Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 O* Q, K* R) O7 w; a& X6 iMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) t: L9 ?+ b# WDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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9 B+ ^' ?. W$ x) J5 T+ z$ DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 c' k  g. K. Q# N- Iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 G5 H3 s4 Q$ z! Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) @/ h+ s: f4 Q7 j! ]0 ~# gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- Y7 L/ i2 l7 Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
2 g% c$ |) M  x% L$ QExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 X! H5 I, F2 TThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  a( U5 ^  N. d1 D5 _6 E1 L0 ]until someone needs $5.
- Q3 S) f, D0 P2 K$ M9 dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( C) ^. q9 {) dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 Q& u5 y$ Q( g& S/ A3 Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 {6 z4 O# U$ c5 e. i) N4 Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  m- A1 u# ]) o6 I3 Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% B+ F* c2 t* _9 P0 m# L% NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 L( U5 b; m  L' q& }! U- K" pan embarrassment the next.
4 @$ m3 O7 m; SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ N. Y5 X: n8 P+ u9 ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. t+ k# O% k/ T+ x% Cjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 [' L+ G; l# f% ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 ~* k' z% C8 L6 K8 H9 {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 O; O3 ]8 H* j) ^can ultimately surpass you.
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5 f- [" ?9 ~2 H/ \* C/ p8 y+ JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 v# Y% u& P, P/ X0 _# E5 E* s* _6 {: ZGet this! You pay them!
- o4 o0 F- X% m6 L3 D3 F" ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( P; ~1 g9 _* V1 Z+ w4 A2 k" PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! u6 e; ~- s5 Q: L1 `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
" M7 f6 }' J  p( qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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9 P, g) o* S& z7 x: A' Q: Xfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# ?3 Z% ?! d+ k( kletting them know they are appreciated
6 G& x8 H5 d, G7 q4 {for the fabulous job they do...
  k1 O0 B7 s  Z) w6 m  Q. M4 Qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.