 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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- a$ w6 R9 D- g* R. r* ~8 \ bMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
u. ?6 ]; d! h5 i7 l! v7 [Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa& Z5 s0 m9 m4 j$ p$ ^" I+ K! n! }
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6 B% H( ^0 H6 N% K" i( ~1 yJOB DESCRIPTION:+ f* m j3 t- f8 z! q
Long term, team players needed for challenging,4 E" A$ t5 F6 S5 i. ?6 B# `" g
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# I _$ K- O- I6 m: }7 v' q2 zCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 g0 G. Y9 O- P2 f9 cand organizational skills and be willing to work
, w9 H8 k2 {- P' B, ?6 C& Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends " I2 X) _9 c0 G5 v9 }
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ; }6 L- z9 ~" o. X6 A
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( C2 E9 b) A' Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 3 R2 l' z h. q/ ~3 `
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 0 I& h, l( n9 g+ R% M
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 0 M" U+ j |* o
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:- A+ R8 m& [- x2 F$ o& u9 s
The rest of your life. ) Y/ ^1 K! _! t; [% h l$ i
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ S" r: { `* k' runtil someone needs $5. ) t1 t I% `! Q. r
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ! S4 C$ V7 f- N. T, e- L
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 9 ~5 l% H6 F) D2 I Y4 q6 r% q! T) {
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat " M# o7 w: C# r2 F$ s4 O5 e% {
in case, this time, the screams from A$ A" c; W1 w. a/ Z
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. / s" w, I* e* R1 @, h) W0 ^" x
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% l7 |" L9 k0 ~( _( ~% q4 @, q6 Xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ( i0 S+ f) k) `' ~
and stuck zippers.
& u8 `7 K$ F! }1 g `( @4 BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 5 E5 \4 l; [: I% x
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 9 m( a4 c% F* C& P3 C5 r
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 9 g: z5 o! C4 K7 M: n
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( ]8 x/ \: w l7 E' |5 Z l
an embarrassment the next. 8 n% E5 P7 U2 u0 X6 w1 a
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a + k% |+ z. J8 Q& Z( \; y
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- q2 M8 v% G+ _* cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ` a. W- d! H
Must assume final, complete accountability for
9 e% o/ A8 R9 lthe quality of the end product.
* d. o/ _5 k- a8 b, x% |2 tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and ) j. _7 p( s6 v5 e* [. s8 k
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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0 z% T& o! ]4 ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:: d+ ^& ^2 N: L$ E: @# {
None. ' b; C) I9 H) C; Z$ o
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 5 f+ \, X3 v9 S( z5 T
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ N* n6 H* y6 K9 b# kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 c x: X6 S$ a* v1 p; o3 pcan ultimately surpass you.
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0 R) {( Q4 ^+ MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& T$ T2 Y7 k/ U( g- k" i' D2 m& U0 j JNone required, unfortunately. 8 X2 u' Z3 O! g& b, V3 `
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : O) a, a; \3 ?0 v& d
9 T" k7 M8 i* ?( `6 }WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
a( E+ V& X/ a8 ]8 B5 F! A8 bGet this! You pay them! 9 a4 w! d- h/ H, j4 v) p2 E5 D% C3 u
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. & |' D! x7 v6 r8 _' n: y3 `( n4 h
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because * z! q, r9 D& C, A! o- b1 w) a* [. S
of the assumption that college will help them
( X/ L, @& z) Z( P& s1 F- ubecome financially independent. * H# r8 n; u4 x0 Z& n) q1 W
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 T3 K9 n% o/ u9 xThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ' I- C! P0 i2 R+ ~' h
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: ) F/ k0 i& Y8 u* }% D
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, / [2 ?4 a4 r5 i2 I c; f- D; r: t
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and + [. X i: T8 a
no stock options are offered,& Q9 `+ d* M/ H! G/ S( M
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % C+ S0 O4 M" H
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses - Z4 f0 q# {, I8 F) H
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for life if you play your cards right.% E4 z2 H2 v5 x6 m! T1 |. Q/ F
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ( e J8 c8 h# U1 }. ~
letting them know they are appreciated : {- I( D/ U `, T& y+ e
for the fabulous job they do... 4 R; v$ o1 C, g0 W0 \
or forward with love - F: C( ?- d$ D' z
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
