Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: ^" j$ i4 ^) @# W4 Y! u; N9 ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


. `: @5 p7 T0 w  RJOB DESCRIPTION:
8 b+ z1 t9 O2 R4 JLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ A( K3 Q& q- B+ l; E& K6 SCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. \: S. J/ r0 ~3 ]/ f0 r' b3 Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 Y6 N  T, z4 {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 h6 Z8 [0 N2 ^9 ]) c3 vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ M0 w4 O" q( N  W( |! J9 d0 Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 n3 @4 g- n' M/ BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
, I2 t( _5 J* W2 ~Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, X0 h3 ]1 R0 y: c& j& ]  XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 j% f, z- z7 |4 a1 uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. u' ?2 N( r) _* u5 ]in case, this time, the screams from
* A! E+ @" d' m9 B8 z" g& e( E, Ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% k& f" P( b( c' L6 ~: FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; Z; ]1 x  k0 isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
9 k4 X! c8 S  C) O$ }% o. M6 JMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* y! S7 F7 J' a; pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
' L: z* V" b- w. H& UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ n3 Y: Y* ~9 C* C) W6 F+ }' ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 N; ^, ?$ M1 N" YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 ~; _: @- `; @) athe quality of the end product.
" ]" y$ ~: E: v0 z7 bResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; l8 v4 B3 `$ ^# G7 t3 Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

( c' f, a  T6 W. U7 zPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, E" U5 P8 S7 \, rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
& [7 ^+ n: \1 ~+ X$ hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! w- z: J4 O5 ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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- Q0 _- o9 d+ |3 x! WPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
: C$ p4 C% {: g. u0 HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 g2 u7 X1 S5 ]9 A! h9 GWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% J# i; q( a- u6 e) O/ s) U8 rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ E" N3 h* a1 f; Q/ p0 n. ?The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ s4 ~- D1 G8 u# \/ \& c7 Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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6 J. y: k# o; I. T4 F; i) Z" TBENEFITS:
2 z2 S4 d2 O; X# ?6 n+ RWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 K# Q7 v. M" k. ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( K6 ]5 f( u' Y5 A" Q. x) O" Ano stock options are offered,
- |. b  d- [0 Y9 G3 n" A- c2 g# fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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9 R9 D5 ?+ W9 u3 r4 R1 k** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" u5 R2 p# Q1 b  U- L8 [0 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 |  Y& D- f2 ?( B; y' I! A- _- zfor the fabulous job they do...
; z5 o$ P- N0 v1 y& W! d4 ]: Oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.