Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! Q2 c# y* U' B" WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 X0 g! S; I+ F8 ]# _; uJOB DESCRIPTION:
- D% {8 r1 u& N( ?  H8 ^# g7 TLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
& D( }& V  @# `2 ]2 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 s; Y/ p" _& @; I, Dand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 C8 g. r. P$ Q5 nSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 A- t/ n1 m' H, g& e2 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; s# H1 k6 a* z+ Z. PTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 u" A( f; A5 x( U- q' S2 o8 \% q) jExtensive courier duties also required.
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0 ?1 K( e5 ^- M" g( U$ F, vRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! D/ h; ~& _/ ]; ~5 Duntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* Y- r$ _# [7 H: D" eAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
; H; M3 o  G1 m1 J) m& M! m% }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 p; H1 Y, P) l* `' s" zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 L! u! {% L# T7 n/ nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 L$ c0 ?+ r3 ]/ K, tand stuck zippers.
& p" i% l* Y8 c' RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' Q9 T* ?; H- S" E. `) |Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! X2 K# }) x6 P% s' x  P8 x3 y. Tan embarrassment the next.
$ E) x% n) [# l- g# A% ]5 r" vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% d7 v( L% d( @0 O2 N" ~3 fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# }% V8 X' Y8 u0 A. k! ^& fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, `+ ~+ L6 r$ [: ~  k3 wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" s7 {, [2 ~% X; R, M' nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( ]/ ~. l9 S$ @% o5 `# n9 O. `None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. j9 ~7 R2 F9 v) Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 S7 F2 D' I6 r; t/ y9 A5 X2 p5 LNone required, unfortunately.
* p  `! ~3 i0 B. QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 [* ~% X: G# t5 s1 TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 `+ P3 k; F6 vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  C( f6 D' J5 cof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
. X: l4 q! z# O: }! d6 \7 sWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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" o) m) B5 M# ZBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 i) c" ^4 Y: ^/ Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' [/ V; X8 f& U' Z5 L5 S2 Z& zno stock options are offered,
  I4 S9 Z9 g; T" Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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6 a) t! ~1 f6 x, g# N7 O  w) @8 F3 hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

3 S3 m1 K7 h' [; v0 }6 p: Z8 K: |for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 a7 o; ?( Q& d9 x# dletting them know they are appreciated
$ Z. N9 z* w3 T6 a& |1 l, k& ?, lfor the fabulous job they do...
  O7 n; N6 T3 w1 D( J/ i. Zor forward with love
- a: i; ~) a  Y$ u/ V- I/ ?9 Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.