Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' m7 U' P' {1 d& B/ F# A4 ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% }2 H- l$ o0 l5 f; w5 [Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 w- A$ u. j/ z. C0 Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 ~' M$ z! ^0 l, f, o& land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ C6 p+ e% }1 j, oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
4 h: w& _$ ?6 E! m( `7 tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 }7 O, i. {. g- m6 ^The rest of your life.
) j8 @0 B% @$ d8 ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
! q  F6 C5 I/ O" t' t7 w, [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) y0 A4 `, C8 sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 v  }! L3 C" tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" _# u' Q$ \. @% @Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: q& N$ q5 N& q/ [such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; c" r# Z: Q6 b! d4 pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 J7 G/ d5 e+ h# o/ SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 ?6 x0 ~# N, O& M6 _Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  a/ M4 ?. a3 t) t) thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 D) D+ j9 A" s* M8 e8 A) }Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- @' i7 v7 ?  wMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, ^. C/ ~2 c$ w7 z  F& S' iPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 j3 W( s" ~8 T) I4 T7 N' p; Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 A3 p2 [& q3 |8 |' L& y% n' m  Acan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! i+ h# Y: t7 J& Cof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
* ?; @% k, P& z% pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. R3 `" q7 L; \1 Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: h& `) ]2 \$ o) x) ~BENEFITS:
: ?& g3 U+ E& E$ x' x; S# u. F7 sWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ q9 d  o8 o; w3 L3 Qno stock options are offered,
. }5 L3 v. Z, P) B# U" Wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. Y* }* W6 w) E7 Z  h% Aletting them know they are appreciated
4 f; Q. z: Y: {5 \# ^for the fabulous job they do...
0 b! K* f+ V  ]7 v9 A+ j% xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.