Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
; b. t8 v$ x$ n0 n! S" r5 M3 v( yLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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( z% t+ L% i8 bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. w; J" [7 F/ D' D* Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) o' w! F' a6 o  r& dThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 @* }8 L$ B' B0 f8 X- G$ JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& T5 h* y6 N0 RAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ {  {" @8 u* q* Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
5 u: @) l  S" m7 _: p( Z1 lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* X' W. S' O' \' Z; b, `+ XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( s2 S% S. H; W2 Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 L; P- @8 F/ ?  K; G5 ^; R0 XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. q! q6 J: Y, m6 h4 Y$ h4 ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" J7 B( a) \6 G; u3 a& `" CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ ]( L8 A4 S* j) M7 Y2 ]( U, kan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 h' H& q. c) N1 t3 `1 Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

( c6 _# F. c0 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ x* m3 n1 R) D3 VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ Q: G2 \1 A& ^* ?, ?) Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) a$ h( K0 \& E/ {4 B( G7 Q  S: hcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# y' y  D. o& f7 V- G. HNone required, unfortunately.
0 N) z( K; w- L  U) S8 k- I1 W6 j- kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' }4 W! y, @; NOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( s+ v( `4 ^2 xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ s; S% l; E* gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( w1 u* \& N* N, XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% o+ ?  ~, Y" Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 I; L% h$ f! P6 t8 Z: k4 dno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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' h: U- {# {5 m" Y' ^0 g' Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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; o6 u& y9 a2 t1 {Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" r; J7 w8 h' Aletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.