Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ m; e  `) G" P

JOB DESCRIPTION:
: z3 e0 n5 M, R0 V& H$ W- ULong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 F$ s+ K8 O9 L& Pand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 R9 y& M' V6 ?$ t6 C7 \4 _. `Extensive courier duties also required.
' t+ X6 M3 Y) x) ]) B' _
0 p8 R# b2 D( R9 T2 y; ?4 q; m5 RRESPONSIBILITIES:
. N8 W6 X( t+ A, w2 Q, N( A' I4 IThe rest of your life.
; n9 a) Z) K6 ^4 m2 X1 bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
0 x: v0 X# q$ WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& e, D- M+ J6 S  |/ LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" L1 h2 n( {8 Q; x; U, i; C/ din case, this time, the screams from
4 S$ Z. I: F4 Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 v+ z2 p* y  |Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& [7 t. W4 z; ~/ H! j% Nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" o& T, a& H* K9 N7 l8 HMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ n) e8 H* b9 X+ U% gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ V$ k& ^3 s2 g2 D6 bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 Q/ b6 Y8 T4 B: ~8 ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) |) e* B- H2 ]7 `% m: y  j4 xcan ultimately surpass you.


- J" f$ v) i; _$ ^6 JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% e9 Z0 |% n. W8 x: j  q/ {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* H+ F: N! k# w7 @4 n/ OGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ |5 ]8 B2 E* N; F- ~6 `of the assumption that college will help them
+ [& O4 y2 h' _$ E3 e3 l4 Mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; ?  Q4 n; s( o4 }. n8 O! d2 dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

6 q! L/ N- Z+ P1 t* ^: EBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 v6 Z2 x+ i0 ~: d4 ~' Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* X( N5 }4 V. f, eno stock options are offered,
/ l$ _5 G( `: U. c+ R- wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
" D5 E: ^# ]1 a
4 k$ \, |# J% S# w2 W5 o) i( ^$ t


$ W2 d- g6 T" \# w( H0 O2 l** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

* Y! y8 Y* @$ F0 p

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# \$ {) u, Z1 Z* I+ Dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- U2 N# j5 B, t8 V# Z- J* Qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

# n, ~8 O% C4 n2 A8 j/ S2 n" {

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.