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Crazy English!% ^( K. e$ a; \9 n2 A7 b
4 A( N# s6 m( `* C5 c/ {We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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2 e5 A$ X5 k# F+ qIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?) S4 G- @9 S' [* ]9 ]6 Z& x1 @
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?, d* [. _; X6 b6 I9 r) O
0 r- n2 }. I. y7 ]) \ OIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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3 i& C- H0 e# @; U5 ~! |Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.9 o( h' I v0 h, U
1 I! }) x/ m! Z# ?" F. S' |2 xLet's face it, English is a crazy language!2 N8 G6 z& A1 p2 O& {) k+ g5 Y6 X* |& _, I
3 r4 _6 {" b( l+ a+ fThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?; u! x' w* d+ l! H8 P [
# U* L8 T' R% ^' ~( hDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?& C _ l ]; [6 w( U
) X) Q4 f2 H9 n- u0 QIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?0 \2 Z( w; D& E* e* x6 \
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?4 d, ?" W1 g! [, D
4 ^" l5 ?6 m3 u7 _1 W+ CShip by truck and send cargo by ship?0 o1 S7 ^5 }, s; ]- }: \
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?) k- j, z2 ^% B- g s3 N# X, O
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your5 p) V2 T+ _% \* v
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!8 T; i9 r7 E* v' Q% C5 b: z
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55
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