Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- D$ e1 V0 v2 q7 _; MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) d6 }5 i" P+ PDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


' m# B: m3 M( b0 _6 v8 BJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* |" `5 [5 i; \6 K0 T( R, pCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
5 t9 W! ]# j5 h; `2 @1 h* M8 N$ Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 O1 v4 Q* g, J* V4 P( g) KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
! L! h3 p% I' H' S. B& DExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 v" p6 {6 i: o# t7 fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- L9 v% K! \( V' X' @9 X( }until someone needs $5.
8 i- l3 ?+ q, z3 |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 G) `! L! A# r& [9 wAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 M4 B9 }: m8 X8 V  w/ x6 nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( k* Y1 q  _( S7 min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: I; o2 Y3 U& B$ z% D: zand stuck zippers.
; w$ w8 H4 q/ B# P0 K. K2 s* @/ l( IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' \( u4 l8 ~" qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 r9 f# \' ]% ~: A/ C, |; O6 JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) T! C5 E. r: j# }" dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" x6 C6 b$ L! F, Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. F( U8 ], p5 K; _' m4 y% \9 gMust assume final, complete accountability for
- t: T2 l( n7 F$ ^' D; cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" w- R/ W0 L% hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. P( y5 A* i' {6 m3 LNone.
/ e5 p; Z7 ]; C( m* t0 [, x, t% pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
# I# k& \0 e5 Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  |( p- |/ J$ k0 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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3 i: Z( p3 `1 T2 w4 CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 H  A; c# ]  z5 \None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: x) d' A- G( N  N! G( v- j8 dGet this! You pay them!
; A. }; B1 |3 S' V6 d2 ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
  u: [, A# M7 n7 MWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- {/ ~) e' a- j5 d. N9 Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( o! _4 D& n+ H- mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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7 f/ {6 F$ [" V# \# n1 Munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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6 W* ?/ Y7 E9 _3 s; Q- H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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  E! }6 ~; E( oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 ^; s1 g$ h6 F  G  ^letting them know they are appreciated
4 w" ]6 w3 v( }: K. w, ffor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.