Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 J9 r7 h# b& j6 mCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 B3 d) p: O4 B( P7 H% sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& O# T) U; |2 b7 ^Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: P3 q9 H& u6 q( \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  l6 M9 F9 L& T9 W4 A0 DExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 T/ l* R0 f# S$ EThe rest of your life.
; E" b9 q+ T# E2 }) ?- ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 G" g8 U/ i3 v  @5 l& zuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ V! i1 y5 Y6 ]. {in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 w/ y2 n; A$ j1 ]" Q! MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 _! F) _- i' I, Q4 {# b2 m. B; asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% D' o8 Q! j. f- z% k* bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 \, p9 j0 ^0 v% hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% c) V  d2 y4 J1 Q  _+ j# m! O5 W8 wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 [# O3 `: }7 z7 Y3 X" r- e) tMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 m- C. F; i5 s; f$ S' NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* a. k4 e, t, W; o7 I( F; v8 Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ L% i  ?+ M  f3 t' XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ A. ~0 [2 {8 \1 U2 }without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 w# g7 [: \# U, F% J1 |: Ican ultimately surpass you.


1 N2 Y2 d! C' ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, D0 X8 p  l& ^! A9 L/ sGet this! You pay them!
5 |# U& _. ?6 F" z! F+ {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 K/ v' j* y. I- ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ e' X+ s  e$ C$ N$ L4 ?% aThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' T  f) U3 k, y+ |1 V% syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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7 [  M$ r8 O3 a/ J$ N0 Y, TBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  c( R5 ^6 u& _7 Lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: t4 _1 P; I' M+ e. C, c+ Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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8 Y0 [8 m4 o; h  f' s/ rfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
4 g! U3 X! T9 s9 @* P4 F0 P2 {' lfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! R) v3 T; b7 O5 P- v% X! s* }$ X3 Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.