Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 I" f  w2 {) F6 K: E/ {JOB DESCRIPTION:
/ G/ v2 |! X  ?$ f) B" gLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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. L  A. P! \. ^. Q* A0 D9 ?0 Npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; _8 p! C: V. {) Q, Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! z( B% ?4 G' F0 S  USome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 X+ F# v, `9 [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& R- k! M0 u$ d: D/ Cuntil someone needs $5.
1 [4 D7 A* q. T6 t7 v0 Y7 p5 v, w0 pMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: U! V& `4 b+ `5 FAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, r4 a, o2 `0 m* z8 l6 E- gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ _( S5 Q9 t* b2 Q6 Jin case, this time, the screams from
2 E2 }) {7 ]2 c5 othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 B# G$ e9 f5 S& yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
2 c- g5 k+ t3 u3 _. wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ q; D# R* t4 C5 IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 u; z* V( |7 ^/ i; @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- b: z7 E  w  e  Q* E$ AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 j  o' e" n2 ~# ~+ nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, T8 g: U: t4 i6 Pthe quality of the end product.
" T/ v, `+ b) |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& `5 Q8 w: L' W2 }/ `- TNone.
8 ^8 ^0 d+ ]9 e7 g/ o- p1 f( OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ A  d% p9 P( z+ [" P1 A2 ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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3 O; Z3 L# s- `2 \$ L5 `: Y/ xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 {& [  V" P/ v, M& }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) I/ X( l5 x! @a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 X9 z7 f! s6 ?9 d7 r; {* F& k+ @, Q- jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 m' ?, y  E' C/ J+ k6 TThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 a( Y) n% U$ q' [$ A9 {' vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ F% T+ o# B1 y* y: E! uBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 [; S4 l- ]1 G& L  mno stock options are offered,
$ E1 Q; D( W% g8 j  O  u$ o  j8 U2 rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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- N# B7 L& X; b" U& @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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2 p+ C5 j* V8 l6 R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 O* s, @. x  ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.