 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol% D) K+ N* ^& q$ a$ }* i
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:/ L% a7 p8 S7 U4 h* ~4 E: ~( ^# g: h
7 N: U1 g( | [- F1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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( C" b' y5 s, B; l; D0 u3 s( o" L2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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3 |- e" U7 m$ n: g! F4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.2 L r5 {. D m h; V6 ] r0 e. Q
* j; y: n) L7 V3 }+ r5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area9 u9 p2 K2 H! A2 I5 g3 i
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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4 n e& ]% k% `7 |5 G8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
4 b4 }& @7 t3 `: e F3 r'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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/ k) i T8 U: }2 F2 T! z: s9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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5 s0 C( `4 U7 ]3 M R10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.4 u; O* _4 Q8 |( q5 w6 {
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.8 a2 G; X2 X4 [5 b9 c% W+ \
7 u, Q5 U2 j5 v$ B* A% |! v. `8 U12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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i6 u! R+ b: B" v' L ~13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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6 q! Y0 H5 p q( {' YAnd; last, but not least!)
6 ]9 G: e9 \! D3 c1 p; o" H6 J5 ]15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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