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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol9 \4 |& E' e: I4 J4 i+ e/ s
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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! \ m1 d% f4 v2 d; D/ ]/ m7 t1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 \( X* A A) r6 ]* U& F; z: i
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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0 ^$ X5 M" K. v2 J/ f# {5 z3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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/ d1 T* ?6 n& ] t4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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1 k: q9 e2 m# C6 s% I5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.. k; S6 ?3 T$ i/ O
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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8 G! E% B* ~9 s1 F- y" R9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.( W% G4 f$ |1 P0 k* c* A
) Q: v( r2 J5 D3 j2 c12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.; w! K4 |5 R T
; P" k. k( _ h* r13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!$ J; @ C9 l& V7 V7 P: A
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!9 |- t2 l) u) g8 b& {0 l
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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