Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 F: O" G' l6 @* O6 LDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

6 {) o0 @# ~) [6 @% i
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

+ u8 b2 q) u$ X1 n" \permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ X2 _0 Y) {% U& @" \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- g  g1 b1 w$ Q5 u4 Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: J) ]5 [# M, ~3 x$ G8 ^2 j6 X+ m' {- uSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 B: D- l# O/ W1 ^' ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 A4 \4 l* }3 T  v6 Z0 `Extensive courier duties also required.
/ \5 K: F( P$ \
) l; G5 l5 c3 ^; B  T  P! URESPONSIBILITIES:
; U# {4 x& C# V# y  LThe rest of your life.
; p- |7 N7 M3 k' x" {2 i4 OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. f6 [: U! l- F6 p3 ]# yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- \5 q' e6 B) G5 Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ ~3 K7 f# k& f; Y6 M0 Win case, this time, the screams from
. N6 o. d6 x+ L9 P. `the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 h/ }0 v* w! L# o1 cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. A. ]+ }; g2 W- d4 pand stuck zippers.
' \0 Z  ^" P& L$ s6 KMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( [. L" w5 a" l% N; Q6 gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 r5 J& H+ F. nMust assume final, complete accountability for
$ n' D4 }+ `+ G% _1 C$ z/ Q7 Cthe quality of the end product.
6 T) Y; O/ r1 D! Q2 U) ]/ w- JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 L  l; V) {8 R) P3 A4 l% ]/ ~None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
$ Q, l5 F# u3 G# M( u' w  }- A% N# y4 s

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
( d" a& L; E3 @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
" y; }4 y! Y  a6 |# @9 jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ l/ N0 a: l' S" l: jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ q. ^8 B9 H, S0 D  {2 qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

, d9 c2 Y9 a: N) j$ t) a2 Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 `* x8 m7 f4 Y, M
( e( A# F# ]4 `0 H; y4 V  V- Ufor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
5 x- K% Q9 p3 M, |3 R6 c  |! dor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.