 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol V8 H, p) P$ u; T$ B0 D3 }) `
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.- t( V, N U8 n& {' s8 g! u/ Z& P
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.: |! G# r8 l& V" X6 u
7 w2 v( e r' O- Z7 A8 D: |! t3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.9 q+ Z5 e1 X( n1 A& x# G, P: q
' c9 k: G3 F# M$ A. V: V4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area9 N, [5 w! d% _; T$ L
4 J5 D# t; h: h( x t7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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% U# I/ K8 L, m2 ~ D+ y4 }9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.8 }2 s$ B0 P% s& b4 ?" c
- }1 l& E0 h6 c" X+ N1 c10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.) D% f" e" O7 M$ _. q
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.2 _# p6 g1 b. }0 o+ x
( W% n( g0 Z7 }+ y% z/ f" l12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.' [* j2 o( n9 ?8 `: d C+ q
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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3 E9 e; ~8 |7 e( t# p1 C* C" @8 ]9 A14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!2 s) m& [& d- o( x
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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