Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 V, d1 d, H' L. vMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 P4 [9 z2 q, i6 v' {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 L( G- }- ^" D& ]6 ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
) H3 u. \3 D3 m! ]+ ?9 G
4 G: G( t/ ~- w. Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* t9 ?1 ~. }7 t4 y  Q# O9 X0 lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) j% m# P; a& r! yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: Q/ Z; y* ^5 |; ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& S( t* c- W$ m2 q; U& Z" s, u( VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 z4 V/ H3 U# d+ V& ~1 N& AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 q: ~# X1 [! {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  m* {( D+ R2 o- P# \Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 w: ]9 q) W' Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 _  S' k* ?( q2 \9 V* q; h" N' lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
- n2 t6 T4 `! d( Q# z1 N* hMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 Y4 k( r# F. o: U2 W9 Scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ F/ x/ g% J" W3 G* \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- k1 s/ ^1 j3 GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ V3 T/ u3 y' \% a, ~( ~6 @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( Z2 v! ~4 i7 P( @4 BMust assume final, complete accountability for
( D: A3 d- [+ s5 y4 P6 D; fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% s9 h: u' n; W! ]Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" P6 t% m4 B% H) U5 P" z9 uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- P6 p$ M3 c4 }1 ^can ultimately surpass you.
4 Q+ [$ J! I8 j; N: h$ h0 i4 s
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. R* E6 p+ F; C: g7 l" M$ ^# y' rNone required, unfortunately.
1 ^' t2 ^1 P$ V) aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

! z0 K! @( ~) Z, F  N( hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 H. X( {- n  H$ Sof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
0 `2 }* x  [$ \' r5 dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; D- [% A1 w$ t* f( J% ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 Y, p! u% D: P3 T, c5 eno stock options are offered,
! K+ g1 g/ `$ G7 {8 W$ x$ U4 f" B, D2 |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 k1 X. Q  q6 r; w+ Wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, M! u1 j) v/ d, ~2 |for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ [. M$ M, o( J% M1 ]letting them know they are appreciated
! I$ q, w# E! \1 pfor the fabulous job they do...
! r# B; {5 C$ kor forward with love
& r0 h  G# N3 ^( Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.