Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% w& I# q$ }! c( Q  vMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 T0 m2 h; f% ODad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; R. m2 r. B0 eCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 y! r+ ~2 ~1 xand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" C* R& g' D, S7 Y& d3 }" |Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( d$ s: M# F* N  a& Q) qExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 b+ }& F( g: v4 y( H% Yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' x7 g0 D$ J# D/ c: [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' B, @: c5 W) Z- iin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! e  q; i# B) L8 y: p0 E2 c! J* csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 m; o9 ~; @  mand stuck zippers.
, l. f3 N! C2 [, ?0 M" r2 BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 w5 B! z8 {6 M( Z) d! dMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 b: U5 @( {+ w% }. H& t4 UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% o& Y# i/ U! V7 xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ M( o3 }1 k6 P6 C+ v; X( ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
( r/ c! D* n! r& RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% E8 W! U. l  Q' s/ L8 Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.

, n/ |1 p4 f3 P, A& X: J" `, OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 R3 V& j2 g8 h' T1 p+ a7 HNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
/ x/ r' [& L$ z/ U# G

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: U! K. m) \  Y! N& g8 d$ c+ `( s' m: wNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
0 C9 y- S9 ]6 O* D& s
5 y. J$ Z9 l0 |+ rWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 H0 o' L/ o4 t5 c( q  o& K' Q6 h5 T& HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 }* ?, M- I2 ^" e, Y- D( ?; w9 \When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' w6 u( V% _+ U: W% _0 A+ n; Gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* i- k" v( H0 |4 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
+ K; U$ h1 Z9 {7 vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 }5 R! A) f1 c2 E% kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
7 z" D' b9 i- e8 M2 B, {; N# T' S

: m7 R- c. x4 f* H

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
: z  [! h6 N: E9 y2 `' k


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
" _9 z' y& _; E* k- Dfor the fabulous job they do...
- C6 s& w8 A( G! x) Aor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.