Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 P# z# z" I7 e# A; f1 zMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: N0 p! K2 G3 U$ D5 XDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
1 O9 V  L; J9 r

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
3 Z8 j; B0 L3 T* s, r7 K
  e* Y. F2 i) E& D: ?, Epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) \- ~+ _. g" MCandidates must possess excellent communication
* Y7 Q) D# z$ Y5 F9 E1 t+ Land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* n; e" c  y+ d* Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) l" G0 z6 U# Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. `3 y% y" K* V- F5 B/ tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" u+ H/ N- `) Q6 YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

' g: C+ c  s1 B8 r! SRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& D8 L4 m& F) \! V: ^! d% v# EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- u4 ^7 Q" @: s6 ^  }4 ~' dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" Y+ K) }4 J0 z$ {. Z5 TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; o' [. b! W$ r6 `; M# Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, ^: q' S6 d$ ]3 h9 U4 vin case, this time, the screams from
8 W* ]( I, d0 g, U4 |" qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 U7 _8 p4 c0 t1 k# p3 dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
/ R! e8 ?  D+ K
: O5 s6 f4 ~3 ?" `3 Q0 a, z0 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* b! @) R2 A$ s/ SNone.
4 V1 c. ~- z1 Z' j- ^: d1 I4 JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
1 `8 m. n" I% a1 l6 M8 M9 B
4 r% B" G; m) J1 J, C
0 g2 d$ J$ _9 M: OPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& ^( N4 D4 J/ QNone required, unfortunately.
. O7 e. }, R& O" g3 ~2 ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
- k4 j$ V9 U; g6 e9 A8 M, W. R6 z) z
1 z5 y2 b7 ~* c6 KWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 p" @# U; x+ B6 p- e* i1 s' ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ a. i: U% e8 H. C+ \# rof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ Y, t9 P6 n9 o. K! a, iWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
! E8 g' `9 A( p) v0 D# g1 A. n
; ~+ @5 U6 g  i6 a: y, jBENEFITS:
9 O" u' a/ d  K1 V; H) ^. pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: m) C# I+ |9 W/ y' i* `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
7 w5 d( g/ ]; N$ n% d
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
+ q$ D8 @$ s0 L9 a# {" b
for life if you play your cards right.
+ z3 X- l) h  F7 u! N  S/ v. c! [


2 V% N$ f* J7 d) U$ g; v
4 @- S3 b8 a$ \( ~3 {; n** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
4 Q8 U0 f, R; B6 M/ ]5 U

) W2 A- ]3 L4 {$ U* x6 }3 w" B3 w$ C
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' }1 H0 {7 f! n* f3 T' m* x: kletting them know they are appreciated
' S" y. U8 n0 P2 n7 {for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
5 V( z0 I  ]7 Q" w6 h/ hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
; F# E& {7 n/ Q: P9 \/ k7 Z4 e

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.