Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 h! S" C" t& |Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 {. r7 A% Y: Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" w- Z* |  s+ P, P1 I* r+ YCandidates must possess excellent communication
2 Y7 R$ {4 o0 A8 z4 V$ x  jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 E9 ^4 C2 k) mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 x- x" X- ^" H- W5 h7 x+ L8 A8 BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( R4 ]/ @& }" q# W( b& P# \, \' Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 _5 p/ X( k' z8 x- Q' T# Fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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* i  J, Q  y4 R! B7 oRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 z8 W, E2 N4 F* X4 ]$ OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 @; b* L: {" s7 v! h5 _& O5 t3 R" Auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' f7 y! W7 l0 G' T0 {! }2 Yin case, this time, the screams from
* U# X+ @" g6 Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* Q4 J6 w" c: }$ o9 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  {# d; L  M; V1 _" j" kand stuck zippers.
5 b! A% H" s( H. M8 ?2 TMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- R7 M) u2 D/ \0 o: tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 r' y* r2 u% f) t% F; WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' S, w7 ]3 a$ ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' m$ q4 \1 L8 X6 Dan embarrassment the next.
7 {/ f, N& {% J$ J+ P. N8 K/ ?6 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 t+ u5 o# c" l9 m, }' UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 k& E( J2 q- g1 @" f1 G0 fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' M; ?/ z: s& s- _* t+ pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

: s$ m7 ]5 P/ ^9 X. {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- [. ^8 H) r- K) r1 N- U/ T$ W' f/ SNone.
% e# h6 W2 l# z; u5 f: HYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- g2 d- I& M5 u6 P' Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# S  u6 P; f, [+ E7 ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, w( d6 s' a+ \can ultimately surpass you.
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8 |, ]. r' l( z& {! H
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 n( b. f0 R( I! b6 R" c* G5 {& oNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 G% J: j8 y9 WWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! e6 a- ^+ _% d; m  r; F* g; tGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! u4 X2 P6 q3 }" N6 k4 Ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 Y" l; A3 Q# |% Y$ tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 h9 R- M! c1 |/ _) z" w) yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ \5 c' w9 t8 m; cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: a) K& v$ O' Y$ i8 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ }% l  Y- q9 d: h3 b3 ~4 G) qno stock options are offered,
& ~1 P+ a3 g' {" Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; Z- S" C$ q7 V1 Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

+ k# Q$ ?+ ~" t7 Z6 _


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 s# K! o$ u/ K( d7 ^" W% [

: v8 u6 {8 W/ P7 ^8 _Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 X3 F, Z5 I  Y, }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.