埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2822|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
. e4 J% D8 z' A$ y3 x$ l( UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' m  A! q5 F' _1 v) @/ g. ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
' [. x- \% I- H1 P1 e( G) u, F3 s
$ W( S7 @  G1 |- q: n1 d/ F

( x' y9 Y+ a1 g" EJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 n3 J& P7 a2 e+ zLong term, team players needed for challenging,! t' p# d* s+ {' d- Q

$ h. `4 L3 }; |' V" Z( ^permanent work in an often chaotic environment. - M- i& \7 u' f- F" V
Candidates must possess excellent communication * K# V0 C1 r: J0 U
and organizational skills and be willing to work
, B5 \4 h+ g2 n7 z) R/ V: Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 7 R: s$ t4 v2 N% ^+ z$ T; J8 s
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. : e  u+ t  [3 B9 M. V8 _9 u0 @1 `
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  |" E# Q$ [9 Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and + D* N- M/ S* ?2 D. B3 `
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! - @- d9 p/ D5 d# j% ]: _4 a* R
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* D& p6 i. t# a: pExtensive courier duties also required.
1 ~9 F" j( n2 }- q* @: u' S
7 F; s( e! _$ G  ]RESPONSIBILITIES:2 [3 E  R/ `% W( Q: P0 }4 y
The rest of your life. 5 L4 }3 U  N  N8 d( [6 J1 x
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, , C" s/ b$ y& ]
until someone needs $5. $ G2 o! I) H5 P$ \4 G
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 3 R$ I6 k9 `8 l& M" H! L( `7 G' ^
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule $ ~. T2 S# N! U$ M( X5 `; y0 ~
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ N- ~) m' Z6 p# N7 Xin case, this time, the screams from 8 p) ~5 ]7 I' O& D* ?( [
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" g" {5 f4 D+ Z& Y# BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 G/ U# Z9 f% P0 }  l: ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ I$ p1 R9 b7 m3 yand stuck zippers.
" V* N- Q% v4 _. rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 4 }+ g2 Q; U! E. M/ P$ I! v! I
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 G5 i0 F% h9 C/ E9 W) c; FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 S4 q. T' Y" i$ K+ B# Z) mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, % m2 K$ w+ w2 F6 D
an embarrassment the next.
* q1 c5 p2 }) p; a0 Q# a( zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 q  W! ?+ Y+ E. M( d7 hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" R/ Y) C. D3 ?3 [5 C0 J% O0 M6 n3 FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.   r3 |: B- C! W+ }
Must assume final, complete accountability for : @7 r2 g# X  G
the quality of the end product.
$ t+ Q  U1 b5 \" RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and , N& E% i4 H+ w7 H/ Y
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
8 j7 l, V% r: |. G6 u/ e0 L' t6 G$ `  Y- g
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 Z0 c2 W1 p8 N- W3 Q. G# J6 DNone.
- k# g0 F0 [9 y& q* `Your job is to remain in the same position for years, / d9 A8 f# K6 T  o- W: S
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( F9 C: d, n: f. [* W5 m; Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- `/ B8 A, d* N3 j! Ycan ultimately surpass you.% `# Z! h" [/ G# d0 A. i1 N

/ b5 }5 s4 ^, W) J9 r8 A4 C( J% T+ m1 g( L+ v# x' y% y5 ^
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; [  ~  [- L9 |None required, unfortunately. ( u! R4 D4 e- [+ A
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
& v% ?4 h/ H0 [, g7 A3 ]! ?  X% B# y
( a3 l6 Q, X0 s7 y& ?WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 9 r9 u5 h* q$ _8 N: y
Get this! You pay them! 4 _& x+ y) \4 p! a" P$ s
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- N. ?; Q( }4 M, X  d/ j$ ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" f  j5 C, t0 f; h: k% Qof the assumption that college will help them
4 ~# z9 L5 D/ H$ I0 k& }; _% nbecome financially independent. # u: c3 I2 S. v7 V4 n
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% I  R6 |* t& r+ r+ U8 _6 uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# M% {/ {0 J0 D4 j( ~: |+ O3 ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
( Z8 t) }' _& j
# _. W" J$ f5 N* H2 J6 ~' ?BENEFITS: / r( z; I# X, w4 L: z& n- t7 Q" R
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 8 B  P4 n" v. f3 v
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 R- _' z% ~" p, K( J) Vno stock options are offered,, G# F6 p) b- B4 \
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % u" S& {- t# X  O$ J9 G: i* y

9 Q/ N; ?" c( E& z0 `, Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses , Q2 P0 n1 X$ L; g
+ x9 S$ R* G! t* r; `- u/ I0 w7 n
for life if you play your cards right.
- d' g! `3 z/ d5 ]
1 k' c/ T0 I' h9 L4 {9 K. Z3 o& P 6 R0 e# ^* l9 s5 |; @
+ H) J$ C) p# N0 o4 i

* B5 x! ]* l6 [  i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **( g& n% d. o. q+ N) K0 h

  D6 [/ N. j8 S' H 0 r, w  g) K% J
$ X% a6 d0 W+ c; F. L% S0 h
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ( |- Q0 K3 }. W$ V3 `# F& A5 E
letting them know they are appreciated
" q& ~( r* k6 g& ]' q- U2 E, gfor the fabulous job they do...
: [: e- m! H7 u) oor forward with love
+ g2 c) d2 U: F' z" q0 V) }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.* d- w" u! g! J9 h8 X/ d

! y9 @& A6 i4 R! ]! D
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2025-12-10 15:29 , Processed in 0.129988 second(s), 14 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表