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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol) r/ _6 H2 N# I4 @2 l) @
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! Z k' a1 s+ S/ uThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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( }. y2 B' v2 {3 m% x: a- k k1 s1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.. ?5 L0 X% {9 x& P
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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( W9 h% V# e5 |+ q: n' r7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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9 |+ V9 A) k2 d8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.8 L0 d) k+ u# v7 c% m
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.2 {( ?! L+ d }, s
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!" |# j4 I' j4 R9 h
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)5 P/ M) g* T5 b6 w) U
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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