Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ a  t+ g+ f- @7 H4 Z5 z6 B- fCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: t$ O  {& ?& Fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 e' \8 E5 v% V1 kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" L8 S$ _8 B& V8 n2 |2 l" mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: ]0 s5 I4 N* b' x4 aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
8 f1 W6 S6 \( {. P4 _Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ T# @6 m. G, J% i& H0 e6 |until someone needs $5.
) b/ D7 i( I/ I& N! PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
/ Y: [! B8 h& Z. e6 e5 Y; d* ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- `! |9 ?4 j* Fand stuck zippers.
3 z+ ?. N/ p5 p' K. DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& G: p2 x( [% p( }6 f& ]" X! E$ jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. `. P' H" e: L1 e" MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 v6 |# L7 q! N! ?" dan embarrassment the next.
' }! }9 u% Z% ?$ c" ~8 TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 `3 u+ z; ^4 X1 i- W: A* `6 b( YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 f) p1 l' i! l& s' I4 xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
3 C# ]  v3 r# z7 U0 @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% W, M+ }4 }9 C$ _0 a9 Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 x1 q7 `3 ]. B% B2 l0 ~can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: j: W$ M/ ]0 f7 ]Get this! You pay them!
4 }* g9 b8 B' ]- x) G6 JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
' n$ V$ f' C9 V" |become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
: h$ p! W7 H: r$ D: R- s' qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

1 c* Z3 n2 s2 F( hBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# R+ R2 i- P+ o+ z" L. Sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" w7 L/ N( i/ M' @3 T( E$ Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( t# H4 I5 h( V( Z4 ^' a+ z
9 y9 {5 V- u0 M; wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

6 Z/ K( l+ G: H' r3 |# a0 |1 o' ~for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 E5 s$ t$ C, R# m3 Pletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( o) M& I" c- D8 J# e; x$ Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.