Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


4 _# S' B3 h$ z; J5 g% ?JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 T" q7 Z4 i4 r( G1 J0 ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,

) _8 e' w, ~1 S8 Y9 H! t$ Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; y% I2 c, M- J8 R! t* h1 CCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 k$ a" B; J' c8 t1 Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 z) F( W' v# `  |/ I5 Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% ~( F8 }- b9 H& U" \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 u* }& w. L8 A& uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& e: L6 ?: I4 u6 k8 ZExtensive courier duties also required.

$ Y% \. q/ e/ }# N' E! z% nRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% Y* h; |3 J, B: \3 H* xuntil someone needs $5.
' i, V% `1 Q6 f, Y0 t& Z7 m4 \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ J9 b' L% y  ~1 p# u9 ~# G& UMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ f8 u( d8 d, a3 p  Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  }$ Q& K9 R& o+ YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* V7 u+ T& ^5 Z- [1 Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ L9 f) @* M) F! }! {( V0 F. rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" s  x; G! S% y& O: g7 E# ^( sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 E9 J( _6 l0 f* N7 Fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ K) V& h5 V  {  O2 I8 t& {4 bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& G& J2 o2 L1 u) Q& n8 bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 i8 ~( ~2 Y) zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
( M# [- [3 h4 J/ t8 l& _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
' X9 c3 U3 B9 ~6 N/ Lbecome financially independent.
/ c9 \# F$ ]3 ~6 e' [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ @3 [0 R' s% W8 f+ ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
* |* ]# ]+ j. fWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ x$ d8 v3 U1 D6 f. o2 jno stock options are offered,
! \; _) r$ P& L; o  B% V  {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# j% m& C* S) @: Q/ R2 xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 A% ]1 C! w2 c% [" r5 \for life if you play your cards right.
  o+ y' W- }. s# a: J' k7 J
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2 @1 K  |& a/ g: x5 v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 A' D& v- |% a; R8 w
) Z+ W/ Q  z5 H. a- K3 }
! r8 F8 O: t5 F0 i) j; B) G
0 B9 z$ X. a* P) f9 E0 _1 xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 ?8 {( U) \$ Y. vletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 o- Y$ P1 ^$ w, R$ W0 j- v5 S4 R$ `or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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# |4 ^- k% @% S. g  g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.