Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. ^" {) i# I; H! SDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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% X' h& g% r, _2 RJOB DESCRIPTION:
. G) U, B( P$ F% ?; S5 ILong term, team players needed for challenging,
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4 ]: L6 F( y/ d1 rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- ~/ P- n% l( @4 ?" Z1 Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
' o* M" d8 U% q+ Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: w1 C; H3 T9 D" jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 r8 H- r9 P8 n+ J- \8 XSome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ \) G4 W4 I5 m; y4 H" ~+ n0 fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- f) \5 W3 f& ~Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
! e3 \$ [! ?1 j+ }# rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! B) |2 s& y  P+ |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ ]6 z, [( d& pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ l$ P5 f8 U7 V" N# ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 E. E* {. `7 k- l) Q) kand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 C' z- H6 ^2 `- b5 tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# V% E. _1 @( HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, p7 f$ a4 V* S0 O, M% P/ C8 {. H4 OMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' B4 S0 N6 V7 Z6 e: \# @an embarrassment the next.
$ d! p5 _* Z! RMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( F! u, ?6 i# \5 D  ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! b6 i' I' k( r6 x5 H% Y: y  XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 @/ w! I6 }3 r. i! cMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 b+ V) A3 U* j4 b2 Rthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ G$ D5 _+ u8 B+ c) |2 }" PPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( o( {2 P# d4 v7 ?- w9 HNone.
9 l) t* x% E& x* ~9 J5 @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
- i! _1 R; O3 H0 n* A. V  z& Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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& i5 l! S( o' BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ I' }) m( Z: W* s% LNone required, unfortunately.
: B- q" o6 u( T4 ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' L, o0 [$ M: h2 gWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* i. W# B4 O% s$ LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
4 g  H& Q% g- C* z8 F$ d0 QWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
; |9 c! S+ A7 e5 j" gThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 a- g+ @) [  s3 o* n# a. FBENEFITS:
9 a' U. t: i: w) jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( d3 t. g4 ]! n1 ?, Ifor life if you play your cards right.

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' ^; Y, f7 f0 N9 j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
5 ?5 q5 n, C" x" v! z  x: G3 Ufor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
* C2 ]$ \" d" F# r9 T1 K  Vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.