 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol5 p' j( q4 ]- `+ h. y) H+ I2 q
/ }2 |% h3 ^" T
$ C5 B0 ]% D5 ~) |
& ?) L: w* _1 [9 k4 J l
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
' v {) _, a# w Q9 R1 M; u$ O- X5 Y: s. i
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
7 T7 X0 T) M) A/ {4 {" S& S4 u
* U* ~! E- {( v, X8 q2 M( }: o1 M& n" B
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.( L" J1 x; Y; g6 L% \" p" e; d
2 l7 i3 t5 B- E3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.. n* j2 l& ^8 V0 X1 V- _+ r; p
& Z: z* a5 I- X4 e
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.9 d- g* c% h# s+ c' K" g. e
$ L; r& v) X/ g! q: ^! n5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
% b5 k4 F. N/ g @$ G3 j/ x2 V" H6 f- Y- u' I
2 \+ K8 M, r" V3 [3 s- L- E' x6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area4 Q; @' A3 x `
+ W; ]9 x0 s1 `. w7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department." m+ P' s9 E9 a5 J& J
& \/ Q7 z5 i, R( e8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask* X8 D6 F2 c4 g; }; Y
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 N; }# R, W( o+ e6 j u+ A1 {4 @9 A3 J8 g S1 g: {
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.5 \. \, Q7 c! L) ]5 J
% H3 c( e- c a: q; S; Z+ X10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.; R4 Z3 i& y: \5 E+ s
, y( W+ w' N' T; g5 H
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.& \0 e, v y1 }& ?( C4 u+ _4 c
& F+ `) c. {% k- ~+ w12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
6 d/ c* s' |* U2 O+ k' O4 J8 X3 C5 x" z- P+ D! @- Z7 j% D
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
7 k2 d" I5 S: n" D! b
6 k7 H7 X+ A; U; E( y7 C7 X14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" G% u4 m* v- J0 }5 y+ y' q9 z) Q
$ |8 w$ U- W N: CAnd; last, but not least!)+ b7 l2 I/ ?+ M. w7 q5 a
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|