Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
7 E7 A" y4 M, N' Q2 k. ?+ B* U) SLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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; f2 ^6 ?) d0 _7 Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 d1 }2 d, p0 }% ]0 R4 qand organizational skills and be willing to work
6 O9 l. V9 ]% c; J7 Svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" l8 K) v) r9 S0 q3 W8 Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* \  ^4 Z9 N3 N) w; C) {primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ k! j7 C. s/ @' V% E+ ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' v2 f6 {0 L1 R1 PMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 F. s. v+ W6 J- Z2 w( funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  U. [2 {3 R( m' jAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
  S1 B) }/ d* E& l, h: m2 z( E. ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 e( }6 }. m' N: T% W; fMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; L- j) X& U9 f! i# |3 x# r. U% q9 Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 R! y# T2 Z' x7 e) Rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  _. Z3 Q" z+ ]  Z: t$ mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. ~4 R, T2 G/ ?( [' RMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 B  z/ m) X) S7 b3 ]- San embarrassment the next.
& x' w0 u" A, w& O+ Z# m4 uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" [. Z  F, M- ]. e& d* p7 Q! y) XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& s, ?0 x) X' N( A' x5 |! l- k$ F: fMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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( \6 G& [9 c- a5 i* `+ K! N1 Z- EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- a* h3 U+ S- t/ m+ fNone.
7 h. f5 P4 H" aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 j3 g2 P% q# @* f; W0 }without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' p+ S' A. w* G: V" `# g! R$ P0 QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 q3 ~: O8 W* d, W0 yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
! e. x. d* K' a% J( {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ `+ ^2 ]0 ~" R& Lof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: g" Q2 H- G' q3 ^, _BENEFITS:
) v, m  i8 E1 s( T( _, k6 J% b5 M+ S" U7 `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 I& p. C; y& s0 h3 |9 V' X; Y7 @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
/ ]. A" c7 q6 f# R- P% v) mfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.