 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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* s u5 h* m4 d: B& M8 ]& {+ k! j# {Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.6 Q1 B1 l" U8 v2 U/ _
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! y* @- {; b- Q) z, x2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.1 m4 `+ q& Q0 B. k8 p7 P
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.: B/ J% _0 ^) b2 v: k+ j% h
5 Z; X! [2 X9 ?$ X5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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5 |. m7 r+ `: q! T" }; A: R+ A6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area+ M# B/ W' p2 f# x% H3 ?) W' N
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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% n) ^8 `) K) f/ C8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask. R+ n! @2 Y0 P! L
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'' }5 r- |3 U' U6 c9 b
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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! ?' }9 {2 L) O g10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ q8 Y/ R7 X6 j6 z; h& r
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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: Y) l8 Y t! [6 o F/ _ H13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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! E9 q, B0 @1 h! W- A14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!( R3 ], @' d1 }( f
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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