Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 V% w8 o! _+ [( h* cMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 |6 n* _+ u+ @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ c5 V! f2 f) _" c1 i; Y
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/ c( W! m: U. d* Y. v2 NJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

' i, c/ p) D9 v8 z# |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 v! C7 A& o- P$ X' gand organizational skills and be willing to work
6 _6 h; H: H" V# k3 p8 [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' ~- `" j! Q& ]3 d6 o/ u: _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) ^$ Z9 h  ~% g/ u2 Z* bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# L  ?) C: N4 z1 O5 x& O9 xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- a7 l6 u: k- p" c1 J7 z4 `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 d' {8 L( V7 U* a! B: ^$ i( DExtensive courier duties also required.
% X3 h) \; A  ]" K- ?5 ]& {
1 o8 N; g: @3 K3 x3 f# g  x/ NRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
6 j, @. c. j. e. {( f" S" NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 }* y) r, g/ \* iuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 X0 E7 K3 ?8 V1 Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 j1 }/ o% P5 Y+ E$ osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 z$ p. E0 q4 L+ l' x, f! P  i; Xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! L7 z  X1 w1 g# f; IMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, C% U. `7 B5 o  g% `! Fan embarrassment the next.
; R" R) p9 _, YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- Y  z  ]! ~  M3 v1 _2 shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. h1 W, G' p( x( dMust assume final, complete accountability for
/ H% A8 ~, r9 d! U# n2 Vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" X! J0 j( n' p( ~& |. ^# @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
4 ]8 u: {8 p; `; G
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- Q" b2 u8 q  G. ^$ R/ jNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
5 |3 t' ~; h  `5 U: }

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( _2 y" J1 P1 WNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 v: a- p9 J& |  hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ Y1 N% o& z+ C+ XGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( m5 v. n- u7 }" }  U5 N  Q6 j2 I* ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 T5 M5 j+ B" `& O7 r7 ~of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# e" [2 x+ v0 ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* d1 e$ u8 G4 r) ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
# |1 ^3 n6 L! ?$ ~- H% L6 V' }While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 K' ?! m2 d5 ?6 }& tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! ]7 ]7 z6 W* o3 x# O% Zno stock options are offered,
8 @' l8 M% I1 L6 ~% Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% G+ w( y- l7 {& S  `, Q1 h' W
% n* b# r* F; qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( \3 P1 D" }7 d6 ?5 h2 O2 F
for life if you play your cards right.

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5 t8 N$ n, H! |; r0 ^7 P** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

$ N$ K' O" v! S& A

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" \8 v# z8 A3 P) i1 }' w' {. Qletting them know they are appreciated
( P' U6 K; G# kfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.