Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ t' |1 Y% \' A- N% ?# _- e' M/ T" F$ TDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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- J( J# \# k. Y1 c1 _1 Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ e9 ]" W% F: ~! `$ |% t, V" JCandidates must possess excellent communication
4 ]  G2 Y% N  x. kand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, p) l6 m' e9 S, q  v7 Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, W! `5 M- h2 B9 @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( L0 g! P4 q4 k1 tExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ }, u& x- }$ t! u+ p! hThe rest of your life.
) M3 }! [2 ^# |3 L, ~1 ^- ?' N/ OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 v) S1 X6 F& d- d; ^5 U8 zuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 Y% n0 e' T' r3 o; L, bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: `7 T0 [' s6 P& t5 X$ U  T% ?) ?! WMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 i9 r% c* B" f( }! Q3 _and stuck zippers.
' Q% k  u2 p* d* B, q# C$ k* wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 m# R8 G' A2 J8 A- |coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* p6 \; D8 G7 h! l( P" D8 v% DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 Z* h5 ]( L/ i& ban embarrassment the next.
' d. e' p! i; }! `; C. u. p; pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; Y3 o% y  ]6 g4 X0 `. q* w4 vMust assume final, complete accountability for
* D5 F) n: H" Nthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 z8 T0 A# D6 N# F6 }0 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; o) O, u" u9 S% X$ ]+ Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
+ U( C- N2 l, r" h# |& rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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3 e. p" V$ W& G. W" N" h% |PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) R7 q1 N9 k$ `. m7 EGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 z% S! i, n7 S4 |  e/ c0 _BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
5 p( E- Z5 R0 Z0 |' p* y4 Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 M+ B* [0 U: m2 [1 B
- A9 n" Y# @* O% iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. M, h$ j) Y- M7 I4 D$ r
for life if you play your cards right.
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8 A( z8 K9 Q6 E; d' F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
0 w% k+ i: T) ?for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.