Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 A; o$ b6 P! E$ U3 F1 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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6 J9 S9 y& j# F& w6 T) WJOB DESCRIPTION:
: \: \& S# m, e. {: \& g2 Q6 TLong term, team players needed for challenging,

# Q" E& H( W7 w* Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 F3 a9 u2 }9 K% R6 g# sCandidates must possess excellent communication
* y# c! R: ?) s+ }and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 c' m0 C2 D6 J( h8 bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! E) `# R; G4 e5 P, c; J. s2 rSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 Q+ ^7 @% _/ |8 Fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 H% O7 y% G, S9 w5 H7 BExtensive courier duties also required.

# K$ U3 h  u3 Y  _2 URESPONSIBILITIES:
+ Z/ ]* ^. n  F, gThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! W! S; n# D2 _' l# V5 ?9 H8 xuntil someone needs $5.
" x0 T7 f! D" _8 t6 VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 A. C0 t1 H- b) ~4 j) g$ a& ]. q. Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 `/ H( ~! L$ y9 C" L. fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* s0 b8 ^, S3 U7 P7 b+ k" G3 Mand stuck zippers.
2 L7 m0 j  D) i0 R0 X4 M' F3 s* O. ?Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 N  f4 D$ c# L9 H4 g! gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 g! [) t) |' D) K" iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) m: ?8 m7 H2 O: q/ i5 C& wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 r& L: Z6 Z) f6 F7 \$ [9 Jan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( r( U* T' [& e8 B1 mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" U" ~& t9 }8 yMust assume final, complete accountability for
  x0 s6 e2 C& S& X' l+ @the quality of the end product.
# v6 e, p! _# @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 G' V" B- {  ~# W- H9 _$ J7 Q" v5 Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 z" r1 b" ?0 r8 j1 P$ k; oNone.
3 r/ q% n; u4 o$ x, @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- Y  |/ V+ I" n/ y: h6 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! V4 j" I4 M, ?% }/ \5 _' kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; G) J7 p3 m# z6 z8 {0 S5 nGet this! You pay them!
5 b5 y, w% h7 a! f5 i. FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 }' x2 N: x+ _of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: }& r  \. _+ H1 X- m0 z7 BBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  {7 d' o) ?: {. f5 M2 wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.