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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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+ z; y5 I2 U6 O OThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:* K; h/ n+ n# u
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.5 ~2 ?2 v6 s6 s3 o3 ~. D
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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& M' x' x# e* D7 b( w9 i3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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$ h4 R1 {0 m; J% \+ X3 v4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.1 R3 ~) c$ p- _! |6 V. d* P* ~
+ K0 H. f5 z6 t# C) {5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.7 w/ r8 b+ b5 i2 o4 z5 L& X% h
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, ?2 g3 x1 y% v* L% p6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area1 c4 ]; Z+ I: J8 ^5 g/ e
2 x1 U( [3 S" y W: T8 x7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.# A5 g, j, X8 a6 o& F% P$ f' x
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
' V) K" o0 y& b" t8 L5 i'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'; M5 f1 m' m( @7 U
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.8 _; |9 y3 h7 I& T. D- E
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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) c$ V4 i- F7 `' T7 Q6 v12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.. ?! ]+ [, {' Z: R; u- u6 W
5 U! i1 U$ a4 E13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!2 s' B( O" n( k0 H6 V# L+ I
* _" f* {" A8 t, Q$ Z, P14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!* v5 `# t0 S! S2 H# ?; H
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And; last, but not least!)
4 i( T! [ p2 `& g# S8 ~$ ^! O15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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