Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 j: K/ o6 _' l; F) KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! a6 t) }- U9 ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
* a- K3 M' T7 @0 v, o; dLong term, team players needed for challenging,
# c. C* |1 A; `- p9 ?# Z
- O3 v7 X' L7 i* j2 T1 i% I6 Qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; t: I" }% }: L, @6 d4 C/ yand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 P* C( N2 L% ]. ~' o5 DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
! q% ?! }/ n- Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; K6 s* n) l& U5 YExtensive courier duties also required.
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7 E+ U; V9 C8 dRESPONSIBILITIES:
2 m5 h$ |) P9 N- W: L7 TThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. D8 S6 G5 `2 ~! c5 x& `$ {Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% v3 t2 H* W% N- Y- b) Din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 E* p7 D0 h; P4 B5 o9 m; }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ }" v. F  ~1 O0 I) l: A0 ]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. y  D# h% k) i2 gMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. r( a0 o( m" \  M9 P& PMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ u3 j9 k( M) `, m9 Q7 f6 Fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

3 ?5 g2 }/ F2 m: l! zPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
/ v% f' ?6 h' K! |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 ]9 }$ H" K# o1 D8 i. Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 V  G& j. ^$ wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' `6 z# p) U  K" r, j3 W( uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
' U* o+ A6 U! e  p7 \& m# {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
+ t1 i$ P2 j( P& _+ ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 ~6 Z1 h! x6 p6 Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 Z4 p8 C3 v& I
4 @5 s/ |- T4 l7 i# @7 cBENEFITS:
7 s5 B! f3 m% E9 x7 n2 m0 pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" p5 I; A& |+ G4 i! gno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' E1 v3 w: n3 v5 F( s
% q. s: T+ T( Munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( _5 }: G3 ^) q  C# B) J+ \
for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
* r) f3 ?8 s* A5 J* s* {( b; \/ g1 Tfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
8 _# U: ^- _1 v- G) ^1 Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.