Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 o5 Z" F) ^; L0 I; tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
5 B5 z* r! T( ~4 t" B

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* J$ d1 t9 b7 }1 C* l  p" F8 LCandidates must possess excellent communication
' w+ X9 B4 z% p( A  Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- {9 r# s8 `7 x5 A4 w3 J3 Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 V7 U  ^6 m. ]9 X, T; ~primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" j" e, g4 C# x4 W, jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
: o% P4 j. f4 s* a8 f, \Extensive courier duties also required.
* m8 R+ C, [9 |  \! z9 j  b
# p) s. z$ u# IRESPONSIBILITIES:
# \( F6 Q8 \3 `( ?, S% H6 C* f3 OThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& E+ `3 j6 {# B4 @. gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, X9 ^: Y  M( Z- f( L3 u/ T; zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* U1 f( V  V3 X! Y% PMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 w: J  |+ O# A5 G* [( O8 K& Wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# |$ {! E% V5 C! E% A7 u0 _2 WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  U  ^( W0 e6 Q6 Q. w$ H9 `: @- u& \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 ?* X7 I3 p( u* U* q0 Vthe quality of the end product.
) A1 k/ j! v6 d$ U* T8 t0 hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ w! Q5 t) j3 U* Y+ fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

- d% j  d4 ?% ]7 C7 H: m2 C8 j" sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 Q& e; ^/ V8 V! q2 n: vNone.
; l% n( f% o4 G7 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ m7 p( V% N4 k3 pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

+ d# p4 ]) |6 X
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
, g# Q* j# @: T" _
3 Q$ c1 K! F& s" K$ G$ RWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# f4 v: b6 R0 h0 p9 za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( j- @5 o- q) t5 `! N7 Wof the assumption that college will help them
: @7 m- U8 N: F" v9 R  [& rbecome financially independent.
6 W; ]7 B4 v. o8 x" h$ j- v/ J  cWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ e0 p* t; D, @$ S& P) p2 @The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
; i# G5 s. N7 X8 V# Z( `
* b- U; b9 F; d" uBENEFITS:
7 t) w) g' J7 T  E3 ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* Q9 h. l7 S9 i" ^7 C. lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* Y5 O5 l- \5 s% Y/ eno stock options are offered,
6 B& R- `* M. Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

1 |# |% z; `( O: P) O) Y$ yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, K6 B+ H3 Z% ~) R
for life if you play your cards right.
+ d: Z! v- n5 @0 k
1 k2 H  C7 i4 Q/ B


' M0 F% o( D* r# D: _* ^2 H- @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
' r) \* K1 V5 w& Mfor the fabulous job they do...
7 i* _  ?, w; w- Z3 mor forward with love
4 h4 S8 a2 I% wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
$ A# Z, U, K0 y5 u5 N$ Y( `

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.