Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 K: j. R3 J; _! NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" e3 o. h7 S) O8 q+ V. d# b; U' [Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ Y' `4 w: _6 g+ F  o
4 n( ]" {1 {" T6 g
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- M* m3 K  M3 g" Y5 j% E: A! JCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 O- C7 E, _1 ?$ O& E3 jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( J. @4 Y0 D) J& @; DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 K4 _; n+ x5 E6 ~" m" G' v4 Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 U: h  @+ v# ETravel expenses not reimbursed.
  ?) M* c) _" ~/ f+ i7 ~Extensive courier duties also required.
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* K4 w& }2 |4 O" b5 p  VRESPONSIBILITIES:
4 V5 v/ U6 ]: R9 j' k% ~7 v- qThe rest of your life.
8 k( e9 _  u/ UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
4 A$ J6 m- J. A5 jMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 T% w$ t. O2 s" yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 \& i# X3 Y  f/ e7 M5 i5 ein case, this time, the screams from
1 W: m( p  p4 B9 a$ H' i% u9 I( ^) kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 g/ P, Z; O7 g3 mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: f( z: L, {  ~9 U3 zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" z) R' A! J9 x, D* vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 z4 d0 B2 I  EMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 L; g) J9 g: l" aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* l2 `; K$ ^: D- Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  \3 w* ~2 q( L+ JMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& b" C% u& F5 P: E; _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 u3 W3 h0 J3 D: w. \: L! V: v% I% Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.
4 `# O5 u, ?2 i. {+ d. Z2 E5 q
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 m1 W* q6 B+ O% R+ dYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 u+ U- M# P4 v* owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 j$ ~- D. l5 n8 _' {" O7 Ocan ultimately surpass you.
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* D' \' Y$ Q) C  a* s2 j. ~# XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 |7 B3 f& C, I: f- `* J( W5 q1 |3 S0 UNone required, unfortunately.
; U! N% f$ y/ m- x8 x* ?. O% G. }On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ V# e- ^' }: m! }- Zof the assumption that college will help them
) r  J( k$ h2 obecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" q! m' h1 o" ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, u: C) {4 U, D+ Myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) R, B. `0 n3 T2 d% lno stock options are offered,
- L. L- w! E& m- G8 y3 N" @this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 {' Y" `: i: c1 `& nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ p& h1 x1 \" r+ ?
2 G* U: H1 ~* k& tfor life if you play your cards right.

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9 H& e; d( T6 w; B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


0 |$ ]* K+ S2 ?
: O- T$ f- H) |$ lForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ ?7 A$ y# J! p$ ufor the fabulous job they do...
. t0 a  B+ X+ lor forward with love
* y0 u3 U9 N7 z, z+ Dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- `3 Y5 Z: Y6 k( k# w& i% D' C
& i$ k$ g0 G* }( y" X, P+ Y

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.