Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 g, E5 Y0 ?6 q* }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

5 Y3 Z7 ^" U' a; `# ]+ R
JOB DESCRIPTION:
' u9 k. b& w( LLong term, team players needed for challenging,
/ J, y8 l/ ?1 [5 i: Y/ c
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 M/ \, Y/ J, M' n- NCandidates must possess excellent communication
3 V, n2 d' U& @. U; M# l& }; fand organizational skills and be willing to work
) D+ n4 @- y, C$ P" u1 Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 S- i, E) T, T; ^* Y2 c5 wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% D4 V9 m2 b4 m- [4 v! u/ [2 `- s$ Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" M% g$ M6 c7 D) Q& c" |' ^Extensive courier duties also required.
, t- N, L$ m: i, W6 }
( ^7 U% `4 A( ^. lRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
$ q- F: J) ?5 d! [5 x2 {# W9 }8 i% @Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 I4 r0 P- q3 {( d% }7 nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 i/ ?* c& H9 u8 g- ^6 [( @9 r$ RMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 I4 B, }! z  @) N( K; w9 Pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 p+ y' K7 V. Q5 Q* HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 o* H7 i3 I8 K' I4 X! g: XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 l# u: y/ D0 z2 p. [an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" @0 \5 O5 a$ k0 X9 ]4 }$ M# F$ YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 I& X) l# G# N  s; c( z+ |2 \Must assume final, complete accountability for
; c$ X2 H7 V) o3 `! {& `& qthe quality of the end product.
& F, O: @: r* N8 eResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% k2 _8 K! Y! q# x% djanitorial work  throughout the facility.
" r) B" q2 o. d& y/ @  C
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  ]4 l/ V7 S* B0 G# l* dYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  v+ c9 a( T9 b5 ~7 v4 ecan ultimately surpass you.
# o/ M& H6 N# u4 N1 a, G

; }: i7 o9 N: |8 vPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
% q# W, @: }/ V
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, f8 V% h, I1 @) i! ]3 N: o0 MGet this! You pay them!
- _5 y4 d! Q/ H* L7 _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, `  @" U2 x" Z0 c1 c6 La balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) `- ^5 g  J2 E) v% `of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 N4 |) M+ B& v; ^/ ^/ t7 HWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 \; ]! W5 Q# U4 sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  P! x3 G! Y$ d, R! _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ y; k* @$ ?* t9 J4 bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! J1 I5 @4 ~& v  ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" {9 E/ [% x1 J
7 U/ v% N2 c6 w0 h3 f+ d% ~1 M9 ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
! q/ L0 q9 f* o+ U


! C. T1 P5 D) x1 q1 b1 p( }
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

9 e: l% _7 @& I# |$ A

4 A5 C) o6 y  {  D3 J$ A6 `" P  p3 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; L1 D9 K2 O, {% v1 Pletting them know they are appreciated
2 f! ^' [' j; Cfor the fabulous job they do...
9 w$ M- d8 {. |, L1 E/ ]or forward with love
: U$ C' T! ?1 E# N# Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 o" W: g: w# W, `, |
4 F7 ?( L, ^/ ?, {5 n) D

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.