 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 t0 t3 I; v& W0 v( s. C' MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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b: c- a: N' n" x6 lJOB DESCRIPTION:
# G( f$ h8 @3 l0 ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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; I# G! ~ l6 Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ {8 C4 a( X+ {' PCandidates must possess excellent communication 2 }) d' o3 ?: X0 z* c2 B6 R( b
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% p, @2 P8 N5 u8 }9 s& A: |3 Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 L+ ?6 r/ g# O4 n8 p s; oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; V. _. ^( G& t: m9 C; e0 n- ~. J, \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
8 t: {1 D7 U: [0 a7 _# ?/ X. x9 Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 n3 j2 P2 d8 C1 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 k$ c* f( q8 R# a" V9 \Travel expenses not reimbursed. 3 P0 N( @7 L9 r; j
Extensive courier duties also required. $ W8 w( W" W$ e) v0 ^+ j% b
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
% N f0 i1 e% e' l; g/ r3 t, e/ vThe rest of your life.
, ^* ?- d4 Q+ ~7 HMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 `5 G0 |8 H2 x( B1 t7 A2 huntil someone needs $5. . q$ u7 t6 c% t8 g; v
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
w4 i5 Y' f' W* IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ F6 f1 [; W' b( p- Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat : w' X, k6 ?# k1 d. a: R \
in case, this time, the screams from 0 S! k% A( `6 @8 p2 X
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ' L: u! V- m+ P D% P* m- J: z$ j
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 Z2 f: S8 q3 L) `% Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: V, {# S; v& jand stuck zippers. 9 P9 J: \6 j" g# J
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 7 ]2 u% N( B5 R% g+ r3 ?
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ x/ x7 f% y5 X8 i$ G# aMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 9 i0 I5 J7 J& Z: o1 X
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, * v- y8 }: k3 {( @3 C! r
an embarrassment the next.
2 v2 n4 Z! z$ {; E( B# UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 L- R: V, K: }6 L( x6 shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. , N) |5 Q2 G1 X9 D' `* a1 \3 H- c
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: o* C$ }" c, \- dMust assume final, complete accountability for
. Y2 ~$ O6 Z: ]# G9 X5 wthe quality of the end product. 3 Y+ Y5 @" n( ~7 F( N# c
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 9 K H% b! Z0 P9 p. J) M
janitorial work throughout the facility. ( G) \1 A# P6 H8 v
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:# I2 J, `8 N+ \3 J& x7 U; B- Z" s
None. 9 U' z4 L* \; V0 D
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 1 x% a; ^1 ?# Z' A! D
without complaining,constantly retraining and ) J+ Z8 ~+ A R3 S* _
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 @2 B! B1 a/ R6 _can ultimately surpass you.2 g4 j: }5 @& _% y) x g2 h
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 Z1 Y& u: [' \! GNone required, unfortunately.
+ p$ {6 c* v+ v! V( V" C7 ~On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 S& O9 d* d+ w) f7 Y* fWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ U- m# F3 g$ U% m. GGet this! You pay them! " ]0 l3 Q/ o# |' N4 D: `
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 4 x% P% k B) Z
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' m5 A8 z; B N/ u5 Nof the assumption that college will help them
8 _6 }9 g* P! B) G- x# vbecome financially independent.
$ P$ r7 J- d4 }1 m+ dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# w% G& r2 e1 W' yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 G8 G' w0 E' n* J+ l3 [) ?4 x* J) e5 ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 2 _$ o4 _4 v- D/ S: ~) q7 N+ {
5 ?5 \4 h( f' c8 g1 m( \BENEFITS: 1 h" m# A4 n9 J( }2 j. w, L/ T
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, + h# K: n) A4 i. T& E% }
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 X. z& ~8 {* p3 Q% Q" yno stock options are offered,# T _: l8 ?2 `* e( e
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, & @, c) `; x8 |* N9 W' V! m
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses , Y' |9 @) U1 b3 t6 \9 ^
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) v8 K. r e, h4 V" U$ Wletting them know they are appreciated 5 B6 X+ r" C2 j g5 Y0 ^! h
for the fabulous job they do... ! e2 l) Y% K* z. O9 ]7 M. k
or forward with love
, U q0 ?; G- @2 F$ J9 Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.2 u3 _$ |6 X" L4 s8 K% k1 n
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
