 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol( H( H8 F# H" B' S& o/ v9 a
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. Q) g/ [* [. j, e( `Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:( \! j" z5 G3 b: l6 F. e
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.$ v$ `! J, q: ~- H$ w8 @
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' u9 r* w) o; K3 q7 b- h8 t2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.* V" I" h6 M$ i$ Y7 B; B4 Q& t, C8 f
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4 k0 _( y8 p, O7 L4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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7 h) b1 A0 x6 K8 i$ ?5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area8 H: [1 [. }/ y- O% w/ o
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.# v* H& L6 `. |' y3 K# V& S; D: ^
; F" @4 o9 v) N c9 K8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask/ \4 I/ _. \* D
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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; a9 z2 F0 n- \8 `9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose./ c' X$ n$ ~$ _
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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+ F0 N% ]9 @# ^/ `3 W: S8 F# J11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.+ N3 j' s5 K2 @+ }) ~ P1 I
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!1 \" _# Y4 m4 B1 L. v% d
; y& c. V+ k8 m) y5 [! Y14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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% S/ H; v' d: [3 U/ X% m* E* K# XAnd; last, but not least!)
$ T0 H! j2 c: u c( J; t* O. x15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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