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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:: g5 o1 }3 y  K5 L& ]
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 _& B/ ?1 M/ l! {2 q$ ^Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 S+ e& ?6 F6 a, H1 hJOB DESCRIPTION:
& x5 B4 C( s. hLong term, team players needed for challenging,$ P+ n+ q5 s- s' S& z, B: X
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 7 M, }" A  Z5 {. N, s" Y
Candidates must possess excellent communication : H9 j# r, C3 Q# |9 d
and organizational skills and be willing to work 8 @, S/ Q+ C% _9 o+ T, B
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ ^$ C* c* ?  |' b7 nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% Q) ^0 y+ c6 k  _$ TSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) N  c6 h' ^, j& [$ @, R$ w! cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and % |# C1 E' m5 l0 O8 m
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 k; i& S! z% H  Z" H3 c8 }3 UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
" v; q/ F( o  c1 L. L- ^3 JExtensive courier duties also required.
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' i; ~0 Z+ k: b0 ]0 [) FRESPONSIBILITIES:( d$ A# Z) l# p7 X$ H0 g/ I3 R) A# k9 F
The rest of your life.
& G- v0 B/ h0 }2 |$ ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- s! R4 @# H1 ~: U8 xuntil someone needs $5.
/ g, h5 r5 ?$ F- y0 PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' d9 @9 ~! L8 R/ }: `: V* n' s. YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 R4 f4 {0 I9 |( Hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 0 Z2 X% ^* T0 M7 I5 _: ?6 x6 K. b
in case, this time, the screams from $ z2 G$ Y- A+ f1 P* a
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. : J: V& G$ ~2 n/ Q0 _' q. L- h% x
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 `  `+ s# e- H# b/ bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ( T1 E/ E1 _, E. o% e; B7 Z
and stuck zippers.
0 O% P: H3 o  O; E; G5 SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 Q& g! H0 f: t) j7 `1 Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% r( k2 v% X# q$ yMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! X, _+ H8 S$ a5 S+ b0 rMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, % q6 K. K1 u5 s1 E
an embarrassment the next. ; B% w0 k5 m; d, n" V) v
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& F. U* O8 P6 F* G* d" Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; A' O0 z2 f% WMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- }" m4 i2 M$ o" _8 D/ K; BMust assume final, complete accountability for 0 H$ v6 w, e3 c
the quality of the end product. : G6 f1 q8 w5 m+ z6 h
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* c' Q% I" s& ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:3 m+ R* A( [  u" G, j, c8 [
None. 2 ~3 M& l2 |6 r% v, G/ R
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 2 |/ e) r/ b6 k! w2 E- d
without complaining,constantly retraining and + g' ^# \6 p$ z: j% v
updating your skills, so that those in your charge " W; S7 C, C* l# q
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, o; _4 ?+ ?6 {% I# eNone required, unfortunately.
2 R5 p- L+ Z. N; d# UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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: L2 W0 I7 U$ z* G/ l2 wWAGES AND COMPENSATION: ! j+ Y6 S' n5 s; ]% ^7 w, C" |
Get this! You pay them! % {- ~+ ~: L3 w& V5 d3 r
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.   j. Q: c  s* m! L% d
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 i- E" _$ g* ]) Eof the assumption that college will help them
4 L1 {/ r. n/ O# r* S  R1 }( B6 ybecome financially independent.
# D$ p. f& u* x! {! Z' {6 [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 u6 Q" U6 W: l+ g; E) bThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) x& V5 [2 M" \2 H  f5 |3 h6 d' H- Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ j& ]8 a, s7 e6 p$ V$ YBENEFITS:   H  h" F4 \0 R' T
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, * x$ i7 R% y, F' s! f* W
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ' e  B: P6 b0 H
no stock options are offered,8 A1 ~; ?" j6 K1 y2 Z' f, a3 X
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 4 |3 u! a( J& U0 e) n$ d
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 5 T: Z3 e* j2 `3 Z/ r0 I8 R+ G# o5 A0 a
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for life if you play your cards right.; m4 i& K7 ~* {
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- p( U& o5 f0 s9 K6 [/ O$ kForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, . y9 F9 C( c1 L6 b1 j2 o
letting them know they are appreciated
, C+ h- H- k, a9 B; W9 L4 p) cfor the fabulous job they do...
# `0 ?$ H' n; X4 W0 `6 F6 Ror forward with love
+ z0 N4 @/ ~+ R3 y% l/ Z/ y5 O0 [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
理袁律师事务所
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