Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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9 C, a5 u/ Z  ?We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

; a7 l: _% z3 c) ]One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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, Q5 X5 [% A) V( v* P, RYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

) r+ s" u8 A' m7 [. [If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

, R! w% X$ Z6 n9 q/ F, yIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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9 m, n8 y5 x" }3 V: O2 EIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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& w- m% U" U6 K! i  F) }! ^We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

* q. `- r8 X  g. h! \' yThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

6 s5 S8 P0 K4 v' yLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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4 t9 Z9 A0 L/ d' O/ cThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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+ \: M8 d. |% j8 D/ rAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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) N1 ~' U# }; z9 h, h. LDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

1 m" ^4 R; P9 Q( d2 \, T  AIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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2 o$ k- X1 J" W/ R4 w, mHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

4 c( b5 s  d8 gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
4 v6 l' a& S/ {7 yHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane