 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:$ v' ?) q7 H+ `( K: J, y* ?' G s, m
# u$ Y: P, D3 t' h1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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) {. f: [4 Q: } v% A! x2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.2 Q2 Y/ t% g4 ?
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.1 C) J; c, l! W; L$ N! ^7 y
# ]' x {- w; E L4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.' R1 P1 F0 I- V
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: N* B8 Y0 ~+ i7 I6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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' g2 `' M1 }8 R. f: r2 N8 X7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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( r, L2 E2 ]' Q8 k4 W, g7 }! p/ _( ~! T8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask# u8 d6 `1 @: H8 s7 I
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' a; Q1 _" [( s6 t
" g5 ^! ?) L9 s8 j6 L0 T9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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' R5 q4 \8 v5 y7 x# L& f11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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9 Z" F2 m3 K9 C9 U+ g12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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% Z( j- v* N# t: a6 M& Z14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!3 K2 I) v& L( u$ \# T% F
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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