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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol. J5 X6 Q! R1 h1 A
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( [$ e' B3 T, e( `( T# VThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:# K7 _ f9 t" P- g+ B- u* z
6 S6 ]7 `& ^2 D- n/ ^ v1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.9 Z3 G# j2 w+ o9 }6 R
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8 l7 ]: C$ y: h+ e2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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# U5 x5 G3 f6 K8 F: U X. E& `3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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. Q, O9 W+ _+ D; A) n$ F+ r* F, b6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area% S, Y* U) m% X1 w
' G3 p' b6 t# X! \7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask; Y9 e% H# H4 R! w6 L# z) {
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'% L6 d3 J% v) A( V! k# s+ B2 Z
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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4 b A1 G$ N9 a6 z' f2 ^$ X' K( [10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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4 r+ P6 w4 Z0 b8 ^( @11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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" d: t. ^' C/ a12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels." `* C0 K$ _! _. o1 P/ S, x8 x
( V3 d( z0 X" A13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!# }* ^" g) W7 w/ o
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
" @2 Z! p9 w5 @; x/ M; {$ g, z5 w15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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