Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 y$ k: `! m; hJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 I4 r$ Y7 n" W0 t1 zLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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, I; h0 r1 |9 N: V7 upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 p5 e* p" G$ Y3 c& G' Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" x0 f  b2 D+ v% v! h) mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' R0 K: W0 G( T* hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* N% p4 V+ E$ [2 G: a( GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 W/ M: U/ G; {) G4 RMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( u2 m  H$ X( o; Z1 W' L5 p2 ?until someone needs $5.
. g! x' Q. o# N9 q5 P3 @  AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; ?" a4 F; e, @$ Y% X; q9 O( Zin case, this time, the screams from
+ e3 A4 q7 K3 q5 ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ w! l7 t$ ~6 i4 }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! j0 T( u7 |  l# H; yand stuck zippers.
1 S) Q, e5 ~( t2 {: EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 Q% L* J. L5 ~% ]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
' s- s7 B* a0 NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% F3 ]  W3 L4 H: iMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 X* D5 j. q6 h' Sthe quality of the end product.
! m+ }' X# W  }9 e8 zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- T, i" H* v0 L) m, G2 iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 q6 [- k3 ^8 h2 k. B, E' S2 nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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, {3 Z8 l9 j. ^# R! ZPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ B+ n: t, i" k3 sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: X/ J9 e% i3 Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' E7 W# b6 d- W' P$ f8 _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' `- ?6 x7 ?* r' M. g/ ~: lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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5 U, L/ D6 O8 d" k) \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 N6 }/ I3 Q% D+ Q8 UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 d0 G6 Q2 \5 `' k9 }4 A! ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.