Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 J& y, O) v, v- EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
3 ~2 T8 e% R. @: g; e0 S

# X  l" u. n( X1 m5 F2 Z9 KJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 ~! C# r- J  g* K6 V& WLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- I9 Z1 n2 Y2 o1 x+ Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
- X1 l- y  L/ ?( ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& {' G5 q4 }8 [7 G- Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! F: B. b4 T& I. R* M" m3 ~  P' l; Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( b% {9 B) \5 @" X! aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* m: L9 ]- I% n% _" @6 uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# b/ G% {* I9 S; D/ l) i7 D8 I  ^: ~in case, this time, the screams from
7 Q7 Q9 }: h; b/ H" q& Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" }5 [% I. G. d+ ]4 X5 y+ O: ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 S' n/ F# H7 T* @/ G0 o& Oand stuck zippers.
1 H1 \4 e4 {5 X$ TMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. |$ P( A9 i- o1 P$ D" n2 Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 X  k- Z$ G" {6 F( s+ pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ f8 i3 X1 V. z+ ?Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ a$ f1 b" w- l7 U' nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: q' ^2 F4 {: r4 b- _Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
- `( C& o5 ?2 U9 g+ I, G2 uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
3 T6 n3 ?3 n. z5 O* d% _- ?7 w
6 v0 x4 e/ ]$ b1 W& [. J+ W" @/ MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 E  B3 A: W3 x# pNone.
' v; c% o& f9 v6 _: |/ VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 O4 G/ e  [- Z) A* B2 ?can ultimately surpass you.
2 J8 A# u" ^  f- d* w; B- @; ]

  z$ t2 c# N$ f" u$ U6 XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
3 R2 p9 ?  j8 N- _' a! U( QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. V5 h+ F+ C. d4 [! F) Y, B/ pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ x# v& O; d; k' JGet this! You pay them!
1 v. }& H9 l1 m- V' I+ VOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
. j5 t+ m6 _7 G$ Q  C! I' ebecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 j6 t) ~9 D8 V  CThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
, t/ e0 \# T- n, v. Q
BENEFITS:
5 n' i1 W- V6 ^& jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* A- E' S2 I' w3 e8 hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' u, g5 D: A1 Q) Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

/ b/ c6 S$ {/ \4 b1 }unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 h6 }. ?" Y) X3 \5 Pfor life if you play your cards right.

( {9 @9 M/ Z. F, y1 ]

. Q' }: d+ ~7 `! W  U6 J
- f( }8 k6 u( ]; P9 N4 x, O8 k6 A: {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


. F3 {& X( O# h1 u
' f* Q2 ~  U; ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 b! x' `; K+ o7 A- m% n( n% X- b" Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 N9 b  b9 Q2 p8 ^5 @& a
) X, X2 S9 k6 ^, O& M7 `

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.