 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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4 t: L+ ~ U* o2 o, MThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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3 G A# u& X' d; c9 v4 z1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.9 X2 ~/ }5 C4 b4 w" P w
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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0 y$ P' n; O8 c8 t; t4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.4 g+ A( V w M; x& r
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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/ a4 n1 L2 n6 ~3 U0 D6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. b' C9 Y% u0 {( u" F. B9 d
A. q2 b/ H2 V' }7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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, k2 I" n' p( h/ A4 ~# j8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
9 z7 W9 F6 t/ Q3 N+ A'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'4 w2 }5 B/ @/ H* ?' C5 f
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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% R1 s9 q. ^0 n# \10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.5 c$ v% \. o/ Z/ a0 D" A( h4 P
* _8 B, _; w7 d0 f4 {11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.2 W8 `3 B( c/ Y& ^& K7 I
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! D+ M: Q/ Z! `- K( M14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!3 M( Z+ E9 {. _9 c- P% d$ N
M4 h5 M, b4 w# HAnd; last, but not least!)- p3 g( a5 F5 q9 _2 C
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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