Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( W' g% K2 l  |$ |/ G3 e6 p8 ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
' S( b" E) [% gLong term, team players needed for challenging,

5 S7 f) ~) a$ h1 u% Z: G, p5 jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; b( \9 g2 t1 z+ w" C) U: U5 k* J+ [$ XCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 U2 u1 `1 D4 [5 _and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ d2 u7 _$ L! Y# D3 u0 MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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% C6 J, h" [' p1 w7 j* S( I' yRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 _& B+ z6 c8 I- @! ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) |  m' L: e$ T/ I+ KAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
  C( U+ p$ N8 a: nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. }1 y8 U& C# G2 p! O" _) t$ DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# w/ U# |3 f* L& Z  q) g9 Bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' ?/ d2 N0 O6 [( A/ x$ CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' ^& {& t0 q  T# fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( t% W5 \0 D0 yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 u! k5 _; s& m5 @( ^janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: z/ k9 t1 Z5 O" R, G) `None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! j. p! H; u. `( Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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7 J) _  o" X/ F9 g; BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& a# k' \# s8 W) @( GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
  B% g, S, m  B" j' ?become financially independent.
, C& E' y8 `6 p1 f( [5 `When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 z9 @) ?  a  C; a- Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 ]; q0 P8 K' o. ], t) ?$ |) ^2 I5 w/ dBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. ]  k  j2 b+ P+ s. ~no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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1 _' ~4 n  u. jfor life if you play your cards right.

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/ M& }1 r4 J5 H/ L* I! ^4 t** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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7 ]* ^- P; ?& o5 t6 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.