Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; U# n3 N; G% LMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 R  }1 @" m, `& j5 p$ zDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


. v9 o$ d4 h3 `0 F  r& |. Z% [# ^  bJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 M' `. n# h6 F- f6 Y, s. I5 Y: N* zLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
, z/ Q  b- @5 M0 {) T) u$ d; Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! s" O  N. `/ Z( |8 ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# I3 I9 c( s: I: \8 s) qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# u' E7 a+ b6 t" {9 p$ Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 I1 k, J. n$ k/ ?9 n2 Lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 E5 C; Z/ k* ~+ wMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) n) v7 o' M0 C/ M1 [Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 x9 ?/ N- D6 m$ d- n! Jin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 Z: u% B/ c% k4 {3 m; eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) p  t7 l* M; J9 R8 W4 W, g; i1 vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" Y" q7 B: c9 m' Y5 K( L! ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  E3 ?4 O8 u% O; v' t2 Q; j$ u5 mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ U( V. W4 i7 ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
& H9 T9 a; p% Z5 b5 J0 u- w4 r6 gMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* j- P( b; N6 o# K+ A* zMust assume final, complete accountability for
& c3 \3 l8 C& N: qthe quality of the end product.
( j. X/ j+ M% B3 {' D0 pResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# x* j+ z& u+ W! J6 t$ X" [# XNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 ?6 c  ]) N/ q" }5 D3 J5 Nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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# B. D) `) l8 n+ _+ _  m
' L6 W. M4 S) fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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0 O0 b# V8 h+ X9 a' \! MWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" O  G! ?3 o' s% z/ ~Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 Z0 c# y: S8 N& ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 U# j# \% ]1 b6 v* e: jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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! _4 R" @6 A8 W  |; Q- @! gBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  Z8 a. |5 `. W* {8 C9 o7 R( z' [no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

9 X% x! H5 Q4 Y* ~) U& nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( |! n0 `+ o5 A( ~! b8 v: X4 c
for life if you play your cards right.


, L. h6 C3 f+ b3 D. {5 x1 }
8 Y, O5 `: B; g# Y% X
, f. ^/ g& @3 d5 _** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
  z7 V8 W; {+ g2 k% G
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8 e% v9 r. C. m% E4 K7 Q5 NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' p: e2 L( O* g% _" q0 ^# Dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
0 A& _. b1 d, w$ z/ C( O5 T! z: m/ [! {- J

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.