Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 @6 M( X4 Q1 @0 K: l7 h4 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 j+ ~3 P* r% k/ g0 cJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 r. i$ y$ S% P1 z9 Z$ VLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ A5 ^! r, o0 S' r8 `" g& iCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 G& V9 H  Q; I% t8 r0 l2 R& e, uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* H6 z7 Z  [& \) k4 H* \! I6 t' xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 I: z3 u+ Q. n9 E" T. e$ T0 rExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ K3 {6 z4 G9 ?2 x- l: }The rest of your life.
  V) I0 y6 S9 aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  E2 k# l( h1 [3 R4 ]+ u2 i2 S9 muntil someone needs $5.
3 Z( H4 v/ Y: q5 {2 TMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 _0 J) g' o( H7 Z7 Z6 q: [2 Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" e, e# a8 a1 v) [5 s1 lMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" L6 I5 I6 u. i) X' u) e  \such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# d3 E- W) j/ {3 j7 S$ G, O# mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 O/ o/ Y9 L; c% I6 D# p% n5 e4 BMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 F& f9 M8 W# ]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 G8 L9 b. m3 y( X+ yMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& B, u5 X2 \" k" O7 W* R& Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

" o) t) C" Q  T$ EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" E! \8 o5 i7 gNone.
( A% M' B' R- D6 O# a* uYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
& x8 ]7 Y' B( b: ?, t* F( d# ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 O  Z+ H$ b) V3 Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


4 A  S! l" B/ a0 c1 T2 N: _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ H4 A/ d2 u1 P: b. u6 @; g. eOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# m5 [' H& H- @' YWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 @9 Q: ?) \% H7 K# _) k; o" mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, v. x" v' B. z1 i& sof the assumption that college will help them
6 Y$ k* O- J: A% {# N8 N3 zbecome financially independent.
9 @! `' R. h$ yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, y. S( _  c0 {) sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ T% K! z( ^# r- \1 {no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 s0 T) b- h- I) @2 r; j5 q) \no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# ~* x4 S& ~) H2 v8 Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ T: N; L/ C2 \! M: |. V5 ]letting them know they are appreciated
9 S* ]! V5 f6 ~% U/ }for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
% u2 h! c2 Z. B; n/ l# V# Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.