 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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4 j7 S2 ~ O. s, DThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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' h) j- ~8 U( p- e1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.: |7 l: Y W) X
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.* H0 \$ t$ q8 y& s x" D
$ |. M0 q E9 q2 q! e+ K. m3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.! d1 U! `( S+ g' g! Y- U \
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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( f& l/ h' s- j4 ]5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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5 D4 a$ n/ Z3 u ^# g( q8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask# @! O# `3 h% F# ~: K J! a
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.. D& a B6 b1 l1 M0 E
, C5 f1 C; A' b/ X* ]& t }10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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) A3 ^! o! m1 e6 V- Z s7 s11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.) N! @; b2 T! j9 H+ d# B( Q/ s* q
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.4 M6 o0 S5 ]9 V3 `$ F
( [) o$ ?# S$ f1 ^13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!; h5 z/ l, X% S1 f* @+ U2 Y
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!% _! z; {* }) X( c) e2 \
' \6 A2 k/ ?5 _! _And; last, but not least!)
3 X5 D/ k3 @% b15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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