Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ U9 p) Y; m6 W1 i: S2 t# Z5 _1 Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 Q+ ~4 |  d0 \& ?5 dCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ A; H5 ~3 Q6 u0 oand organizational skills and be willing to work
$ i" k8 Z9 @3 o: G* }, w. |& z0 J6 \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& Q4 f- M; a9 j) Z( o- @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 [& M6 H# y! lExtensive courier duties also required.

5 l& M9 D/ \1 @: rRESPONSIBILITIES:
' v# I: z6 [2 |The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  M; ^& p9 A" Q! Vuntil someone needs $5.
8 @/ y- M" c& }+ X" b* i" YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; ~9 U1 x6 R# j4 E" P* L0 j5 hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 h3 y" k  E4 @+ a; Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* q3 T2 s* s: ~$ l# |; C! R- y# ?in case, this time, the screams from
5 R7 B# a8 L. K9 e9 j4 Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% M# j% p6 e$ NMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% s( F* i1 _/ h, L% ]an embarrassment the next.
) T9 b0 \. P  t' h' VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! C' A. g% Z: d$ I" v( E& J5 L. L0 L  jMust assume final, complete accountability for
& ~& N; M5 q0 m: U) Z7 G- G$ f% I! Cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- U( F8 e. b$ z- Z0 H& Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 b# ?# l5 E) H+ [2 v! y0 N: c, H" ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 x3 Y& ~: O" i1 Y9 t' t* K& TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 V: V8 h4 X" {5 rGet this! You pay them!
# S2 S1 `9 y( K5 ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ q. f$ h2 v- u* da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
0 l( `: U% V1 d; p4 N5 `" Obecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ D: {4 y8 D& Vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! H- _9 s1 G8 M. t; W! A8 j" rno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- t  l- x* N- b6 h. TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 f; M" z4 u4 w: f" N* Y' D* D1 f" eor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.