 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:0 I& ?; T: R g P3 u
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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' j+ J2 y, u' b: m" z( H3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.1 W. S1 U. i+ q0 s$ P. H1 L
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. m% J1 m. T+ V
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: w( ^) f! ^/ P$ X! l6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask+ h, S+ ]6 F5 V; ~: Y0 z& q
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'. [7 J# P0 {7 l( S u: L
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.' \& w4 [; a# i" ~; o" O7 X# I0 R
3 z+ o; C; C0 f" m10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. d, x1 @2 @# J7 R2 `
3 y) n/ U. ~" R11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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$ Q! V9 R W7 U" k/ i) L8 O2 }12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!, H% I) j& p1 h
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!0 C5 Z9 l, |' t# \9 O6 h: s. N$ R
, j' `1 g. J+ d" ^) p; {& M8 JAnd; last, but not least!)
8 J! Y/ R! k v6 y" o, \15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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