 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:4 P1 M6 W; U) Y8 K* B* y- J
0 I9 F9 o- L& w3 |, X! O1 g1 \( G2 ]1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.# s, Z: o1 Y6 T
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 S* R* W. G# \+ j }! z* [8 Q6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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9 y4 }5 h7 i3 }1 Q, s7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department. s( T# w. D% E
( L2 W" Z0 X+ {8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
q! j6 ?' C, m'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'8 I0 B4 h$ s! h3 r) ]. |" ?
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.- k! u z# L% ]7 I; Z( e' |
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. k, H( g; x; K4 s* b
2 J( t& o- P2 ~5 u0 S2 d8 u11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ a, a# M8 v+ S4 f* X0 \3 \' _
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!, o/ b9 q# H- z; @6 ~; T0 _
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!) n' d. y# \4 e0 q" t; u
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$ W( p, G8 S! Z5 F, {/ V% b) i15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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