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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
/ n9 \! J  n9 b$ k5 j: I( A- IMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma   Q, Y' r& ~: N$ {
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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7 ~7 O; s% d( O% _2 O) [# HJOB DESCRIPTION:+ S: l7 c, E- t+ g3 n. W5 Z
Long term, team players needed for challenging,$ \5 D* O+ e9 n+ S  N

/ b5 Z8 i' i4 t: G2 epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 @6 F, H3 y4 M8 CCandidates must possess excellent communication 6 M& U$ t- k  g  h) X
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; n7 d) l# c8 ^* Lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 {1 A$ g! b) }2 J: Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. . Y) R8 ]" r8 p0 Q7 l; M: [
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 8 P% N4 X# P, c! k! A
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 t5 \$ `& x6 [  c% vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. z6 M: w, f9 m- J. Z/ m8 dTravel expenses not reimbursed. - D& W& W' w# w$ k( Y: _
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:- c; i: O: g: B
The rest of your life.
$ q( M8 K: N8 G: h; a! z+ ~Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% N* O' J/ x3 K- D) Q% yuntil someone needs $5. 1 {" v& H$ ^! P# M
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. % V- m3 H5 M/ F# C, Z! Z
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  z# f2 C; c% q/ e: M# wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat - i/ Z1 S: V1 l; V( h1 s
in case, this time, the screams from " ]1 o7 i+ M' ]$ D, ?6 K8 ^7 e0 u
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. - B3 w( k% a% R" M3 E
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 4 C: h  k3 w3 F+ Z/ {
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets . I% e0 N$ O5 Z4 c& Q- W2 L
and stuck zippers. ( l8 H0 y9 y  L0 f( E
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 2 B8 a( K, W1 Q5 T, h- S5 w/ `9 {
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 0 {4 c) `8 l# h- H  ~) o
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ! u; P) L* o4 ]1 _5 `
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% i$ r4 E& L0 Han embarrassment the next.
* {% n$ K, x: [7 G5 q5 `Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 s0 L! T% O( q% V* Q( f% X. Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  x+ ?5 Q* f) d" T" H" h3 `Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 u1 w- W5 ^2 u9 SMust assume final, complete accountability for 3 X3 l3 W1 Q/ @# l2 Z( ~6 \4 w
the quality of the end product.
' m4 \) F' J# Z9 x# tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 a1 M; E6 E4 Z* ]janitorial work  throughout the facility. 1 U' \9 E7 y3 \& \& j3 r7 R" h3 d
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ W  Z' {# T  Y! M$ g* ~None.
0 @( R. }( Z3 M& mYour job is to remain in the same position for years, + m7 n7 X+ x- M2 y; T! z
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% {3 e3 }: F+ _* vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
* s& B$ E+ b' Mcan ultimately surpass you.$ t4 @" ~6 W, C' ^& [! ?

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. p; j" w& r/ }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! c, d+ ]+ q4 u: o- XNone required, unfortunately. 2 @$ E8 I7 G; e" R9 w, Q
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% G$ Q6 r) M6 m. N( s+ J6 o9 FGet this! You pay them! 6 T! j' Y9 ~, s6 N+ d
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  S9 C0 O  [4 Q- l/ f& e4 Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. B9 ~9 y3 _# \of the assumption that college will help them
- z4 [( T: H4 N* u' qbecome financially independent.
! w1 P* Z6 P  c  i, ?5 ?When you die, you give them whatever is left. 4 [  Y& x9 N9 x$ h! U6 s
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 0 d4 }, z+ s- s; g
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: 1 Y- [+ Q) u: a1 p  Y
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 N" A' C8 O2 R' Q1 uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# Y4 e3 |: O: q  i0 x9 `2 }2 K( ino stock options are offered,
$ l8 }1 r* X( Z; j8 [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 9 s  _- L& [( _) x2 M2 N
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses * g. i2 A4 N6 p# D
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for life if you play your cards right.
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- b# c6 b3 D: x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 F: c7 H# h2 l4 [5 v5 xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 P6 C& F0 F- z4 ~letting them know they are appreciated
! \, b, ^+ M% V; ^# `7 P. Vfor the fabulous job they do... 0 q1 |9 {* `  v' ~
or forward with love
, k- t9 U( w$ A2 v: j$ R8 Dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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