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6 d5 K. y2 M- b! {9 k; k3 p* i5 nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma + | T# x# Z6 F0 f) m8 X# |
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa" _! d; j6 d) u( |7 h- C
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" L% g. S9 L1 ^. ~# W- _! OJOB DESCRIPTION:3 G! H' y6 ~$ ]5 D, `$ ]
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# b0 c/ A1 p6 I: _" z8 \+ k
3 i+ W4 p3 w1 Q4 n$ L6 u5 Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. + F3 k& H X j1 E: }0 R0 ?
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 X& a2 J4 l" t$ } t/ xand organizational skills and be willing to work
, ~' N: x' E" A: Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 1 ?& [" Z! c# t1 `3 }/ u) u; _5 w
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 7 z9 o) m6 |4 ~9 o
Some overnight travel required, including trips to . ]( l0 |% |/ j1 s; G" p- Y. y$ p
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 4 O, @9 F! k2 ]# ~5 A, q' M- N. Y
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* M2 D9 a$ H, ^+ ATravel expenses not reimbursed.
6 X+ c, B9 W# wExtensive courier duties also required. 7 Y, l& P8 @( V- B7 G/ F
* u5 t8 Q" h% j9 xRESPONSIBILITIES:
\/ _3 @* | r8 NThe rest of your life. ; y' e: f+ W! k8 M" L* I
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( y% k& w8 |. k; G/ J) s- [6 buntil someone needs $5.
* q" m }# F" }) E# nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 6 c. |3 C+ G, w% j: {7 A0 P8 p6 {
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule + h: y7 R" N! C+ X6 b
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, H. x) b# \% b- d1 q% gin case, this time, the screams from 7 P, v5 p6 {1 h7 ~
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. * P/ z4 K: L* F" j$ y! ~: D" X
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 4 J& ^4 B6 Z8 U5 x. u% H
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets # k5 i/ g: {) F; z
and stuck zippers.
9 R. U7 v# \' F$ B- w* E, HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 9 T- `3 @3 w" n. f: R$ D6 k
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ r% j2 D4 m+ S: c _8 Z: H4 cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. $ o4 P O4 C6 s3 W, v( \ B
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( a! a- t: _7 f( L S) s3 h$ _5 ^0 P
an embarrassment the next. ! W8 f. v$ m; \6 u9 _1 {
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a a: ]' U5 Q1 z- g
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 h0 e& E( ~) {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! m& M+ u1 \( ?# @8 m+ nMust assume final, complete accountability for ' s- h% ^/ W _; o' e; E# ]' [3 I
the quality of the end product. 5 q8 f! o1 S" k8 J- H4 d# a
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" N9 z' [+ j; B! [! y7 f9 Mjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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; b. v! A. g4 O9 I$ q* }, zPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:# [% h& K" z. L" _, R+ t6 \
None.
, a i2 e- X* c& e OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
\$ x# F& s' g9 [" ]" j, H& Bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! B0 ^! o5 \6 W3 i) @. y% Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ J9 @) u& B# B& d8 r* Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ ^6 M$ J! y/ r1 l- ONone required, unfortunately. 4 s; W; U7 h0 a. \2 L9 g6 Z
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. # N0 U+ N- q* l+ f( ?% L
+ x, }3 }) @7 U( rWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ I$ }$ ~- `; e+ d- b5 _+ c YGet this! You pay them! & y5 _3 {: O" P) N
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 0 h; l5 `. B0 l- N4 q
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. s8 ?; Q' p% wof the assumption that college will help them 9 c. N1 W" E% U1 M3 d. G. y
become financially independent.
- _$ W' Q' n% J# t3 j% L2 w7 v6 K( YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. & y3 u$ A- J. _) k7 P4 ]
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 2 T1 p5 W! j, \8 n! [
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: % H4 O3 c2 z! l4 G6 z
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% V' A, R o6 C! A! fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" y. I W; W. h+ t$ E4 Rno stock options are offered,
9 h( _. ^2 K0 J2 f2 O6 \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 6 O/ r& O) ]! ]: L3 F
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **' s' U( z* |6 c0 v# s6 z
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ; [5 S/ n! `: j* @0 ]5 D
letting them know they are appreciated ! \% }5 s3 F2 ^: H
for the fabulous job they do...
6 h }0 F5 t, b# M5 |( t8 O! |or forward with love : ?2 P# Q' b9 m
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
