Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) i8 X9 ]  p( o" R* yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, K" ]5 c" C- R! W) b. gDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

: B2 x4 \: x- I( A
$ C5 q* A3 S4 DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
: t3 v- b+ d# I. j; ]
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# F5 F2 \6 c8 z, ~5 s4 k) NCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 g7 X5 w$ R% e2 D. s9 c6 ~2 Y% zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# {: |; O  G3 B  i# ?5 pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% E+ d; W  k6 L% eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; d3 D  G) r) q) g5 j  W! ]) A+ u0 gTravel expenses not reimbursed.
6 O' ~* l: \% h3 c9 o% JExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ B" ]/ b5 }6 F$ c# ]0 r6 cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 g0 S1 |+ X2 c+ vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" n) Y$ h0 a* D4 q# m7 l' _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; H2 J0 D$ D3 w& i, L0 ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 W: N* z2 s. z6 c( V6 tMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: o; O8 N+ r4 T; wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 R3 i9 \( S. _1 R7 LMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' ?2 O4 I- S, v! b# NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 @3 {! M4 ?8 b5 i9 WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) ?/ ^% w1 V" _/ Z& [+ D5 h- K" fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
( F7 n/ A! l$ p# i+ hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; o% d& F/ C3 ~" K3 q( Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 ^/ q" W1 \1 |+ ?  ?" P, hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

0 z, `  Q  h' d7 ~. z
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 O, o9 u& p6 ]& z1 E' }0 u$ {5 x4 V* j$ ENone required, unfortunately.
( f3 [% j2 {4 y7 u6 QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 z" |& j, D' @" @" ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 h4 o* h; x& B5 q# O. @3 ]Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 ]7 n! A  N/ u/ Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 Y6 R* n( \  P; c4 y) l6 ^of the assumption that college will help them
/ a2 m$ [4 }2 p7 `1 m& ebecome financially independent.
1 a5 B+ h0 I& {, F" k: ^) f! I5 WWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( I/ f! i. w4 Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; V$ T- M$ n0 hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 o; l( R( W1 S, ^" T7 e+ [" munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* M" Z/ ]% L: S& s2 u; }
) N' l4 U/ L  r) [7 S- J- V3 f! Pfor life if you play your cards right.




: |( w+ _( O$ I! h: E) J) T. [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
. r1 z# d7 m+ u" L! Y: V

- M8 V4 c) I' ~: x/ h2 Q7 T9 x4 V
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# T7 ~: M8 L. i( d2 k  y* a, Tletting them know they are appreciated
/ Q5 C, |3 w% H  T  u3 s  f  g2 n2 ?for the fabulous job they do...
8 U" h  m: p8 P' cor forward with love
; s" _* E9 N! m8 V" ?* W( f' xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
" k9 V. A7 R2 O1 U+ K- }( {

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.