Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( S( g- i: f1 P, d* K. KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: K6 _  ]# P9 b8 R& Z7 R' pJOB DESCRIPTION:
6 x6 M- c  i/ BLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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: n1 o9 k4 O& M3 b, C: s7 `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. p2 v3 t6 G! ~4 z) i3 ~Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 M! j' D1 L4 v- U$ Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ }: }- p' t, r5 fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 k8 J+ v( k' y  }+ WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 l: J' t/ J) x5 Z9 e! z9 H+ F; |The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- P1 _* D7 u0 E" f3 G0 kin case, this time, the screams from
/ B9 d& H$ D4 m& }. Pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# p/ X) H$ g& ?& U0 Z" n1 Zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% d; n6 ]4 e4 A" g9 ^; qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; W$ x0 ?( M( l% ?6 I7 @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 p. S% `3 Z6 @# p$ e- ^3 v  T! Y6 Q$ Pan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 t" G8 d: [" t! p* m# bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% I. j( U  p% i1 |& j# K* IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
& a6 ]/ T# b7 M$ n- Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. S7 [3 A4 A1 }( \$ lcan ultimately surpass you.
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, @' {3 _- W4 p0 E3 FPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& e3 w- P2 _3 q' o5 w" o( `4 lNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' E8 \6 t' B& l0 m. \Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 _: g: O" \3 y( z+ z- ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 }, r: p% F$ Nof the assumption that college will help them
7 c- z$ C6 \9 W% d. d) kbecome financially independent.
7 F! D. N8 F0 e/ |1 [5 v% NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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; @$ J# Q! Z# U5 q# IBENEFITS:
! L9 ~' N* x7 P. GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" c. S! i: M; c+ s+ r# d3 X/ Ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ X# ^8 W6 i" _, U7 ^4 Dno stock options are offered,
& s3 T% D5 C( l4 l1 y+ ~- kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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& d" W5 }3 F: Y1 n** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! T5 R! j, T% v' ^# dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.