Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! R+ ]7 F0 _; }Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 S% l6 ^* v6 q8 U) B* E, ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
" i$ }0 M. o9 l4 t9 ]  QLong term, team players needed for challenging,

% s. X' b4 ~  G) k' `# vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ e3 L4 W# h5 W: A' ECandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' ~- j/ N4 G! o& U& _; Z( FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 ~: I& w" w! lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 N* \. L) B7 b; `% A1 S/ sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ N( m9 M* |# gExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' ^! |' z& I, Z9 \1 A, U" J! a% {; Iuntil someone needs $5.
& N& X( K7 B3 o' b, e/ aMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, O5 P9 N' S9 Z9 z. V6 m4 Y6 oin case, this time, the screams from
, N! ~8 L( U& J2 h8 {: [$ |the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ D( o5 H# \6 k& a3 D+ ]  G" F8 zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 \7 j; n! L6 `8 r* V% ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
; F/ H" R! I; u4 A% w9 d. PMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  }+ f# g+ u2 ~% E4 ^( ^* X! DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 ^9 q( E: s7 T- han embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# E2 y. {8 _2 k6 @9 ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 b+ F+ \( L% l! t% iMust assume final, complete accountability for
8 |& h; f+ T, a8 n5 k& H+ i4 ?the quality of the end product.
; j7 E* o8 \. `/ u2 EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 w) O: l! G8 \3 p9 m, l3 zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 K, }2 a- Y8 L2 c3 H6 S; zPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* h" Q' Q8 m& R5 rNone.
6 a( G% z4 a2 Z+ U& fYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 [& _( l- U+ ]% J. [8 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 \+ m+ d2 z6 n8 g+ s  ]None required, unfortunately.
2 `8 _5 p( c8 {5 l; b8 q7 E2 ]" VOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ d: {1 ]0 N$ U# r8 w; SGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! g& z9 c1 f: aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 p9 \9 L1 D3 _6 e: |4 TBENEFITS:
- E+ Y' n+ T: n. F) r+ j! zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
9 g! R8 [5 u' m/ F( tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* l: q' n& Y0 k/ p1 H6 w* @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 t. c/ G. e: `6 x# |
/ T0 }* J& f9 \0 G# mfor life if you play your cards right.


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) L, L, S% ?9 C# u3 q: l. ?2 g2 o7 y8 }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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6 I" _+ |. A) t' b; }. S$ Z$ k7 fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- D/ }' x- f3 O1 nletting them know they are appreciated
4 a0 K9 R8 f8 k+ l  efor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.