Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! M, d. \. V$ m% Z& A: K; ?$ ZMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


3 Q* c- c- C  n- g$ ]: oJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" M. q9 H) |. b+ _Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 H  U, m6 l9 V+ f: ?% Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* Z" }5 ^' e: Q: E! ?8 Q: |+ Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
: n* J5 ]5 b* V" wThe rest of your life.
: n) a' Y- o  I. K7 ^5 l! hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) j4 [) o) \# H; g; M- QAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 |7 z! Q8 U2 Gin case, this time, the screams from
$ V" N' ]8 C7 kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) f5 t, {! ^7 b/ r+ iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& m) [* @  x+ s# eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 E% }& H& h4 ^. ?Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 Y" e1 O% t- G8 ?2 M7 i9 Tthe quality of the end product.
& Q3 \; e' Q; [2 NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 v( r4 S# H- U7 z0 S9 e) djanitorial work  throughout the facility.
, Q/ J* Y" Q; h/ B; ]) L
. ~: \0 N4 E2 _8 |, h9 `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. b: V8 g: h, t0 S1 E; Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' n. i- Z* _4 e" l/ E+ Nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
8 ^; P$ E, [/ e; J+ A8 X

( y7 _2 f- X  E: {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 o0 x# Y+ t/ P: i" S1 H& zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 F7 R, b5 J( X7 f% k
2 o* q- v# ~" ?& x2 }& I8 P" ?WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  X, p+ k8 d( s/ m- \4 gGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' `9 A$ F2 N! a" P. n! @5 Zof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: N8 |$ \. G( E; `$ z9 I, UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
! a9 G4 v5 L3 J' |/ u
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 L+ u9 }) t$ m3 W% U/ h& L# k/ Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ `/ N( e4 w5 W0 @no stock options are offered,
! R0 u( m/ ~2 A' c; a$ nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

/ B5 i! i, L" ~! }) _6 Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

# J8 ]# Q" P" v& F7 f$ Q' a/ {7 m# Dfor life if you play your cards right.
; b; H* v' e$ r. J  \
7 V) d7 ?5 H- ~: T* @


# O( }9 ?! ^- m7 m- R5 N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



  h0 w: z8 _& NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
+ b* ^7 D* _, uor forward with love
- b$ U& E5 d. [; ?/ n; ?# X/ dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.