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7 w3 x" @# ]3 [/ i* |. v' p. `1 tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma $ E. S' ^+ Q {) @* s0 h
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa3 l5 F' }1 Q5 e" i: b
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* d4 T& `" S" D2 g% Z5 x2 J. [2 RJOB DESCRIPTION:! R: D% V/ m0 U% B% T9 V% _
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 a+ |# R8 A: O5 F$ KCandidates must possess excellent communication / Y3 E( a0 l& {- T: k0 b
and organizational skills and be willing to work 9 u M& A% E1 I+ X6 V! k( E
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 o6 y4 w: k" Z: B L% s" E2 C3 Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: ]7 R, m+ M( P8 J% z9 e/ uSome overnight travel required, including trips to ( ?8 U( _% S# |, U+ Z+ W6 T+ Z
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and # \9 B" ?1 P$ G) |* E
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& \: Q8 o. o% s7 _1 {1 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 O o; J2 E+ _# _2 s2 b& \2 l$ @Extensive courier duties also required. 8 a: ?3 V5 c8 b8 T. I) G/ X
r! h5 c4 V5 T0 d9 v VRESPONSIBILITIES:7 p5 F1 Z' N- W* n
The rest of your life. 5 q/ Z* z4 p- H
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 o( S/ j M( P4 O2 b/ u2 e' h1 g; ~until someone needs $5.
B4 [0 R4 B4 e( YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ U4 |7 m' B1 b- kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 K* h+ T5 w T8 Gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' b( C. {/ s3 ^' ]+ n) q5 o! o3 `8 ?in case, this time, the screams from
/ b S4 g: o' e' k) ~( _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ) ?( p1 G- g) ?8 o& B" x. v; @
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 @' `4 \5 e, q1 d' Q0 {2 }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 0 [( F& O- X, G
and stuck zippers. , w% v/ j8 z1 ~. Z
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and $ A" E) I; c8 I, \& D7 x
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. * ?) T7 l1 U, c+ o: ~
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. " W: L2 J) w) y& A+ D! @* V
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ G" U: C9 g( e0 \- Z, Fan embarrassment the next.
& w3 b) m \: TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a 0 N7 l2 C, o6 y! p* O7 H# D1 }, ^
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; E% l) T6 A9 G, e+ j/ MMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! C9 q& q. G1 ]8 F& VMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 K* H6 U, A: ]; Jthe quality of the end product.
# S/ V$ v5 f: c1 k5 C2 KResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, t( O( G7 o9 H4 F* ?) t/ G- Ujanitorial work throughout the facility.
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0 o& C7 j% w% ^. a4 R& z8 a5 YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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& }) m. S4 S) ^& x _8 z# X1 kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 O7 Q6 [, s H0 Jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
9 E# O. q3 ]0 p! R4 D- i# Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge $ V/ X Y3 w) c5 K f: B
can ultimately surpass you.
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& _2 I# A9 X7 e' E4 V* `' MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 ^. F1 ^( n; I; _/ {% ANone required, unfortunately. 6 C- |5 C4 n% p" p! n; K% U
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ' Q/ ^( }0 T) v: X, ~/ [+ q
Get this! You pay them! 5 I4 L2 C7 P8 T! ^: y( R( D
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. + j. y# ]6 O2 F$ k( S. {
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 1 T7 H2 u/ l' G# T2 [) k/ C; v
of the assumption that college will help them 4 W6 Y+ F8 B- h1 d
become financially independent.
0 F) X% _4 Q7 a7 P/ b0 sWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. + c. o; `1 U' B% G5 B6 M. ]
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" Y: T7 k$ `3 p- B& {: k' b4 y% G8 Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
! e# R9 b9 C! b9 n) f5 B# d% ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, " _" z: x' A$ y8 a( S
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ) M* X$ u5 q, Q8 F8 m8 a4 j( ^; y
no stock options are offered,$ u2 W; w4 V# ~# d, Y, l6 ?
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 8 e/ G1 t+ t! k( m; o
6 M Q0 S- ^* G6 ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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0 o5 z) B( O+ n" I V: W- pfor life if you play your cards right.
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. r1 y/ D/ B0 J' x1 z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **0 a9 n, b) ~" U+ _
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: _2 i1 [( V4 G5 f$ a z* O- g2 X1 ~letting them know they are appreciated
7 b- x) @. W# Q! q3 b; sfor the fabulous job they do...
: d: e, B2 w8 ]+ u6 a) _or forward with love 9 O& E/ S0 l! \' X, g( }
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
