 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma & d% P# @& l1 ?3 R
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:8 c. C& \0 ?8 o6 U: m
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 _ P; n' d( }Candidates must possess excellent communication & A6 P; T2 c' I* Q7 x
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ ?: X0 ?4 y: N* M" X0 B7 i5 w% wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends * k0 [: ^5 ~0 t6 Q2 G4 b( @. b
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. * q9 C! z% F: ~7 H+ D
Some overnight travel required, including trips to - a/ f( i3 u+ i p
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and - [$ v0 `4 N# Q c2 }1 m1 X* }
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 f2 ^* A6 ~7 i0 VTravel expenses not reimbursed. # L U4 \8 ?' w7 X7 f
Extensive courier duties also required. ' ~$ f4 K4 p B; n* `- r
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 K: a# d( Z! [$ oThe rest of your life. / ]3 R2 n" N. C7 {1 M6 `5 Y
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, " W/ D& K3 }0 m/ ^% t3 v( b
until someone needs $5. 8 B, `" A2 a! o& X# \2 x
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 8 r6 b. ^ O- @9 r
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ! D$ s$ R( y. w. g: ^0 J0 s$ Q8 P* V
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; J, H* Q% i& m# j5 @6 uin case, this time, the screams from
: d. {7 _- ]6 L& R0 k4 \the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ` ~2 n0 c; E
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, : |' Z/ `" g! Z9 F
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# n' c Z: [: f1 yand stuck zippers.
6 C h9 v0 {3 Y, X' oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& M$ A$ d, \& K+ i0 r6 H- Mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 2 ?/ a/ g& K% y/ X8 u, u. l
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. * H( w, Y" q6 O
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, # r& ]* Y* g3 ?+ v
an embarrassment the next.
0 f. m$ ^" @! y- h1 \. i! R# ~; i6 k ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ L, L( V/ q0 D. t( Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. $ j8 C/ n0 d& Q5 O+ f8 Y
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 d/ f& @1 W' ~5 gMust assume final, complete accountability for 8 O6 G' L+ x4 a# W3 W
the quality of the end product.
8 e9 m9 D9 m4 w/ Z5 U4 r; hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and , k: a/ ~" e8 J) r; s: l/ k
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:5 i. D5 b- ~6 Y- O' j6 w
None.
9 n& r. O; b5 d7 P! @+ C% X3 BYour job is to remain in the same position for years, ' y" r$ F' x8 K% ^$ o r
without complaining,constantly retraining and ; J4 V. r7 c! s
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ) ]6 h* G5 A6 h7 H5 K) b
can ultimately surpass you.
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" @' i; v# T8 L% ?& \$ p, qPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 W. ` i5 N* S& W* NNone required, unfortunately. 9 W d8 h" X; X# {* b* C5 w
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : g8 w1 z$ x7 U8 Q( I
4 J" c# F" b6 ?: }' w8 z4 [WAGES AND COMPENSATION: . k! l8 i2 ~/ z5 F% t
Get this! You pay them!
9 R. z7 G6 Z% I7 }% k' F# |2 {5 Z! bOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; v4 r$ U' u3 i: ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 8 E7 o5 K) R, j/ d2 }; p
of the assumption that college will help them % X9 T& }1 x8 }; z# r/ Q# s) }
become financially independent. ( ^7 F' Z) F4 ~
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 8 U9 y- v, Z1 Q+ ]* x8 N& c- S1 L
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& d, q% ~& X- d' B& ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
5 `, H0 v; f9 N4 k8 Q3 [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 1 W$ p* D# K( A7 r2 e* y
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 y$ [% y, u5 N# ?7 j5 W" Sno stock options are offered,
2 I% ], P* {1 v7 K- nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 Q- H3 F& ~8 Z' \$ C5 R9 y0 w" T
# B3 ~+ Q" _. I: o/ Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 9 R; p' A I. H( g
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for life if you play your cards right.& |9 c+ k3 `' n
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4 G& z# }% {. [7 W( A** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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0 |* K' n5 @4 }! u, {( [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, + y# c" C: I8 E* X
letting them know they are appreciated ; [" w$ E: i4 N! X. l% m" m4 Y! @
for the fabulous job they do... 7 _. Z' ]. `% R
or forward with love
5 C; i, R. e- B1 F9 [) rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
