Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 W  _( {) N4 n. [9 fMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. e. x3 m; _2 c  U/ }9 wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
, _  O8 M' ~* Q. V

1 I  ^" H( T4 ?$ P! [$ i2 XJOB DESCRIPTION:
" k4 j6 [. {( p, u+ r: g/ ILong term, team players needed for challenging,

5 o' C2 G: H4 }3 cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. A/ k9 W& `3 N7 T; P# cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! [& g/ a: y$ M$ q# K! RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( I9 ]! M3 X; {% n& ~+ F# \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" J% k9 U2 U* Jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* {- B: C9 w6 y& R: ]: T# WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
7 m& f$ Y2 |8 C5 W6 G
3 t0 o9 U) W3 H. _" ERESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 z$ v  O5 y! @7 i1 F- kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 d! p! _7 }4 B$ B4 vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ I& u. X* _/ c) |( U0 W  _and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 X% G7 i. C7 I0 a- Can embarrassment the next.
: D  f, u9 M0 z; OMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 _- P% [) [! z$ r( q* }half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! v8 d& l0 ]$ ?% u6 LMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

% P" X0 ?' D- p" l, @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, Q- ]) [2 v% u3 qNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* H. m% P+ z# K! X( }Get this! You pay them!
" Q7 R9 j! t5 W* EOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( a3 r0 |% h# ?" F8 Da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 ?7 C- m8 p7 ^( e% jof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* |& n( K' K5 i! n, jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: X/ i! Y8 U/ f. d% |9 o. [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% {# |& K2 \- u1 r/ ]' O# V$ bno stock options are offered,
2 t1 L/ P+ E) Y( H2 d6 N% j% |5 |3 \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( U, p$ |0 X, v3 S! r3 m) Z" {2 m
; n7 v3 J+ C! Z0 I' ]9 Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

3 l+ a* W6 @1 }5 u1 K. q* ?  c


6 i, }) Z% M0 |2 r** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

2 X# C! z1 U, C% C/ x  B7 K

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* Y/ x: c/ `- t$ wletting them know they are appreciated
8 P$ e3 W, m5 q) i: ?+ Pfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, _2 g* e# m5 c1 I( c0 ~to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

$ R) Y9 _; b0 |- d$ t2 H

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.