Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% h4 X6 X- Y6 e$ I8 r4 `/ TMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% S2 J7 q# u5 D) p; V2 BCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. |" \  b" f9 m, qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" }" p9 ]0 q8 G; @( K! ]& r- DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
4 R" q+ y( w4 x: b3 Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( t+ j# G; P5 ~, }9 T: P2 S, ]) zTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ C8 s/ T1 B& {0 h; v  C( sExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 f5 D, m; W: ]# x9 b5 h$ r4 fThe rest of your life.
! M3 P1 Y7 V; h0 R8 \# FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
& e8 }9 x3 u. K, N; IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! m# o. r# T4 i0 n4 F) pAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* l9 t  l5 ^' |3 nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 g% W+ v7 e% E1 {' q1 w$ f* c( ?: Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: m1 X) k9 K/ [Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# j1 H/ ]/ Q! q) J, ^- F0 tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 j6 v% x" ?8 d* f* X# VMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( m% f  X0 H8 }# ~5 ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, C* N( s! v, y6 }5 X  RMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ ?7 @8 B- x, Z& l; [, ~None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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' L; D; ^5 p/ `0 o5 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* m, p7 X; }4 [) k8 COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  I& g; v) o9 `& z5 iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% A/ k  z& g4 {1 Z( Ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 ?4 L1 n+ i; x# E0 Ebecome financially independent.
& V; T9 U! O; g* E" A& }2 ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 H, x+ B$ Z+ a! |* L* f4 nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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$ L6 B: C* e- g' k( B5 N5 pBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 D; u2 D7 O" r3 `& Y! L' ~  Gno stock options are offered,
& z! U. g% r) Z: l1 ~4 I; @$ m, _: vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 e9 {& l+ s% g( D6 O* e1 _for life if you play your cards right.




& u$ b5 p  e! n: \$ q+ J- H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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. P8 @: D; c) t0 E, t. sForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
# Z7 \6 h4 |" Y# }for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ Q" C8 R3 X- P3 R* I9 e$ ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.