Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


4 N+ r7 D  w6 D3 |$ P8 V: WJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

: q, F7 Y& A/ j- t5 H6 [( Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 h/ j7 M1 O( z$ z4 b% {Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 i- F: k- G8 Y% J' }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  \0 l0 _2 V; v) h* aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! }* M, d6 J* W) g( N( u& cSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& y$ L) _* v  j/ c6 ]4 r. ], mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
0 ?$ h- {; o1 A! A0 rThe rest of your life.
( X& e; v% D( N2 p. [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# E( r+ k" ^1 N# {% r; ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) K5 a9 w8 g9 ]Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- T2 o1 B* Z! }/ K5 o# Gin case, this time, the screams from
. U/ l' `2 n; Ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* X( J' F- D. j5 T+ {" F1 y) xMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 {$ V5 q* f8 w( W) T( l, v. a8 u  osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 |  a2 ~6 S) uand stuck zippers.
, J( Y* g) ?5 b8 `+ fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ h/ R; b+ c9 F; ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) e. ]2 W9 c3 W2 B/ d) j7 ]6 v6 |Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- |2 \1 Q: Z, N7 U6 W1 Zan embarrassment the next.
% B1 X3 ]' d& {9 Y+ j5 \8 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& h0 C$ c4 X' u1 o& dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 d$ a  W0 S7 a3 ~! K  m4 yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- q2 @6 w- h  o, L7 J; bMust assume final, complete accountability for
) \5 y; K  Q6 [  l* c% W( ]" ethe quality of the end product.
$ a- n3 a% @4 B& M# cResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: {5 R9 s( h0 f" pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" y  I/ Z8 o1 C4 N; K2 GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% c' x2 a1 W% Q2 V1 ?% E) \9 wNone.
6 Y" c: ~9 \( y, XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ o% m: B! f' |" Y& Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
% p/ A: \% P4 a) \8 c8 Eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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$ Y' H- c- n4 i9 u  l0 A( CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- n  e# J) w/ t9 M5 fOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  j+ Z5 B# {: z, EWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; v7 g5 n' y) g2 c3 T* C7 G! l* qbecome financially independent.
4 O7 ~3 L7 n( q+ C' RWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; x: a; E. L6 y/ Z' `1 o3 ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ I) z0 W/ e8 k$ }6 C+ R( f8 ]no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ Q1 H, U4 D' }* S$ zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 L  k5 c: n7 L. Zfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" T! s3 i1 I) C  _letting them know they are appreciated
: y6 b, K( i9 n, n+ g# K' E8 `for the fabulous job they do...
; q4 _8 T8 {8 z6 `: X2 u4 q, tor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.