Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 \& U& P  q! D6 ^6 tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ X, v+ L" H8 K6 v1 j1 R  b' v

' }+ u6 n# X. ^# T4 N5 j$ QJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 j& E8 l* a" f: Ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% z) ~8 X3 o, G' |/ _Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( U9 L6 R- _# D% C) oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 `% P3 r7 h7 p, M* A' f' d1 L. tExtensive courier duties also required.

6 \* p0 @+ y' a% j- L6 y8 K7 XRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
  N1 j: M, F( ~% X0 M7 YMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' l* z3 E5 Y/ a6 fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 h% C0 M  z7 l; v( l. nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 v! q  X! i! Y7 l, I6 `and stuck zippers.
+ k: D6 b/ G$ {+ }/ e, {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# U+ E& w2 r5 c2 B4 Bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, y! r: r+ z# qMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( b0 |- g6 \; }* W  H8 d) V1 a' U/ tMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ y6 C; N6 Q* H1 oMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 I& f$ U0 ?! P( p) Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 b/ S( L* f+ g3 A6 A( X( FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, K: p! z2 F% J2 VMust assume final, complete accountability for
2 p" ]& q3 k; O; J/ pthe quality of the end product.
5 i+ }( T) q: H' }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 g  y$ ^8 W% NNone.
5 w# R' n6 x) `Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) N" s$ v+ I, |8 e: I$ jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


- z7 l/ S- C1 D- O6 xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
: ]6 {: ?& U1 H, d, U3 S; sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- C( M& o9 |7 N0 C% xGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) v; G) M' H1 t7 wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ u$ r2 P3 K3 n" rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  L/ E8 C% }- J+ u8 j, uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 @3 T% j+ N7 l+ o/ ino stock options are offered,
- l3 Q2 d: h$ X9 d3 G; Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' i* F2 f" @, q# ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

* E& R* V, _# Q& \& [for life if you play your cards right.
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, M9 Y; }$ f! k6 {9 ]6 H6 @" _
% R' ^# w/ r( F& {" |  K* ^3 Z& N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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/ ?" J2 ?. Q8 F" WForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
; H% T; P+ C4 ]3 h. F7 V* `; gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.