埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2985|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:( v" u: F4 b7 k. ?: V
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 I" ^4 |% e$ e8 r. oDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
' Y1 W, J* Y5 l+ _* [/ o7 M

+ P2 B/ [' Y6 U; @/ R
# u! a5 X; V: `" A0 uJOB DESCRIPTION:/ a$ V* H4 S/ A7 b
Long term, team players needed for challenging,( m6 u+ ^3 p8 Z& N+ G; N
* _% x! D! y9 \0 l
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 Q1 ]; v2 o* U& ^Candidates must possess excellent communication : ]& ^6 [: q8 K$ [
and organizational skills and be willing to work 6 j& [9 Z0 x! b+ g8 u6 x
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) b5 Y. t3 y- N: d5 D3 E" l) e7 Q* Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 e% O  ~% [3 b1 N6 F2 A9 h, ?4 j$ _Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, F" p, ?/ H2 {8 }' e$ Z7 Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 2 |8 B9 X, M) N1 O1 b* h* I# u" _
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! ; z, g- X/ N- h* O2 H. z- L
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# M0 r* L+ o) q9 y* C1 k! UExtensive courier duties also required.
0 l" {& x6 N9 u  h+ z. b% L, K( q( a# ]' c) j
RESPONSIBILITIES:- p+ a* Q! U2 v4 _- k6 u) S
The rest of your life.
" a$ f" E7 i( [1 lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ C/ \# G4 z4 U# \until someone needs $5. % M9 b" Z- T: L: b* Z
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  e5 E- d& L* G! {7 y$ z" ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" L$ c; v) A5 s' I9 A4 U* gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; J; f' x# C' b5 Z, lin case, this time, the screams from
8 O6 W" g. K  a+ \" @4 F" |5 rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. - j0 a; e1 L+ L# f5 G
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; ^/ i/ m! i! a7 x' I5 zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets   e8 |  |: s7 _( z! q
and stuck zippers.
- b" [% d7 p0 K7 i1 gMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ l5 |) n; M$ n2 _7 \coordinate production of multiple homework projects. $ ], i# Q, R6 C! B3 q! g
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ ]1 w& |+ ]9 G  YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 c7 |. g$ a, D# ean embarrassment the next.
3 L3 Y* m9 X5 xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% \6 Q. N( K, bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' _' X* z9 ^0 u, d/ a8 g3 [+ ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ M$ Y% l, r6 c: k+ {8 rMust assume final, complete accountability for 2 e% T8 J3 b$ {& {, }9 ~6 C
the quality of the end product.
% Z0 Z( C: V$ o+ q7 Z* k! I* N9 QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and ! h' b, t9 ]/ v  }( z
janitorial work  throughout the facility. * u$ U- J" \2 b5 X8 z

* O2 c' d1 j/ |% L% H5 k- vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:2 c9 I! L$ k2 p! D
None. ' k/ C7 f  ?% D  E: K" y4 X7 n: m  B
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, " {! Q# K3 [$ v5 Q( U
without complaining,constantly retraining and
; `$ Y5 ?; `& \updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ c% P6 c' n7 `! kcan ultimately surpass you.
; K7 y& v3 O4 d' J$ i( p# L0 b1 O6 O: T

* s% W. Y# _0 T% N$ ~1 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; H( ]4 O) N5 t8 g4 V! ANone required, unfortunately.
8 W% J  }) }7 V) `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
- F# X" _7 p5 `5 G7 W; x/ G
" C5 ^7 }/ f; Z1 N% c) ?2 B4 W9 [. JWAGES AND COMPENSATION: % E! I- Y4 ^) X4 K' i
Get this! You pay them!
" V5 N9 b( o* k) H4 ?% ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) ~- _7 t, N" i9 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because & c; @- W) `& m
of the assumption that college will help them ( h5 m9 }3 R; U2 q: J$ t
become financially independent.
3 d1 ]1 P8 N6 N  rWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 9 c1 [6 k1 i, S6 ?; C( e
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 Y0 N( p1 a  s5 V2 I0 jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 6 |5 y7 p4 |7 E/ V& f$ `
8 ~, ?! V* j0 [' n7 m
BENEFITS: 8 n+ l: k' q/ M% v
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, , i0 ?; C# I: }# E" }3 S" ]! M
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ' g  H$ \2 u. P, ~+ t
no stock options are offered,
3 U1 {4 s9 S% W2 w# Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- [, \' V% o; H# Z$ L, j, ?
0 W3 J- `0 ]1 ?4 K5 zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
% x0 I( H2 w$ l7 o6 _$ F( I& ?: Z' |& S# |' s7 j' Y: M/ Z
for life if you play your cards right.' ]1 \% Y3 {2 ^1 I9 F( J! U9 h

) v: r9 B' N  M/ a& O$ d7 g$ `4 T 1 ?* ]  J/ T( u3 g! O

, A( [% y1 D: r; {+ F# f( ~' g. q3 H8 t' c2 U: z2 O
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **. R: Y5 a$ Z( o5 H# i

2 Q1 L9 C! V6 u' [' o& y/ c3 a) y9 d4 u
6 t6 \2 W6 _! s( s6 }# i/ ~/ y" V: X3 C5 z" N4 U
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 N0 ~! s) I% u, _% C2 Bletting them know they are appreciated " i, h+ e9 o6 g* f3 \* T$ U& f
for the fabulous job they do...
  k. p4 i3 P) v1 F9 wor forward with love
' E% f% ?+ s3 Y+ z: kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.+ f# ]* Z" y5 C' I  y

+ |! S) R8 _$ i8 `, P0 S
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-1-20 13:28 , Processed in 0.160956 second(s), 14 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表