Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% S. Z, d( {# f  ?: H, G, q3 ~' Q% TDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ n9 E. m; J6 v+ f, M
( f- o7 P5 @0 _- r9 `
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

  j& l$ X8 w; b; P5 k- [permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; L1 b( k' s9 Q0 u; M. m4 s) \$ gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 y- l* l( O! v% b) g" ISome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 ?- Y$ [+ ^! V0 e- xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

# i, k3 \# N3 A" H4 ^. lRESPONSIBILITIES:
) ^- K0 g# T) F8 u# u/ ~  f2 R, OThe rest of your life.
. U) `. H9 C& b3 e" SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 ^9 z  r# q$ ?/ O* iuntil someone needs $5.
. k0 v! _# @8 y2 b. kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 d  C: [3 n  V! V) u' fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 ~+ \. A# q: b' x' w1 j: SMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! N7 v% y5 ?& ]! B8 Z5 Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& h: I# A: }, M2 Fand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 x7 o( }3 U$ ?Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* n6 a) p3 b+ u+ D  b2 x) Y% V9 U* fMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 J2 A. y- M' @; ~0 M* Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ o# E  c- V+ n/ a' Ethe quality of the end product.
6 y7 c, G; ?/ y' n: v5 V- \8 ~: r( @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ u5 w$ V% k2 f  Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

; X* t8 [) B* D5 {* _3 cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 z; T" X* @$ X' O# @/ Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
& w% E! X+ M, ]+ ]( g. ~5 B
+ t, {$ d; `. S' v6 N) S  F, J
- T' P( m7 w. `& `0 e, e2 cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 U# n* m3 o( C# ?# ~& hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! T1 {: _% M! C0 bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 ]8 U! i  V$ q( [5 p" V# Vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
; d+ g2 u( i; S" _: n* c: M* \
BENEFITS:
) }" J# e2 t4 T8 w3 G3 `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 ?+ R4 o. h- Z& M2 _1 Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; }% J. J5 ]. `' b( |/ ]: Sno stock options are offered,
" n1 X1 Y8 j, r# `8 g: Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; u# j, Q9 G! b4 }" [: Y5 `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
' [. ?# x% G" h) q6 Y% ]
/ Y% R$ z, Y3 X8 }/ }, G' q* Ffor life if you play your cards right.

2 _; w9 U" R% U( e& c; u* I
2 w5 @9 Q7 D9 b: B5 o& z/ w* {$ O  l

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

3 d3 A, ~9 N5 d+ S5 H/ |  B
; e7 y0 Y; m6 K3 _3 Y
( `2 p; z7 m+ D1 z6 FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( B2 J9 V- X( G. \letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; ~+ X3 H% e9 B* v  \or forward with love
) }/ C7 F6 V, E) Z5 Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
! h1 o0 w% D/ L1 y! ]8 G
3 H4 B3 L! x+ O$ U( g' S8 @

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.