 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma # e7 ^- q4 ^$ S; i( a8 y7 ^
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa4 g( C9 t0 F( }) o1 ?- O) M
3 b' s: Z/ ]; Q3 C- K) y4 B% X
6 j" c; r4 Z. m, NJOB DESCRIPTION:% s& |( m$ k1 X6 E
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
! ?( y) L' x9 ^9 D$ c+ ?
4 w6 m$ G) e6 apermanent work in an often chaotic environment. ) }& @+ d, z7 |% U
Candidates must possess excellent communication , v5 a3 }. G3 f! n3 s4 L: ^$ L5 |
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 j! ]5 O- ^1 l/ B8 N ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 6 c$ \5 V$ ~ o8 r4 U
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, \' L7 c* p* B+ X( }0 E+ |Some overnight travel required, including trips to ; R6 C9 \& G; }" u! b' B
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and : Z' B7 t B H
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: D. k: b# h3 X5 r) u& A! ?+ P( J$ DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) d4 ^ }$ J2 L7 W/ UExtensive courier duties also required. " I) e6 s, y5 P
5 u4 h1 ~# @" X0 @RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 y9 x/ \; y/ u: f2 t7 _The rest of your life.
; O0 }: e% C+ O: G5 eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 6 i M/ I/ ^* q* h+ X
until someone needs $5. & N* K) n) _) [* T
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 2 s! q( m2 B8 I: U2 Z$ J' ~; e- {5 a0 w
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, h4 [! P% r7 E7 m0 xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 4 k% M' ?# a5 T
in case, this time, the screams from " _# s% R0 b$ A3 _* X$ ]
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 4 e9 q* z' y0 {1 f: L- ^
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 |; U8 }% _+ U. H& E; d9 x5 fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 7 j7 B+ U* m$ q2 E' P+ y
and stuck zippers.
& _& M7 k& n% B$ [# RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! T5 a+ g& a6 a( gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. + L; V1 ?/ H. ^# \; M5 u3 W
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& s- O' q3 |4 J s' \& oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, : \4 g3 H7 ] o( l. d
an embarrassment the next. % \8 a( |4 p: b7 z: _
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a % T$ Z2 `# v$ @) P/ E3 F8 R" }
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. & _, X7 v, p. v4 y4 b m. ?$ L
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ' H: L* N2 R2 d' u2 V$ y
Must assume final, complete accountability for
; A, a- [6 z& ethe quality of the end product. 6 x9 T- v' ?6 y& e. {6 j3 f
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and , R5 {, _* }+ X+ \
janitorial work throughout the facility.
. L( l1 u5 V, K; f: t1 ?, C- r4 }* i5 l$ U6 x D$ j1 X
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: d+ r1 J% A; z% H1 LNone. : l+ S- L2 z# [ I9 ^2 C; j/ Y
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 \/ h# L2 }& O+ G9 `without complaining,constantly retraining and
# i" o8 }" Q; l, Q3 M2 Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ) {& \' X1 t' \* P# @: \4 c4 b
can ultimately surpass you.
: L6 m Z6 B9 c( v) J" Q3 ^3 E. \* v5 B8 N! s5 @
- s$ z4 Q8 T3 v: p3 ~
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: * ?$ ^8 l& t$ G% L( Y: o, ^9 G
None required, unfortunately.
/ z6 P, ~, V" ~/ ?- LOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
' @. x+ |$ U: v% G) c
% ?* |$ `+ T* @- W" a/ H+ vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 I% k" V% V2 \, wGet this! You pay them!
4 z+ x G- K8 P3 d0 h4 j8 aOffering frequent raises and bonuses. C0 @; Q4 |6 H* I" t
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 8 R9 x; i. Q9 g) u" i$ Y8 {+ w
of the assumption that college will help them + Q4 n% I. |' B
become financially independent. 7 v3 `5 l* w7 R1 J6 }6 q2 Z' [
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ E; L5 k! f4 n" tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 0 @- ^# n3 O! Q$ [0 E
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ @% |1 {% {% @ n, r* F+ S7 f
" s: I5 H B- R# t; T6 BBENEFITS:
! X3 Q- B8 N- g" ^, jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" D! h) l3 @, F% \# S$ ^ Qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 7 p# X( e$ H' H Y9 m5 G" {
no stock options are offered,' _' E: }8 ?8 e5 \
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, # C) a- ?& c9 o; b+ b
0 Q. Q; g9 R6 Z- S# [0 k3 X' junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses Y" E) i2 l6 ?2 P. J! S& }: @
: A: D: S) M V Z2 L
for life if you play your cards right.) g2 ]8 p/ u. [, V }* T0 @. ~
5 N- ]* v7 ?) l5 P) F$ y! |5 ?
2 t; U: f- [) f# h: Z
0 c6 X3 w7 I7 E# k5 a) U/ x- i* h
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **6 ]$ _1 }2 F, R) n4 G3 U1 g; X
9 ^! j2 ^' H) G1 t
' H7 `; G/ s8 o* M
, ~/ m. y- ^# h7 Y; W7 @Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- y+ K2 `; x+ a+ T' q' Y, Y7 X" Uletting them know they are appreciated
0 |- F; l# M: f) {- Z# `4 Kfor the fabulous job they do... ' E; u+ m' e' b+ l
or forward with love
9 F1 Y" x3 r; t* rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.( Q' v- A h2 D
5 w2 T6 X b! h/ m |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
