Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 c, n- y: _7 T. g' RDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! b4 T5 m& N( k+ @, Y# D5 x' bJOB DESCRIPTION:
  T. q0 g0 E* K: ^, `$ ILong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 o: Y) D! Z. o' O9 k5 c+ z5 i& [Candidates must possess excellent communication
% Z  z6 R7 r7 T# _5 c- i6 kand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, D$ q5 _3 y& ~2 ^& Z- }! B' pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( n% [2 p/ ]1 D* D; }; Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: v" _  {' F# [: ~6 W: gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ m% N* i0 d" D5 G/ \4 |6 L2 kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 e# c% [$ O  z3 q7 u, W7 \9 ]RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 R& W2 [, L# r- V# l( e2 N  ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ K7 V. S/ e& Zuntil someone needs $5.
3 o9 b4 W! A, w6 [$ mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 I, S) Z/ r" E. p( }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 a! l" d; v1 W/ r  h2 pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; N( w5 M' U6 I( x% d9 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. k0 s/ g* f4 P2 R+ d: D. Ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ U7 A$ q% p/ G& ^+ Z- U; O5 G' dMust assume final, complete accountability for
' w" d' b7 S/ q5 ?% v+ r" w, Zthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) }$ W+ }' g$ R! qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

% s$ s0 X3 U5 K+ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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4 y. |$ ?4 l* V  Q  b/ ^0 W7 O0 s- ZPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ `+ t, V2 L7 {5 D2 X2 |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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2 f" i3 r  V) S. uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ E* S4 `$ @  i1 ~, ~  W8 |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: e. I8 d2 t1 T* wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! v& x) `7 f4 P$ ^2 g3 H8 j& J5 J* M) EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
0 {- p! S; D4 ?While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" o3 `9 Z  h2 i6 fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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+ U2 r% Z/ U7 [. f& m7 {# @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



+ N( O. D: ^' s; i* a7 [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, p& Z3 y' Q  Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
# s* c) z; c3 @$ h. a! Vor forward with love
8 t$ X% \; q9 d7 T- l: A& v# h: p) Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.