Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ i; h( g" }- u8 i8 s0 ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
: e: e8 F/ E, ~5 KLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 m0 F) [* ^- J5 Y# b$ u" L# @and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% M4 o- j+ a( |6 d6 ~+ F7 G4 aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: S, O+ Q9 e( F: k; QSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

) K: X# A+ j5 w9 uRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 `- n- J( \, m/ G/ |' FAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ [) x3 {# w1 Y, W6 Pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! v8 }6 c! w0 `8 H+ ]in case, this time, the screams from
" \' p5 P* D( ^) Hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- l6 N! t; G1 v# S" }4 LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; K3 i5 R+ W3 o$ ?' K9 i* Z2 zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( D+ Y$ z/ G! q5 f5 P* YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' I  j$ c* i# Y: x0 d, aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 E) I- ?, T4 [& i9 o& A: ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! ~5 W& A7 P$ q4 U# z2 e  @Must assume final, complete accountability for
  \2 R" t  d% vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. U. u# Z- H8 }janitorial work  throughout the facility.

% S. Q1 I4 V( S. ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
: C4 S/ h1 T* j- ^3 h/ }$ F! a* Z- h' IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
) w' W" E/ M% ^' Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 g0 }* i- u- H4 ?Get this! You pay them!
5 b1 ~; y- M$ J# x: UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( k9 _! T& j. w3 O* T) da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: Q/ c, G' ?( }% kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" v; X0 g& W) oThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 k2 N! M3 u$ @# M( s. Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. K7 e( D" v+ N" y2 \' w  y! UBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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* D, y4 h/ ~8 q7 \* K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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  |: E, E/ P- k
; F" X+ y3 @$ @1 Y$ f# E5 J& WForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.