Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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& ?1 {4 T: P+ p/ s9 V6 x/ u1 EJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ E6 q  }1 P2 Y2 G7 F) t( ELong term, team players needed for challenging,
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5 x& J6 m% W0 M9 i5 A/ Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* s$ O/ f0 P; ?4 p+ p! dCandidates must possess excellent communication
. l( y( Z/ e% F5 j  ^: [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ y" z# `* s: q$ NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 h/ ~& }" E- i; u* O% bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* Q" T. C# P3 z5 L0 vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
4 ?. Z/ v* u2 U) K9 L  IExtensive courier duties also required.

' `9 w* |" ?0 GRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 W$ O- T- L1 O. t6 funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, X5 \# D# _% \' b& X- EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  _/ ]! g& u1 B/ C& band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
% A" Y* T* m8 z# c( qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( N- Q: G2 I' _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ Q  X! ~: i" D+ f- jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% S' {9 ?2 s2 `7 H8 Q# F( {5 e' Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 B( W2 O# @6 T! F; |( @Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 u; l# Z0 J) U7 dMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% V) ^4 V7 Q4 F; c0 _Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: U$ X) W+ I8 [" N# R- GMust assume final, complete accountability for
' x- Q* |9 y: P: P0 B/ ^the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# j" B8 I" H, U& d6 W  p2 ~janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% I: K! {/ q) `! Y  ?+ O  kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 @# {4 C: u  xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 ^3 l$ x4 h6 G4 P* A8 W  D! w: Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( X, W2 j+ P/ P; W+ ?2 Mcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% z' }5 r+ D( w6 DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  ?% \) V" `) e/ e7 ^$ OGet this! You pay them!
' v2 [+ P  B6 K  c  ^4 D( E8 n; ~Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ ]7 |, M( \0 ]8 @7 ^3 Y0 g& e! ]5 [of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 Y4 E& A0 y9 n4 L5 KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

+ Y) ]3 P5 V8 n3 a6 FBENEFITS:
( k& ^, G" q, zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ y' a) I+ t9 T  V/ Z, O1 o: Qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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# w9 n' z9 u* U5 b' X* r6 r7 M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ d+ a) K& S3 O  i7 ]: {Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* m, [" A! _4 ?$ `! U, Kletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ e" [2 u7 u& r" K/ fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.