Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( U6 }0 ]( V' t/ s! yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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# O, R3 n9 h& T* k; ]& `JOB DESCRIPTION:
, T) a6 C, s( P) i) z8 X# eLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 _; Z9 C6 T# W8 ~9 c2 opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 C2 Q# \8 r) F2 qCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 H" R* Z9 ?" j- d% [+ Z& b: }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, m1 @5 T( n8 Y  G% eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 w: _- S; C6 c$ wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ ^1 u# _  P% \, @% h$ C2 m% sThe rest of your life.
9 [; p. U) u( V4 J* j. w7 }7 eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 j$ X+ d% P7 {; s- X" _- N$ ?4 ?until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! U  b+ G; i( r* Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: q; ?& I* a1 c9 ]& \- ]in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  X+ p$ ]0 i. ^) H* P" dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! D! f6 U9 F) dand stuck zippers.
+ ~( a; _) v5 i: v3 ~' QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% g0 ~& L. P  Q  WMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 \: _8 k. ?+ r& o+ B! J+ s: Zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! S6 A( g6 W, @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 g% O. V; f1 kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" P5 p3 w: I( T, w) a- Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

3 N3 t" T7 E. u: n5 [( W& l1 z, pPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- U1 N* I, v2 w; ?! z2 @None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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1 X. G' C9 G8 b# y2 b5 n* b9 M' rPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% x% |5 q" j4 j! g" b8 ^None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% m* ^- g0 o5 ]% G; nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 `4 @; G( Y2 Q' L  b  _5 u5 Gof the assumption that college will help them
# u* V" [! S) `become financially independent.
" T7 d1 ?. B( g2 N5 Z" wWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
4 }8 r, z' T/ t5 jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ a, h% i, O, N. jno stock options are offered,
" t- j( R# ^; Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 c) y0 _( U* ]$ n+ r, V
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

1 k- a. W% n. l3 b  gfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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, ^$ A, C3 F# Z4 F  PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& E9 y* j, u9 L" g" N7 Pletting them know they are appreciated
+ i! R: r. u7 e; H8 j3 @- Ufor the fabulous job they do...
; T% F1 M$ _; F, p% Gor forward with love
3 d% a$ v. ?9 Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.