Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 S+ S, [: P6 P% ~. o) hCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  ?4 V  r, U; M) Y, R( c( F% Dand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( {+ Z* t, ~1 x$ ]+ lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# |6 o$ W, C# k/ \* HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 x3 e' a6 @; @1 B/ y9 U& K8 W& URESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- V1 L( `2 E; ]& F0 suntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 w% L! C0 p+ F% y% ]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
; D6 w2 g' f7 `' m2 ~' y/ O% Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( D5 x+ ]* }( C6 u, C) R  rMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 I, L+ E# R; D6 q' {Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* s9 |' n3 L" ]! iMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 r- X: D$ B; a1 t) l! ~  S) y& ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 _) e/ f' t2 t9 k, E1 xMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
* Q$ w/ p* x# K9 B6 ~! WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 F, k9 i( D: j* A) hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. R5 O1 M; a7 {; h# SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 F) \1 e% ~- g% c3 L7 @1 P7 T9 uGet this! You pay them!
& L, z* P+ o1 e6 @6 I+ ROffering frequent raises and bonuses.
. k; t% w) K3 W/ r, e" [" L# ?# y) Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
5 E8 ]* D# {0 Z/ O" s5 fbecome financially independent.
) a* _' `3 I" B3 m! @! _# k; q# vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; q5 m0 T# Q6 Z' W# |) Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 F% g" \! W+ @. Z# L# a3 tBENEFITS:
/ E, T9 y2 F+ p4 s4 OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  U$ e' Y* D( b5 q- S' Z# f4 ^no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 K- h" D! A  tno stock options are offered,
" ~( B6 J/ l+ fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- G, ^4 ~7 ?* R' gfor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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7 |: ]$ T% |( |3 }6 f( [! BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
; _! C# W& `' A" Dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# Y0 a! n4 q" p4 K0 W+ Vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.