Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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1 d- O# a5 {8 N' @4 g7 KJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 E+ Y2 o2 p- v- W: E2 l8 qLong term, team players needed for challenging,

/ p4 {! B% t- A* Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 S6 B  C7 {- S5 M# nSome overnight travel required, including trips to
6 \, ]3 T$ ]  C3 Rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  t* o3 P# Z8 Q. Qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 T  b& C+ I2 ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 A1 w. F4 o4 }5 |, @The rest of your life.
+ N; k6 w8 l, H& Z% NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- y% M/ A3 e$ T4 i2 ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, x# u8 G& X+ e' W" P5 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 S* a3 D7 p3 I$ _7 B  B9 D% Cin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 b9 Q: O4 `( \7 tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ i) ~0 P! h9 _and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 M5 A9 |# o. D' dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# g: O$ Z" r. {. V# ]- M8 i! QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( N! b* K1 E5 ~4 v- A: S$ mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ ?& s: q2 R7 W( b8 W$ b0 wMust assume final, complete accountability for
) O& G3 u3 H: @, |: K/ S2 j4 L9 ythe quality of the end product.
+ |2 q0 t7 E' K7 j( R7 ^4 S+ zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ z" u8 [: e# g2 W6 A3 a1 tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

: T+ z" l( v' y$ `4 H* G5 \* I1 b: GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( x; A$ u3 E, I# ^None.
( ?3 ]- X; @6 G' Y7 CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  ]3 h+ B( r( l" x' k; e/ }1 supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
" o& ^# u& W7 O( g) r6 w; a1 Y6 m, wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 O+ e, |: G# u% kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# v; _  ~3 y8 s* ?+ r( I+ n+ j4 tof the assumption that college will help them
1 u9 F+ A/ K0 q2 }  r, W& k  kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 [; i6 T% f9 G* x+ h. ?The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 w- V) J2 W, W% {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

3 j2 W5 Y# X/ l* oBENEFITS:
4 g  c" B( u( T( u9 k# [5 rWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  J' H) E; S! i2 Z# L: e. E- ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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1 D- U( B6 G% [* Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

. Y' U1 A) e$ kfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- c. m' X6 U6 U5 I+ z4 RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 K0 S8 j4 ^% \for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ m/ c# b$ a! M+ w' N& Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.