Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 l% X4 m& M6 h6 IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


$ v. O0 A9 Q7 {JOB DESCRIPTION:
8 s9 }0 x1 R* Q0 Q! y. XLong term, team players needed for challenging,

8 G  c, D" `% gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; i( Y- z% w, u$ c) XCandidates must possess excellent communication
) E% u$ ]' ^1 z4 c4 G& {/ l% \and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 \( n6 e8 a# w1 N. x, I( `3 v) Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- q/ ~& `3 |6 S; Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 b3 m" F1 Q! f0 u) M' ]! P& mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 h$ d; o% J& k. U& @9 S3 c1 }) YExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 |& I: \( U2 n( d4 p. |& _Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 m. U; d$ M  W8 cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 i' O' t3 ^4 r+ t/ _: a) p9 ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ T* V$ q8 J. g$ Z5 ]0 Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: N+ T0 T" a: g5 r2 h3 U/ j  Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* F4 a& M2 ~  ^% [Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 z( ~% w2 ~$ \, z! w1 _Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 M! t* I7 `# A: P9 n) B/ CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" O) @1 r! c5 \) c+ [) K0 N; {+ ban embarrassment the next.
* e2 I0 e+ M+ ~% j  FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 J5 M8 H- z7 J: I9 m, Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

# m, V+ ?  Y6 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' S" N6 o/ ^  F- T  O2 S4 ~None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" h9 M7 Y2 V6 n. |, D% V- _without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; L$ e8 _- k4 m* g" }- I' D6 `; ycan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) a5 P0 {' i) ^2 ]! D/ iNone required, unfortunately.
  m  u8 o" H8 H- K' C- COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
( w% g3 C! o" t- i) X: {become financially independent.
( Q) `9 q9 h, m+ ^7 TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
, |' E: Z" l$ }$ l! L8 Y3 I
2 }" H- P9 R: K8 w5 a, v5 tBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
% H8 Y4 c3 w* _' U# a0 k: Z& jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 ?8 A9 N8 [. T
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 w4 I8 F4 [9 B/ G# K
7 Y. a6 q$ `9 Z5 xfor life if you play your cards right.
' _3 f% x# V* Q& p2 c8 N" V/ s


; r+ I; Y# N( v3 p* c2 u+ l
2 f6 x( v, r- X, P" U5 {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



% r& `0 l( j2 T$ w$ @Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
% z4 S$ x) h( y5 F5 `
# @2 }2 a% y) i2 S. N

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.