Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


- o( J; e! A. M0 v+ H: `0 ~! iJOB DESCRIPTION:
! z. o7 `! G+ ^7 |( dLong term, team players needed for challenging,

0 J# V2 t' B% Kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
# B- B# `. `: h3 n5 Nand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- P8 Z0 S: g; `$ y% Q  D2 M! k& Oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- ?; t# U. L+ G  uSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ ], g7 L& H& e6 `; e* H, s' uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 a  i7 p# e  F! SRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 U9 O; }! C" u+ o) R( a  i; s3 MThe rest of your life.
) j0 u' B1 x4 f4 F$ @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 J- m1 X% r: i8 M# \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; j2 H( f, X# \+ _, Vin case, this time, the screams from
; f5 \9 X6 d4 _: T1 nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ [# M# h1 W# t) O! w2 MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 r1 f1 h' L  Z% S$ S, ?& x' |: m5 Vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- z) }2 U! _( R. o5 m2 MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 S: w8 b. N! ^# ]) Q3 B1 ?an embarrassment the next.
! g+ C# U, ^' f0 x* hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# L  b$ f6 L0 [( m' sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 u. d/ Q( P* b4 ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' C* Z/ Q; w5 [) rNone.
9 h0 Y6 p4 O+ F+ |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ s2 S4 I+ {- Y1 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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: N% E, M5 p; p: y  WPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 G+ }- X1 [! Z3 j/ d  wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 {: j1 w" s  D+ W  qbecome financially independent.
- k" r5 U+ s# y5 F+ uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ M5 P+ r0 ~0 F$ `3 C" C0 U' @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ E, Q  s2 C5 `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
# d) F! X7 y+ v  ]7 U; R( j' J& `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
  F# F& g2 c6 f" e7 o- L' h. ^7 ~1 _
8 M8 w' E+ [( f" @. V7 J; Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* E3 N( x" Z, g% R" _7 T* H
for life if you play your cards right.
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0 I6 L5 ^* P" V5 f2 t( ?0 W! F3 b
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

, J; i" d8 {# o: K

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  t- @8 R0 |( y! A# Hor forward with love
/ J) E* t$ h  S: B; I; tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.