Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

" L, u) J: m% c7 ~/ e; v8 }0 U) Wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- l  B( l$ h) T4 Q  ]Candidates must possess excellent communication
# \- t3 o9 F/ O  ?: \" H6 ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
; d- Z: W9 M0 F. P4 M" E  }8 T$ qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  [: y8 l1 E3 m7 D8 D6 I- ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( @9 ?9 ?+ C* C7 {* g4 VExtensive courier duties also required.

+ S) C/ u! s" \RESPONSIBILITIES:
) k/ S. J% F3 t# e& E: u0 I& mThe rest of your life.
3 C  H) j: q/ y2 mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 f: E/ K! o* o6 V" A; ]1 D: m: YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 t0 i; s* Q# G0 Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& Q% R! r' c- t2 i0 l1 ^: ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& y$ v3 }) A( Q6 ?* A8 I3 TMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 a6 v; v1 H8 J+ o$ zan embarrassment the next.
6 n4 t- W$ y3 W; ]! V3 Y8 uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 n: d! `& b" i/ n+ Y) B5 {Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) G  z9 a4 `9 e) s2 w& {janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! g# ~, M6 Y2 a5 Y2 YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. i- f: \+ i5 F9 `$ ?Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


, e7 j  }8 f/ u% G0 N# l) {" `PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, U5 G* e% F7 q: j; @: A! l' Z  v( kNone required, unfortunately.
7 z6 q- r+ L% O- h7 i, u* SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( n: e* N/ y# p$ c4 a7 d' d$ dGet this! You pay them!
5 _2 |) V7 v9 `/ Y. I' H" A  nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 }- q; A7 n* O% i" H% n$ P# d* ]of the assumption that college will help them
. r/ x9 x1 _# M4 z# L6 r' mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! H8 C6 T+ }. HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" I4 y: o$ w2 F% ]8 U5 Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ J% E6 E4 D5 S# j* r- Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% m% w! w' j/ S. wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, d2 O) b8 z6 [  x7 u) z* t: D: ffor life if you play your cards right.

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* M- k6 O+ o8 g! S) |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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5 d* g) ~, n/ s& H1 F6 M/ LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' V# Z9 ?3 l: b2 O/ z1 m; V+ N4 Zletting them know they are appreciated
5 y1 \$ U% I* [3 u, @: s4 ?for the fabulous job they do...
& j% q" U: R- W1 Q; s* `$ L3 aor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.