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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:! a# \; w+ b$ g! J/ u
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' z( m9 q; x: w3 ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% B6 d% s# G: H/ V( w* |Long term, team players needed for challenging,. g( @. ?/ _6 c; F! ?

7 H) l5 \: R2 B6 zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ S$ P/ q0 \" Q' {. C/ LCandidates must possess excellent communication
) g: l2 }8 p9 |and organizational skills and be willing to work 2 Z& ^5 m2 G, P# s9 J
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( z7 U6 x) X: \* m& W2 P4 ]8 kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. + ~3 @" u- A8 n& e% q" i5 Z' ^) {4 k3 j+ V
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 7 ^/ S  v  f6 w6 X4 |& o
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and , u) a4 T& _$ F. n: O, n
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! $ G* j/ x. j/ l* N1 D! X
Travel expenses not reimbursed. $ @$ Q3 ]$ }1 G
Extensive courier duties also required. ) k+ V+ N0 v7 e

8 }9 k+ Q0 ?! ARESPONSIBILITIES:0 Z& h- L- |. _8 m( `9 ?7 E, ^
The rest of your life. : b: @$ c7 O. G# ], G# ^
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% i; E. G$ R, [until someone needs $5. ; x  S8 Z( K) t3 L. ?  o
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. $ L* B1 v  N- c: U
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 5 q- H  M1 n" r7 f. {
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' t5 L! n( z4 w8 f" j( e' y! min case, this time, the screams from ' c' d# W8 E6 f8 S1 q  v
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& N4 d/ u4 v( Q, P2 iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ I! B+ U9 s; T& ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 {+ C& @/ X: ^- O$ \and stuck zippers. - ]* }4 ^- I6 y) E
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and . d1 m0 j. ~5 O# m' n' p, L3 b
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 x# n# T2 o$ G7 mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. % j: a0 g! J& W* k0 |* m' t5 h
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 8 E3 ?7 o" z% H/ t) c
an embarrassment the next.
/ i* t+ L6 i' _( K4 y* v- EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' A. X$ T* n& s, \- Hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. % X) o8 h) q" ~0 Q  {* B& q
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 7 ?& d& h$ G1 f* T6 R0 z  ~
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( ?) T3 R# B0 `7 Bthe quality of the end product.   D3 M! G% M  h8 e6 _
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. L+ G$ p' D' |$ ]. Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility. + o. D" _4 L  N7 D

2 L# z( m5 ^$ }5 ?. g0 sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:5 q% p/ S8 Y# |4 E, \
None. * v6 {8 y4 Q+ K+ M% y9 f4 d
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ! ]& }) f) B2 i& D- P+ Y
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 k1 H; A1 n; v; n) r! g& Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge " l$ t  F( e% K- o
can ultimately surpass you.
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( q+ `/ y0 _# P5 |4 X( _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  G+ o2 t* v, l$ I, O% e1 [* j/ XNone required, unfortunately.
" g4 i# d. x1 s* V" GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. * q- M/ b0 A8 n/ p# I6 R

! E8 W! E$ a6 mWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 3 ]6 H% }$ [) ?. R6 i4 w' E% B
Get this! You pay them! 6 K; p# r( c5 |0 O' [' ]
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. . A+ [- E) F/ ^( a
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  U* b) j" ~0 F+ l1 `5 A% _8 Oof the assumption that college will help them ! U  y$ d6 x; r  k
become financially independent.
! z+ r; ?# t# t. S, ^+ d& `) XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: y& e( W8 @3 i& E' q: m, HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that : w( p/ R5 \3 G  r2 [! x; s7 Q
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ) c# g; q3 R. B- `- G- o0 |0 d

4 k. M! N5 m+ \2 {1 oBENEFITS: 7 r7 t: v  `0 W2 O1 |$ \4 S
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: z. J* k# W4 M8 P: Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 W2 c# k1 Z3 Ino stock options are offered,
& J8 L( c( [: i- r2 j9 Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, * U+ I. f5 M1 u6 Y6 z4 ]& c
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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, V- A" \2 j; f7 I7 o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **' G6 Q8 u! f) i

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- l+ K: W6 o& G8 Pletting them know they are appreciated 8 b0 C! d( M+ q1 g  X( X
for the fabulous job they do... 5 S$ o# h; ]% B* u9 I
or forward with love ! ^: I! ?3 B: S
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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