Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# G' {, q! J& EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" J# @3 s4 s* |  ^* N$ a% rDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
' u8 s% s4 d; j3 v$ sLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; h; l9 r" s" p5 p3 t- i# ~Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ t3 V! r7 k. M9 v; Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- c6 x) f' D8 {+ z' l; ?2 w' q9 cTravel expenses not reimbursed.
4 W! [3 a5 Y! y5 D5 X, p' uExtensive courier duties also required.

' u$ V7 p- a8 D5 a& k6 lRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
' |1 [& O( X7 }& uMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 H: C5 v; J8 c3 Z7 n  _' o  F- ?the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; u$ S6 l0 ?4 Q4 zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% W6 C# E6 j/ e1 r. SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& p7 a, v& |  Q+ Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  {- J' F6 r' Z+ W5 r; u3 Ran embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- @- u! [6 m, _7 d+ e' YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ p$ A6 f; V2 _. jMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 q2 e, f3 a, }; [. V( U- WNone.
% Q4 a9 K: S" O1 F: j) kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( T& }5 {; ]6 S1 S9 q: h0 x! n- l* iGet this! You pay them!
+ Z$ W3 |" N( wOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 J# b$ u% w7 D: @& K( za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& `8 L" ]) }) ^7 x" `! h, _, A7 pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& {9 B' |6 O: |9 z* tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 f) k0 M# S8 H! r; m6 B- i5 Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 }) t6 F: N( t" \6 g& ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

9 `. Q7 N( Q0 |) c+ s) _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' z5 T) n5 y" F6 W5 Zfor life if you play your cards right.
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6 g2 G# Q8 W% R+ z! M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 a  @4 `# s" K& f" N5 H. dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* g! h/ U! K7 D$ uletting them know they are appreciated
' z7 E% [! z/ V: ~% _" x9 ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.