Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! D+ c. j1 [; ?* M/ `. R+ EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ K3 {4 F% {9 s1 L0 P) tJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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* N: p4 ~3 f) q" v0 T- E: Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 t' _. |$ v& bCandidates must possess excellent communication
. O% j/ K- a. ?* o3 ~9 J" ~8 Qand organizational skills and be willing to work
3 r6 x7 z- L' n$ N2 V' evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: x+ F/ n# f3 z+ z! Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; D6 b" p  e, V6 k# I! a3 l) A3 TSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

! k, K0 R: }) d& d1 F/ QRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' T6 F6 B% @- H2 B, F5 EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 V/ |1 ]7 z% {4 d" E2 e, G" z8 ]6 ~until someone needs $5.
7 x8 L! _7 k2 `/ OMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' S4 Y! o2 e+ M/ Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* p( `  e% K: wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: N3 N' D1 h& A( B" Zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# g7 }. a0 S* J+ q+ N% ^5 f  UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 Y, P2 |, d1 V, _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' Z8 y3 _' l9 w5 e- wan embarrassment the next.
1 m. x6 ~% |# y6 X5 AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  \' L  p9 ]" E# t2 Q5 vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 X$ \: j+ X# T( j% \. ~5 KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 {: F1 ]( ]  N9 o5 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 F  u5 J- N5 p* x7 t) rthe quality of the end product.
7 K; t! r) p! e9 hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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5 ^9 m) M- j/ O8 N, r8 q' XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; F! L* U% W9 |) N! BNone.
1 x7 G) _, b2 I0 v8 t& Q3 JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' a* I# d! O9 i0 m# S& R7 Fcan ultimately surpass you.

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2 e" }, R* \  E& U) s  k. {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- p/ k9 y% p5 W+ k8 A3 A. DNone required, unfortunately.
. c, e( g$ q; J1 R2 ~/ rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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; ~  F9 A) T: p& O' a% w7 W* k: qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' g  e+ @& ?! m, yGet this! You pay them!
8 l2 J5 x/ S2 {: j+ ~( {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% W7 j4 t: e4 sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 J$ U1 q2 v* k# M( ^$ ?0 n  gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; Y' J% o8 j( T( C. j9 L( Uno stock options are offered,
# H% @* j& r4 q  B' pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



1 Z: e0 M  U+ u- q$ L) \1 k% HForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
0 S  u; f' v3 Q! U4 X, K2 |for the fabulous job they do...
% l1 u5 z6 _$ R9 f& w  n% gor forward with love
, M: _% }6 H+ P' P* yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.