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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol" q5 q) q8 I8 u: \% F& h1 o6 u4 ^# w
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% [- z% U9 ^6 w E' d* @Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.( K6 n$ h) v- }( w
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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# g3 G& v6 r2 c6 V9 Z3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms., I$ t$ A) m x( S3 U4 V6 O
1 j. \# y, x( Z! |. Y7 A4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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* A o2 O3 }( A' b5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.* g- k( f R) G1 m: a: P
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8 G& p1 E, B3 U0 r. u8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
) w5 {7 c; P. d8 ^- ^ f5 h; m1 X'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.3 G4 H9 c/ k6 a8 |" `, B& b8 X! j
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.: j2 g G8 i5 T [
: w6 G( O% P) n9 J11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.5 }: V4 ^5 z! C2 V) Y7 [3 J# B
( H- Y* N" B% E3 h$ h12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!/ p8 h# Q2 x. D7 v9 q( Z/ n3 u4 L
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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