 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 4 N |' t5 n2 f7 s9 O
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa! I/ C& f8 b* O' _# f
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' v0 k. z$ ]* o2 w9 }% BJOB DESCRIPTION:, r+ D5 E: ?0 w7 `" |( Y
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# ~0 l; L5 s& K# [& f7 {
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ ]! I! G2 l& R" h6 K$ ^& @, ]; fCandidates must possess excellent communication , B9 }2 W2 E3 ?7 w8 O/ {" c+ S$ M
and organizational skills and be willing to work
y# e; M7 U8 i; @* ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 o: p A( ^9 i0 e: L1 s, q+ Y8 band frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 5 m- L% H/ P7 S# R+ c/ w
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 3 _( [5 [1 b- h! Z
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ) B. }" d8 H9 Z1 b" E( q
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 9 e: X8 b& j: n: z7 _
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 3 a. `4 S- H! k
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:5 V6 g$ X- o/ U
The rest of your life.
& e2 M0 o' |1 k7 oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# j! Y5 ~: o4 u5 Euntil someone needs $5. + i& t: U2 L& ~5 z4 F, G% G
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. : g8 K8 h# a2 i* g
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ) `1 e( I& o! j- C/ I+ B( M
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 c' Z B# O4 c2 lin case, this time, the screams from 3 U* k! @6 [6 U0 X A
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. # k- ^+ W. ?5 o% f% W/ e2 R; ~
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
Y( _& T$ Q/ c( n. Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) d1 z; K3 g! B& ^and stuck zippers. ' _5 ]" X: D! Q4 _$ M7 v
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 1 v4 p; a+ m0 S) k! z0 a, ?2 F. Y
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6 ?5 n( X, g# C
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 4 _( |- ~4 B+ q
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. [. ~ ]3 C# F* a r" Tan embarrassment the next.
- [, i# }: h3 z9 y7 U9 I' J7 j& x8 `Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a r- X/ g0 p% w! Q7 H/ |' Q% J4 y
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 [, L3 h; O: w2 b U% R4 VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 T+ R8 } o I9 E3 O; _/ R3 L( jMust assume final, complete accountability for
' l- j6 F$ X( q2 v Y/ F$ Q4 V0 }0 Rthe quality of the end product.
$ g* W( j, X% I* u$ iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: L. z/ p2 Z- |7 sjanitorial work throughout the facility. : W8 K3 a1 T$ A% q" k6 G: F
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& w3 R, s" e6 R- E2 r& T# ~+ ?" @None. 2 B. w1 q, p L# n. u# \. ^
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 6 [5 C2 [9 k* g( B. d
without complaining,constantly retraining and 5 H* a' q$ V+ c! D6 |) Z
updating your skills, so that those in your charge : r( r2 g$ E' B8 Q% u
can ultimately surpass you.! ~: e Z: C2 F- w- w" }
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) m1 D9 H" _, M% k, CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: + H8 v3 f: \- F7 R
None required, unfortunately. 1 c; z) s4 j9 p' \1 m# I
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 y" G6 B) h% D" x9 Y! d4 q1 _WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. N# R3 L1 W1 P1 RGet this! You pay them! . h; h, s0 K- `
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 9 c. e6 F" ?1 H. J) i1 b0 o
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& X6 m$ V5 d r$ k, o2 V8 Iof the assumption that college will help them
4 ?4 P+ ?+ C$ mbecome financially independent. 2 q$ y* L4 }# N% Q' G: d+ n7 a
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 4 @- _- `( z# \6 C- P
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 `5 v" ~2 E" j e/ I# Zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: ' y1 L! U8 y1 r5 i6 r
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, % W. r d4 i* G
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
g: o- S/ o4 W+ W5 t5 ?# x' v' X4 x; n) ]no stock options are offered,
, C' s$ g2 q8 x( P0 xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 5 Y4 k; F) {2 I7 Y% }
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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, K5 v& l! t7 ]( U, vfor life if you play your cards right.
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6 o3 z+ d" e* s. H) A; \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **- e5 S. V( ~8 \# W
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, / K1 g5 Q" t6 n* @- k
letting them know they are appreciated ; d9 q) y7 P4 l. ~8 H
for the fabulous job they do... , F L' L! w! R+ A7 R h
or forward with love
; g) t" J( L) ^5 }) z. f0 Kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
