Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 q3 |5 A- B$ K) ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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" k# y6 `; A9 h; |, f/ RJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& w( @  }7 a! V' [' N/ Y+ Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ T; {% v' {1 K' a0 k2 \8 aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# S: k' _) b5 {, [: c* f  p) YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 N% v+ t, ^& ]5 ^+ l$ z1 jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 D& w6 t( l* w7 I- ^0 _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

8 W, k$ A7 q7 D! R+ S7 a6 ^+ X, |RESPONSIBILITIES:
0 ]: x; [* L$ C) R5 a% S" kThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 a0 v: ^: Z: U% F$ B- ?- @% F) ?; PAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& |% z0 `8 i  V; Q0 pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( F+ v' H+ ?2 z( whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 I1 R* E% f8 h3 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 b( R9 O9 c; f( |the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

. O1 M) `' x1 @7 {$ n* HPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
0 a4 N* f" @. w9 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' C/ e! k; V/ O, Y2 l6 v8 ~can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 K9 k3 U* [, k) E4 V. S/ \0 hNone required, unfortunately.
0 A- ~# A$ s2 _3 uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

( ?3 }/ s# B1 {# H# CWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) Q; t: ]. y( C3 P- nof the assumption that college will help them
" _' c! n2 u/ n7 l6 m; G% Qbecome financially independent.
$ A! I. n' G3 A6 tWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ F5 i( I( |6 S; |! S# [, Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 u0 n5 K6 ?; c& f& t1 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" r; u3 O5 s* p( Tno stock options are offered,
6 C1 W( m. G, Wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 r* p, c2 d0 Dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



6 ^6 {2 _0 E, p8 ^& YForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 T! @# f" y2 r" i+ c. \or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.