Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 E5 T0 u3 Q. f, k- E2 ^+ K+ y" C/ \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ I, N* i9 u2 X+ b; Q* A* J
2 x) m" T, f- E9 u7 aJOB DESCRIPTION:
5 N7 `0 U& L) M! }' m) a% }' |Long term, team players needed for challenging,

) n+ w9 M! J. Q$ \2 C9 Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ }6 _4 f: A, @' ?  z* Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ l4 U' q! q& Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& r! R( r# S7 {; c! |8 x9 Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ B) w9 o! S  j, M- z, LTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

  A8 k: Y; B: ]- v1 U  FRESPONSIBILITIES:
0 A$ \- \2 i  ~* a* A5 }( AThe rest of your life.
/ L. N/ ~0 ?- {- ^# J$ Y9 i! o4 x% wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 j3 n. M3 V; w: M( a' fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) _+ v9 Y0 A6 l9 k7 {4 O! s% [( @' Aand stuck zippers.
" l% d( N5 \+ [6 m5 @% b% I& m: fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' [6 e  E" r) J1 J, PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" A( C: u! B3 R8 o8 uan embarrassment the next.
: C( f( p8 A# F. D  _) T1 q% rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) g# S2 i2 b+ k, r  N3 Z$ g4 s% bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
' S5 i) u1 Z/ U. F
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 O6 G4 J6 q; r+ ^# vNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


0 ]$ J; q9 x8 h  r% Y3 Q5 O$ mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 \# P+ \9 l9 j$ c( q7 o% JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 J, D4 q0 C7 ^8 ~5 E& C) nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 O* B5 X  X% X  nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( u& }9 i: d5 s: _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) r  f9 v) e. F+ x4 C; |- V: bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  j" x2 m- x% y+ s& \) \. J7 ~no stock options are offered,
) ]5 e! ~0 S2 k( Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 G  b7 @3 h( r' S  x
$ j$ H2 }3 K" r! e% e4 {' F$ ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- T4 }! \; q9 c; |* F3 o" Ufor life if you play your cards right.
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8 M( w  A2 V/ D" X' y6 p) y
: k& v6 f( d& t) ?- |; u: S8 L3 q
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
5 I/ [8 N# j, ^% R5 s  d6 b

+ w4 H4 _& t  x. F. c7 x
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 A5 {) Z& P; [/ I% Y& s3 L3 Eletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) o/ _( D. [+ v6 {. }" [or forward with love
  ~% U+ O3 G8 f( {/ U# P" S. I  wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

$ |) ~5 z, n0 ~6 W/ O

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.