 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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" s! X. ]# [- g" @- [4 U% HThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:5 C! S! ~; u, F- S' Z# ^( V/ B7 B8 H
' v) ]0 L ~8 E- d) a1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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& }7 R) _7 m5 |+ W n) H$ R3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms." \( g' a4 M1 O( L' w) H. q
5 v& S& d- H/ c4 x4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.0 \7 U5 i" [1 m, |8 j
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.; \# |4 I* @. | e y$ D
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4 G) v0 n4 ~" J0 t4 }6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area1 D$ U5 Y5 h; P7 o4 ?7 h
1 l) k2 ?3 |- q$ Y( U+ }+ C7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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, a; ]4 Q/ {7 c6 `8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask. _0 f9 U/ M. n9 @
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'! b+ J, ^: d5 }6 z! _6 i3 A
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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. P/ m" p6 c+ |% A( K10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.$ R1 W1 F& s- o, V; r% q' i* G3 L* F
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!9 d, n6 z, o P ^3 B2 ?! t
% S7 F" F' ]4 w: d5 k9 d( }- t9 L6 Y' ?14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!& ~; ~( M6 u8 }* F) ~; p
$ f# l6 f- I! e4 I( H6 A; ?And; last, but not least!)
% P) e3 {% x; Z( u, d15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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