Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ T# k, _- N: _2 `; yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 L% t& N; }* Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; ~. _8 H/ F1 o6 ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 R3 ]3 m5 q/ W3 _% ~! gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
& ^  }6 C5 a; [2 O6 h7 W6 ZThe rest of your life.
* d1 p0 B2 T" h1 o# F, _0 F  qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  M4 S$ j! u) o$ {1 P/ P3 AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& @0 L7 L5 I1 ]9 L3 [/ p$ dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 ?3 r, T" G$ b% min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 z% [( e5 L; J" U# q3 j8 c/ _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 V. V* a# b' I$ I* |/ Kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 q: P$ N+ m: C& B+ t( ]) wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: q  m6 V2 A- e" YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
# H: n9 q' z& p, n- r3 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 ]9 W  u3 B: o  h) |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. w6 Z7 L$ o( T' C& {4 K( r6 pMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 ]6 C/ h3 J! \- VMust assume final, complete accountability for
, x2 j. s8 h3 j, ~1 \6 {the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. G: [. I7 o) v0 ~janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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5 F* s, ?5 ?% l2 `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  G+ V( c1 y5 U3 LNone.
& |- d/ p& w6 ]9 T0 UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 w" j) g- P; t/ Ycan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 n8 z9 O9 B! @. h7 [/ ?None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; y* _& T# n4 D, ]Get this! You pay them!
$ \0 n& o3 x& \( l+ s9 R, ~Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 o, s( V6 M; S! X& L8 m# Ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 Q" O& r& p; gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! a5 j0 r7 ]. S; H7 HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 S9 N1 L9 n3 J0 n% t# Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' U5 N- Y% F' `) fBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; a$ o1 x  b, m& |0 V; W% q: |: nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" ?: g7 [8 A* b. u1 W& B! Sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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  v" y% _' M2 _; O: q8 t** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 I* s# [$ u5 T  t& u# }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 P  l* T( R, p9 C. `' Q; I8 L8 _( S2 Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.