Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( K3 `9 Q# b4 [0 Z- ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- @8 \8 r2 p- S+ A6 i2 UCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) E8 l& H0 ]# J4 B4 C; U3 {primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 b$ t7 u5 o( _  v: \& Q( ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 V7 F: \( Z* j- K6 I# a: {- Q; d; ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; \" Q0 U3 Y1 _, S: JExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, J7 s% e+ \9 b( }! rThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 S6 _& S! a( k* D! g2 u! ^7 l' OMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) H% _3 |; Y3 i* g- e1 g( e+ H6 |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" b* E, e" |# g3 U- |, @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ m5 E$ e7 K* u  j8 Y- o/ Cin case, this time, the screams from
% i( H) x! R7 P. r( pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; g# s# @% K" X" msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
$ A9 t! Y; I9 I) [& bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& N& e4 ?# ?, ^: V$ fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. s% E- H1 B- f& b6 [Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% q% @" H" H7 _" w- Q' R0 BMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  j# R7 m" u& W- Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 P' w$ z1 V( Z) }' t3 _0 Q6 sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) F7 x( Y. E# {* EMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 A3 V4 W% ~% ~' B  Mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  o" B( Y, c  n1 gNone.
2 k) @% r- ?) I; b, lYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: c' v3 {8 g; v' X0 f7 Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ }3 ^% u, f" S5 \: }* N2 |None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% ?. |$ m7 U/ q& R6 lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ ]3 t: N( C; y5 g' z4 f$ ^; EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

* ^" O% T5 Y, N# KBENEFITS:
& l( R# ?* C* _1 ^  v+ mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 y2 U9 d4 ~- z9 T9 }5 u$ pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; u; _. W% S4 z2 q% L& p1 n0 [no stock options are offered,
+ @# R5 U' q0 T9 O4 x0 K0 hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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- x& _! J5 t8 d: o$ z$ O! ^** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



' L; h" h# P% Z3 R! S4 ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 G6 b: D- K: Q9 c  gletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.