 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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/ I/ e* ?0 Q6 E# V0 D/ E- P' _1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.6 h; P2 S" i9 r8 j" U! A
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7 I' N! z3 l4 g$ M0 C8 A1 A2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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, d' Y+ ]& _$ H9 X" u3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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6 \- T3 N; P' A7 N- @" q1 o4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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7 h i# @( P) d' c! \5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area4 g2 z3 ~/ {% g+ f4 i
/ G9 X) g' O) n4 X, N7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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2 g# G Y6 J m2 B( [8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
' L; U) H' l2 V0 X% D'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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8 i6 }+ J4 ?+ r7 ?* a- A' r! q |9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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0 v7 s/ X" I; o9 ~6 i" q& u10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.& g1 q" a+ Y3 L
* l2 o* l6 o- M) a" S, I11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.* i i! J. _6 W, J7 K
( X( E# L+ j7 k12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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/ F' q7 {0 b: v N, h13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!% u' O" W7 y; H8 V( m; i5 T; X
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1 n1 ]. I7 x% m; b) B15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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