Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* N' L7 I& Q/ r7 k0 KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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' [2 K4 I3 B) R. oJOB DESCRIPTION:
+ l& Q/ t. A3 U8 @Long term, team players needed for challenging,

* y) v. i" P6 R, E$ Xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& Y2 i3 Y6 P; z" iCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' O( @$ b9 `  C7 evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% l9 E2 ~# [' T* J0 C' eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, ]$ W6 D3 p) D8 N+ o# g- H/ _' m% LSome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 P7 r# b& [9 V- b4 q/ M: Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) r' x: {2 ~* Y+ aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 p6 y) a: [2 C! hExtensive courier duties also required.
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7 ~; k0 F& E6 |RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ t: S, G  X2 x) C' l$ wuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 ?5 o* [2 ]% H: ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
1 u( ]/ C) ]& O& ]8 x( lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 M1 u$ N: X; _9 f- h9 B8 O" yMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) y' q0 x% i/ L/ p* Zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" q- C4 Q# j$ Q4 \* ?9 ]3 Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
" P9 C( c9 F8 C; |( Bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( X7 |- n( F# X# C5 tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% v! N; Q; R. `8 w* M  {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 k! \+ c0 i$ q; {None required, unfortunately.
4 l1 o! ?9 ^1 gOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 M7 h; {. ^: uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- c5 m7 E& J/ U4 M, POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 b( c/ ~( s6 r) n3 R' Aof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
+ k: y9 Z; h  |) }* y* N2 `When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 N! y* |1 D( [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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: T$ B% _1 _- b0 H% M2 `9 Q/ Cfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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& g" ?$ M) Q* i5 A2 i, E/ CForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 H1 o9 o- N8 {2 y5 m& wfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( n; s( ]& Z% S/ t- ?. R$ qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.