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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol& u7 y U0 }+ B" ]9 O
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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P% z S, [0 J) L2 |1 Y1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 @' x& @0 d& B$ [
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( B! E4 X; Z4 `2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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" S) S' U: y7 `+ f% O3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.1 n, ?2 C# K& q5 {7 O9 [8 W& [$ B
4 ]! h5 e# [. ^, ~% W1 n1 N4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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! [8 V! ?/ s3 P7 L6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area* T, S7 l4 A5 P) V4 H
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask; G6 h8 Y6 k$ A8 |2 w
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'4 _: T# d" d' K" r) U7 c1 ^, D
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.! [, Z8 V& I' E! J; F6 a
0 H, r6 G2 v5 b! z$ e9 t% G5 W10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.6 I9 E% g3 D5 P, Q" ]. I& t
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!5 L+ k; O, g1 K
5 o# @9 k, G) _) b; d14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)) m8 l+ K0 Z+ v7 H# H; W7 i
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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