Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 a( z* w6 T  o# _% m) C; bMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* B2 Y+ l3 E  X7 G8 ?5 @; v* }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. z2 z  C, L* J! `5 m9 v$ fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 ?* C0 ]4 }& L9 S, uSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  |8 g' ]' a& `6 zTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( l* f4 m1 n5 t: `6 E9 W' BExtensive courier duties also required.
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  T% [+ h$ D3 }RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ w, v# V6 T0 }, r6 _The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! I- d3 w" m2 ~2 B5 N8 k, t  sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ `3 b: g. Z8 z. G" _in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. ]' F/ F  i' F& B& EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ C% ~, t3 t" Z- k0 land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) l$ G% A3 o5 |$ P# u. tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& R" ~! }/ S8 O6 c) ~: r" SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% o& g' ~) a0 V" L! M& UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
% c5 p" ]2 x; r0 Cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 ?& E; Y2 ?9 TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 G. I5 k9 {5 {' qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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: a: @2 I" l" O& e2 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' f6 R) S) l2 A3 f; d8 \/ x+ CNone required, unfortunately.
1 S- X5 X& r' f1 A3 BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

% D4 `/ b$ I$ HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- c7 v* T% k7 n& ~$ b" b! h5 P8 `! mGet this! You pay them!
: g" E, |  z, @! |3 g  DOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; K/ ^+ v1 E8 N) k% Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 f* _9 I0 p9 H( F# n) B, C9 Jof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  E  w# _2 d7 v9 a1 PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
$ b3 \# t5 U. e/ j  v5 [& X0 fWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 x# n3 U/ ]1 [4 V& z+ Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 @3 d' J: h: l* ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ f) r$ l  }( q9 ?( I9 dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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3 ~6 J" W* ~4 F' W. j& R+ {0 X. pfor life if you play your cards right.

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% U% B% s! O( M( `' }
4 k+ Y: c4 z& x/ w$ p! X" X) u: R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 H$ m3 S! m% I( j# WForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.