Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 @% h, X5 `2 n" yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* \0 z7 R" a- _( W) nDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


$ H; K) F. V7 C1 F- G5 UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

: U, s8 H# Z2 i3 Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
$ a: o4 K2 b0 S- D( vand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 W  P: ~0 X  ^# w$ q! `0 z# j1 yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" B3 @  `+ Z# |3 f* J% u) yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
1 |* t) u/ G/ b  C& d. {/ V
RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 o  Q& s- h! ^& MThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: p; F8 ^3 h: F( H2 W0 I+ LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# h8 G* m0 z/ B8 s4 E0 win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 K, w' x1 x, x6 b, N. T' JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 n; K+ R4 J. s/ Q4 [, p) Esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) C% C! r7 O" \$ j$ CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! Z6 x. v5 R$ E4 E) r( I2 bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  y0 H. w1 `! @. w' zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 }; u6 v; _9 F* R0 ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ \7 _( P' n% p  T& fMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' X/ o2 d' |- Tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
: c( j% l9 J$ y
6 [2 \: R8 S% `2 B$ y2 }/ \' P0 RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 v7 F0 {  e& d# Y8 a9 o1 ZYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 t7 r) I9 Y# S# }! Z& ^7 ]* @without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 z% r. ^4 f- q/ D) T" qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
/ f( m# E. g- T& f8 w' S

/ q3 ?8 a  f4 MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ q8 P& ]  ^9 V9 k  ]# ONone required, unfortunately.
7 U0 c: Q$ t" w$ W+ dOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
7 I! l0 h( V# w! H$ _) S  }
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' ?9 z; @& R* x, n2 OGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 q/ I3 G7 p8 a7 m  Nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, z1 y; s& c1 x7 X6 P' Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 `. {4 q) s$ q; |! B5 x1 _BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: `  y" e, |! m& Lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

( r8 k$ ?' C5 K: kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; z0 ]/ t) y# `2 f
for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. k; a; v  a8 i8 o5 y2 Sletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  F5 u/ w8 t& uor forward with love
- z+ {0 Y! c+ {! C1 D/ T$ b) `3 Mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
* l5 N; C4 i$ a$ e

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.