Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ C( d. E' _( ]$ g, eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
* s3 B. @) T$ u3 [4 T" R8 ~5 [
5 c& B4 z- S: V7 B, t
JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 k1 ~% I2 j6 R4 }Long term, team players needed for challenging,
) p% @7 ]* e+ ~6 `! j1 a
- s7 q, j- U9 A$ Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ ~) v& w: k1 |- u: CCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 `- k! N( d0 B2 e3 xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( c3 ?6 e4 o7 N: f' Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: P8 K4 O- v0 w/ Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 k9 i3 p  j3 o( y4 Mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
- M. U( Z! E! l/ S& dThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" x; u% R/ c! Q( W; huntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* y/ N, J6 [* m+ i# wAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. n$ p2 x+ r9 }. L) ]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
! _& Q+ M" c3 V  _7 Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* ^5 U9 ^0 {; K% ^- GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. {, s  f+ u8 k- g2 O( g6 z) N/ [and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& P2 S( P2 N. h# _" chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 B3 O0 I. M6 Y, r) k. o" N: `% cMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% l# u- d" a5 }! I$ Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ u. Y' y' ]( m5 bNone.
; i2 K2 i: G" n" r; d+ P( rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


+ L4 ]( I4 I8 O. \! O' l1 @; I* R7 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
4 D& b/ \9 H2 G7 o; b) F  SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
4 z. n3 ~* o9 g2 v3 L
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. ^6 z- E3 C5 o8 d6 r! qGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, z5 F+ l1 k! s! x  ?3 l$ @4 Q7 ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 D1 j' i8 N- K: {- ?+ y, zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

  E8 @+ M7 v( k4 D2 p- K$ u8 G
, b5 |! C5 ~9 [( J

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

; D2 a% n! p8 o' i0 h

8 @" U; g0 U% G$ Z' K+ g) aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, P; O/ ^1 A# c4 [# B: D& w* ]letting them know they are appreciated
, v. z. m: `) c4 Y: Hfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! P) c& P6 x8 @& F/ w! o) p7 v7 M+ Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.