Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. r8 _3 I$ G% X9 p+ }Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- u% [, }( I/ ?( N: UDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! K; w; Z5 N1 i% z5 t2 EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
4 w2 W( F! Q/ k; B; ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 Q) }! ]. Y. J' @& `/ Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 z0 ?& Q& h: W* h3 a1 ?( bTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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. s  e0 W- h7 ^( XRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ @1 R: r+ ~, G2 F4 R9 rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 b% Z. a; U& ?3 C8 W# n. juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" b6 x. c& L; Z2 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- x4 B" c  |1 I, i; J7 I9 pin case, this time, the screams from
) j! V1 j6 a- v9 f4 \the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 m$ D! @7 X1 @& z$ L8 {' YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 P, Q0 ?5 o0 r1 Xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
8 v6 }2 D: y" d4 Q$ ]* o2 e+ LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; e- \1 u. q# V! E5 ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ d  W& V% P; `& e1 rMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( \0 x1 ?, e4 y1 f7 I9 Q( W  Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 T3 Q! I& z6 b7 BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 O; m7 ]$ I1 `3 @7 E) lNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 `* J* D4 W5 {  T  \: }$ E- T& K: Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
3 Z3 A7 C- H( Y0 D& {0 Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 z8 C+ \( I7 t- |' B5 ?3 RNone required, unfortunately.
) P/ r/ o# _* B: O1 U7 Z$ q5 JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ v, k$ _+ E9 ]" h) C; ZWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 f$ r5 o% l  eGet this! You pay them!
& t0 Y0 l/ k$ ^$ ]; B- L; IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 e3 F" Y3 t' q% Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, U+ J8 Q/ i& [, f# n$ bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 D5 x5 b: L& \' {1 jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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; |; T# O- y% i# q5 u. J' q  U1 aBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* }  A' m% W! Z5 z9 v) R+ K0 M9 dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, s8 j7 a  R- r9 g: o; h, Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ Q# s" i; e. [% \. Q( Y* gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.