Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! h' o1 w6 `# @0 a& vMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- v* U, C* [5 t- l* G# {9 iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" C- k* `6 |! c' ?JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 p) \' q) n/ L3 w) @" ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,

- M2 T: q+ j$ b3 o6 Epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; B; T; K4 {. H  j& WCandidates must possess excellent communication
9 T6 s  ~5 u# Z$ [( c6 ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
; T# O' @, l% J9 u' {" Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  m1 n, a/ m( @9 \. w3 y0 ISome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ y" ^4 f8 L- l* R% N2 Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 Z' H& J" s8 f5 \& }Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 R3 Q1 E8 }% L! `, T+ XExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 y" `  u9 U4 O* m/ guntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: t- b2 T; D9 j- F2 h4 x1 r: r+ r# Y* qAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* E& B0 z. B* [* L, `) p6 {  WMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ o8 p6 j/ u  G6 V7 gand stuck zippers.
/ ?, z, e. v% m. X0 V7 JMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 i  L9 P( d/ O; P" Mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 r3 B+ |* h4 k7 U1 |2 oMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 P# p+ g$ C' U0 C4 d6 cMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! `; ^$ V$ p" o9 ~+ _/ Han embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 Q$ m4 j2 B. k/ [+ x+ Ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 E# d, ~# M7 O) B7 }- h9 ?Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 m6 O$ z: J5 e# H1 |( Q1 D! Gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' D8 @- D8 Z2 m9 `# X2 M& c( sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

7 [* _9 J$ Q. f5 u) x0 B. KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 ]4 w0 B0 j. M+ y  b" kPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' i3 V  I* g& m- c/ g- M2 a3 n: Q' @/ HNone required, unfortunately.
0 n7 |' C: B) [/ O5 B. _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
% J$ s, G+ B$ b0 a1 eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
  ~$ Y2 u  Q  I0 ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ Y( g" h5 F3 P6 i6 N4 Kof the assumption that college will help them
6 T) E! h$ f' ?: j2 nbecome financially independent.
6 N+ u% F/ C" {/ g% r* eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( H* }0 p. A, @/ ^4 v# WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 P; z4 a2 y. b4 J2 y' iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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) e: j/ `3 J! F; HBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- k8 Q$ b! h/ \- R: P* gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& }0 Z) _" J2 Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) B6 H- ?; e. e$ ?for life if you play your cards right.

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) L. ?. S7 p+ h' K3 N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, F: `3 l* S! V$ X; x& @% i# Kletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
' }: ^# ~4 o5 H9 C$ B' Dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.