Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: B5 p2 ^8 e6 O6 Q3 a# c: rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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$ G) o: b& z+ U* `JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 q$ E$ ~+ ?; G7 Z8 y% p( U  B: RLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
$ q* Q% I, x$ [: Y  b  U3 jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 b9 z( |2 O9 Gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ c! p& y* p2 N& [- ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, k8 W5 k9 d% S9 d: W+ MTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& w! F% }) g/ U' b$ g& mExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 b  X$ }! [/ K& g" h" Duntil someone needs $5.
. u6 P( K# M/ M; J  ?3 U! AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- q; ]! Q) P: K% tAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 u: y1 o7 [5 v3 h1 V' K- E1 z% s% ~and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 q; v. G( }- N; O. s- xin case, this time, the screams from
8 L. l& D* n; N2 c, q7 uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, s8 ]  l" o  r, R+ X( c/ h6 rMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( q. R4 z- \+ p" s4 h6 vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( d! C+ Q7 N/ w$ `6 {+ Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 ]' T! v+ j2 E- G. W" F; dMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
# W1 q; ~' a( yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; M4 E4 i) C# W: ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 x# ~$ s' B$ J3 K$ x+ ~Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& d  m/ m: z2 H. cResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 A% p/ u) I. jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) Z6 j# H0 Y3 v* x) V, W9 P( T) }+ xcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ h( C% t+ B) H7 h) P# _4 ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
2 H" C( M3 Z5 o1 `1 IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' |" a+ ^2 o6 `1 K% O+ Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 w; E9 D2 D1 I8 @+ U6 u# B! w5 \0 Sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" f: c: p3 ^6 n: Q3 \+ s. R- ]% m
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& \5 O# ]# N7 I) n4 h
: B8 t  D4 B& x% |& @2 _6 H0 Yfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 x9 S+ B9 {. b2 l! h( |
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.