Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, g! `7 I6 \3 x" |% g9 n8 RMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
! Z# W: t; {& s5 F( w& \Long term, team players needed for challenging,

) p( t* \* P0 a. s' ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: z# z4 w: Q1 F6 k* O% z8 cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 Z: X' c2 g! E/ l4 G+ U8 [2 p( m+ I% ]Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 c7 x1 a/ U: jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 V5 C) y- N# N, fExtensive courier duties also required.
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8 X8 q5 i% l% S: T+ ~5 y- gRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: Z; M$ n( D1 N% M3 A1 UAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
: |9 h  V8 @; I; Q7 e" Z! A( dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# F3 P( \( `" C  c* Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
6 Z3 b7 |* ~( v  ?9 b' O; o$ [Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' {6 a: W' @6 `, ~1 s" Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* \# _# G& A5 [; h$ M6 h% fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
9 I) V! K. U' jMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# r) X# w3 O$ u% \8 K! IMust assume final, complete accountability for
( b8 a1 ]( i' z1 Q# lthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 e1 K7 P' h0 w5 r0 Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& n% O. b0 h. _/ w: H0 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 C+ b8 A2 B; ]2 d2 U' d2 }None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 n" N9 r3 e3 ~* Q8 X* f9 sWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! U! q( m: _6 y: oThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 q/ O, h5 q% Vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ ~1 P% o: c, R; t% ?5 m, c. Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. C' D% X: O% X1 sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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/ c% Y' t$ j, `" q. m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ w$ y8 G  {. rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 x6 @) v, p9 z9 }4 }9 Sfor the fabulous job they do...
3 S' C$ g1 H7 _. W; s) L0 \or forward with love
- a6 @( [" {& E$ v8 ~  x4 k: m, {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.