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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol# [' R) ?& J! X5 l y; f; b1 {
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! i) @' t* Z7 c4 P0 G- pThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.+ e+ u8 m! ^' l- I7 Q
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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0 P1 F8 W. Y; g; H3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.( P$ D7 D/ k) L8 q
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.# X2 @( I9 a" K) [0 _+ h; z5 a
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away./ u) w% f; g2 i2 L3 |2 G
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area% i& k& W0 ^, P2 e1 |# D& e
; z0 Y% f$ o$ ~5 p' F4 r( x* m7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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4 A- t" } W' O a3 n) _8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose./ p2 x2 }2 D; m! P, e! X
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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& X$ W4 r4 m9 ]: K" b11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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: e8 H1 j, f0 R) x# Z12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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( C# B( [) p, q$ B# ?13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!: b. m2 P, [" U& k
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!6 z. n# h% |1 G6 y
B7 F3 b/ _. Q0 ^; ZAnd; last, but not least!)
. z" n" s$ G2 H0 J, {6 ~15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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