 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 2 N; o/ k" p4 ?% `
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
; |8 O) F9 x7 R) }6 V' p0 i8 l& L; f8 k. k" }9 f3 X; s7 `
0 q: X7 M8 R) P% U: r; J
JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 N& I9 A S6 x D5 yLong term, team players needed for challenging,* J% F7 l/ e8 I, b) B: r" b( C
: A4 a4 k) c" k$ a1 Q+ O6 d
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 C4 k7 c! n! c* ZCandidates must possess excellent communication
+ N1 w; V8 D" Tand organizational skills and be willing to work
, r5 W+ J/ Z+ K8 U8 I3 Evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends " f5 o* G' _1 ^$ C8 m- @3 y
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 7 |1 D" U$ n" g* b
Some overnight travel required, including trips to % [: z4 m. `" |! `
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) R; u6 }# L/ ~3 K5 Y( \endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
]: Z4 [ V% N' l# J- v) KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 A# o% I. L( Y9 F0 x) @Extensive courier duties also required.
- H4 m$ p, e5 E( r
2 ~, p) i3 \1 c! \, v" T- @RESPONSIBILITIES:
I( a7 t$ ?2 v$ T W% [The rest of your life.
3 t3 h/ Y7 I9 n) N& DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, % |: R: r Y# G& l8 d) ]
until someone needs $5. ' V+ I2 T+ x2 A
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 T8 h3 q X9 ?5 oAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 3 F# @2 w7 ]6 j) x
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; s7 W2 a; }9 e. B8 V2 m% [in case, this time, the screams from 2 A2 c d" S. u
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. X) {9 Y0 D+ M4 t5 y0 w1 \" MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ; i' ]' a3 p$ X" ?3 B+ m a( l
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) X4 \3 J9 h5 @: _$ Zand stuck zippers. 3 }2 D; k! N9 \3 ^
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- t/ y9 s4 n' ^, Z$ _/ G- bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 1 V: J, X6 U; D8 v4 H
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 d- v' l5 h1 ]5 x% z \5 l. VMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; d1 B7 D+ w. \& ^. Lan embarrassment the next.
8 ?# c. x& y: a, dMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ! g) M- O# t; u" `
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. " q5 p" ?: m) M: {
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; ~9 ?6 B: G/ ?$ X0 aMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 `- ^. `2 C2 I7 Jthe quality of the end product. 5 H; f& p4 W. ^2 I% e6 z7 n) S- y
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and : \( T: p q7 k" ~
janitorial work throughout the facility.
1 L4 i3 }% Q* k2 y. ^; a& o0 w1 w' X; Y6 r2 s3 H+ z
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' R ^' {1 n J4 O5 _) FNone. 4 ?- \% Z8 j) n, M1 b& a7 W
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 U Q. s" s; @- U( M4 Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 7 G X0 Y7 D3 f
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 Y& k0 e( z, w& R9 Lcan ultimately surpass you.9 R6 q: T; v# K
6 ?; R U9 G# N0 ~; z2 p
9 J4 f( |2 H( }1 p
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 1 T7 |: O; f- b
None required, unfortunately. : Y# ~/ v. k2 o6 m& x7 e
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 7 X- s0 d2 i" `
0 Y/ o2 [* ]. ?4 `WAGES AND COMPENSATION: . R" s% \2 J4 A
Get this! You pay them!
2 }$ i, T. t, V/ aOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 2 k* c# Y% ?* i$ L1 A
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 7 x9 T% k$ Q3 @, A: F
of the assumption that college will help them - Z( f2 R, p4 s' k* `% u5 P6 _
become financially independent.
( v$ W( _4 H9 S7 YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 2 T0 k0 Q/ l; \5 y, M
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ c9 P7 I" U, n4 G7 l9 B' r- \you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 7 R [6 b3 B$ u2 s' l/ S) }+ r
8 O: u2 l) N# |/ W0 z" t, a7 i# z
BENEFITS: % a$ t; K1 V$ e1 }
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ' b) E* H( ?$ i l& o) I! ]$ x
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% x0 @5 T% L. U" dno stock options are offered,
3 C! p5 s$ [# A% u" u x, ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % _# P0 F$ s: N0 p5 w
, p# r: M! j3 k. J! ]" [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 n8 c( B0 ~4 G1 n5 x" c) ]' j# I
3 O% l o8 F! Mfor life if you play your cards right.) V6 q7 M. o; p5 D
2 `1 Y8 [2 O2 i* l+ _' o V. d- h3 }3 F r
+ O' ?/ x1 F# x4 O& P0 B j' o' E! w8 ?6 F- w9 S) ?$ m
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **+ H) N4 N6 w# R) d4 Y. i: Q
, Y8 I% c7 x6 D3 k* l" B
$ V3 K: n1 `9 w
3 X' b7 H9 b. [8 J8 u9 L- _1 L+ FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ! z/ `4 `2 a1 ^" m5 h$ r4 t- K
letting them know they are appreciated * p( H( f4 ~1 \
for the fabulous job they do...
, t* S( i' e1 P* H5 I& _3 v$ R7 k: _or forward with love
$ e8 p4 y# D: i- S+ Sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
( D1 j3 v- @% ^1 q; ^, E
7 ?9 g( L9 E0 U6 j' R |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
