Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
, J/ a. o4 g6 d+ c. SLong term, team players needed for challenging,

! }, r& x% ]! S6 gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 b5 d3 Q6 `3 Q2 Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ J6 Q' b7 ~- uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 A! a* L' U6 n1 W9 tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: O2 @2 P8 n! T1 |( z8 \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 M+ q2 Y- H+ h+ ?7 X" hThe rest of your life.
3 C3 b1 }' d3 B8 O4 XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: s6 R; I7 j. Muntil someone needs $5.
4 ^, U8 e8 B' x; r& ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# S3 }: g: x6 j  band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% F5 A6 N$ o4 i% @4 _6 ain case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% ?: ~  x3 h, c) s! n/ Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  |  ^1 X1 \/ }# j* l4 B1 zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 V$ F# N; s# Scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' d% C5 n+ U4 L4 n" g2 o7 S; {* [Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% d8 p1 A/ f4 ?1 Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ P! {" u! @2 dMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( m  l" ~, e$ \, Z- J! {7 p( Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
! `, @- ]7 `) U/ V
& j) ~  f( @7 v5 B* gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
3 u# T3 M" T, [( c8 F3 Z1 x! Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 c) @& O! P# B! o% Gcan ultimately surpass you.
& M' e4 n$ h2 _8 Q) w
+ m6 c# P: m3 n; b5 h8 D
! v' m, z( b2 Y  e" E  o/ G# NPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ N% k! n" e( K( B1 S! jNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  |6 \& y) V2 I) z9 ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
7 f, m' n, F7 u4 Gbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
( P# u6 u) S1 F$ L
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! c5 b+ {2 v* Bno stock options are offered,
1 _- F+ A) v0 x) r; i" ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( W7 ^$ g: a* f
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ R4 }' f) ]' a7 o
for life if you play your cards right.

! h5 F6 P' m3 U) ^% q
6 ^# a, L, c) z, w

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
& U' _2 k0 ^  }; j) Y5 I2 o  ]


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 q, L; P" U+ f: gfor the fabulous job they do...
6 a1 Y4 n& c" t  n% Sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
% I* n  P/ e* j* p) S8 [2 D

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.