Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 ~& w6 m# j! Z) ^0 mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# A0 z7 {6 v. V1 g- W* mJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

8 {6 ~7 B2 f, v7 s0 ^$ ^permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ h4 h) V  \) V% j! XCandidates must possess excellent communication
1 h) h% f3 t9 _- W5 R& sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  O% F( w4 E, u7 C! F0 o9 E8 }# `9 Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 o9 b/ ^3 t: H# @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 Z8 \: s7 x5 @& W9 `endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 w1 |: ]# j3 r$ W# X2 V% _, ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
) W3 D; R  L8 X: ?+ n7 |/ zExtensive courier duties also required.
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" r- X1 `: g1 ?1 S* _3 gRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, H7 i! X" R; y4 Y/ \' V5 Z5 TMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
  a# u# z6 _% C1 {the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ t' w2 X5 K0 D. O: i" o' Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; @( Z7 f+ d- R- f, ?and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 F  ]. P  f7 F2 S) ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 @5 X; T$ u) FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% M9 r+ B1 b& \3 [Must assume final, complete accountability for
& R1 d+ f  ^# B$ \% ~5 xthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, W1 f# A2 \3 [& @8 Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! J* g3 `. N% D' m! k% ONone.
7 X! q8 w+ i% k& [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 j0 g# F. R. e& P3 ]6 e. `without complaining,constantly retraining and
" P- x# ~7 n# G  i. A  i- gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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" ^: v& h) {+ p0 o, e( w# XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" R: m0 l8 T' s6 l* Z" W- R( s& _None required, unfortunately.
8 |  ?7 W2 K9 |. kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! @: f9 L( O1 ~6 `: G) TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
* [' u6 X4 B& H/ {- e% va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% V$ y; P5 X# r  tof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 h, H$ @  Q! B) L  SBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: s, I  z3 C6 u  s( \no stock options are offered,
! M* b' A; D3 U, W3 C7 Z3 v5 t" Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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5 J; z3 h, g; m& ]; Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& j, m+ W$ H2 v' C2 D
" d7 [: ^( M  X% Ufor life if you play your cards right.


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  }# s* H1 n. r5 l** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
" Q* [: @: I& J+ S4 v. f0 }or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.