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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol d7 j0 r' }1 w9 G
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h1 `* b: _" n$ H8 _3 n8 K5 W# JThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:" |" ^# e; @/ q. ` r# h
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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; f6 U& \4 Z X' P2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.& P, y7 Z& \2 V6 @
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.& H' V; d, ~( n8 B
& Q3 V+ }& I2 n4 e g4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.0 L. ?# r; j0 p- o( [( P, r* Y9 P
) e4 { C7 u; |: N5 s) A5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.) \8 @8 O: N! @; Q: C! M
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3 q: `9 ?& w4 x- p) S6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area6 p$ G7 ~5 x( ?4 a) o" X
" a" N G' R" G7 s1 m' Y d0 T- U% Z7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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) w3 {3 W* d2 X$ W9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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" h# B) W& C, A4 j10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.3 k5 H3 d. y6 t2 U, y
) e: Z" ~- \' a) {( `5 Z ?" ~11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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3 N9 F7 L1 }- P3 WAnd; last, but not least!)
: B3 N0 @* F- I S15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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