Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* E; {1 A! @9 q  ^+ X, ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
3 C* L7 Y) ^+ U
' i  D- u, y4 C1 I& B' z* opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 S9 Q! n, r- q) ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; N. l8 p; `8 {! h6 o8 }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, [' s( G& R6 Z, V% |; QMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" [  ]  ^  ?/ u' ~. F# `) ?& xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( w  E' `6 {4 pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 c$ {6 L' e1 x* V3 Z7 Y( csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& e2 s: }& J( v3 W# z2 I* hand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; ~. \1 D3 F* F, T& m* Zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( k6 }9 w& G2 y0 YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  t+ v  B4 X/ u5 i2 ban embarrassment the next.
* B9 r1 |3 A  K; W; D. s# EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# {5 ^3 L5 \: j) ~3 t: U- ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' n7 l9 k" |1 H/ l. Z5 A# F5 ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ y) g9 m) v+ V4 z/ w) kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 x( @7 r# ~* w! [  n; q' o8 o7 }$ BNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 h# q- J8 l. \% U, ]8 Z8 ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. |4 x+ Q1 E. ~# O9 R' w6 ncan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ c. ?/ t+ U3 m1 OOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; R7 h3 \6 ^. mGet this! You pay them!
& a, [" E$ ~. J9 I  g& w5 e9 FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: P! K2 @. N: U7 S7 fBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 _, \0 F  x7 Q* o: r) Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; B9 N$ G$ O; V+ p$ Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 M9 U* M+ a2 ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
4 N0 c$ P* K$ }
for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& v, L: J- t# b- vletting them know they are appreciated
: z4 c% h5 c2 a6 F' |for the fabulous job they do...
- }2 {5 v0 |4 b- Q( D. O  L# Ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.