Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 X6 t  Y0 @8 _5 k. mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 B0 f# u7 B% c( KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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% u7 F4 k1 h, h9 b! jJOB DESCRIPTION:
) d9 E# A2 Z5 O3 P* ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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  q- b7 i! D" i8 Tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; A7 ^; q, ?/ q) ~3 g5 \9 k2 V8 @Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ ^. G) y: u9 Q/ F0 gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- n  B: ~& i0 |; M: T7 M" t2 Q0 tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" }1 a  m: D9 I. n5 s. ]& KSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- ?- z$ ^3 c/ `: \& P0 s6 ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ l1 E% {: c  q; B  M* FTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

$ \% N$ A7 P4 N. mRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 u$ k: H0 l3 }. iThe rest of your life.
) X0 w9 K1 B; [: r- TMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- P% Y6 A" z! S; j! suntil someone needs $5.
9 q" k' F+ i/ Q7 _# w# vMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ n" v& r2 B+ ]8 H, gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% I% {1 l* W6 V; Gin case, this time, the screams from
) C  }% s  j. a+ Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& p0 r" f$ Y6 a1 gMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ {' l6 m' A) g$ y6 n- c* Fan embarrassment the next.
6 A9 N! U) P0 N; FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 X( f' F* Q) t8 bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 |# X, H% W0 a9 Z4 zNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 [# N* P3 J' |, Jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
# S7 `2 l* C- y) k% n. V  i7 ?can ultimately surpass you.
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/ H2 @( |5 A. G/ d7 _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 V9 Z, C+ g9 t# ~7 m% nOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

, Y9 J6 L0 O  S, w! k# J! s  AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# }9 Y4 |4 c, D% G) @Get this! You pay them!
0 y4 i0 ~; i' l$ O8 h6 p3 jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 s1 z/ u* X- }5 F, ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# f$ D% o4 G7 d* r5 \become financially independent.
, N4 f; _7 W7 p8 S$ C' oWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" ?( P; u% b0 E3 F6 VBENEFITS:
/ W$ j! Y4 s* @* B5 Y- kWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- y' d1 M- G3 L6 {no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- U9 a$ Y+ y7 D3 y* f( E8 S9 _no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 G/ z" f( H& Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



  s% \3 ]. a+ j% p/ j; [- gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! F! x$ P4 ^. ~or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.