Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 R1 ~* z4 M5 @% HMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" V2 U* Y% W7 o9 t: WDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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% ?8 _3 t/ C$ l1 K( G7 RJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 U1 K2 [  J' E5 V4 E* V( T. U* rLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 T! y6 a# y* z# i6 {" `variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* g# E+ P" n8 OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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) \3 s* f; E( j) u! p, A7 lRESPONSIBILITIES:
: i/ @/ t" q7 u4 l* ^* P2 WThe rest of your life.
9 c+ ~  J4 c: ^0 ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 J# G5 r# T/ g- b; Juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# k* g9 K' U! d' rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
/ P" E2 k3 r$ D+ }! ?& nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! r2 _; t, `  |0 F6 Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) [- \# f9 v- J: K: Tand stuck zippers.
4 u* s: n0 R9 F# _; J9 N1 bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: q# r' K: v* ~/ AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& ]+ t# M; z! U8 G) W/ Z$ k) ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 Y( w8 ?$ A5 J9 n) x  x0 {an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" t! ^0 m2 j$ G# dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 m6 ~- _9 n" f5 c2 jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 V6 I& J# h, @( j! MMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 x+ J2 k, d' P6 I% j$ Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 @7 m+ {- h/ e/ p" qPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
# T1 P6 [6 }# N0 H; E1 N5 gcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* f% n/ ?. f# d8 H# t' kWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
& A) q4 w0 C( r9 N! j! S) `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
1 Q2 X* t5 |; Qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- o* r5 l9 Q( p1 t' pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
- x0 D- O2 X/ x& VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 R# w8 {" q9 \( ], Y- G# S4 }. yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 J, f' O; h' t# ~0 ~9 \1 Q+ k! s9 I
- ~5 a8 B! l/ A$ i4 X& j. @for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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5 U2 Y' t: w4 C3 p3 X& Y9 F
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: k; z, p+ q# a8 ?, \or forward with love
/ y; @" {" ?' T3 f6 B# xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.