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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol b8 N# o( d/ r+ E2 H
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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( @8 Q+ ~0 e/ }1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.; s& y K& X% O) a! k m* d. h
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8 ]$ O7 K& ?* z# d) e2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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, j. Y: P6 Z* u1 W5 G3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms." N2 W" D& \4 O! k2 @3 e
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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: f3 L7 q. J7 o' l- A6 d5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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5 e) K/ b% P( L6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask; P; C8 k; e/ {$ k1 z# n
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?') v7 P: N$ m- A' R- E0 \& S
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.7 Q. d$ g# c) i7 g' G/ `, O8 J ?+ w
( B! W# J' R# F. C9 c) ^: J10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.; g% S. E/ g; \8 w& A5 p, I& v
" j0 d7 S+ p) `# j5 {& Y11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.: x5 h; q0 k! g' Y9 q
2 v/ {" F0 z7 r2 d2 c; Y, m13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!6 a) s/ A# \0 B* I0 M: n0 a0 L
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
6 k. [1 P( c' i: e% `15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
