 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 7 J8 J2 M& K/ x2 l6 _
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa3 ?" |; a$ W# H% R9 c6 D+ T
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 S7 h ^# M$ E0 DLong term, team players needed for challenging,2 k2 H9 r* A) M
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. * a5 u ^: k# w9 `+ P+ R( C
Candidates must possess excellent communication & z8 R; j- \: t$ c
and organizational skills and be willing to work - V. ]5 Y* \/ i3 y( b7 t
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends % ]; j2 j$ A% A$ F( k6 u* u7 r
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. # d/ q) c* I; D7 C
Some overnight travel required, including trips to & w) y+ I. n) e. L+ w
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# _& \% x* {$ D7 Dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( P8 m. G4 K) {, C+ mTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( Y( U a, n T' {. Y" X+ OExtensive courier duties also required. 3 d5 v6 q' U* a; l1 s4 u7 l+ z
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
: \, O, Z% U$ p9 A( E3 z- XThe rest of your life. # {& r4 Y G$ L( o) B0 i, g
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- J- J4 |7 l/ I# {: v3 J9 v+ quntil someone needs $5.
: p4 C9 K4 {7 u7 a1 g6 ~: A/ w' |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 9 l" ~1 k4 |: Q* s- k/ n% |6 g! V
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule , U$ q* K4 l, I1 G: n1 l( L$ Y& d
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ' w9 C3 A W8 j6 r( m+ }/ C/ I. X
in case, this time, the screams from
. X. L) v1 B* R/ y7 lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ! d' D2 N# _, T' H6 U/ f- s6 k
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 T: w/ u. j% ^( d0 F# J2 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ) [# o+ b$ }- w3 z; x# N& @
and stuck zippers.
K, r% p4 h9 Y( z: r, @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 4 I8 E: h* B- f9 e
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 J0 O7 ]0 s4 `5 R1 gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. E. b$ ]+ I- X) P, i3 A* f. YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, # `$ l3 L& n! ]9 Y1 j. P# p5 \
an embarrassment the next. ) W9 F, l3 o% P
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 C- B4 n) M2 E7 Thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- }+ k( j$ v# O' YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ; w9 L6 N$ @. j' F
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 f( M, F) E# hthe quality of the end product.
% _6 I, T# L8 v+ \$ R& BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 6 T- l1 A$ |" j3 X5 M& V
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:& ?% f' f4 T5 c2 }( }' _
None.
* G7 p, _$ u' i! eYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
# y3 z1 f6 `0 t) Y, ~without complaining,constantly retraining and " _0 t8 l5 s* @2 a
updating your skills, so that those in your charge / e: s. Y* Q" E" Q0 q# Q: ~
can ultimately surpass you.
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1 z( h$ b* H& {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 7 l3 G2 w6 V, B+ O! T
None required, unfortunately. \0 R1 ^( ?+ G T! d/ d# {8 K
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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" Q. L4 p" I( [5 KWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 2 V) E6 S. l5 `) o7 y" }
Get this! You pay them! . x4 r6 d7 O6 V9 ~& h% X
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 0 j0 _& g3 [( O
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; h9 C& c& q5 F! C( Gof the assumption that college will help them " ~. S! e0 [% k9 i$ m
become financially independent. H; I" f' g" ^5 b+ s
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 7 a8 |- y9 {; d
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that . C8 U7 Y* V; g% O+ K1 {$ d! Z
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 3 Z, |, y8 Q8 w( s9 p5 o
1 l% k5 i( M% J- A9 Z qBENEFITS: 0 c, j @' a8 c3 ^: E, c0 M
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, : F4 N! v0 z6 Z) B
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ; b3 R) j* A; L# j. y
no stock options are offered,
- L/ A5 m; E' X0 _0 B4 Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, & ^/ e" W* J+ M1 g
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 1 K# H0 \! c5 u7 g- O# ^
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for life if you play your cards right.1 R& M( e! J; d/ P) S, J' b
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j1 ~; b. p! ]( E6 w6 c+ p# v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **9 Y& ~9 I9 e* c8 k6 @. X0 p
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ Z( q8 k n5 r0 v9 b$ |letting them know they are appreciated 7 R8 m. V) T" J% }/ ~( D# H
for the fabulous job they do...
- O1 ~1 r* d5 F' Z4 ]9 d* vor forward with love 7 O# T+ U* [, J1 v# U
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
