Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  a5 u0 B9 z* D0 @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

2 o; |, I; f* S. h# Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 V: k1 X' j4 S% A5 l$ Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 L9 q; E& q7 n6 wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% ~% x# g" [: D# E% OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 [8 s* Q. m0 `% d) wExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' c+ _( ^" l% ^4 }' AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
! {( \# x3 v& c# \* f9 eMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ I# ~5 D. j: {1 }in case, this time, the screams from
, \' K0 N0 S- j5 Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 r$ _& U* R: u8 A: I, zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* q2 @) u$ }! y5 Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' j( L8 W3 B5 M8 gan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' b- S" I/ b6 x- thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 C) p( w) j8 m' B+ z4 A) nthe quality of the end product.
5 ?+ k! W- [3 T; @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

7 i, W* Z. J  q: M5 H3 OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: M/ M; T$ _7 }) E2 K7 bNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 m- D0 s+ N1 m) b4 bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, }4 y. G' Z! d! D6 F, d. vcan ultimately surpass you.


: V9 j7 B- B  [. t' c. J8 {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ C- o7 G- n- S$ P7 f! mNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) n. C' f9 s1 K, c4 XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 U( N$ l; b6 p( v6 P/ n, ]- [# EGet this! You pay them!
+ b1 U0 h2 o5 M# |1 T. R. O# rOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; u$ j! t' G5 Z: s" ?3 Eof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 e/ k& N. j" G4 A! c. G( x  jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( N9 U% D) y8 T" i# _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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) f2 Y8 ?, a# b/ j, f8 P7 D8 BBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) ]# Y; f  \  X/ Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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1 y6 d5 Y- C: J/ j. k8 D& h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 n& @  A! ]5 d7 d4 Rletting them know they are appreciated
4 _3 P+ V& m: lfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.