Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! k% C7 s$ r: r+ Z" qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 Y0 ^- _2 R0 x0 P7 I! S2 }% v/ ?4 c# sDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 X5 o" r1 Y( [5 eLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- h. O$ ?* h) BCandidates must possess excellent communication
0 U) k* U& T$ G" z/ ~7 q! [and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ ?3 Q  `- S4 K0 w( t( h7 n* G$ Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. X8 `+ K2 C3 ?0 w8 o. zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ N0 f! n1 L4 d: Q0 R( w( RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" y& y% M3 A$ Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: Z4 P5 b8 l8 J) a. @. o$ S, nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! g5 F& M3 @6 [: a/ bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 |& e: K( R4 s6 OMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 M) l; J+ |; R( K' R' y* a. Y& hMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 \4 i# e' |0 L0 v, f5 AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( _2 h8 h: c4 M8 B5 B8 rthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 Y; w4 C0 }$ a# Y  u1 o( f' bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

: ~: C4 o% z: V3 J: RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ m' X& e3 b0 U# Q, d& ^7 }* VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ K8 ]& V2 h9 k- t: K6 d7 D2 \without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 ^  \8 w8 H4 h- z7 d- s" a! Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) u6 ?& _' H9 W, Y9 S# gcan ultimately surpass you.

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7 O1 Y5 {! O! v5 [6 SPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' X; S' u1 l' L% p! S1 {* YOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

! z+ U! C8 g, U, Q0 P# d4 {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, d6 w4 `9 Y9 @# ]8 ~Get this! You pay them!
. ~8 }' O; `  zOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 h3 N6 S# ?- S2 n+ ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 n* B9 z; A! Q* |  X) [/ k' kof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; x6 o- s9 X7 @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ G1 k7 u+ B( S, e* L. s* o6 ?BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. L$ s4 ?' h) l" p) A+ h" Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: q# x) z; p- b3 [7 @1 Z, E* M6 q, Xno stock options are offered,
  m2 ^! F( O8 Z8 J) hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 k; @/ w( o! Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 X" K2 a- u, T+ n; _$ `& ofor life if you play your cards right.

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7 t6 @; M- v9 Q) |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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8 |$ M: ~3 Q; ^( B7 _+ YForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ K/ w' S( J0 Y* ?$ R  Y! \/ i' yfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- ^$ l' x0 A6 |3 V+ j5 ]
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.