Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 W' Y# R( R$ M. y, o& i* \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 d  d* @( E# ?) l' f- P8 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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6 o' r& `+ ~6 H' J, QJOB DESCRIPTION:
  Y3 @5 u+ q! _6 W* M' rLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* U! [7 v& V: w, _( q+ k; h/ O; A1 tand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 U& Y% w2 [8 ]# |/ @& ^2 Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. X; P; {, C& G9 N5 U2 y  Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 e+ b- S- }4 L& F5 A+ dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' X+ e! L9 Q, T9 N) K$ H7 ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
. E6 L/ k) i  w" u2 p# rThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. d4 }7 T+ p4 ]( wMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& d4 _; Y4 h' {4 S2 C2 Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% U6 H5 I  f8 q  `; y8 V8 T1 |7 yin case, this time, the screams from
3 g8 U; q# R/ dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. z8 d" A$ u; u- w% C8 ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 X. i. U9 z) c% L2 r+ NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 ~5 e. f) Q- v7 b+ jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 ?3 n! \- J8 A" YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 z: L* R7 l* O9 jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& z  k5 e$ L! N& |7 yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ ]  a8 h8 ^8 N- M) BMust assume final, complete accountability for
/ y6 I$ ?0 ]( p( j8 c1 Mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( e8 ~3 {( L: ]" l  _$ Z# q8 o/ |$ c# b$ Wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; j$ @6 L& t5 ]6 BYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
, G: _1 x9 Z! ~$ Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ v/ {. _  a  ~* Ecan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- Q! G# L, x0 {+ o! q1 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& b3 d& F0 e3 U. y1 R3 }become financially independent.
; X6 z1 n+ N) T) F* ~7 EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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, x( @: ?, e+ B$ C( V) S! WBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. f/ v# b- J' |, |5 M/ ~' S/ rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.