Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; v/ _- J- e6 v% l9 C1 s# G% fDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 r& O7 I9 ^8 ~, g. KJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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- Y. r: J/ `9 i0 J$ hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( O/ o/ O  j: N; e+ c8 h2 c7 mCandidates must possess excellent communication
1 l  j% X- T: l% c5 ?" n8 K$ n1 gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# Q$ E! g  [+ Oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# L. ]# N# R! p& nSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

" k; F/ R; K8 e0 d8 TRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
: k/ ?+ C& }) g3 }* b7 w: HMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ M$ [+ \$ o! j5 F2 c, a) J! quntil someone needs $5.
. w& d! z" ^- d# f2 o: a0 CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
7 E9 T- a+ q/ c; U. m: H0 RAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ \. X+ d: i- L. T) ~& v. Win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 Y, y0 |8 V+ W  |# ]! Yand stuck zippers.
$ i# p( T  a. ~& PMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ D9 O! y! A, P, e  ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; `2 C9 R+ _: X! M* e: vMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ n. B. d! W( B7 O7 b/ i6 L! S$ Mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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# |9 Q" e* x$ ]2 Q2 wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; L' ]" T! u9 Z! XNone.
4 L1 `0 H  O) k3 o. m' D: Q) zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 M/ G  U7 F9 \; g. O8 uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
( Y% t( `0 p7 H% \" N- }- \updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 }* x$ V7 X$ x/ W3 ?None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
: s) @# E8 F5 v4 i: q0 _$ JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 j; {( `' R! E. @0 x* q: ]& d$ Ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
+ t* e2 E  t& J+ e# p4 fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ c; O- j( o( N5 R3 o% hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& R! Q0 ~6 A5 R5 _6 T$ T! w8 N1 lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. Z% G* t4 @: o& ^$ t9 a- ]) xno stock options are offered,
2 P. J7 P  D* r) Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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1 ~1 ^: C, X* q% t! ^3 hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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, i( ?$ T9 d* d: qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ M& w5 u: d! H8 q* j% g3 ]letting them know they are appreciated
7 F* d% W$ b% ]# h% yfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# Z% O- D' l1 ^' s- wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.