Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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9 i/ Y$ \7 T/ {2 c0 p
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 j9 p0 g: L* Q- y  Wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' i6 W8 `! O1 Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 r: W- O2 ]! Y& k5 ]- U2 `4 ?% USome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 f+ R# l% O9 u; I& _& g5 Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 y) x  [7 b$ m+ m3 GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 n9 K0 B1 r& H8 a: q# d; u7 xThe rest of your life.
3 a/ q1 k3 x9 N+ s5 E' a: qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. A  `! `+ Y( W/ w: IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# Q7 P& x3 v+ @6 ^9 ?+ u3 o7 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* _4 n4 s! Y7 k" @" C4 {the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 q: L/ O1 a' _and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 _) Y, F9 n% q" ]/ }2 ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. u; I. E9 g. U3 kMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& }- n' h" \5 w/ S. vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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- \. |& l" a/ U+ CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% i6 L8 q' G# Hcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& Y& w& t! v1 _5 v( FOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 l- p; L7 Q3 s7 z. z3 kWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 u8 F% D' w: S+ WGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! N. [) x; m% E' y( h4 UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 F: Y$ x  `; `& V; [& u8 c! xThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" F: Y& f  D+ G5 ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# }/ ]4 X: |, G% i" l# Uno stock options are offered,
, }( R: }: P. I5 Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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0 Z9 p+ `; x& s( k; |3 D% I/ vfor life if you play your cards right.

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0 N1 A% R  L& R6 E** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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0 m7 W7 j! X" n  JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  Y/ q5 V8 H3 Z" Z; r' h6 xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.