Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, x7 j$ {" `0 [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* D$ F' w5 L: x4 ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 q5 h& i4 j% BCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 P' Z2 H- z) i, M: P9 E4 ^; L) cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: P% Z, U) l) F7 C# b+ m& g5 l, fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 A7 g# e6 E  w& s9 C0 NTravel expenses not reimbursed.
7 y; W+ J, Y* Z* p/ B* Z7 R: HExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 }& w4 B; g) w$ eThe rest of your life.
/ v9 M& g) o, M0 h4 v6 x6 L+ cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
; C: {2 [/ w! @, g4 SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 J- O  a4 T- c- F4 y  n: oin case, this time, the screams from
+ w1 [6 k! X/ u5 ^( k' @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' A& i7 Z3 m5 t$ o/ H  pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& @5 T2 d) r' r8 A( AMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 m7 x- U9 z' I/ Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* ^; [& g. n* E1 _( Can embarrassment the next.
% W4 z7 h6 x6 Q' @. l+ O- p0 AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. O- a) l6 z8 |+ KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  d+ _0 F  a$ s" mMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ ^1 o* }. s* b- t) oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 k/ ~  {8 I8 l+ r! INone.
' n( R) B' ?% m! j" o4 d& t- yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) t4 H5 C0 b- F9 q7 t2 uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 c) i$ r, G# r: mcan ultimately surpass you.
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" W7 g2 d7 v3 E) APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 j  C4 p( P8 nOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ q5 p* m1 @0 k, A' Y4 w5 AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% |( W% Q3 k, _7 z. yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
# Q# B4 x% [& m" z5 S+ s3 iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 H9 X* ^- Z6 w+ o% b" ?# ?7 Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" E7 K) U( c& Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, H( [: \$ [" _
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; @" I+ o! [+ Z2 S5 u
7 E8 l, A- \4 j" @1 xfor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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& U# S$ z8 ]# k) X* x* FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 }/ \# x9 q) g" C8 ?letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  ~, L4 K5 M# c% z" Q/ d: D7 lor forward with love
; F/ \& _- r! |  B( c% y3 q9 \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.