Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
# G% {9 E. P+ i& i' |5 }( q! v$ rLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- D5 l' F2 d) B9 zCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' B) P+ h7 K) X& H; ~* `. B$ ISome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ O1 a7 T# Z/ M- {) @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( o6 L) D9 ^7 V2 w9 }) f; |( ^. h3 `Extensive courier duties also required.

/ N5 T- {: L. o! P9 W; ^. ?# ~, {3 dRESPONSIBILITIES:
, o% L1 E8 u% |3 h* o! `5 _The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 k$ s) n8 }- a6 }5 e( h( K, Q; h/ hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* H2 K; b# k/ k% W  V' D# sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. k4 g7 C- G" R1 T; iand stuck zippers.
7 d# ?- _  W' C+ D0 CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' _& \) J  H& f8 \, z, [9 EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 p  |. a# r  \an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) }! g2 t% s0 ^! `- P6 l7 H/ W7 I5 ]0 thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ ^) \. Y/ y, P: H+ W9 LMust assume final, complete accountability for
; F" p0 T# ~" a# m8 othe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, c' M  O) Q2 Q+ \janitorial work  throughout the facility.
0 S  i6 A$ I5 A
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 p4 m7 T  J  g& F4 p# m5 zNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& r5 \9 N4 q, C* T+ [! _0 N3 O9 B; q; [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 |# m: {$ P5 v6 \6 Y( ^: aGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ P, M0 @: V' s" v7 Zof the assumption that college will help them
# k  N5 j3 J; j- v' S$ ?( Ybecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# V* C4 \  d  w* Y* |* D/ D1 AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. ]7 f+ N! _* f( D' |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
( J" Z8 _1 u6 n4 S" c- p! f# Y" P7 i: D
BENEFITS:
4 c) b+ E: V+ L. Q$ N' l6 D9 OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: U0 L; x6 S  E  b' Z& m& K: eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
: E0 w! n! \" M
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 M5 Z( a5 M' p- y3 x
for life if you play your cards right.



" L/ A6 D% s3 @+ W+ y( i; l% @
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

$ i+ m" q( Q! @5 Z3 I( {- p

0 {" e0 ^) `0 @5 I6 yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. l: j# Q8 P) ]2 |* p( zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 B) w' Y# n" f+ Vor forward with love
% }9 B; p- b% l. S" l+ R0 |4 n) bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.