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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
' p* p& T$ k1 c: y7 {  j# }' c( }" A- lMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 A# r. V9 D, L' }* DDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) f/ Z+ f! ~1 d* @( G/ t+ EJOB DESCRIPTION:5 u5 I4 |( K! p7 B+ e- D5 F% W/ S
Long term, team players needed for challenging,0 w9 ^' i" x- y3 l) z+ \% ]

/ v: i; e. F8 k- q2 S' {+ q+ |permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 7 u/ u) k+ U( \* s9 K- G  _3 k
Candidates must possess excellent communication $ f9 w$ w* e: @. w. I
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* |$ S0 b! E: {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends : B1 r% z! c) {
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 3 {& b' f+ B6 w( y; H$ \
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 7 x9 r- N1 a# @; M% d1 p: p" O
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and , z1 N* Q$ {! c+ A4 H% t6 H
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* z$ H* K3 {( V' h. u+ yTravel expenses not reimbursed. . z/ A4 J2 @; s4 s! g# u
Extensive courier duties also required. # `4 ?( K8 m  g1 `: {5 k2 k8 K; F

; T" m" P; I( jRESPONSIBILITIES:
* z1 }# r* L( ]9 h: D* {9 TThe rest of your life.
6 L# e8 g: s# V, `( x3 j6 LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 4 b+ @, N) }1 ~
until someone needs $5.   T. `) N5 ?! T* e
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ; `) E$ k3 T- T$ @, n  s' V( l
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) r* ?; @$ B: @! }" |and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 M5 }( o( z% J4 c9 lin case, this time, the screams from 3 y! X/ ?$ G6 p  s3 z+ ]3 I4 w
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ' |9 b0 |& H: C1 B8 N3 g' c
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 S) C$ W5 A5 b/ I! g) r9 {such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 4 Y* ~* A4 i5 E' m% g2 f
and stuck zippers.
7 {1 J' y/ |  P% u$ p. O1 IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! E9 f8 a! m1 fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" u. o6 q2 \1 _4 `- _  z+ }* yMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. - ?- s% ]' P5 q  A* a
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ! f# e, j1 F: r( D9 {, I
an embarrassment the next.
+ e4 o8 R) j& q: KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 N" }8 N% F5 Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 2 B: c/ \$ Z/ s  P. [: N# a8 P+ z
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ' q, m! m! x1 a) W
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* c* x' H) y9 Y+ B. ~3 ^, p% Athe quality of the end product.
, w4 \0 N  O1 J$ y! [6 y0 ]( ^& }1 WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 ^; P+ b9 h: e6 Y$ pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:, {: P. R% S& j# Q4 L  W
None.
* |9 A& _# r& T. G5 c! W: g2 zYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 2 M0 n3 x) _* H8 n
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 ^# x  }* Z. q4 z$ E0 j$ Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge * ?8 K+ h. T* G8 t6 ]/ B$ @4 Z
can ultimately surpass you." `5 G* D0 G% N2 `
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4 S* t8 i$ m- x" `+ i7 a' IPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: . |# n- E! J4 R2 b! E
None required, unfortunately. 0 J/ I; `0 e. F: e, C$ Q
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ; B, n( j0 v3 w4 Y6 z
Get this! You pay them! , ]( @8 ]: B- v3 a
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  Z& o- g+ e6 r: V* |8 {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 W& Z; n6 R% uof the assumption that college will help them
) {5 Z: h  @* m" [become financially independent. 5 Y8 m1 a9 D: G2 i0 q/ o
When you die, you give them whatever is left. - F  @7 ^. f7 t: o/ c6 J4 \
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that + o6 c/ D% \7 n( A* M
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: $ ^/ [- z8 K5 W/ p: ?/ n
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ' u& {5 b5 i9 E; R, P
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ( J4 v4 W  h1 i$ O/ s
no stock options are offered,
0 x! y; X; r5 W1 C* }this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, * p# M0 W" S3 S  {. C* Y5 x0 W) J

1 M8 ^: V  b7 {. u' Ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses / W0 A+ v" c4 G# M$ c
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **0 \; j9 ^; @- \/ }. ?" s) ?
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, * T3 Y* ?3 X) O* U4 E
letting them know they are appreciated $ G  Z0 g8 R7 }  f& ?% W/ |
for the fabulous job they do... - k3 ?1 R0 c/ x# m( L
or forward with love 4 l  `  R! ]$ f& j' e% Q2 ]
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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