Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% w+ b( r. \' G& t/ ]8 |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 V  _1 q- x) Z1 {( u, T( K$ C$ n, m1 ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ P1 y: J+ \7 [% D$ s' svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 I/ V" d1 c2 K1 a+ Mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 }; H  R' H' r, SExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 p! E2 x* O) e+ y$ B9 h) CThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ s5 Z  C7 `' uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 f$ C1 `) i, D; ^1 J" S- din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ a' O% Y( w& s8 P$ F3 B2 v/ oand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& r$ c. H( D/ O2 O1 [Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" r. o. E$ Y+ B  KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 \) @4 [# F2 @6 D& g. san embarrassment the next.
5 X/ n9 u$ P7 c7 A6 t; Q* uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ i0 x- Z5 a/ W5 ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! D- p0 x6 R7 o+ cMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 n; \* ^5 ]3 s3 K/ yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) V$ M# I7 N  J6 fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
2 Z1 p0 Q6 v; L. x. cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 S* d( ?7 ~% a2 g: Ccan ultimately surpass you.

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# e0 @  u+ x+ rPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! s1 D( D- t# G% D2 A: \" vOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 e. Y5 U! ]" @$ @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) p3 m" q# P: }2 `# VGet this! You pay them!
& p+ {" s$ C! m# `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 h4 }2 Z: j; C! ?) bThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 ]4 G1 V4 U2 |6 j$ H; fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ G& O6 k- Q) Q7 b) P+ F: I, c" W( uBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% T5 M' x8 p' `/ yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ N! x! N* H" \: Dno stock options are offered,
  `+ t) q' F% W* q1 tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

% t% ?" L2 ~7 M& Q& {/ Kfor life if you play your cards right.

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; n* I# n) N. u4 U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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% p% H1 i5 M9 W' c, i' l3 NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 _" m( u& q8 q" L+ q+ n* pletting them know they are appreciated
/ s+ z; u' u* F% ^0 f7 `# }6 ^for the fabulous job they do...
% d6 h' g+ H+ D1 r3 |* for forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.