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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol1 @: R! R. x' t* U
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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' z, y) l& P3 ?; e5 [: _2 Z# D1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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/ ~* j. O% a- k3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.2 G3 o) F+ e- t" W0 ]
: B' `6 i) D# O8 R9 w% p4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.* S3 }! u; t" Z* B# C0 d- r6 H
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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& G+ Q* m2 @1 T* X/ D' X7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.2 g/ e/ {+ ~ [& S6 O* [
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask5 `, \' H4 C/ f" p
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'6 I) ~' ]- @, j0 @7 G& n
, t4 D1 M% C& K9 T4 Y9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.- \# |/ Y6 k, E$ g
/ U$ _4 }1 C6 E5 K3 S h0 i10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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5 i5 O% r, ~8 C; s: N, p11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme." X( W+ D8 y7 @8 `% C
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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! }/ R$ a! W. g% P7 X13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!) t% u, n' k) p Q
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5 T+ R" I* B; t15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
