 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol4 T& G5 A c8 A& o5 p
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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2 u1 w, A3 l& K1 J; W4 b' K& E. y1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.1 ]% Q l2 K8 D: \! m3 l& D! g" w. r
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+ w) Q; T, k7 L/ h& h {& G/ n2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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; s# ~; V- F5 F3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.& R8 D2 O! W5 i# p8 q: g
# S$ f8 n! ~- k2 L4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.$ G" |" V/ Q; m/ ?$ b/ y E0 F1 w
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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1 }* W3 X; O- z8 ]( [0 Y+ t6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.5 r9 ]; P5 f+ v' K
2 w7 U$ a) m( ^3 R: u8 D3 }8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
. C* x& }1 C( o* h'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'5 E, ?3 K# h$ s8 {8 R/ C
% V+ x J- G; I0 j- l2 V% x9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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0 j% _7 f4 k5 W) k10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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4 {' p. Q( }; q2 D, L% q2 m11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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$ S5 `' a0 a8 `12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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" S0 \$ B5 }7 o13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!, @7 E7 Q1 O! L6 I3 ^: ~, |' c$ y
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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$ f b0 X& T/ q# kAnd; last, but not least!)
# E( a* ]2 ]* u! y( \8 ~+ \. C15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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