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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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# {8 f9 R3 R# ?, B, q1 i0 oThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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' j ]5 a0 \6 _+ ~: e: H2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.5 P4 }2 E H1 H
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.0 a, A5 m3 B# `! H- x7 M8 @
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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7 A+ t6 S7 z5 q5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.# D4 J& o% ?& J1 t0 f
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. H; T; {/ }& |6 P* L8 G! @6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area9 U+ f# u9 p# F- @9 u
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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2 a" q5 d' T# }4 J8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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) ^% i2 @0 s$ C% f( G9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.& K* y3 ? ?+ m
7 F( ~- A) q- }# {, ]7 b6 m10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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4 ~0 A5 q0 O9 O; m$ ~12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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& K8 ?) R0 n4 S: C/ ~13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!. f/ d5 {$ Y& a$ T
+ _8 X, w: Y. k! ?; N14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
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