Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 r4 w8 h1 o6 I% X$ `Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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: T( q5 ?7 y5 O" ]7 m) W8 [0 B) OJOB DESCRIPTION:
- [3 m8 b- S: s4 F" o( [+ g4 p2 o& KLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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% P6 x* g4 G8 h3 Q3 G& x' g4 zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 f" W) G9 h7 x9 j+ C. ]Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
! g4 H. h3 b% S/ zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& R4 W8 `) }* u  U8 X: ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- w) z' D/ B" B; J- D/ Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 E* H8 B; N1 ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ V( w2 h% `3 A$ b3 |. ?+ pExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ v, t9 G3 @% k4 RThe rest of your life.
0 z4 T4 V( g" A6 ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" F$ x* I! M# x2 s' P1 T7 gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 h0 {0 N+ l6 e9 j. D; pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
  R+ M: G9 ]% x" C0 othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ k6 P( g* j" aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* i. {% o: w" D( F' Y9 w) jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& o8 }: C2 I; GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" h+ U; U; U2 X( d' S! O! ian embarrassment the next.
1 Q) o# N- J. n9 z- s; vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 _5 e* J# e6 s; mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ d# B$ ]$ N& a" LMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 `% r  Q8 X+ Y: ]$ IMust assume final, complete accountability for
' u+ q0 t( f$ v# `7 o  A4 @0 `the quality of the end product.
& c6 d. B' I. L# }$ z. FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 u3 C( f& s6 T$ B6 g+ ^janitorial work  throughout the facility.

( H: M" W1 G( A$ j$ X9 B% VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
) m) Y3 A! k, a  z6 UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 e: w2 k* h) |( Z2 y$ dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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2 x# \5 ^- e' @PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% q+ G2 J5 `- n! e  R+ gNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; O, a5 L7 n( ~9 u0 }) v% w9 @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: Z5 j+ a  l" w5 Y. QGet this! You pay them!
, z6 W: c( c9 Q, O! V- X. E# bOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
  i* `5 J. m# R6 u( ~2 r0 s# Zbecome financially independent.
' V# i) B. P+ y5 a- N4 B! L( GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: a. K! g, b' I* T3 V& DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) E3 j4 c" |# w. G; {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
/ v, Y: p- @: J1 j2 rWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* w0 F" Y7 |2 t: `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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6 R9 p) p' [3 Z( P! Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 x' K% N% t% ^. F% h, `" Vfor life if you play your cards right.

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& F0 {5 O4 y& o/ v1 [3 g' d8 x0 V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ ^; H6 |- L5 n1 E/ KForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
# i1 e5 H4 ]+ efor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.