Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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0 j2 D( \( ?9 p! f' ZJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) s5 c$ K/ g+ a6 f% o8 ~; i6 cCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* h0 V- O% t& U+ ^( W1 v0 Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- j# _  C( A( y( r" ^! y0 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 a" l! V+ m4 m! y& ^4 `1 l$ ]2 vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 S3 |/ F/ z5 STravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ e+ W2 l1 ?& n4 K6 MExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 p/ Z: D, u4 p9 j! PThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 O* e3 X- z3 Z3 V" ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% q% P" z9 h# D9 N4 e0 A, \# l' s/ j: b/ Cin case, this time, the screams from
, K# n% t+ z# x1 V2 v. d. E7 `5 Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# {' E9 B; V/ K8 B) Z, H3 cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; h0 N5 O0 x! J4 d% K/ |% h+ \) ^such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 W  y5 u' L( ~) T( p4 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, e" j; j5 Q" `1 `/ N9 P/ Ian embarrassment the next.
; g. m7 a, w) f- {! D' ?+ hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& v) c& @/ z- g  N0 t. O, ]5 l: |( {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* `" R3 a; a5 V5 P' H2 S' pthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% m9 L* B4 M& k* wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
/ I# V9 ]% h. v+ B! wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ x, e) B, l, E7 q- Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 R: q3 _! R/ w2 q/ x% q6 ]8 c' ycan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- n, R1 o8 {' m* w3 I+ t2 COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 ~3 x% P3 t; P6 r7 l$ Aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ L4 \+ x( D$ b& K# Bof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 ]: l( f* t0 H* a! gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 j/ b( {# O8 n- o9 f' {8 {& U' p, M5 BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

, Y2 c. G+ X  nBENEFITS:
( L. Z% J, \# `. qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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4 J7 z5 |/ o) V$ H# nfor life if you play your cards right.
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" c& a. F& i2 j; z; [- |* Y6 B! w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
1 s' L# O% b/ p0 Y; Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
5 R% Q# b, o. g% rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.