Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 y" ?+ ?  \' W8 M4 XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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+ y) J- S& D; \0 U" }, {3 gJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) x; h# Z! h9 T7 x" s" p( u9 N5 W8 FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ S3 n' V& ?' O  x5 B& ?% ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 Q% B0 u. B+ u9 wRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ r3 H! B7 K$ Q" ^6 q3 PThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  X, {2 ^* O1 ]6 a  Z+ UMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' e! t+ A7 V# {0 D! _/ Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' ?3 E: E. S. e: Q3 z* Bin case, this time, the screams from
2 ^+ {6 j  s9 k( e3 w5 Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 A0 }% Y2 q; q. ]7 ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: o+ S, C3 w2 oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  M" O9 E& N, {- ~( y5 Zan embarrassment the next.
8 J# q3 H! R* Y! O, C% z7 DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" F5 H; }7 R( y; f* bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 L$ U6 R/ e8 J6 \the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ `% L: r9 w8 P3 [9 z* h7 r7 Zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 e# d$ M% r' I( m% z% ^2 z( nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 t( T/ k6 D- ?7 W/ gNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
( b' ?: }1 {  r# s3 ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% [" ]: P, e7 Y* ?# E! Z9 nGet this! You pay them!
# ~/ Y8 U6 e5 z3 I4 W/ {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  `7 J# t9 P7 P8 H+ c# a6 N2 F$ }9 da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; P/ [5 b0 \% T* uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" {/ Q9 Q0 k' E! @, EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: [; z; }) y( R5 P- u& g) Xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
) j) E& u+ k8 Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 _9 X/ |% C+ O* f  n
* i3 g* d% U; @% C$ |4 J' a4 munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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# ?- U% [/ d2 T8 h" Rfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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# X1 B& o# |3 H. aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
: W) e/ ^: p) s% mfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.