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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
$ u3 K7 S, V, i9 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 8 z# f: g. s4 r5 I, V
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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! {- M$ E6 u) b% D& Z) K, R( uJOB DESCRIPTION:
; A7 u7 ~0 [8 P; x3 I, e4 W; bLong term, team players needed for challenging,; x+ O; O! d1 Y( P  Q5 E

( m; s9 h7 [% n- ?, f) t) `7 wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, c' p: H; b0 q* Y6 T9 Q1 C, TCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ Z2 G6 h; @' v9 u. |7 x/ j5 Q9 ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
* L: g+ ?( m, p9 u5 m% wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends & @5 |4 b6 `( `0 C
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% F0 e( t* c" J" k* h( N9 a- R4 `2 KSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* O2 {1 y" m( Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and % A, O8 g" f- R8 [6 S9 `. e
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 8 Q% {1 U9 B1 y" G1 }& U
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  M, `6 c. T' ]4 h+ H: z$ ]Extensive courier duties also required. 1 I3 u7 K. v+ X+ e& B/ j8 H6 B

1 }, V; k5 }6 M5 k" C7 b% H. nRESPONSIBILITIES:) F4 H  Q/ m* Z5 R/ s: `0 d
The rest of your life.
( {* Z( v8 C2 O9 a/ H. FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, & s& M% G# P, B6 ?
until someone needs $5.
- z( e* V2 P3 [2 X) iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* N8 w/ Z5 z. c( mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule   T; @- y. ^. N/ `7 |. H9 [
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat / |2 b- c' I0 N4 N
in case, this time, the screams from ; \  g" B0 R7 C+ a6 t0 X( B: h2 ]
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( ^; v) G- W. |$ O' N/ k- GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,   Y$ V  K* h1 H3 k
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 d9 k. w% ]8 \' {and stuck zippers.
1 L* s; X) y: J6 j6 @( V; ]& VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 K, I" v8 {: B5 g' Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6 }: l% |$ q4 q: x8 q: s6 [. \
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. h: O" R6 F# j" |8 V1 b! k7 L/ MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,   e7 @4 C7 E0 d) @( o" `
an embarrassment the next.
0 l- Q) y% F' c- F9 b) w" \5 {Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 3 v) F: I! [( |0 t' ]  c- N
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 8 W) ~3 v9 g2 F3 Q3 E
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 0 H/ y2 _! F' C; C8 J" R) j* }
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. p! C' _* E- }% a, t' A& D% ]the quality of the end product. 5 U6 M  C# \9 @- P
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. \! A. j& o5 b) t, I0 ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& _' e; i9 F/ q6 s3 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:3 l5 m# z+ u5 n; ~# L
None. ( |' J( [* X  G7 \% M1 \' V& P* F
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ X! G. c4 q" d$ b& A% Z3 e. `8 Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# [% c" r- j3 Y% |4 ~7 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge # H! W& ^) F, z8 v( C
can ultimately surpass you.0 |) [$ [, Q. u7 _* g  o

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' ~" X7 g. M2 g9 I5 ~/ ]; C& w  }. EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ P0 ]7 Y- @6 b4 v+ t9 {None required, unfortunately. 4 Q& }  U! z* Q9 h% W' X
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 N. W1 _5 Z, x% y, [WAGES AND COMPENSATION: - b- z; r. v7 a
Get this! You pay them!
4 z* I- }, n6 K: ]9 lOffering frequent raises and bonuses. $ I0 |3 h! `! f6 n% S& z
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because + ~* c+ r6 A2 X: z: h
of the assumption that college will help them : ^$ |+ G" d# `. q0 \
become financially independent. $ v& k: J: T- j- d/ _, j6 N
When you die, you give them whatever is left. & D  l3 a1 k' v5 f$ V5 E- W) }8 C$ y
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that " f8 u: K" O9 T3 Q* c* c) Q7 p9 F
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- r3 w2 h$ L) a% L; v( `2 UBENEFITS: 2 e. e5 a; o, s2 k( T; v$ e
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% R. G; n& U! i$ d! ^4 }no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and $ d) w3 P# Q. u: b0 S( c$ N
no stock options are offered,
& m. [" x' v& R$ D# H. Cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ' v2 P' L( z) a8 G# _3 t

0 j5 H& M- S0 @% J  c! q5 w" \! xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ; X4 h& g5 S. k/ O+ q
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for life if you play your cards right.
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  Z5 m/ ?/ x8 @! E. ~& J! a# s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **! p/ L  O9 g+ F2 q6 k1 j5 n
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4 D/ O1 {* o4 LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 o8 p% m7 n9 P& z$ e6 R1 Wletting them know they are appreciated
0 D' K0 ]0 u8 B5 Yfor the fabulous job they do... & L; L, P$ q8 ?" g% x. P
or forward with love
, Y5 [5 i, ]/ {5 pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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