Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( \: V1 k& @5 i  GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
$ [  S& c' [7 {) \$ Y6 LDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
, }3 S* G- C1 p0 OLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 P7 X4 w7 R) lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 i+ @/ h; e& Y, h* ?* Y9 _Candidates must possess excellent communication
! u* w: b$ \0 O0 z+ m, P+ T2 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
* |4 t. a; Y2 C" I. [' j$ E7 n4 a8 Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ P# I8 \# w  @: ^' ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ d1 X* g, ?+ R# i: Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 s* K# w) S3 C- }4 X. qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 B2 i) V/ W) _- l1 oTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) k: n+ P* E, o* \" }5 \( B& PExtensive courier duties also required.
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4 W- v$ f( n' |* `7 L1 V- zRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
/ [) [4 Q# }% f+ Z9 `: q0 MMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ P$ C- \+ U6 vuntil someone needs $5.
: b# W* u& e/ UMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 T3 L1 x, S/ Q# }) }+ W* }Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
' r$ l7 }& J: B4 u7 N, C7 Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 W- Y+ b0 A9 }% Z" \, fMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  |, J* [, T+ G7 G- _  C- r6 yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 ]' b- K+ _! ~9 q* q: I$ ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 z% V! }# Z2 S1 e, I  `+ l+ n! `% GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# y$ P4 z. i; F$ n$ wMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
* @+ [! m' }  _, E4 Y* ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ }2 S& M5 J/ m) X$ q0 Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* J; i  S3 l- w; X* p3 T* v! Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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/ I2 o! x2 Z" x6 a" ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% R/ K! X# O% X7 I  JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ c9 C0 A9 \7 x( b# X  [Get this! You pay them!
; h+ Z: ]- P: \$ T/ P* KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ S: ~6 d1 @' T* |8 M$ aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) i, g3 U3 z& c8 M  zof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* N4 r7 }* z$ t; N0 m( jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) V% A; c3 n  ^- xBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: O6 k- \- ?: B$ L4 p1 Q8 A  gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# `! F" T( |& oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.