 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma . t. ^% M* d5 {8 P" ]1 u
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
. E# _( ~5 j: [2 lLong term, team players needed for challenging,/ b; A/ v$ m: p$ K% Q7 q9 w" n6 W
) Z: V$ S4 K9 Y/ r4 ]4 Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& F6 e; A# ?, v8 p9 h# Z2 ~; uCandidates must possess excellent communication 9 f( y* U4 g' A( X# N: m3 r
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 W' h# h% {( }: S7 \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- F8 u2 P. `1 G1 _" Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 2 t1 F3 V+ h) u$ z# F
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 V6 i; E) k% e1 z% E0 Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 0 R+ X9 C$ p2 {
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! ; m% r0 C6 t" v
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
) ^( {4 u8 p" _) rExtensive courier duties also required. 4 B- [5 q4 S) p4 K$ a4 }) v- r
9 {/ u/ G2 N2 R4 R" F6 q V! z2 X; J& MRESPONSIBILITIES:
& Y# t, k$ e5 O, G2 j- i" g! \" u! IThe rest of your life. 5 R; n7 ]/ T% S" U
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
O+ r$ |# M! f) |until someone needs $5. + _' r& D; Y+ l! L
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" n R U" d- @6 O- P' r% r! KAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 6 U3 S) w* L9 J
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" {0 w2 v! L p, F, G* T5 J0 ~6 V7 Iin case, this time, the screams from
2 N6 a: P# D/ t+ S1 bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 l! a1 l Q$ VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( A2 K; d) f4 @8 S: }. Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 J) d' }/ T, k! f% I
and stuck zippers. 4 Z. ]; k0 ~2 V# k$ m" d0 k
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and / B- d! x* G* G3 d- p
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 j3 z, m2 J% K& h0 i* cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; t( Q8 v B8 h) \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 0 L& P, U, t. V# A4 T% r$ t- I( |
an embarrassment the next.
3 C7 U; q9 J0 U% cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a , X- D: i# @9 _6 o* B& |8 B& @5 Q
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
n' |6 N& Z( J' c! sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; ~( e4 s: t8 V' Z" eMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 W* F5 L8 ?' N8 r' d. ythe quality of the end product. A a6 g! K' y& l
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 6 k' C" \* r) v/ G
janitorial work throughout the facility. : [7 O5 n8 C$ I: ^; @) G1 b1 L
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years, # l A5 s+ `5 J; X: [% m: O
without complaining,constantly retraining and
p) \6 b( c$ ]# X2 k. Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 u* k& \! Y5 Y* Ccan ultimately surpass you.) W1 k7 f' n& ]1 q
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ! C! P9 M9 d k' I$ L' S
None required, unfortunately.
( G( U. \: k# oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ) B2 v% x0 r; k5 \6 \
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: % B0 w ~1 T2 g2 o0 i
Get this! You pay them!
* e4 {# h: w# L3 `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! d2 [9 T$ n, F6 h+ Xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) l; l5 F3 i, H+ oof the assumption that college will help them * H) p$ L( b# [$ L- I. K
become financially independent. 7 i# {2 p, G0 Z5 i& F' D
When you die, you give them whatever is left. & y# V- u5 |) G; k
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
G' _% t* ?0 S# W) a3 U0 Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 3 u' z7 r( |! ?3 l3 I2 c; l
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BENEFITS:
7 d- Q% H8 S' [- \3 w& _* K$ e" v0 ]While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 1 P3 ~0 Q0 S8 V7 f
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 w/ }2 Y: F3 U7 [" vno stock options are offered,4 j/ c/ _3 `2 M( \
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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8 }( ^7 T6 \: ]" a$ Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.: E& |+ U4 n: z6 T: H) Q; c6 E
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; c, u# D; j' _9 q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **! T7 ^2 I7 O# g) V6 u+ r! F5 t
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 3 P/ @3 M3 q4 w% C1 k3 Q
letting them know they are appreciated
& b7 ]6 z9 a% i- z: Q; g( Zfor the fabulous job they do...
2 s: q* w# a" f4 ]1 kor forward with love * V# w( }) ]7 c' v
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.- G! Y7 N# Y# F; O- S
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
