Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: y) e" X' y4 c& N$ i: sDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ E' P  u7 q5 p2 z2 C) |) PLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* w# q8 v$ z" J5 `/ _Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 M; I& W) L7 N# F9 [) Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: Y2 @* e6 e; R4 Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. A1 L0 l6 m. _  l' z" G, }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 K/ U+ _5 s$ x. J; Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 }7 r, ?; K/ {" K$ oExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
% h) L. h3 t3 s- @The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" I0 S/ A  T. ^" uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
: Z& k$ k7 B7 s3 Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 H! ]$ M; a; C% Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
; M! Q) |* m* O% m! m2 m/ @* L+ W+ ?Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 v! Y9 S7 j" X: D8 Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. r( H% z6 b0 m! nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! _6 `  {- I* ?Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ E0 @4 W1 Q6 x* D2 j5 Q, m0 X! athe quality of the end product.
% k6 L. y$ K. O0 h- QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
) l% @6 \# q$ F7 J, e+ S' @5 e$ Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( `& T# p) V2 S' P9 acan ultimately surpass you.
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' J& X1 }6 x5 S$ \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ [* Y. K! s( Y9 L* aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
, E. ^; }1 J) h# ]& YOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; q% `2 x+ e8 u" `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% o' h8 W' F7 Y) F3 ^% `become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 l1 {, s, c- H8 i" A3 aThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ {$ z3 I9 w' l! N) R2 {) O8 c: @1 Q0 @$ |& ]you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
# U' H& Y" n! U& _/ {
BENEFITS:
0 k  {0 V; r8 l4 G( ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* ]  J+ x% C; _% pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 ~2 i7 c' T! z' Bno stock options are offered,
% e8 E/ x4 v3 t! A* Hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

2 B. D8 b8 V) Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 ?3 e" u2 w8 n1 o

- B4 [, b9 k# y8 S  dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 x. i3 h) H- t! `letting them know they are appreciated
( C8 u8 \' H1 |3 {$ s3 R1 ufor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 h2 r9 b% i  {2 `. d  L6 F2 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.