Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 e' j/ }# c$ x8 b0 }Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ e$ g) u, E8 u, iLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) F% V" E) L* h: L3 UCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ l. D( A: Y1 T$ k/ svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. [  F; [3 @* W* h6 n0 P) V' \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 i1 q; M* f: {- j9 E5 _' }7 M# @; fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ N; N/ M4 V7 jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( C2 H, |6 |! h+ |# A# ?% o4 RExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
% C5 n; l$ `# gThe rest of your life.
$ n! F5 H6 y* f3 s  xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* W9 V. x. \5 N6 kuntil someone needs $5.
7 c0 P9 \) r& j/ z5 DMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 G' S- ]9 b1 P, o( g8 }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 d" q3 m; d# v& x9 z7 Y  D  Gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 X1 t- v4 x7 |& Wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 P; R, s$ Q( l' m' N, P; s7 `Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; T& T, l: |! e1 l. T5 a0 j: J3 \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 r7 G1 Q& e1 g2 ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  x) f9 A) [, Lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
  H4 _2 H2 d1 I- uthe quality of the end product.
- ^1 d5 Z9 b  i8 N" D7 H. EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ ]' N+ V% B) |' Q7 R9 Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 {: A) Q2 ]4 H+ t+ d  C' u6 v& zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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5 P8 q& x5 D+ D, XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
7 a+ k& j  A% f, u+ G2 fbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, b, e; ~" D" z" lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* x5 D% t1 T  p8 X( ^) v5 z" E2 Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

8 x9 U' [3 K' qfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 o+ D0 [0 i& {6 M7 QForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) A* U/ d) ~3 d5 Eor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.