Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ @. \" \( s  lLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ T3 F5 f0 p4 e2 J! l; _. H% Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, T: j3 `+ Y& |# O" k$ tCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 k  ]' h. V  m5 T( a7 FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" j% b2 r, T: h7 w; q5 j* k  B; Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 B5 K& \$ L8 oTravel expenses not reimbursed.
+ \2 D0 ?! h9 xExtensive courier duties also required.
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4 }0 N  w# t/ [6 SRESPONSIBILITIES:
7 l5 O& v/ R1 f2 m' [2 N) CThe rest of your life.
3 N, E$ p$ T, ]) bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; t/ G  m8 U4 J. J5 b4 funtil someone needs $5.
( L. r/ B4 k, N# c$ JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 S; a1 W' l, gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
8 C1 p% h1 v# l* MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ Z# A) y9 o( x7 E, Wan embarrassment the next.
: F9 [& }, B0 d3 U* tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* X3 m2 n: J" r3 h; V6 whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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5 z5 w8 Z  _) X* u( ~! G6 ?6 m4 }POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 z( M: x% c( lNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; O  U/ X* e2 u& W7 cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 I# L  T1 g4 K  tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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+ _& n( c4 d8 v. YPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- v; _& ]6 @+ `6 F% DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 g5 R7 o& z* w) d- b2 Z7 x* ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 Q2 M# K% q! f1 @) V# NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' Q% Q8 L9 S! ?+ k, o9 y6 u( B9 b) yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ R& Y( [+ f$ \- x" {no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
7 T, t4 F+ t+ j/ U2 q. ?; C3 `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* R" l9 Y6 o2 _; P$ P7 d, O1 T* y% O! Hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

+ l+ }! \. W8 sfor life if you play your cards right.
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1 Y, Z. T1 H" z$ S! A** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
( ^8 N& P& G5 J, T4 }% u2 Dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.