 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol. ?+ {. S% j. _+ [+ O
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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4 u* H# z4 `# P5 a2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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# e% t1 Q! a# o3 Y1 q; v3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.1 b) {/ c) i& Q1 r4 E' o
, V- h) @+ e7 N5 ^0 ~4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens., ]" f1 k% p: q- g$ H" G5 j$ Z# I
& n- k+ e: K9 c) k% v2 X5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.# F) b8 q# y" ^* T; u$ k m* j
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area$ N2 W6 {$ b. f$ ]
" H. t) N' i M3 m- a0 ]; R8 I7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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% P, Y2 M4 F* {& K8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask& b$ |# t+ M3 x3 a' M) U& c) J
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'. j; B5 ^: ~2 G) \7 r" ~8 {
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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: D' |# r7 x, {* d5 q4 Y10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are., }' E( v1 n% O9 L9 j* |- Q
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ [( `/ N" i8 C3 ^
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.5 \/ v( R' N+ F0 [
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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9 K0 @$ }+ X3 S6 z7 y14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!2 N* r: X$ g8 C2 x- h
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And; last, but not least!)
" Q! x2 n7 T: \- u15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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