Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  X9 y& ?$ K6 v4 G% |/ F5 ?/ p3 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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( {( G0 g0 j6 Z" ?6 E" sJOB DESCRIPTION:
- T6 I% c8 E1 s6 f* j8 Y( _3 iLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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  O$ S0 C: d. apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, x8 ]: k/ g; K: y# `# `and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 ]9 G+ `  V( u) ^variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: O* y( Q* F: X2 W4 B3 PSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 N0 v) H: l" w* Y! jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 @1 W9 ^6 B7 D  D0 Z- ]0 YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

0 ]8 [) Q, N: l0 F+ j8 bRESPONSIBILITIES:
: R5 n7 l4 M6 M% X# n$ U; EThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- E" Z& s- Z  N$ d" r  u8 MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
1 Y/ J3 s. k$ R2 k5 cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 R5 b8 |: F( `- D" @; n2 HMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 ?; y" F7 e  U4 P" w( [" Wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ ^! e) X/ k+ |3 {, i1 V- \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; f! R- t; w7 X4 [Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ w. h: L& q4 l" S. P, zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ {8 V0 f& c- [* p. Z) khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" K4 Q# c5 R. s+ ^# j) d  u3 g3 L# ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 N5 q8 k# z& xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# j0 e7 O: o1 ]7 N" L# M& A  _$ \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 u6 e3 q5 b4 S+ h, }* [without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 i6 }5 b! V  ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 Q! T" n3 X5 Ocan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
( u3 l/ }$ ]/ ?3 O  Rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 ]8 z' o- H* l8 X" V) W' O8 B$ S% @4 `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 ]1 [8 m' K( cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 e  W4 X! V* p9 G, k4 ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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" b. c& m2 _/ u1 I! |$ N- W. Aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
0 @' @, w" I" ^* n2 ^' [for the fabulous job they do...
! d0 u* b& v1 {6 i( ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.