Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" p. Z  j0 [! t; O6 ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
, g& k) C: @2 `% Y' vLong term, team players needed for challenging,

0 H( h) T. X, Q' D$ dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( ^5 T$ Q$ L- I, q  M5 mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* N: g) A+ H) Q9 G4 J0 lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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& E& h- @' ^& r1 p* B" M) vRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ l) N. H, Y6 l* q4 eThe rest of your life.
% C5 R2 r. p7 `1 K# a# O+ [" _Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 S$ f" ~' u/ `until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* {. H/ N! h% S! `! j4 A# OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# S7 N4 J& w) m" K9 Sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 M9 S8 H4 n+ x0 U( BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 ?% U9 k, B+ ^  h% [such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# w$ T& s/ L# b/ k: Y* E5 G( kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 f7 O- r4 L. D. _& Lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 E# M( e7 |9 u" D3 z, YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" j: W) x, E& D8 u- A8 `+ C) x8 m9 YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% n. Y7 ~4 \* j. W2 Y, {- n. YMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ B2 n$ I! e$ r; athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  Y2 T: B5 [5 d; O# I/ r, ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.
5 F5 d1 N% ~2 {
% @1 k5 J( M7 `3 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ n; p: H/ g. p9 d' m. H+ S) |$ {None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: h4 h5 z: q6 n- ]: Owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, j2 w" G/ Z; e; Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 h: U  E; o8 ]- F4 R0 _: Bcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& ?. W8 X  a/ p9 _0 J4 i# m9 aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& e9 s6 F! K& O, j& [Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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( @3 ^6 @! J! C5 ZBENEFITS:
! \& Z% Q+ ]" l& tWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 Y& n) a$ x. d3 t( O1 ]' a1 B8 M# dno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 M* x% d7 t/ I+ H" x$ Q/ f" c$ d* ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

6 c$ h1 x: o9 p+ F( I, Gfor life if you play your cards right.


/ @% N( X6 d$ F3 r1 {5 e0 J$ W

% y8 v7 r- a3 c4 K; N  _3 X/ h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


5 [& Y% x* T& K. X( r" J
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ S7 t% s! Q7 T1 h5 wletting them know they are appreciated
( Y7 X; |. \9 y% }for the fabulous job they do...
! ^: ?: X9 m" L! R# wor forward with love
: f0 U4 b( U' Q( _; ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
3 V8 h" k9 U- h

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.