Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! t" k% Y; H" r/ ?* ~+ VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


( d: Q8 v4 Y, R; _: [2 |2 x& NJOB DESCRIPTION:
  G+ O/ G) ?2 N2 eLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; d1 M0 @: A$ i  Fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 m0 Z" _& @* t3 |- ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: Q6 ?& k9 c/ A' [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 p3 b) {  f& G: o: O- fTravel expenses not reimbursed.
4 w& i, h6 A& v' H$ s9 xExtensive courier duties also required.
4 T$ t% `4 Z" O7 f. U/ c: _( l
0 f+ ~7 C& F3 G4 {3 @$ {6 z$ C7 I0 W5 oRESPONSIBILITIES:
9 z  R# M9 u" ]1 t. @% \0 \The rest of your life.
" K/ B- ~: V! d% R" W, p' f! kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% E$ V2 d* o& E  X- zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; Y* n) e- T" @0 Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 c' R  A- b, P; dMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# M0 l4 ?8 P: h4 w+ U, b' a- Pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 R$ g! ^4 u6 l: f: OMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 U6 u5 [2 I5 `( b! l2 m$ F  san embarrassment the next.
# f3 T$ ?" h- G+ w& a2 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* w9 s& x2 |% I0 K) d4 uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: p/ _/ b( W( x% `' V# ~) ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ d- O+ \) q3 OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 g' O8 I# Y; e% N  ^# ?None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 V; n  N4 F0 v  Y1 v! @! ^5 z- k# o1 Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' f( @* i1 V/ w# M9 k6 u0 O7 m* Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

: i# F% C4 U$ I  `2 u: Q
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& C1 p6 w) H! o. q- }5 jOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 G( m& |; Y- @7 H' {of the assumption that college will help them
# W2 Z' f( g; l: @1 n. J! d* \become financially independent.
( s3 u3 [4 w6 i9 X* pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 `* Y* Q. W5 e' rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 Q8 H; F- l( `1 L  f7 lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
# N( Z. X, ^+ h1 |, `$ E9 A# H: bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" S8 }$ C: X  G0 `# g/ ~0 {9 l: Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 [' l9 y0 T1 ~' y6 R9 v- J. b
for life if you play your cards right.



# ]  n: o2 U8 c' {
! Y& |) F+ W: |2 }: ~5 |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
' V  w7 x2 j' l. _


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 `2 I! E% H2 N/ c9 w2 B9 Sfor the fabulous job they do...
/ L, g/ \( \. {9 o. u: [or forward with love
5 N0 z0 _7 ?; `5 [* P$ eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
. X/ \0 V9 U+ ^: h" i* p) [! g$ k

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.