Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 b( ^, p! z9 c9 P. H, E0 MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ k+ e2 q+ l$ r0 ]  gLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 i$ `  L. U/ Q- @0 o+ Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
# w2 {( A) V5 svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 A/ e# [& H. v0 g' |Some overnight travel required, including trips to
2 b7 q2 j) Z1 b" ~! z5 k+ j; Eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ k3 \- F3 z+ K$ D5 @4 Cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ N3 X! N  ~) {8 x1 d; J1 N( mRESPONSIBILITIES:
% a; p: A4 ]9 S& tThe rest of your life.
1 r+ c' M: R5 a0 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  I6 l5 ]5 N& M/ T+ V8 M0 @until someone needs $5.
9 p8 q8 V' T1 k" q6 E' S# K$ @2 ]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 O/ a% g$ d9 X4 y( z; D- g( y$ j# [2 Sin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ S. Z* _  H& w+ o7 M( xan embarrassment the next.
" k% s& d8 y8 x; WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! ~1 \2 l2 Z+ S1 r" H. f# ^8 Y4 IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
2 M3 I2 y) g0 t9 F( ?. P5 ?Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 l2 F" r3 v- G' k3 k9 hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

% F! E0 U7 {" v8 x* P9 yPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 O+ A( j8 j' H% MYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
& q8 p3 i. M; G1 a2 L" m& Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' r. U: |: n( x% S$ D( M/ Bcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* {3 {. G6 v. X9 z' k1 I7 wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ N! d6 y8 I3 [2 W, `Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 X7 J+ j+ |1 \, T9 ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) d" z  E: d# W! [% s3 G. A9 ]5 Fof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 \6 B9 [, S5 Y, ]3 J# `3 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
& n& J6 k; E& O/ ]9 j6 F; r7 w0 RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; x5 j" i0 H: z  H2 T  K0 wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

* A( j" e  i9 r1 ABENEFITS:
5 [, i8 c3 F  C/ a5 @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 J2 m2 H8 H6 m0 `  Dno stock options are offered,
3 H) ^4 G! V& @- Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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& w8 ~' S7 u. n' i! S! efor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 e( q  ?# E9 a$ B* D$ Tletting them know they are appreciated
  h: v- r' c6 l) Vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
' c$ v! Y9 o, X/ tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.