Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
8 Z/ w' ^7 c, v4 D6 Z
8 A/ f% R4 p0 @8 ]% U7 j5 z
& g/ F) J( e# b3 f1 S* sJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

3 s2 O. f9 \. m) a4 Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' f: [; ^0 S5 t! k& TSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& C% b5 N! ?( |, R4 C6 L2 xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 O) Z+ _0 W% I" ~$ kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 }. C* j+ h) Q0 L% TExtensive courier duties also required.
5 q9 i  H8 z8 j8 |7 z0 e% C
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) K, F8 K1 `1 M4 i: fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 d) e. h4 M, S( r) u! S3 Xuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- B! ]# L& j; h# o9 CMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 u/ w/ m4 e  ?. ]; x; X/ z8 \9 gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! |! N& ?& |3 J1 Q: w8 yMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 B5 V- J6 y# q' K3 n1 ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! R7 X/ L$ O/ u  ?) [! A% DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
7 n+ d5 [! E5 c& Y7 lMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# d& r! ~/ j; r5 w* `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 C* @/ p8 T6 B* u; `2 X& rthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
$ h) l* }) J6 x8 t) s
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  X; G7 [! z! \6 Q3 y! [: Owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
/ W$ [# L/ m" x8 Y( ?" yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
/ J  N( D; y/ X; c
/ s$ \% w# s2 D1 o7 C0 [4 i, N
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# V) Z+ {7 G/ ^; V0 g6 fNone required, unfortunately.
: p7 V8 j4 Z( HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
3 y( C' F2 K9 {! l% H* ]
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- F- j$ i/ Z8 @. }$ dGet this! You pay them!
8 i) ^% \+ c! H! ~8 S% ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 n5 _0 ^1 f! o1 Tbecome financially independent.
; s, ~) v5 Y$ k9 ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
) ?) \$ g' G; Q: q7 l( dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% j' ^# i: `1 Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

3 w* r  R, G: x: b- {% X2 o* jfor life if you play your cards right.
5 H+ H  e& G, j* j% I& f, H7 h) P


$ R' ]- i) k2 n1 e! v
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
/ i& |! ^7 @; E( R  J+ `


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" `* ^" a- m5 C( }, `) o( v5 mletting them know they are appreciated
! }2 s! i8 b9 W- ifor the fabulous job they do...
$ M; V, B( D, A! ]# ]8 tor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.