Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# x5 o: \! v- k$ ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; P6 m) s  |& V) K: g0 a+ yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
; ^  s* O4 O8 c) n# \, w( T3 _# [Long term, team players needed for challenging,

$ b5 W& r6 w$ H& v' u( zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 W- E# c2 |& N, r; g% wand organizational skills and be willing to work
  G: T3 \; D$ D2 T' Evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& n( c2 S( a8 d! S; tSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 g- p6 u$ E9 c0 B: H5 q" {% xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* v9 l( p! H: R+ B9 h/ \Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
" K& I$ G  D1 q' j4 ^; c  h# TThe rest of your life.
8 Q( v5 Q/ Z" VMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: K9 d. U2 j1 I' j- bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ `) c0 k0 C' L7 \5 f# }! F0 ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 _! X, ^1 r7 l( ~- Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% g4 k% n9 N* Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 y2 h2 L. e. Q+ H' K% F9 N2 L( J3 K: ran embarrassment the next.
4 _5 E* D- i! H$ _8 h3 [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 `. k' x6 r; C+ r7 Qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! \6 z* c2 c2 l' IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 I3 N! A! T- x0 ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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3 s& g1 T2 e) L/ }: }& KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
" e4 Q7 `8 p/ ~) C  lYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 {4 o1 R0 d8 awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' V! t/ [' L9 J  p$ T2 S$ P; Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 F  l" i3 b7 L8 t* A; lNone required, unfortunately.
& Y0 w; H, ]/ R" e5 sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  f& X8 |: |# w4 v0 Y% JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 i. d; `6 N$ @& q# h( CGet this! You pay them!
' k8 L" I+ G- l) w' Z1 WOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
! ~* j% K  K0 X! J6 H4 Xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! D' W6 |$ b* R! f, ~of the assumption that college will help them
' _' F, z: O, ]% F+ d& ibecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% Y5 N1 L( u, V/ a  s3 eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 [% D$ z% v. x. v+ ~0 ~$ L! S1 k9 ABENEFITS:
6 b! C- u* z9 Y, |4 J& \While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 m+ D* G" s+ h. G0 yno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
: M/ F$ V; [7 p
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

/ ^) z5 v% C) p! wfor life if you play your cards right.
! Z8 l& x$ v& ?# f1 a3 ?% s


1 _0 b8 y8 l+ {$ H. V  n
+ @% K+ e/ X% T* o  |+ @" e- s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 W8 {& z3 ^. n# ?Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" b( |, D1 ~2 Dletting them know they are appreciated
% [5 m7 I# v' k. u% nfor the fabulous job they do...
0 ^2 m! U9 f. y4 Z' o" p  W9 Y& d9 Vor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.