Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 ?. u6 u& W  O% e7 KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
& f" j# v3 n, m. n. T- j# L) h& c7 ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 t7 H. w7 ?4 m" h; @and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" {  ^# }& k$ K# MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 n# b6 E. j9 B# K* s$ \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) N+ i2 a. q- C' v  ETravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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  S/ ^" x( f' h* k3 W& V9 RRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ v/ s. w1 U1 z* A- f+ p( ?The rest of your life.
( V# O- V5 [. v3 _  XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ q6 N% D4 `. e% funtil someone needs $5.
4 v! W$ c- D; L) W8 \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( F8 n( k/ c, Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. I! g8 J0 Z  x, S1 H$ X( G' iin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ y, h$ m$ i& J* asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 s2 r! G( D1 EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 ?3 j" r0 s6 T+ H3 ~: h4 wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! Q9 G1 B3 _4 {2 f# z: g! fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 S8 ?- B& O- u$ ]  K7 J0 Han embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 c' `2 s. H& D0 J2 c8 t  S0 W+ cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  E. @& ^' X2 \+ C, |  E/ bResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ d( H, }% C* c7 V/ a4 [1 {& {# Ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ t6 K/ r( u: v' `None.
5 v# \5 M5 g1 o; v5 V4 X# |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
! p; k* ]' x" nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
* T) V4 T: h; g* rcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( e0 ]5 [0 B# _7 W. hNone required, unfortunately.
" ~* R" e6 s; p4 kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
# ^+ e; A$ d, X  W& M/ _# F$ DOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 W% c6 K2 p' d! m/ Y% Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 \9 e; {, X0 z8 Z2 i6 p4 n! \of the assumption that college will help them
4 Z# e4 d8 R# b; obecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# ~5 o6 p0 Y7 n. w' R3 myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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& H: p" K: L% {% Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- S/ s! R8 @3 l! C, G4 @3 k4 ^for life if you play your cards right.

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/ h8 _* v; a! S" K2 h7 B9 V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



4 P/ |! w# F* w( k7 v# Z7 cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ ^% {1 H* f! M! y# Cletting them know they are appreciated
0 h0 o2 k& i$ D# v/ P. hfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, g  T2 Q' i) q* Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.