Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 ?5 e" ~4 ]$ p) a' |/ D" X$ BMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 q7 Y0 p5 @9 o2 yLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 C: K) o$ ?# d! wCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, b( B% g( `: E2 P, e6 fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% X% ^+ ?9 d9 |1 Z, W; S1 M7 j; hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" J# C! v% e1 eTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- v( Z+ h; q, P" |1 ?% M. _Extensive courier duties also required.

6 M5 U- ?4 W. K- W4 aRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ d9 w& A, h! q- A) s6 bThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 n( {1 D  k! L+ gMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ w; [% {3 M8 }, [Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( x; T  ]& T, X4 h5 @9 {% l& ]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 g8 |$ s4 j* e8 ]6 C! F5 {in case, this time, the screams from
+ l7 l1 ^: Y' T5 _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! u, h2 c* v7 \Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 J' M4 A* F* e/ Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 h2 A# F' K4 D; {( V) wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 P8 M1 V  b& k  Y( S3 V. Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# k8 Y  C5 A. U6 i! Z3 J7 i+ [" a" ^% \8 aMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% c' q) @, b, K4 j; S* _2 s7 PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: y. ]$ i( P$ ]6 Y5 ^' h# ^an embarrassment the next.
1 c- A( C! H+ J7 h' \3 ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ F4 ^$ u  z; z& X! l7 j6 whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ R2 t8 z4 K# V" ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 w3 L, }5 ]/ ~" lthe quality of the end product.
5 v3 ]+ c& V0 ~* V% x' @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 a% K  `  @! S2 ]+ B% M! g# gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ t) y. H3 ]' H- ]$ `5 G! sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- B1 Z1 T! L3 P; V( kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 ?/ `: C1 R+ ^) A+ ^  _can ultimately surpass you.
; B* K- S7 k5 p7 f

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
3 |6 x% _$ ^+ @1 L: cOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
6 ]2 [9 `: r1 N. v/ ^) T+ D( G# N
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- z# [, i7 J# U' }! _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# i, ]7 H% M& C/ m7 \a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* I) |2 h% O; c0 f( cof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ y2 }, U% h- e/ GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' W% H) o( k3 D, }BENEFITS:
7 Y3 o- b7 i6 v) m! Z6 pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; r, B# ]5 x8 Q' P  x$ W6 Wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 M) A! _1 |+ ?3 z6 T2 W
4 f! e2 Y% Y$ t; w- i! R5 C. v+ Bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ w. U+ ]8 r, v" t
for life if you play your cards right.

+ b+ e  ~, @% Q: i9 N
5 E! u! }3 D( S4 L  l

% Z* o5 `6 G+ E- D4 G** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



- H0 {$ r4 C& `4 Y! C0 t- R8 H4 `Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: |3 _4 o& E  ~7 Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

. {  V; W/ ~" S+ J$ I3 H5 V

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.