Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' b8 U3 c5 _8 s8 m8 P7 [( J  |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& l  i7 ]5 \' ^) n- IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 W5 T# z0 {- r# h0 zLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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6 f- W6 V, j- t1 ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* r, ?# E" V; {6 ?  e# r7 Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ D5 A9 ^2 r+ F# e- m/ DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 h$ {( M) U# d! V+ [1 tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% c+ t, @! D+ PExtensive courier duties also required.

- ]# j1 W, t( T& BRESPONSIBILITIES:
* j. }+ j( u' `( y  SThe rest of your life.
3 P1 n$ M' q, q8 {2 X2 DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) f, C8 I' @3 G! ?3 ?until someone needs $5.
3 N# ^* m# [9 \0 M, P: F7 aMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ d2 l2 u- l/ z$ Q" ]Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 k2 Z5 a4 w/ j  yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 ^! \" i6 H! H" ?" {# @2 |, |- Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
/ [0 o( F" S9 `, e2 ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( g" O1 O7 H6 J4 pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: X  ?" g$ t! {1 xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 A# }+ u- v# c! l! I! t/ yan embarrassment the next.
/ H* W5 j$ y/ ?( zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ R1 w% P! g1 J" ]  whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, e$ M- _5 }8 Q  dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" d0 d$ V7 f4 J2 n9 mMust assume final, complete accountability for
. U) u* B% k  ^$ {' Xthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 P  @5 X1 T7 L( s- k, ]( k( K7 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: P1 b  j# Q. k7 W( e% c# u/ CNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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$ X  J8 q/ |# A% {. }( @1 y% gPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 m5 T2 \+ _0 S) ENone required, unfortunately.
5 P# J. \# T& P0 {- tOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; L- h3 ?: ^8 `& B6 U' vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* q2 R, b2 R  D0 k6 l/ DOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 a* c& S2 a/ c3 U" U9 q( ]a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
( v3 d% F' T* z* \: J# qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! c9 W$ j8 v6 d5 H2 h) {8 ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# @7 t* w: ~* h- Y+ t8 @$ syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
& J4 z- X/ F4 R; d' |1 t; HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- o, j, c; I! R7 p! e( g" Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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% d4 o' t) \% i+ L' h& t** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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5 L9 z% b3 _* B* }# a7 @. \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; ~; H) q7 M8 M7 r/ k& Vletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) d# i1 v8 P4 _7 M" I6 a$ dor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.