Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
! [7 i1 e- G/ @Long term, team players needed for challenging,

1 A8 G- r! ~% l; Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 G/ x4 t2 O! l, q, \* NCandidates must possess excellent communication
: o  |1 h. J- b+ |4 l9 M7 c( uand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# F5 Q' O/ Q/ H- A+ jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 H) B( \" C$ G- s0 j0 c' A; u4 oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, ^  |0 Y. e- f8 G4 W* {1 N3 bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
+ z8 h5 g3 h& I. l) R" oExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  }* F. E7 @4 R- L1 Sin case, this time, the screams from
* C) T, y! d6 L  E. j3 z. Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: P8 Q7 e. D2 U0 |2 I4 W+ v; wMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 N& t6 g1 L4 D1 Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  x* \3 y5 S4 |$ E2 M( a, Qand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 P1 r/ G0 Y) t( xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ ]% z! K; ~, o2 j  f% ?* k' n0 oMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ U7 P: ~4 N! q8 c( Uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- x" W# V, y: r, a3 whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( i) u# s; i- z0 |8 y4 I) OMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 T7 _! ^* G  F+ n% b* L: m( X$ A9 D, Tthe quality of the end product.
2 S  v$ {! i1 w* \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: {- c9 K& c" z1 J* |; ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, [! \- X+ p' Q0 g0 |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; J7 V3 C' z* P- i( aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
. y. W$ Z0 e  Z' Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 Y7 o, d4 e. ~" Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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" f6 b/ X6 z0 t: {0 l7 QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- Y  u, n! U# b- X1 K( ^, x8 i4 zNone required, unfortunately.
5 x+ ~; Z3 C2 a- X: t- X3 l" ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ o7 f; ~3 Z8 p9 [. m5 h$ Y4 XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 q1 t) o, o1 R. s" x$ l" R0 [Get this! You pay them!
: x( v0 j  V& UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 h* Z) X4 f( X+ r5 c8 LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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" \" ^% e8 }- e! c8 q6 NBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, |" o8 g: A# x( a5 Xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ @' N7 L; b, o) ~& @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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! [. ^" }1 a2 junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 ?( C/ S# c6 b4 L9 Nfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



8 P2 r0 [* i6 Y# N2 y2 PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 y0 q& q1 n7 D% U% [/ S4 _& Afor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.