Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) F7 n; G9 L- H7 `Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ F: C2 l8 l) T6 b* O; HJOB DESCRIPTION:
6 G5 J: z' d' X+ x9 B, `Long term, team players needed for challenging,

$ N4 K/ g$ P3 D% Y1 D, A- \/ r( Kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: d; U" Y- Z6 f' W' C" JCandidates must possess excellent communication
# V% a( d8 y! y! Y8 C0 l+ Wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) ~. a% N6 b7 R# N3 [' {( Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 |: }" B! L) ?  h) k% rSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: L% s2 a0 C6 T( g2 C/ @8 cTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 Q. j! l0 ~6 ?, J# [2 }Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 O) a% U! o) h. K$ K& j9 vuntil someone needs $5.
, c, U! N3 v, [4 w  `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ r9 y7 n+ Y( fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% [/ I& e0 r- o* K7 w. Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( ?  r$ W- O# k6 Q' ]7 Q0 xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 z/ |! Y% f4 W# VMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) i0 p* l- O2 f+ }- j1 Ran embarrassment the next.
, L; l8 ?, w  J' l6 m, AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; c+ B0 z2 F8 H: yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
, {8 Y0 A# n9 M* f& xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; a# i! z, A5 R6 [& r( ]! W% U( [Get this! You pay them!
( e+ D, e4 K, ~9 p" ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ d/ A4 v; p: [% Aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" ^' j" x3 |2 o! \. r. Xof the assumption that college will help them
2 r/ Y1 E! a- _$ G- R1 Vbecome financially independent.
) r& s! [2 m" e! O9 d1 ?8 x! A" NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. m- r2 Q+ ~7 i# |/ eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 {% Q, m7 j; c$ v9 V/ J. ^1 e+ xBENEFITS:
" f1 v) w7 }) l: Z  fWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( P+ v' r$ {. w0 w+ }3 n4 x$ }no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

( v4 u* a& F" t" A& |; Aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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  ^0 J: @' {# @" SForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- L. Q) b3 ]( oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.