 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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. j8 Z1 v/ p. ]- q; X" ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& i4 P" G( I; r& n8 c0 Q# pDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa2 u0 Z- }; E; f+ P( Y; @/ K- W
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ T7 v8 Q4 k! B" YLong term, team players needed for challenging,3 R" b8 y( F' l- w* |) k) v- V
2 g1 g2 G! Z7 t% Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ a. b1 O5 r* m2 a; h% R+ c, [! }Candidates must possess excellent communication
& v; I4 c. y1 F ?1 f% g6 |) tand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 S4 C- B7 w) Q, X! B4 Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends " `! e9 T0 M5 \/ ?$ f7 n
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' y& e! o' x/ r4 ]# gSome overnight travel required, including trips to ) y& g/ Z9 H; S
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 t/ X5 ?" R+ X# gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- m2 ^9 d7 B. X6 H1 C/ f! h( o+ ETravel expenses not reimbursed. 6 m) P3 _) H/ Z- Y& S5 V
Extensive courier duties also required. 8 D9 R, k* i5 b1 w7 L# q. A0 l+ o) ]: F7 d a
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
( M( `' o3 g, N: P* A9 A4 V: n' K& s, DThe rest of your life.
4 f5 ^4 M- F$ w% E. c, [* aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ y+ b+ ~; `8 \) U1 j! G9 [; ountil someone needs $5. ' d$ r" s* J) o; P( f; s$ f# Z
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ) R+ [- i4 w; F+ `; {# m
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ B; T: ^* Z S- Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat . I; ~* b, B' E/ F" \2 ~
in case, this time, the screams from 7 x, V) h( d% [3 \% [3 G( ]
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ! j6 D: X$ ^, A1 U
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ) v! A$ A# |2 N# J* r
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 2 K; E. K- r8 e! Z | _$ y" f
and stuck zippers.
3 ~1 |, {2 S0 S( ZMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ R- Z1 R, V- Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 r3 h; U. ?* t! t0 c5 DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ) ?0 h' T( I5 `; W* B0 b$ `
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ ^& s- J& C+ [ o0 P; man embarrassment the next. 4 t$ O% E) [6 J5 L1 [4 I' k
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a * `9 m1 u1 m* u2 @# B
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- F! J `- o& uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( k$ a. ?: |* {% o" e/ F( F- u7 q) JMust assume final, complete accountability for
3 h7 ]9 L- T8 i1 m' Bthe quality of the end product. 1 d7 R- w0 Z- T
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ) G v$ t% e5 P% K2 |/ Y8 Y4 M. o
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! m3 e- y2 J3 Y) V! K) eNone. ( g: D# E1 D2 L3 ]* C* P; U7 D
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, : a! p6 }1 H& o( Z0 }" ], A
without complaining,constantly retraining and
4 E; j" j. K( C* R' Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
& J2 z" g2 c ~3 {" u" f kcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: . S' T. e( j R; u; r
None required, unfortunately. 4 O. ^6 C; u$ y7 X/ R
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: : [: i+ A& p5 V: s1 v
Get this! You pay them!
1 C% M9 x4 o- x% h) p6 KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 A. Y5 J- z9 Sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- s; k" `" x. y! s5 \$ N, L- Jof the assumption that college will help them o5 X2 `: t! }9 B/ g# |
become financially independent. 9 P$ J8 V0 Z! p4 T( a% ~
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 D9 o. G* B C* a8 ~/ YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 M' P# a. P2 x9 X1 v% z3 l0 D2 s, Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: 3 }3 w2 F/ V+ |
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, N" f* O. c! n/ @! u# T& eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, j# u) k. F/ G0 o% eno stock options are offered,
5 d0 H( A3 E7 S' ]% m( s% Lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, + U$ U+ y- f- h6 r" U$ ~5 P
& c$ g; V% N: Z9 l8 Q% j7 G0 eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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9 d4 R2 |7 t/ mfor life if you play your cards right.; q' C8 }5 i" p
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e( h' k: \8 [# Y; A4 ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 f( P' U1 i) s0 H0 f. Uletting them know they are appreciated , A' I' q% U# X% a& t2 i: I0 c f
for the fabulous job they do...
: Y; p3 [; _$ F5 K# p7 k6 Aor forward with love
8 U2 n; X4 Y" I5 J$ a) y+ [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
