 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol$ S( B1 m J$ r9 w9 h' G
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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: ^; _! i* X; z$ L8 v; I- X1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking." w) B2 `: Y# h- F1 M) O7 l" _
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! l" w7 Z6 `5 X& R9 a2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.6 f) s9 U: f. Q% w# _- J
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 P* H+ R: M* c8 y. E6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area* T2 I3 q8 x# Y" L
! t) D/ g) s4 T" E( P6 W) v7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, I6 j4 a9 u2 [: e! Z% H
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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$ h( a- \3 n0 O, M9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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! P& F; @5 G% Q$ W! q8 n; g4 E12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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" M* G8 p! U) y3 j14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!. \+ K( O4 r4 Z' x# ?
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And; last, but not least!)9 g5 o9 ~0 t) M# }# u
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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