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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol4 c! m& Y: {2 l, p1 k$ G7 b. F* I
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) z: z* B! \( y; _* UThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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1 m0 Z4 k0 W- t4 \2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.* s: X* a8 U- y: I, F: ]6 i
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$ P1 q; D% b ?+ l! Y6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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+ m7 e+ l Z e, }. R1 Z: e2 H7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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0 M8 J6 d$ L# v2 s8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask; m; h) o" j+ ] J. c( t: K- E
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'# ~) `$ ]6 ^! r) i' @2 M) w( G6 L
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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$ s2 e) t8 Y" t8 _5 p10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.9 Q9 \. }+ U- W3 k' l
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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]* d. Q. }$ V1 @2 g13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!+ C% P6 F. m$ s+ Z
; d4 f# l c$ u# s14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!0 `9 l3 x2 m8 N, l: j# h
' ?1 C5 v7 j$ ]$ QAnd; last, but not least!)3 i! I* ~1 A$ |
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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