Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 x! P- g0 s( U8 T9 L0 ?+ O9 d; V+ C, GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- c, j  E# u% x3 hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
( B: A" k! `# ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& p: ]& l7 r+ ZCandidates must possess excellent communication
; n3 R! C* t; Y9 n: B& jand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 p5 n+ k2 t, r) h# E$ ^+ uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 @$ l" Z" r/ [+ i( oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  y1 L5 s% Y. Q7 p. Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 ~# E0 W- {5 S+ ?! Y* p! sExtensive courier duties also required.

7 j, p; Z! t- U+ pRESPONSIBILITIES:
, S+ W( _8 M' J! n7 GThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; J, M, d& k+ ^6 V  `until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! r- t$ v1 y* y# T5 @* Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( ^! @7 |! {% w! s3 I2 m4 [in case, this time, the screams from
% W2 X/ y/ Y# s  P6 Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 F) U* V: u* [. Q$ dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
. S, j7 w4 \2 p' L/ {  M+ A( K  LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" v7 c& b# v& e" ^7 k& ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  I0 n: i) C$ M& s0 Z2 L2 UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( i8 a# t3 R* B7 K; h+ ~an embarrassment the next.
6 }$ C& b% c; u# n0 c" b4 \Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' F2 T; f  X4 W1 Phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 a5 x. w6 R/ q0 ~Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 s5 @- b/ F* ^Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
, |1 o$ V8 N5 ~/ l3 d) oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 o9 `  u! A6 Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" {* o7 |5 j6 [& e* Z" X$ L  L. dNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 D+ F% c5 J0 {; s1 X0 H! Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

/ M& [2 D0 x+ L
  z# E. k/ p7 a1 B. {. CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 r& B  _, n& RNone required, unfortunately.
! W+ z9 H1 n# ^3 j: q3 W5 e- m- qOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( M% i% D: |/ m- _0 D3 I: s) C  FGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! s1 n1 B! w% p) t" j5 Q/ y  wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; \7 C$ ^$ M' N7 J: ]1 m$ iof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 m# A. ]$ p& C* z+ n# C) [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
7 t2 s) R6 G! ?) e4 j; `
BENEFITS:
5 Z/ x8 p* n" a2 oWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ ]8 p5 e3 {9 N! M  L$ r$ C6 fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 V8 W$ h/ V7 Y' ?6 cno stock options are offered,
3 x6 |1 W3 ^+ @; x- Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ b0 f* K0 G! R  ]. }: zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



, r: B( O6 n/ x0 z
! M4 G& ?$ [) o# _8 \' d% V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



; n3 }' y9 \) v% O1 F$ dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; a+ V2 @+ |% z1 \. [; tletting them know they are appreciated
$ N& F, G" X# N& A8 P) `3 wfor the fabulous job they do...
$ t# ^9 D; }, W7 [or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
4 C# p- ?1 I5 {) R3 B+ F; H6 v
* [, Q. z; E0 B( C4 {9 y

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.