Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

4 b& N/ |( M8 B$ D* Q, b! \One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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* p( i* N8 e* A! lYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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! i  ~6 i# c7 u. W& i* [: UIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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7 Y: I1 l; a" n8 E/ B2 q+ _If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

7 `8 U$ J" P% D; nThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

' q+ w+ K8 w9 Y+ T5 cWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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' h$ ~' a  _0 m( y* C7 X1 `7 _3 O8 WLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

" y$ V6 I& |" K0 f/ ~) k; D, l- S% ]Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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  `% c' I- L9 p8 yIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

' }9 Y& q+ Z9 @$ u* ]If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?

$ S. i+ r+ L' Z. fHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
) q% ?+ q& O/ ~1 L& zHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane