 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol6 e4 L6 l% p1 Q7 I! W
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.4 o9 x* J* C( k% _. W( X. Y
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$ H& q( D v9 D& u/ r" q8 U2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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% v, K: D+ u0 O! S' p# J3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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6 j; `) n8 q% e i$ D& V% o4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.5 M* @! r: N1 g' j% Z
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area# i( n7 E/ h/ S3 c7 _' d2 P
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.+ t9 q+ |4 m( F# I* M/ A, o6 u
; }" A. M* }2 ]# N, u. N& q) F( K8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask! W: W5 x6 L l+ i& W
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'4 l2 A3 o+ ^- v! y- \
- F ` s: H2 u9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.6 z% Y G, q5 R+ u, P W
! `1 p! J7 T' p10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme." f7 _$ ]- |, J2 k: Z0 S
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.' l$ f/ \. ~5 L
; T8 ], K* T1 @3 x13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!% b0 p j( X6 y' w: l
* N3 I+ j& i* b9 o z2 `. C' G14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!9 M% I& G+ @: N$ _' [$ G9 Q" Q
R z" G* A: _6 h/ V; zAnd; last, but not least!)
3 o6 w) |8 \9 x' K2 ^5 e t" X3 V15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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