 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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& Z, i1 E# b7 q, gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma . _. D- z: ~. T" g
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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; D3 }/ O- S8 L& g* iJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 h' W* ]. s' N; K0 GLong term, team players needed for challenging,9 T6 u' L# `2 Y5 X% C1 N
3 g. G d3 S6 y9 z6 @: G" ~" n }9 Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! y2 v7 P7 S4 p" {; vCandidates must possess excellent communication
/ K M2 f' X& Aand organizational skills and be willing to work / P- \; f3 J2 Y3 {/ w' k e$ ]
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: T1 t& I# x* C! o. m. j( \7 ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 H) v% _, m5 H! V) k" [Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 k8 U s; t+ S, zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# p2 _/ B1 u- _+ iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
h- C6 C/ f6 Q. DTravel expenses not reimbursed. - V5 t. Q8 @2 q
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ W+ Y, ]+ r) eThe rest of your life. ( ^3 R; ^) i) D5 N& V. p3 H
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 0 ~* F, u+ b, ?# C7 `2 K/ e
until someone needs $5. ; K" S0 u" k- w+ c& w" C
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; U( D8 z/ u$ dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 2 m; [/ V& K+ k: X7 Q
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 M* B3 p; l6 ]2 H& m$ E. lin case, this time, the screams from ' v. q* f3 y4 }/ K( f0 ^9 Q1 e" z
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" Z- d2 g* S/ c+ q- V5 hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, , M8 G9 h0 T9 O/ K/ R L, s# P
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" P3 H' I5 L' r3 h8 y! x) A: `and stuck zippers.
' K+ G0 _6 s f" L$ G# m! bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 w; N! j& j5 A% w/ |9 \coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% t0 g; B: W8 E5 iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ( i6 n( Q* H% h
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- j5 X9 K! e) P# s5 F6 `: can embarrassment the next.
* k3 t9 L. v) T6 g! K' RMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ M7 @; e' m: Q2 e- s$ Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 [5 n2 G* K7 v$ H" u, n, }% xMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; a5 ?/ ?- _! N5 pMust assume final, complete accountability for ' t- P* D: h+ b; l: q" w$ z1 L; E9 L7 o
the quality of the end product.
0 j+ x. X& j9 \% C: GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 P2 v3 x5 U9 X% a6 g' Rjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:" m3 n0 G6 v0 x+ q( H
None. % Q$ M6 ` ~$ C# d1 e4 y0 g
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; R9 n0 d2 S9 P" S! x! @8 ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
# Y6 {, ]+ T3 h0 A4 Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
& B+ P- e) p: G+ f0 s; g/ bcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: : A- e$ n8 o8 R4 Q0 B
None required, unfortunately. 5 J0 P: i: h4 G1 U
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. # `" O N; Q6 s
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ @9 t4 Y7 q4 H8 t NGet this! You pay them! - x: e9 C. U( e$ c
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
" G: O; d+ o( C, ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ) }+ e. E, J( w; |$ g
of the assumption that college will help them
3 B7 D! ]9 T8 m. F& n) R3 Abecome financially independent. 1 T( c, O& l5 ]. N" h& C# F
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 6 u2 f9 j7 x2 u2 F! u
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: V+ [' `/ }. w3 K, u+ Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: 3 w2 C8 `& w+ S, g" u. t
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ( w+ b( d2 v6 s2 C6 E
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: u* X! n# m' ?" f. ano stock options are offered,
: e) j& M5 E, [( r/ i3 O: vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 7 R& ^% C/ Q/ O! g5 c) {
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses / P0 _4 E# q! D! Z9 a! ?
! |5 g3 g0 f' lfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 n$ N6 F [* g" |* [7 f+ ?$ t7 Tletting them know they are appreciated
$ [( @' p" Q3 {* @* y" }for the fabulous job they do...
, {# R0 l* U1 l9 y' V: F. ~+ k" xor forward with love
' ^% R2 y3 j7 k: Z) eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
