Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ {5 P9 N7 Z* J! _$ jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' O+ p6 D7 }/ XDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

, F; @" k$ j* _) \
- G4 f9 D- a0 A& W0 W5 P1 s* }  wJOB DESCRIPTION:
: Q! d1 y. O  W+ d* TLong term, team players needed for challenging,

- ~; O+ _) o% {# e& @permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- s( P: x" s* b9 kCandidates must possess excellent communication
# Q* e0 M% P7 K3 s) jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& d% c1 T. V. z) s: e  Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 e$ g. [) h5 u: R4 jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) j9 L) m& t- v! KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 ^9 j2 X  x) w' kExtensive courier duties also required.

5 Q" ]& \! g+ J/ V5 uRESPONSIBILITIES:
7 v( n) Q5 m7 L+ WThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 r% f' v' s9 r$ C5 z% w; H6 xMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
6 k0 @9 ]1 v9 K  wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. X& v6 |0 d9 L" `) N/ k9 M$ `, _/ Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  g' w3 W$ F4 Z0 rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- I+ L# V$ o4 ~7 _- p  vMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
; j( _% v: b: t; X0 `7 ~( }Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- U' z) a+ `: ]8 G3 W8 P% Ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* g: Q2 k8 P8 ?3 z6 z0 ]the quality of the end product.
/ D7 A8 ^! w4 L) V: u/ DResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 ?) \9 T/ K0 S/ Ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
8 A2 g9 @# n5 B  p1 k' K, m
, W$ b$ O( `3 SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 t% ?+ d6 [- ?, {, r# bNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. ^! |! |! m& s( B% M) `without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 T$ o# _/ t+ ~/ K5 A  Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 q# p5 r, a% f6 cNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

' |: |9 E$ g$ v; ]: a( C3 W5 qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 f2 h$ Q7 |  w# o" U; b/ Nof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% t* M- G) h* nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 s' a2 \. z5 ^1 ]' ^6 K! {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
7 v5 O( N2 |  V
/ u/ C6 g7 a9 q; O# FBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ `+ ~8 f8 D! s/ W. t- B) Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
# |# x* S7 l! W
- O2 g6 x7 _. @3 P/ w! t4 q  Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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% A4 K2 n) ^/ S, }/ N3 t4 X** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


8 i1 n, A- ]  i. S* h/ g5 y
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.