 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 9 M$ S/ c. b" K" e; N
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa$ d- q7 A) E% \; {- C- ?+ I$ h+ D
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+ S8 @/ p8 P9 {' q. sJOB DESCRIPTION:' i6 A$ F' s* R# g
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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q: { O# U& z* g1 {( _permanent work in an often chaotic environment. ! ]4 G; ^0 Z& K& z. n( ]
Candidates must possess excellent communication : }! z2 `2 ~- y2 v* O
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 _) V: D& B& W2 `1 u5 i: wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 I- T* [( J8 T# t! Q9 Y* ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; s: N! Z7 |& A2 R5 @- z2 Z6 {4 HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) } r: \6 N+ k; c2 k; n3 {( v! yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ) }) P8 S* r; p: Q
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 0 M3 [1 G* [6 U9 Z& @
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- S7 E( F$ Y% H' p" xExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ F4 ~. e# c) u* y$ i8 OThe rest of your life.
. C d/ F( v# f SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# A; {! k. }1 [3 k: r+ h/ ]until someone needs $5.
! z/ @# U+ U) i+ s; tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% ^7 L/ S3 ~) h- c/ ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ) A/ G) I! R: h' |
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ s! k U6 p; o4 M2 T. g8 I; V9 win case, this time, the screams from , W5 P0 r/ s1 j1 m0 m4 n
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. % u ?) ?. I6 K& p; h/ P
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ; G$ i2 L' D& P( O. n
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 V$ ^& E2 j1 `8 B" Tand stuck zippers.
$ e" W6 g2 `$ n U/ pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. k y q2 W8 Z" f0 m, wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 q: G" l& O4 A- ?" Q$ WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 [% h$ ~* P5 C3 C; o" zMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, & P0 p/ U# K+ e
an embarrassment the next.
) Q+ j- H7 P; q" B" i! x+ yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! q! P. [7 b& [: w p3 I) a9 n4 K1 shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; T/ z$ K+ S" n9 _6 \4 }
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 2 w0 d: ^/ ?$ l" T- ^5 y. L
Must assume final, complete accountability for ! D7 a9 E6 ?; U k% L8 @4 R
the quality of the end product. 2 z1 q& d& e4 }( {
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ a. C7 O* s2 F9 e0 Djanitorial work throughout the facility. # X$ U# `$ W" C& X: E
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* W/ X" a2 d6 C( j& L/ S) ]" L, zNone.
7 u# Y; Z( M5 ^Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ y0 `; R/ p; Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and / S: w' n2 w+ T: ]# [
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 2 a6 K% f: H: H9 Q& P$ [/ Q
can ultimately surpass you.
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; c3 Q ^2 l6 bPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ! `& T% \' A& ~3 e) D
None required, unfortunately. ) k2 \# }6 U, C- g$ J. q+ S1 ^
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, S4 d: _* F% W4 _WAGES AND COMPENSATION: % h: B3 F) X {9 O, t" f
Get this! You pay them!
, A) Q2 l; i3 m8 V% G* UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) O- V5 ]9 K/ Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 |: e: W2 W; l: b& V( S' uof the assumption that college will help them
- O: L+ P/ `3 @4 c: L1 e& u2 Vbecome financially independent.
7 m5 g. O! q( JWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: V: f) U; s# b3 LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. c! L) \/ M' J/ n' }8 Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. : Y/ O3 H9 U# B- g
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BENEFITS: m7 u2 ]/ g; U
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, + @, x0 c) h8 G' T
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and " q- W8 b, W0 \% e6 P ?1 W) Z% F
no stock options are offered,, T# u, @; l/ w: u
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 W m- o; x1 S- E, T+ D* m$ L
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **) Y' |9 F6 s4 K
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0 |, `1 p$ ^% h9 W% VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, . J) j/ {6 Y, z8 N
letting them know they are appreciated
6 N9 d# A9 u; ?& yfor the fabulous job they do...
/ l2 k( k/ d% M2 X- c! Vor forward with love
7 v( n& l5 G6 a6 g9 i0 \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
