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4 w8 l9 |& ]6 A$ F' k6 F2 z8 CMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 b1 V' D* I" `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:- k6 ?- k6 o6 s1 N2 V: Y, u' i
Long term, team players needed for challenging,% l/ ]+ h8 \0 Q7 I- a" q
% v! |# z$ O9 f4 Q* l' epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" F: N% z" q9 R4 Y! L# s7 a* i4 BCandidates must possess excellent communication 8 j( v4 w5 @9 U, g
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ A" N) S9 p" wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, ?9 M5 z- R$ Y: Y0 Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- J7 T& n1 v$ s1 ]6 W# K1 jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
: Z" `& x2 C- B$ Q. kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 j: v8 P, E3 Zendless sports tournaments in far away cities! ( T$ f0 L9 m7 z0 y& k+ ]" [
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
$ A/ @ g$ v1 O* uExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:, Y/ S) `: _8 g M& e- s$ D4 P- `
The rest of your life.
% R9 V% W/ i' P' Z1 j# ]9 [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, $ L* h ^6 O& ], @( G5 R: I k
until someone needs $5. }2 j- }/ n0 i0 D5 j% _
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ) k9 I5 g: l) N1 t: g! {! l) v
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ l$ N- U& S( b3 Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 6 i' u; z2 l' b9 p! m+ m
in case, this time, the screams from & r3 t+ q. X6 B q) J- e& c/ g
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 1 K. ]' i1 h7 z4 _1 t) Q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ( a7 A7 W* s2 w- R4 Z S7 i9 [
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 D5 ?' `4 L% a( land stuck zippers. 8 K* `' B- B) I6 E- v2 Y! {+ G1 n+ M
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and $ E3 f4 k$ |! z8 W( _" h+ M: l
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& m0 U& q) `* B+ k7 s' PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 6 g# d' } P1 P; Z2 |7 C) J6 y* f6 v
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, * m* Q+ N5 U( C, A8 R, C
an embarrassment the next.
" E9 q% i( R2 AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a % D& m+ q! _. I1 C/ ?! d
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ) N# H# [ r9 k. ]1 `. s
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 _" I. \/ X" l' \0 c; v; T" U) vMust assume final, complete accountability for * t* J) h! t- C$ G) D
the quality of the end product. : Z% S1 j% E6 r% @% X. c+ |+ m
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ F4 F W1 |$ k) w) A) y; pjanitorial work throughout the facility. 7 Z o' a7 V0 V. X- V( A4 v7 s7 E
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:7 q# a" H+ @' r+ S
None. - K% A7 _3 Z5 R% C
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, % R! k1 \! N1 v' l" a
without complaining,constantly retraining and ; m4 [' x3 C, U' r" C/ n* f' Y4 o
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 l h2 h; m5 I& r0 J* [' X2 K# L9 @can ultimately surpass you.- b4 E& Z( r+ H" K+ r1 A
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) Z& D" C' I- H. Y5 C$ k
None required, unfortunately.
. D$ y3 D/ S7 I9 ]On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. , a$ j e5 J" l
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: $ B# N7 e4 m' b% V
Get this! You pay them!
' L2 T; ~- w( c9 d3 JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
! q( o4 p2 X9 g/ \% la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ q2 M2 u* k% ~7 qof the assumption that college will help them
1 S: ^* f4 [- nbecome financially independent.
7 o0 T5 \2 k* t9 x2 B+ |9 h8 eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. ) `: `6 ]% O% X, B# c. n$ u6 @
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ) y! g4 ~6 R% L6 z$ C- ?# ~
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 8 a) E/ u F; r" b. u1 G3 ~
3 I- i- W. h3 FBENEFITS: $ x) w# E I7 j
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 H% u7 o4 h0 W/ h% `2 Lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 3 \. B. }8 R" a- M; [
no stock options are offered,9 O2 t% i- a! A+ W: N$ ^+ _% P
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses n( G9 b" l5 i- x
9 U, ~: e1 u O8 D! Ofor life if you play your cards right.
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4 E+ Q% C5 ?- _6 u8 f) T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **6 u, @+ c% n8 s7 p& K/ w
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, s9 \. P$ e T3 J( w# {$ S2 M" m
letting them know they are appreciated
* V' T, ?9 Z' G7 K- q& e* Hfor the fabulous job they do... / i6 b$ n% k( i9 ]) x5 k
or forward with love / ^; ?6 a _( X- v4 @* z8 ]4 u$ ?
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
