Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' f( u& J. n! D$ K* ~) c( `; ~$ ~; EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


- {- Z% y, `& P- O; H" l3 wJOB DESCRIPTION:
8 y7 N. @6 f5 w9 _8 x" ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,

& K& y$ l9 `. Y- c  r; opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" ^3 g, I5 Q' N3 B: y9 zCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* Y) n5 R8 v& D% e2 y. wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 ^  m9 D# Z, F- b: g* uSome overnight travel required, including trips to
  Z1 h( Y7 w, S4 u  A+ qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ G. H  ^2 p. p& Cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

. ~$ i" W, I3 i* a1 jRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 |+ j5 i  K* P6 Y' x1 Y( Uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 u9 b& X- T( S7 Q7 sin case, this time, the screams from
9 x; L' o; y, _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# A4 b# `5 O% z2 X8 R" N  Y4 Vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 ?  n" L; J4 I) s" X2 }1 O0 t9 tand stuck zippers.
' n. v/ B' w& \+ s2 j, mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; P' G9 z3 a! Nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 ^2 Q* \. N! Bthe quality of the end product.
& h5 Q4 |  Q, s! @3 Z7 lResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% d5 ^+ X2 q; \0 T  j+ gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 M1 r6 j  x; q) m2 v2 b! b( ^. IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 U8 [" b  O# H3 K7 l2 K% C3 owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, o: \+ I6 D4 S$ Ucan ultimately surpass you.
9 E' e( r# C" d, A& d" N7 x

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. x- J/ @. ^$ {# [None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
/ L$ q; M: ~& `; F0 T; W! q
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' v* r2 k! Z( Sof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 _# i3 I5 G/ G# V/ R/ OWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ K4 ^$ R4 A8 ^9 Z9 `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
( _" M$ c8 Z' ^) p. |While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# k8 D8 }  X9 ^% Vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
/ f) N; N' E/ e* B4 _' Q
6 Y7 Q4 I- A; [) ?6 O+ |unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

" q: J4 F( \4 F/ u; `for life if you play your cards right.
3 {9 k# F& h9 W2 m6 f9 B" I% W

: a+ t! C5 ~$ i+ o) o) M

( p2 k- [# K+ Z7 j5 w, r: T! t- a** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
, ?6 |3 c$ ?) D. J# |% Q
8 u1 i; U7 |7 Z2 Y% @
% }$ E9 u, ~! r; h
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: ^! _* E) ?- o6 Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.