 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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: Z: }. ~2 }$ x2 R, m8 pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma & A- z& u+ A' u# Z+ h
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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; s, M, v: l' ~JOB DESCRIPTION:$ ^. `$ S! v1 S4 n8 h1 J
Long term, team players needed for challenging,' W( B# O$ U' Z& L; Z
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. , |$ F9 L# J* H* o4 d4 P
Candidates must possess excellent communication 5 o) P6 J. b3 ?6 Y* P
and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 m: e* v, R- Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 6 f' s! k1 j! d% ~, R5 s
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; }0 u9 S. T4 i& R9 d9 YSome overnight travel required, including trips to H# {; C& _. U
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and . b! E) P0 M! d, K+ v' V2 K: Y2 C
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* R# ?. p' K( E( f) V4 cTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ N6 M! D4 y% v) F QExtensive courier duties also required.
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, W8 H8 D! i3 c( \RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 R' i+ v" q5 h0 F' |5 u9 @! VThe rest of your life.
6 l% s. G8 m& M; b, u* c2 Q5 lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ) i/ ^' D/ D7 A. l; y- o) E/ f
until someone needs $5.
8 g2 q+ F/ I8 f0 r& {0 PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; e2 ]; S) p+ Q- |9 p) I3 M& ` YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; Q7 L9 S4 h3 W/ n" s" _; r8 Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ; o6 N) t% ^ l# M4 C3 |
in case, this time, the screams from ! @$ u# `4 K, C6 w5 T% Y( k
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
S# Y4 G6 Y/ C2 Y, dMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 9 V4 n( Y$ v+ {5 A) }8 U
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ) G5 k6 a- f/ }% l
and stuck zippers.
, ]* r: y3 a# aMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 x4 q) e% b5 q- Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" u, k- x3 N+ S1 E% ?Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. " ]# c( q1 Z9 |) [1 q' O9 B' h
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, , q' G/ }# {$ P* z: Y
an embarrassment the next. + s6 T$ Y. M$ r6 k, O7 o
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 4 j9 u" `* F5 Z+ {
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 6 d6 F/ C; B% J5 H$ U9 c7 M6 l$ W' h6 M
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ @- G! E1 Z" ?* k K; d5 X5 UMust assume final, complete accountability for
: p# `( i& g6 M# A/ lthe quality of the end product. ) M c4 D- j) z7 D; F# w
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and : ]3 y& B) a) m! v) @$ R, v6 |0 S
janitorial work throughout the facility. ( V; ?9 l/ y1 p# e
; N s8 G) H0 j( V+ |; JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( a7 R. \8 }4 X% jNone. 9 t! w. a, T9 s9 s& }: \1 Y
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 1 o3 M" y) p" x! Y
without complaining,constantly retraining and 7 I8 d4 g$ c0 z) \! i0 _
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. b( o' l" ]/ o% dcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% A& M9 J! k6 NNone required, unfortunately. - a/ Y5 _" M2 |) K* x' F0 t
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 7 O: J' N1 t2 g, E
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 D7 S0 }' R* ]Get this! You pay them!
2 g( k5 ~' f/ QOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 2 v7 ^% W6 C6 v8 K
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# i4 v8 t& {1 `* `* L9 V6 A1 Aof the assumption that college will help them ) i& d$ f& V3 K4 O* ?7 U
become financially independent. & U- t) t7 ~; a2 W1 h$ h- s# }
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 s( }: V/ ?: j3 N$ QThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 1 x! V* R) L2 Z" D2 Y; D5 _& l
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 9 m) Q6 Y9 L% n& I
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BENEFITS:
4 t& E. r. C1 o! b- A* l! [; qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# d+ u% i' u& D, C; d8 Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 Z( x# X, Q, I2 M2 r, t8 mno stock options are offered,
; k3 K, J/ g9 c l; \8 ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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8 h @- Q$ L1 I9 R0 punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ) O" p. \" B/ z* g+ S
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ d- w8 x. r2 r4 Y0 W: Y
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ n; S9 @9 r0 pletting them know they are appreciated
2 z* z" e x. |* _' K: Ffor the fabulous job they do... % J8 Q8 n `6 E6 _
or forward with love 9 M* m1 [" a3 t7 S2 |0 u
to anyone thinking of applying for the job." J, ~5 o; g% H) {6 U
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
