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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:( j* m3 }+ p4 j$ Z8 r
, [/ c2 [# A9 ?; H! d1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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: r$ V+ z+ [( Q* n. m; s6 t/ o2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.2 O. A T# W* Q, I* \1 U, E
- r# y% e4 k! k% W8 s7 p3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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0 _5 [0 o% w" T- N0 P0 r4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.) g5 O, u' P7 l0 D& u8 E
$ w3 N* w/ x9 ?8 T3 B) m6 Y. j8 P5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.% d6 m" k2 f/ Q. z( @9 x
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0 i% e. n+ i. z# b: E2 W6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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! }( \$ [ e, K1 b2 @2 j5 y( @1 X8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask0 f9 ~2 ~# }# ~8 m2 M; G
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'" {9 G5 ^- F( Q3 d3 Y
_* c. M( z1 c W- z9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.7 ^- r; [1 I; f9 U& R3 R7 }' k! o
7 l# S/ f& v) \; J10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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& n. X1 V6 M2 |5 F1 }. m) r11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.7 W4 z' S4 _, R6 P6 G2 [2 R- B
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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5 c4 m# S5 P6 k, W4 h6 ?13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!$ Q" F, s8 Z! X5 _ \7 w3 c
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
& w0 I2 a& s. C2 O2 P6 I! b/ R- Y15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
