Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
$ a& d7 j* s* C4 }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 @/ s# e' x8 ]- X+ hLong term, team players needed for challenging,

; W! M: q+ s9 Z* t3 E7 D; g& v/ V; Tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
$ M  {$ h7 W% I' W$ t; W( k; _and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- Z' \7 e# [* [* f; rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& u; {* C1 A; y! iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' v8 l( A) }; l& w# U! i4 @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ @2 J7 T, x) H5 d+ [% t& HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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$ w+ s8 J: ~4 N4 M$ s* C/ fRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
( x1 E0 s1 j  ?. Q. lMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 ^! ]2 O+ Z, n; ]Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 w1 Y4 L9 u9 `3 W+ a# ~! ~, r9 Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: F! W1 [5 V; L/ v0 L+ u) uin case, this time, the screams from
3 D  }8 k2 \- g3 P% ]( \the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 _& |) p9 w  o& f. ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& S$ B2 A7 k2 E1 Dan embarrassment the next.
; y+ ]. f( u$ w- s2 |+ t/ ?Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! a% f6 q( E; f, s2 r$ ?/ L# shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% n$ f2 r: _# Z5 [Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ p! n7 }$ h5 P8 i+ Qthe quality of the end product.
+ g; ?4 \  \4 k$ i, v9 k; rResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: H- a$ \$ ]. k+ c7 N' ?None.
7 X  E! \& S- dYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. \4 s% [' O& R/ M( Bcan ultimately surpass you.
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; u) D& A9 }# }3 {+ C" f  LPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" ^$ K- Z+ Z5 K4 h+ z6 `' G3 zNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 t9 e8 X' X7 Z) |4 {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ z" x. `% A4 z9 Q6 g: EGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  {) m0 D9 i" q% `! |) Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 R/ S, Z% u8 D) i+ zof the assumption that college will help them
: w: z0 p. d7 X# X" O2 G: u5 W* gbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 W# y1 |  p( i# L1 EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. U8 s9 s, M& o. R3 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* E5 ^* w1 M) X  q/ u) Ano stock options are offered,
# `) D# k, \6 j$ t1 Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 i' e5 i) E8 O. P: y
( U. F4 P+ K1 zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( |$ W7 }$ R' j) W# M: Y9 Ofor life if you play your cards right.

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% o0 g. _9 X$ D8 _* H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



6 e3 W7 n8 E  [  |1 a. qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
; k. {' o! c; B5 l) y  ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.