Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ \0 a5 _% H. Q3 B- t6 `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 d' e1 c; F7 Z# i4 x  c) f, O- M) QJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! x" }. B( |: f2 rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 A- z7 c4 w. r* sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: c% j4 A: P( S* l8 o. V$ ]- Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
" f( }) Y4 m+ E6 i. sThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ O/ s6 e8 w* ~5 q; E& Vuntil someone needs $5.
* t. W8 k- t; \/ B/ E2 \: IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" R% f6 D/ h9 |& I( ~# k! Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ v& e+ r. @0 g& l/ A! M2 BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! U% i: |  o/ @3 }5 c& NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% E3 e1 n1 s2 s: g; m& UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ P6 q5 W2 f/ L5 ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 I: ^' R% ?/ }# I# [- O+ D! }the quality of the end product.
- ^6 l2 d9 \5 r2 o& fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 t9 o9 j5 ]  L. x% Y$ Zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& D$ M7 o; }4 H$ L  g! j6 L" |4 [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% x! A' ~, P% C3 @  l. |& jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 ?7 ]' R& @1 J7 O, d; W9 d, ~9 eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


) B/ i& c  j1 w6 @PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
; x4 ?4 e  h! q& cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 p+ y; v' w+ Y& B- u4 ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 d  q$ g$ M" y, L/ r0 Vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 ~! ~+ B7 t8 E! O# G  Qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
' W6 f0 B- f" Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 F4 K  I: H5 P$ r0 v0 ]
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 e9 O; x- y. R0 g. p4 e% L: y
for life if you play your cards right.

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+ C" b3 g; v; M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ i0 P. g9 T' k, |7 S! ~letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 Z) s. G- q# g- T$ F0 Oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.