Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# \. F; I7 i5 {% ?7 D1 c/ IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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7 ~% H) u! k0 G* eJOB DESCRIPTION:
* ~- K8 L+ k2 M, }Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- m3 L; W. O% I9 J( I3 M7 ACandidates must possess excellent communication
' C' m9 V' d) c9 Sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  j8 K7 L% \) P2 L: K( yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% H( F' g; q/ _# Q$ Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 b8 X) D( ~  \; t$ |/ f/ G$ ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 Z! Q  T# C5 Zin case, this time, the screams from
: ]6 P1 n+ `- T5 lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% s2 b7 l+ i& g. ^% V3 V! E# S0 NMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! l. I8 {: v( p. J5 U& i8 Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
% H) Z8 o+ e7 k- _" a$ C( |" vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. X1 _: N. o- Q3 XMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 c/ R5 B8 K- qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. ^& {+ f7 g$ L; U  ^$ dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( t9 w) S5 q7 YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) r: n3 L: j9 K/ P+ q2 G* a& ^7 `" Zthe quality of the end product.
, s& L( [$ A: _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* l" V1 x8 V0 g$ ]# Z) ONone.
- }4 w! i; [: @8 d+ M/ KYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' d. t* ^' w$ t# @9 b9 Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- @1 A, L: _) R) H# scan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 S6 }  F9 c& }) X5 iNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& |6 g. P) Q# W% L) v5 D8 J$ AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. O9 o- Z& O) nGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! j4 P; }/ M* u# ~. [; P# tof the assumption that college will help them
5 D0 T& K- c6 N! v7 Q4 l0 |become financially independent.
& G5 ~) z. g! h1 pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
+ a, q5 M  B; x% |5 P, HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. Q: b3 o% g  p1 f% b6 }* gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
# o) P8 |1 ^1 T( |+ O. Uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% N. C1 r  O, t# ~: s8 A! ~% w" p
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) I- k+ [$ L* p. q+ Dfor life if you play your cards right.
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3 j" C, S+ j" ~% @1 T* \# I+ ?0 v
/ a$ a* W2 C7 H+ o% a** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
5 ~0 G7 C) y* S2 A; V( o* Y

  N. E* S) o7 E6 c7 ^! q; A+ }
: U3 d4 f6 e5 ]' r: c) HForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
& C, u( S9 J: N' U! V' ]! Nfor the fabulous job they do...
( l1 W( x6 B; `% ?+ V% H3 dor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.