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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol* E0 ]5 A. m$ y3 x2 {
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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. s* X" \' m8 H7 f7 W4 B1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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. J {" e6 x. P E4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area: E) m4 I" ~, u2 J# s
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask% w6 @0 G1 M3 d) S7 p3 W% R
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9 ?2 O5 x$ ^1 y9 e5 i: C9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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2 ?' i/ R% k' \11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.% g/ D) T/ Y! Z; {: Z
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!; n" b4 ^- A6 }
; T6 m( [7 l: ]% I2 a( I* A14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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* V2 z& [% D* X) l6 y( g$ uAnd; last, but not least!)
6 v! |# \. u% {15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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