Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


/ D" ^. }! A  Y! F, MJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 `* \  S% t8 \2 I& y$ I" b; ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% }, b  M& r. |% O1 hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" {& Z/ q# g0 ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
- v3 y# |: C+ {0 J6 y& W0 kThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 C# b/ u4 Q5 q4 q8 ^  Ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) T% ?+ u: I9 ~' ]1 LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 P* I! s' }7 \' n0 h8 Gin case, this time, the screams from
1 C- @. N5 G; X. K5 w5 v3 P+ p$ uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 Y  M$ M3 |* |" X6 q+ zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 w" p* T, V) R* q4 N- X8 Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 |4 y4 P4 l! zMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, M1 M/ F4 ~/ Xthe quality of the end product.
4 p9 l5 B, C" t0 KResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 x* w! u5 ~/ q% MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 f: _, [$ G* {& c( A; cNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  N2 J7 ]; P. @7 Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  D5 o8 e/ G* T% }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( t) c) d' V/ d) E3 g3 ~/ Zcan ultimately surpass you.
; |/ ^3 k3 a' _+ u: T2 U9 H
( v% o  B2 ~) @; D1 O7 l
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ T2 v3 P3 s/ @0 P6 iNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) }6 t+ X; {; j& V% P* B# XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; L% Z# j5 k- h7 P8 p7 E' WGet this! You pay them!
6 c. p1 h2 U3 d1 m& p6 M2 h) O. l- YOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; A/ l2 r& z( e8 D9 v: `4 ~* fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 b. k' n, O, l" Rof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( F, P: y/ J. G% n- D4 jWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! D$ \4 a9 [; b+ @7 dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. n+ e/ W) W' U& T! e8 }/ b/ Y- Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 F+ N; n9 j/ ?3 s9 k0 z4 N
+ R4 b* ]1 `8 f1 `  @" d% t4 @: zBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 d- d$ K) _2 X. P) {5 S3 kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 J  S0 f. X8 s( O  Yno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 {2 S) j1 ?& t8 ?* D6 m8 _% C3 ?9 `
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



" B" v3 a4 Y9 s6 c7 ~3 K( u9 C
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 B1 ^+ Z, a# nletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* X0 D' A3 N0 D0 Q/ O8 X  ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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5 J4 P1 `5 r" u. Y8 k3 g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.