Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

2 I8 x4 L7 B/ ^We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

! `! H/ o# x/ }2 J( O/ vOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

+ Q, p( |% t. F5 t' a* CIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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" W2 C. g" U6 d9 \# U. P' kIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

7 v5 z  h1 z6 t3 q; CThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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4 Q+ d& d, D5 GIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

" d! z" C& s! y5 Z$ F* ^" gIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

0 G% ^/ M% i0 C6 U, b! z# VHave noses that run and feet that smell?

" K: W1 z, p5 W* N: P$ DHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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6 b2 J' ]3 }5 I6 {& E, zYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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& Z, N- J6 G; m, {Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane