Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 Y0 A% l( R9 I) b) ~$ m3 VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 p& `' y' \, ?; S# D# pDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
& ?" G: f6 J( QLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ [" C3 |4 ~' y3 Q! k+ KCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! N$ K1 K2 b' m4 Z! gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' C- X# _5 i) R2 k5 [% p- r" Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( @  t9 B0 Y& W6 U- u% hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# }4 H; U  l; w$ @: K* Kuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- r% D. K' H/ l9 {4 o' RAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 V, g, n/ g! pin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! ?9 ]/ m/ ]: m! R, Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) z5 g% i  Z/ j0 T7 Z$ \* ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  r, L1 W6 J! r  w/ F3 T! hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 ?! p$ S0 K' {% X% o3 |# QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ g& Y' D6 X( \6 [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 Z9 z- P' Z" }& A7 qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; S$ j- K4 {1 Y, DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) u8 W9 }* J9 Y, n! S8 W4 w' pMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 Y  e- z! B& c/ nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- j  o6 U5 @" T# s. u3 oYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ @. Q# e# X  [, a" dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


; ^7 j" E0 m. K  d5 \2 W& L3 e0 EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 \8 Z5 E0 {2 n  E7 ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 l% x7 u0 y& I' eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( }7 H  }0 o/ t) n7 h* \" H7 S+ Uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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9 X. p' K$ S" E: s1 UBENEFITS:
; S* [9 x0 P, k9 xWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( g- _9 n. `* ^$ c, v9 xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 u8 L) U( `# u) [0 \5 Z) z. p, Bno stock options are offered,
& u4 [) D/ B. \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 S! z4 o4 Q1 y( H& Y$ q
5 Z5 H  P( V3 E5 S& q) _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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# y1 Q# _* F4 Q& O, a
# D7 _, J5 ?  ~% G* X** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
. ?* k. T4 X1 g" c. g1 h4 bfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.