Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- ?: P1 h% |( s: v2 l- UJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 x  K3 Z0 l. A' D. gLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. o  E: T+ f, M$ Y, R2 {$ S1 {and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 U' W9 S: ^- N' `* Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' q& t" b0 M! [1 \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* o) h/ }2 `) Q$ dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# [1 ?4 {* t8 T2 MTravel expenses not reimbursed.
' l0 J# ^6 s" \  KExtensive courier duties also required.

5 X! C1 L8 ?" {- F* KRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( K  G6 ?" V% f2 E: C* g$ _  luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* C; p3 R( U+ d3 r- O  ?- |& U3 ]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
5 P1 T- d# s# F- C* Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& x+ O9 [2 B, d' I+ _; g9 qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ W3 e/ h# `4 U+ W& Gand stuck zippers.
- J& T0 I$ {5 a4 N+ U. c$ \4 b2 q( CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! J! b: I0 @% [9 ?/ o# ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* Y% s& X0 p* n* c" r  jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 J8 p4 }5 ]+ `6 O/ hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! t, z6 \: E2 K  i* yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: N9 h6 ~7 r1 I& Q2 ]7 z' Nthe quality of the end product.
& S0 g" S7 I4 H4 P1 w3 WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: n3 B; J( G7 @1 U8 C/ j+ h' Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 F6 W6 c- V2 {( n/ j" P5 ?9 w; wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: Q- D- O3 S$ X% J) UNone.
9 t; X% E0 Y6 J: M/ fYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 {. M# f6 X/ G  d3 ?1 fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


; p% k! N) W# J! U% @' FPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. Q$ ], {) e9 v. NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 d4 x7 r; X) g4 O, b& c& vGet this! You pay them!
+ R2 ]2 ?/ a# C1 {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, K: ]) B& u) J0 P- c+ e8 y0 f( Fbecome financially independent.
) c$ A7 z! V3 }+ p8 l$ [) G- }& X" aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
* {1 @3 ^8 j, |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 |. K3 K7 Y, ?" _& BBENEFITS:
' @. w8 G4 _4 Y1 U" x4 JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 O+ y* {+ t" ]7 J( vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% ?- H. j# Y. a/ [- ]2 gno stock options are offered,
8 F. y: p3 P! f( ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# h" C0 `& e  ~( A2 Y8 Ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

& Z: Z  _9 p4 M2 Q% ]/ A3 Efor life if you play your cards right.

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- I7 y' j6 F; p( j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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! J# t* t( r9 wForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& H! j5 }' u: yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
" |$ n% k; I# [- q4 yor forward with love
* B* Z" S3 u6 gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.