Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. e4 J% D8 z' A$ y3 x$ l( UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' m  A! q5 F' _1 v) @/ g. ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


( x' y9 Y+ a1 g" EJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 n3 J& P7 a2 e+ zLong term, team players needed for challenging,

$ h. `4 L3 }; |' V" Z( ^permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
, B5 \4 h+ g2 n7 z) R/ V: Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  |" E# Q$ [9 Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* D& p6 i. t# a: pExtensive courier duties also required.
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7 F; s( e! _$ G  ]RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ N- ~) m' Z6 p# N7 Xin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" g" {5 f4 D+ Z& Y# BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 G/ U# Z9 f% P0 }  l: ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ I$ p1 R9 b7 m3 yand stuck zippers.
" V* N- Q% v4 _. rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 G5 i0 F% h9 C/ E9 W) c; FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 S4 q. T' Y" i$ K+ B# Z) mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* q1 c5 p2 }) p; a0 Q# a( zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 q  W! ?+ Y+ E. M( d7 hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" R/ Y) C. D3 ?3 [5 C0 J% O0 M6 n3 FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
$ t+ Q  U1 b5 \" RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 Z0 c2 W1 p8 N- W3 Q. G# J6 DNone.
- k# g0 F0 [9 y& q* `Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( F9 C: d, n: f. [* W5 m; Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- `/ B8 A, d* N3 j! Ycan ultimately surpass you.

/ b5 }5 s4 ^, W) J9 r8 A4 C( J% T+ m
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; [  ~  [- L9 |None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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( a3 l6 Q, X0 s7 y& ?WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- N. ?; Q( }4 M, X  d/ j$ ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" f  j5 C, t0 f; h: k% Qof the assumption that college will help them
4 ~# z9 L5 D/ H$ I0 k& }; _% nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% I  R6 |* t& r+ r+ U8 _6 uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# M% {/ {0 J0 D4 j( ~: |+ O3 ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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# _. W" J$ f5 N* H2 J6 ~' ?BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 R- _' z% ~" p, K( J) Vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

9 Q/ N; ?" c( E& z0 `, Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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1 k' c/ T0 I' h9 L4 {9 K. Z3 o& P


* B5 x! ]* l6 [  i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

  D6 [/ N. j8 S' H

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
" q& ~( r* k6 g& ]' q- U2 E, gfor the fabulous job they do...
: [: e- m! H7 u) oor forward with love
+ g2 c) d2 U: F' z" q0 V) }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.