 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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3 k; I! g" S! ]) @1 Z r* jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 1 t1 C0 F2 o& t8 _' a
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa6 W' ^, M1 N3 U$ @* t: @! Y
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4 o7 L. r' k2 O4 bJOB DESCRIPTION:4 a, `0 N- N& H6 j
Long term, team players needed for challenging,/ [: W3 o, Y9 d- v* i& L2 R
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. ' }5 y. w7 R; I' _- U
Candidates must possess excellent communication " O. `* n- Z% |4 c
and organizational skills and be willing to work % G0 I0 m+ X9 U8 ?0 d, G; x" N; J
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, G/ j9 `0 o6 L! U0 wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 X* g8 G) n O5 t. WSome overnight travel required, including trips to / Z- V' Q8 J$ ~) w
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and & i4 d# i" l) R
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 b8 C5 P$ p# P2 F& y( M7 ^ I! RTravel expenses not reimbursed. 8 s) G) e9 A' C3 ~& z0 C+ ?8 G
Extensive courier duties also required. 2 o% `8 l/ p3 {9 O' ]
* L$ D! E- R0 x: w- oRESPONSIBILITIES:
' B* E! h) l3 D8 U. M6 ?3 ?; HThe rest of your life. : I" h! s/ B/ P; `' }# ^! M
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; {1 l2 q% R7 ? E! A/ H0 Auntil someone needs $5.
2 F! P2 f4 Y ]( c g0 [5 I9 c* KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. / x0 I2 I% Q* \( o, c& c" ^
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 4 B7 V1 q$ V$ m6 G+ w
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) j3 k2 m" U( Z" p; M4 din case, this time, the screams from
) h2 Y$ `& A% G) Lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 2 |* F4 J& B9 V! r3 s0 O0 M+ w
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: P0 C8 X( e9 msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 6 l7 x7 m% ~2 K8 l7 K0 g
and stuck zippers.
# @; b* I6 ]- Q; c4 xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and / t/ g5 w B% T8 Z" }
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 c8 Z. P$ j! J# IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- z" Z* @1 `8 D; OMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 2 }" f! }+ V; c! ]; m. I3 W
an embarrassment the next.
/ A# u0 |+ [; k9 u, c% |' I' hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a . i2 L0 ]# Q d
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- Z1 m' u. d) `7 LMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 G% o% @/ T4 T1 Q; }6 I2 ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
4 O1 _5 T6 K% S! x% O- P* ?# Gthe quality of the end product. 5 P- n X- G& S) |+ M
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 h- |7 s3 b: R9 L, A0 F5 J1 P* M' v$ xjanitorial work throughout the facility. b: ?5 z) v8 H
1 Y* @! O& S! fPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, H4 }9 {. h1 f( C) b9 oNone.
\3 ?; h% n: ]( {- U3 s$ E5 W* H2 FYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 8 Y7 Y% i8 E6 x3 ~' z s
without complaining,constantly retraining and ; k- G; s! l7 X# a: j3 f6 V
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ R3 @7 a$ [4 n3 F, p) Ccan ultimately surpass you." b+ B$ Y/ ~9 ]8 a! f. h
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 4 }8 u, \+ I% z' j3 q% [
None required, unfortunately. ; C4 h8 U# `2 m. W/ \, y, @
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ; \6 p2 x9 x: S# K$ C+ I
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 2 j. P) D1 R" [. g+ a; o9 ]( q; R
Get this! You pay them!
: {( n- l1 ]& `3 h2 X" VOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 J9 S) C; U7 Z2 N& ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
E' _' K0 D5 P; k9 ?" L% Hof the assumption that college will help them
0 v; n+ g6 D. kbecome financially independent. % r. ^& {2 a4 t% \
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, m# s8 G( O/ T* ^, yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 P- A. O: e3 R' Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. / D- a7 M3 R+ p% r2 B" [; V
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BENEFITS: 5 F- }* b9 c a' o* D2 F
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 M. V, \0 h% s% M* m) d. yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 1 E3 [6 f- c! k# _4 J) {+ Y, i
no stock options are offered,# t, k! h: o" @/ X7 j) j- J
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 8 r( F q- n5 o5 @8 T3 z" Y
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 1 w; y$ M- S& ~
8 ]# V1 I3 g/ u2 @( b: }for life if you play your cards right.* Q$ g; z8 @7 E! [: c0 ^5 Z
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 5 X; F2 F* P p6 r
letting them know they are appreciated
) y! c- V( |' _ c: O- I _for the fabulous job they do...
7 y6 O! X' I* T' m% k7 S l) ror forward with love - N! q/ o4 b t. V9 i. l
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.& V. [; H5 @* ^2 O1 \9 e" D
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
