Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


& f2 ^( D2 S+ vJOB DESCRIPTION:
* |2 S5 x6 r* `: {5 P  l8 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
! f; u- O+ ?$ }. s1 z+ _" R0 ~& S
. ]) Z; x" }! N6 G$ |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
( G: p1 r# M3 Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
& K: z8 a7 Z: j7 ~variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' F  g" H; ], N' X$ b# gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" a7 N2 ?8 E" @* g* aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" ?% c& N  `3 Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

0 L+ `2 ?# `( m# p, H6 ORESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" L! U0 O4 y7 d# e7 R# d! k2 I8 buntil someone needs $5.
+ e8 A- I6 i; k* PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) s. t" `0 E- L9 ?9 CAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 b" X  L6 W/ f' `9 `and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" T1 b( U9 F0 vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. F# B0 |+ g8 H1 G5 R- RMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: d" C) N! ?7 E; \: q% M0 _such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 L! @# b0 v8 ^' Z. {# Z. K# dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 Z9 k9 h( Y9 O$ Z! q5 Q* YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- ?) x5 R4 W: b# c; f0 r$ @# w/ p. fan embarrassment the next.
, g' B2 z# L3 N' A7 H3 Y1 y& |8 g0 zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ q! `9 T  G2 |* F# k/ mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- A: @$ u! a" U; X9 j& {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% |0 g7 V) A4 ~6 y+ R; o6 TMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! K& V* z$ X8 X/ g& n; b2 ?# njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

, w7 A! R, x2 cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 w) j9 Y" N8 G$ Y, A. fYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
; e- N6 s2 s0 l4 O' \/ _! cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% ^" R4 {3 s8 O! g( rcan ultimately surpass you.
" Q3 W" B1 q7 V7 k

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: _, ]# s$ n# E1 R) k+ J. XNone required, unfortunately.
; O, v/ ^8 x* _6 a3 ^( QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& s, x1 z# ~- d6 d$ F$ W& F5 sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 F4 T  }5 M9 Z: ^, z  D0 SGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* L6 B2 t) K0 I1 z* `: Ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 u' B4 J9 x. ]6 _% c) |2 nof the assumption that college will help them
4 t: `5 [8 O: T. ebecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ v/ K  q: O" R* Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
( N* t3 R$ ~/ {. P: [4 QWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ l+ I" Y: P0 n) }no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 s$ p% j6 p6 ~. J1 M- Z& x, x$ m
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 B* }+ y* d. D( e* b* z$ ~
# ?$ i2 o; y- }1 D; [for life if you play your cards right.
9 J$ {' t0 N9 w& X


5 C' I% t1 g; b! C  L, g- b
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

3 N' p7 L. b: [# y" J+ j7 c

: Q  k. w/ l" P4 KForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
, ?! v* R' c( L: m  a8 l' A; Qfor the fabulous job they do...
  U' p: b5 w- W  P* v, C9 S9 kor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.