Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" z1 R+ Q' N; E+ F% uand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; J, k( I5 c8 d6 f' Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) u$ I0 D" o8 ~3 [& z7 }3 RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 Z4 y1 U3 V" m$ iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- @# ?- i  A7 m" a' C$ fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; d3 q* w) E( l8 k3 U2 F6 X; HExtensive courier duties also required.
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1 {( Y) S% G% K8 u7 G) W- nRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
$ E' y5 X& L+ t( h4 ]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
: z7 r5 c% r% O; U1 q! J8 \the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, d6 }  M6 p3 R. q! I& |' YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 T; J3 L! W) O9 d/ n: U3 O: Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 e, g, Z' t9 n% S: ]& G- T# G$ iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ J8 j. J- N0 K# IMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) j. Z0 U3 ?8 g" q% E8 qthe quality of the end product.
4 z" [7 N+ c% ~" WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" \1 L4 N3 ^& }' e% I3 f- w; Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

" Y" b4 k/ D+ r8 G: B' Y; G0 `! h7 U( \POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 a& {4 G' ]. s/ Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% X, p$ ~3 M1 Jcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 }# |; m6 P( s/ g# C  I# ONone required, unfortunately.
0 ~* W) s3 B0 @9 Y4 y7 L) @, f5 P2 hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 l+ I- a) `& U6 g' Q8 SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 z0 F+ n* X3 c: V5 EOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( [. |. m* F3 W( Z1 M" Sof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( ]9 `& t" Y4 |7 cThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 l  c) T, R( Q, lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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$ b- O1 d2 g* O& U! ffor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ n- r1 \9 M1 p* x. c: Mfor the fabulous job they do...
; v2 o5 ?7 j( j0 Jor forward with love
& J7 u! m! m& `" v8 A( t; xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.