Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ @: n& k; S' `$ fMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

1 m, n2 U: M" J3 [% S3 S4 Z7 Q  Bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; d; y8 l7 _5 W7 n/ k# R! b6 g4 aand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 l) }$ I0 ?: ^8 c: C" ?) Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ u3 S# T5 d# G  |Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 o' w3 F& h& {$ S* n8 U  Lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
* R( @- S0 n3 YThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 z! {; a, k# W% ~7 O. ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ @- e6 B- L8 @  |& iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
, B: X* L0 V1 s. X9 H9 l0 p( T. [the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 Y3 O' ^# e+ g1 qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. u0 Z& f$ \4 L9 h3 F: u& j( d3 X8 aMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 s' u+ S3 r- @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 r: I# f7 C: E- L8 |an embarrassment the next.
- k4 F1 e7 o1 j8 `Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- G5 A) k/ g, c. R/ }' x# zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# l. h8 V. y7 ~* o; @4 O3 KResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ i, |5 B: @" h9 S0 s% ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

# Z7 J8 K, v, [( K, S; A3 m$ K9 }/ mPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 I2 ^/ S: u) jNone.
( q* ]# u- f9 O  yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 C! z# c" M" L9 Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* U9 @$ T7 c6 C+ i  LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 [1 [+ z( ?# y# Z7 VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ j" I7 E+ g* `% `! K& BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 d1 ?, W! S! e! D1 v" s5 VWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  M; L7 I7 M: G1 d& v: V; ]BENEFITS:
, A( Z8 ]( V, h% h* O' [! QWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: H; i; Y! t" W/ N9 N" V$ p5 Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ S, y4 F9 w. a+ _3 T5 R, b0 Wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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/ f5 g7 x8 e% \1 m. J$ Z. [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 J: I' N1 ~" k: y  q/ E' @5 @: a; Yfor life if you play your cards right.
0 S+ _6 j6 p' l  [# s( F
) @( a$ ~7 H! O: B: U  G% R  l& F
6 a1 i+ S" c; w

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
: \! f  Z, {7 Q# d" E- z
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.