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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
! k% C7 s$ r: r+ Z" qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 Y0 ^- _2 R0 x0 P7 I! S2 }% v/ ?4 c# sDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
  B% a% C4 `: a! @9 \# X

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 X5 o" r1 Y( [5 eLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- h. O$ ?* h) BCandidates must possess excellent communication
0 U) k* U& T$ G" z/ ~7 q! [and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ ?3 Q  `- S4 K0 w( t( h7 n* G$ Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. X8 `+ K2 C3 ?0 w8 o. zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ N0 f! n1 L4 d: Q0 R( w( RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" y& y% M3 A$ Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 6 \2 x3 K- O6 T1 l/ ^; B
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: Z4 P5 b8 l8 J) a. @. o$ S, nTravel expenses not reimbursed. 4 f% L$ b1 p, t' Z
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:) n4 B- R9 ]- ?' g' F
The rest of your life. * M7 b$ ?6 Y4 }8 e, ?% U2 j+ F& A
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, : j% n+ O3 x3 J; \. C
until someone needs $5. 7 ?; e  _! S  l- i, m' Y! D/ E" Z
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! g5 F& M3 @6 [: a/ bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule * U+ `& t+ Y$ U
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ; s# U% `+ S. t6 c0 x+ v. X
in case, this time, the screams from : P5 K+ D7 p3 n- B" f+ F4 X
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 |& e: K( R4 s6 OMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' e$ q" ]7 ~% Q( }; c2 p) H0 \
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 4 i& |' z6 W4 q" [
and stuck zippers. 1 M7 r* w2 L0 _' b9 y2 w8 _
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and . C5 b$ E- W( e" [* d3 s
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 M) l; J+ |; R( K' R' y* a. Y& hMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. " ?6 k9 f, _! l/ c9 [; V
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 6 z6 F/ Q. |  Y2 d( v, t) T
an embarrassment the next. 9 t) H. `. Y+ D+ w8 ^1 }$ Z( @1 b
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a $ e" }; M, @1 b+ ~5 G: V- U: }
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 \4 i# e' |0 L0 v, f5 AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.   O7 C3 Y3 I3 O* f' j  z
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( _2 h8 h: c4 M8 B5 B8 rthe quality of the end product. 8 A4 K- G6 m" e$ ~2 H8 R/ `# B- M
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 Y; w4 C0 }$ a# Y  u1 o( f' bjanitorial work  throughout the facility. - C" v; O; V! o+ y2 X9 m0 F4 c

: ~: C4 o% z: V3 J: RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:# ~: P! J2 w: W' w
None.
+ m' X& e3 b0 U# Q, d& ^7 }* VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ K8 ]& V2 h9 k- t: K6 d7 D2 \without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 ^  \8 w8 H4 h- z7 d- s" a! Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) u6 ?& _' H9 W, Y9 S# gcan ultimately surpass you.4 ~* O  o$ L) Q

$ [1 o' G9 R2 k. `
7 O1 Y5 {! O! v5 [6 SPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) D1 F0 W9 [9 S, h
None required, unfortunately.
' X; S' u1 l' L% p! S1 {* YOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.   v! P, U6 s) O* M/ }% i6 v

! z+ U! C8 g, U, Q0 P# d4 {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, d6 w4 `9 Y9 @# ]8 ~Get this! You pay them!
. ~8 }' O; `  zOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 h3 N6 S# ?- S2 n+ ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 n* B9 z; A! Q* |  X) [/ k' kof the assumption that college will help them 8 |  W# U# n( v) q6 V
become financially independent. * v& V6 @  [/ O' m) t
When you die, you give them whatever is left. . G9 V, Q% S  t* y) }  s' O
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; x6 o- s9 X7 @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ G1 k7 u+ B( S, e* L. s* o6 ?BENEFITS:   a0 K# o/ r) q  T2 D3 H$ n
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. L$ s4 ?' h) l" p) A+ h" Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: q# x) z; p- b3 [7 @1 Z, E* M6 q, Xno stock options are offered,
  m2 ^! F( O8 Z8 J) hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % E" r5 \# d' [2 f! l1 m; i. R

6 k; @/ w( o! Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 X" K2 a- u, T+ n; _$ `& ofor life if you play your cards right.* r3 d4 L+ Y$ \3 w' w$ n9 h

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7 t6 @; M- v9 Q) |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **# G1 u$ k* E/ B% Y$ Z0 n) O

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8 |$ M: ~3 Q; ^( B7 _+ YForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, . a, C  G5 F  N
letting them know they are appreciated
$ K/ w' S( J0 Y* ?$ R  Y! \/ i' yfor the fabulous job they do... ) O8 ?6 H; E2 J  G0 t
or forward with love ( y0 o9 `) l6 H, J1 s9 l
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- ^$ l' x0 A6 |3 V+ j5 ]
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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