Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
1 Q1 n+ x  \: C! ~5 P) p2 w
# w: q3 x0 x" S# r
8 h- h$ }  x9 I1 \9 P* }* vJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
* S  `  G; O2 I' L
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ l! I$ ?6 y0 T. T7 `% F/ MCandidates must possess excellent communication
3 N' h+ a$ i' f% D" m$ {and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ o; j2 a1 G) c  ^; tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* L. S9 X- G# ^7 K4 u1 TTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
: m5 H# J8 I# F1 x; v% ^$ x
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. z* o6 q( K4 vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 `: g2 B- ~+ x  T6 d7 s/ yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
. L* b- Y- g4 m  W- _, _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 V; p/ h0 c6 n2 N0 w# |; @and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  u7 r: \. o1 mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 K* m3 B% A7 }8 ?an embarrassment the next.
6 y# ]6 @' E7 S3 C2 JMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ l. F. H! ~( `  [) K& D$ iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 Y, I  l! ^( j$ B* R% tthe quality of the end product.
3 J- n8 Z( v7 W. r. w7 t5 }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
& ]5 n- z- {( ^
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 S; q" G1 Q* u$ S; LNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
$ {2 Y2 J; S6 d3 r' `# f
7 a4 ]3 @& O! zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
, a/ ?5 G. P4 J- M# Y" [2 K0 n& V0 vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 W# t3 t7 f2 Y$ C1 ], BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, `7 K' S  u; ]/ _( ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
# h8 ~0 P& a- l( K/ r# V
1 Y" r0 }0 C9 N( Z4 ?; TBENEFITS:
5 Z7 v% \0 p) a  h% VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ F( c" ]4 B: M% {( Vno stock options are offered,
, X+ o* T. p' m% x7 @: s8 q$ O$ S) fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 p. Z* h$ o# p3 L( ]2 u
for life if you play your cards right.

' o8 u2 z+ ]/ r$ h+ r! Y4 R


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 d& K. [; C0 q. H* R
/ n. J* r. k& [
6 y. o! V5 S% ~7 ]7 f0 F" T! c
: I8 r4 P- j# A% D. d) zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, ?* \6 W0 Q' P9 O1 o$ qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

! e1 D( r) y7 k* {

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.