Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* f1 D  M3 {, _9 YMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 c' W- u' b, k! a; wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


( ~* n( V( H+ f8 u( |JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
! m8 a( Q' I9 o$ i% Q3 \8 ?8 Rand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 T2 X# O. ?& ?2 b: ^% Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( Y3 [2 z  N* Z$ C& [. j, FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( a. @, o* J, W: V- X8 S3 Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' s' c- B1 Q1 s7 y) l0 f8 S9 Jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 P+ l0 h" H4 g3 HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

6 Y1 N# @. |2 f$ ^7 R* ~3 s; xRESPONSIBILITIES:
' l; D* x# f  _! ~+ x. iThe rest of your life.
% r4 B1 D* O- w1 C! j& C+ Z( }: lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ O$ G5 V: T* suntil someone needs $5.
/ @; Q" \7 b  l7 v+ p* FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& i( t# x+ }: B0 b, G% _. cin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 s/ C2 G+ d7 u$ K2 M. o  ~5 t. bMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& ?$ d: D( Q+ H- q; R: k# |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' @- j# o! g5 Q2 n; gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! J) i7 k3 ~8 m9 dMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! X+ L6 q1 x. z  l$ _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 [! `, Z1 H# s- iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 C- B4 H, m$ T* o8 V: rMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 M( h* M+ L' E7 XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
( I; a7 |4 T) K) tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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% h9 a2 x0 q0 mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 S5 N6 p% G+ t/ \7 c1 Q1 V& XNone required, unfortunately.
! F0 s# n6 Y$ y6 N. U: q0 E4 c8 yOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 J. }8 G3 k: Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 ~$ }- X5 D' q2 J% c( Nof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
7 M9 R5 {7 E! l' g, n3 I! H( ?' @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 ]/ M( G; `6 m" C: L! y( xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- A% C. N/ d; J
- P4 ]" k6 w- H( Y2 dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. ?. c6 A. b6 B1 R- e/ b" Ifor life if you play your cards right.

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/ ]( j- o, D  \
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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) N5 H' r) A: UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
. y2 _! M7 A/ @: }* t, H2 g+ f' Ifor the fabulous job they do...
4 i, }. p9 g9 K) j9 ]7 aor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.