Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  P5 {& K3 U) WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. `$ t% a# Z5 ?) k3 J; Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 [. R9 K+ L/ i. @3 K: ^6 JCandidates must possess excellent communication
: n& v  [  H# v  Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
) W/ z; S9 ?1 n8 d) A% m/ h: }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- B: o0 F2 n8 _3 [( n  `primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( E! W6 X, X! @) u& jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
: W5 p1 V8 i; I1 @. f, |Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 }3 V* R4 _% E& j9 S6 uMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& V  k: e. ^* U5 V$ z. {2 Nuntil someone needs $5.
' a0 q9 c0 u1 s! i! Z+ C' g' dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- `9 j$ o/ C: h- f3 L5 gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( Z; \6 ?. ~+ C2 C; a8 z& ^- \) h1 ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 ~( Q1 g% E* `1 n$ X% mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
1 t0 l% Q% h" V: x8 s8 gMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 Y" s/ O" D  K5 D! i- Z, Z- Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 _# F/ x, U( Y1 `Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ a. A: k. P( A! g7 KMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 O5 }1 _3 B7 pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* w8 x" M- P0 i8 Z, `Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 Z" y' M2 _& w5 Iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


* o8 k$ i6 p- Z3 U+ [, ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
: F+ T8 V4 n/ {3 XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 c" j8 B* V, X& R2 G% U: L- s6 yWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
& m! [2 c0 l5 i* QGet this! You pay them!
. R+ G4 [1 ?3 L7 V, Z' ~Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 f9 g, J/ o: n1 R* m3 z& Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 n3 r3 ]$ y9 R0 N8 f, a+ gof the assumption that college will help them
+ `  z* x# F& ~. _# Ubecome financially independent.
+ t9 {4 c# o1 sWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 d+ Q. t. {, O' Y6 w! o1 G7 KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% K/ }# R% y: S9 P3 [! uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 R3 h+ X& k+ I% X3 W# ?# E8 B+ ^BENEFITS:
/ ?+ ?9 m6 [+ M  p" oWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 N8 k  r# M7 {/ K# {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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5 Y! f1 p+ G: c# f9 w! m5 `. j$ qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ ]$ t" p% S8 Kletting them know they are appreciated
, x% J+ q- y7 H# d, dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.