Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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5 p0 Y6 K. L7 {( R1 r; r- T. dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* f; s$ x5 |1 ?( D3 Y( e  gCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  x% P0 z) `3 }4 rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, g- h8 N" L. |4 n# @" gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 p8 h! `; o+ w4 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% y3 Q. L( F( ]2 r& Qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 f2 O! G, d( w! Z) M' sExtensive courier duties also required.

% m+ g7 V, J. n& PRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) a& A; `2 s4 P' I) m5 xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- ~: W( P) h  v( l0 Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 G2 n8 S1 v1 M5 u+ g* jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) [4 W  s+ ?6 x) c1 QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# X) B( F6 U! E/ wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# i% i; q9 b; can embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- U6 I( c+ `. i# Q; W  t* y6 {# P, bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* {" t" p, q2 Q0 h9 F# ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 H" V5 f  a& j" o: Q2 ~& l3 b7 ~POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- @! w1 g0 [% I$ t; qNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  u' W% N% D, s) ?. |0 Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 V5 s# ^5 s1 B' ~% c% DNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

' L6 o( I: b3 O5 \) S$ HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, I* Z" b& o" H0 A" T; e/ CGet this! You pay them!
+ ~9 @- p/ h: ZOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( c( w" I# D5 h  h' p) v  n# X8 `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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$ C/ f1 c& I1 W& j( \! nBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# v4 j9 `4 `6 m4 r, sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ {5 M3 N$ H2 j) d* o  S# U3 B: |. I
2 {! Y6 s+ b0 O; Wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
# R; S- y$ l7 W- `4 V! _6 j6 H
! P8 a8 P# R& j% B/ V% W+ Gfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) a/ T7 n9 o( t& ZForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.