Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 p, F' v5 @2 V+ D% K, uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. N3 O) }0 Q9 p1 E' u: n# l; O1 yJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ ^/ u9 m0 @8 c0 F% F' L7 |Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 g$ E. b' N2 ]$ Y( C0 _6 F( |( Z: qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ L; J- E0 _. r" Y# ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 ]% ]# b/ k1 R) S4 ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( W7 [5 B4 x4 k3 j: C5 oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 j! ?" T, N. F5 b' |! o& _2 q. jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  \# {; K* s, W. u4 Y- L7 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 N. h3 m7 \9 c6 e0 X7 {% c/ RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: Z1 h1 `. \# v: u2 q0 X1 @Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 O9 T+ T/ h$ q( {& N1 u: ^in case, this time, the screams from
3 ?. d+ ?; I6 @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* u; W7 q9 a3 A* o* tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* G) d" D" D2 u! wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% _% U5 \+ S0 O2 phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 d+ \2 ?/ M. L! H  d: MMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 z7 Z; B* T3 _% n3 I9 C* iMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

# ?+ k7 ^: z9 V9 F( D* X/ B: j/ jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! x& C( ~2 w+ l( w: r4 ^# U8 I, t4 r( mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# A; e5 v. a% s8 ?5 Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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: e8 ]0 K9 R) cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 Z+ K3 @) [+ o# T4 J8 @" UNone required, unfortunately.
% n, Y5 o! u( g$ P( }* HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- H7 r$ v, j- R+ ~3 K6 I' ^$ [8 kof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ C8 Y! d% H% a6 X$ i6 t# K  JBENEFITS:
0 a, J% h3 W" H( o: q( H/ h# x1 s" XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 W" ~" y# G' ]/ v' Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: g5 P4 ]& V. e) A6 ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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8 c2 J9 B+ y) ], y+ v+ t. X6 lfor life if you play your cards right.

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  `* A6 G+ R% Q% {4 L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 B7 d7 i2 p( Z5 I) b" r1 Y: G! {& eletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( E$ @' i2 i. }( _or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.