Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 f$ t9 b* N( d& {% I2 _9 FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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$ I0 s3 O0 o. M& ?( ~3 q+ u3 vJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

  Y7 ^0 {# R5 k- B/ L/ y# d3 Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' c. s% P5 H9 G- B- w* G; OCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 W/ M  e/ y4 L2 D: cSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
- x0 W: f! a+ a( _+ E4 L/ M& RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 X% j( H7 z* }( T) Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, ]! z4 A8 Q. _5 R% Z1 q, l0 \in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  K7 f7 A2 l' ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 T: y' o" x% g( ?; K* d; U) FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# q3 i2 ?* S9 Aan embarrassment the next.
5 j7 b- f& l6 p) Q2 V; }  v: W. R, uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ m! a$ d8 n' H$ M2 b. u! vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ {0 _9 h7 |* R9 J* AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
7 F: e4 p4 }) p; O- }( pResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% |, y, @) Q0 S# `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) x, ~, n* x2 O8 X. GNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" A( K; B% v( vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 l) p7 P+ J& G( z- F7 h/ Q4 I, \( ^None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- C# W, Y' Z& P8 j, t+ K8 JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
4 A. v+ n8 D& X, x+ J! r2 Y0 hbecome financially independent.
! O1 e/ B4 O% q- ?6 LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# g* }! ^$ d: \1 ~& o* \: I* Q3 Y) {The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 ?/ ^, f/ T1 W# a1 I; e) w" d. Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 Q+ g0 i( `6 k4 x/ e( b7 i
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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  K- c$ a+ T- P6 H; a' B

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& Z$ x; B; K2 u# h. e2 w; k** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" P5 o: b6 b! S+ I% RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.