Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* a4 f8 y* i$ `5 B4 v* }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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2 M' l- P& L) p  m0 [4 \4 N& gJOB DESCRIPTION:
) c  R5 }7 n) U  @7 c3 }! Y5 ^; OLong term, team players needed for challenging,

. e& L/ S9 _# t' L4 D) ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 A$ p1 m% m, P8 ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
& V( |+ o5 A8 V* J( F0 _and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 @1 c  S* G7 |# h# p1 WSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 e. R8 ]+ @2 L- M6 R8 ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! \: a) W) z1 O) a) h8 }: x- _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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7 J" E; [. V5 A: ]2 j9 ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 P3 c* I6 |5 o1 y0 ~, tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 o# G/ i  u7 }9 A! i1 o1 FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. j! ]2 s. W$ f$ p0 c1 J7 m- m: y' }in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ x* q# o( k' Wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# C) D3 p" R4 m+ Rand stuck zippers.
( R! @/ z$ }4 s6 r( L+ xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. w* C$ q" l* ?3 kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 W! U* q4 G4 |: DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ d9 \1 {1 ~3 }an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 I  q; S8 _! |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# r, Y, F: N% G2 K3 |6 ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
: v) y) `: e# V# GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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4 w  x/ S+ R# ?, bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* [- n: }% c$ i* x$ Z, K1 XNone.
! G% o: c+ p% w% O& u9 C" G% jYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
( k  U. A7 u# R: Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& ]6 r4 P; z+ @  G) r9 @2 l! ~. u) z  fNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ [1 O5 J0 E: m7 p% [/ J  C: WWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
: h- D- Q0 P; g3 l4 \9 @+ pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 s  V' i1 w. H: Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* I2 t3 T9 {! f0 K' j8 Z6 `of the assumption that college will help them
6 b& t3 o3 ^8 S; u3 \7 m4 ?6 {become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 @! U# ?% {/ q4 b* KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, l' e; n3 H" c+ [; G6 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 m6 `7 S: y( k. W  K7 X3 e9 gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 j$ R& L8 D7 VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 ^7 h9 ^8 V0 z! Z  U2 K, [letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) u& S) e! ~+ Y, f# ]4 F9 H, S) Uor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.