Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' E$ F/ m" r3 R# w0 O3 uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
, L" ~/ Y- ^0 c# a+ VLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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! \' Q1 R0 K0 rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
# i% p! P# ~' O, z2 b8 iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& r2 j. S9 c4 Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; V1 @' J% d  cTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 [" M& |( X3 i& N2 iExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 D) g5 a, {4 G6 Q: @2 _3 P* @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- l( X) g6 V" y3 w2 i( |) auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ }, c9 X6 T2 {Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, E* ]* z) \. N7 \0 @4 Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. w  \; z% d' A* }) Tin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 T* i6 L6 z- c) H6 k/ }; Q1 p- Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ O" z4 s! H  P$ N% PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ g6 ~& v9 I4 H. b6 O7 h! SMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ t2 O$ A5 V7 {; H0 BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: u9 Z, `# c" l. mMust assume final, complete accountability for
& w# g/ A! D+ Q4 w- e( t" Q& z8 gthe quality of the end product.
8 w7 ]( R$ N+ \; {  q. tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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- [3 W' H2 ]3 l/ T6 WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 a# l$ h$ |6 RYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: i; \, I. R; G' j' r% \0 q# ~+ fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' x5 T2 q! ^9 ]9 n( j/ n" Y) Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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2 I/ d; y8 k* R' h( U' _: PPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" K7 B0 F( X) |3 J& G$ n; c6 K. MNone required, unfortunately.
) q. Y7 u! t+ v& AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- O! Y$ e4 y! s$ Ibecome financially independent.
+ x& S2 S9 ~: y& t: T& v: _When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; V5 J. N9 C0 ]1 a4 k5 \) w7 P5 p+ eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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( ^/ }- |1 @- S3 T  V+ {6 O/ q# o( d: bBENEFITS:
' b: c& z  ?2 \% g' a( @" vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

/ h8 U$ V. {' g  _# g  {2 W! w  funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; B0 K$ Z- K1 c' r5 u
for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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: ?& l1 x0 g, ^, @6 U) B8 }2 [' \
' X9 L  f" [2 L5 @% iForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* {! e- M2 o, j+ k& v/ y! fletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
" G/ `$ z2 n8 B6 eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.