Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: H0 c: o) u$ U% F* `( P. OMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 p9 a5 D0 U) m! U# EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


, @+ z6 |$ T3 v. Y: M% h: T0 WJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 ~/ z) O- j. A: ~# I, M/ FLong term, team players needed for challenging,

9 x. B2 s# \3 E5 Bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 M8 D8 K, }6 A( u1 H* d) Aand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  D* ?6 u' m& m6 X0 p) jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- n1 n: U* Q  Q7 [- XSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& G. S' [  Y: _; A# E4 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, A9 V# w' q+ K% \$ q& wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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! I& ]: ]" y6 T5 G1 @RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, \4 Q1 F1 }) P- FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- N+ w1 d# K+ J5 _until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 @# j7 t& G  v6 t5 eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( T$ D9 `+ U& z- F' Z: h0 Z+ T+ b4 Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
% L, c. y1 _, v- _+ Cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ o: K+ E% x. EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% X8 p% [  ~2 R7 R- W, A4 dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* S+ u% \' j2 p5 l3 v8 {( I0 `+ thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
/ f& ~8 O8 x3 m: d: `# o* oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

) j4 s: ^' d$ ?0 x0 j1 qPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 y3 A; q9 n& U. ZNone.
* T0 n0 K8 `( tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) \4 s& L# m) Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& w" D8 O- F3 x5 [% F( C' l1 W( \can ultimately surpass you.


/ j# F/ d/ u5 H' L* ]PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' t  f" Z- x/ E5 cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 w) N7 \+ |" V8 L1 q5 i1 k' Vof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! n6 Y$ B( A% F0 g6 @3 ~The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
3 x+ z; X) z+ G! z9 Z; d' K3 P7 SWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" }9 W3 R% ]0 s* t( i. Ino stock options are offered,
* q& a' P1 Q/ h! k; H( [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" O0 D: {0 e! R* A6 t( A
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

" M; ~+ \, F4 M" s; n  _. S' Tfor life if you play your cards right.
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; D1 ^, f# l6 M& e5 w. P* f$ [; M" X


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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8 W8 L' `2 N: I- C* h/ m1 b
2 B+ t: I, G" a- ]Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: o# E6 V6 R- p0 Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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0 [0 |0 m$ Z% E9 w

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.