Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 ]& P+ K3 I  }9 {Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" Z' N- Z8 W$ F: T! hJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

$ u7 F+ d1 [& F: Vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
  O. ]6 ?; [) F* land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. G4 V, p3 z8 C# K- t* _. mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, x1 N+ K% a, n8 {: a7 U- B: gSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& F3 _  x% V4 l- cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ t0 k* l) d2 S, ZExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. o$ v+ U6 u+ }Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ f+ z3 X. [7 s  H2 s+ |1 _) ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 _& t% |6 D* H/ V# u& q7 o! LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 `4 ]0 v0 S+ |and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
$ W6 F& ?% X$ q/ `% G9 ?- v# wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 e7 N" ~# U- V- TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# z% [+ E& Z* M3 nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& ?. K5 Y9 p( C# [( L4 lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) E7 j+ {* |" w+ }an embarrassment the next.
- T3 d( ]" }& E. B3 V- C+ VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. N8 E; l# z$ j9 `( [9 Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ D+ `. N+ N. K6 L% H7 W; iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ G7 T6 t; I0 ]Must assume final, complete accountability for
6 h5 O' ]0 y8 D6 P5 Uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# p7 a6 O2 {8 l3 a, o' z  q7 Kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
0 L. ~5 @9 Z0 d  z0 ]" L, i/ ?Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 e* D+ t4 k6 O3 m2 [9 \) Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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$ ?2 }2 h. X. G  D" k0 D! `PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 I+ Q1 h6 I9 N  O7 XNone required, unfortunately.
) {& _# }# C2 G! w4 X& a2 HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& ~$ k$ t0 l# S4 c) xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 I- i0 v. E  X3 \" K8 ~8 p, |- C" TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 `' O9 P$ y" g; H4 @& fof the assumption that college will help them
" l+ c" ]3 x+ J1 [! u* h+ m  k9 q6 |/ Pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; H3 l. c# H& [/ K! Lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  D0 k$ g* D2 \% Z: C1 T9 |# jBENEFITS:
  f" _. l% h& ?3 FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. d( U: u1 p  a  f* Mno stock options are offered,
4 H2 @3 @/ S" E- Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 ^; g. C1 H- |2 C' `7 _# b7 G
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. Y* q# O* A& u7 X9 s/ i+ M
for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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: ?& d/ u  ^" e/ TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
" o: ?% o/ S+ M3 Qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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  W) `/ u0 x  \' h

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.