Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, h' j3 V# X' W) r# C4 GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 Z, M9 a9 Q4 @  }Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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1 [! y( m7 ]9 d, x* F- s5 fpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; o! }+ t' K. a2 w9 a8 ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 G  [# N: E6 OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# [/ O" |: X" [/ Yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 I$ I4 k9 Q" e/ B: ^  UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 Y. K/ u9 H0 S, ?. m, J& e* @3 dExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 C* b& i' ^) l6 {$ p# @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  K# J/ ?# {$ ?5 @# @1 iuntil someone needs $5.
: z1 \1 g9 @5 `2 NMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* A0 D  ~4 ?' ]8 D" RAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 G7 i/ T) p5 Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ A; g* ]2 {( \7 u6 Y9 g$ j+ xin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 u* ]& W7 r4 f  [  r4 lMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& Y% y! m& S3 w* V  ^. C- O' o, msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ h/ n. m7 a2 ~! k; a5 rand stuck zippers.
" i9 P5 N( y6 {- _( M# R' aMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 q4 y! Y) W0 H6 k2 _4 ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( [" q7 `5 D0 T% s5 L* wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
; E* k* E8 N! k) W2 QMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 J) }5 x4 Z* K" B$ H! [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) I& C6 v$ x% Y2 }the quality of the end product.
1 ?6 h; s* r- V/ z- j# l! S# QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 f* N, {0 A8 @) \' r0 E( Q6 \janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. D- A: R1 W4 Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( H2 D6 e# W7 B+ L$ @! YNone required, unfortunately.
0 y1 x! B. j0 N  m, FOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) n' Z$ ~: C0 O3 L- Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 H5 d+ _# N/ q: PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
2 h& p- f5 k7 s" |9 i1 sWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( S( m* F2 r. k, j8 U6 x* uno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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2 S6 {2 A+ @  e- O+ ^* w' h( runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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& u0 c8 u% t8 u** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



' T0 r% W* b/ k( LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( }: c  _# h3 \; c" }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.