Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 Z. t; H) ~% VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 M  _* I6 s" d, G$ t, aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
5 M- A& y1 ^6 |6 k/ N! @

6 O! S5 W; O8 o: r/ PJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

( b$ L6 C* n2 C$ L" gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
, K$ l) Q. g- `% k7 D- p7 mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ b2 Y4 s8 k; I# l2 ~: uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 Y9 G: v4 Z4 c6 N# w) qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ z- n& }- S( q3 h" n" lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" S+ I# C' J! c$ A3 BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ z& y4 \4 }% k: @5 yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ i' O( [/ K, k/ z; X$ Z; T. }Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% z6 p& R! t$ Vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( J% O" ?5 k0 A! nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 d4 q) [5 l* y& f. B  {and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( l! j. S% C8 L7 S5 A7 }coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ J# |+ u) I1 A* qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* d4 O9 ?* w" QMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  N3 F; O$ i# Z- Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

( T4 \( Y& v1 A5 }* a, H7 A9 _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- ~" C) Q; W' _; S* L# uNone.
8 S% H; B6 n' c+ h$ N% B6 c, TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 N! t5 H$ R0 J6 ^& u6 @can ultimately surpass you.
0 C. O7 r& z# k0 `
0 k4 k% H7 }  A8 A2 q
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% s$ b7 r  d! a0 r' m$ ~" D* lNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; Y! E- J2 L- O- i" }3 X& fGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
4 D+ ~3 Z8 u; n2 o7 g, jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) \5 z6 j2 [, ?  a0 `no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

1 @% C" v& l9 T
# f5 `2 L  k) S/ P% T
8 b9 m# I$ \2 L. {6 W% V5 I- @
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
: E5 C# N- Q' \" j" |

7 `; T" U1 q+ _# U+ F- P
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: Y0 _/ \+ c7 s: v1 Fletting them know they are appreciated
* \( P# l  F& i! Xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

- A, d) |0 L0 Y. g  F

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.