 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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: u3 @4 T- p. B+ \7 s( Q. J$ d) u1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.- v+ @% b3 l$ c; w
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3 m$ J6 g! g+ b1 z5 z7 ]2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3 Z% B; |5 H$ w0 _
) ]/ C8 ^3 T d* s3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.: p9 X1 c5 B4 x. ]2 h4 E4 U. E( R
- J4 O% S$ a: n; Y3 H3 F5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.! ]& U* A+ }; k/ t4 X7 w: \
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# m2 H: z" _6 q6 G* h6 z$ ]9 P6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. t3 ?7 q( f( R; [
% \0 K9 O5 X6 k; `7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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( Y) U7 }7 [0 M8 A1 h9 }8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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! ?7 G3 s3 U8 T5 I4 u1 l* o9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.+ e. j% z) z$ b3 k
- ?+ Y+ f1 t; F" |+ K10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.' f7 Q9 e1 G! ?) d% l% {. I
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.& ^. |" W/ L- ]& T4 a6 C
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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