 鲜花( 0)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
ZT" s! t1 E1 m$ l& I6 A
1 J# j; T9 A5 D/ e d, ?) @
5 `' @1 X d2 ]/ tCrazy English!
4 u. g6 w7 H* y6 v
4 t5 r" O: m: o2 l2 ^) l1 |We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
3 G, y" r2 [# f' g1 i) `' U) y6 F+ X" r
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.4 C! D6 y) o* W. P1 d" e0 z
# S0 [9 X0 y8 k8 D
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. ~/ i' Q; I3 N8 X! w
+ i8 \3 Y8 H& h- l6 k6 `! a6 q0 WIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?7 \- x2 ], W1 Z6 H( Y
7 H1 s; p4 `' j7 p
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?5 d3 b/ H" x) a7 x9 H- s& X
4 L$ N& R0 Q0 _+ z3 V. S% M+ h& B* U
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?5 `, M' |- E: W" `, t+ B
4 q; ~ A x5 y" j s2 |( qThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
1 Z7 N' }8 @% `" p$ b, `! D. b t. v) y4 V) F, }- _. c
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.7 Q4 k8 I9 j9 X
9 i3 D( E) }0 o6 i& T
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.1 |) D0 ^6 x7 |8 i G# ]
4 y! ^9 j _0 Z( n S' X+ }- l; A
Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
6 Z8 M- b3 `5 a+ b- r* g7 ?' H1 A: b; g1 d
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
# A3 l" G6 x4 O# X7 J
; R- z/ g8 ~) W; J, z) D7 `And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?1 t, W& A; R, B) Y
( o) P, @2 D4 Z! C4 o! m2 _
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?6 ~; w4 B2 R1 o8 u4 z, V2 `1 |* r: E
1 R0 s+ s' ?& \' u/ MIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?' [. A% J' Q+ G, ]( ^4 D) v; x
4 p8 U$ p+ l; |$ z9 b
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?' x- V! N7 B: w
+ n, g8 { K- F6 A/ i) z
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
, Y C& L: u, R! X5 P$ ]3 {: o
- @) f+ m( ?- X7 ?In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
% b& `, E. J2 W5 ^
* P% }& N( n; a& C3 zShip by truck and send cargo by ship?" w& G0 r: |% `0 y6 C8 W
& F- h( }6 F" p- n/ K9 M( `3 _) @$ ~Have noses that run and feet that smell?
& D" p) w3 z+ i/ a. R) k
$ u: D' [! E& r+ GHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?: `' U; m3 R" B% }; `( H7 t$ t
& N8 \" v: O7 r3 n( ^
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
* f/ L* y, ^, b3 f5 f) v2 v- G( DHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!: A+ v6 T3 V n1 F" o9 ~
1 J/ u% B7 }) e J+ u7 G
Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
|