Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
. M/ D# ]6 V+ Y; Q2 g  [! `, A
& n: [4 K+ L  s$ \& m9 }
1 q- `4 p* K$ H1 {6 rJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ v0 z$ m* i) N7 RLong term, team players needed for challenging,

3 M! ^: C- d* M1 A6 [, s$ rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 g/ S7 D7 _- N  oCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. U6 P2 K; i/ c6 X9 c: D* mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 U' x  W( ?7 t% D; }7 x6 hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 L8 h+ X" E- j0 B; J; p% ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
3 n* _' Z! u/ Q* D  o8 f
5 B8 y* Z( q+ Y; t' MRESPONSIBILITIES:
& c! E; C1 Y8 O8 q, SThe rest of your life.
. m8 W) @. u9 h8 p# Y+ ~8 BMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 A! o' D. ~, {, Cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* ^; ]# K, l) ]/ v$ r& u7 C7 K$ PAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  [8 \, p2 s2 K2 m& e: Wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ Q5 u! ]* {9 Lin case, this time, the screams from
! P7 b8 c4 V- Z% j9 `8 M! k( z5 hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 ]5 J5 H) M1 [2 c9 k* l+ XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" j: c6 U: k8 G: land stuck zippers.
$ k) x7 Y$ V( k2 U% j/ }! s$ _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 p3 v5 G) U+ N8 B7 HMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! K& l, j1 P- l$ Q. X4 }an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% J3 l, K" W" H2 ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ G& ]: L  v4 @2 `; |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
  e% H$ r, A8 X" E- j1 Tthe quality of the end product.
) h: Z& H$ ]3 }9 E7 hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# i4 N2 A* P2 djanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: o- r7 e6 f0 d6 y5 O6 ENone.
9 G+ S6 q4 N2 P( d$ D* i7 {Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. X/ v& ~% }' nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


6 ], ?, r* ?6 uPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- `, A% V- o" q$ qNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- T) v$ z/ f( T3 DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! y' {' G5 G& G" U' iGet this! You pay them!
3 I% u8 y# C1 o9 T- hOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. f# y5 w$ E2 w" W- P2 s  @of the assumption that college will help them
0 A4 Q( [/ U) @. q! mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# U* [1 _5 a3 T+ [- sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; X3 q1 K- }6 d" ^* S2 H9 Syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 i3 z/ c  q; @2 i, W
) f' ]3 L( t3 X8 xBENEFITS:
8 Y7 a# X: W# m; eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 e: F4 r+ i3 g2 h! bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 d3 o$ ?5 E! g4 ]/ lno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

9 ?8 i! b0 k/ I: {6 D2 y! h+ bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( U6 A3 J3 k) K; J
# Z/ |6 f5 c2 n4 A1 U- Y, qfor life if you play your cards right.


5 a* X2 |+ n. w" B  W  ^
1 C; p" \8 z* D" g
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
6 @  Z* R8 x( b  p; K

3 i8 |9 @- R4 y- a2 g+ h4 U
% s. M  j% z& ^5 LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ @2 O3 a" G0 y& jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

$ l5 f# j4 }- L- y% n

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.