Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
; L) K3 c4 P8 K1 F# {+ xLong term, team players needed for challenging,
" S6 H. c! K) K* |+ X( `( |1 J
0 H0 X! A  r2 G  h9 D6 {3 A% Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% o( T3 D7 W9 f! U* Z/ iand organizational skills and be willing to work
. J; a$ x) R# ^9 y2 Q! G8 Cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) b& D( x$ A" cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) z# z3 \6 K- G" G4 kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& k, Q8 x% P# p# A% Q( o# M, Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' M: B; m& h) `5 z' [Extensive courier duties also required.
  I, C2 X. v+ F
: k4 `0 Q! f7 F: F1 d2 P+ k" g& wRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
; D& b/ ]1 P$ iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( F6 z- D: C9 ]5 f6 c4 D1 CAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  e! o% s, D  `- j5 U& J5 Q! S6 gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% |8 k- @9 @9 x" A6 G0 i2 w! E! l$ [in case, this time, the screams from
1 G  j/ {& c/ Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, ]  |* }6 y. Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; o% F1 d2 J: Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) q) f8 T6 b2 r% b/ d# `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* s# ~& W- y2 H  b6 d& u, [an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' y# m  y* Y6 v; }( Shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, C) D& c! R3 s- x, g, Ithe quality of the end product.
8 {5 |: P0 c2 G7 X7 M, H) |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' M6 U. X, p: D' ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* w8 R8 Q! R1 F& F0 oNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( d& m! I% l3 fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ A% p& z9 |" [4 B, {& g/ c; s5 uNone required, unfortunately.
3 V/ y7 ]% R& N4 o& N0 _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
: a# p! ?* a1 L9 U6 O
7 T) B# M/ F, u0 cWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% P/ c" z; v; d: v5 XGet this! You pay them!
% D3 D7 `+ Q9 i1 \6 MOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- y- c3 F, V, O) sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 e* O8 M( D/ R% hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 M  z; N# `. H0 PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ C3 ^, L/ s$ x! \5 _. S
9 i/ }) S4 X% r3 ?* g3 vBENEFITS:
) g, g+ Z. J0 XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 P: [! q- P; \4 s4 cno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- O( ]4 q! k8 Q; M9 \
5 p9 k3 i. v7 U4 U) G( @* aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 O5 [2 R4 ]( ?
, K& s# q8 d1 p  c, @4 `for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 D; ]" B/ O" ~3 d( C0 lletting them know they are appreciated
' s; X; G( y2 E/ t# D, `8 dfor the fabulous job they do...
5 w( u) B, T9 H( [" }; a" Nor forward with love
- J1 I; v/ ]* U& E: @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

! ~- v- f, {6 \

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.