 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma + O2 Y% r% F+ f# B4 ^ d4 s, P2 g
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa0 U0 d& V0 n% ~. N) V6 ?
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JOB DESCRIPTION:$ }& K' t" M1 F
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: V T1 L% t% I6 T" p4 m2 eCandidates must possess excellent communication
0 j$ T5 j: [5 Z. h& M( @( xand organizational skills and be willing to work 8 `; X" \; m" N5 W
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends + d i+ ?$ I2 `8 n
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 9 k7 x+ }/ F) d
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 1 S; W$ \9 M# n
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 P3 Q4 e" p5 c! U. `: i2 ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ D; q u; Z2 Q! STravel expenses not reimbursed.
7 w$ @/ f# v7 A7 C" ]Extensive courier duties also required. ( Q! x+ V6 `9 Q
) z1 m W. y$ u0 IRESPONSIBILITIES:9 g- O5 p5 ~1 R- l* N, r
The rest of your life. 3 M. ^0 a" P% ^7 [
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 V6 W% t; D% I# Y# {$ v5 d8 a9 \until someone needs $5.
: A/ @. j r5 |" O9 ^* t% eMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 x4 z/ F. O- G3 C; c4 t) `! @Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 4 u( l, \+ [2 q" T$ B2 [
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 X6 y* y( Y5 [4 kin case, this time, the screams from % l8 |/ B/ K6 w2 t- n
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 8 Z$ |& e/ S8 ]# [$ m
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 O8 G5 ^3 _8 b, m# `# Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 5 T) [' y& Y/ G! T5 M" U$ x
and stuck zippers. + O3 W9 @$ C5 B h9 ?7 [
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% f8 G* V% x# j0 A$ ^! acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 ~5 F( W' a+ U! S* }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 9 E$ J. z0 [, t& ^' C
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, # A/ v5 `* G) J3 H
an embarrassment the next.
& ]: ~& A& a1 X, \9 k0 N/ nMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; F ?/ ~8 c7 K( `# H7 Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. - y. p$ d. ~' M, Z8 c4 r: y$ W
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 1 S' I# J$ H# b4 q7 }. ^8 F; ~) ], H
Must assume final, complete accountability for 9 |: ?3 V6 }5 D5 u5 B4 Y
the quality of the end product. . A( @* T3 v6 z2 P! i9 f9 X& m" \1 K
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 2 K6 d: C/ H( R. u2 k" y
janitorial work throughout the facility. 2 Q- `/ f% G- M
2 W. ]' \4 W3 L# _ p, ]. Y6 H9 TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:* x O6 Y! @' o
None. + ]+ X3 d5 T- n% h0 [/ O) d- p5 K6 F6 s
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; |( F: A5 R% D+ T2 ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and # ~5 q4 H! u' y3 M* I9 O% D4 a
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ' E5 w+ P. S6 J8 M+ X
can ultimately surpass you.; `) q( _8 D. P- D" U# H; l9 [, v
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: . f9 c! t6 x4 I1 Z0 J& S. C3 k: j
None required, unfortunately. + @3 m8 O4 o% V d1 k( b
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. # D7 P5 R; M$ p# {$ y! d+ K
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: * n. S" h* M" q) U
Get this! You pay them! , x2 |. V6 n+ ?
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 5 x2 u9 ?; x5 x$ O6 m3 [6 l
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because $ }8 i; V) \. d
of the assumption that college will help them + i+ ~% l- k# R; Z. i* L
become financially independent. % i4 y0 w9 ?% g" w, ?
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 4 ]* v1 j( d% \; q. Z2 [& x
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! X3 H/ |: Y' G$ b, L' ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 3 } W9 b- J+ T6 S, V. _, q' t) j
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BENEFITS: 2 w8 P0 J' N+ `5 T2 ]
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ! m( M6 c1 @. n8 R* u5 s7 e# F2 Z
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 U: l0 l6 n5 T d( A# P$ K6 Pno stock options are offered,
1 B8 U3 a U, Y5 kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* I$ o$ E: o5 p b% O/ _: ^, L) Bfor life if you play your cards right.
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" ]5 ?4 r2 @( a5 m/ k% w* i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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f. l" X8 s2 N/ hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ! g" _0 S+ |) k5 w" X
letting them know they are appreciated
0 V. c7 I5 z+ {3 V4 B% v2 cfor the fabulous job they do... ) Q. T4 O Q- z8 Z, N b7 ^
or forward with love
* Z- X2 T9 X! B. n/ M6 h5 t# Y+ F5 mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
