Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ j! A. N' z+ C* m) G2 Z6 ICandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! v" d7 B& D, e: Q- lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 q: C9 F) x4 u# [$ b# B4 cTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) Y' S, g+ R) M( LExtensive courier duties also required.

9 O/ H$ |6 Y  {, b- J" m: ?& LRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) |: R. b/ u7 u8 k" AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. W/ r  V: I/ }* g0 Z, nuntil someone needs $5.
. X+ {* M8 K6 R! n# ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 y) \5 S  I8 U. ^7 |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( j; b9 M: ~7 Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 O1 R% p9 t2 `& Din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 {" ?# D% z+ B3 Q2 Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( M. H4 G% w7 o2 \2 d; Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 l% ^% \$ g& v" i2 }% fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- m$ u2 M: c! b: d, q5 O2 _$ T0 f( NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: x9 p0 N4 s4 u$ n  j6 d: Q& c" GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" h+ ^( m% \. xMust assume final, complete accountability for
4 f- h4 u; I$ b" Q7 I. W% @the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 E8 J! E" y& [* qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

$ P8 R, |/ ]4 ~; C/ z& D8 a9 @' EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# v+ Y* Q$ X* y* V, JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" K+ a: Z9 p, _9 r) Q- H" xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
5 o6 X1 \+ _+ j- U! Lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: M. h' M: T% |& y+ J6 b6 Ycan ultimately surpass you.
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: R; l3 U4 w9 C8 c+ P' Q* \% N+ [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& W, {- j; [. v3 x+ e9 ZNone required, unfortunately.
+ O+ b5 g8 s6 o. z3 wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, E: h( c; ?) f6 @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) Q" r! k0 _! o5 ]Get this! You pay them!
/ I' U; J1 I, }3 R0 p# `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 C# g5 F8 T0 K* K9 \2 j. Bof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( g$ w+ n' H' h- K9 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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  z9 B$ N. n  ^6 P% s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



9 |4 |5 f% s$ M# _% D. GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
0 P2 m6 [4 p; Z2 L, Zfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ p$ g& Q. S8 uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.