Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
. t+ _# `0 z! |2 _Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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( S- F. a. o% J5 q, rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' Y- v4 c7 b$ h" s; R+ SCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 y- t! M' i$ t  Jand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 O7 j; T2 J( R" n8 s9 kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 z" Q9 ~  t; Y* YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
. f# h+ Q' P9 l  C( rExtensive courier duties also required.

' ?. ^" C6 t% N* }RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 d/ Q7 d8 {2 j( ]1 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 S2 K# Y3 V3 E9 u9 K2 V# Duntil someone needs $5.
/ p$ s1 j$ B+ K- }5 D; ]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! H' V& B" Z; m+ iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 s" w3 N4 q) b4 \4 qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 X- ^3 Q9 i2 K+ ^1 W) s# `and stuck zippers.
' B5 L$ O/ Z  YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 m" U4 k4 i) c' MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ x+ c5 T& c) U8 cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 i, K3 V+ T- I8 l* W- N% eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ n0 A6 Z% K% ethe quality of the end product.
3 P4 c8 e; T2 q  V/ O( }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' I& U0 E( ~  [0 x4 f* qNone.
: ~; D! S; f. G" a! {1 aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" C3 @( @" R4 \# H) Wcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
3 W( ~5 D9 }+ \2 OOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- J& X) O0 U" }1 p6 A" H! za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ S; z* G+ t4 U! _$ @+ Lof the assumption that college will help them
9 R/ k/ c( G# i0 r' o% |1 ^5 z  b% Bbecome financially independent.
- Y4 L/ Q* `4 I/ C' GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) R& o+ M# q+ W( HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 q' w' d& s- e+ A: ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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! a3 T; O. f" q% CBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ W) {+ P+ ~0 [1 j# h$ g6 dno stock options are offered,
) z2 [- U$ ]  m& q! I* t- ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

& U4 {: U2 L" o" O  @8 f8 Q1 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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4 e9 t0 i3 e. n0 ^7 @4 u7 P6 ffor life if you play your cards right.


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1 o3 w$ ^" [3 t- r* N( q  K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 a6 P& v* H0 ?+ _/ h& v1 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.