Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! u; X' ?9 l+ I( \) u+ G4 X! MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
, e. h/ L  G% M: c
9 ]# R; F# m( I7 o( }; I& o
5 q+ q2 d4 y+ v3 [4 [4 M# z* v* {JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 ?8 F2 }  n- _9 `( S( e( sLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 I3 s" x) z4 d. MCandidates must possess excellent communication
( E0 {* O% U9 Zand organizational skills and be willing to work
2 w& K' y6 ~2 {0 S( |* ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" w& |4 d- I. S+ k6 ]! p* @, U; GExtensive courier duties also required.

3 @* m$ C0 ^, @8 y( oRESPONSIBILITIES:
# y' O4 Y' G! V/ l- A1 BThe rest of your life.
5 T7 P7 Z) f( k0 X& j" k2 RMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! x+ |4 X. y& Z. suntil someone needs $5.
; {, x5 b5 Q  t5 \# nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 Z& p' q, [6 i4 `! s( T' sAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 G+ z- n8 Y, |3 x9 p. m" T, xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 \7 c6 u  u/ E1 \0 c( M. |) Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 k6 S! `7 Z, i7 B5 PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" G7 j# @- A# \" z" U3 GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* N8 J) l6 G7 h7 v1 N, N( i& _Must assume final, complete accountability for
; Q' W5 S7 n3 f+ d; O4 G) athe quality of the end product.
, B9 {) ^# L7 sResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' d+ D5 B; v/ s" {* X6 r: E/ B8 i4 NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- ~% z/ B. ]3 Q3 |without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
& ~$ G; ~4 k8 N/ w2 X
+ s, }+ o: `: [+ [' r
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 r: m2 A8 W  }6 a* ENone required, unfortunately.
" x+ a  X" X( G% U6 cOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
9 c1 q, e: W1 A) T
$ H- |- h  r& aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% b( ]4 r, g" x4 l8 \' ?of the assumption that college will help them
  @$ z0 v+ `. A2 [become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  a  l1 e" U  K0 |" n  _/ `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
9 G  r8 c0 I- a  B4 b0 \6 r1 T
" x4 M2 O9 V3 u, b* ]* |BENEFITS:
) r; J" X# o7 E9 O) h8 X5 R$ UWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 U5 ?' ]9 Y0 E% wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

1 l* C. k# ~# J+ hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
" c) S( q- Z  i/ Z2 B( \) p


2 S9 a1 h$ X/ r- a3 Y3 Z; D; U/ r
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
0 T% H! a1 H% X7 V: k
: Y' p0 }2 S, q) Q( ~

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 _  j* K5 y9 w3 ^+ c, J; }) }for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ T9 ^& e  A' v

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.