Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: p4 N7 H, f2 f0 Z5 r: H2 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 a. A: I8 b' b3 D  l% `JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 Y. F' L8 O# D/ fLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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* T+ W; I, `5 G) V2 _permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 e% \; z3 [% c' J# x  p4 d# DCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 z, I: e4 X1 c, w& G1 xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ a) r& L2 B! y& t, tThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; Z* Z3 r& _9 S, H' q0 p6 ^' huntil someone needs $5.
& U. `( m7 @& M! j* [! SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ o) _4 M8 g7 oAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# [8 I0 G. v- f; W1 iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. Y! ~8 R, k" \" }and stuck zippers.
- m# C2 Z0 W" v* Y5 \  lMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- Z4 ^+ {% K. v1 t' p7 {$ U" h  fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# E" H: B/ A2 Q: c0 V4 A3 [8 x7 pan embarrassment the next.
+ L) ?* y/ ?0 x; U1 m  v+ X- G+ mMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 B" F$ `' ]2 K* S  {& G9 g  YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  \7 l. l; P! {' `( }+ xMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
+ J; \1 h0 y8 |! p: nResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 S$ k, C; H& jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
( R* d" U; L3 A7 q+ S) D9 qYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 h( b% b. W  a/ E) F* R( Nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
) U) @4 u( E$ _5 r  o5 XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 |$ ?. ?) T) fWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ h( ^8 {; Q+ qGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 F5 {! t1 t% F0 la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- i* l9 @5 |' a* w* jof the assumption that college will help them
$ Q) S8 ^8 D+ Abecome financially independent.
' H* J! d0 e8 g, {7 J8 eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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9 Q" X  Z5 P* p4 O6 YBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 X  ?& _  P/ i* n! k+ J" _no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
# ~- ^1 [& }/ g  kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ X: `, p2 G, Q0 M/ {4 l& r3 J
for life if you play your cards right.


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2 z6 [" U& ~% G  v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. p5 s: |! z% v/ G* tletting them know they are appreciated
  s0 |4 w9 x2 g6 n( p* Zfor the fabulous job they do...
- J8 I8 d$ Z4 d$ i5 V* O) q# {or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.