Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 l8 |2 U" U! EJOB DESCRIPTION:
6 _9 d4 ^) |1 f+ \" v: VLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
( h4 s1 C2 h' E" e% t% ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 K+ m. a( B& ?( c# O* C' mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 C2 H5 I4 J$ `Extensive courier duties also required.
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  U/ S2 w+ P$ D: |& uRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 R+ i( x8 ]" jThe rest of your life.
, _  u/ x0 t$ R" D9 T: T1 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# B$ C& K1 ]: L: Y7 G5 Puntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# v, ~/ ^, @( H( N6 ~* z! xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. |7 b% Y5 g! R, K& R2 u2 mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! F/ Y; c% ~; n$ X' M/ F" ^in case, this time, the screams from
, x- y; F! T6 \! v8 _$ tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' }) J( z8 q* AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  [5 ~6 W9 r5 T* _such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 w2 s( Q5 E# O2 Jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 f! I) S0 w8 Z2 E4 A8 B9 fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 r  ^& d' R3 [4 V  J8 A% Tan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ E0 d( K2 B5 y) ]8 |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; H& ~* |0 O9 l/ o$ OMust assume final, complete accountability for
4 H1 u3 ~6 b3 G$ k* Othe quality of the end product.
* M2 q) X7 }2 g. w) g2 S& i- ?& A( mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 n3 Z% F; T1 b1 s4 c" VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' N5 [& Q9 B7 w" R! JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ s& Q: H( x! E6 M: `can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ J! u/ w1 j7 g" q1 v# q& J7 `None required, unfortunately.
9 m6 [$ I  h& n( V9 T+ N9 uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 m% h) z) m! A6 I! G! j$ E; fWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 t8 Y9 K: h- |% \1 K. m6 j! d' M. pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) l0 }% n# |& Ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 r8 f. v& ]  K1 v. uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
* `% t- o0 e2 F+ R& _The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" ?* m5 |/ v0 J1 R; C2 E9 ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" ]8 O" `. T, |' \8 ]. q6 K+ Wletting them know they are appreciated
! H3 T  v4 f# |- v: |for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! i. T5 r8 D+ Qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.