 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 I; K" B/ C3 |2 f2 A" G( z# vDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa6 Z1 b7 ^" H' U) A4 {
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: u4 y2 Q! r+ h& _% X- Y0 eJOB DESCRIPTION:) C7 w, A+ L7 O
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 7 m% d5 a! K2 Q: h3 ?# q
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; U1 q( I& a! G* Yand organizational skills and be willing to work 8 f: G! H s4 @( p2 g+ n9 `! z
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. c0 B6 Q2 ?0 V6 V5 J Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ ?" B# P. o* @, }% @2 OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# R2 w. P! F& j. K6 s" sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" \- v/ L% g. w. a5 V, |) B- W8 Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; q7 T/ d% c/ _6 U% QTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 ]1 m# ^* c% y) e0 I- pExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 x/ _) a! j3 i! r4 E6 l1 XThe rest of your life.
+ ?4 r2 Q2 [) l1 ]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" H$ N: r/ ]4 c8 d( g+ x v7 ]4 _' Yuntil someone needs $5.
6 Y { W$ h" G' C9 D |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! i" `; n% M6 E ~& b. vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! F! Q; N3 X) O* e9 V6 \; Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* ~- F# {% |( qin case, this time, the screams from
( Q% x, d( P, D- vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. / ^$ y/ j. \' b
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" a7 ^2 m# g+ r9 vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 d7 v# Z3 Y/ W3 B5 I
and stuck zippers. ( W9 k) M" N3 u' I
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ! }& t4 s/ v) j+ E \/ K2 ?
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ F, F7 B: ^; T, E/ |) t" S- bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
m( ]9 T K& ~2 \; w6 bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" @& N. c) W# R! Ian embarrassment the next. 6 N- L: \" \! S6 \ T" s7 D
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 2 s& j" c- J- L7 ^! ^; g6 K
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' w6 [9 v) z. [5 jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- l R0 n& g& BMust assume final, complete accountability for
' _% I8 e8 n! a7 i3 pthe quality of the end product. + i% N: f* w: s9 E2 _& {' a
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 [' ]& o3 L. I1 Ojanitorial work throughout the facility. 8 F- C; @3 ^' D) I
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:$ T4 [! L8 P) s; j# H) @. m
None. 4 }/ W7 }0 ?, W$ z8 d
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 9 v1 i( s2 [2 C0 {
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 y# j* r: v1 E3 Q* m0 {updating your skills, so that those in your charge 9 n) I9 b; P$ F4 U, p, X7 T
can ultimately surpass you.
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6 Y& ~* h+ O* d+ U7 d2 g' GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: N$ o% X |( t3 l# f, M( PNone required, unfortunately. # @5 N8 n$ Q0 ]
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: , s+ w1 {( r7 y! F
Get this! You pay them!
) @' [7 R; @- kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 V- F }( L4 {9 v3 s2 W5 Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because - x; b0 L0 P) e7 s% |# m! ?. R
of the assumption that college will help them
& N. W; _# D- J- U! zbecome financially independent. " n) h% j( c6 |. i
When you die, you give them whatever is left. ; a# E8 W! |/ E8 t! L
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) K6 ?3 T- z4 E; J$ Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: 3 s( g& \; r7 x s3 C8 j" A
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# A) Z2 z$ `5 c/ l, @& x; o4 Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and . ]' n" r, J1 h3 P: P" T
no stock options are offered,
) ]' `, P8 y( p8 n- Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ; b( A/ x) [% X9 W: ^ s( ]
, h0 L" U/ w1 L k6 @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 2 U j) m, |6 X' U
& p% Y+ o6 P" ?! }; `. T) a) |( J$ ]for life if you play your cards right. q( V9 Q6 P" o# M1 Q8 S
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# Q' f* H* M! I" z8 R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" T- w' W. l% t& b0 h- @Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ X9 a4 w6 x. Y& B$ p! W& uletting them know they are appreciated 8 t9 d/ X0 l. I6 ^9 |+ W
for the fabulous job they do... # F% ^; u4 S% ?
or forward with love
1 ]& I4 k; T6 w0 \0 r) S8 n) B. Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.& a& G( ^, v: [4 t4 Z0 T
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
