 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma & z( `% f, B( \7 f0 R) m3 |4 h
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! w' \$ z% n) P2 L, vJOB DESCRIPTION:
. n# ^: C: Y' z) t) JLong term, team players needed for challenging,) q; q6 q+ k4 @" P: S
% `7 c& w# r$ G( p, k) xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, J' a* B% ?# P* M8 nCandidates must possess excellent communication
1 _6 N/ u4 {6 T/ o* B; L o" L6 p& oand organizational skills and be willing to work $ y3 c0 U, m( \$ a
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 9 j H1 F9 u7 Z R
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. , _: W) n) l7 i
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) i/ P, A- W3 N5 r6 |8 Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ K+ @5 o" v9 |endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, ^8 S9 w( y: @ D2 u0 A! mTravel expenses not reimbursed.
% |$ `8 |4 D) I# U# v8 FExtensive courier duties also required.
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N" z9 C& v9 G/ _RESPONSIBILITIES:5 r* ^. \' D7 t8 I9 y3 z. G L6 y
The rest of your life. ' n; Z0 Z7 k" G5 `; j
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ Z/ b' T# q6 c- o0 [( W& K* _3 c, Kuntil someone needs $5.
7 V; O8 G* N/ b9 lMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 4 u2 q% r0 F; o0 f- @
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# P: Q7 ^4 S; o( Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! I% A. {4 Y$ F4 X) o( @in case, this time, the screams from
7 k, |& d$ L3 l! ?. Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" n& X# W V) h, \- A+ D. j) BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 0 t! g n* z0 }! z) g, k7 j$ ]
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( v9 o& L% r; a. i/ D c" tand stuck zippers.
- {) J! H+ Z" Y6 {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ! I" R" r$ Y9 ]- j; o* a: q
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! j& G0 e3 F1 M$ R8 X( ?Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 1 p. N9 j: [7 @- }
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( v- O N9 M9 ?8 D1 R$ e A
an embarrassment the next.
2 X2 b+ R' {3 V' V" xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a 3 m* E- h+ z. S( e6 j* j1 [
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. , _+ ^0 v' V1 N- D- i' }+ X
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 5 e0 B! @5 |4 ?; o) e% @7 t
Must assume final, complete accountability for , u* ^& h- U' G* W& f8 N
the quality of the end product. 5 w+ T y9 Y$ D6 a! X; j2 _: v1 B
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and # ]; ?! M; y% r) f4 m( f/ g: D$ ]
janitorial work throughout the facility. 0 ^7 n+ W' ] j P n
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:! { }, [% p. i' S# B! c0 K
None.
9 q8 F/ L( P1 u7 f- bYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 7 u5 L( Z7 p: o0 m" ]. H
without complaining,constantly retraining and ' }1 @ s u& \+ ]3 M
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" _( U0 @+ J- X, Zcan ultimately surpass you.& r# x4 k6 l/ ]: P
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" @; G' d u7 CNone required, unfortunately. ( t9 p. X# C1 Z3 @2 J0 I
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ' T4 X( Q6 T8 v c, D
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 J5 t: U5 l: `# c; l* a+ {Get this! You pay them! - \* X. q% w: D; W6 c
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 x8 p8 f! w/ B6 T7 [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 2 `' n' W+ G. U4 p3 e/ z/ y
of the assumption that college will help them ) n2 v' Y, |2 [+ p5 i3 i6 f
become financially independent. 5 M! g2 E# [ f
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 5 ?2 N# A( a5 S; ?
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that $ R' ^6 x5 R+ y. r) w1 h/ K
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. % a! R1 z: U4 P; L: U5 E
" `: ~5 L" M2 q( KBENEFITS: $ u9 @% _9 Q$ p9 h
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 ^. ^# e' Q$ D( Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ( y# p* H. C: K/ N4 X o! h# ?# _7 A8 W
no stock options are offered,
5 N2 p2 G6 W$ Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, " R8 {" w x, L$ X0 v5 i
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.7 r8 V1 d' E. }$ q2 n9 C
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **# h6 Q( \: F8 t, |! D$ {8 K1 X
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 9 B: s" @+ `2 v7 r$ @! O" P ~" c
letting them know they are appreciated ! u/ U3 x* T# k# Q6 Q" T
for the fabulous job they do...
& G! G. F9 ?: r; y6 t. Ror forward with love 6 ^1 \& k# M S( B& D
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.( k5 |( n* G2 D
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
