Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. r  G( M1 F( W$ iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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, O1 X% L$ J" Y# H, \7 Y, C0 c0 ~3 }JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 N+ a& d3 y/ |) `: M1 Bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 k! [; S; \6 c- ?: H3 H: s/ Uand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" N# q5 R; l+ u8 xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
; _! l$ m8 d0 v8 w" RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; J8 |& n! h, P( Z9 C0 uuntil someone needs $5.
# M0 B* W0 {5 K$ u) ?, v4 OMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( c+ H  l1 y+ q9 U! p' m7 O! Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 A5 ?. u2 C. ~3 [the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 R! E2 g9 U* TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 B0 g7 d0 x, V) y% M5 R% G1 qand stuck zippers.
* ~, o. t6 X2 p5 L1 ]Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 h% G2 i7 P) e" L# `6 k& \coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* |# x6 X/ {1 t% AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 T$ h2 [- l- Y, O8 C* uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 ~2 q) P; P. j% o3 Dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" N% S0 D% `9 D) VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ t; r5 J* V% {* q0 Y# mMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
6 Q! |$ Q( _; r2 ?8 a2 `9 WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 o$ L- w9 y5 Ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 N; y. W2 M: n" p8 }# `; XNone.
! w8 i2 _  O) t. n( DYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
, L, r9 e* j( L6 ~9 U6 s; u6 ?5 jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
3 c2 ^1 P0 }# @  Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

0 e! n- i6 Y0 g1 w8 e" ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
" Y  `2 i- e6 w  C& _* fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) Y3 ~- b) R2 S% _# b; Y. aof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 X7 \3 T+ R% Q4 {+ _The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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, V" i* R  a% {5 L5 F: m3 [BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* ^7 s( W0 o$ g) L. Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: E8 i* E/ p3 Z/ Z3 N5 {! \5 a( C& Jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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% t% D$ C& @1 |) }; lfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; O3 j( w4 S4 o; [9 i% m' nletting them know they are appreciated
7 g" h+ Z  F2 s. X' z7 ffor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.