 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
" l- P) l, W+ F7 `0 @; g! l# E' \3 d
6 D4 x s* O5 I% F/ i( b
3 g9 t: C# P! ~7 J$ Z. cThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
( L8 T7 F& P; K- |$ Q R v' I
& T j# \4 P9 [" P0 m/ ^1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
$ p r1 f; N9 `5 z
6 c* B( d* l$ H# z
8 R3 @; R8 L# q; @2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
( \9 d- D) _% W. P9 ]( p& H8 G% {, z9 C6 `$ `8 l/ B
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.8 \& U/ U- b0 L$ \ G* u& H
( ^* f9 Z0 O% t2 U4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
$ Z" }$ b9 k1 r0 Q0 @$ |7 A+ ? N% o$ v# j+ ^
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away." Q4 o6 g2 A3 y
; |- N4 U0 F" y
( c" O1 f' W5 n. i7 }. y! X6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area+ U6 Q9 `/ ^3 {) P7 t
% e$ U. W! b3 M) c* q- W
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
R2 b9 }- I9 x' j- ?2 H, p/ |, g8 r* l$ G. y; [4 Q0 A
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask7 g6 ~' l" V1 w. p4 J4 A
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
1 U+ X9 C* C& l, O5 q" a8 s3 _
& b7 j \ C9 c8 m9 m* u9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.4 M" h/ Y! |# D7 r7 K
+ d( R9 {& W% N' g' F10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.0 M4 Q1 \& [0 j6 L0 V4 B7 j7 j
" T% |3 f8 G7 F$ @9 Q' T11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.: P# N. ?# j f- L3 T& M" o B1 M
1 n& o) b: ], l8 q/ A- e* m1 p
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
" s, i! ]1 t2 s. r8 k1 X5 w
& S$ {! ~) e% u- ?8 Y13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!# M, Z2 f+ `( V
9 N0 T. b# u- c, x* r. O# M
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!* ^9 S- e. D8 l: W8 ~6 S
9 n& |+ e( y1 i% v$ Z/ w' M: |And; last, but not least!)
6 s: X2 U8 d; H0 q15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|