Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' r1 s8 a( L( @/ JMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
1 H9 L8 Z. O( F$ [7 Y( d0 ]
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1 ?3 l+ _" @2 @. ~JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ G( n! V; M" f/ ?. \# W% W* ~+ rLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: x* l3 M9 F+ B6 f% L6 O; iCandidates must possess excellent communication
( F" P$ t: U" Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 @. G% e, @% s  Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: w) o1 z  Y2 X) z* q- USome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ s6 ], l# ?0 Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" M7 d6 f& d6 n( F- C- Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 @& P! u9 X  U$ Q8 x+ V  ^Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 @4 ?, p8 B& UExtensive courier duties also required.
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; ^9 o6 K$ i0 `: v% \) kRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
3 I. }: b+ ?: x3 SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' ~$ d. p2 d+ X8 Nuntil someone needs $5.
5 \$ n  G2 O; W3 m+ ^  fMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 {+ O2 S9 [# A4 ~- ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 ^6 R( h* T0 n( h4 m. K3 Pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# l' D& L8 T, y+ ^, n0 FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 t/ _' s$ J! d* \; M; D, A: psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- |0 T6 u, o7 C- B- ~& V: nand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) u9 ]8 b# B8 G& TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( j* Z& d* `2 R: G& G4 ?1 Nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 _& W* v: {% i: hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% ~8 w9 J. J* U1 w- I( [janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' |6 U; N# M+ H% j; G$ R1 Z: pNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ y' e2 o! @4 U/ Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* ^2 Y) q! e( H8 Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- Z3 |7 N2 m' q% gcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 x) o, p/ i: |9 l4 n6 Q' cGet this! You pay them!
9 m+ v3 Z0 W$ p% s: Y  qOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 ]  [3 ?& Q/ B  Kof the assumption that college will help them
( F3 c. @- L2 w. K2 N4 Rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( ^( S- B+ }4 Y1 }8 nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: P/ u# l6 H2 s- x- k# y* S  v3 TBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' \# y9 }1 |& L# m. u% H: M1 Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- `/ W& ?/ i' R1 j6 T+ Tfor life if you play your cards right.



3 P% p0 v: x! f/ ~- L+ e! @# k
- a' ?3 Q9 f5 r4 d+ v5 Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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. ^6 A/ c9 a- E# i# `Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 P* g9 d* D$ s% D" dletting them know they are appreciated
7 V, ^- ?& ?& k: ?& Z' I+ p+ Hfor the fabulous job they do...
" I' K1 T/ A, X: @or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.