Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 I" ^4 |% e$ e8 r. oDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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# u! a5 X; V: `" A0 uJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 Q1 ]; v2 o* U& ^Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) b5 Y. t3 y- N: d5 D3 E" l) e7 Q* Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 e% O  ~% [3 b1 N6 F2 A9 h, ?4 j$ _Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, F" p, ?/ H2 {8 }' e$ Z7 Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# M0 r* L+ o) q9 y* C1 k! UExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" a$ f" E7 i( [1 lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ C/ \# G4 z4 U# \until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  e5 E- d& L* G! {7 y$ z" ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" L$ c; v) A5 s' I9 A4 U* gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; J; f' x# C' b5 Z, lin case, this time, the screams from
8 O6 W" g. K  a+ \" @4 F" |5 rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; ^/ i/ m! i! a7 x' I5 zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
- b" [% d7 p0 K7 i1 gMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ l5 |) n; M$ n2 _7 \coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ ]1 w& |+ ]9 G  YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 c7 |. g$ a, D# ean embarrassment the next.
3 L3 Y* m9 X5 xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% \6 Q. N( K, bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' _' X* z9 ^0 u, d/ a8 g3 [+ ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ M$ Y% l, r6 c: k+ {8 rMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% Z0 Z( C: V$ o+ q7 Z* k! I* N9 QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

* O2 c' d1 j/ |% L% H5 k- vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
; `$ Y5 ?; `& \updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ c% P6 c' n7 `! kcan ultimately surpass you.
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* s% W. Y# _0 T% N$ ~1 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; H( ]4 O) N5 t8 g4 V! ANone required, unfortunately.
8 W% J  }) }7 V) `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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" C5 ^7 }/ f; Z1 N% c) ?2 B4 W9 [. JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
" V5 N9 b( o* k) H4 ?% ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) ~- _7 t, N" i9 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 d1 ]1 P8 N6 N  rWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 Y0 N( p1 a  s5 V2 I0 jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 U1 {4 s9 S% W2 w# Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- [, \' V% o; H# Z$ L, j, ?
0 W3 J- `0 ]1 ?4 K5 zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
% x0 I( H2 w$ l7 o6 _$ F( I& ?
for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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6 t6 \2 W6 _! s( s6 }# i/ ~/ y" V
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 N0 ~! s) I% u, _% C2 Bletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  k. p4 i3 P) v1 F9 wor forward with love
' E% f% ?+ s3 Y+ z: kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.