Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- \  r5 J$ r8 M" x7 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ C: N0 x; z1 _5 g8 o  {Long term, team players needed for challenging,

9 I) y) t0 h7 ?6 }+ v' Vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) g- b& C  ^; |5 a( [) mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  s1 h0 U/ l3 c2 [Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% U* ~: ~3 \* p( Z9 w' ?3 M' mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 Y2 t. e8 t; {" L8 sExtensive courier duties also required.
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* I+ F& ?  f( u7 ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! ~$ v/ _; _, _4 ^; w* e  Q' P/ zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ D: W& ~* R& |" D+ Yuntil someone needs $5.
4 n  Q3 l( q  I4 R6 NMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" y: t! m# f- o9 U. dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
, c% [" p" b! @  ?: R( {% cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% M/ c2 B9 @0 K$ s1 nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* @2 r  w+ d$ k) i2 wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, i, q7 R. ^2 I8 E* qMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 p) h5 J  s3 O1 ?7 l. M$ N- pan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& e% e7 z& Z; \. s5 W6 J5 ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# C( g& U8 D7 l. Z9 n5 LMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& V& M4 }! G, X* v1 K, x; R5 SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 r) ^3 Y$ S/ [  ^% [) a& O9 {janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ ~- z" c, ?6 \+ t! C9 B" VNone.
" l  n7 k2 ]/ }* IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- U+ S& R$ [9 J3 z8 P% i( ~5 \without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 H7 X0 t/ ]5 c9 Q2 w  vcan ultimately surpass you.
3 A4 _/ y+ }* Y* k( D; Y( _
7 e0 [0 \4 J1 G2 q) v7 f( k% o. D
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 ?% x% ]- P( \/ hNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# V+ e+ [( T+ G; {& @$ bWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 C! I* @( f* s+ U7 E7 q' f3 tGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 w% f1 O. c' A+ S, ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" k/ i, J3 e8 w6 m3 }' a4 Cof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
/ F( i. _/ o: tWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ {. N  j9 J, ?3 V4 v2 Q- Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
7 R& a# Z+ R5 m# C. L
: u: \  G" R& }3 f8 J& ^for life if you play your cards right.
6 ^1 x3 ^/ T8 Q! F% d


) R: F1 r. u" p8 Q1 X
- w* C+ r7 R2 m# u2 F$ w% q; }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


8 h$ K& r+ _3 {, N+ U
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! |6 X7 w, E) {letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
" r* D8 D8 k4 Hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.