Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 N) o8 h9 }  l4 t( [& NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


  r9 S2 s' z: H1 h7 |JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

. P+ c) H4 h( S% ^# jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 i- B* Y% c7 v  V  _3 ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ c  R5 J, I, Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ i8 {- r  A8 o% G2 bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ p6 v$ a8 F* B% u6 R1 R+ Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
8 @1 g( w0 P8 }: I; N! I1 o5 ^Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
* \4 U/ q) U- V. ]/ fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 ^- B/ V3 Q0 V% h" guntil someone needs $5.
5 _: G6 _* N) K3 y4 r, WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% c. E7 B3 S2 o* Q) LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) W- u  J0 E( L' xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- n6 f6 d9 [0 ^3 C2 D* i+ Y. Oin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% c: d7 V3 _& S# U9 kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 m9 \9 y6 v! v9 O4 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# F' n3 D! p. r3 zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( }0 R6 p* S$ C6 C9 R% ^# Mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 K2 z/ ]2 a0 ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 Y5 x0 ]+ r  @$ x( WMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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0 h$ G( W: q5 u  [- nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, P* @  P; [) O8 P" j! ^Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ O2 J0 B9 m! H6 Q/ f6 E- C- aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
, e1 d) [+ I) P* [; n% `
3 j! _& d, s( F4 \& q0 n
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ I+ d  F4 Z) q$ s3 W" \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

3 Z9 a/ w8 z5 l, [+ AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 x7 O2 _6 M) J( T0 _Get this! You pay them!
/ {7 h! ]  m, I) i; F4 gOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
" M' X# R$ w9 `, \4 e+ fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
9 D8 Y; z; r. e* V" w4 E  k! t6 Pof the assumption that college will help them
) F* t( V- t; E0 Qbecome financially independent.
- z  A" f+ Q- ^/ aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 K& u0 S9 \9 x* U! gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ P) r8 n; g7 V% e; R
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. F9 f5 E! `2 ?8 [# Z2 f0 z. Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 y8 V$ z& T7 v  [( h% yno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ L- t# @. q, u3 d- A1 @5 A/ i& K  Q
6 O* l+ q: z1 y+ a# f% K9 Q# Q7 D. \unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- D$ ~/ y1 @, g* y9 s4 Z# efor life if you play your cards right.
& \3 q; l) e, v0 y1 Z; j- q! j: O

2 v( }# D" v, g0 ?' [- u
6 {  v+ ?5 R, n
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

$ \1 k2 k- t) N  G
8 G$ n% Q; n/ J" M6 |, {! w
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) y3 {; `+ i- V) O. b9 \# ffor the fabulous job they do...
( @# ]! l( N" J; U1 p# bor forward with love
5 J2 I" X/ a( Z  oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.