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: P; _* O3 @/ G! E/ ^% C# S- l& tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma . u0 d) }2 @6 b# R+ T
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa7 o# R o' i7 e# [; X: d; x, e
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( i7 r9 ]* X5 I, Q5 |JOB DESCRIPTION:: P$ ?9 \3 ^( W1 g i+ w
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# M, X; k! u. }1 f. b0 z7 h* q3 B
, @& S8 H! w/ M! r3 K5 M' Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 7 G$ g, p- C$ G$ J
Candidates must possess excellent communication 9 h" s$ U" M% `8 ]2 ~
and organizational skills and be willing to work ! ~: ]4 L1 O& Y6 m8 _1 Z
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ ~1 H4 o9 A& R3 qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 l% X1 b8 W9 d, K6 ?Some overnight travel required, including trips to 6 z Z% S( n+ `) ^; r
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 v4 R0 l2 K. D: [/ zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 R1 g( y3 p2 VTravel expenses not reimbursed. : y2 _. @! N' S# U* N4 t1 _
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 {1 F0 j3 W; @# S, H6 `The rest of your life.
! P: u5 C* W2 |! F( f9 A2 v( pMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, % D" _! t& \/ L+ ~
until someone needs $5. " s2 m7 u9 B* b8 C8 w# t
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( J- V6 Q# g1 p: g2 qAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ `; ~1 f) L8 D! H5 Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat / }5 ^2 |" W$ E* }
in case, this time, the screams from
) A# @( n5 r- L, y6 l" f) N! dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' j9 z* f+ j# G8 d) U! X- B1 lMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 1 H, b+ |* J; C4 }, c: }- y
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- F8 _! T( A# O0 J. \8 z6 Eand stuck zippers.
3 W, f1 Q0 m4 xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and . {( K1 t6 b f" a* j
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( w1 ~1 k, u* w% ?8 ]3 OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 6 T _" _' d* H/ B/ T$ f( ?5 B6 H
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, + j( n/ ~% j6 x2 Q( x' u0 |
an embarrassment the next. 3 X: b5 n5 h# K# g( n
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ ]/ M: X5 M1 s" phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. % p: @) r& ?7 v; Q* h
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ! M5 C, b: b. W& z2 f8 f
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 i3 \& {7 f; o- rthe quality of the end product. 7 J; U6 L2 Z9 j5 X. D# y
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# |5 \2 D+ n5 ?' p7 zjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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" E8 }+ R5 J) d- }0 h' @$ tPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:. J: B, m5 B5 s$ i5 @6 C
None.
9 l0 }1 ^1 D3 e2 ^( iYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 6 P" `& G/ o6 `8 Z, s* q
without complaining,constantly retraining and # ] b$ {# t: q4 p6 g: {
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' r3 u+ G% f- Z, X9 r$ J+ t+ y* h* zcan ultimately surpass you.
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4 T* ^) l# o. F5 Z5 A0 yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* Y) y6 M; q3 c# v# GNone required, unfortunately. 0 F \* n2 u9 Z1 a' G# P @' }9 Z
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: , _5 H$ l2 n: }' S" J
Get this! You pay them! * M# V( m% o: z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. / b3 b) i7 Q- C" D' ^7 G
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: J6 R7 b& n% ?- a6 W; q4 Uof the assumption that college will help them 9 w' s3 p5 p/ N8 C, `6 Z# E% B
become financially independent.
' n3 U* a2 W, @When you die, you give them whatever is left. , R- n' |$ p# l% g0 b& o
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! Y0 Q5 j- @, U0 X3 Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 1 u8 I" f% k& e
* A1 g4 v* W# o: f/ ~/ `/ J/ HBENEFITS: , l" o% L; G2 Q. A
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ; g; [" O( o* B8 J4 I$ u v2 t
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 6 N3 \4 R8 F% `2 \9 z" w: D4 P0 s
no stock options are offered,
* P, @) D- f0 S3 Cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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3 c) t) b0 n2 ?% I- J* C" Ifor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **6 V" D4 i6 R- I7 P) e- v
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; I$ i3 C& B$ l5 \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 1 R6 `% `/ e' o' V& O9 R0 k! ^+ c
letting them know they are appreciated
$ h% s3 ~0 E! U y1 K4 Sfor the fabulous job they do... 8 K4 V/ e9 E# L9 v3 _
or forward with love
9 m# c) E/ W5 Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.7 o% G% G7 e6 @1 B$ Y
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
