 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.0 l6 o/ K$ K5 a4 ]4 Z" n, p7 V
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+ c& W/ r2 f" f) q1 S2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.' Z$ y u% X& g, f
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.( H: t; Y; C1 ` i) @; X3 r
4 A& K: B# `5 I9 A4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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7 I( g) X- O* M' V7 C5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.8 ^9 z( ]: @7 t2 M4 o7 P; F* [' S
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* t8 t- d0 s! v( u2 {6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area7 E3 u' c5 M6 d6 y; V
, k# A" \8 x3 T' r7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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$ q. m0 C( W- q8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask- K8 q, i% l5 q ~
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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& u0 u0 Q( t1 k9 L5 V2 ?8 Z+ |10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.- g) v. d& e: U$ w- Q1 ]+ f F
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME! _8 P9 D4 j: W: L7 L$ A
; S2 e- F$ o o" O9 o+ \14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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