Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 ^) ?1 p# r! J; j0 U5 {- N4 \$ UDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

: `: ]& d: T! ?; Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 z' ?9 I2 l+ B3 G0 s* Land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% s6 l' l7 ?. Q0 r3 v8 d8 KSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ X7 H- J' g& J4 \% }4 A& j0 ~primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( c* F4 P: w* u( s, U: M. B2 AExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
% N+ h( B1 Y# ?, |4 S: hThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 H: n# I& t; ?( W+ O$ ]in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* ]8 x5 D" e! Z9 ]1 M; [: _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- c- R" b+ H( `4 z, `5 |) e; pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: \- g: K& B" Y, R- xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- @# D! {- W6 c$ KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) P6 Y$ N: K# u) {& KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
! G" W+ p) B' v) {% j* z: ithe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! D2 S! c5 m/ i: z9 N; sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, @9 Y# g% j) L; M2 C+ V8 Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, Q6 c- c5 v6 h( Bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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& P: I% h" o! ]4 R( w  F/ IPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# P+ y# g9 U. M/ D& \& u+ WOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) N4 B% T$ ?! F: X. d5 \Get this! You pay them!
. \; X" K. h5 L5 a5 `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
" P& S- F9 n" abecome financially independent.
7 ^8 f0 s7 c, GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" m$ |" @8 {" Y8 X* p4 r( i4 PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
  G: C8 H8 F/ Q: \5 j  i; B# bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 m: Y5 R) p( L5 `6 c1 }8 v# ?2 [* pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 f+ s9 C3 x2 q' U! n4 A0 m6 Dno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! _4 J+ N9 h3 ?/ x( U5 P6 qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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1 G+ a& B* H9 y" F: I7 T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' ]7 O0 d) x3 j) nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
( r0 M1 q+ C  i: @( J7 X$ @9 e! Dfor the fabulous job they do...
6 y/ \0 ~  [, h0 g6 J( Qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.