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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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! Y+ [% F: _' X* X8 |7 K4 _1 @2 gThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:. b M& x9 G- ^, u: @
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens./ F7 _5 m, P4 H7 b: v/ O8 r
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 G, K/ C+ q" s6 w6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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# A5 V6 x3 o/ u G4 h3 f; v7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.* J) }/ g. M/ X/ t" h/ i" O
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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4 D$ v* e9 G/ H* u# O6 ?- o9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.3 j z8 ~- a! L1 o
) z* w. _- Y( A* P11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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! O7 ~9 ~" m( w8 H o' R12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.4 Q5 d1 x/ T( A: Q. v
1 R/ ~8 q; S0 u7 m13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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4 O, @6 L. |6 ?) D4 [4 l14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!, [/ t4 J5 Z, N8 j
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4 x7 p# {7 K1 ~: f, V15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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