Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
$ _3 O9 n8 \5 q$ vDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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2 e8 ?# k, B% f7 d3 ]0 Q# {+ eJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
) I+ }% F+ F6 a, Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. @6 ?4 C9 c! DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 c2 w7 \# K+ P! ?1 b; fTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 v2 E* m5 U2 z: E- |2 i2 GExtensive courier duties also required.
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* K6 h" A9 \. N3 m. v; o6 bRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 o& q4 |1 _* K: z6 y+ i0 E  e9 _( h' _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ J; f/ Y! ~& g& O1 zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 c4 K( c+ M1 v" band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: [# w/ b( W: ?* {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# w+ O+ K$ K$ j! C' \& b" }5 hand stuck zippers.
' g% J* w$ b* SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 C" m) d6 w6 D) M+ |: mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# v) j& D& z! Z& y" {$ CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  z  D! {. n) {! i0 ^* ]an embarrassment the next.
! i# D" h) o$ s' tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. W* [5 k5 r+ l- o/ r4 lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, ~; b( w4 L0 L. k" rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 K0 [5 _* z6 B0 ^0 u7 B- xMust assume final, complete accountability for
% `$ [5 m, y) n/ p  gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 |" T) w; A( J' Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. H" ]0 P$ y( j7 |- q& TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
; a* f+ W: O8 B9 f& i! [  kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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0 P6 R+ m( _2 V' ~5 ]2 BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% q6 d' s% L: W& I4 a- j3 U1 L. n  sGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: D8 A( v- }5 ]; ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 X1 D6 \; A# u/ SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 S; e& e# [" C: G" W) E# _. _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 T5 ^* \0 z+ V# PBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
& h8 r7 t# Z$ f; r. eno stock options are offered,
$ m, {# ]  j: V: u5 o+ N  X% zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) y. N5 k, h; D6 Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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1 S8 N6 d  \/ l5 ]  m2 Nfor life if you play your cards right.

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  y! }8 W$ _% F, v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# g; z0 J6 }. U+ }4 S4 x" ?' Hletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.