Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ s: _8 N7 A( V( _' `/ rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ U- g9 U- Q& b: v3 @  s; y. ZJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 ^4 _2 q4 F; V% D4 {9 kCandidates must possess excellent communication
: D& f/ {: k: B. r: \  U3 Xand organizational skills and be willing to work
! r1 m* x8 H/ o  Fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* d& R, P/ m: w+ B, Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 A6 \: Q0 Y- ]Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  O! @4 B9 e, Z0 Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ Q0 f8 p# n2 m: ?. w: y+ cTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 R* X" \/ _9 B* Z1 t; HExtensive courier duties also required.
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) u0 c5 k  k* Y6 D) ?RESPONSIBILITIES:
) A  T4 A$ N9 |& h8 tThe rest of your life.
+ ~! U: b% \) ]! hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ C" w, X5 p3 C9 kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  R3 |4 t$ K: a$ s$ `' S7 dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 _# D% [" |5 xin case, this time, the screams from
8 W' L, b! |' Y0 S* p+ U& d  V$ Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ ?% B$ U+ J+ b3 yMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( o% p8 L8 D# A/ H( M2 ~3 J! oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ T" Z; L" O9 H7 }& vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! o7 K* X6 C1 J5 i& TMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" D' l( \/ q* C8 g6 NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 Q4 n/ Y! N- a2 m" r- yNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* R4 i- F! x& h7 `2 e& Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* ^( |7 j- e( S2 Y3 wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# Z4 i2 s* M7 A; E+ V9 v' VNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( O0 ^, }3 U) |/ i' AGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( j4 f' Z% Z3 h. \6 pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
8 f) m( Q" S$ e. ^& P; GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) O. T7 B% E# l2 X7 f& D# wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
- S- i* E1 S  M: g" z: rWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

& e0 |# \& \9 xfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
1 L, n5 k4 y4 _9 Z' q, ^! nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.