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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:$ ?7 S1 p  Z7 a( L2 z
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 6 s2 G8 [8 D$ N' k$ @7 p# y. D
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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" ^$ A9 F- Q" y4 T) q# B3 TJOB DESCRIPTION:
. |6 }0 u: T' }* G3 H8 S6 \Long term, team players needed for challenging,8 T5 X* p& [* _
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 [! v7 [& c8 eCandidates must possess excellent communication
  ]' v5 r; H8 V+ ]5 [and organizational skills and be willing to work 5 X9 r" q2 N: L! D: w) \0 v
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends # u- f8 a  u; Y- d- c! c" t
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ) i' f2 Y, P6 e5 \0 z* D& {
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. n, N0 [# T  b) @& k% _5 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ) P% I3 ]' R3 ]- k' B$ B6 W
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! # K) u8 G+ f+ a# J$ X# J
Travel expenses not reimbursed. - X) v$ Z8 q# ?' f. u5 i6 `! |
Extensive courier duties also required. ; E( H& ^+ c0 N) Y$ v& `
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RESPONSIBILITIES:# e3 v0 A- G* a4 C
The rest of your life. + V. o0 e) s( @, g1 B
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 s, g% R9 v" H& W0 Y- yuntil someone needs $5. 2 h5 s. R/ A( J6 @. }
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ @2 N, t9 E/ x' k0 `Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule . D& p3 O! I) |, {% _- U0 X
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 7 X& A/ [0 b4 G8 n, z
in case, this time, the screams from
! Y* r7 F; O6 f* k9 z3 P* c4 ^" Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ! I+ G. O1 h/ B9 k* H1 N. S! W
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* ^% v  B( z2 ?8 csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 5 l$ `2 q- N6 F, K2 m" a. @
and stuck zippers.
* X! x  g  {) B% y6 w5 GMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* `5 P, v( u1 [5 kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" t; p. V2 L$ ^( c% E4 ]9 O4 a0 u. lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! r0 s, g/ u1 t% d# A% KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, , ^6 N! [, Q% @
an embarrassment the next.
- p9 A: X# U& K4 k5 LMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 g. W. M! i# R6 x/ i6 ~0 Vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  E( I  L' Q. `7 t* VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 9 d5 d0 M$ W( L" j: Z7 L1 c
Must assume final, complete accountability for : D, e, F/ x* t
the quality of the end product. ' B, k" J+ F9 A* t
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and   p7 _5 e# d! v+ ?0 s0 T
janitorial work  throughout the facility. 1 _( [# w6 N7 |5 t1 N' M2 ?! r  ?

5 f" t+ ^* H. J  IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:1 ~7 b( c1 {+ x' j+ v
None. ( Q; L9 ?2 y: p; `$ C1 {
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, - A' }: n$ j5 w/ v6 z8 U
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  s- \: e& ~7 F0 S5 `updating your skills, so that those in your charge , k$ [" H4 S4 ^; V1 C4 L, p; t' Y
can ultimately surpass you.. ?! _) |8 [7 w& z7 i

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3 N- o* A* n" s" `5 M+ _1 D4 YPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# e# Z, ?* R% `8 e. A1 I% oNone required, unfortunately.
5 o& r% F! O0 |! u3 X; p5 p* TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) g, F- n# q2 {1 |7 oGet this! You pay them!
  ?* G) i3 N, pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 d; M: o) s4 \% ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& ~8 t8 f  Q9 E" Qof the assumption that college will help them $ y- ^6 k" F& P  [3 t6 r, ]. ^
become financially independent.
; ?! o" R: u% |6 @; ~When you die, you give them whatever is left. ( H0 t$ F% x" P; _  g
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 j, B/ C* g: s: N" eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 8 P. H: h) Q' I/ ^$ S: w8 C( N5 u7 Y
/ S, q+ b3 i4 L
BENEFITS: / u: [/ n1 A/ J8 L
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 6 C' F( E7 k' ?# s1 x* w0 j  x
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ! O4 L8 [, e. C8 u" t& d- u
no stock options are offered,. c1 R4 v, O1 h; @  K7 \
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ! }6 s( J8 b. u. ^

, l: l( h1 A- Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ) _% A+ i: C  ^' I0 b

; u0 Z: r: M* c3 `: jfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **" M8 N, n4 g( s" G( _
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5 v. X0 I2 E9 \( y- `4 ]Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, $ Y2 Q0 f8 E5 f; R
letting them know they are appreciated
0 p% V( Q. E  ^( j- g6 V! gfor the fabulous job they do...
2 e$ Z: h( q% x6 [9 g7 C* Nor forward with love
. Z# ]) T$ w9 c6 G+ |) Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.5 N- d+ S/ J6 W: V; f
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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