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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol# t6 z+ c% O3 J) y
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' z4 U$ ~) } e9 P+ MThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 e, q2 K6 V5 k5 n. S
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5 m& C/ n/ N i2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.5 K0 u5 U& D4 k6 k: y" ?5 [
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.+ C0 x; B2 _, ] N) L3 y
8 ] O! D* T/ y, d+ g4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.: m `3 Y; A N# z$ ]+ p F- l
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.* O6 G* t- \2 w
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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, E4 k/ A! ^- [3 l3 F: {5 L# Z7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.4 n8 Y$ W( ~, c, x: Y _& [/ }9 Q0 m
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask2 G3 K- O O+ e U. `, }9 @. `
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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' ~" E5 o: Q) k6 h* A9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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$ D1 F6 P6 p" G; m+ {7 M- ~4 U Z# Q10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ M4 g, n* `/ G7 ?, I
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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9 v. P+ J1 t8 q% j9 g6 f9 K13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!0 g' y- h q" Q3 A1 o$ ~& w( r9 W4 Z
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)% D0 R1 w" } j$ x5 L) n" G5 y
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
