Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 D( j' O% i/ m# e3 BMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
% _* c9 S1 O: T6 n, b* }9 M
2 V1 S" p. P5 d0 d; `: a' apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  P3 ~+ d0 W( ~! O8 k2 vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 `# W2 s- p1 O9 g! }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 |$ }- q% |& r6 I, O  Z9 F; s+ ?, K2 Aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 V' ?) n, r4 q/ g& J- e' ~Extensive courier duties also required.
2 {2 }5 U9 ?" ?* ~# r1 P% k* j
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 o, G2 {7 C0 {until someone needs $5.
  H( S7 x# G% y4 N+ FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 {) ~% w( x6 i- s! c$ h0 kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
7 h+ V; l6 w" I2 I2 Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) u1 H- R4 I9 Q: F: f8 c# XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' V9 A. `4 }& `1 V  y9 v- ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% c) B) G& i; h" MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! m/ S4 l' P. b8 H# {& w3 o9 _Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 r2 u) q1 ]- p6 q+ \+ Lthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 ~/ z3 N6 d7 l4 H* {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 T& s- w8 G( ?; |None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
! S; X3 _* y% w' _. r$ @. G/ pcan ultimately surpass you.
4 X+ a: F# ~) w7 p1 L

. C3 @0 Y) @% T2 w2 u5 ~7 L4 w! XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; L/ z% z# B4 z- r1 V1 D" H/ V$ tNone required, unfortunately.
& g: R" A2 b0 ^- B/ u1 @7 EOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
  m  _$ Z' G7 g, U/ N5 m
8 I9 D0 x5 A/ mWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
  K, T( r# ^- p4 G0 i( q; TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
/ y+ p) x" v/ V8 ?* G( g' jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
$ f4 s5 \* J  H. X* lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

9 C( }2 w  C7 m1 `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 p. h4 t/ Z, r7 ~, ~
, M( t! h0 r( M9 M% h1 p8 u' Efor life if you play your cards right.
( z5 H# V/ o) Y' H; N& K
$ L! n+ b) E5 ~: l4 G
- G4 Y* T7 U# V' @! D0 K7 f2 `
1 X# f5 n1 r: @$ y4 Y, o
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

" f) f% T9 F2 o8 d/ |

; r2 W" v1 {& }& c3 ~0 b9 qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
3 V" J1 H9 C; M2 [% J; I- F9 x9 ~
6 ?3 ?( F; p9 ]) b' U% U; l

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.