Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


; ~7 K5 b! Y$ f& [& O, P# q& P/ CJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- O% c, w8 C, C5 band organizational skills and be willing to work
5 P( _1 F! A0 o& Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# h9 X9 p4 b* z; a" Y0 Nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% `% X/ Q' N$ ~) [, }" D; fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
1 w. S% X1 }. K( u/ n- L, yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. a% H" j3 k7 D; X9 YExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 s* [/ X5 Q# k- D8 w2 NThe rest of your life.
) |: U$ L2 u, }/ w" O4 K* g% oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- a' `% W+ k: M$ U1 g) ]: AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 n/ Q7 K* h6 `/ H! Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, q: x& t% L. _, @! b& {- r* [) iin case, this time, the screams from
! l) f, D7 Q5 m  g: D+ g4 l4 hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# R' e8 a0 j" T- }Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; ?5 D- I% G1 H4 Y5 Wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, Z" n. s" Q" T/ xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ Z6 b# m' I# Z5 z0 }5 k3 W7 _coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 m# ^' ]' H  r& c* DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 P/ K+ ~- D, [0 fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 p. S$ J' u7 x: Pan embarrassment the next.
6 R. q1 h' u2 |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: B$ _* X+ R) i, mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" \5 x7 ?1 y' b+ fMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 ^0 \# e: O' t2 s" wthe quality of the end product.
7 u& W- V6 v( v5 O2 `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

% l& R" h3 s7 i6 c5 ?* G+ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! w, o! K1 u) q" }. \! {' KYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' ~; [/ t4 M; k' I$ T4 J6 g$ ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 K# o/ w  Z( C1 Acan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

' E8 ~( J/ E. V0 v9 k4 I9 uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- C" l- O/ C) v  v/ k( c+ k5 ^of the assumption that college will help them
! B7 b7 B) L) ^2 N! {. lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% w' [) g( y$ c$ Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
+ c7 W6 f6 H2 P. g7 iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& O0 z  F- x! m1 Z2 Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

6 p) b5 P5 [. f. B! mfor life if you play your cards right.

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1 W7 q- e( `7 U7 @1 u** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 o4 d' Q5 \0 fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.