Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ p- M! I4 P- b( _0 [

JOB DESCRIPTION:
  ?+ o0 s/ p# x( ALong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 r- F+ k# u/ Y3 h! r; kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! M+ D6 G* X$ }% y* A" a( qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# C$ K+ ]) h( O( o2 N4 N3 `. ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
: K" M, X2 ~  r9 e$ EThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- r$ `. P# p3 S8 }7 Wuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 D/ H3 y/ ^2 L( {8 Vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: Z6 R6 H" n  A% m! eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. ~# S# C' q2 {+ c7 d( ]5 @such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ `' Z% H. z1 e4 dand stuck zippers.
# y; N/ k5 r3 @& j' _# u; |% e- G* vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. A6 B, G  f% r2 H3 e* x; S, K; wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- N  E, c7 d8 PMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- C4 }/ p/ [8 ?7 m+ e) b  Y7 PMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# b3 s- e- w0 x7 |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 [; Y$ Y: i5 c. mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
" |9 _, J8 _# c8 @2 n* T

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! Z8 t- v2 ?6 q6 x4 m% x6 v+ t  p3 s; {) SNone required, unfortunately.
7 f- R4 x* x$ T5 F2 F1 q6 ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 d0 D9 C+ e) A9 O6 A* NGet this! You pay them!
/ z% s6 U2 L: e( y9 e, OOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 n  X# X3 M5 GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: t' L. n# ?, E- g6 @8 N& G  B' G+ ]% Q, yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 |1 V/ `5 t1 H5 ?2 ^8 p; lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
; R; M3 _, @1 r8 q* `( |% S2 y
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* S4 E8 @% r+ ~$ [+ h4 y& kno stock options are offered,
3 G" i5 E/ }8 h1 ~8 n7 M9 k* dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

4 h$ ~# p- E6 I4 x2 y. k' b& Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
" E6 M4 q+ i6 X0 G- P
for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

* h' _& G; E1 N% R2 C, f5 _, G
9 V+ H1 Z' z) ^9 Z3 ?0 O* v+ K/ u( k
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 v* i8 [8 o3 n7 k' }+ [letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
0 z+ u0 J" G5 t5 [6 b4 P7 @

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.