 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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) \ U) }, n4 V/ e# fThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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+ [$ u. }, p" ]7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.' o0 F9 \' d9 N/ Y9 u8 E
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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' ~* Y, c' u0 b9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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* v+ {; g+ K: k8 _1 j+ x1 v10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.% S7 m% H& W( s6 Q0 U
M: N1 s0 {- j* [- I/ E11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ @# d# | S" v- u
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.% z) q5 ~$ V: `+ {) ~% t' }
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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