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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol% }' n) l: _. f7 O' g& k' Q
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time: \/ e( g( j/ |1 z7 f
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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; Q2 K, `! l; S2 I% ^7 N3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.: ?" V+ J: V2 ?* M; \2 g% ?
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5 r2 p( a c! |/ u" p" |
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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% O; e# y( r4 k7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask8 n" ^) V7 I6 l
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?', U8 }4 q! Z: c) w1 V8 H
0 y, ^ ]! G3 y; K! b& \9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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/ Q& t( Z3 O9 ~% r+ Y( Z# [# T10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.0 o( L$ |; k) u5 S; }9 |
7 L' R V! ]) \9 H12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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" S1 {8 X4 R# X4 }13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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2 K8 k( g9 p; x9 _: Q14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!8 k$ P, X/ Y# B( }3 l- P/ ]& n+ q
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And; last, but not least!)
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