Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! A6 G: l, _& p. e5 b( k  uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


# g6 i" K' }2 F  ]! y6 l  ^1 P/ ^* }JOB DESCRIPTION:
: k8 M4 i  H9 _; ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

, @+ C1 c; T6 q+ I+ a  |$ B- O/ Npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  ~' r4 l! l! @7 k& aCandidates must possess excellent communication
7 C' ~$ V) p8 _7 R2 V6 A0 N* G4 l( a: aand organizational skills and be willing to work
2 t8 r% e, P6 S# e! Q5 [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" G4 H7 F1 d4 b! g! L/ |and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
8 D/ N: @+ V3 F/ S  w" K% q' W0 oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 Y' ?) c, s# x: ~% Jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% r; l, e1 V4 L/ l! l" F0 _. S! t9 ~7 IExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
1 o, ]' ]% z* Y9 sMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 [+ K' K/ T9 N% x. x0 \2 _, H# t3 oin case, this time, the screams from
. t( U6 L, E0 A' ~# W- nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; q$ J$ t7 X* I/ _* n6 q, ^such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 F; J/ X. _! T, U) A  ^" t) YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) ^/ {6 @) w0 @6 c& L5 P& wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' e( g6 o, G0 z* j* Ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# D/ ?3 c5 @, fthe quality of the end product.
, m0 k' ^8 \5 b7 r! k$ gResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% q: e+ V$ C2 c( @: e+ X4 V7 G4 CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* y$ b, b, n0 \' C; Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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2 u2 h4 S% t) x$ RPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# r2 }) J# W3 }& |% Y# z) ]4 Z# eNone required, unfortunately.
% w9 S4 J% P" s& c; z1 DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 V3 @& p9 F9 Z) i+ c2 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) B: i( h. `  ]' U  \7 Lof the assumption that college will help them
; K( h' x/ Z4 j5 C9 @  abecome financially independent.
& n! p( f/ b, a* s/ AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 P5 ?5 j. h' g# P8 ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 E8 r1 s# Z* P7 m4 uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

+ z% K+ B* K! Y; Z/ HBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 Z) r# }% |+ V& ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
9 a' `' _% U) Z. Ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% Y: M7 E. B1 h: Z1 b# u  dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: @3 S. Y6 u: g7 P" `8 o: Cfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' g8 O9 ]; G9 J! u% g" l% I0 L5 g" qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( U+ _! w( O+ a& R" Y) F+ o$ b7 _0 Jletting them know they are appreciated
+ z: \+ _, n2 ]  J" M# i9 xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ G" B: n# F+ ~; r  {. Jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.