Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 Z5 A* ^, Z; E; K0 r/ Y; jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 u- y  L$ k2 `# UDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


" P$ `2 n% h+ u1 B) o: lJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 U8 @/ }8 ?# XCandidates must possess excellent communication
" U, D' i( M$ ?/ z% o8 E. U9 iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" Q+ L" c) r0 @5 _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  R. a) A$ @/ q3 _8 n# v) `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 H+ D$ n- P; b/ v( D# \Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
+ P: d$ T  \( t4 d# KMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 w" S. H( ?5 x9 j& XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 v, G  J, Y7 N3 L  iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
- |; i; ?; {. Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 c' y5 E) l% N1 Sand stuck zippers.
1 T" F* ^& Z1 Q  q6 x9 W2 Q/ TMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& X: P2 ^$ t  z- X0 ^# g, HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  Y# S2 @7 ]8 x# San embarrassment the next.
$ ?0 t' c3 y7 aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' ^; a/ a% V! g0 CMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
) ?# M9 O/ {& wResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 Z5 l6 u1 G' K* njanitorial work  throughout the facility.
  ?/ [0 M9 j% ^
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* L* M/ I% M2 e- [, J# h, `Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 Q4 v- \+ Y* f# x8 gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- _& j$ X3 @* m9 Z  |can ultimately surpass you.

4 @" \5 b# M( F
# ?; |- ]3 w1 tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* Y" s1 V2 h: s2 ]( B" j0 h5 UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
  n9 F/ _: l! TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 Y2 F8 o( K6 D& k0 Ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
  A7 S$ n) x9 P' rbecome financially independent.
2 f* q! _' J/ gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 b7 a. Z6 Y( M+ EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 X. C( |' M. u$ f% Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

3 f- C$ w8 X' @* x7 L% fBENEFITS:
: J2 n5 y9 K# qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  z1 M* E4 q  Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" |) h7 J# K2 r: n+ E
3 `5 F4 L( i& \* h2 B- b$ a6 ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
" N1 L( q" _# I
for life if you play your cards right.
; ]7 p- A9 S5 d9 z) X# ]9 A
  }- q- N. Q. b


# h& J( ]3 j1 Q5 d, y* i5 K& F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

+ \2 p- E& A5 v/ Y+ i: C' I$ Q# f
$ W; u2 c9 K# S7 \% [9 Z
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ \; j- D9 R2 F) |% tor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
( G% c/ X3 M5 A7 b  R% u

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.