 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma % R: g0 Y* Q5 W: @
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa! ^ A$ j" x! h$ g: ]
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, N/ q& v ?5 @0 p, ]; DJOB DESCRIPTION:# b! h4 G0 |5 m5 \- N0 U* @, v
Long term, team players needed for challenging,4 s! { X3 F) r/ d
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. & e$ ^; y5 q* K( c. w; v
Candidates must possess excellent communication . P J0 v. K4 ]1 T/ \
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 C; j7 O+ K9 ]# C' dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ ]3 g2 V* c1 [8 u. D s" W7 Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. % W- x) m( \3 a# M
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ( W: ?4 ^* M) {4 o
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ E' q6 W* v$ Y- k3 s ?5 Z& wendless sports tournaments in far away cities! / ^% W2 U" `6 g# g& |
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 z4 u/ ~7 ^3 _Extensive courier duties also required. 7 U1 N: ^9 k- ~' f: D
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RESPONSIBILITIES:/ k( r- @% a; c8 r
The rest of your life.
F( Y$ t% n4 D4 eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 x! M; T' K# m0 buntil someone needs $5. 9 u7 ]2 x) q3 ~ E
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. B% }* h" q. l( xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule % Q7 j' U; w' ?8 ]; l8 i/ D
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ! W7 `7 @. \( \ G$ [' w: t7 ?
in case, this time, the screams from
+ z4 D- r2 x1 e# k6 ?the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# \' U5 E5 V$ b, F2 r9 f/ UMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, : {% ~8 A' R; A" o, k
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets - s, F. ]8 N/ L! P2 i
and stuck zippers. 3 \+ a, f( w" ?0 J
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 8 w2 x6 }, ~/ o( d/ t
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 3 A' u( S" f" n7 n' }
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 m' T# r" {/ \7 P* U+ R9 XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 1 |& P p9 _& ]* X
an embarrassment the next.
+ J1 _, {) h* V. fMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a # n7 a$ ]7 N2 r# q/ k
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 5 t1 o J; P# i+ P# Y5 x
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 1 ]+ v) ^0 M+ r7 ~; I1 G$ d o
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) O5 S1 z4 ~- e2 A9 @- Zthe quality of the end product. ( x l% v7 \' t, ~' F. g& t
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ l' g1 b" e3 D7 v% y$ xjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:$ J( m7 ^5 Y3 F! j0 S0 g
None.
6 _# \, G( z* U* PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
( R+ w, b8 j: N: f$ M6 N" z5 N# ~without complaining,constantly retraining and / g% \5 r. m2 r9 V9 k
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: d# S7 k Z- n% k [5 zcan ultimately surpass you.1 q0 M6 c: F1 K) R, D7 a, @7 c- ^
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 4 x( }- W$ K8 W8 m* U( K
None required, unfortunately.
! v1 D: i# s. q, oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: * K: Q& |* J9 C
Get this! You pay them!
- ^% q0 T) B8 s0 C6 f) W% fOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 9 C- s+ D: l( i6 c2 Q
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because * w6 v: g6 l D3 q4 j
of the assumption that college will help them
3 ]/ K5 r5 q7 I# A3 ^& n3 Ebecome financially independent.
0 S& v. y; x# YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% n" u& O j4 D! y" F$ MThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 Z' }; f6 J; |% {, Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 9 t+ R4 d- M! A9 ]# v
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BENEFITS: + M5 ]- N: o' E
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 y6 n$ a9 ], b2 y+ Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 ]) C% t( X, S: _/ Q2 K8 s' qno stock options are offered,
5 B5 u3 ]+ f6 y4 P/ bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses # B) ]0 }0 ]. i( f5 p
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for life if you play your cards right.
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: E) ~" J6 p8 _3 y- T% y2 q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! *** T! h3 e8 E/ s3 z) g
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, % P, M$ j% N' b* m% P) Y+ P
letting them know they are appreciated 6 L7 d/ A. m& {6 z
for the fabulous job they do...
8 D: S3 k/ g5 [# c. p; Aor forward with love & E" ]; e9 f# Q
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.( L5 W ?# k6 A% `
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
