Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% a6 M3 X/ ^) z# DMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* b+ Q$ g1 k6 A0 VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: ?9 ?' @# q: C! h! ?8 b0 i: VJOB DESCRIPTION:
( }3 @& `3 U: ^5 u3 s* ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 `9 W* R- U+ B( q, U. r* X& T6 I% @permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  u; Y9 h2 X- V& p+ Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& @( p! D  l6 I5 n( z! f* Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 ~5 F1 j# e$ C: F/ F+ u+ R8 ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

" Q7 C. t) e5 e# M" V# MRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
6 d1 V+ ?2 r1 }7 ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- T  z, p- R8 L' Z$ Q4 @% \until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( E7 @( Q0 ?' U% c9 iin case, this time, the screams from
& S9 ?; o& ~9 j; C. H8 [7 x( u3 Y+ }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' O! z  e0 X' s, V" t. W* mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) q' G9 B# m1 b+ J: K* L! qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) a0 a6 f0 p7 }' d  z  n' W) Land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 i4 T( C% z, q. K# U! q3 Lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! A4 S$ i& ?; b; MMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 D( M$ k& N, N0 D+ ^8 |- Nthe quality of the end product.
2 E6 q# X& w& F, _* Q5 |8 @! aResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! ]6 J( P4 s8 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 z& R( u- s) ~; O0 E/ |None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 D: [+ |& X1 a% N& _/ M7 h4 ]2 M& bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 a, t1 ?3 B! q; {$ c9 W- u! _3 z/ Gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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8 y; s* R# G6 T9 D: w6 G6 SPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) X: M1 }: |. |3 SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& }; }9 D/ Y( B$ A6 JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
! ?5 ]$ a$ a/ a% I0 {' Q. Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; ^! u) S1 @' Y0 o. f! }) Eof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. Q% E8 ~+ }! w7 p+ rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' l. }; x  S# \BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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$ N/ B8 w; p  v) A- v' {8 Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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% G, e9 C. g: f- H$ C% F9 w* Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 |. m- J9 H3 {, w0 C/ Lletting them know they are appreciated
6 y/ [( }/ d7 Kfor the fabulous job they do...
( }8 o; Y" u9 f' Cor forward with love
7 o8 J2 U$ T- a8 y) `) K+ |2 bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.