Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 M4 l' T" j& Q+ p9 r& HMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- o- f0 N! w8 _- K; r$ X& ?) xDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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7 T1 m$ R2 d/ \JOB DESCRIPTION:
% W- [5 F0 h* O, H, kLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 B4 {8 f. Y# E4 h: O3 SCandidates must possess excellent communication
& g3 P3 I+ _6 u5 Band organizational skills and be willing to work
6 C8 a. F/ C" o1 B. P$ Xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 y, h' V; L  L4 B5 l) M% G5 A' nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! t* B& q2 Z0 b3 wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' P+ U, r3 O0 ?! n$ R* a5 e+ ?3 qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 s9 O8 o* B: L1 x1 Q8 |& STravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 @4 w7 k' ^- r; v, ?3 SExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% z+ \0 M" q1 T8 T4 x# yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- Z7 G9 ~/ G8 C0 g4 g0 _; M9 \Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
, s; e( ~3 `2 q7 x& u$ pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' r( e3 L, t- p  X: e7 n, ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' h$ v: f+ D+ |and stuck zippers.
( T; x3 Z% d  i& vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- c  R/ z- M0 x; Ran embarrassment the next.
- \% K2 a0 w& ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- s3 x" G. Y! |2 X: F4 IMust assume final, complete accountability for
: e* V' c2 r: Z3 X- w9 F. Ythe quality of the end product.
3 m7 J: _. |7 {7 A& xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

( q6 E0 o  @" \: p7 IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  x" e/ {# a" E% t6 V1 i; _None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) J4 _! J& t$ I8 q# Jcan ultimately surpass you.
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/ o7 r% j% Q: c$ Z2 o3 XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& W2 b7 i5 F' H4 D& xNone required, unfortunately.
' {) h1 Q3 g, G( {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& F# |- G# q! }* s* D2 @0 `WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% L# T- v% d! j  ~" q! B" A: a( }Get this! You pay them!
  h% [; _/ s/ e7 h+ H1 h! sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 v: t; `: m; y3 ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) P9 j% k7 d+ C+ p6 ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. g5 l! M* {' b- k5 G5 I8 fBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! M# z: R: x% L5 ^. t% V& Xno stock options are offered,
. X, m# u8 O) p, Qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( [; V8 ]2 X: s: C( ]: C$ k
9 Z4 v8 d* Y' o- b+ @for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- ?) u9 l( o1 P! {- N, e5 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 d, @8 W, c$ r; W( X* m; K7 dletting them know they are appreciated
' Y  e& B: v2 B( w( Xfor the fabulous job they do...
  [/ d2 m! K' p, N; h/ z. V; x+ Wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.