Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- o2 w4 A$ r; h9 k' ?/ z4 S* S( B! RMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


9 B; F, P) [( SJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* i0 |" a% `7 x; ?7 p4 ECandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' V3 C6 a: B, c3 W2 d, n7 fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 E/ V  R9 I* c) y. sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ G8 g2 L) u1 ~" dExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
/ D2 a2 c# Z, g% D" R+ u9 QMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
* T. x+ f, t0 bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 \7 {) X/ w' }Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# ]3 l% f8 L7 z$ y# B" ~7 j0 N8 _, c& _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. [5 t0 ]# W8 I. C8 G! n+ R$ nMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 [' \+ d. q3 I' u  @$ |7 Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; }0 J* t/ ]; I# `$ `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! n2 |( Q, n# q, q% o/ VMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* y8 A# |2 U9 H7 K' B7 r! b# FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 a) ~2 E8 E( H$ W# ^( J2 ?. han embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- A" C2 j% L. x: eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
0 w5 S& u+ `4 s$ M" Y7 j5 w8 gResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
  c7 {. ?7 q3 k4 q
) S5 x- @0 q9 b: fPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: a% a9 f$ Y8 B  {/ ONone.
" [1 G5 @% C9 ~" q1 \! U8 EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
: H3 j. s: i* M3 l8 |$ M- \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) {/ R& }$ f7 m) jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, u# k# O; `" k& Fof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
' Z9 u3 H( {& `' S4 t( @When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' d8 K1 e: U- ]  Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

6 m6 F& x5 X: E& W. ]% e$ W; {( PBENEFITS:
1 f: C* Z: P7 |. }* Q- ^) @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 N' I% d/ I3 R3 j, Ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" w; }* E6 D7 S( @# X. [1 `- ]no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
8 V; O) @8 f2 T9 H3 p: [
% H+ z" y2 M, L, p( \for life if you play your cards right.
8 Q) o6 q8 |2 m# }
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0 ^1 |* k2 k  I7 Q
& f5 T9 A- ~  o0 b# z
! i7 K/ U3 S! h' J! g0 U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


' V& h( K& P7 U- R# N8 U
$ h* J2 x0 q4 V3 W5 o; RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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& S/ J% s+ [1 L# C2 J8 a

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.