Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ y+ G9 O& V& m5 ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
7 m* E$ R4 Z2 ~' e  q! X, N0 |% ]
& @$ t1 {2 g% _# K
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
( u+ q4 d1 O" P& g6 V; S- T$ o
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% A% x0 ]. G+ m9 q1 \5 Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- p, A# z, G1 \+ |8 M" }1 q6 `" hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 v! H! U  L9 m- e9 `& z1 Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 k& {( }7 B: i; b4 V" U% J2 tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) D+ a; S5 r' O. h4 s# E6 @6 ATravel expenses not reimbursed.
; k5 v$ O; _% Z* M; c9 f" X2 ^Extensive courier duties also required.
- \% Q' S: r) h! s
$ [+ a/ R6 o) C+ ORESPONSIBILITIES:
; L# w2 i: R. E" U/ O6 \+ [" xThe rest of your life.
8 M' ~  K8 W; _8 kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ ]: n) o" Y, q6 mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- A" m+ W, ^( L0 q! ?$ T4 ?$ KAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- G9 o$ `! J4 r. E0 ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 Q% ~  e, x8 h& _: ^0 i3 T' U& G% band stuck zippers.
( j, w! h, @! N& j8 mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 J+ T* E8 @5 {0 J/ Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ l0 l) G0 ^% p* S* v9 `( H9 A# ian embarrassment the next.
) f6 Z& |" B- u/ L- f, aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% i, g; ^4 h3 K: l% xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; ]3 z  E; n' f" `4 \. l- o, pMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ e# ~4 `# i) [" s/ qMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 r7 H2 `' [0 t( p. T* Z/ othe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& s. F3 }, S' i$ u% T- U1 fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ H: ~3 S7 G4 T! T2 c# FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- R0 F) H9 b/ A8 S' H' p+ eYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 L% J# P" V4 A8 D$ U5 _updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
- |9 m" V) i% Y
1 t3 T, @: q; s) Q, V3 ^7 \' ?- r* A
4 B+ `' ^" Z. l& i6 ?5 a  a& l* mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& h3 C) ]" u+ v  ^* VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 M/ ?$ \7 _  {  R" XGet this! You pay them!
. L5 E3 y, k5 z$ a% vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
* p, u: B* v+ M2 C1 wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. f0 z  e5 [" b" L" d9 ~of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" |- g. n+ R% O  ]5 iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) n* [0 [0 i: O' A+ U8 tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 B# h! p+ @. t6 p1 m# X  Yno stock options are offered,
" N0 [( o: |5 pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
2 r% {4 W  o, _* N  |! R
9 ]0 W" T: a, kfor life if you play your cards right.



9 b4 Y1 a6 a  n" l; w7 z
' m) M( F% ^: |0 W4 Q& `! R; H! _** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

& W2 q6 |# k! T* T+ {
. X& _' D1 Z( R) q
# |! F9 A6 _! A# X+ \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. b8 i/ K0 b1 |' k2 O$ mletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) L: K) W. w' R6 f" ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
% K4 u' {6 u3 [! g5 O

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.