Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
! Y. f3 W( B! {( f( n- g, u
, K9 e6 G# q7 N2 d& w
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 X7 M" G' k* A. N/ }) Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 M) b, g& u/ k2 ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' L- S. J* X; h- R" m' D+ VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 d8 Z  E# G# B, U, dExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
  W6 Q3 V) A* bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' }2 R( g/ Y' S9 C$ juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ l  o  U+ R; ^9 aAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 T: a7 x) g( Q: n" i: O3 Z0 B9 T8 w, qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
( P8 v% U- `# ]. pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ Y. K6 j; D$ g6 F" ?, p5 rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  \+ ~& u! _7 h( a; T' P' MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" y* i: x) {. F1 R/ ~$ ]6 Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; k0 L3 ^  d0 ?+ }, [9 i0 c" cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 w5 h- ]0 A  }: A% @+ zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
5 H0 x( ]7 m' M- f' r
  K! Y: f+ l7 Q. ]. M0 I: BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' K: i& x: y* j6 h5 @can ultimately surpass you.
+ M& s. X0 M* T! Z: e' B
' p; X5 l& |" |. U9 t
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ C1 f# u9 N& eNone required, unfortunately.
6 @4 m8 e5 z: b7 AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

9 N% F( g# u7 j8 L, M9 [WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 k& V; B& D* |" l8 ~" yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 J* d# n$ n, W5 f9 y+ gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
8 o2 A/ q; P3 {6 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
7 x& _: o; D: h; z' c" JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 L$ l! J( L. [- p9 e4 Wno stock options are offered,
2 y7 m  o" f4 ]% b& H; r, L: N& ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ \6 J& }8 E: W; d3 P, H! b( F
' {. R, D, ]; |/ s, r8 lfor life if you play your cards right.
3 b% R; b! I4 N: o

3 T* b9 O2 O( R

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

. @; H: _6 [7 [6 y: |0 V
7 K4 @7 _4 X1 s8 p! J
+ J  \) ?" t% ]* p. O8 y: a& d& _Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
: j( p! I0 y" Mfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
% h  f# W  M8 n  ]; Y3 {& j7 E8 Sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
1 b+ ~: [% Y+ t) |6 l

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.