Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" ^$ A9 F- Q" y4 T) q# B3 TJOB DESCRIPTION:
. |6 }0 u: T' }* G3 H8 S6 \Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 [! v7 [& c8 eCandidates must possess excellent communication
  ]' v5 r; H8 V+ ]5 [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. n, N0 [# T  b) @& k% _5 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 s, g% R9 v" H& W0 Y- yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ @2 N, t9 E/ x' k0 `Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
! Y* r7 F; O6 f* k9 z3 P* c4 ^" Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* ^% v  B( z2 ?8 csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* X! x  g  {) B% y6 w5 GMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* `5 P, v( u1 [5 kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" t; p. V2 L$ ^( c% E4 ]9 O4 a0 u. lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! r0 s, g/ u1 t% d# A% KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- p9 A: X# U& K4 k5 LMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 g. W. M! i# R6 x/ i6 ~0 Vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  E( I  L' Q. `7 t* VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 f" t+ ^* H. J  IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  s- \: e& ~7 F0 S5 `updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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3 N- o* A* n" s" `5 M+ _1 D4 YPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# e# Z, ?* R% `8 e. A1 I% oNone required, unfortunately.
5 o& r% F! O0 |! u3 X; p5 p* TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
( u' ?% J* e* x6 \
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) g, F- n# q2 {1 |7 oGet this! You pay them!
  ?* G) i3 N, pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 d; M: o) s4 \% ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& ~8 t8 f  Q9 E" Qof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
; ?! o" R: u% |6 @; ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 j, B/ C* g: s: N" eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

, l: l( h1 A- Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

; u0 Z: r: M* c3 `: jfor life if you play your cards right.
7 N3 G- v3 m+ h. u* m% H" P/ j
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



5 v. X0 I2 E9 \( y- `4 ]Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
0 p% V( Q. E  ^( j- g6 V! gfor the fabulous job they do...
2 e$ Z: h( q% x6 [9 g7 C* Nor forward with love
. Z# ]) T$ w9 c6 G+ |) Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.