Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 p, }1 {( b2 }) g0 R6 o9 F. K% ]! fDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 u3 Q) X; c) E+ }3 k. j' ICandidates must possess excellent communication
2 s% F' z: h" H7 d0 oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 O- c& o# ?; U- Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" B# z. @4 q* ?0 N6 h& g6 w. Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' O& K3 ?2 L- J7 S% b: X5 b1 XTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 u/ U- t3 j" [, ]: M6 d+ GExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
& v! D0 m' _+ W1 S; VThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  Z  g. M; T/ ?7 D; ~3 YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& F( r& _' y% R9 Y' J# s, _; G5 O6 Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: f; z+ h# I: X. n9 \( sin case, this time, the screams from
- d6 y% a: N  _& bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 r; Q. D) z( IMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& c2 Z5 ^" }- Y  E9 I8 {such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 F4 s2 x6 x: @( s- _. r/ ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: o  _) G) N+ @- `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ a1 s$ `2 I" C* Q7 YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" U# P7 ~7 K) N" M2 ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( V: R" d1 o- k7 t/ A5 K7 J- xMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 r! P) z& h) Q5 K  RMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! W1 d$ L/ |6 h: bNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: i* U: _, O0 e4 ]% h4 y+ V. }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! z7 K: L  \9 U4 m) Y" ?. x# NNone required, unfortunately.
1 |" C0 _: g; H4 J; AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 C; f% F" k% ^! H: Q1 CGet this! You pay them!
2 K2 p6 K6 c) j7 l: b: f+ T( POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 e+ |$ i$ P" ^0 ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. I9 `7 j) x6 i& e0 E% Mof the assumption that college will help them
( }: q( I9 H# k# k7 g; Y" o0 k. _4 Y2 kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ c. S  o/ g9 T; L0 ?! w7 ?The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ l( Q9 e/ ?2 E) L6 V$ q7 iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. |# P" }- ~3 P5 s' y+ ?BENEFITS:
5 E2 U  I- h  x4 f4 kWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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! ]  m1 g5 j- \/ Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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2 k- O8 Z# s7 w/ ^- T5 ~1 G** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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& n" Y, c; q. f' Q( {0 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 g& F1 m7 ]9 O0 kletting them know they are appreciated
$ S( [+ H  T$ J2 p" {  `7 gfor the fabulous job they do...
/ I' o# n; v, y4 R3 Yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.