Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 d9 q% ]* l; ]+ f+ u7 iMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 C+ _9 r+ S7 I9 R/ ODad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 q" e1 B' C6 v/ d2 ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,

% y7 T9 B1 O6 C, j' C0 Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 s$ @' t) K, v4 ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 z. [$ @* {9 O6 D4 D, R7 v! X; Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 Q1 K- G" b7 S3 R1 c( Q" a, x# j" ~: Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! N3 e+ J0 q+ A+ A, [5 HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ q- f3 \5 N7 T& Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
* [# B/ V& X0 ]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" q- {" [3 c( X6 Juntil someone needs $5.
" [9 D2 j! x5 X# }! w' a# B% z( |+ x! NMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 x3 O6 N+ F9 p+ H% I0 m2 Iin case, this time, the screams from
& L8 x' I: o6 C' Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& [7 f# }# y$ g/ X7 Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 I2 d9 F( l, A% i- ^9 sand stuck zippers.
6 |( g( v4 `- C0 h) ?& E, YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
6 \, D0 w8 r* W" M1 XMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  Z( V. P: v3 u1 F4 K* O$ \$ r4 r. CMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
1 \: q* g5 \2 H4 c7 B3 AResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- O% H, i3 s- Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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7 d: ~  B1 f: J- iPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 I5 r% x0 T# A0 O6 ~5 qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- J" K* o7 T, Scan ultimately surpass you.

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* h1 U( @5 \) n- \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% }+ l8 }  \# b/ CNone required, unfortunately.
, E1 _% k- M5 xOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 T/ r1 x9 R2 `WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ ~9 O8 Q. T; G# }, J# A0 ?9 eGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( d) o6 y8 g( m8 v' H+ ~of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: K' y' b! j6 QWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ _% ?4 A2 F# b: Tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 f9 p2 b% D/ Y( ]BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% u  p+ ^7 g. n6 h0 B" M3 _no stock options are offered,
8 e& R+ ^+ H2 [7 Y- D6 athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* R, }# R- [, {( j& punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 Q1 o. }$ ?# H: N% p/ o  U% dfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



7 a$ \$ x9 H: p* Q; u0 uForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.