Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 _& B/ ?1 M/ l! {2 q$ ^Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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3 S+ e& ?6 F6 a, H1 hJOB DESCRIPTION:
& x5 B4 C( s. hLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ ^$ C* c* ?  |' b7 nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% Q) ^0 y+ c6 k  _$ TSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) N  c6 h' ^, j& [$ @, R$ w! cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 k; i& S! z% H  Z" H3 c8 }3 UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
" v; q/ F( o  c1 L. L- ^3 JExtensive courier duties also required.
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' i; ~0 Z+ k: b0 ]0 [) FRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& G- v0 B/ h0 }2 |$ ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- s! R4 @# H1 ~: U8 xuntil someone needs $5.
/ g, h5 r5 ?$ F- y0 PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' d9 @9 ~! L8 R/ }: `: V* n' s. YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 R4 f4 {0 I9 |( Hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 `  `+ s# e- H# b/ bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 O% P: H3 o  O; E; G5 SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 Q& g! H0 f: t) j7 `1 Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% r( k2 v% X# q$ yMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! X, _+ H8 S$ a5 S+ b0 rMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& F. U* O8 P6 F* G* d" Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; A' O0 z2 f% WMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- }" m4 i2 M$ o" _8 D/ K; BMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* c' Q% I" s& ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, o; _4 ?+ ?6 {% I# eNone required, unfortunately.
2 R5 p- L+ Z. N; d# UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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: L2 W0 I7 U$ z* G/ l2 wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 i- E" _$ g* ]) Eof the assumption that college will help them
4 L1 {/ r. n/ O# r* S  R1 }( B6 ybecome financially independent.
# D$ p. f& u* x! {! Z' {6 [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 u6 Q" U6 W: l+ g; E) bThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) x& V5 [2 M" \2 H  f5 |3 h6 d' H- Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ j& ]8 a, s7 e6 p$ V$ YBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- p( U& o5 f0 s9 K6 [/ O$ kForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
, C+ h- H- k, a9 B; W9 L4 p) cfor the fabulous job they do...
# `0 ?$ H' n; X4 W0 `6 F6 Ror forward with love
+ z0 N4 @/ ~+ R3 y% l/ Z/ y5 O0 [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.