Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. I  N4 O" L: |8 r4 MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
6 ?5 x( Y8 M9 e, N) w- u/ v4 b
* O! q6 n7 `' ^" j+ h# }6 v: J, Vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: W" z* P$ J) x! {3 Q: h% \0 `8 RCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. w# c  V; G$ b- Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ f9 {1 _; j! m& M9 ]! f4 B) r- ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
& P+ e4 ]6 n$ [+ w6 \0 l, X, [
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. n8 f# }: x% j5 P& oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ D/ v$ O: a, @6 MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' R  S1 m& r$ t; G" W9 n$ O5 m& e, j# Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 m: N3 z  B9 a/ J7 w* y' X  k2 rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ X9 Y9 Z5 H! `+ Yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ R$ y& }$ q8 Q  r8 m- w& e) E* gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! q$ x3 _0 ~& ~& w2 Z$ J, nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 |/ u2 I0 [9 m: [- R" EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ G- p" v6 S& C! b* t( O6 l- n1 |: T2 jan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" @0 ^, H. D1 v7 G# bMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  A8 ^3 [1 O0 Y3 ^  HResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& c2 m$ g! J; `! C$ e  z5 ]4 Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- V  R  ^, g& a+ C  w9 Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 E7 f, |! @" f, M! {' s3 |can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ @+ u6 U. }1 o; r) c9 |None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; o9 ?- \$ u9 }8 {/ t. p
" E% d' t+ I1 c! q# W. ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
+ J) ?- G! H& m% v# U' }1 LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
% U5 ]$ \( V, n3 N8 ]2 n/ H. \3 g$ ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( a; @3 x5 D! N2 c" l' zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  f3 t4 c+ U: C: E1 _8 RBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; i! L! u9 X7 |/ ~# W& R7 Zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
# P3 w9 T3 M' f* n% rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ Y, t  t) j- l- [% {; U
5 @2 z) p: r% r0 v+ M3 zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

9 b! H9 [+ `* d' q, W, s
7 M4 o+ s" U3 _/ U8 W  m
' o+ k0 ?6 W3 i) N
' G; l% r+ b+ ^' }: |  S- r** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
. k  s( y8 c  p1 C
+ X0 g7 g- U% J
& i, t6 ^' i/ H6 k8 Y0 C; {
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# ?" A. H) H$ s# M$ Jletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: l! N- V8 S+ M7 X8 vor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.