Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% V5 C% |- n. D3 [+ f# P% \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% P1 J0 p3 Y) K: gDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ C, ]4 c, W- Q: r9 u9 Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ F1 A5 [' t9 y) JCandidates must possess excellent communication
) ]+ `( _$ u4 Z+ Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
% x0 X) Z2 a/ Q& x; `variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. D3 q5 E# w7 m# mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 `. `6 Q# C2 F7 J4 t1 y4 `+ C2 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 o/ {4 n% S4 u' {. f* Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ ^- s0 K! Y. H) [- \: A/ Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: J7 c0 h, o! N$ `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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2 _4 B  q; h# d% C0 A- }RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
9 J  h4 E( v. ?6 ]; d( q- M: ^+ y- V$ iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% I5 a: b$ Y; _. HMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
: t% o7 o0 p4 c- U& h# ^$ B' g2 Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 ^* ~0 J0 W1 B- M+ R' AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 A/ ~) V/ x. Z* U# u4 eand stuck zippers.
' d% w9 ?" ]6 {5 o+ {( I( ~Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* p( m! d, r; p: c& E% K# \coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 y  b/ u0 [! ^& w; ?+ J7 vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. j2 W9 D1 g( ?) ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 r% t; m1 B$ R2 D" o/ Z9 F. man embarrassment the next.
/ ^( T+ r1 T- n( Y4 v$ J1 ], [5 VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# e* y! ~2 T1 C( ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& X, X  _, y8 bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
. V+ q) r! |% O6 u$ \9 ^5 T* P* Z4 SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; p/ |! Z# Z8 i% l+ S. gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 l# j' F# p  e  n0 H8 FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 j9 V8 D9 T4 c  n0 ~5 TNone.
7 D, n7 s' x& P$ L$ h& qYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 F9 |! K- v9 b( Y  y1 f) l" a# vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

" m5 v1 E; \2 X, X. \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
; P3 W) i1 }5 Y  v3 q0 kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 O- f, A4 [6 V5 Z% u. g  Fof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
$ w1 n2 S, @6 d; h& s1 g; h7 bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 e5 A" [0 o: y( z1 yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  I" r/ [2 M1 D* e+ I( }* |BENEFITS:
2 R" T8 R1 c+ m, z& N$ m: S' EWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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! l# P( i4 g# ]1 M. R7 t# P: G2 [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" i5 O+ G2 |. PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 {# V' w0 r( W) w, g# \for the fabulous job they do...
5 `. V2 i& C3 p+ {0 ]or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.