Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
( T0 `( M% v* d2 m; n2 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
, y, O; V5 u* xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; i9 S( y: ^' V- `2 k0 z9 C! T0 YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
  I9 t- M8 W' f' dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ K5 K0 u- F  i5 rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 \7 }3 R8 L2 K7 Z/ r* kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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# R$ p2 p# w1 a* FRESPONSIBILITIES:
: E6 u8 q9 }% o; M! EThe rest of your life.
6 K) p4 F0 m3 R8 z7 e- xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 B4 U5 `4 t& m. Vuntil someone needs $5.
. a, S* a1 t1 aMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  j+ T& p1 d8 o% MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 g  x0 W' y5 S9 ^# @' ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 M* Z5 E; T9 u0 Z9 Vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 C% m0 \; d7 R! M% c9 U, ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ [0 u: A# c! X4 b8 @5 V! @$ ~and stuck zippers.
( m# T* z: j6 b, B$ A0 cMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 P$ k( b, }9 A* j; D. ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 }( i5 D; k. K6 V4 lMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, @! s' Y2 n3 f3 Jan embarrassment the next.
/ {4 {* B( D4 ~3 @' W2 g- A4 T/ @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- e& J& }! \" d  G/ Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 Z" p$ r# O$ h: ]: |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# Q: n( N: M- {/ s5 K% |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 U1 I! W4 ]6 G+ s. D6 [4 x, ^janitorial work  throughout the facility.

# G1 V  L: U- x# `+ d3 fPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) X2 z+ @) N# pNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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3 I4 z9 Z- y9 x9 {# ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 e) b% x' x* p# F. n" _; rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 [. _7 J6 g& f) E' j( O1 ~- u$ Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ {  i) k( G7 q1 u2 a5 D2 wof the assumption that college will help them
  \6 P& M+ X( S9 H- B7 T5 Y# Ubecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! r6 ^5 C% {2 w1 AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. [& X1 o: y% T* t9 [- Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
1 \0 Y$ _, ]7 f+ B2 {( pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 d  I. o/ T, v8 q6 `  m: p( wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 b  [( m( m+ p+ J5 Eno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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' g7 G) f3 l% n! Z% Z# W% e( qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
/ |. i2 I+ f8 ?for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
- p/ Q3 w8 X, _to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.