Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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  l# N" Y3 ^( e3 h) g4 O4 UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

/ t3 K4 H: _8 d. A; ^, n0 jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! M; u& v4 o, r8 ECandidates must possess excellent communication
& W1 w0 N; p  @  m0 A# w3 _7 Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 Y& m8 |' o$ n9 ^( i7 C: E. Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 r7 E7 t5 P9 }5 Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. v: J: w$ X, u4 w7 ^+ \  O1 V* oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  F5 A: S# m, a/ H# iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 D7 \' u9 ?, V1 Q9 kExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
& E0 G' i: Z+ C7 b( i6 IThe rest of your life.
8 ]! e$ s2 @6 e- ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; {# |" [  `0 \9 F: S4 }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 h5 `1 k, v1 _! c$ EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 h7 p$ ^  c6 Y7 S: ^and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 o1 i; N) r* l+ jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 y  V' I: K- [/ B; hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
7 y/ ?) o  v  e2 v' N8 X3 UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 N* `' j% C; z0 r, w# Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 W- s9 X! M7 _. x/ bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! }& j  s1 Y# _$ [9 i2 d4 sMust assume final, complete accountability for
% }+ W9 M1 e/ N+ a3 i" ~the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% R5 l* Y2 x) I. Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ c% P5 f2 ~' Y$ f0 k8 ^1 e; ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 n9 H) U6 C( fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
) U' `- E* f) Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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- [9 t% Z4 t+ A5 c; Z. ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! l, r) E. I3 X3 ANone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

7 M% x* N9 `  X+ M3 OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ k2 I1 D( b' ^Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
# _* L9 r( \4 c. z, L5 AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 Z/ v2 `( e9 T3 c; Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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7 H& k& O+ T2 GBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
* A% y; H  c1 W3 Zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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& c% p4 d. d: W+ m" j5 r9 Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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" c) Y5 {2 @; s) d* I8 p* ], i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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# E" s0 R- d! i( J" q
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 K9 ^6 C  {1 m* V/ t: P6 L4 \for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
6 ?8 }7 q  U0 W- Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.