Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* {% H" _- D, i, O0 gJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 B0 b( _- z4 N2 Qand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# x8 V: X, W/ C( l' f& kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) d* H% b: l& r2 r4 K- ]  pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 {* b, u( Z) o$ d: @, }+ CExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( J% c) K" a# w, Q. O! E$ d1 euntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 I' p% b2 x( I+ i6 B0 C! L. band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* S7 c( B  P" \) t  A; W1 h/ Bin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* D7 @; F5 Z# w# O. m7 v+ aMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ L% V( T' A6 ^" q" ~1 W/ w1 _( pand stuck zippers.
! c4 }' y# v( f. DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# L. v" m% s/ a( aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% d% S: N* L" `9 ^Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
1 O4 Z8 P9 K% }/ L6 b4 ^3 \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  K0 V9 s1 Y) P8 W* t9 V- c$ tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 [# d6 k. Q+ F; ^: r! x- G6 v* xYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 _% W0 W6 V% O5 b' |% U9 awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
( v; z4 V2 S: c8 uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
& X& h! j7 _8 f, p2 ncan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" f1 ]/ l$ Q9 M: @None required, unfortunately.
) Y0 X; ~6 }' e% A) BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ Q! ?) a  a! w) dWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- I  P6 w+ z& J5 g9 WGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 q; O; P$ S  m' Sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 F" o8 u  g! i! wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- {3 C0 o% ?0 EBENEFITS:
: d3 H! ^; a* ^While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 Q, l7 ^- D' e: H5 L4 `! H0 gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

. B7 b6 B$ y2 |3 Qfor life if you play your cards right.
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% d3 i0 ]+ T0 ?2 |
# m' d+ l) b. b# t- E** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' c* G5 ~  w7 _letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* \! G  y5 G( Z2 E/ F6 sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.