Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ z: g; Q6 r0 F8 {$ D2 S- Y" lDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


$ s# Z* Z) G& ~  H0 tJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- o- J2 I( P* D8 o, p/ i4 X; p( \' hCandidates must possess excellent communication
# l$ `, U7 r& tand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 m3 o1 {  S' Z! o3 }1 Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 \/ N. i0 X9 p* v$ V$ k; kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ G" b4 w! {: HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 F* J# j3 ?9 R' yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 v1 ]: b! R! p% k/ z( n" mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" z- R' U' E7 l" B, c2 duntil someone needs $5.
& G+ x2 A4 d" F5 kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 ~2 v9 J* O7 i" H  Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 R% p4 I5 ~: b1 v9 H4 i- Y. win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 o1 d5 z0 E: U  R% t/ y2 pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- b) R) Y1 |( g7 P" y9 Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 X$ |2 r0 `& I2 t- w$ bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( i7 u7 m  r$ r* ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 f) e- j& j  T8 D/ gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, V# I# _! J9 EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- a7 K6 u7 H: m8 V) C, ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, g# @+ G1 b$ H6 C2 k) B3 Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" z. H% [% a2 r2 K6 ^/ R+ bNone.
+ y9 p! i+ T% k$ q  o. ]$ }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 D( N1 @. v; dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) v3 F3 G8 a3 \$ A5 k% |can ultimately surpass you.

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7 S& U+ i1 u2 G/ S7 mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 p% `. `* D  s; |5 t7 zNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 |9 ]4 w) y+ {4 xGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ W& x# C0 M& P1 U$ Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 n5 |" ^$ m+ W& e8 I6 E3 l/ Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 c' T4 s6 U8 j/ ]6 t& g: z' |( R5 \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- ?% ]; \- z# l& f9 ]no stock options are offered,
$ r7 v4 F3 {$ |0 g; T2 ?$ p$ Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ K  z9 N4 I3 L% U" K: p
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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; T: M3 U9 }1 l, C" EForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 }6 y5 m% B4 w2 A0 C$ W; |8 _or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.