Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% e  ?: i" R. U: _1 N, ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- U) j0 n  f. T, YJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 S% F- _- R# }* X$ VLong term, team players needed for challenging,

7 x$ ]8 P: W0 Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) G$ L5 x" \+ F& @Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* E8 b# B" }; `3 C+ p5 z5 [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! ^, t9 [3 ?3 C& q! xSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# @9 L0 A. y. F1 h* Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' {7 e" ]; V5 v' q# `1 h- ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 ]+ H6 p' B- l, `$ H, a" b- lExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
+ z# {2 Z0 d' w3 P+ [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' ?. J3 j. D, H+ A+ pAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
2 V$ j" O4 U; g2 W" |the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 t' \6 ^% q( V" o9 A* vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ @1 W: y9 I1 Z, O8 a- pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, M( E( N: S# J) PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 ^2 e* z/ V3 _8 r* C+ \) R7 qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 e6 V# Y6 W" x3 m2 f# QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
: @4 r2 o2 t9 @; y) {! \  uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 i1 C# E5 Z) aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
3 p# ~: ~1 f  u+ j: Y0 {. ?2 MYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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7 j0 I+ f$ W8 ?4 nPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* L0 O/ q0 B7 oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ R" ?7 v7 x+ v6 @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 }+ i6 b; m) h0 n. ]Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. V3 w9 H* d" [* d0 t8 Sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; y3 {1 Q* ]) R: Z5 [! l& V( G& gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
, `) A4 N8 i* }9 D5 `, R# dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
; H% ?! m4 J. Z% w3 }4 CWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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0 [, |  P' N0 B* F2 Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




1 U) G1 H. N% c** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 R4 N& _5 O  W4 U6 oletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 H! T2 w/ U! X- _- v' Jor forward with love
: B2 ~+ p" K3 H: f: |: r+ v. o- }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.