Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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: ^( o- E# l! d, r; |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! ~* `+ |0 f: z; g+ I% sCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
4 d0 i& ^  z+ uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 o6 U6 M6 R6 P# I# g, [Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; G8 l: `1 l) O7 u# Z! [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 }9 B. V' W/ eThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- K% h/ w( e0 e6 z) v" e" C9 LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 M) Z, Y4 ?. G/ A8 M0 ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
1 \8 c0 V0 q: kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" ?7 G& V$ a- W. m" F) F; C+ }& |+ jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
7 k6 u2 y5 v; q& ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' }2 g, I! S6 I: X8 x: hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, _6 [% }% }3 {' `, Q3 ]an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 U: U3 m6 u! L- f! Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 o; D) ?' F6 YMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 U* Y! e' T# W- ^9 O  {janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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  k# B) X3 X, p, I$ s8 m" r5 qPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# @% K5 O% Q% {' u/ }5 d" W( sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( l* ]/ o" j# G( B6 w" ]: K6 i& oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
% v* F: N' H/ g! ]can ultimately surpass you.
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& A1 C0 E& I$ G2 HPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 M! k$ W: U7 l1 YNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. Z3 t+ T; f/ X1 f. @; m  XGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% V3 g% H' V1 Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
9 z6 K% g  }, o2 Uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; t- n& @! I/ L1 Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) W( S+ N$ n4 G1 b& _: C4 _no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 v/ D* N1 n4 s) b3 `2 G+ Pletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 C6 t* w( O7 f2 _- gor forward with love
+ W- E" ~  R1 n7 v1 ~' e+ G) mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.