Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# z  B7 q- ?' b" NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
  d% h% w) C( E" [* H

2 S* l8 N" ]% j* \$ sJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ F  z! N, \! _1 x0 [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% M* `) A" y/ Z) `$ O( xSome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 Y: h, z1 o) B1 Q1 s9 Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' X0 K% E% D% A2 zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 l' i- W6 }* N- EExtensive courier duties also required.
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3 K# |9 Q. H; w7 K! R" SRESPONSIBILITIES:
4 x( o2 a$ Y( ^3 ^$ N% Q0 ^The rest of your life.
( b6 `; Q" _( i( f+ _( e, j4 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 Z6 d, p% ]8 `and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 s6 U5 w: d5 ]/ Fin case, this time, the screams from
- K7 ?7 b8 D& C- I( N$ tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 k( a% C8 {  l0 K- `: V+ V9 v8 |Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( C0 I! j% z( Q* Y) Z0 M' P! qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 Q$ j! V2 Z" Y! d( j; {and stuck zippers.
3 ]1 [  O5 B! N$ RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 |& x$ R4 @0 R, p+ xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# Z5 e: F" H0 J/ DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
& k$ f9 O( ~1 A% M( [' |3 NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 d& }% y8 p. jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 q2 P  {' s9 E5 z6 t+ y! QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, a" D! A/ M7 b8 k/ L, xcan ultimately surpass you.
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( t4 i/ `2 g( E2 x" P$ d; y  m) y2 QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ ~; c! G: _$ g! aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 U2 N4 ^6 ]7 J& T" ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
& ]: r( K" }  K$ d+ z% d% T' qGet this! You pay them!
- \; M$ E) o5 D1 f! m6 LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ C+ E, ~- e# {! M/ l! @3 n9 m: w8 ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 T" ~4 Z! R7 L- BWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" t  Q+ I2 X. B# Q  m! ]& DBENEFITS:
# u* c& s1 M. OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ u# ?; b: Y- z: C6 t; a/ L3 ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

4 q& r! i6 X4 L3 O/ _$ Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


1 @) C1 ?1 ?! f2 R* \
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  O4 A& T$ b! @3 a; a5 T  Gfor the fabulous job they do...
: ^7 M, Y" @/ E! T( l! I/ G) M/ Wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.