Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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, v5 k, P" u9 A* m% l! Wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ |' g/ `- ?) v  H' Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 \, M/ k1 S$ }0 dSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 X4 C8 c' u: aExtensive courier duties also required.
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+ {4 w! j& o. {0 B* X1 BRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 j8 A6 [0 p! fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: z  ?. f# v' t3 o& q/ n; M7 bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ u7 d2 A. c  H. f, |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  K' N. W0 h5 q  `: q: Uin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# D, t' `7 X* H) Dand stuck zippers.
* u: M0 z8 D# X- @' n/ ]9 H- y5 V9 WMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 t& o  }0 ]) @2 v) [3 R. aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 n# F# D4 o4 M8 t5 x) b0 h0 k# E* W! gan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) O" r' t' ?1 r$ p6 g9 \; X0 Q" Z$ hMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: c* [, }% \9 Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

8 e: v  B7 X1 F" @# w+ w7 b$ gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ v+ u% g$ i% y8 O  T3 a* LNone.
. Z7 g5 ~( g1 K9 f* a; C: g0 h9 XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ a7 q: X5 V$ h5 bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

6 U% z6 Z! }" W) P) H  RWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( W& m0 A; p- g* RGet this! You pay them!
, ?# s+ ^5 a9 b. IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: N+ Q( K5 J) q  Jof the assumption that college will help them
8 B1 ]! O$ |5 m1 pbecome financially independent.
" j. `3 s5 n. H% P. j; \! V' C; ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 ]0 o( U( r: F' _5 zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 D8 B, m2 \1 O* }BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 `0 I, H0 x) `7 U) d# b% ?* w$ Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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, e3 T5 e  h. t6 O+ A9 a6 m4 Z! xfor life if you play your cards right.
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% Y! R" d. t6 p6 w0 i! \7 I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) O8 I2 B9 T- ]" h0 Z7 ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ p  C" s3 \8 l+ q- M4 b) O3 h. n- Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.