 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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: s4 t) } a! {Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 2 ?& J) t9 k- f
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: v6 @6 t, _/ L; ~+ u7 t: _JOB DESCRIPTION:8 h2 m1 w6 ]6 U( l
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 i/ ~1 L. r! }# h1 b9 q) y1 xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. * ?% Q- L/ n0 ~1 f$ Y- E
Candidates must possess excellent communication " x$ N* h/ J j
and organizational skills and be willing to work ( j# I. y2 P* p: `, K
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 E; g8 @. O2 u( _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. - ]+ [! {5 o3 Y+ z/ a/ ^
Some overnight travel required, including trips to / w; p6 a1 M6 L- A0 M% X9 A; g
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# F0 P+ t" s+ _ x& dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 o: z- U; K7 o* s M% UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& ?* X% R9 ]! T0 e" W5 n* `% NExtensive courier duties also required.
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6 g( W( c% y. i/ G1 O$ ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
" D; }( K0 l, {) UThe rest of your life. " B# Y/ M2 g+ \- w0 }9 A$ v
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ( _9 ?+ w5 @. X6 y
until someone needs $5. ) Q" r; Z. {5 Z% E1 Z) y
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' a+ s7 H7 x! }6 | x2 LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule - q- A" D! l6 r
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 1 r# b" j. H( X8 X# {8 X4 Y. M8 M
in case, this time, the screams from
d- t! P3 y- z% D, G) rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* C, m" W7 h( j* @Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, : i2 Y+ Z2 v$ G! _: T0 m5 Q8 H
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ; ~( Y; b( E+ ~8 K' V" P
and stuck zippers.
v( F1 X% {# C% s, yMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 a% P: j( y+ i& z# w/ v4 }coordinate production of multiple homework projects. . J0 M# t; F. g: d
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ( T, @9 p3 q! W- h! y/ C0 L/ l
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 I1 Y1 c/ N+ H4 c* ~$ r- `, K$ ]an embarrassment the next.
% ^: M9 Y# a, x1 m6 H9 V) D, SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a $ b% E0 G% _ B: ?3 h3 p7 I
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) |" j# D) \4 a, z4 ]/ v) O, ?Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. " D7 p5 f: ]! M% { E
Must assume final, complete accountability for 8 o" U/ y" t, Y( p
the quality of the end product.
6 h* F5 e8 P% V7 k3 V+ w# _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ) n# W) R$ `5 r8 N- k
janitorial work throughout the facility. # L/ M" @+ }4 F: Z, N# D, X
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:; y: J9 c" A. [; K: ~
None.
7 M" R8 R1 s! c! rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* p$ A2 S6 M$ _& @without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ E7 }9 [( g$ Y, z7 E+ T( e: dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 9 _1 P! S1 H% s0 @+ e" l
can ultimately surpass you.5 Z- U( i+ ?4 D7 v1 g
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( a! h B4 ^* A/ oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: " Z2 d( V7 J# G$ P5 G
None required, unfortunately. 2 I; j$ V1 P9 \$ H# j# f
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 0 P0 `3 v) W) v; m- z0 C( i
* a; M9 u; c, K) lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! I' o9 \; o5 x, BGet this! You pay them! ' O4 `: s/ M) B& q/ u
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. # C! m/ p. ], r- y/ M0 `; |
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 E7 M8 s) t& \$ y/ F5 f% L9 Xof the assumption that college will help them
], h# v; z7 ^$ cbecome financially independent.
1 d Q5 U. [, GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 9 t0 G% F0 S: u" U8 e! m% K9 c
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; `2 @ s' W/ j/ n$ T; V5 jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% v% H' Q+ o) p/ B4 F% Y1 fBENEFITS: 2 p, m$ e9 d/ |) I! L
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( R0 x" p9 b+ H* d9 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 @0 V- B: g; Pno stock options are offered,+ ?" A9 z. {" t% E/ X. G9 f
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses : C9 z( G' G; W
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for life if you play your cards right.! u I6 O8 H8 z6 ^0 t
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **6 M4 p& z- C E3 Q; O
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0 W0 E) v1 L" A; y. m& rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
j. J2 x7 d' V9 l2 c: }letting them know they are appreciated ) |8 I/ D: J" t' N5 J5 a
for the fabulous job they do...
7 M4 U, h* |5 {% C- Q9 T! Oor forward with love 6 H& A8 r3 O! s1 `0 ^, Y }
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
