Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- n$ F7 f8 S' TLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% g  O' F( Y* d; oCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 ~+ q; Y. V7 }8 Xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ p" p2 v4 n- J! j' B2 ]Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" V: S  j+ E. Z0 p: nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) ]" l. d) r" A  O7 |Extensive courier duties also required.

  q1 K, E6 X7 ^3 N0 R) l5 DRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ E/ e3 ?0 ^& J* C7 Huntil someone needs $5.
, N" q, h& z* J- B1 c, G6 G4 mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 e7 L1 C. d8 O2 ^9 Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" r) R! x: u9 v0 esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 I+ r" b  b6 |& m& yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) m1 ~" E, Q, P/ y& N4 d- w0 g$ bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  F) ?* m- C1 |$ iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. r5 E" K; @. e+ Z) A3 a: s% Tan embarrassment the next.
; Z/ \0 ~* k; Y3 W4 eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) ^5 y$ ]( a( s6 nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 C$ G$ _) w9 p) c0 K( n* CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
, o7 k  l2 n) p' ~. [% k6 gResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 _5 C$ Z+ _  k: E) ~5 W) sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 L7 @( c1 g2 f" P% y$ y6 D2 t5 MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! |5 M& s& p# d: {$ VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 h3 C# g) H- ~+ _$ ?* P7 ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
: n* B, g; r' u+ t' ^0 N- supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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; H' G% `0 A3 {4 bPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ I& Y8 T3 a0 G& nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) A& [6 N9 ?  ~8 J  Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 ~. r' C! I$ J/ E8 @$ M% b# Hof the assumption that college will help them
. {6 v; m/ u+ _* v7 a4 w$ cbecome financially independent.
; @/ D3 l; H: p/ HWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# ~3 ~1 t0 d5 k9 z: ~- C( kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 Q- d+ B8 ?* N& a4 X$ ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  [' E) O  Z2 i& b6 jBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" ~& J" B0 A7 J/ t; ^0 D2 lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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" q" G: v" R* G3 y/ _$ c4 ?for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: P0 |5 j& y. c9 ?* I5 V& D$ nletting them know they are appreciated
# z* `7 B* P! p7 Lfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: P: N' t7 k" g6 h  l6 [$ ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.