Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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2 F: `. U+ f7 j8 Y: \0 uJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

/ X& w) l4 r( \% l  j9 ]1 R3 Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, U6 p. W  u# @0 h) P. Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& B1 v+ q# C8 Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 e/ C7 U1 D0 K: q/ ETravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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- k3 J$ F+ v! `RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 w3 ]& J4 n& K* k% l& @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ [' ^0 m) `0 t9 N9 DMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 T! P' o3 Y9 dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" R5 Z" H2 W. x, oin case, this time, the screams from
5 x# \$ @8 W. v' L* i  uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 k2 J& q0 p; A* RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# n4 I* v1 S& V7 R5 [Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% a3 u, q, z# A, p6 `: f4 `Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 P( D- F7 t3 B7 ?an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& B; s9 p8 g6 T& ~) `' |7 C% e% {+ Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% f+ n& v3 T' r& qResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 k, }/ H7 R, I9 vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
& j6 j, b4 F' _: d7 P3 z) LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 w. o1 R8 r3 X& R3 G9 Q, P' pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
$ y0 B3 w! a' \3 E: Qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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1 \# N$ b1 |  G' v9 {8 yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. w; |6 l. d3 XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! g1 k+ L3 C5 W$ Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% N. k% I0 R+ ~become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 q7 g4 ?- W/ h* h8 H2 wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ u+ W$ h, ~1 BBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" D5 }* _8 d. I7 i. W/ Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

* [( ^) T# A6 s% Q' Ifor life if you play your cards right.


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2 r- B: S) k/ q* ?7 u1 m) N% U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) {& U8 L% O) Qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
* \7 e% l) L# l! V8 rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.