Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 W% S9 u6 @+ aJOB DESCRIPTION:
. U; }, u, X/ s# e: oLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 n4 W0 `6 ~1 Y" _! Q& G# \0 jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' V. N4 L1 o  R( x) n+ t5 Xand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; a+ n9 S' c2 QSome overnight travel required, including trips to
% Z8 c4 F) g) t+ ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 R2 I  V( K6 r1 gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 f; r- L& B) T+ [0 R& vExtensive courier duties also required.
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+ O# T- R, |! m" ^$ JRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 [; N$ I& v, nuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 O) a2 _. D& L" o3 {- OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' y! c6 C* g* [- F2 R; land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ r; S. m4 V- n$ P# H% d5 I6 n' tin case, this time, the screams from
6 }! `" V5 n& e: C% t, \  [/ E' `" t  z7 Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 I8 D# \! K+ C" _4 pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 ?) R6 d/ M! m$ aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 [, h* G/ a  O5 W2 A) n0 scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- X. c. s6 h( d$ H& {  Z- b+ zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, g8 N9 L- t5 Wthe quality of the end product.
3 G8 u  [7 F1 x9 qResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) w( W/ R/ Q& b$ z/ Sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% |: U" N; Q% Z! |* Z% n7 MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 _' F  S1 Z% f+ X1 }2 I$ ~updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, i) j, ~; D: `# z  Pcan ultimately surpass you.

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: o2 ]; e# ?' Z9 d* }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! S/ W% [5 b' o" A9 yOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  I; `5 _; i: _7 bWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) ^# b" j8 f; n1 K# S. |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" O' P: }5 w* d& v6 l/ j  bof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( ]) P7 X& N) y, f* bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
- B$ G, G1 K" S- SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ b& M- p/ z2 \5 W" o3 Sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 y3 a2 ]! _, P- ^5 jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ d  t; W& s/ _0 junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

" z! q: @- B' |/ `* \9 }% C! V2 vfor life if you play your cards right.
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+ Y0 z; O" Q' |! p( m1 T5 _. M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ S) C$ j, _' p1 y& |4 L! Lfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.