Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
: P* n/ F6 c. D( T0 aLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% ?0 X# F, c1 Aand organizational skills and be willing to work
# z% {  J5 D$ @' [- G+ L' h% k! Tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- p, B0 r0 f6 F  ]3 I" |( w) ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 ~9 p8 S. F% H! L1 q, ]6 AExtensive courier duties also required.
$ ]6 n' I; [% t8 c" m" [
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ }# C6 D* a  Q1 @7 t1 C- e* _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ E; ~$ }' n& y+ |& n! Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: T" ~' R6 G7 L3 `3 S9 `$ asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 m/ V& ~3 g: Land stuck zippers.
0 `7 b- |3 A  _  _* ]: V/ jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! }5 U' Z' X# K' \8 Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) d' |; t  q0 ?) C8 uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ F! N5 k, u, A# h5 N4 mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- K9 ?8 F" ]: w9 k' J+ e5 M! E) O8 IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, R0 c8 W( v/ y. r( Cjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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/ Z! m* \* W2 x- t* ^  p0 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 f+ f4 W4 [- zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- ~' T/ j7 D" @6 h) Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  W5 j! \0 n9 S  r" Ycan ultimately surpass you.

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) @! y  G% p: QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ S/ z) m) K+ z5 _" d" t. [6 sNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# y8 e: _( \0 B2 sGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; e8 r  H: o) ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- X6 j6 G% h2 n- ?. f4 [. }4 m# eof the assumption that college will help them
8 i* _: Q$ c1 [. G, G, g2 S2 a& q, pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ l# X6 [. ~0 t5 FThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: R  \3 u8 x' Sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* ]4 T, I6 y. t5 g! gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" S" [! A  l7 pForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 E0 a; ^4 c, N5 E) \  fletting them know they are appreciated
3 h4 w4 p" M( Q/ N* L1 ^( vfor the fabulous job they do...
- B' o0 L/ b2 r0 S6 L; [; |: Sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.