 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol* T' q) T3 S( \, K
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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' W Q2 q+ S. M" i1 [1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking." ]* {2 k& A( ]
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3 |& j# u: I$ q) P" X2 }2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.' x9 `5 y2 [& r! C9 Z; ]5 O4 }
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens., j( M4 h+ m+ U! n" t
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.# _9 _# t6 v2 [3 C( A- S4 o& n
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area e" Q# [! J% z2 _
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.8 b1 {: `4 M) [. k4 `- A, D
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask- ?2 u% Z0 k- a
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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% `, x( a/ H- a* j/ h3 O9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.( q1 x3 n: W0 d2 J
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.. D; r1 M. S' a* T. N! E
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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7 }% b, ~8 s( d12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!1 Q f: X- K1 \ |, j# a
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!( W% f* N4 n7 I
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And; last, but not least!)
$ Q" d: @( e7 l: E: \15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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