 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
t; o `( U: FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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& ~3 C3 _2 ]( r' O, }" hJOB DESCRIPTION:6 I2 L# `% L5 U0 k6 G
Long term, team players needed for challenging,4 [7 U# |( D# ]* W F
1 Q, D! b6 S* r0 Xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 0 a# c" u7 z$ r" w$ l0 r. I! L8 \
Candidates must possess excellent communication & ]5 |* H5 x3 Y7 l
and organizational skills and be willing to work + N j" J' U2 b5 p
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 {( M* R) n$ X2 {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. . M3 h n" ^# j0 F# g W3 E/ c
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
8 x8 \0 i" Y6 i( K! |* [- Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 4 o, X5 P% g/ ` E
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" L( W6 \( E) s2 H% \0 iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ d7 ~' z9 u! {) q9 I' bExtensive courier duties also required. ! k- D& Y+ K6 }2 B4 \6 y6 E
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Q1 T$ @$ Q- h: t; p; Y; v' mThe rest of your life. 8 T! S! f6 A ^
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ v5 X3 k3 \% c* p8 Q8 i8 |until someone needs $5. C, Z! }7 \" P( @% D0 |
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ' E+ r$ [: N- S+ h/ i, |
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# n/ P5 R/ U' m% Q2 k" eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 6 z3 D' i2 @' h+ R+ W- o
in case, this time, the screams from 9 C5 O8 M- M3 O5 W ^
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. - A5 J6 u9 }0 ~. {: |- S
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' X& S, Y1 B2 V0 B# c
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets - J1 `0 n a- n t4 ^
and stuck zippers. # F' P5 u! ?. E2 d
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 a9 W$ U" g8 t) E V' ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' t5 n# l7 N6 j* I- WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 8 D, P1 n% Z+ o; H; K. m
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( O2 n; ?1 U2 _8 K6 tan embarrassment the next. . E; G0 t/ a; z5 V' h! Z* ]
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. a/ l$ x( C! b7 Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 k, c4 m- W3 T" d6 g& Z, LMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. $ C- A5 h8 u1 F1 H- ?
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 o( V! K5 e+ lthe quality of the end product. 6 H! @# L, G, S/ ^" o, t- {
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and / K" M% R3 n9 R# ]1 U/ E' Q
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:( G+ }* a/ e3 n
None. ) J# C8 K0 [2 A
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 C( n# S: x4 iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and & ^9 }0 ?/ }( C' t, B6 M, r6 o9 [" n" E
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, `+ e2 ]! Y& W k* E2 wcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ l8 Y5 R7 k U, c0 G) H4 jNone required, unfortunately. 1 b6 ]0 Z( S) M* g& [
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 3 y; d% t9 \4 M; P
8 Y! e& s; a. f7 Y2 R( pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% H: C! K$ z% I1 U8 PGet this! You pay them!
R) Z: Z; G: y) V# l6 POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
' U" n- w/ z# d. ]a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because : i7 _# N: F/ P; u. k. m
of the assumption that college will help them
* Z$ ~/ U1 n# K9 |( Xbecome financially independent. 3 p& r" p( y4 T& f
When you die, you give them whatever is left. ) t* R( q) _6 ~' G# b
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ' Q3 v; m# w- l# Q
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 6 k7 ?- I4 s( p! t# P7 L( Y/ k
; O7 Z2 W$ I: ZBENEFITS: " e5 G& R; _7 g ]9 E) @3 V
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ! p0 X" L. Q5 u9 e! _
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( w- A% A/ A! ~2 Z2 P7 fno stock options are offered,
7 D; |$ U" i. M7 `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 4 v& ?3 R& j) I; f% Y
/ r% i: [' I! _7 y; ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 W9 m3 `- a l7 Q5 V& h w' w, _$ I7 ]. ?( V& E. I. f* ~! }
for life if you play your cards right.0 A2 Z7 @+ H$ S- t7 I9 B
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6 F8 S0 z" d: i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **& m: q6 \9 Y0 h8 r7 |0 z, C
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# K9 K1 C) F0 G" Q3 FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; t( _# F6 @ P6 K0 h1 x6 yletting them know they are appreciated : V( r$ T1 v. {* F1 ~# Q& Q" v
for the fabulous job they do... 7 c& Y6 N0 N0 A# \' u
or forward with love + o" t& K2 Y5 u G) Z6 x. ~
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.) z. ~ H# k1 F( F
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
