 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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% B- D* p% Q# M: q: ]Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.% F8 o% T, H9 A% M2 N, c3 ?/ \
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals./ R8 F* q6 [, }' V. |8 `( R+ p
/ G- c6 n' R9 \( U" D1 ~3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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5 S0 ]* D2 Y+ y- K! t4 a8 R# i- E4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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/ {" _3 O4 }7 W' l- ?7 n. _' l5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.' r. N$ r# a S0 ?
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask1 k: Y7 ?4 z7 i% _9 `
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'- [) e# X4 z' w3 p
) P. Y) D. T" r+ u7 ~, x s9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.6 L T% _5 `, f
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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$ F6 b2 c( w1 W) _11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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1 M4 S( j. m' E1 E/ G. R8 }- E; r0 Q9 k12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.% q3 Q h( G+ f: g% k
1 t+ j; T! M. A) q13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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4 d% k% B& n; u! t6 m" {14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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4 e8 f+ ~# g6 r6 a/ EAnd; last, but not least!)$ {0 F) E8 g7 O; H7 e, @$ L8 y' j
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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