Crazy English! Zt

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# S8 o! d& Q' O9 q$ c; L  `$ vCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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* x& H# E; K+ H$ NOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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% x. p3 a4 Q: FIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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" n, w) b( N) v3 S9 U% N7 f. TIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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% D9 X& l( C  b2 b) z: CIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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! X  E+ _& r! K8 D9 PThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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* a* {- n8 c% Z* SLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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5 }/ U* m6 `% i7 w* u9 j  \; YThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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; ~+ a$ b+ }% C" DDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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9 ^% ~; \1 K3 E* |1 b7 O4 NIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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% x$ C) K. Z+ {  i9 bShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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5 W4 f( ]- e& a" l* ~How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane