Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 V, \5 j# e! [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: x  O, b% Y- D  V4 K) M3 lCandidates must possess excellent communication
  j0 V/ J$ E- O& _$ u% U) xand organizational skills and be willing to work
) x/ a' x  [5 u! uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! x6 V, j% m) F! l/ Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. @3 e4 U1 T% M2 ETravel expenses not reimbursed.
" B) O! f. t' z: w2 AExtensive courier duties also required.
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: A! z. R! D& w8 Z7 [RESPONSIBILITIES:
" X( W; Z7 q9 ^The rest of your life.
% r) S2 }% e* @' L% E- bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 l0 ?7 ?; M* X" S1 D1 Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
2 A* H, c- q8 ^  m; _0 Kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" R+ J% w' d! RMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) v# p/ b: T  J1 m1 {2 b6 M! X3 fand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 I( }, I; w, c( s3 \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
4 r0 `2 k. W/ A9 m6 ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* ~; t+ t5 X: {2 H0 ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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' b% q- J; ?2 K$ P* D! q5 }8 p+ gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 ~6 k7 v* v& d% b' U; o. ENone.
, m5 M7 F9 q7 C; s9 ^8 c, zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 Y$ V! f. T+ H/ g4 g$ q# gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; I, q# O! u. R+ W" i! F9 ~: gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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' L; |9 S6 ~( `% qPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 K( d5 y) I4 TNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- M7 v( w. g' f' @) ^4 ~3 \( ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! |. s  Z5 Y6 @, y! J& bGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( v: q& e8 n8 |( d* IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 a; o. U/ K' R" G. K; Y5 o  CBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" j5 f0 s% s3 R/ vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 H  t: @0 m* Z2 ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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: V- l' B- P2 W2 ^4 m/ w" r7 e: `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 Z+ j% A$ R8 }7 \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 i  v9 h5 e9 j: `5 ~4 ?or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.