Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  w' [: W# A$ Q' TDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 }" @& v5 G5 @7 b0 ^+ ILong term, team players needed for challenging,
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/ V3 S! y, L+ T& xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 O/ H6 G, e, S* |- [) |% e$ g1 }" ?' fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 j8 B0 A3 [1 }/ A  K$ P4 u' F% Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 _2 r3 q, n3 R3 Z) tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. r7 ~! ^4 |; p7 l1 {Travel expenses not reimbursed.
) Q( `+ o+ U, j1 e" J( l) BExtensive courier duties also required.
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. c4 _8 X7 [4 y6 q9 p. IRESPONSIBILITIES:
" G/ q5 t0 O# j% C7 S* E# c  @9 rThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) p; W' B. x) W( t# H  J& ^until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, b# ~2 D7 U2 W0 }, m* P% dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  d$ x6 J- z( N9 u2 qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ i! E8 U0 y0 D9 X# LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: X1 |1 _& S0 w5 g; vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 |1 I9 Z- F# F. UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* P, X+ z1 f( j2 f# ]" P7 q) P- s$ xan embarrassment the next.
6 l. G& @: r- ?8 k( rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* J, X1 P6 c  _; a. T+ RMust assume final, complete accountability for
% g% n( R; r8 ]9 pthe quality of the end product.
- h+ q- m0 x! E6 i1 H0 v* VResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

* q( f* p+ B0 U7 }& RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, @& T) c+ k3 V7 T& n5 e, JNone.
) p; s9 w/ k8 F. q# RYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ D$ b( ~8 A) \3 P" f7 |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  y3 |" S" B" TGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 A1 m& |2 X  A; Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ r% C6 f* O: }- @4 j# qof the assumption that college will help them
6 [/ b% t* z4 P( ^( F$ G8 E+ L2 qbecome financially independent.
4 @& `7 K8 P4 g8 N- ^* YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; I# \3 j* J) j) m0 _  V5 ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ _  q4 S' a% Q& _0 ?BENEFITS:
, b2 N1 x9 m# B8 _0 o( q( W+ c  WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 K# L* ]7 K# R2 L( R' X) nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

$ z: ]) J: ]" E, D; D: `% wfor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 w1 N" N0 u6 I' R5 F+ Tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.