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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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4 \; b: A2 y. C# NThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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8 S2 f/ ^) A- f" I% Y3 h1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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# {7 [' m8 n: ]+ v! k c* n4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.6 c7 i. Z2 B4 T# }! n0 Z* n) g9 L
" X* @2 T+ o8 e0 ?: q/ Y+ Y: J3 r' t5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.+ E' o4 @# r! d) Q) G
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) b( ?. C* y1 x( R6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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( i/ m, y4 |% k+ k' K- n7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department. u+ {8 c% l8 A9 u l2 A
: a# i, r, m0 A+ j q, V8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
* F% O- N! b, C" H7 U8 U'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'" x) M0 Z/ J4 I' H* _) K
! n; d7 r/ t$ _% C. ]+ X9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.- @8 f' f; C4 e
* g. D6 X' d; ?& }10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.5 {$ B8 i# }2 B: Y3 j( m" U! i
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.# l' g$ j* U9 Y. }+ D9 r
6 B4 g6 l( F* m2 k+ `12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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# C+ K/ ^0 u) ^: B) @' X/ k13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!0 j- O, l/ }6 {8 _6 Z
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And; last, but not least!)6 h4 I: {0 B0 l* k! A# N$ m
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
