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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:) K2 C/ b4 d# X, s& H
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ z: g; Q6 r0 F8 {$ D2 S- Y" lDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ s# Z* Z) G& ~  H0 tJOB DESCRIPTION:, H; z5 e" {9 C
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- o- J2 I( P* D8 o, p/ i4 X; p( \' hCandidates must possess excellent communication
# l$ `, U7 r& tand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 m3 o1 {  S' Z! o3 }1 Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 \/ N. i0 X9 p* v$ V$ k; kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ G" b4 w! {: HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 F* J# j3 ?9 R' yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 7 f% f7 H0 o. E: y+ \& r, G5 J
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 1 e4 o9 I& ], n% P6 y1 O" z
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 0 J" Y; w9 N; k" G, @2 q/ J
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:, I1 o0 |& m. I: i0 C
The rest of your life.
8 v1 ]: b! R! p% k/ z( n" mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" z- R' U' E7 l" B, c2 duntil someone needs $5.
& G+ x2 A4 d" F5 kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 8 P0 m; H2 Z" e+ Y$ Y
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 ~2 v9 J* O7 i" H  Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 R% p4 I5 ~: b1 v9 H4 i- Y. win case, this time, the screams from % y$ V  d9 H3 e$ E8 ^, |5 F  W
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 o1 d5 z0 E: U  R% t/ y2 pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- b) R) Y1 |( g7 P" y9 Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ; O$ R7 R( I/ w" D- R
and stuck zippers.
4 X$ |2 r0 `& I2 t- w$ bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( i7 u7 m  r$ r* ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 f) e- j& j  T8 D/ gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, V# I# _! J9 EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, % x* B8 Q" B; `+ @- e8 T
an embarrassment the next.
- a7 K6 u7 H: m8 V) C, ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, g# @+ G1 b$ H6 C2 k) B3 Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 7 ?; x: ]' ?% o" g* A' U- J8 Z
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. - x! P! h/ a) p& D! A
Must assume final, complete accountability for - u; M' z0 I( I! O" B
the quality of the end product. , l2 r/ r8 Q( W. z& R" t2 l9 r
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and " F, A* U5 k5 m* L1 `+ b' |
janitorial work  throughout the facility. . N% e! h/ W* P* A
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" z. H% [% a2 r2 K6 ^/ R+ bNone.
+ y9 p! i+ T% k$ q  o. ]$ }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 D( N1 @. v; dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 2 q2 h& a6 [; ^$ U
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) v3 F3 G8 a3 \$ A5 k% |can ultimately surpass you.7 k4 x2 V4 }* [% t

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7 S& U+ i1 u2 G/ S7 mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 p% `. `* D  s; |5 t7 zNone required, unfortunately. 4 l8 S- e" |) S7 H: {1 ]7 K
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 1 |3 @( Y5 `# a& P
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 |9 ]4 w) y+ {4 xGet this! You pay them! ( i$ S: a+ p* D
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ W& x# C0 M& P1 U$ Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because   c, t. J. m+ E4 `* s. w/ ~
of the assumption that college will help them ! i+ Y  m8 N0 \7 Q5 ?; N
become financially independent. % c9 Z1 k! F1 S3 S* ~! C7 m
When you die, you give them whatever is left. % M: y& ]5 b2 A; }
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 n5 |" ^$ m+ W& e8 I6 E3 l/ Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: - z" M  _1 _. y: ~# ?9 c" d
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 c' T4 s6 U8 j/ ]6 t& g: z' |( R5 \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- ?% ]; \- z# l& f9 ]no stock options are offered,
$ r7 v4 F3 {$ |0 g; T2 ?$ p$ Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses # N4 ^$ D1 M# N! t1 Y# A+ H# R
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **3 n( `/ \2 R5 z$ T. i1 Y; l3 z

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; T: M3 U9 }1 l, C" EForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 0 k7 `1 w% z# P2 q
letting them know they are appreciated # V  m3 T$ h! k, H& W
for the fabulous job they do...
3 }6 y5 m% B4 w2 A0 C$ W; |8 _or forward with love 1 w; {1 K2 |3 D. k4 f
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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