Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) U# s- w7 u$ SDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! }3 k& B* G9 HJOB DESCRIPTION:
) s' _' G- X. ]' e! e+ ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 I! L/ ~. i6 w& [6 ~' xCandidates must possess excellent communication
4 J2 I" v5 E$ Q& k1 T4 J4 @1 Aand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 x) e& o* E5 S+ Y" bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 U3 |! P% m: c- h: |; s0 N1 VSome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ I  j8 @' m# Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 X( u& B( X5 b5 r) K! }RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ C0 {6 J) E  e6 |! Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* o) L( S3 Z! y8 R; ~. u: R9 LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 ~9 L+ h4 g5 i* Bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 Q) P  `* f( z, ^! b; G$ I" X8 p% nand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 {" j5 c) u- z9 p' S. Zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* r8 h) O4 M5 Q0 p1 z; \: E* ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: _7 P8 G, b( X6 `Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; j1 p! i, w1 zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 A: C3 N" ]! nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- e3 e' g) M  i9 l/ Z+ k2 p8 d2 PNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
; o' E; U" M) x3 j4 _) ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 a* h) c) J8 CNone required, unfortunately.
3 V7 a/ h: c7 z, R% }7 iOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' l8 X+ J/ ^9 iGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: s  {. o# l' @2 b( ?+ Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  _6 q& L7 H( W* m6 w/ i  r6 O2 |of the assumption that college will help them
) m1 t! S6 Y( h, S+ Y2 hbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& T8 l$ m: ]+ [) ~9 s8 V: a2 DBENEFITS:
* z9 N5 F6 y. p5 _4 L1 HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) O9 R( }! F9 |3 L5 eno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* ?2 }' d. \% o9 Y7 xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 ^% `0 f$ P! p( I" mfor the fabulous job they do...
7 ?8 w/ ~  g! y' D4 |or forward with love
* \4 ]. y& j* l5 U/ Q# ^7 qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.