 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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8 E. G1 f$ R6 Y' G* s# p5 r9 d) NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 0 R" H' }0 v1 @" g4 D! n
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:+ T! [! j5 Z3 Y6 x' A! |7 x" n
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 X$ i$ X$ L9 i* f3 ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 5 l$ `6 ]: F0 ]% J
Candidates must possess excellent communication 2 A; N$ {; C) B5 d* U* \
and organizational skills and be willing to work : a! X5 G; Z0 f. P: C8 g# D( Z# B5 E
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% y6 L# h/ b8 p" n G6 k' ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* j5 \! N# B; [9 l3 KSome overnight travel required, including trips to
1 t1 |* W6 I: ~2 ?primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and T5 W Y) e* p3 N
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! / A c' J2 T8 B% j: ]" n* f
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 0 D& t( b* X. ~ W7 | d
Extensive courier duties also required. + I/ G; f; q* d0 F& ` k
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ ?4 z6 U5 ]0 A E4 a! w# FThe rest of your life.
' s U6 d& F2 iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 \% C% a2 w6 l: F O8 B! y% Runtil someone needs $5. 4 i1 J% `+ U) O7 K
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ {; I3 P. Q6 t$ o) W/ }9 fAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ( a# _3 z: l; r R" o; m1 w
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat $ o5 G; p1 k! B, C/ c
in case, this time, the screams from
# s+ a: m5 B% B! h1 tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% z5 }# O# K ]7 {5 [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 i8 s# t8 M0 N* `# G% |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# F8 z' E" ^+ B- L' sand stuck zippers. 2 |8 j, T, }4 ?- |- } U! B) }8 e
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 5 a. h& [& X: m2 ?4 x# c4 g0 T
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# R& ~+ |5 A4 A6 ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, l5 \- y: L+ n( x4 t6 d3 L+ _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* u3 y" O! o3 o9 Wan embarrassment the next. 1 Y: A2 {" d/ |* T
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; j/ ]& R+ z( K8 g: ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& f+ x7 V' ?1 ~& E$ Q5 qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 5 Z" D/ ]% z6 d' Y- |( d/ m/ [" b
Must assume final, complete accountability for
y3 T- X! P: y9 m) l ^- Y4 Hthe quality of the end product. 0 L, B' |" z5 s. p: Q
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 5 t2 y" B9 n# ~6 M3 X
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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6 O4 w' q6 r9 K$ u5 K1 Q, \POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:7 J5 H* w& d0 O+ z, b3 i
None. % @# C* L. I, K0 N6 R$ h
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* e$ y* ^( Z9 Z" s! c! n3 Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; m0 a0 o6 E9 |" H' ^( Eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 0 l! a) P/ E$ P8 ^+ y" h# f
can ultimately surpass you.; q. S0 d* ~; V/ p5 f W
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( k+ s" M8 v/ W1 W3 E9 w% I! fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 O! {% k, |% r5 vNone required, unfortunately.
: V. j, @ ?4 n. c C( }/ A+ H4 zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 6 F9 Q- b0 G0 m
Get this! You pay them! ; D5 D6 M1 n* E9 }' X
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. + F4 _0 C0 y! t6 |9 a
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 6 P g$ z: W2 l: M4 W+ x
of the assumption that college will help them ! X, H& I; ~1 J& p' ]5 R0 i
become financially independent. - n: Y7 W% l% t7 [* [
When you die, you give them whatever is left. / Y/ C4 e9 P1 t$ o V5 f |) G4 G
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that % ?. r2 t3 k. P, e" q
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. & l* b+ x" `/ V: I; C4 j
8 S( g$ |. h/ |0 x! Y1 Q9 rBENEFITS:
4 A$ Z# V1 O+ kWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, _. n; w2 n0 V! Z! f
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ' U; u, d7 ]8 }
no stock options are offered,* D' p# J" L; x* h
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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% h. z4 S3 v+ ~5 s5 Bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.; i( \% l3 a7 m! v% Y! j6 F* R0 i
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 b, ]0 e+ t wletting them know they are appreciated
: J' g [# T: E9 c' n9 O! Ffor the fabulous job they do...
0 n1 Q! L! t, U' _# G& A8 o, _( s! Por forward with love : {. F1 C5 ^: F* ^- a( e2 F
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
