 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol' K5 h; r+ w1 ^& G
. v- W) i, |& b' R5 Y) O
6 w8 M2 }# {! N4 P! o# A" Y7 P1 }: }9 X" l. K" b
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
" Z2 N( ~, \8 {2 l# l0 A* X1 ^& i" r) _4 N$ k. M( K$ [
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.: t- J4 B" S; B# F2 z& S
+ N( g) p* \& Y' _+ d7 Z5 N4 I. N7 I5 `& R+ h3 h
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.- |& Z% L7 X* L+ O- o9 i: ?
5 | p5 u( N' p# p
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
; p" f d, V2 k L' \6 }- U0 |0 {* Y$ ^& N
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
/ ~3 w6 B+ D" S1 U! ?! @7 _
3 D# w9 k+ ^+ s6 G5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
m1 N3 }0 y, e9 V% c& }4 S( _2 v9 N+ O/ ~
) i6 U1 J5 {% ~; T4 o% |* K6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
$ `$ }" e7 t* ^. I' q% ^
- G) J6 X& l6 ~ A( l; a+ ~% d7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
( I: K! P: i. D, T
& ^2 n2 w. I1 w! t1 ^; i8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
2 n( K+ J" g: |'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
: F0 @3 T# b1 Y- s
2 h. a& V$ u5 B, P( s9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.: F; f; v& L4 o/ |
$ h: c2 l+ v5 ^7 h+ d2 h+ x( w; @8 l
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. f. j9 n% S. n1 g3 t% l' S# t
' Y, Z0 u6 _( G9 s+ _11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
/ G, p# l. L( V: V/ P c. h& D3 h
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
6 d8 `8 l) [9 r
: |3 X: ^* o' E; @6 ~13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!5 w, U9 ?7 _+ A( E; I) `
; C+ R, G3 w4 c) _: \0 i9 ]14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
( w. ]/ E K( F% r* p, m$ v& l( s& e" t. G
And; last, but not least!)
# [( V* r4 w1 h, d4 A. j15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|