Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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" _1 u( r7 A' w4 t6 T! B0 M$ EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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; R2 K2 v; k9 p5 |( A! kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* h. f1 n* E. [, hCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 ?- k/ D( p. u% hand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( F. H' g9 T' n& @" m8 jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: f$ `* L2 w$ Y+ Y; Hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- X& P3 _( f3 n) Wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 V: ]: B9 @7 }+ HExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& F) g/ b2 N5 P" s, NAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) N8 B8 P, L( P9 vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* O" E& z) o2 R9 x5 tin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% o1 L. L2 r8 [! t$ b6 ?1 x8 V( ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 m* k8 Q. U; M' @# ^8 JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 }' t  b( z3 Q8 b. i! a- }( YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 w% Y1 |% y4 {an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
3 l/ y5 p1 L, t$ ?Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' Z. v& X* C( _4 ~; T$ Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 @0 F- y" l- T. aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ N% G! i( h: j6 ?+ [& Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: E4 E/ T) Y" n3 E3 v4 h4 C# g0 Ccan ultimately surpass you.

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: J" P9 A; ~7 x0 T4 F# wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' w9 _  ^  _! ~1 C# rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- l. I( O8 o' O, B! Q6 ?6 U' [WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 Z0 M" Y$ f3 e7 F/ i8 ]" K' h$ DGet this! You pay them!
& `% ~+ A% z/ M  lOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 \: Z3 l- Q) G9 ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, z+ {- F( }" U& P( t+ N; Bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& W! J3 h2 E- }- @The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& `4 X+ l/ k, z8 e! dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. g1 f. F4 _/ b- ?  N6 P1 g" D' jno stock options are offered,
, N4 r+ y. V/ J% x' K$ pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

( C1 g; I/ e/ G! t4 Efor life if you play your cards right.
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" B( ^& J* ?& v8 z% u8 n# e  b- c** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ g+ R0 r7 t" O2 x3 t! N% uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.