 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
- @$ g- Q& Z% d; o3 M! A: S# a6 U6 N v4 v' u
3 n j4 _8 F9 Z
- T1 r1 O2 M+ K6 L
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
$ `/ F& a. l% J6 m3 [( z# m8 k- x
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
# r- r4 ]) D/ g& Y; O
* L" _5 R# P* f u7 g: D
/ `" b" A% n# N2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
5 V- o. H/ ]) w7 Q
6 e6 T. f6 s/ W8 n6 k$ K* X3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms., O& G. _, l; q3 ?
) ?+ {( d. @" H( `$ E
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens./ h* Z6 H$ l1 y: g; w0 B: ?1 W
& o2 Q8 J# `* [5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6 [8 f2 D6 a1 | o3 }, u8 P | t9 T+ |6 l
4 G% Q) q7 ]3 S' ?9 m6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
! M9 Q5 C7 h/ M2 m& p. l& y7 V; r [9 S- R) Z- L9 `# k5 m9 b; m
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.8 v4 x/ M' P/ K% H5 Z6 U! u. H
) M V6 p `5 M* N [) f2 t8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ j' B+ g" B6 Q8 V4 J- ]% I
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'% y( p: P& s: H9 A: x6 |
5 Z7 \4 u# T4 q( c- I
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
& o" l) p% t- x3 s7 N% P: G( Q9 {1 h, x, H2 Q
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.; |- `1 K {3 a
7 _+ V" P& a' ?" ?3 o/ L$ V
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
0 }. L9 Y, ~( {* J
" m- h9 \/ b/ a4 ] }. H12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
) `& X; `! I% V9 _+ z; k$ ?; o% j7 }" j; x- i
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
6 H1 j& g: r+ d5 B4 f; u. Q! D& a+ e& X0 b6 d0 o3 |. K
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
# C1 F. |, `% x
8 f0 D) M0 r+ U- I; n2 JAnd; last, but not least!)/ p: ^ u5 O0 K6 h' d- S# S$ L
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|