Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) T/ u0 z* ^; i  \Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
* \- Y4 a7 J! M( N0 c- R# v0 sLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" x: Z) E$ k( X2 uCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. {4 c9 z& `- R& I# lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 a# T+ F6 Q0 f1 FTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
& H/ l6 @, I  S. e  ~6 Y& n# a
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 I" \  c& s, {- uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 s- K/ l. ?  M/ w4 GAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, H8 r1 H5 y: w, nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 b3 C, A% G9 e5 othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ r8 W: r: I+ n& Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! V! c" r0 c5 N6 ]" r! N8 san embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 P( m: x9 ^% C" l" |% b4 KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 C! @( N  ^; j9 ^; q: QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( p8 C, E  ]* {7 S3 BNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  S3 l& t7 g. G0 Y% X9 \" n  Qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
, Q) W2 w+ e8 a5 Bcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 F# Y$ |; N- p7 nGet this! You pay them!
, F! \/ L9 _' r' q& J# k9 nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: f8 T, M% i# z  ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
9 v: M( G- i% y0 d& y) bof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
- Y5 G( E5 R4 N2 b  e7 yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 P% k7 E4 `* B8 GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 m7 B- b! x0 C3 \( {BENEFITS:
* i; t# \4 `* M( y" M& g3 gWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 o+ l- D# A3 M4 V0 F! `, j2 Zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ e$ H6 x- u1 D1 Tno stock options are offered,
. }+ _. n+ O# g: \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

/ J% {8 u6 ?- V  P! `8 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ B3 ]0 ?6 \* K  m* M* E8 w
& J+ j" W; \* J3 nfor life if you play your cards right.
$ Y- _+ a# d  n
! v% Q1 ~- R, h& ]5 Y3 S
* I# N5 r$ q' ^$ o

7 Y" p! b; x4 g; @, o. h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
' ?0 a! ]* q! X! [

7 `) n% t5 ^* ]0 b$ Y5 x1 Z+ H" C
/ a* R# _, Y9 j; W, }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  V. W9 ?$ p+ r- G# Aor forward with love
6 F/ d. s! a; e6 Z3 Y, o" i& Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.