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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol0 z6 X; G0 I" U) S$ B# [
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! B( x7 W! U& b* f6 M" `7 AThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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" i2 i2 m" {" ]' |) d2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.5 s" }. T% w0 J& r7 w
0 I$ z' z3 `. h+ h0 g" E3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.! ^/ \3 u3 s$ _) R
( t: R* Y* H+ s# D+ B9 K% k- f4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.0 E9 M) t8 _+ Z4 u6 I3 y
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area! z6 t# l$ b8 F- C
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
' l& p" J |3 }9 _) Q* F; ^6 Z'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'0 K. j7 Y4 S1 C) B
! S3 \$ h/ r8 f9 W, T9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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9 v2 |4 t7 J( f$ U0 H9 n10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.% O! k, f: ^9 Q) f2 k& U8 |. P
% b4 t0 O' Q+ N. z0 h2 y$ h4 b11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.: v+ o7 q' ?7 L/ U- t0 n, r
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!$ ?! _- I( H5 X8 r# N0 w
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And; last, but not least!)
7 a) V; \- v8 N3 t15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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