 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol9 A, |6 r5 f8 G/ F3 \
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, N9 w* N2 d) s* c) q eThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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1 R3 J- X4 l u/ J9 K9 X! b2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.5 t, Z: b; H V1 H/ P% S
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms." Q) E9 s/ }. n; ?5 Y2 O0 P; g
0 U3 I% T: s& S: r' w/ y4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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! }) }( } Y, s# g5 {* e E6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area5 _' M& d+ l$ u0 o
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ I7 [2 L! c$ l( H+ t# U$ d
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' k2 Y9 u# w% _+ W4 O
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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) o$ N$ Y8 H4 n5 u2 H! T6 J10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.( f5 b- H3 {8 L' w
/ k/ {) _) L+ D6 i: ]. C11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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' N" T% \! z7 T3 B4 [12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.: f7 K" g& R! ]0 T" C/ i
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!1 V. _ v- Y& H- b
6 R: d1 E2 o" B# \: p14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!- G7 A8 q) p, s1 G+ a+ F! W0 c
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And; last, but not least!)0 K0 h, |, C: I8 C# @ B/ b
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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