Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' z( m9 q; x: w3 ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% B6 d% s# G: H/ V( w* |Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 H) l5 \: R2 B6 zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ S$ P/ q0 \" Q' {. C/ LCandidates must possess excellent communication
) g: l2 }8 p9 |and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( z7 U6 x) X: \* m& W2 P4 ]8 kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

8 }9 k+ Q0 ?! ARESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% i; E. G$ R, [until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' t5 L! n( z4 w8 f" j( e' y! min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& N4 d/ u4 v( Q, P2 iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ I! B+ U9 s; T& ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 {+ C& @/ X: ^- O$ \and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 x# n# T2 o$ G7 mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ i* t+ L6 i' _( K4 y* v- EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' A. X$ T* n& s, \- Hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( ?) T3 R# B0 `7 Bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. L+ G$ p' D' |$ ]. Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 L# z( m5 ^$ }5 ?. g0 sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 k1 H; A1 n; v; n) r! g& Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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( q+ `/ y0 _# P5 |4 X( _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  G+ o2 t* v, l$ I, O% e1 [* j/ XNone required, unfortunately.
" g4 i# d. x1 s* V" GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

! E8 W! E$ a6 mWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  U* b) j" ~0 F+ l1 `5 A% _8 Oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! z+ r; ?# t# t. S, ^+ d& `) XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: y& e( W8 @3 i& E' q: m, HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 k. M! N5 m+ \2 {1 oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: z. J* k# W4 M8 P: Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 W2 c# k1 Z3 Ino stock options are offered,
& J8 L( c( [: i- r2 j9 Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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, V- A" \2 j; f7 I7 o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- l+ K: W6 o& G8 Pletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.