
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.! i9 n* h, l: Z K7 a' k% u
3 ^( m7 J# l7 G* L0 N+ e, E" K+ z V3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.7 K; y8 _! B+ o' U4 u1 f! p0 [6 N
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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! f' F3 e: R4 ~8 N' }( _5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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- ]7 M) G: B# T0 y' Q6 p6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7 l' e. u9 D9 j9 ]9 f1 V- Z2 K% h7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.; z; d# }7 O8 P8 c% }
* C: m9 s4 J6 v# n: D+ I+ A: l* v8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
( o5 _6 {5 ]( o7 ^, `( t$ J'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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" v- H1 `* A* N& ?) y9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.7 O: @- C+ [4 r; ^% Y3 W
5 N3 m" c9 g6 g# J10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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6 O, @ g' S" P/ V, k11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme., p3 }5 k& i# w3 I/ \, k. T: O( n
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!( t2 M* Q- P# h$ r- p0 I
% A. \1 j9 ^4 |8 [% H0 |. m$ ~) YAnd; last, but not least!)
, f( Q* K( Y; u) K: j0 f9 C15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
