Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( k; t, W9 t; B5 S4 M/ L$ UDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- o1 K% x8 U- ~$ E4 Y& CJOB DESCRIPTION:
% k. `0 D7 o/ @& _! }Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 W9 w/ @* e4 q5 `- s, Rand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 w7 O) a4 P- A9 [, \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  f8 d+ T9 I% O( g9 s- ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! \2 Q  R( w4 i$ u& CExtensive courier duties also required.
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  _; M1 `  S6 x( QRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 K) E" ~% w' kuntil someone needs $5.
  b* X( O9 Z. M  P5 pMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 m7 z$ V# j! S5 Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 x: _9 W  d: c3 ]5 p1 Q! {% Y9 c/ nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: `2 t* _4 |2 k# O- M' zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 U7 v5 J- s1 o9 Z8 Q2 d& ^/ Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
( A$ h: A& `6 q) D( l0 UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ [0 q+ s& ^$ B% qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( G7 l$ j' F# C) YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
7 t+ e1 Q- y2 T5 @7 X5 _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' y) k3 Z3 B! ^: A. T# ^2 o& {( ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 L! h: X7 b3 O! J% [# ~' `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& e5 ^  p! E8 m9 n+ ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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" N* `& u3 ?+ M4 f2 Q. T) _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* W7 h( h$ n2 t2 INone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ D$ B8 t! i6 o/ R) OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. w5 s6 t3 E$ }6 Y  mof the assumption that college will help them
9 Z7 V: R2 z+ a* U+ I9 Ybecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. y' Y8 }4 t2 B$ ~& f4 t4 pBENEFITS:
4 U, i# a3 K; d) Z7 U! E1 J- dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: F! N( K* q, V/ `: u3 I7 }1 J4 ono stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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' D0 Y1 x/ ~1 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
" J  t: H0 ~. B% s$ D1 Ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 T# G4 W, u7 p4 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.