Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 p' a% b- t7 w4 AMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
" f3 \2 i9 P7 q$ S: X+ O

$ G$ Y6 \0 z8 V. CJOB DESCRIPTION:
9 M8 ?" {' O, G* [) Z( DLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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) x, u1 m8 z1 S$ j. _# _9 u+ |% Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 o* K+ p8 V$ l, p% qCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 u1 }& w# V9 k  r, U, `variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
" S3 T/ C% ~" B2 hThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 X% H# L  D0 z" w0 A- ]6 ~until someone needs $5.
) m( d& ~6 M2 n2 Q; y* w# B. QMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* w  u1 Z+ Q) p& l1 H( |1 t4 O. Sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 Y0 {' D" l# D2 l7 fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" G4 z5 a* k9 K2 r: J/ ^$ \Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% R/ Q. K7 ]+ N- U% r+ jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 y% Y* K2 R- q1 d4 Man embarrassment the next.
6 _6 c7 @2 y/ wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 m  [! E8 N9 X6 i0 ?2 E6 ?* d1 ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 U& [3 Y0 V# {+ w$ ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' u( R9 ~! u/ p/ J/ f8 Q% @) ]Must assume final, complete accountability for
% X' t+ Z! G5 a$ a7 O) zthe quality of the end product.
* M- d- s# S1 f) [  A* sResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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( j; g+ u3 J" p! `! @) q7 R) T( {( ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) C4 p5 n7 P! u' f1 w- O8 D/ h" |without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( O- x9 E& i3 L4 N; s1 a) KNone required, unfortunately.
$ X. D' _5 P/ f  r0 y% H8 T1 ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 g5 f1 m' B, v" P: nGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 e% o) \8 a0 T+ k8 r: V* ?: Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! {9 {3 r7 |6 b$ Iof the assumption that college will help them
4 |5 Y8 l8 j" |% f9 |; y" gbecome financially independent.
4 A1 i) T, X- v8 aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
4 x5 g8 K4 r2 l
BENEFITS:
' P/ ?0 o* O* C3 wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ J, x8 j+ P$ xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% n- L% k9 w  g1 Nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; h9 C  b1 o# u7 tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

% m" X2 n, \- U; W* ifor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
* ~# L" E# W* wfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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6 _1 y8 X/ w+ @/ H

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.