 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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2 I. J0 ~7 b3 _2 }0 yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma * D# q2 K6 w( h/ p, Q, G) d
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa* ]8 f( E( g ~9 m% E: v
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4 E' Y' c, K" ~JOB DESCRIPTION:8 D+ V" x; c2 g1 w& N' `
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. ; `# q$ K5 E1 k, A% U$ \
Candidates must possess excellent communication
r1 p* C) w1 d0 I& w, zand organizational skills and be willing to work
2 K4 Z- N+ y Y$ B) i, t; H- _variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends & b# J) F8 S6 I( ~( x) I! ?
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! b/ V" Y( f, g) PSome overnight travel required, including trips to & \" }- X, v4 |& Z0 ]. J
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and . e1 D8 t; l' @# y/ ], f: s9 h
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! ' T7 E2 `# ~2 i! ]7 P/ E
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* t$ @/ Y/ @4 h9 B' l6 pExtensive courier duties also required. C. Q6 B, _# b: I, z8 C2 \* v
# k4 _7 x% \9 T; ]8 aRESPONSIBILITIES:2 x" t, i" g* T5 t P) E; T, m- `
The rest of your life. & Z0 y& N, y% X' |3 z5 [, ]
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 ?1 x# D% ]* _6 {$ T; |until someone needs $5. 6 A( f6 O9 m& R# X
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 L, u4 S ]6 v# H+ zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ( F5 N$ W/ ^- w6 t: H" K* e
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 4 }# ]9 r1 q1 ^6 E. u8 o2 R& E
in case, this time, the screams from " z. S. m2 \* I* u$ y
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. # s4 C* }+ z9 F( v$ a" M
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, # ?- T9 V6 P# ]' J
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: m. B6 T- B1 ?5 E( J9 K% }; Wand stuck zippers. / E/ P3 H- L6 }- H7 a, o
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( L% u: ~: y2 [6 b0 vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. - [* W7 z: @: t% n( _
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. . g2 U# z0 n* J7 |2 P, p' c" ]
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, * J. \ f, _% i
an embarrassment the next.
, X7 d/ ^* h" t% m8 |/ `0 N- sMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a 8 U. m9 ~, Y' t3 a8 U+ e5 B" C1 J
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( r4 ?. m0 N6 O P8 iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- H2 s; p) c5 f5 \# ^7 `* hMust assume final, complete accountability for
# ^3 A( |8 S) x* Pthe quality of the end product.
# Y. x0 s, O o) m ?+ x6 wResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" \& `5 n; L; hjanitorial work throughout the facility. " }8 q5 E* n; {/ ~( N% r: C7 i
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% W" z. O0 o! z, M3 G* KNone. ; m- f& h; H6 y8 F0 T
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, % n3 ?5 d- U i5 _
without complaining,constantly retraining and
V5 C3 ~. C' }2 Y7 ^" H; nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 9 D6 K0 s- r* g$ \
can ultimately surpass you.4 ~" ]9 ^9 c& U* F3 S+ d3 p
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5 O# U! J6 |0 qPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: - ?5 G) O |2 [4 \& P
None required, unfortunately.
! Q4 g8 C9 z: R. h6 h* hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 7 Y2 U8 x# p. M8 T
0 f! G. P, ]7 T- U0 b! yWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 1 J" H y& q: e& C( h: k6 x
Get this! You pay them! 6 S1 [6 Y9 Q" T |
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
\$ o" E" x# f; W- Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because # E( P2 U0 G/ y# C/ o; C
of the assumption that college will help them ( w+ N- E# A6 [0 e- c+ m
become financially independent.
8 _ q' E" f7 DWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
- R9 m" N& E2 K' `0 g- i1 [The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 Z) C: i) S; q' pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. $ b# k3 A$ i! d# v% C
& A- H$ D; W! O, T4 u+ LBENEFITS:
, M6 S7 j% ^3 e; yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ) A+ J. `2 m+ \# y f5 U
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 k: [) V! e9 H5 t+ q. b1 `( m& n; C+ Y- Kno stock options are offered,
0 \. ]* L6 x6 `; g1 \9 Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, . x b$ ~9 X I- b7 a
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 @/ `3 K& Z( t4 e+ Q/ h; ?1 b9 yfor life if you play your cards right.4 H! c& x7 N* [* g% a% d/ I
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **8 K5 x! ?6 I L" l" t3 a7 k& N+ e
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# V- n4 m l* e* JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ) q K( r' M+ c: B! L' _2 m2 U3 H
letting them know they are appreciated
# D/ }4 R- `/ O, H$ b: n/ u* @for the fabulous job they do...
$ k9 p6 \! L' ]+ }) yor forward with love / _, d& H- H- L* q0 I# K
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
