Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, J7 c; B1 |" N( VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, b  x) S$ G' q; q5 R) [) ^Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ Y: w: H) P1 ^1 n; d; a6 U7 OJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

9 V) O- }& r4 n* [# t1 Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! W, d2 p" z; p# d7 r% \Candidates must possess excellent communication
: f4 Y: I5 k9 \. Q7 v; E% Eand organizational skills and be willing to work
) z5 V, }; m* z( N: [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. ^' f: O2 d; Iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 n/ d7 f* B+ t- j/ ISome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: Q7 k, _) }. L" Fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& ^* f9 b0 Y6 x' m9 u$ ^7 N% iExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. ^7 A( R- S1 g# {' F& ^  c, band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ V" A- Z7 f, ain case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 a# c  ?" H9 W; D* {: ]and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" `* ^& V1 D. @' W/ {) O. v9 H* pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ F: |% J" m; ?2 C. {' w+ _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 U/ X% p+ G: G3 x# e- e; fMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# w2 m) ]% ^+ G/ i6 U. C9 xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 o( V" C* l  q# i4 O7 NMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  r0 `  d& {- {% _Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" D7 M+ x- o3 m% F$ o% @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 R0 \) q$ x1 M  l5 l' C/ hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; Z( r- V' `* bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: R! B: ^3 l1 M/ M  f" T0 J" |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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) f& ~5 j* P8 f% t; mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- Y# \0 q7 X$ {1 K' f, B2 Y+ XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, e4 Q: A' G/ p8 J1 B/ zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- {( M' k. @  W" A, u" y+ YOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% p6 `( o  T$ W8 O% r2 r7 Vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( d5 l6 Q! P0 P$ y. k# Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
' j  x; ~0 Q' a& e( u4 h( u, hWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 n; C9 z  A9 T! ]& f$ _no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
7 }5 j  D1 M2 M* a$ [/ Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ J0 L1 Q' k7 f, `* p! L: ]; ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  R) y" i0 F# L0 ffor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" R7 J$ T8 E3 [" nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- l. |1 \  E# [# z! Iletting them know they are appreciated
$ h( O/ L- G& r; i* |for the fabulous job they do...
) K$ A. ~( E7 w9 S8 j& Ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.