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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:- Y: t( O% J6 n+ x& ~
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma & t4 p1 s% a% ?! H* Z9 H0 q! M, w
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:/ I4 {& v0 D. ^$ w" ~
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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, v5 k, P" u9 A* m% l! Wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 9 ^3 s0 p3 {3 Q/ D. \( D
Candidates must possess excellent communication " d4 t2 O1 H3 t) g8 Y, @
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ |' g/ `- ?) v  H' Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends - t$ O) B: I& C0 p* ?- E
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 \, M/ k1 S$ }0 dSome overnight travel required, including trips to : \* Y' x9 s0 P6 D! Q$ b  F
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and # f2 E8 j& r8 ^' x
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! - m6 G2 r1 C) v, O
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 X4 C8 c' u: aExtensive courier duties also required.
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+ {4 w! j& o. {0 B* X1 BRESPONSIBILITIES:  [5 e* o, |1 w; {
The rest of your life.
0 j8 A6 [0 p! fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 9 G4 J+ n& J8 v" v8 W5 y3 l
until someone needs $5.
: z  ?. f# v' t3 o& q/ n; M7 bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ u7 d2 A. c  H. f, |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule - u/ T1 }8 N* `. y- _
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  K' N. W0 h5 q  `: q: Uin case, this time, the screams from 5 m+ h; ]+ A) V0 T# L
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. / Z9 d# T# o, M; n
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' Y3 o  D3 @, D8 S6 l7 p
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# D, t' `7 X* H) Dand stuck zippers.
* u: M0 z8 D# X- @' n/ ]9 H- y5 V9 WMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 2 D% V1 ]& f0 |" [( {3 O
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 1 Z3 a# r# }3 \7 _! K6 O2 R0 K0 v# i
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 t& o  }0 ]) @2 v) [3 R. aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 n# F# D4 o4 M8 t5 x) b0 h0 k# E* W! gan embarrassment the next. 1 ]0 n  d2 Z( p6 b9 U( U
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a - l; ~' b( y# ?, H
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ' z5 i1 R9 \+ Q9 g# V: x$ S$ c
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) O" r' t' ?1 r$ p6 g9 \; X0 Q" Z$ hMust assume final, complete accountability for , `& K) i0 z+ u7 n
the quality of the end product. 1 N- ^/ k; C2 z# w4 i+ ^5 e
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: c* [, }% \9 Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility. % s1 P8 W4 t4 P4 p

8 e: v  B7 X1 F" @# w+ w7 b$ gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ v+ u% g$ i% y8 O  T3 a* LNone.
. Z7 g5 ~( g1 K9 f* a; C: g0 h9 XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ a7 q: X5 V$ h5 bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 1 w( ^, [) v" m! X$ j; Z( s
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 7 d* Z+ _% O* ^) n2 l" G8 A
can ultimately surpass you." U! V: w" F8 e% \5 M6 \
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: & _, n% N9 d" u
None required, unfortunately. % w& e. y  b# N' J- l" q6 `
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. + C& d7 k8 B5 b1 o1 \1 }* N' F

6 U% z6 Z! }" W) P) H  RWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( W& m0 A; p- g* RGet this! You pay them!
, ?# s+ ^5 a9 b. IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.   J8 P/ I3 {* {4 W2 e, [/ C( j
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: N+ Q( K5 J) q  Jof the assumption that college will help them
8 B1 ]! O$ |5 m1 pbecome financially independent.
" j. `3 s5 n. H% P. j; \! V' C; ?When you die, you give them whatever is left. ( N- V: O1 E* G% ~7 D
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 ]0 o( U( r: F' _5 zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 0 M/ V# \3 R7 z' u$ c7 ]6 f

9 D8 B, m2 \1 O* }BENEFITS: ) i* P& \; b1 W
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 `0 I, H0 x) `7 U) d# b% ?* w$ Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 0 O$ D/ m& R- [* L& j
no stock options are offered," v# S/ \' z3 ~1 J
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, # L9 Q/ Z! E2 u" \2 f" [
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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, e3 T5 e  h. t6 O+ A9 a6 m4 Z! xfor life if you play your cards right.
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% Y! R" d. t6 p6 w0 i! \7 I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, * Q' H5 c9 N# a  N8 M7 B6 I) q
letting them know they are appreciated
) O8 I2 B9 T- ]" h0 Z7 ofor the fabulous job they do... 0 {9 [4 U/ _' D$ g
or forward with love
$ p  C" s3 \8 l+ q- M4 b) O3 h. n- Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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