Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ ~3 h$ b" x  y' d' @% bDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

5 d! a4 Z) b4 [% S) C# ~, R
" h& n) V+ o7 V* J, q2 [+ C9 vJOB DESCRIPTION:
% \8 |) d5 N2 A! E( [9 XLong term, team players needed for challenging,
, |! Q$ ^+ N8 Z( O0 R; q9 F. t; V
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 V7 R5 i7 b2 `Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 i$ F: a: Y. W; o& P$ Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
& |7 B/ Y- q. j- F. ~4 Z* Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( f8 y0 E5 q( h8 o  Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; o' @  ~8 C4 `& {$ eTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

4 K6 i0 F) v5 i+ e# v5 VRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ r% }* n8 l" ?* guntil someone needs $5.
% k- y  G3 [" V8 I' U; ^' p# MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 P9 m. `* t8 t! c0 p' X5 T) Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# ?' O, Z) [/ [/ F" O6 Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* Q8 ~, A2 A9 T+ C1 n5 p) ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% e& T- u! e' U3 V1 \, d; H+ a1 G% IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ n8 K$ y4 l7 V$ Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 b/ f- I; \& ~3 X; g9 WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 b9 u* b' }9 X6 f1 ~an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 M) p3 w, H! y4 ~* A0 h" h3 BMust assume final, complete accountability for
. r, z: _- D& \8 y: x* ^  qthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

8 ]; m2 P* I/ B: O: y5 ?9 n- c9 m" tPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ y. c& ~! ~( E( @4 V1 Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
5 t) `8 C4 p' ]4 i0 w

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  [0 f2 [) p- z: ^! `+ f5 CNone required, unfortunately.
7 E; S* l* ~" W" x# ]2 z! kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

! J8 _. j' |0 J9 N, zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ \4 Z* y+ W; Ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 d0 ?, G8 h4 o( |0 Ibecome financially independent.
$ M  y9 J, m& s4 Y9 s- p, F& [1 pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
- M& Z# o% @! y6 x! u
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 B2 l! S& |3 E: f  F* Sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ V3 ?, u8 k5 O* r- p0 J- |
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, T) I3 S. x) a" Kfor life if you play your cards right.

* K, @4 p( c0 s( L" P- }/ M

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


( G( ~: {0 a. A0 w1 o8 _
0 K4 @' l! V0 v& N4 u; JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
2 F( p, ^3 S( {. o, t9 n, T2 v9 u' I2 bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.