 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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) w) E/ l0 o) ~+ q" M: \' @+ eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma % a! ?: m; F2 u( n1 O
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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1 e' I0 o" g! U( O- s# CJOB DESCRIPTION:8 {4 F4 X: t: i2 T8 p. ~
Long term, team players needed for challenging,' B$ h: w- N7 Z6 Q# h0 I9 D
; r2 J' o0 H' K% _; h$ e* Wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. ( M3 Q: j8 P; b( A& \
Candidates must possess excellent communication 5 P1 [/ c" @- [4 n/ Q( ^$ `0 M
and organizational skills and be willing to work
4 }2 t" J3 F' {: n, c. P+ Svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, v+ D$ `! J; \, A b% Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 c. Q+ D; \0 E8 S& Q- dSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# e4 X- D; u3 H1 ~& {/ Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 ^4 h. i* v0 n0 \endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ @0 y& L) k% G2 ~' R+ U- ?5 g. e e$ nTravel expenses not reimbursed. 4 m7 U& V n8 D, v* m& O1 B( \
Extensive courier duties also required. # G( `! O7 M- N* R; ^% G5 m0 o
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RESPONSIBILITIES:1 k; \) F* V- w
The rest of your life. 1 D0 A$ ?. B" ~9 R& Q
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, . i$ i ^9 s4 I& o( o
until someone needs $5. 1 ^" o. t3 R! _) l# d+ L7 m( u/ r
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: z' y# M4 W. u HAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ! h' Z& @; @2 C F; _$ F
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat , t2 f: ^) P8 E) b2 q* _
in case, this time, the screams from 5 [& f! T$ G, \" ]3 [/ F
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 W+ x+ L. q4 T, F; c: HMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, + D& c/ S. K! D0 ?8 k: k$ f) h, c) W# N
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' Z( a" d+ o8 K# D1 Iand stuck zippers.
/ E" V {2 b, o/ TMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# C- Y0 i X- A1 C! m* [coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 b& {0 U4 [& p% R0 e" [Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. : ?) m. R( G X" a
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, $ f; P: `0 L" i1 t' g
an embarrassment the next. & Z8 b( R! V5 Z/ X
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 g8 F/ }- ^% T& ~3 m: rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( f. F) N$ J( E& EMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 H! y" t3 R2 ~2 s, ZMust assume final, complete accountability for 4 v6 s9 t" f4 B* @9 k0 _
the quality of the end product. 0 a ~. z8 h$ d Q9 D* _+ \% j
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" i7 T- ~# O$ d m, s4 r6 C! \janitorial work throughout the facility. 9 j% {4 G A4 m2 h
+ \+ D- B4 [/ W2 {6 z2 ~1 A3 lPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 D4 b( \5 o8 N* vNone.
5 _" e$ N& s* AYour job is to remain in the same position for years, % U; _" c+ e% q- y+ n3 G/ G% e
without complaining,constantly retraining and " P9 I" C( m% M5 p1 j9 h
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 4 i- r t. z: r+ m1 L
can ultimately surpass you.
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( q5 n+ b) j. }6 Q, w# lPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) k. H& ]) E7 s( c6 I: B; T
None required, unfortunately. ' o" g# {, T$ _8 t/ u
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. - O' C# w7 {0 b9 n3 i D: y# r1 b
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: - p6 E- o) z9 X- P, q( x/ B
Get this! You pay them! " S" j1 t U" t2 B
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ; f) \, V6 d7 o& \* j, _
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. g( g( s2 b8 {' kof the assumption that college will help them 4 L9 ?( h! }- w, |4 `
become financially independent.
4 a1 d! O) S0 h* J4 e7 |, G1 A' zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 1 Y# Y, R: ^; C! J0 N
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ! n$ C: v8 j$ I) ]/ a& N0 b
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ) |3 G) y( k# [
& w; n2 D4 w/ |7 Y* bBENEFITS:
) U0 V: V4 M4 O" A% N1 ~8 A& A, JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 e2 y2 s- V. Y* Y r8 S! f/ Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and % w1 w# u* ^4 P( m' e/ N
no stock options are offered," B9 t! e( Z' \+ a3 e$ b
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 1 A7 |1 L: h) g/ A0 t( W6 u! a
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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% `; x( ]7 S# |* a/ w; r, `$ W+ ifor life if you play your cards right.* A- c- G" N% u s1 M! O: b
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **3 K& m$ m$ d' o5 G8 g% e
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; J1 F2 Z# @' T N$ ^7 N' e1 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ P& u/ V7 c) j. o/ B; G9 Aletting them know they are appreciated
t/ ^/ C. n4 Z1 j5 `: ~" kfor the fabulous job they do...
' n* r* Z: y8 p% l. d7 n3 for forward with love ; N% c# ?- k" M1 b [) o( u9 B$ U
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.5 [& k6 T% D* R9 `: a9 Y v
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
