Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# ~5 s/ A8 g1 w  E  |! v' D$ aMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 |5 ]/ @0 a' b" I( c6 ^Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
3 n- ^" o, u0 \9 d) ?

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, z4 y9 H1 h* N( o$ `( c5 u( u+ b5 gCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 y& w" p- y) q+ T5 t6 Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 d7 E6 s+ |7 U4 }+ Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% h6 H& w* F. m9 s3 s9 C) Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) ^' o4 Y4 W' b  e6 N3 j( T! @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
& L2 [7 {4 ?" U6 E; ~
. _/ S! ]8 }, s8 Z& P# O0 ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
& w2 {) j6 @* {! t5 \The rest of your life.
; _) t' d* a9 [2 C+ J" y6 `Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. x' L  U/ ]: _" K. a6 u( {  muntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% Y2 Y0 u; w8 W$ G4 cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
7 O6 _6 b3 g: ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 F  ~" P3 Y& z& A5 K- h2 mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" q5 g4 ]2 D1 p; A/ LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 x6 p0 L7 `/ V/ @coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* i4 ?3 |" y+ _& F- |6 SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 c6 i" S: Q0 VMust assume final, complete accountability for
( ^/ f) t4 c' ?1 `2 @8 t- J0 Wthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
. d7 ~* a% T$ @0 L- L! B; }
. l) A8 g4 o( F4 KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* C' S$ v- ?& `) i; G  E5 pNone.
) h  A: N! H9 ?6 wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ y+ d; `% P# _  `without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' @) l" u) i8 j" f6 \can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! ]& w4 E; Q! p+ P7 L6 I! fNone required, unfortunately.
$ r9 x- e  ^9 p7 ~3 f0 BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, }  d/ T5 i+ E/ sGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ D$ `, B/ C6 J- V2 N+ Y  ^- Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# S4 J; g; p8 l. R4 n7 {1 h( ?of the assumption that college will help them
0 f5 n. j! L  ^' G! G  t& `become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 [$ l. I& J! P' d+ I  c: oThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 X3 g; d2 x  C+ A6 }' a; kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 B3 ?4 d* W' hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' O6 |  L5 Y! p1 N) ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
/ a4 S, A% [8 \9 M0 J8 ?: ~
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



; L0 z8 `& T( V; z  o% \
, a+ F- a5 `% l+ W9 K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
5 w; Y  i9 q& n$ b. a- y7 v

2 D$ N$ S* ~) K# ^( W
: X* Z  g/ A8 v# c8 x  _5 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
9 m6 `# m' I; @" T- Y+ Afor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
; `% w8 M. {$ h0 h4 Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.