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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
7 i" v% ~6 h# t+ U# Y' FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma / Y3 _6 T  ?4 @1 ~. g
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ x. d) V+ G* W  P6 _4 Y4 V3 D6 e1 M
! ^4 u: ^) r5 T2 e( a2 xJOB DESCRIPTION:
: Y" i  C7 B: J" KLong term, team players needed for challenging,
  M4 a; I  h7 t2 |! k# i
3 f2 r6 R! A" ?! J- Q; T: H* kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& P; L5 G! {+ v# E; _5 u8 A2 XCandidates must possess excellent communication 2 v( y+ A7 _5 P/ o0 g, ^
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  f' ~. d+ b7 N# {3 E' avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& j" L" n6 q' z4 Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# H& u. @+ c  D! mSome overnight travel required, including trips to 4 n% Y$ u. t) `
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and * ?  x* u* C* C3 Y+ Y  u
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, z; |. M! U6 V$ f5 WTravel expenses not reimbursed. " h  {9 V* M; E
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) b) B2 G! t( j" \5 WThe rest of your life.
2 L' _- i1 D/ tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 9 K9 M; R7 x3 Y$ I5 l* f/ G
until someone needs $5.
# [. l* C% G+ ?2 X" X* y% m5 `: SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ r; \. l- ~- g) j7 m* iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 2 N6 `' Q5 Y7 C2 d( \* p
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, n5 |% `/ M+ u# N& j6 x0 P/ ?2 Cin case, this time, the screams from " }: i3 P& `/ y- o# i& P6 E
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. * T: q! Q8 U/ @9 N) n& ^9 [
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 4 Y# e5 C1 `- m/ }+ f
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: n* P/ D# w+ S: P  `5 v  a3 Kand stuck zippers.
% w4 J) H6 `. UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and : m" W/ X: l: \9 v6 D* l/ s
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! o$ t3 ]* C+ \1 AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; p- [, K7 M: G" e& [4 i% MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 c) Y: J6 i, F/ |7 Ran embarrassment the next. ) r. r. M% g3 G! V
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& k) C: D0 o8 P/ C+ Z! ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ( k: g4 W' @" ~+ m' [7 b: m
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. & U/ c. T& I. a8 A: P, ^- J
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 z2 u5 Y9 A9 n' fthe quality of the end product. ; m% l% w2 Q/ p! s2 Y  Z; E+ I" Q
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 }. |3 f# }7 P2 p4 ~& P. wjanitorial work  throughout the facility. ; y+ D9 X8 b3 J7 J" Z/ `

1 e7 y; l' l" D4 ^& L% M6 N& R8 VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 F* H/ H4 S9 e% k- K" j6 u+ zNone. . K" ^% V! N- M6 r
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 |1 \& l  x; }) jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and ; B1 |5 q! U0 d9 s7 R
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. @. t( e6 w4 h( b* {5 z2 Ycan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 4 w4 |& g7 T: `
None required, unfortunately.
& h, o- y# E9 J3 h( \: o9 WOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. % E8 V: u' ]& g3 x
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ' a9 S9 y1 M. m" h& b: U( O0 {; V
Get this! You pay them! 6 K+ A$ k6 Z$ ~1 s" l/ l. ~5 Y0 Q
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ( `) W- [5 q$ d- D1 F1 e
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 7 Z6 F5 a: u* @. C
of the assumption that college will help them
" ?( Z. A. A! d9 ^1 ~- zbecome financially independent.
! ^9 Z9 l1 N. }7 P3 @When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 I9 W" E0 g" n" \6 c  z' R. ~7 M* NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 T1 l4 Y# s  X; c2 Z& hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& \8 q1 S/ ~( ]2 GBENEFITS: & y0 i0 R4 t4 d" C+ x3 G, h
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 8 }' Z6 M/ j2 a2 c
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and . M5 S. V* ?+ H; G
no stock options are offered,
& @& D% b, O$ R7 @+ `7 Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, . `6 b- _4 C" e# |& U
; S* F& d$ h/ u9 Y
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses % M, k( Z4 C; N# r) f7 t( t
, \2 t2 U, W( B: U% T' u4 }
for life if you play your cards right.
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  v& _" l# A9 e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 x1 M4 R% Z5 y+ R8 i' Xletting them know they are appreciated ' ?  d; g/ a/ @5 P
for the fabulous job they do...
6 `& \: f) @* Y6 Y* oor forward with love " y2 f( x5 R- A4 e2 K8 H
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.' [6 H/ i. l* V8 o9 M% ^

- E* U1 h' o1 H, ^8 g
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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