Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ y; o$ ~5 i/ N& f0 h, VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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- _2 J4 ?; U+ Z* {* z, Z$ NJOB DESCRIPTION:
$ u. }1 W6 l. _# t' [( RLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  A! R+ D) ^$ j* G# h" M1 `Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
( S* [- U9 e0 \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 L5 J! L9 m8 yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, J* S/ s( N6 C# Z- Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. h: M4 x' j  v7 q# R' @0 q% iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. n  ~. V* G4 y  M8 {$ NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& t' e/ U  F( J! [$ _  yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 m- n. t2 i; O8 Vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 u% q2 S9 l& i% k3 Uand stuck zippers.
: _) ?5 C9 U1 g: j# gMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 E. L. r7 a0 Z* e: u4 hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  c3 B8 }8 y) @8 k5 hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' B$ f2 U% p) B3 RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 U5 ]) C/ a: |) `! fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 J  K& m9 }! m. ^4 i, a! o9 F0 oNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 I7 z; u' X' C/ W7 S6 T+ Y1 y. B! gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ v6 F+ {4 m5 ^% R; f8 Mcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 b) O+ Z1 }9 v4 u6 P9 a4 z, R0 N9 oNone required, unfortunately.
  {. r6 c9 c. A7 XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ v0 h: B6 s  h+ sGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ P4 y( `1 n$ [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# f8 q# S2 T; Tof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* B) A8 f6 O. U* ?" }" CThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: W* U$ J6 o: E/ x: BBENEFITS:
2 t3 o2 y! \* K3 Q" r- VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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4 e; |. P" u2 q3 c5 K" junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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2 X/ R6 a& j; |- o4 ufor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" V- d' S( }1 H' iletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
  t/ n" J3 |! k4 r/ U, a2 q; |to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.