Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ U% a" Y2 X1 [" ~! X5 aMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 U7 Q- m3 L2 X" b, ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 ?* z% Z& r2 s! X. G" g+ lJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# c( |- F  b+ b' r$ c2 Q! o6 c- @Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: \8 @. _: @1 Y1 ?; P. Q9 avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 X; A/ f9 b! l7 r8 Y' Xand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 x& o8 f5 j6 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ X7 g4 x- O" a( ^; {- Aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- c" f. ~8 a% g1 ^0 NExtensive courier duties also required.

/ G. x3 |  V& S- @RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 {. U6 U7 }( {$ qThe rest of your life.
! U8 P" m+ L! B6 [$ O3 qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ I( J" x5 n# J$ J5 Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( r8 G1 L+ D& V7 i  A9 n2 min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ U5 S5 w0 F% O3 |# Q" ?$ o- Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 @. B; U9 u# v3 rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 H# c1 e0 o6 P# j7 [( Ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: B  l" E' L8 p5 D6 s: C; X* a, `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 b; k. v' M9 {an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- ]# f# _$ F8 b  C8 V* ~" s, g9 f) ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 \5 j9 q3 h) D" a& N( m! `0 }" @  }janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ o3 ?4 e. _$ `% _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* Q* X, R0 c: |4 f! N! pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 {0 f7 U" i# ?updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 }6 _7 I, h6 Q5 t6 E' Ucan ultimately surpass you.
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. u! a& Y) {: {% _& I0 r$ oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# A1 y/ X; e/ ^0 ]! w' K! vOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 K" H2 Q& l$ eGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 k- [' L9 A" m5 B, Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 P$ p+ A) `3 J. Y* Sof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 T% w* F# A; t, s; s4 eno stock options are offered,
$ W* I8 Y+ I- f" wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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$ P4 M# [4 K" d' O$ c) c! E& aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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7 P: n. @4 k% a0 b** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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6 V, Z9 K7 v  Y6 V' dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.