Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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0 T2 B- C9 R; Y- f$ MJOB DESCRIPTION:
. N1 w. Y8 z3 c& b8 XLong term, team players needed for challenging,

, K" K% K$ Q1 A+ T+ v9 L: \  Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( Q9 J& G: F1 fCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 A: T1 j& d8 E4 [5 J: g7 m9 o; G9 nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  {# g" M& Y, ~- N1 r) i. oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  ]/ H5 j% g5 o1 @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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. ~$ \# p4 D+ W2 l) jRESPONSIBILITIES:
  O  q: I1 A* h" [The rest of your life.
9 R( ]4 ]3 C5 `* o9 tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 }0 [, h  P4 Huntil someone needs $5.
; R# ~. B3 ?" y, z8 A# XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 K5 {7 J$ A3 w# O/ W& Y6 Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* I% T  C0 C. }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 E) A- Q' f. x$ X. jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. c% X% P& p4 }9 D' Fand stuck zippers.
) p$ ^5 g, ?0 C- s* GMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! p# O4 f& K$ T0 i% d" `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# m5 ]. x- o; H! T) ]) x3 mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: `8 z+ x4 k1 p5 J2 [8 Pan embarrassment the next.
1 M* M1 T/ |- ]8 o0 V4 @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. Y' k9 F- K/ }2 Lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, W! S' g; X) ^$ k7 E: M+ ^: RMust assume final, complete accountability for
2 s7 D% [$ z! |! }$ x6 `; Vthe quality of the end product.
% G+ M" {' Q) B. XResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. L' S. v8 l3 j$ U$ Y$ `) j- ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.

& A* d- m1 W7 R3 r- n2 q4 TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) m9 g6 w$ B6 f/ {0 Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( c% {4 D/ [% K& ocan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. z! E+ i) Y) [1 M  e0 rNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 }# R4 `' z2 z# ]& x6 AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 m: Q. e  I0 l( rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

2 R" S& H  Y% a, t+ [  `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- m5 G& `3 C6 C  }8 k2 Ufor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 y2 W7 V$ l# r1 ?! vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.