Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# B- v% P( i$ d6 s# p0 I& rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 r5 P9 R; p& p5 e+ ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ \/ G. C! |! V" j

* L9 Q/ Y5 |; {JOB DESCRIPTION:
7 E7 t/ [# ?& P" S' {Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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* Z" Z* p0 ^  W9 C) Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' j( `. c, G. X6 Band organizational skills and be willing to work
0 i( ~/ t' y; N, nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: y8 S& O9 D& C, m7 hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! o8 x+ H- R4 i! n) NExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# C4 i: r) I9 R2 C( ^# {+ HMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 J9 l1 Y  r& f& g0 b5 d7 J) |: S# oin case, this time, the screams from
0 f6 F2 i7 B/ othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 s' A7 d/ w8 `" P7 C. z. uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" H7 r( Z' ?' V  yMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ S8 g" `4 u  L3 K4 B6 u) E, YMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& ~! R0 ]& C5 z* b$ jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& M5 N# u: S' f! O$ _None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% e+ n+ ]1 g0 wcan ultimately surpass you.


1 D9 y3 E5 ]" l9 `6 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 H6 ^; K; }1 T, @None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. o/ S6 c6 [" N$ D- p, j+ I& e5 |Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 J4 u4 ~' {9 ?* w  e( mof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 N, S5 A& |1 r0 ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  R5 R+ F- R8 a+ e" Qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) s8 v" [; \' r2 Zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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4 b" T  m/ P" \! x, [4 g& u5 }0 k
+ c: {- `# F. ]1 {/ M
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

, w7 O& W2 Z$ t- i
( T# W) l: J" ]9 Q7 W9 r  X* A
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% d3 W7 w$ k) [, k2 E& m) Eor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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8 X1 f; t- [6 h. U

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.