 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol! I; T# N5 r& v) e6 M y
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:2 d- V& \: i& P9 U- |+ E, _% z9 z
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.$ q0 S% H6 V2 V
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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& O! _, }7 e Q( o4 y8 }3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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. h6 S$ L8 z1 F7 b4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5 A, Z9 X% e& z# R2 i3 {- H
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* [* D* _9 H$ d3 k. @* G6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
5 R* `! V. E- j! Y- A'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'3 y. s6 O& Q# B8 ~. m' _
7 f! p! S2 ?3 @( t/ c9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.; f& d. o, V* s# B: C6 p9 }: a* s W
3 t# ?( ]6 g5 v$ G12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.* @0 T- P& z1 x
, S3 m% }0 Y3 h8 y. ~$ j13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!0 y) [2 y X- N) t. m7 x
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!% m8 W: x3 m% k4 h! X' J! Q% O
7 g2 c! g3 t) x5 G- d2 Y, e' ]And; last, but not least!)
2 M8 C) i" A( n* o) @# e$ W15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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