Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 Q" P/ s% ~/ K, b) \4 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 }1 w! |: F# r$ j" Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( Z2 t9 r, _. pCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 K6 v6 S1 H9 Z) z8 E$ gSome overnight travel required, including trips to
' c/ l2 W  e, \/ \) M# r# O) Y* Yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
2 z# y8 w* |. J4 E& E4 M* YExtensive courier duties also required.
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+ \# ^% ^! m1 O  e7 r# DRESPONSIBILITIES:
! A4 n/ B; Y$ O) p# B7 KThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' P- S( t0 b9 Q, }0 o) F( O* wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# s, R* t9 v- n& t/ D' y6 [( Lin case, this time, the screams from
  L7 r, C5 s" \2 t9 W5 ]2 t, K" a, ]: Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; k8 R7 o. x7 p) U4 |! Y  EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 _* b" b9 h/ ^; fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) `! g! O, E  {% T& man embarrassment the next.
& g3 \4 m0 s4 n! I8 [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" n2 M0 g$ x( M  ]- d3 ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 R( s- `5 p6 }the quality of the end product.
* U8 {; z( E. JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' o# T5 H4 N$ H8 t9 h$ E# zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

, P4 N* s# G5 V* S2 DPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# j$ V, D& V% A) b2 e- ]$ eNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 U4 x" E8 U& T: c4 Z1 g8 j3 R: Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  J4 c6 K& ]3 g& N. Bcan ultimately surpass you.
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) h. i0 u  _0 B! UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 w0 g$ S& Z  P0 i0 zNone required, unfortunately.
+ U3 n3 `! i, QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
( B0 ]# \# Q; D. V# yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) j: Z# P8 y. N1 l  Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
7 J: X+ c' `/ s$ p- C* ]* {: a9 Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ d( W- x) R# g2 G% F0 ~7 OThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 ?! o1 E; v! l* iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* \9 q" D; v7 A$ q% sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* [1 h# q* t1 z* i8 y
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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% h4 a8 i5 p9 E; o* k2 R: o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% _2 _) W  K6 C% c1 N/ J! f+ qletting them know they are appreciated
& `9 D* n% N& [. ^. {. c8 \0 mfor the fabulous job they do...
1 A* {4 t! O0 _; v$ dor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.