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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol8 N. |/ J ~6 U
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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. @2 g+ o) T0 s7 I9 E/ t1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.; x: E8 M* Q) A
J ?' c0 }5 R3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.$ V% g- k/ j# o. l
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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1 s7 z7 x6 h5 g5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.* ?* V, N, T: }- R4 [! {3 x
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$ {/ F" O" i, j/ S. F( {, i( K' s6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area1 `. n5 @- s8 Q$ u) a
5 I( Y; e0 _# C( \! x7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.3 x/ P, l; f# o! P
) H# ]6 m3 K( s8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
( R9 d) [2 W, I) U( \2 [! i'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.9 O8 Q3 {" W4 h" k
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.; r2 x6 _5 @6 m1 o; C7 \+ D$ g
1 ^/ @4 k* a/ n& P9 U11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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" ]( x1 ~/ h( z4 x& H12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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. [0 c0 K- }! g9 v13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!5 D/ o2 _# a/ O. w7 c
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And; last, but not least!)# J4 {! s6 a+ w2 T9 A& q
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
