 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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$ {' H8 v2 `. y8 Y6 s- u, xMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 ~% m! S5 z. ~ {: n: qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa2 G8 x1 H/ T' x0 Z/ d# R8 `
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0 ]8 |( F8 [1 b& y; Z. @5 ]JOB DESCRIPTION:* U1 M! B0 B q) {
Long term, team players needed for challenging,- b4 E) D5 K( M) u+ C, X( h6 `
6 g; d; _8 \. t& t1 epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" Q8 b4 h, G5 YCandidates must possess excellent communication
0 d: H* g; N4 |0 ~& Z1 yand organizational skills and be willing to work / a0 h- x) f9 f, O! L7 O
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 0 S& Y* r% F! |4 ^2 }: r# x
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
_& x9 u$ ]0 _+ K2 k4 \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( E% D1 s8 w- Q6 ?primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ f0 {$ r" H& s8 o" Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 5 J n! @5 x" l/ P9 P3 l# R6 V
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
: d0 B2 s6 e+ e5 c: t! e CExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
0 {; I8 O; r( CThe rest of your life. 2 k/ l/ k; b9 }0 Q
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 P& Z" T% W. U( v6 {5 [6 Uuntil someone needs $5.
. v1 @7 l1 f5 C* @Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. " X, h Q% S4 e8 x
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule - \. F) I" Z+ A7 ]
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: X3 C$ j v' L7 V& J1 ?, m: Oin case, this time, the screams from
! g' x3 C t8 x) O* I+ c/ n1 Bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ) d I# u$ i% M' x/ v- X
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 S/ K7 P# p% u3 I+ N+ o; esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets * U0 `# w6 M6 r( Q+ Y
and stuck zippers.
& g/ J( ~' p) D6 r! t* F; QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and z4 L+ ]$ ~3 f% F7 ^9 C, A2 @- q
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ b# P; f$ b& F# {5 H' P. k' c2 iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. + t( @( P. Z) Z, H
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 8 ^5 U8 S6 g# o$ D
an embarrassment the next.
( F! [2 Y5 j. |8 m9 W, zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ; A, E! c7 w4 C9 q
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 B, P. h9 P( @# Q+ iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. / w9 V5 m3 s/ { X+ \% K
Must assume final, complete accountability for $ N, N u5 m% m/ ^
the quality of the end product.
6 A! n/ Q3 @2 T/ g& A2 m+ zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and % _/ X$ M+ Z) c1 p
janitorial work throughout the facility. ( |/ z9 C' N2 M: B
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:; v3 I5 S. _7 i5 H" ^# g
None.
. Y8 `+ p& H( g, iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* f* R: k. X3 n( e1 ]8 R( ~without complaining,constantly retraining and 7 q1 B1 [7 F: o4 l m U3 v1 }' V
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, Y9 J1 A% b# D! J8 d6 [can ultimately surpass you.% I& e8 r3 Y' s1 O( Z: Y% f- {4 b2 {" S+ d
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: : u' u/ i2 B& q$ O
None required, unfortunately. 8 K5 t4 i+ g" v L8 ^/ U
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 1 D2 X/ u. M& M; o+ g% G- k% h2 y
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 l" y) D: p& n; z7 NGet this! You pay them! 2 U* L' ~- F: d1 o
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. & L, f$ g' `% v7 {
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# g& @0 @7 l/ g6 nof the assumption that college will help them % K) _1 g- S1 y
become financially independent. % ~( J: N; ?8 J
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! y7 Q4 F7 X, `5 i# s# EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that {/ W7 L6 G- N$ k- W
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ' u1 x5 ?6 S( {2 p2 r% d' K2 m
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BENEFITS:
5 l1 E! t8 k$ y/ l6 w" X. ^While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, + U% ^4 h2 S/ k
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ( e8 j# Z" `2 v- h" E; k+ m: |$ }
no stock options are offered,
" P9 U% \. C% E, o; Y1 Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, , n: e" k4 O5 @# n8 |: ^
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 5 t) Y; N) k2 L6 e
0 g& F# G) ~0 f7 C6 s8 ofor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, . u" ~; h }8 M( K
letting them know they are appreciated
8 V! U2 k: Q w# o6 }for the fabulous job they do...
- p4 m$ n) d! b, g4 _) W! Dor forward with love
; w& a( D4 A4 Hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.; L- H, W/ C. ^
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
