Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: e* C3 m9 [3 I" }: zDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
1 b1 L0 Z. M' X: F9 w. c
: T3 _- m% v  J7 I2 P
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

1 Z! G1 [/ t: Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* R- q; p9 O3 L" Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& D9 N8 c$ y# ?$ y  H% u' USome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ @5 N4 j3 M. i0 [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
3 a, M8 j% `, I4 L  F
+ N3 |, K1 t- c+ m2 }2 l# j; z; D" qRESPONSIBILITIES:
  a# b* y' C: NThe rest of your life.
4 f/ D: B; T$ Z& O/ ?  NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
! z. J# y6 T. ?7 W- P& V2 @/ N4 UMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ |+ U8 c0 e1 b# \Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 K5 l: T  I6 X/ Gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
. N! E4 b! B: F8 ^9 g1 R0 h6 ]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: D/ f0 Q3 ~/ R) gMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! O* b0 q; \5 Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ @; O* x% [' jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 I' D6 T4 A9 I) b1 k8 sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 o; R9 C" {* O0 X  O, d& e/ b' k1 H& VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' T! g. S; ?4 nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( ~5 ]. V( E( K. pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
5 r& H7 I" ~  O& M1 m3 i
( v/ d) q6 U2 P6 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 H8 H: J# x4 Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
& q0 L. B/ r, e& N! y  Ocan ultimately surpass you.
$ s$ D/ k2 k7 e0 o

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
+ x) u1 |7 m3 @0 G3 D0 D: c
! G% @& V5 `; U: yWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 {7 u% i+ X- MGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 Z( T2 K# A) k% q' za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 q( r5 z$ d+ k, }( y7 }. Z8 Lof the assumption that college will help them
" K2 L, I6 D+ r" l2 \& ?become financially independent.
' ^+ C$ z# b5 J  i$ `, f) l5 jWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% y* ]- N! a9 Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& D+ k/ W1 h* bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 C) ]- s0 A0 [0 }* |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ b9 W3 }& C& G& Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: u5 Q. m. ?# a3 |  v
for life if you play your cards right.
' c) {2 ]# p4 {% G+ r+ y+ T2 u
1 Q9 H! A; w9 D9 k

! x2 [  G" |8 k8 Y6 R
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 C' _" H( K+ {" \8 f' Ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
" s1 e: H0 W3 t( T

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.