Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% B# E% }7 z7 iMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- b' V* `- b7 d+ s. k% mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" n/ z9 y+ [+ h3 ?  cJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: Y% @  b" S; R& }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 m: g" @( z  S/ N' ]Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! B8 l( B! @* W4 y9 |& c5 Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& o3 h" j# B+ ^% i8 [, iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

/ O4 ?9 ]7 b, B! ?1 J7 ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
' U, _9 E) a5 {" Q0 p; m1 \, SThe rest of your life.
- I' W/ e# h' LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
( y4 |! c+ E0 d. FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ ~! O! r8 O% p& `  Kin case, this time, the screams from
1 t! t9 I: F8 fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 f' D$ X. n% B& N- pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' v) i  E! O, q) h& ?" D' rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ u% R- A$ Q; U9 t" T0 z, e. rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' n. K: d" y: h! ~0 TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 j( t/ b9 N/ |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ ~2 w# o, H3 o& QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 Y# q8 u) B0 s6 uMust assume final, complete accountability for
) A5 c: h0 H5 {6 i: p/ pthe quality of the end product.
! q  o# ]' @% b. i/ p% V+ oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 m6 |: v; i& bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 u- z1 Y0 d( v/ N1 uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


  w& l* v5 m) F( f3 iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 o( _0 Y5 R( L+ q8 ?/ o( r9 B8 ANone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) j/ a& D+ I" |8 j, OGet this! You pay them!
1 }! `' V  k: |. m" GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" S7 V2 s& h; \1 H. G" e8 c) g) Xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 B9 c! d. Q0 q. e% ?, Z' z: c, e9 lThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( v# y  n9 F1 U0 o4 U+ M8 |6 U7 _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

% f) ]' Z, ]5 PBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( a- i9 ?% E: H0 `' F9 P7 ?no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; S# H' q% B4 A- U  i, dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

& Z5 x  b. x4 M% ^1 funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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4 E8 n7 F6 ?7 E* {2 B6 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
8 e7 n8 ?0 ~* o6 V% a6 Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.