Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 `2 Q$ \1 ?2 F1 a' t+ J* wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 B; V* X  p! I8 I: kDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: g/ q( n% l9 c1 Q- M  x* E1 \JOB DESCRIPTION:
, t9 f" H) }5 A/ TLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ j* D" v5 D$ H3 xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 f8 G( F  L: VCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

% i7 P4 ?1 W+ e- fRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 g+ t* v6 W' N! X/ P' zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 ^" v; \0 y. S4 duntil someone needs $5.
/ [; R0 W' R! K, JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' ]+ C  a2 k& u+ q. h1 zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
. w, F, o/ u  v  S% x2 k/ _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 E  k  k1 ^- {: M, D4 T  OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ z$ Y# n' f% \; c; EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! E, J+ e8 Y/ f! |an embarrassment the next.
: N6 P% e  [$ B* a) xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 z' q; V3 u& a3 k# y  @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) X: }0 u4 \3 H" ~1 E% uMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  \4 z4 C# ^4 j, Z6 uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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* Y( y' G. N" N1 ^; C" pPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ ]0 m: r  W' I5 H4 ~& o  pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
: ^/ y5 A# R  y4 iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
. b  i  {0 B: Jcan ultimately surpass you.


! Q' M2 W: b+ z4 v) WPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( m* H3 s  @5 i  y" d* u4 G* fNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& y0 l- E: ]) |" |4 x: gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  w9 b1 C; b7 \3 B, X  nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
8 S3 s0 j+ S7 \. e% \) s: R4 }# Y% R5 vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' [* X; F. W+ S; _$ ^! b& ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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  ^+ X  T* B! w# Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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1 O2 |8 w& q- ~9 k. u! j; AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 i' w* f0 H( r$ H7 \& m% C0 X2 D! `& ?# Eletting them know they are appreciated
* m( W7 k; U. @/ Y7 J& S4 W  Z/ W( pfor the fabulous job they do...
" `0 E* B4 j) s! Gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.