Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
6 G* J2 ?$ F3 x/ ?9 S2 U  a+ G
2 f7 f3 t+ S/ Y# f. g
1 a6 \, t- n; l5 dJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ O1 k" i) a$ T7 t0 QLong term, team players needed for challenging,
9 p3 m( r7 P) u. B9 d# k/ [1 I: C
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* f6 _# I# _" T9 y; S$ N0 _: JCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
) q, U% w/ M# }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) ]5 g) b" {: jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, G: l) ?. h4 l7 O$ `# P! Nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) p) \% f( s$ {2 {& yTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

5 t, x8 C" l/ A4 |. ?2 [RESPONSIBILITIES:
. K" k  E! j! L( l1 Q/ ^The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 n) G9 j# z. s, f& X. d. P& h2 a- d0 Q+ @until someone needs $5.
1 F" Z4 {; Z# k" ~! d- XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; x' p4 f9 i( _* V& N1 {/ G& _9 @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
5 g1 {1 }5 ]) f8 Z' \8 pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& P, Q5 d+ }4 u$ V; \- {2 A4 k% n# i9 f6 \and stuck zippers.
9 Q$ g* i3 i9 \Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, t  E8 S' y; y- |  T: F  lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 @$ y1 ]6 b! t5 T6 ]& R$ ]# z2 fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 R. C4 f1 @8 W$ N5 V' D. Lan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: V* `3 g9 [" {6 [- v0 v% \5 fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ T( @& O% t* l' n; HMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( b5 q3 D5 S" v! \* w  xMust assume final, complete accountability for
2 D+ y3 n5 m7 n2 b- Gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  k& o# V2 t; f( |7 DYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ t  v+ c1 Z# ?7 c* h1 K$ g9 Ccan ultimately surpass you.
5 J# C. i3 E- N% e, z- o0 b
4 U* ?; i7 d( B- j, L
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 A7 z# g6 `9 D0 m& P  fNone required, unfortunately.
& b- s( E5 o5 i' VOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

6 n6 O* Y! P5 J  H  k! u' _4 ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) g; b* n3 j+ g# P* W- f& pGet this! You pay them!
+ ^) `5 s4 W; @& ?, v( `% L3 ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 z3 T8 j+ \- O- S7 A5 _3 Ubecome financially independent.
8 c$ ?$ _' D: {) ]8 P, X1 ]; f, ^- B0 eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
: w' M0 A. l$ _! y3 Y9 g6 E/ y# b- h
' g  U$ z* I4 z% p" {  tBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- ^! z7 M9 x- Sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
3 o1 s) g6 c3 ~9 `
$ k7 j  `, X+ d8 X0 }) iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ u1 d& w2 `  O4 ]; F- ~9 H
for life if you play your cards right.


, c8 O) u, }5 T# D7 H9 u
) Z7 f- g' W3 |+ F! W6 D/ }
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

2 m7 o( N. v* h

) Z: y6 R* ]! u+ R2 [( C/ kForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 K# ]0 [1 z2 Q8 _: X1 j# Sfor the fabulous job they do...
% X- Z; h6 P3 [" e9 l$ Bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
7 l3 X: p$ c# v( P, t9 t

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.