Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) x: B6 ?5 o6 YJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 C5 t) T% z' RLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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* U0 `8 o, `  a0 ~7 rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 J; X8 p) `# L% }" X3 zCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 J& a) x- E, F4 r/ r( v) Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 C, o8 f! [2 B. zSome overnight travel required, including trips to
; b6 e; b! u9 g  yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 e) t; }1 N& m. Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ D$ x' Q1 u* D2 Q2 G0 vThe rest of your life.
4 U; M1 R0 ^2 c3 _+ v, d3 aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 _- \" U- z% Tuntil someone needs $5.
5 Q3 }4 i6 d% y: z' y/ eMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 ?/ o$ S3 a; B- D8 F& Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- h  N) A+ E# s0 Jin case, this time, the screams from
# h2 G5 p3 P. |/ A8 `# athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! @" d# Y6 l% C9 ?* ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 L7 k& ^( J3 V& E  p8 l/ _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; N" ^2 I- ~" c3 V2 NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 g. b9 E$ B5 Ian embarrassment the next.
" H( T$ w) l4 s! ^7 c. r" }Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% V# q1 G  p' v: ]" I# e# g# [Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ e2 R' A2 u3 B% W; l' O: bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 V4 w# N) h5 z- J9 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  ~/ M: N1 w+ s# E4 yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 f/ L% e" k3 h& q$ b0 u' awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# z& [% D! t* `7 q  m' |& yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 \7 s) E% y0 j8 k! ~$ w$ H9 ~None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 D9 I6 M3 l% l. e0 I2 `3 l3 MGet this! You pay them!
5 {" `! n! N  m$ {9 u$ c- SOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; q6 A3 ]& _1 `3 I4 M' t% |* Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( s, l3 x/ G6 T" r( xof the assumption that college will help them
2 Y; H2 l1 M; f7 i8 l( ]become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ C5 t. Z: C' F- R! S, n$ s8 O7 OThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; r6 f- m  `+ Q* p0 J# ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 I) I  Z0 k. q, P: e/ fBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ ?2 h( Q2 L1 J0 G: W# f' M- ]no stock options are offered,
$ ~# A4 |/ I$ Z. P4 N2 V& V9 Uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ @6 Z4 R. c# W0 funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) E( l" X5 r. Y5 dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 ]8 A% X( q1 [2 {" F$ Rletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.