Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ L' B1 `" h$ O3 C2 P9 GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
2 o) N% E, l# d7 k

8 S# ^0 m/ i: Y# P0 g* iJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 }. P" @' Q* XLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; N0 t# k# O( [7 {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; \& \' J# ~8 L0 S# Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
# I( J  Q6 P. H
* c4 t4 I6 y& R9 VRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ \4 l4 p  v/ ~" m' c0 U; tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
( }7 K# P8 Y' z- D* KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
. v9 ~8 |- u2 p) ~' ~/ k$ ]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ T& C  r2 }# }: h" y1 lMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ r/ l- Z1 {( L) Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 u' @% ~% w& k$ @8 Y3 ]1 {6 }: Scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ K* f; E1 ?) MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ o0 @) ~+ |9 l5 w: e) j; C1 HMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 K9 d' V; t, f. @0 F! yMust assume final, complete accountability for
3 u& J! ~7 V4 @  g+ dthe quality of the end product.
6 b7 E* K9 z& H- [" |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 A; m! ?2 s6 r" V, Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
3 ^3 {1 d( d  `* l5 P0 |& J; y
) C) Y' i- p1 C3 \POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# Z' ^3 g% U: N" t* w$ J) Y; ?! lNone.
' ?1 M) ~4 l3 ?0 }4 L: WYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 j0 B8 e7 O: X& k+ [) D+ v& \can ultimately surpass you.

# _4 y0 i0 ^. r, Z: l: J, E5 }, R
# h5 _% U6 v- Q4 B$ U2 v  q6 F5 BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  I* `" a- Y1 C2 ROn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
( v! m1 F+ G. X# y9 R  v( X0 F
; J. O8 l( K- \: a' _# n. IWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
( V- A% y0 J& C! JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; m2 g5 S" d" G( Pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. [# M6 D& u5 }. g: IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( K8 V2 e$ T/ X* Kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
; u- H0 m% S7 `6 g* }8 O
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
# }$ m" {# p; M% s- W
$ O$ V1 l8 F& O# {/ lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


$ D1 f( Y- ~2 h- R( h" J

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


2 V5 }7 k- u$ ]$ P" h
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& D! ~; c+ ?" J4 _0 _  D4 ]letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 E8 d; V3 u6 K) rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
& ^, ?9 R" r3 \; F1 {; g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.