Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" a) k4 D/ }0 Z* U* RMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! v$ P5 y4 h! C3 MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ ^) V3 l# M( ?+ p

7 d, [7 ~6 X, p; B5 G  EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

" b) g0 v7 V$ J5 a, Xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 m4 c& s/ I: n# z3 v+ gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 N" Z4 S& j+ T+ f8 u# s0 bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 x- h, X2 W1 ?1 f1 V- ~Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 |2 j9 `2 G# ]9 D% x2 VExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ T6 v; H8 L% I3 f$ t; DThe rest of your life.
3 _3 F7 O6 J# RMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ p" _  _# f& [3 H; d/ D  |until someone needs $5.
& a( B. U9 l) Z& M) U. b, K  fMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ `0 C- f: i) Qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 |! K' g! S* r2 C, D) _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: A8 t$ \5 i. C$ j) D. B; }# y4 G- Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ W7 }& f& g! Fand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( t/ [2 s7 c* _5 t. h6 Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ Q3 T5 |$ h* BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
7 D. g) m, i4 f
* [- ^; i, ^+ JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; r! `" r$ f6 mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" F( ]4 y: r  Q6 l: N4 Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

5 }; `3 [! q2 H8 l- N
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ @$ \! @2 U9 U: @. `" L* mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& u  }  q  n, e  T5 c5 l$ `7 ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 i" u6 g" z: d, |become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" |' k/ o4 R8 o" p1 S/ m5 B
- a, D  F/ M: `3 hBENEFITS:
, g; ]& a6 k/ PWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
  D  J) w6 h% X/ s" n& G! K
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  G; n  D8 W' v2 }' O# u7 S2 wfor life if you play your cards right.
5 h* S% L- B! q- M0 z9 s) X



* V8 u( l3 \3 E** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

$ H9 z7 o& j% \  r3 Y
! r! j5 ?" X/ e4 n5 Z* r7 _
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 H/ A( D4 ]( ]* xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
% O9 L" D1 ~" v' O
( N& h6 }' ]5 j6 |+ I- {; q

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.