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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:* U8 j: E* O4 J& {/ q$ ?
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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3 G7 C! n- a, X2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.* W- `+ g6 U" u. }* |& P
' B6 J8 S' h" O3 T3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.4 u( u% w! Q( F% }' l2 X
5 I# M. W5 a0 O4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.2 J( j5 s0 `4 _ v. T! e
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area: e. s" S& x) n* _: p: T
m0 u4 y& C* Q( c7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask2 d V# t6 G5 o- J! [# B f! n5 y
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.6 c$ P9 q$ j1 P5 `! c6 k
( l1 _3 f. c' `/ A10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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& S; f4 C- W, e- K. i* F6 X13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!1 v) S: Z' T1 s1 V
$ {( |1 j8 n7 j9 X9 a U14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!8 \6 s+ p( E/ P% M. U: o' e
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And; last, but not least!)
( w. r" @" s7 X, y. @15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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