Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 p. o- Y# }) o8 sMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; T# k7 N) C8 B( X! X. EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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6 A$ V# Z& e- \9 T; VJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 F& C( L; n6 [: g: HLong term, team players needed for challenging,

% ^) q$ m5 t! F% Npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: A+ W  X7 x7 h6 X  T5 A, ^( {; g) tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 d! W) H$ M% p9 Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 _0 Z' `. d# J# T8 Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" G  n# B" f3 K. \% k& o; J+ WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- M6 W0 `5 |' [# Z( L5 pExtensive courier duties also required.

; o$ i9 O, u5 f8 ?RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 a  R+ I' {8 dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ I" C0 r4 _* _$ f7 I" K4 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, [0 a6 |* K  ~3 W0 x* H$ p% ^in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" `% ~9 }  D/ h/ ZMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% |; S; P- k  U& O# A' ~" A$ p3 DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 F7 s* P) H& w: _! D; ]% RMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* I) l+ b/ ~, x0 d, ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 t  p+ `7 l( nMust assume final, complete accountability for
* V& d* V" I: t6 Ithe quality of the end product.
6 W$ |/ b' S9 h- ^* CResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

! p0 t# X$ C3 I" ?. c% X9 v+ B, p1 C7 EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ F$ J7 {( r4 w, g' R8 gNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
& E2 ^3 y" P: q8 s1 [1 |# Eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: {" h. R% }# P4 N7 f- I- ^can ultimately surpass you.
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: h# b9 j8 ?% w- q: B3 B3 o+ {: |PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) l3 M$ w5 ]+ A5 r1 S% x9 {$ o( gNone required, unfortunately.
- C6 R. f* K9 [8 W# \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 b0 g5 E! R5 v* ~) d0 L) L, ?Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) b" e# i4 K7 ^7 D/ Q" w" o; oof the assumption that college will help them
; ]7 _$ K0 [! `, w5 K& Ibecome financially independent.
4 h& Y# C# B& x: D$ A: V9 R) V4 Q$ xWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% t" V2 ~( w( _5 R8 p  G+ FThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 @- p& v; v* x' o; ]) `" {7 K* `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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5 z! c0 P$ A  J6 c* KBENEFITS:
- J# Q7 k* Y& ~: p9 p( k4 UWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ }9 q9 R! B9 j3 Y+ ?: ~1 G+ wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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) _) t* y. a1 d: ?( H! Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- t4 O1 I4 A; Ifor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 d/ W, U4 ?+ mfor the fabulous job they do...
" d, Z. B( u( C; \: U6 `or forward with love
2 w6 x, D2 F6 I: ]7 d* Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.