Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 F- ^. t; n6 t5 R8 [, gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 k3 u! K+ o1 i0 B2 kCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 \: K; c* p* F7 }: a9 X! D& Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 X: i' L; `, U; U" _/ o/ z8 O. qTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

: |7 _* @9 P/ b- K. ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
% V! P2 ]9 \0 }& F( H* qThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' |. e" p) a$ U  Muntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' b4 Q* A- ]" r% S, u( w9 YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  V1 w( [' H  L- qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: [8 G% @2 I0 E- P, bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ t) C: D) E$ A& Sand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 |4 a% o( y  ^6 }' ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ o  H/ V$ r) K/ I  G! S$ VMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 D+ {7 t5 }7 h& H3 _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 H9 X/ g' j! G/ d% Man embarrassment the next.
' o0 R! O2 p; R( s; S1 w3 LMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  h& A( B/ i& UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
- n: w2 N/ d& o6 C$ s: E: YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 d4 G+ Y! q% `. b1 J1 O: L9 e$ fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" D+ h2 Q' K0 M6 APOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; w6 q7 ~# L8 m& j! K" EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( a2 ^; [6 L' Z, A9 hcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
7 G/ w3 v" B# Q9 Z" H4 {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ p" l1 n! r( _' {* ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 b8 n* ~/ j8 u. ]* IGet this! You pay them!
6 o6 j. |; ^+ k. t* tOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) Y& l2 e3 v- J2 L) La balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 S7 \  q, X) R- sof the assumption that college will help them
) v& g: r/ F& A6 M3 xbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& z/ S& |+ T+ E" Y) @The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" u& X( j5 q" {# D1 p1 M1 HBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 u/ r# Y: f, k5 F) Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 g6 C  ]2 y; xno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
6 E4 ?* Y5 t3 U. V
+ m) T/ }; O: w+ M/ z5 e" `7 n3 H4 Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

1 u1 ~* g- z4 h$ }8 gfor life if you play your cards right.
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. F1 L6 x- b! s5 {, f3 @& L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ c% K+ s$ v  ?) X# hletting them know they are appreciated
2 y* R* n, Q0 t# k% ifor the fabulous job they do...
+ ^( B5 g$ h  X5 O5 A9 r* `! ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
$ g) I0 N' u# `( e2 G% b3 F* d

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.