Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) ~- B: A* D+ f; m* q/ u0 yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
6 O, I/ x# k3 k% K% M# u4 U

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 ?, D& t1 E/ a+ a. m' W1 qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ U* ~+ M4 n" d" d. Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% J1 s" z0 ]# z5 W& M0 }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% b1 ]8 a7 L" ^  |4 x7 S2 tuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 D" F) U1 x, p" T$ i4 |& a+ @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 I: Y9 _% s, R6 }$ asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ A0 ~' y; ]2 M" z9 dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- D3 n, U! \8 v' ]1 G; jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ I+ z  J5 z. M5 s8 h6 s9 LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 z5 O' L  j; B  c- O0 N5 san embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ a( n% _+ ~9 Z: t2 TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# n' {3 x2 n% ]$ P5 Y$ [the quality of the end product.
5 C. ?5 y+ W5 VResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 Y6 X$ v" F7 j1 I) u) fNone.
' _4 S% t' \% M* z1 PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
. X1 z5 s( M7 t: y( P8 Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
3 [6 I$ B( e* C$ z5 J. [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


+ p: Q0 n% C2 V) \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 q& s. m0 w0 o* V) u- X: @2 C& {None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

( `- E" Y) E: x* i' }WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 s: c. Q" T6 q  H/ fGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- X2 A/ B+ g& @$ C, Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 v8 Z% ]9 G% p, ]become financially independent.
5 ?( ]3 G  ^3 }1 b5 Y1 mWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. ~3 e/ [4 N+ W6 Y! Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
/ \2 E7 z7 c9 p! H
! M& Z% Y7 ]6 f% X. GBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 i* h4 w8 i+ \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
7 t  L7 d8 h- w2 g8 p* ~. ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
2 W3 d$ M' `/ Q: H- ~  R  u- B% M
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 [$ O0 _( g) y1 V& J
for life if you play your cards right.

! {  V2 q: f2 g8 O. N* o- R& Y1 N
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! z' a6 G6 t, b6 ]/ ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 r( k2 d& D4 O+ l9 Q; h+ I


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 B' {8 o3 }4 x5 gletting them know they are appreciated
) \& x+ a# }6 w/ K3 q" Bfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
8 g* A- `- e3 g. e& Bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
3 H1 y/ b- s4 i! L- a8 {9 |
) O- B/ s9 j, A5 T+ x

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.