Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 ]8 ~7 p1 ]4 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


# j8 L$ V& `& G; x% l( ZJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. Z+ V  I# L" V  J! X, D5 mpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 q4 t9 D: h5 J2 [% _+ R0 f2 y5 mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 p, {1 S; O- k3 ~9 |1 `$ Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ `  O# W$ y' @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# C. k( C4 N( y+ s  l: Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( I: X7 O6 c1 I1 {. nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: B* \) u3 N; p; g$ a/ wTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

" h+ w' D+ ~# _% M7 pRESPONSIBILITIES:
4 O# L+ s: e, U0 hThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ d: H* Y7 |4 V8 S- H. @until someone needs $5.
5 v% P$ C3 h2 BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 a/ n! }& [+ T7 K$ @+ J+ |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. T8 D" R! h( w4 o# \# dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 @- s5 r7 H, ~% ]" ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; I& t2 e/ R4 Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! d1 u! L9 [! YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  t* g  S2 C1 Q/ M6 C" g9 Q# ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 V1 j/ m1 S+ FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% T; x: ~4 p! l1 f% y" I: ?Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 T# |1 g* q: P2 ^# Y- Thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' [/ [& s4 }2 Z2 n' g6 m/ qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
& e* [- c& B$ R" |9 N; ^) @the quality of the end product.
. O* \; K7 \. E1 O) S; J0 N6 `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 A4 J4 A* _5 b* H2 j" }) @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* b5 L: Y) Y2 ^, y% F5 n' G) @without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


1 D" t. v7 {+ x$ p$ M! e! F, N0 QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 H4 R+ _; }3 M) _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 L! g9 ~: f2 M* S$ n! sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  j5 s+ u: N2 y% B9 @Get this! You pay them!
% M8 I9 r( g" X! ?( l0 L2 UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ Q2 A4 N; ]# k' C8 k& o0 w, @) ^' wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 D" E$ D/ I# t, ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; |9 U2 T4 m6 j7 h- c9 WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' D1 T. h5 c  s  d0 L( uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
7 w; O" V5 l( @; Y$ e9 J4 n
BENEFITS:
4 q8 S( F5 \/ R3 KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ w3 Y) i4 i+ Z+ z2 lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
# j  N% S% u- O0 u- [7 R
9 U/ Y( `+ s8 d/ hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 J$ T' E  k9 M, Oletting them know they are appreciated
3 K5 P1 z7 L& E; Z* |' q0 w! rfor the fabulous job they do...
" s; I. F8 \* o9 J$ oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
1 K% U$ M- y$ R( \, @

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.