Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ S3 Z; V% g1 x0 ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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3 @/ v' a9 ^  e/ J, ]4 YJOB DESCRIPTION:
' E! D  ]! V; l+ `! P* Q0 I# bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) J& a. u* K: E  e& ~; j) p8 Hand organizational skills and be willing to work
# A9 F- u) Q; d+ ~- K* X3 ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- ^; N' b( q9 @: j$ W' uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, |$ Z! D  s+ i' N  j0 @5 DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 W' I$ J6 e+ j; m% zExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) {0 }3 S# w( B( r# fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 n; F* c7 [3 ~2 i& v7 Cuntil someone needs $5.
! M8 q& O/ m9 _% g) z* b* \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ Z0 \) V6 ^# r0 |. m5 q) I$ XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ D& E/ K6 ?$ l4 H9 X8 F' V- U' Qin case, this time, the screams from
' o; p0 Y: w2 gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. X" I  I- d# z+ }( s% O. G7 w% msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' D# k3 \+ v" w% A$ JMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' _7 w4 i: m2 I, E# b. |coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 D9 U1 ?2 |* K$ z( M1 A( San embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ t, i* L0 ?7 F1 i. S. MMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( M7 E9 m# B* n1 Q: G  }$ pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% u, F- R" e* @5 h0 f9 w; Q8 wNone.
4 P% p) w9 t- M! ^Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 v6 L/ B% V" w' u! a) `3 W4 s7 Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- M5 k3 a( |$ i% q. ~updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


  M; g/ L$ v" d) x) ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; [6 N; c' U' HNone required, unfortunately.
# @6 u/ X+ h# O/ U. SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 G4 {( u: S) W0 `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( j- w3 g4 L" ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ k: V* C, ~8 R' a$ c8 [5 m+ xThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, t* e& ^" y: Q  g$ T5 S7 p( C9 ]. |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 _, I+ |# |- ?$ J. _) e  X  R
* B2 H2 k5 w8 f) Z: X& u7 T8 uBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( T( P1 z! s! d) h, K5 X& z
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 T2 o% {! L  a; C
! h# x* Q$ [  h$ `for life if you play your cards right.


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. V0 P! v( n% u  \1 F0 |# `6 {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.