 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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( e2 M* o+ Z; ^7 t9 pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 1 [& n+ D0 w: }6 W
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa2 N# f* {0 u. Q2 J
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5 U5 q6 @+ n: D. r! h* Y! i; R& PJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 _. d; @* }5 M3 _Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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- ?% x/ u% r6 Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# k, a- ?1 y. ]# |5 `4 p3 |$ K; xCandidates must possess excellent communication & h5 q$ o7 U5 t8 R
and organizational skills and be willing to work ; C4 o- T+ f3 W% ~. {6 c6 d
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 d y* v7 }# T3 J& @and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
u0 @" o7 P: [/ t2 y8 z& vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
; [% O4 [1 L- `+ C" Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 g5 h6 u$ e) W& Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 5 Q0 ^8 X( B) l q
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 0 U0 S; v, }) v* e$ b' R, W
Extensive courier duties also required. ' _6 v. X+ q4 K5 W5 Q/ c7 j
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ J& ^" q9 s- [, C( iThe rest of your life.
3 _3 u5 m6 n4 y# c4 X; i8 ^0 kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, - K3 r/ M$ S- m% _! e' l0 ]5 @( H
until someone needs $5.
4 c; @; l& O8 U, k. cMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. H, m s/ _4 P/ aAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ' d! O% \8 q" z9 Z. E
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: R% j1 v0 e5 }! @6 ~8 r8 xin case, this time, the screams from 5 z- Y# l$ A0 v$ Q4 d- I* ] _
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 0 {6 ~% K# \, r8 p% V
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 0 s) I3 f1 v4 E; `, x
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 I6 [ g0 u8 R' u$ gand stuck zippers.
; n- e/ c$ A" n d" Y) H6 @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: {7 u2 A& @+ X4 r, Y+ Q. wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: M7 x5 \1 {, g6 O- G& FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 5 X! s2 {* k9 t% u! E
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 4 B/ B& ^- U+ t: a8 N' K' a
an embarrassment the next. 8 s' t+ X9 ]) B! t$ d
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 Y1 r, H9 T$ j u9 {: h% f' ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 g4 t4 T$ S L9 I4 \* DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 h& G6 S0 X6 o, b$ M# bMust assume final, complete accountability for 3 n) {; J: X2 C2 h& X
the quality of the end product. * x) m3 b+ r" \
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 `. b' M4 I: ` B3 j6 V9 cjanitorial work throughout the facility. 9 }, I+ ^+ Y D5 {- B% S" i6 z2 p; o
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:8 v) N% u! x/ M" }
None.
3 u, L$ F. L; r7 S2 KYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 0 ]) j# b( O" G+ l0 _" a0 D
without complaining,constantly retraining and " G' M! C3 \6 I4 X
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
! O0 h! @! s: q0 Q$ kcan ultimately surpass you.5 `. r% Y1 W# _* M& ~3 c
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ' m$ T1 Y: I& L2 P& H- \0 s
None required, unfortunately.
( s Y4 b0 u: T w l1 i8 EOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. " A+ ~0 @& U0 R
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 H6 m5 L+ q+ q$ Q" ^ sGet this! You pay them! 8 l5 L/ {% W2 D$ q2 Y4 a" t; B
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ; ]) q) b9 }0 p2 _/ N2 C0 |
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 J# c1 K. U1 f8 Yof the assumption that college will help them ' R$ v- b+ @* K6 Y$ F8 u. p, _5 P
become financially independent. + j1 `4 j9 ?; f/ x4 H- E/ [. s
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- t7 q( M6 g* z6 oThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ( X6 W8 M$ y* G9 P& \' H9 z
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
# j" u7 u7 s9 ~( l- [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" \7 E y5 r. ]& D& ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- K& o4 h- d7 j K m1 a! rno stock options are offered,0 f3 K; Q0 }7 H* B5 G
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 9 a" Y9 Q, e+ U2 i3 G+ ]
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 6 g; [/ E( c% M1 d# `& Q' J
9 E: F5 l' X K* \2 ?for life if you play your cards right.) U" j7 U1 o2 q
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ! v, |$ P4 S+ v# R
letting them know they are appreciated
" Z( z: Q Z0 @5 a- dfor the fabulous job they do... " l" D7 U/ f2 w5 I7 N g( p
or forward with love
* s) h! u# J- B& C1 a9 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.3 z& L1 b8 m z& L1 x. u, `8 K" e
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
