Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

' C; P  X& C9 x' Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, e$ C% K2 n, p" s5 G) gand organizational skills and be willing to work
- @/ C# E4 }# f4 U- c! nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 n! h3 L: ]6 B# ]" y) k* K: ZSome overnight travel required, including trips to
$ Q$ o( {% J/ w+ l; `  \) M4 }0 Hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: m0 f% P, Z1 M( kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) \% ?$ B3 F  f3 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ t6 R7 q6 W* j# v/ RExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
" p# m5 ~9 B' CThe rest of your life.
3 X  T1 E0 ]. KMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
& |' b$ m& e4 j0 ^) a5 U$ C! r+ vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% U. G! k2 Z) z8 }& F7 |Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 y1 b" X4 j% L" R) r8 q# gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  d& f, Q- p- V' J+ q/ M, Dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, ~( F  V, u' \6 f2 @4 uMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ ~  I7 D# Q* b2 }Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% V. a  v- A( q3 LMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& I6 b9 g' @3 |: JMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' A! Z0 i% J2 N% x2 P$ ?) s5 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ S) I; d  ?" R7 |" j( FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# s, t4 ~, j. R8 p$ Q! ~updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ y3 \3 {8 R. h) ?0 a! |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! Q7 V9 w( n2 ~( A, G6 u( ?5 w$ NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

# h3 \  g! q, F' S, k8 ?BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ y! n  o9 e5 w% ?. t' G4 Lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, X8 P7 w% A  sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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1 }' O* d, b" R5 v. B% l# oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) I' |  i) K8 m* j  Cfor the fabulous job they do...
+ U9 S8 e" A% R5 A8 Sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.