Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) H& [. ^& ]- t* T5 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 m" x2 h: z2 f8 A1 @& w+ M) \Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 i) a' X( _& fLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, n0 f4 t4 |; e6 G+ uCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& i+ A' Y, J8 b- lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" q4 l! A( P5 J/ F) w- X- Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; X# e( K( k% Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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1 [4 d7 F8 X1 T8 t" p+ o0 DRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, m" x5 @9 X% L  ^' p' w" G( TMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
7 L. C. |% |( J& [1 W4 ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
( e- W  p, B5 H8 O- C5 zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 Y( F) d! h2 A( jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 Q% ?2 [1 }6 L9 m+ i/ tand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 @- h! D6 L9 ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 F- ?4 H0 I+ I5 ?+ Van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) Q+ u8 l1 c9 p& k8 c; e9 UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ |. H/ ^- {1 z( |" m6 b* w; e8 Jthe quality of the end product.
1 k. `+ ?8 S: d% y2 a& H' uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 c" N# H: L2 D- r5 a9 c) \1 l) Z( `without complaining,constantly retraining and
- Z: j4 G  `; g8 u! Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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5 Q8 n) F$ o  _  c/ N; Y  ^' H  w# jPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* G* j1 ]$ l  c7 I. {+ V& l5 a( BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
+ g% R5 a4 b( F5 r; _. LGet this! You pay them!
8 ^' U$ u# ]1 Q' t/ u! WOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( q7 E; D) c4 ^a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ _7 M: [6 N2 h* R, ~! m0 mof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 n8 M0 ~2 g4 T3 D/ iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 C# I+ M3 u& Uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) Y+ e3 l8 Z. J- yno stock options are offered,
* ~. E( f8 {# ]5 z# v2 P, U/ |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
2 d; c' j' q* E& Wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.