Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" E! P  R) I: E3 D# k/ G1 d; E1 T6 r8 qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  o7 u0 z/ N( B4 V! ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% J8 s; i* [/ K* ?0 V8 p$ |9 ]* tSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( N5 D3 `* k' s$ z& J6 V. A2 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& l1 }" f! B* h# T  JExtensive courier duties also required.

  p/ z" c: \+ i5 I0 [RESPONSIBILITIES:
- g% c! ~8 }4 b+ b" v6 BThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  L& ^+ g  e, y& f' V  [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ t3 Z) Q5 d: Uand stuck zippers.
* X3 F3 }* L! W6 }  A$ {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% f! p$ T+ B' K5 f! Z7 Mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) q. V% {1 t3 i. D8 y: t9 ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  B+ ]0 q( w9 u  t: h8 y. \  S! pMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 _/ K8 H$ |- k  D( \+ }; U& k, Z- athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( k, z/ ]* {: S* x7 C4 tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
  {2 n% s0 g5 b. d2 L( T
6 w. k( L5 j- P  M: n( C  LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
& [# U5 j/ ?! y4 G: A% HYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 W6 l+ z, x# \without complaining,constantly retraining and
3 f! O: w+ U  E1 q( e( @' T4 Z, eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


/ B" ?7 B, T7 ~" I7 v3 o! XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" U' }9 G/ o4 J7 SNone required, unfortunately.
/ r8 q3 D/ y0 sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 p- I% z0 A  Q- ZGet this! You pay them!
0 D/ f1 |" C8 i/ ^7 G% E$ @9 ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- l' U9 E7 l4 _/ t; ~become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
9 a$ c5 W( S$ ]/ [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 {, Y7 V+ @+ x4 bno stock options are offered,
6 C3 q, e/ {" G; p5 @4 Kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# E) h* e8 \7 [' Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 Q: Z" [& s( h; J4 H' y
for life if you play your cards right.

) q+ L; I) r9 V9 s
4 S6 X2 ]$ T- [* S5 b: b% O4 R

& K! f: Y& Y" t5 Y+ \8 v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
4 a% \9 E7 }1 m7 g+ t- Z

8 u2 P& [6 e5 j" @. V
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( [- K- U0 ^% j  I% w$ Gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

0 b6 V! ]& h# U$ Z1 w% K) ]! x

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.