Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ U% K* v- I; i3 p7 m; }JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) K8 k: K* x$ A& `- `8 A/ q" Z6 W5 m1 Rand organizational skills and be willing to work
3 m5 t8 }  k  Q3 _variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ Y  V( \6 ^4 u% \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. B/ H4 X: ^3 h, W6 V2 k4 }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 _0 S6 h* W3 ^3 n; Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
$ s5 S/ z7 L) [+ M" _Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ e$ w  f; Z' ]3 j! d4 vThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 ]# h% u3 H+ ?& g+ Luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ D1 ~: `6 j' B7 |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! Q/ C2 U4 L) S0 Bin case, this time, the screams from
5 K$ O5 d+ \- \5 G: Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- d. V; h2 l& R8 Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: ~1 u- A0 t/ H1 {1 `0 Land stuck zippers.
6 h+ R: n! e& D8 YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ D$ F7 Y  y. Lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 |" t  c  C; t6 U. cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* J: Q( A- W- `8 OMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 S2 [3 _4 |$ R5 ?' G/ E% dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ w" F' |5 t3 U. C$ Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ F- ?0 s+ S2 X8 Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 M7 V- Y, D1 K! Mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' l; o6 I- ?* T6 u4 ]. Mcan ultimately surpass you.
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( ?7 j0 o% }# L$ V0 ?7 x3 XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 B: B$ W* A! |8 m$ N7 s& sNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 s$ @5 g: K- jWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
+ Q8 J2 S4 i# v6 d3 fGet this! You pay them!
: d# N# f6 t6 n2 V5 E! BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, B5 `. t; N- ]$ {  P% {* K0 gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 a; o% C- h6 O+ p3 Z+ {4 M* |no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' T3 ^5 U8 _  @: Yfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 Z# I8 m, }& mletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 h  B9 J( S: q" S1 ~; b) D: y5 Aor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.