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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol( y6 {6 i4 u$ k% l1 ?
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/ g8 s% x5 T; U& z1 I& Z7 @Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:( w( [: f* @6 X2 g/ ~; d$ ]3 ~. b
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking./ A0 X& N5 V8 _" x3 t" m4 z5 E; g
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1 J6 G8 q0 V6 u! n2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.0 \0 C2 y3 I7 U1 p
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.: O f9 ^) ^2 t% Y8 x9 m9 m
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.. F$ n. u* m2 g5 n' F3 K
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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# C9 v, {4 ]/ H6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.) o6 `5 u; V# k3 B# m C9 J2 O
6 E. y/ \' X- K" w! H8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask) N6 B! F; q9 D: Y4 T
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'6 \2 ~8 l0 N4 Y4 e* |
7 f, q5 m7 ]& I5 p9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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3 H6 v5 t n9 N, |/ ^) Q10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.. s2 ^) q4 ~( H, l! ?$ e \0 @0 `
( M) M! g, s7 o6 I; X. i11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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/ a, x) R- y3 D! I& _12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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; J+ I# Q5 k- Y1 ^13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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# N3 N0 j" q' _+ A$ f3 R) I/ I# a x14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!1 _8 B2 V4 y% m* m$ @2 S$ g1 q5 {0 f
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And; last, but not least!)9 u6 E9 \' `. I8 S+ W! Z: k/ l
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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