Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" E* u; P8 \/ ]7 SDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 i* _, y) f$ F2 S% H) X- k4 Bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 M" S1 s7 [% ?# b' Wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ Y7 C* ~8 L9 h# q& m) K3 S+ @and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 ?1 j/ \( ]! A7 V5 kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 p/ \  S' N1 b& W# RExtensive courier duties also required.

6 \$ C. G$ N# ~- d! T2 g* w& b* gRESPONSIBILITIES:
5 n- I5 A( ?; N& H1 k) JThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* ~3 J) @! }1 n) S8 @until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" V2 g# g5 _6 J% `and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 c5 m  E# C5 [/ W4 s( n7 F0 z& hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 ^5 t3 `0 e( e+ psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ t* \" |& U+ w: d- A9 x" ?7 mand stuck zippers.
: K& F1 @0 z, `, M" z0 D7 oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ f( B( E1 U9 X6 KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 z7 ^: z  R8 P% K; iMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( b' q( _1 k; G+ w9 a6 U! `0 F5 rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ d( T8 O' }% D1 M( H; hMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
" u3 h0 M6 v; h4 h
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 l- p' k. c& T+ g9 q; kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 b4 D0 s" F1 q5 @' Z8 ocan ultimately surpass you.

  x# B9 w* c' g# Y5 C* n
6 I8 J* x+ o8 i$ c; Q) ?/ p' uPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% b  y$ j1 x5 c$ LOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
) k0 R' |7 g8 }
& G7 |8 h4 M$ f2 z5 m8 wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: v( J2 _6 u" H  SGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( ~+ r# O2 Y) Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
+ @2 d; a' r0 s% {' {8 wbecome financially independent.
- M" j& q1 V8 B. n4 HWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: ~, p, s2 l; kBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' A! r+ D3 i0 M; F
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

5 [1 Q- u, r5 n' u; S" K8 P' Xfor life if you play your cards right.
. t( a' {6 W, |2 s/ N
; @, n; T" Z+ \' r: }0 ?- i


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


* M1 w* j: J, a% l
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- }& v' y4 |% Xor forward with love
4 j, `! i/ ?; s8 }8 a' cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
$ U% g% E: c  Q  e- T# g' K2 G

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.