Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& ]3 u$ G3 d" {: ~( GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  W/ ~! D. P  K; wCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 C' o- \* ^! {" \/ ]  E. z9 r; aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
. l' C) g" k' \The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" V, T, C- R1 }. juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! w, _# h2 T/ `; O4 rin case, this time, the screams from
. W6 F. {. o5 x2 x1 D% Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* B" L! M# |# K( x. g. O# N$ w% qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: n( ]4 y1 t2 v* land stuck zippers.
$ R% E2 [, Y6 m$ z1 M* A$ GMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ ?" X7 y4 k+ t* z6 f- Y3 rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ A( S) c9 Q$ K( \& D& D3 gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- t  E/ B+ j- uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& S9 w8 ~, U* _7 A4 fan embarrassment the next.
& @; G* \& @8 L4 x# Z2 I7 FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! P. \; o3 U1 b8 SMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
$ i; U4 T7 F: U" g5 {- r% sResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: x* a. e/ U5 N% _& u9 C1 m/ T- ^8 i: njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: d/ e9 h  e, C0 K4 Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 \7 F6 X. g5 Bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ n2 l$ S2 Z# K( Ecan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* |* L* V0 W% n& {3 ~On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% w4 e) Q5 J/ [( sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 Y  u' y# U& {" [. `of the assumption that college will help them
) ]) F9 `8 ~2 h% \9 \become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; z; H: [, V; t, `; @The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* F, [7 B( j9 U4 Z5 E3 f# a) @% i% }you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- g; F, c1 P( F( s: [* b0 w! KBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; j* i8 W( l3 L  R" o( kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
+ h# k6 w5 I- }- ^
for life if you play your cards right.
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) Z/ V' z' A4 l7 p** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 A: S* ?  ~: f/ A3 C# `letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.