Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ p1 x2 Y/ \* d- X$ wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
: \$ H/ _8 i/ w8 Q. q# [3 z

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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) S( g% j" B  `% h$ Q8 w& L8 Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) w3 x, Z5 h3 o# U! d' ]and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 H+ p- g7 R$ jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 e. O0 o- o/ Q1 v- }$ iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
7 _# x7 ]/ u/ T. F2 S, lExtensive courier duties also required.

; W$ i: e4 k& m! v+ \& Y# M" KRESPONSIBILITIES:
: _6 ~& ?& e/ c) _) ]" T0 N: ?2 G% iThe rest of your life.
& T  w& q& V) ?% F) q' T& W. G% xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
* _6 y- r: _0 M' Z( SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& `! o3 U; D$ T$ V" gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, o/ O  i5 e# \+ C5 |Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 s3 Y1 u/ `" g5 isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- J& ?( `! x( Y+ C7 Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ I8 c1 b/ o  w% V' M5 oan embarrassment the next.
# Y' R  Y5 C$ U' e% {Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& Z: T) ], v0 V- y# @6 FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ j: p; `- @1 U' T- ]Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
* e) O3 P* }+ j0 J; `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& V- T2 \9 ~; R& ~" `+ O; @janitorial work  throughout the facility.

: N3 F# N! \+ B. H; J- t$ K( oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- F$ g* r; \, [. KNone.
3 y8 D, G3 E& w' `* Q4 D9 sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
) ~3 m3 {9 Y1 H5 b2 m$ |; Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 {& u' G2 Z( D% u0 QNone required, unfortunately.
4 M5 M: t! X2 d5 LOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' A) h$ @- L- Y( [! t( RWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" R& o% e+ F7 B: s# p: ^4 k* W0 {  g& tGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ L5 q4 i# P" ^0 V) U- K0 X0 x! [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 A8 Z/ g! t  x, k& n; v& oof the assumption that college will help them
: p5 V6 ^( j% n- Q- ]) B4 kbecome financially independent.
/ Q0 p, K8 k4 u9 ]' ~0 z- x" UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 V% |0 I6 P8 F$ qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

% N6 J6 U# w; ?0 OBENEFITS:
3 H$ E6 N0 h; x# h6 _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( u) |. E( m" m7 y( uno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
3 _" L- l' C& t" o) m3 `
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



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# C2 {0 k; {/ G( ^% M- r** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

$ W. ^% |2 {, E  Y# a9 D7 P/ }

6 w- G) M+ s& `) j' a" R$ {+ AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, A8 G$ O9 ?  n. b$ I( k7 i" Pletting them know they are appreciated
! P  {7 i0 D+ x2 _3 i' {/ I0 {for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.