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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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- S* E$ h" |( d8 l1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals./ H( V: w: [0 N% Z
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.1 i/ _* Q0 e8 z1 \7 Z
6 d, y/ W2 ?1 q( s- W- A* g4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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7 t3 B4 d9 f' S5 h/ ]: X0 ~3 M. V5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7 t5 F- B. K8 x) s7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.9 \4 ~; r$ L8 v0 L2 e% W; m" T# b
' {7 k6 O& L; R' N% a0 p1 F8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask. E( F% e& m4 g7 ~1 ?/ x
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?') M2 ~: x- ~( u0 \) r# m
1 N, f4 {1 r3 d0 Q) v9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.% S% J7 R9 V/ n0 y! c$ B1 J3 K7 ~! \
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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3 A, b# S, R/ v4 U3 x/ ]8 s11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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8 k6 M4 U, x& J6 B( r12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.% n6 j, n' R7 ~8 E
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
* a0 M. }( I5 ?2 H. `15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
