Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; a0 V$ r& C5 u0 AMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
! d% l! |: n/ G- Q' w. M& TLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 \: ~6 z9 ?! s1 _" t+ E. R# jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% B" w+ y5 r. z; [! Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
3 p: n8 A' d$ x( o4 Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, N3 G, t; E) b5 N& i8 P& V, }* f" \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ N* K2 f+ m; a9 j/ E: }# FExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ l" I/ @9 u/ @+ ^) BAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 b$ {+ a: i3 ?( @* i& E; U0 }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  v+ R8 j( X0 o( R, r! u6 vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# w! L+ h; `4 t9 y; v- kand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ q( h& e. r0 P) o  ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" _' i1 a1 e% ]$ t: o/ _6 Ran embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 b* [6 n! Z+ X" sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 {' [/ M* J/ T1 e  rthe quality of the end product.
9 J, c$ W& v7 o3 g4 _5 p* s- Y4 X( }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) j6 \  z3 {8 j& F, b( z! Zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, t& D' y9 r1 M6 z1 oNone.
/ ]) L- j; v# @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 q! o7 o! S3 Z: cNone required, unfortunately.
+ A3 F% k  h6 Z5 SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ a/ x8 e- _& T& N- z8 \# ^0 Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
. N5 X* M# y2 m7 ^: i/ u: Qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& n8 n, _" f- X3 @) s; s! u1 oThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 L" e. u) v3 byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- I7 I8 P( @* ^! G$ \8 \7 V7 LBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 [; g( E' l# X) F8 Q) s2 cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! n. D7 B# F" [5 Hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

( x3 D' b& M) u/ Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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! Y1 \7 E; S% d- s/ M9 }for life if you play your cards right.
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& u- s# _; Z/ F, n' F, h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 W2 Q5 {! t4 q# m% h( eletting them know they are appreciated
; u( n  L2 D) @1 \: O. p% w. Jfor the fabulous job they do...
# z5 ^" B3 W) p6 x+ @' U, r4 Mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.