Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ j/ Y; v) A+ O0 M* G; GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: v, D, Y: i8 i9 aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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9 Y6 f- U5 ^( ~" {4 X* d2 dJOB DESCRIPTION:
5 P& f8 M% L" L, ], W8 u3 P# A( j/ SLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( J% A# l& k8 K$ XCandidates must possess excellent communication
  n% U, k0 |* k, s9 b: W% @and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 h# t( y1 {" x. A* u  Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; L4 z7 W' m: G+ [; _3 y% ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( o/ J# V# @$ tSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* R2 ?3 o$ \; \8 q5 O/ B  oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ i+ ^# E+ b/ ~% t2 ~7 IRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 J7 J! |/ X7 T) tThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 N# C. M* b8 r5 y+ A3 L# r/ Muntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) [( w* j1 j- P0 ?4 ^, J/ Aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
% l- d3 x; k, I) wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 l# E1 H! J% |6 P8 z' \such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: L. V' Q2 E1 U) k& Y1 dand stuck zippers.
& G% {0 i# n( F) l; uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 H. j! @, M3 L& e0 B. Ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* A& D. q! U! i" s0 J/ xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! F  O/ p5 Y+ [. ?: ?5 k2 [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! Y. h6 Q4 Y0 E1 x* F7 w: b( ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
! V; h( a( a7 |# D  A1 G' wthe quality of the end product.
5 k* b0 j9 q# X* F1 _( ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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: ^5 W) V9 n/ O, kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 N$ ^) R0 n0 pNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) z: C" D) ]% t: Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ }9 e: D% g% T& _) G% U# Zcan ultimately surpass you.
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: U6 b8 d) `, _. ]  gPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ ^- d; P9 ^- T1 BNone required, unfortunately.
' P( ]' P  Q- P* B' w& Z" R& NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 z- W$ X4 D  R: ?Get this! You pay them!
& e. m! z5 l! H5 J) I0 U& cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 M- }! F8 f' ^0 m( k+ T+ v6 \a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# x+ K) q# g2 j  gof the assumption that college will help them
9 }) W: p' Z" q: r8 }become financially independent.
$ f" `# u/ z, S, wWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 U% X5 J, c7 F, V+ R- Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. q+ \: u7 @5 C% C# bBENEFITS:
1 w( ]6 e3 t5 }6 lWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 G7 G: G/ j2 l9 ono stock options are offered,
% g( P( T  }( E6 {! c1 O4 ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. d5 S0 N8 e; `, j6 V( Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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3 x& J- R& A  ^- m- f7 lfor life if you play your cards right.
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& n6 u; p5 k  h+ {* ^** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
5 K1 }! y2 ~' q0 n7 Eor forward with love
$ q* a. ]! U; C* b  xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.