Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ H8 `& O# T( n' `5 L8 x1 Y2 U1 t6 lJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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  [; ?% d  N4 W' ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 x! |# y7 B$ m6 PCandidates must possess excellent communication
# Q: j$ {/ l; @and organizational skills and be willing to work
' C& H- j6 m6 K8 Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& c8 \  g  w% l$ u7 K4 @1 W# yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ K; L0 Z- }# J6 Y/ x1 P2 Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 M  ~; T5 b. OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 @: E1 u( e0 f$ b( [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, t  \/ N* N# _) o# uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 V9 h  G2 e/ \* ^9 B, [' S. k  T0 MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. I; _/ j" c3 X4 _3 x! I  q/ Xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 J' x4 \+ z/ R( Z, n) RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- F$ @% m, U+ A# Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  A( R! J4 z9 l5 f6 p/ OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. R7 o5 z" Q1 @  k% y2 M) l* m' T; J( [; OMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ _: K! K, t' C  |5 r# a' Oan embarrassment the next.
* G  x- k9 v4 J2 ~3 zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 p9 e1 v/ ]! H2 q) o$ M- K, B7 Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, |2 ^7 Z0 d  ?1 r1 b; Bthe quality of the end product.
5 i- I) I+ {% Z0 xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

' ?- H. ]  V# n5 GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! I$ K; p" Z) Q# k# BNone.
, Y6 T- U0 Z: N) ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. Z/ [7 i7 q/ n  _7 S9 i! Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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5 g2 S( c' J4 U* ]9 W! {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# U  w5 i4 e4 P" MNone required, unfortunately.
7 j+ K& y) A0 C' o/ DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- |+ s* Y, y; c5 kWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% V$ ]8 M9 b1 u" F0 Z( o& wGet this! You pay them!
( N+ k! Q1 Z- |) [6 w  O% ^4 yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 w9 d& R' [* ^. h. ]- Ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ I; I3 k9 O2 dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 l6 b- h* {" H  }When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' m9 ]5 o: C$ vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 n: a: J. i$ `6 `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- X% u# X, X1 VBENEFITS:
' z5 k8 Z+ }. ?4 kWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 U! J' H1 i. \& {no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- M' p: E/ B% R2 |7 @" N% G5 S" Ono stock options are offered,
8 L3 k$ }4 X1 S) K4 ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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1 X) `4 l$ z+ z+ w. r/ Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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1 r: e" d6 L3 h3 M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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1 c( t& T$ w6 z( \1 U/ ?2 ~0 zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 D5 c* V% _5 vletting them know they are appreciated
3 ~+ D: {) ^1 l! G3 H& ]for the fabulous job they do...
$ X0 Q7 j$ g2 U1 ^; K# q7 cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.