Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) [/ K0 o% Z8 i1 {# w! E& a# @Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( J4 f- i6 U) KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ ]! Z# J8 u# o7 |' n# r8 }( Y1 I
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
, Q1 u1 v, C, ]4 ]/ P9 X7 K/ }
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' r$ }& B5 v2 O6 d( m# Z( m! q: i. dCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% f7 ~3 Y' M" t; V6 V# mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 M5 r( t  i9 m! e# X. u' mTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ ~8 I  b. P2 z& Funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. B. H. u' i+ ?) ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; W1 o4 _- P: Y7 din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 [$ y; \( T  j7 t( h) eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 _! j4 g5 \% ^and stuck zippers.
2 a) F* t, }' [: z0 z/ jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 P* n; Q% p9 WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 f3 y  g3 n/ s7 h8 ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 W, h4 _7 {! ^an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% M* U5 }* W. w3 ]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ q& n' A; i  E! S' B+ M$ pMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 W9 Q2 `/ l& K" ]; }0 [* }Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& Q9 B) W' {" M' ~7 \janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: f0 }* h! j$ [# G  q8 @without complaining,constantly retraining and
, ]1 j( R! w6 J; \8 J( P) hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* o1 U$ O; m: u) eNone required, unfortunately.
7 K# Y6 v! b6 g. I/ cOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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3 ?1 K" u2 p. m- e, @/ K) lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 L! }$ \" \- _, X' QGet this! You pay them!
# o8 p- X. B. @) EOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 }! J0 P! S2 J  Ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 o) ^- d8 t0 c3 }; a+ H: c/ Wbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% X0 d# m( p8 I) v! S0 ^/ @+ u; rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
! n2 Z5 H3 m, c8 M% B9 l# jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ U2 I0 A* e8 c' [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; [) X: u3 q& @3 Y& @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 N+ H7 s! _7 u3 Z- V
7 k& A# U" K) W/ o3 Iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) N7 N) t) J! ^
  W+ h" f3 ?8 f& PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, j4 ~  F* f( B+ h& _9 wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.