Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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. l2 Y. T: \% J% p6 \JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ M, M* y1 o; T% `( [* J. M! \' oLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. ?+ x1 n8 \4 c# @5 N8 qand organizational skills and be willing to work
$ u: _( V7 V4 l7 U. n) N: T6 Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# {  K, C' |" J) Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# C$ y3 V; ^) Funtil someone needs $5.
/ J. _  x, g) dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 @) D+ v+ ?& B' ]; XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ `$ v: N0 L% y. H+ q" rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; m6 l9 |+ G; l* G# U; r& ?: Cin case, this time, the screams from
4 K6 @# d* L1 \1 r4 e. Hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: Z  B  L7 M+ j' D% acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
: _$ O! \2 i6 t) L$ p: AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, p& ^& Z. r; v! M) H2 Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ G$ \1 \  b9 m8 w, Y( _3 g& CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% q) }, v! @; {Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! ~  o+ f7 T1 l4 [janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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' D/ G; e  T( M9 p1 X( k# rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) d8 v" ?% J6 A% d6 d9 o1 jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
1 F$ T5 m5 ?/ p8 S6 s  x( t. ^can ultimately surpass you.
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! n' P4 t/ b( a  P3 m: yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 a& ^5 c# `8 t( k7 b  ]None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# p/ Z& p6 [$ I1 ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 ~0 M. S1 H: {6 g1 `  vGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 ]- F5 F1 u  S% U- e* S  t# u" [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! N9 X- z" g" C: kof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
* B4 }! G5 E7 |, yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
; m8 v5 [0 s2 }2 KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; l: W6 H( `* \/ l# d: ~9 G  Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ A/ c, W0 u8 @/ K& SBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
( k4 X% U# w7 Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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4 h8 N- Q" ~# M8 y4 gfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! C5 j2 ]0 d; Q3 A5 m% `5 K7 Q+ j" Jletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 [0 E! D( q, h4 ?4 i4 D# xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.