Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 E! L5 Q2 m; J0 j6 j4 nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
2 N# Q0 _; \! _& i) t

5 ^- H; S8 g" R% J0 @JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! S6 F5 B+ f% [2 N9 t4 k6 K: tCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  D4 o5 s1 Z4 E/ W7 p- S# o6 e: NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 k1 M0 v5 M0 a" D. AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 c$ I7 R' u+ `( @# W0 y. Zuntil someone needs $5.
8 F3 U5 D& n" eMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, F% O9 R2 U! K) ]6 D9 D7 iin case, this time, the screams from
9 d) L8 d* V9 C9 v) C+ ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ T  n5 M; h( {9 _; gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ i" y7 }3 z$ C4 k1 \' h7 hand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( H1 a4 c+ a$ B) N( Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, j9 b) I3 y! k( ^  [, SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ A0 o( ]" T% B: wan embarrassment the next.
! U. {& N% ?# Y7 e4 [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 X! T# B4 f, R; v# h' dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* f* r! H+ L  E3 @9 r! f8 qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 v+ _4 ^; e- Z. S! u2 r. i# ]% [2 oMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  o( H: e2 W9 |. u! T3 r* [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; ?  |$ u: Q. k9 xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 A0 E1 b0 N9 E- bcan ultimately surpass you.

3 F  x/ }; o2 z+ t9 ^
/ ]$ Z% Y# K1 g5 g8 k7 q6 rPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& b9 Z/ x' M) t! lNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
) d* ~' V; D/ l9 j  C; H
( D/ S- I+ V( p( E0 a/ I' V- VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 I+ }; Q. q9 Q5 |" ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# A  N  W3 d+ B$ A! pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 n# Y$ ^1 T) tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ f0 {. B8 n- o8 i* zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ |2 F" u+ y2 ^+ j3 }( A6 c+ Ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! ]- O6 O& D/ {4 t; Vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
; l3 j9 q' m( H4 [8 ?
, Y" g5 i4 a: P  J  c& A6 g6 Qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

/ k) a  u: n$ @! D% Xfor life if you play your cards right.
! k7 Y9 c1 n, E4 y/ ^


( j' w1 C# {2 R2 W/ @( t: B
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
5 ?; |! j& K6 w3 F& }. g& k
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* Q& V# Q* m1 Xletting them know they are appreciated
" Y0 @0 u8 W3 Y8 nfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

* O# y* V/ A1 S; F( |3 b

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.