Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 x. p/ D3 A7 ?) X' YMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% |: o' E, q( j( JLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 y3 Q0 s1 {/ Y/ N" ^9 z4 Eand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% l- ^, K% N0 Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 E* C( h7 i( `# K; k9 P' U$ k& PSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ X0 f4 `* \1 E* I9 v; jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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6 l6 I7 R' X; H; R( m( _$ {. JRESPONSIBILITIES:
9 D2 ~: |) u6 h9 }The rest of your life.
8 J/ a& A% C7 b1 v; |0 FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; L: L% E$ {+ U: N+ H  Z. j' runtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, ]! Z* F. ?1 z1 j7 G1 |in case, this time, the screams from
) Z6 m  x2 N- n- F9 ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( f' ^3 X, z3 c1 M0 _1 y$ Y( cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 D& W/ x" e' L2 l* S6 osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
/ v' ?. _$ o. S1 UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ ?+ W; {& e' J; |Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: }8 w) D" L. I3 s$ c6 man embarrassment the next.
, j" Q, H* Y0 K: OMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 l5 c9 a, e: X6 F- X) p/ zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) {) X9 O. o0 G2 x" M" jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
) K1 C1 S, z2 B( Iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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( v0 C; I2 B6 m/ L  U' l) p& h/ D6 @PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
; |! Z5 ]0 c. y9 q2 D8 |2 mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

6 Z% \8 X/ i4 bWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ M0 Q. N& h& J- y0 W# {- HGet this! You pay them!
% W! X/ Z, Z$ k6 x) j) pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
! P- `2 }7 ^' E& W1 ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ J  S. y: U9 Q: qof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 |/ Q- o- N! Z2 j4 bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) _7 f2 ]1 v5 qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! W! X" Q$ Z1 T9 Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
; ^9 j0 R5 o3 G. y9 vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" Q1 ^; E9 l- r. a; G# lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 m1 p( ?( t' y- F# @. b5 Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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- ]% [' H% E2 Z8 a3 x; w( T$ _* d5 M9 B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) P- O; o, R0 j9 \" W" q6 afor the fabulous job they do...
5 V7 U/ n4 S/ o. N0 W+ o9 l/ `or forward with love
, i1 s$ C* D" E; [" T% Nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.