 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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t6 x; b8 E0 sMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ' c0 v9 j! ?' V! q0 T
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa4 b7 v) w! `4 m6 I8 B0 Y
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
' J; U1 y* Z# v2 M& c2 oLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 l/ W8 p. X8 W. R7 r8 DCandidates must possess excellent communication
* A4 S0 B% p7 S1 `' s1 g7 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
/ Z+ q: V: w. Y+ O0 Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% a0 D3 A) t. n4 ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ; B# \: O4 ~/ [' }* J, u
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 1 d, E' Q% e8 P& ~ {9 O4 D
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ! V6 b% x9 ^0 S# W" a6 E
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! & q7 S( ^3 K' M/ D6 j0 a
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 6 n" V. W3 }5 X1 U- o+ q, O# |
Extensive courier duties also required. 0 A4 B% @) v' j% b& K7 Y3 t7 a
1 {& ~! b4 r9 ?/ w: L9 X, B# F2 x* ?RESPONSIBILITIES:$ C* ~9 X! Z6 o. n* P$ y6 R
The rest of your life.
3 k, a" ]. ?0 Q7 v- }Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 6 K6 \* x- x/ g5 K" d* l; d2 M% q
until someone needs $5.
# C3 j9 B. a" zMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. % r" w# |) t2 U, U! c
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" G( y, F+ ~7 ^9 V9 s, `and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat / c* V& z$ Z( T2 @) K$ N
in case, this time, the screams from 6 Z- b+ P, I9 ]* ^) s% l
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 Q j8 z1 t+ y' j hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, " P0 ^, M* Z! Y7 A
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets + A" x/ E. s* ~8 ~( _" ~) }* M
and stuck zippers. 7 M- c: V" |1 i$ d2 E& C( U
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" ~. X; l6 t. r: n6 S2 ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects. & y, {/ K; K1 ]1 r
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 e; f* M' E: N. K* |1 @( q, \2 ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, / G! i8 |/ B( A; C
an embarrassment the next. & Y; w( ?7 y- H8 Y2 W% h
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 7 f0 u# ^+ y4 C+ @# H7 }
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 0 P( ?. I l' d
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 G7 o# I4 W Z' e# f8 B' Y+ [! UMust assume final, complete accountability for
) U R) N$ e) |' E' e9 ythe quality of the end product.
& J$ X' \; h; u8 m: UResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and ' D8 s3 l! [7 g4 z7 T
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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' E+ @( R6 q hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 H4 b# e4 s. L1 aNone.
- E1 G; Z: I6 ?- [% }/ U7 |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ g1 J$ I, n& o, \) L5 T5 D/ Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 5 A4 l3 \1 t6 u |1 m Z: t0 |0 X
updating your skills, so that those in your charge - @6 U+ x+ g# }0 N
can ultimately surpass you.
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: l1 P$ g; }4 [- G; dPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ' N$ n* o# {2 E" a' h I
None required, unfortunately.
1 \. `8 c: v1 e, w* _2 d: aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. - _( w5 \0 o2 E6 M
* F- j' H/ Y/ u. t5 cWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 5 m9 z5 D+ K- Q) h5 f9 L3 \
Get this! You pay them!
3 E: w8 T/ Z4 `$ V( ROffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) I+ M2 S% Z5 D: j& G% ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 3 w3 P& O+ X; O
of the assumption that college will help them
9 g& p8 f/ F, J& j% Tbecome financially independent.
N I, k1 u3 ?" BWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 8 h% ]6 S! l4 p& W4 Q5 E3 ^, i/ T
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that . x8 g8 k2 b/ I) L9 X7 M( G; R ?
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% L3 L0 g m$ u0 uBENEFITS: % r& O I. F' _" P, T
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ; d0 H& r. ^, c3 x* |
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and / |/ a2 N# E0 e7 d
no stock options are offered," P7 t9 s7 Y, H/ c# A5 E* }
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 3 T! ~7 r' _5 y+ \: o6 v4 x
( N2 N3 b1 L+ O5 X% Rfor life if you play your cards right.
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, w) U9 u9 u+ R' z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **/ @# G$ ^* D: K) j# x; S" V7 S( J
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, U2 |0 A$ k& s
letting them know they are appreciated
% N' {+ M) U$ a4 _for the fabulous job they do... ' `0 _# m; r M y, @
or forward with love 2 t4 Y: A0 X1 Q, J- ^
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
