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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol. l* @9 f9 I! K
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z4 E+ ]+ _2 H8 u# i$ F9 ]Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:. ?' C1 y3 i& [! W7 a
# T- o" u" L/ f P: H1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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7 ~9 K7 m" d1 \* y* x! z$ V; R2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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( l3 T' o- c9 z3 \9 B" h3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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+ f0 n* n7 q1 o; w3 ]. N4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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+ Z! G" B0 K8 j+ P1 x3 ]5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5 Z: w0 i2 ]# o3 K" W- P$ I' r) E
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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0 t9 F. y, |2 ]' c3 N# W8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
' V, `. F0 C- L! U" ~% p9 ?+ g'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'0 H3 G* o: q6 G
7 C! G! b9 G5 h8 X9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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- A( D$ q, @8 z2 \10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.. n: B; v2 e; w% u
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.2 {1 F, U) K9 u% i% B& r+ w* l
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!( o5 P! n$ T3 i* }' R7 u t
3 r) `5 c( N$ l8 P# k3 [2 g14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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# V( }/ Y# n! WAnd; last, but not least!)3 |1 {' J4 J. H2 B4 h2 u" R' _
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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