Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! b# e! P+ c5 I% R5 ^7 Y- I* NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 }0 T+ @/ Q) n, B3 g, Q  BLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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" t( l$ o! ^  G" O0 R. A. W! G! M8 o5 dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 y1 z# G% @5 [4 @' I" L* VCandidates must possess excellent communication
8 \1 ~/ C9 Z; j  S6 ?- ^3 Zand organizational skills and be willing to work
& [3 d, l% m( k8 y  g( ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 S0 [7 }7 i/ z5 I3 J3 iThe rest of your life.
& M1 [7 M' y2 _: l4 E& C) a, K# TMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& ?0 V4 B2 o7 G! Funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' v" m& Y/ n6 X6 j1 F. d# W! f+ {and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 x) ]5 h$ h* B9 o8 [( H0 o. D; ]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 K( B7 t7 u! k3 a0 a0 t& Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ j" N6 {4 K+ c* r6 X( G$ s& o$ EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) d- {+ |( [+ R! T! S- Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% T: _9 X# H4 T" T# d5 p3 eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
8 j0 @* ?3 o3 N$ L& AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& {  ~& G1 k' m$ Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: O  H: P8 l4 w0 N, \4 _Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 J5 n$ `( l7 U4 Q. O+ F4 Pthe quality of the end product.
" q. D; {) O1 Z/ @- mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, q( b2 _9 n* Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

' @$ F0 B9 c" ]7 XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 T# g! u# K  G  YYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 E! z0 r. {$ a6 u! B0 g. d6 ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
; p" x5 }' X7 _: E9 [# U0 p5 gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- G- p/ Z  a! T$ _) t) i0 Z, KOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 {# o, R$ [  x0 v) v& Aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
/ v; p, h  g* d8 }" Hbecome financially independent.
$ u9 A% F3 `5 N6 VWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
' S; k  y; K6 O- Z& N  lThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
2 }1 x# A: F3 e3 P2 K1 g' c% vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 p2 ]: a! r% F3 [' _# T6 V) _) Ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 S8 u! U1 I3 t$ R+ ^" Z! O+ yno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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3 a; I9 T! p9 X+ K4 S: W** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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8 y$ X& c4 \2 X: A- G, ~# ^! KForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  Q/ D) r1 c, wletting them know they are appreciated
. X" o2 L$ [  ]2 Q0 a" x4 Wfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.