Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% f; H1 ^" @, J. m! fMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* d$ ?& G2 w% ~4 |Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 H) m  e- \( @4 u* cLong term, team players needed for challenging,

/ f& L; B8 ~" {5 j/ a9 P- tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 N8 y# _* O! w  Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 F  P+ u- J" ]9 Q9 T, _% RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* \. y$ _6 w( e+ Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% |. m% a8 K2 t+ f6 NExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 q% ^8 |* j3 g6 g- YThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 R6 K* m  c1 @: D+ h" C2 aAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, L% ~# y! T3 ]7 _and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 {/ q. ?) o8 F$ _4 e) qin case, this time, the screams from
# {6 s2 ]3 R- i: x1 r5 mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ m  k! V, k, H  Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, c2 C. Y) T% Hand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" l5 C$ `- G( |' Acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 T1 S  z. ^. w$ R* C  ^an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ a( O0 q3 r. C# \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. `1 `7 ]& Q9 U6 x( R1 CMust assume final, complete accountability for
; n3 R% K2 K' r) rthe quality of the end product.
+ C. C+ c3 K' o' T5 D+ S7 [Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' ~" |1 `% L) @3 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
9 G8 H+ E, y4 {# S" h
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- d0 B5 _8 d3 ZYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# M8 M5 d5 u7 _/ b0 q: k8 Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

6 g& Q) ~* X) `9 W
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 x# c+ X: G" _None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

$ o5 e" `& g& p; ?- @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 X& N) c' M$ }- u, ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' `& J/ L( F5 A' ^+ P4 y1 _) |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 R; Q* D. U, PBENEFITS:
% a* B6 c$ B2 W) p8 r# U) ~While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 i% T4 y: F' t- C* jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) N# R/ F) z# ~. M3 E5 V/ `
, O/ G* `3 w$ z; X7 X' }0 F) ffor life if you play your cards right.

1 I8 I; A4 S; x( ~8 W1 U" y0 T
$ c; m( ~2 S' V7 W. L: \& |7 Y
) `. D/ j( }3 x
$ n% W! ?8 O# S** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
: v2 J2 c% j- l6 ?# a
& V; L: P$ w6 A  J& U, h5 G( A( u' z

7 Z( H/ w" d  i" D0 ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: ^* t5 Y! R* K) lletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 P( Y' R! j1 s5 D5 Nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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* v; J1 N& }6 r8 _/ d) o

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.