 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ T& @6 U9 z- P- H( g8 k [! K! hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa$ ?) g, C5 Y: u* x9 Q$ J
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; C6 \) y% S. A+ i, RJOB DESCRIPTION:
! @3 Q; O& S/ m& {5 ~9 sLong term, team players needed for challenging,) a! Y4 {" m/ f' m' x. L0 C! C- X9 G0 a
0 G4 j, \- r$ M- K. }% }1 wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 2 F; f; u5 O- f
Candidates must possess excellent communication
( G; Q( h; l0 ]: M$ Land organizational skills and be willing to work
' l* t& |+ @! ?6 ^variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 3 p: u- M2 ]4 O2 N( `; D+ a% K9 ^, W* [
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 J$ W9 o# I, j/ Z) L+ XSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 c& I: n* ?" {( T8 x2 Z; Y6 Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% [8 T" P* J" yendless sports tournaments in far away cities! ' N" ~5 m( V1 T/ p, ]# S
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 ~8 b& h8 j9 `& D8 v" SExtensive courier duties also required.
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3 T6 h3 T' F! d* hRESPONSIBILITIES:
. o) R0 p7 t; H4 W+ b. sThe rest of your life. ) g1 @$ K) C2 b
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 v. h; N; N" J; funtil someone needs $5. 0 O' H$ a# f, F+ J7 O8 z5 R" P+ `
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 M! @- Z: p# F2 u m4 SAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule " u) p6 m% N I. b! ]
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 8 o3 G1 ?1 @) W( c& C0 x
in case, this time, the screams from 4 l4 l w* c" S k" X) ~! e
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 A3 g* k3 q. b; {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 4 C2 _- {9 |1 y% L( l% }2 x- \6 a$ Z
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 P Z! D& Y2 [# D7 Wand stuck zippers.
) E& ?0 R1 @4 o/ U$ hMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 7 n! g+ X, t5 U
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, z# r1 F, D! j2 `% p* pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* i% d2 s$ O0 j, w( i$ dMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, " A) e' [ d6 W& J' Z' I- [" M' c
an embarrassment the next. 9 v) T; Q7 D& [9 p3 \
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a , B/ ?( D/ Q! v7 y
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 ~# @$ ?7 r/ F" {- FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ! d$ T# i& V" ]- T
Must assume final, complete accountability for {7 g+ _. `1 n- V4 X9 u' a
the quality of the end product. 5 R9 H& S" f p( O+ Q
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 0 y9 g+ I6 L3 G s2 |/ L* y" n
janitorial work throughout the facility. . V+ _0 g: ]7 g
/ Z; B. R% [+ S3 @/ nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:5 @8 Q$ y9 O1 v6 ?) G f$ |* V
None. & e, D5 d: v7 H& ]4 O
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 D& B' D! ?& `( |% Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
& q- M7 E9 b3 C+ L0 }2 Y+ |( }$ Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge & u) u) V! w9 B: t
can ultimately surpass you.
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' H$ h$ r% Y0 j, uPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 L! e3 c) y7 ]! X8 N. n1 }" i yNone required, unfortunately.
% o* J/ ~* t) o3 TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. # {: B# X+ }! t& F A. w0 X
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: + _& B: E$ c8 N- t! o7 L, ?4 V4 D
Get this! You pay them!
" L4 F8 E1 Z& g0 m% gOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ I1 V h' U# l( Q" h1 qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# J2 M: c; ? j& nof the assumption that college will help them ' t( x5 q3 D8 P" i2 i2 h& ^$ m7 `
become financially independent. ; O6 ^4 K/ F1 q
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* H2 W/ ?. w: H' B- |0 p& `% tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ( M/ w8 c; s P. h7 U7 G
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: ) V& t/ I* S1 m6 `# W0 L$ b, c8 k. Q
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( F, [& Q" ~$ q$ mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" u, E8 w; L ?8 B# T/ O# ]no stock options are offered,( c& C- i8 B! f$ `; W' H3 `$ _
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 3 @' f& @# U: \$ K" H* h
. c8 o; S( c2 p2 \3 _ N# c* afor life if you play your cards right.2 L* t# E# Z( W' q& \& i
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* o7 m; m5 Z9 z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **4 _9 i/ u+ u( V0 P! u( P
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* ~5 t7 F2 u( E( GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, % O1 x( y1 ^, @& a
letting them know they are appreciated . v" c$ O! K+ |, C6 t
for the fabulous job they do... 2 S, } p6 k" ?# t
or forward with love & J9 B+ {) R3 t6 h
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.3 j! V7 z0 S( r+ O- g" F
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
