Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, T: `' N  v8 F! h' ^& M6 mCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, o7 L( l2 J/ [% Q- W/ e- R# I3 band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. Y* e( _# E6 g% }" U1 D0 Tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 R& S0 @9 E; \4 t& P8 U; WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
! n, f% r; P" jThe rest of your life.
& O9 S* P4 y/ U, cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 X. G. i! d6 l. s1 d+ j7 funtil someone needs $5.
' ^1 d4 d) E2 JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 Q, [* K0 a. p; k' min case, this time, the screams from
- ^! T- U2 [& i& Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 a9 i. X; i: z9 g% jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ ]6 [" @& n; a' l/ Usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' S7 z. o5 A" G! {and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" g& D% c; y) j" l1 l. nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ w) Q1 d+ {& K$ R" F' V. fMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& v0 @0 C5 @& m( z3 E3 y; L, UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. l0 _9 @" l% `& g. EMust assume final, complete accountability for
  a: |! ]9 V  v) K8 k7 b3 Q# Cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ s$ \2 [( M& _# m1 |2 k% r) ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) v1 N$ j, y" n  V/ w# {None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 g! ?8 G; ?! z/ V2 |" m3 Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. c! J9 s: \$ G7 ]& m: Oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- d3 N- `. ]6 ]: n+ vcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ O2 c: G0 D! Q% eOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 {. _( f% e4 Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! O* I) B& C& I( U. Pof the assumption that college will help them
# `3 R! ?0 _/ Hbecome financially independent.
: v9 j5 U8 m$ A1 v" fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% X% \. O, o& _+ D5 x. aThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 e; z8 [' |2 @1 _BENEFITS:
) ?2 i8 j2 }' v+ O. K7 \4 ]While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ r% e0 N! p: C9 x; k: r  l; mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( Z  u& ?  D' V
for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 N0 h( w% B2 }+ y) z0 yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! \- y, ^$ y2 s& ^letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
  E4 P$ i3 {% R# Ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.