Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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6 H* B& B; u# B( F3 m" s  wJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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9 k% p( o, S$ X0 I4 kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ k5 s# J- O  FCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 d% _( n$ s; Y7 }1 X' }8 a& p: Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& x9 ]9 c( j( GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
' f- u' A, a' O. uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 h, B6 s" w8 c9 q/ }' U. @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% J7 a4 r! T$ ]- fExtensive courier duties also required.

7 Q% H2 }8 L0 u, a, BRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& k( k, c: d0 x; |: z0 n. ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 f7 C" ^+ f( G* Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. _1 k) N) Y, a5 ]- @3 Y  Y2 v# [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, t1 W! t3 s2 o) U: T' o0 A  zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 N1 q9 @: z( W4 T# X" Jand stuck zippers.
8 S* ~4 r! y3 NMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 `9 t$ ?  r/ ~- G5 y+ L& pMust assume final, complete accountability for
) S1 w. E+ T' ]the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 a2 [$ L2 T$ _; Y' G1 t( jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! J. z7 Z2 z, V6 `- l6 Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
. b. d1 F9 E" g. u+ Gcan ultimately surpass you.
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9 o6 l  x, N& n4 i7 FPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* U) ^; s# C& n: C+ \0 rWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) r$ @7 C( P/ W3 M# D3 d2 POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 s, j1 n& f; o; }9 y, Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 _( p8 F2 I+ dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 U1 p$ a7 w" p; c) R% Y3 qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  ?3 c8 y/ K' s# L& t4 o$ S3 |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
  t2 W0 [4 A! zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ k$ c3 I9 n9 Z5 Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
- |# k( f, Z; ?# ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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; V$ T. a: |/ F0 J2 ~" K6 Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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  @2 Y, a8 e4 Sfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



/ |" d8 i2 _% @) ?6 n# J& gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
/ x5 F- D/ b' v3 ]8 jor forward with love
8 R9 I( P/ v1 M/ \. Bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.