 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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! h$ h. b) @+ KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( b l9 m! f! J4 M: MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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2 k# c( {6 X& b# E, z8 a4 Y" [JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 b3 K- p% i7 G/ P6 G. H( |; mLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 E6 n5 ], Z3 G. `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; Z, h' e0 C$ ?! DCandidates must possess excellent communication
' S9 w/ p6 \5 @and organizational skills and be willing to work + a! z2 S# t7 S
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) j. C A3 K" j/ p+ A- v `1 Oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. / h3 I& l& d- h( S$ ?
Some overnight travel required, including trips to & I; h9 {" H9 A( h: G
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 0 c# Z* y: a' @1 \
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 K/ ]" F$ j \9 K6 C0 STravel expenses not reimbursed. ! U* P7 ~1 x* I0 b5 W! e/ Q
Extensive courier duties also required. * g u' [( w# Y) [. F
1 q: {# l M4 `% u9 d) URESPONSIBILITIES:
( |1 O; R; P7 ~The rest of your life. - h* c# q4 t8 j
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; b& W' J% V5 G( U3 {/ }4 zuntil someone needs $5.
' A: V5 T" X6 d' n1 T- lMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 0 U* a9 h: H0 u* x
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; W3 @3 h/ e) O1 Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 }! z0 `$ l! j5 L% L( r6 w* R7 ^# Ain case, this time, the screams from
/ M9 b& [# O( |* _2 q: l# ^& Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. c2 m0 C D! b; {& E
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, / e4 c1 O5 B' z3 q7 i
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ G/ e; ~1 Q2 L. Y0 Z8 `and stuck zippers.
* A& T% R U+ P: l; E& i- D, {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ( Q! y) |9 l7 Q) {# ], j
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! s- L& b7 f7 Z# `0 A) d6 j+ V7 i- qMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; S$ [# W' p- I) C6 I+ P3 P7 cMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, * t$ X" O1 @( }" m% \( g' \ q0 w
an embarrassment the next. : d# t% b: A8 B5 ~
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a ) R; n! X% z @8 @: F
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 9 N6 u" n( {! j* ?
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ C( g' \: k+ ?4 Z/ B+ v$ QMust assume final, complete accountability for
* p" E: ] N- |$ \: O* t9 dthe quality of the end product. 4 c+ x; k$ \' s8 f2 E& N
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 0 ] W/ L/ s2 L. D: y0 G* }. J- i+ e
janitorial work throughout the facility. 3 \) g) C' \& t
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:: ]0 j% i4 P. ]7 i, Y1 A4 n6 P1 O; t9 W
None. , ^5 h. H7 Q, j0 v% X. _
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 C0 }) C. h, u& C( [without complaining,constantly retraining and / C5 }1 s6 A$ m" ^. i) p
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 5 i4 [) S; k3 N' A3 k9 [( H% G, p
can ultimately surpass you./ B) H3 w- |2 I& ~+ L. Y
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; ~* I8 w4 w+ M, p7 ^5 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 r+ K A7 F+ X4 rNone required, unfortunately. 9 W; E W' h* Y: R# I7 p+ N
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 0 K! r* a3 N* w: y1 q
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 8 a. k3 c6 J7 i: w3 A/ a
Get this! You pay them! 5 l3 |. `# i4 f, g8 x% u) }
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 6 H+ X* n0 h" S& D7 v% W, h
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* q3 V/ \7 o& d8 B; h. Y: fof the assumption that college will help them
* R7 o6 ]. g( X2 e Jbecome financially independent.
/ ]' \7 m, B! B, uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 4 O% P3 c$ o; A& k
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 7 ?, |, q1 X0 O7 z K
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
! {7 |& D9 |, _. X/ I, HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 4 W1 ]7 F7 T" f4 {# f
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
b6 \. ~: M5 ]' rno stock options are offered,) [3 }. ^ K9 A" x* F( x& J' a
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 8 o4 q( F: R; w* r4 p
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 3 ^6 h/ m5 Y' W) ~" V) y
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, / K4 W: ]( Y; ^$ V* V! b- I; _; j9 R
letting them know they are appreciated ; m8 g; V" F: N, k& R0 D( l6 T! L
for the fabulous job they do... ) _. h+ V, W* ]* D
or forward with love ( l/ s6 c: ^# v" O2 V0 H
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
