Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) r2 W- d0 H+ y# w8 o! |) FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) m2 _( A; b( lCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* p( |  z4 F" C! }9 T7 c6 }" U4 wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 \, O7 A. M6 Q8 Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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) X+ F/ n$ P: \: gRESPONSIBILITIES:
" Y8 ]9 _1 P; T- y- M9 h& g- FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 L$ @, d1 L: N2 }) o8 d, S. Wuntil someone needs $5.
0 D9 I- c' K" O* mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ ?  r, p9 }5 I) c/ rAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' P! {9 h% j, Z$ qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
$ V1 v' P1 v8 z2 VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: f  `6 ]/ C# aMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 G! f, U5 c, _9 U! O$ U, Q! G8 y, bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ H6 N( x1 {' E" yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 m- j& G; k2 t+ E3 ]* _, FMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 i  P& p" ?/ v" W- p$ `- b5 Jthe quality of the end product.
7 _# g* J5 Y, S$ b4 C$ EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% k6 j  E- \, w( O2 z2 q0 x  kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 \: F: v" d. o# s$ p" D& Y9 o9 ~7 UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( o7 A/ C3 w' A% Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
# c+ t( ]0 q: B  _$ Ican ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 L5 _) x) }% [  k3 k, n2 C, o; @5 GNone required, unfortunately.
- a" Z1 ]+ d& x, gOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 \# `& X' M# ^5 V2 Q( Z1 sGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; j/ R. t( H$ @* i& E, C- [# i' B  _become financially independent.
2 v) m6 K9 Y% GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 `; B! B+ e6 p5 Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

5 R& n% _; S* o1 F& N& @  H$ P: tBENEFITS:
3 |! x, f5 g0 I% @. GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* D& |2 r- H% S" Y  H  [1 ]$ uno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.