Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 f% w1 `* T8 ?  {9 b. L& u+ WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
; D; w8 [1 m, W& k- N) n' x) kLong term, team players needed for challenging,
4 D9 W) J! G( q8 m
% P/ x( S0 O5 F  c  C8 [  jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  e7 h, m1 f  _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 I2 B4 H9 h& \! U8 _& c$ {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
2 s! |& F( [/ h& Y0 S1 dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" U0 K; ~( V1 tTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
; y3 Q& ?- r7 l( g0 r
( v* {" e$ M- V- Z" N0 T3 GRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ P" Z1 X% b. W* b" v, G) MThe rest of your life.
5 x' b( r- B& L8 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: M8 p3 U1 E, h9 r6 w- z% @: funtil someone needs $5.
: c7 F1 a1 i1 V4 F4 NMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 \' j* }& f+ U% |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- p- y8 Z  a* t% ]in case, this time, the screams from
) I+ v0 Z* H6 U; H; p. ~the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 O- _! s" {/ `: p  J! c' Kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; G9 A% h& ^* yMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
" I: _: U6 S5 O1 T) b1 c& PMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ O2 R# X& G2 j- a; C. l* L2 Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' q7 L( X* W9 j8 Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
! s& O2 X- o! |+ d" H- P
$ v- h0 @  J- M/ g* t1 y) v3 q5 ^7 fPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) [, _- N: g6 Z. v8 l: LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# V$ D* r( A& c9 W: n( ]" EGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- t0 B2 I9 ?7 O3 J3 x9 P4 z' w& Abecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ g7 Q0 ^) h7 e+ O  p6 M. rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 J! d8 z4 S- v; L: w3 R' Y5 nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 V0 k; k# x! G, }BENEFITS:
8 O$ E+ k3 }% h3 N1 p1 bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
9 y7 v7 {2 l3 L- k5 \& \7 \; Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
8 q( y' L+ b7 b; G+ e+ Y
8 X+ u& R' u4 M$ yfor life if you play your cards right.

# a. W( z, _$ t& `: m# B% n0 a


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
9 d' y, F$ ], {2 d6 A' \  M" {


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% u+ P  _: B# n9 w/ Kletting them know they are appreciated
2 `0 n* i; C( I  E  |8 R# n1 `/ Lfor the fabulous job they do...
, l$ M7 b9 M! L; k3 Cor forward with love
) I% V; h# [3 H3 ^" ?* q) d5 ~3 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

+ U/ u7 [# J# s( Q$ i

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.