Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) \" Z3 o$ O% n, R/ f% X: F8 H# _Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 l2 Y0 E+ n# w0 d; |Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
) v% k9 B' }3 U: W! V; _3 {& [+ JLong term, team players needed for challenging,

" D5 D! i# c$ v* f. X  Q  [7 Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  |- m. U  `: I+ u3 K/ s+ b3 K: x, I; qCandidates must possess excellent communication
( z) {  g2 m! Sand organizational skills and be willing to work
/ f4 K" u6 ?2 U7 n7 l: [" D8 Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# d- c, U1 `* y  @8 b: ^  MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 R8 N* o7 O  c0 |' Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

- z4 p' X: P. A3 PRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 s% S& Z; v9 Z& SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 u' e# n! j2 B4 cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. I# g/ E9 H5 O/ g5 O7 P/ xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! y4 l4 I" a/ Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" G* r& G: F9 P! Bin case, this time, the screams from
- j& k& I! X9 G4 R3 s; @, Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 Q1 ]* `, J; b) u2 v9 y' `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: M+ o7 L# t( u  O8 land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" v$ M4 y7 F/ g* i( Q: Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ K7 e6 ^- D% U9 ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ H& U/ l8 g. q' A  k( d) a$ U5 \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& F3 d2 {8 i3 P# ^$ can embarrassment the next.
7 E! c+ L( h* DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 ]- F/ e. o0 b( Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! ?. ~, S% B' i$ S. A  uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
% C, J+ F+ y, j. F; Jthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 S: N7 L; K, a7 HPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
0 M; |& K, d9 k) v5 O/ B) fYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ {5 u. }% W3 K2 F. uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- M/ N) p# J8 a- ^, K1 {) ccan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ d- [6 D4 R3 ]% @. ~9 nNone required, unfortunately.
) j+ X2 Q& u/ S3 pOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 Q  u  @3 Y& c7 A- hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 @3 M* u( V3 H  M1 ?Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! ~$ A( c; I8 e. U' wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  m8 G& r7 h9 S: f( ]! t2 wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 J$ d5 X8 b8 I" v+ v* Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 x. r! z% i0 w; p. _6 c' A  }: i& vno stock options are offered,
) K2 ~2 M, @1 I& Cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, H" \2 R+ _  w; b! j/ D
4 O3 H( w" z) I) Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

+ M, @+ `* {5 g" `& Ufor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; n. Z* W8 z8 e  ?4 Tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
' ^2 W) }' k& i" C# Gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
& f% w' Q7 @  o2 }9 m0 |( T9 G: \: e

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.