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( B: [+ I$ l. @9 F! o3 ?% WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma . J- p- Y, u7 s+ g3 m6 q9 v9 h& m
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:4 I+ k# o8 X: A$ w/ h/ D
Long term, team players needed for challenging,4 P. s9 X, Q/ @' G2 u7 |
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 R6 f, B) z* G: R+ Y. TCandidates must possess excellent communication
" g+ g2 L% }/ P: C0 o, ~. cand organizational skills and be willing to work : W: ^7 _/ V3 ~1 r; }
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends & X# Z: M# K* _- a1 x
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- g6 m$ ^% M1 USome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ w* N' G: [: m$ C- _primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 8 B- I0 V" m f( ~* Z o U) { d
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 W: j& p% @- k2 j( @. R% ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
V ]" v: x- o) A. W" tExtensive courier duties also required. ! X% V6 G# b" s" b1 M6 h5 H6 Z1 D
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ s& G9 C D! x- W1 M$ R2 bThe rest of your life. # L: N0 x9 e7 y3 |4 o' L+ `% D& Q
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 J' E% [; M& L/ Z# B# Xuntil someone needs $5.
! K! ]" y. R1 O, }' q/ _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 8 s. O' B1 C5 o8 o9 C+ e: Z
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 6 k2 }6 x# y i* O9 J
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat / p; `0 @+ K% W! I0 \5 h1 L% q" |+ G
in case, this time, the screams from
% H. s; j) x2 ~the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. - ]& m2 H+ ]6 G; P( i2 A
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, " s! o5 s1 L. @6 Y6 Z l3 G. C4 @
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" \ p& G! z% t4 G3 u' ]# uand stuck zippers. . j/ v; D$ S% W
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 D* A5 l& d D3 n' x2 t0 Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, z' j; }% t& K- _) ?Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; l/ v. H" u# ]' WMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 6 W9 \0 h3 w6 {2 J7 l. X+ M
an embarrassment the next. 1 e3 G) e/ q" u1 ~6 J4 v
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ @& G# l. L, e% o6 Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. R2 A8 j6 h9 v. mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ) q2 m N$ z2 `: p- d
Must assume final, complete accountability for : v% M/ X, K! B. o9 G: J
the quality of the end product. t% J$ a) v& o8 y
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 0 _5 b% a; B# Q: r2 ^
janitorial work throughout the facility. - G) z3 c1 ]+ O( H7 F
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:8 K) ^8 y. _9 Y( J, p2 B: h9 M6 y) i
None.
) G( x9 P8 {' _4 E# ]* XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
, \, d6 P$ ]1 A5 s4 kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 Y0 ~1 |3 s% K6 i0 T4 |updating your skills, so that those in your charge 0 e5 ^: m# p* _! l7 v0 X$ W
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 h$ ^( r0 ~8 z: p( E3 x! B cNone required, unfortunately.
' v6 @7 A" x$ v; Q4 _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 v9 {9 r: p/ H5 l) _7 jWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# F5 j+ l3 G" O7 o! N6 l4 ]9 f) uGet this! You pay them! * u* S6 i p, n: z# j
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 8 B+ f4 i* a' a5 i+ t5 s
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because & V ^7 B, n3 ^; j% ?' B# x) [6 x
of the assumption that college will help them
9 y' M) ^6 D/ F5 p" I# d: Mbecome financially independent.
! @0 ^( R: ~4 I% O1 U$ DWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. & o$ J) n' \2 b/ i9 w3 E1 U
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ' @3 _ D$ P* M# o
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ' F( Q3 f0 g; d2 R0 l
* ?( M4 K& d) _: Z& j1 |- X5 gBENEFITS: ; _; L S2 k( e/ ?3 m' ~6 |' X
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 R2 C$ S3 h8 X# r& F1 _, ]5 fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and , ~: q9 W. I: R- R6 B5 |' L) H( l/ s% P
no stock options are offered,# G( b. n/ n7 m1 R
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ; R7 P n; V0 k
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.7 C6 X: @6 J, w2 T* @4 R! u$ S
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# r Z4 O7 i1 J. R$ w* m. ~/ G** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **. J; M/ O$ N1 k$ l/ y: y2 c
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- @' k2 Y; l1 [9 }' r8 JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 q- j+ S2 r/ T/ S3 sletting them know they are appreciated 5 E& s: K |/ H! ]
for the fabulous job they do...
$ p! R3 {4 b# Y+ Uor forward with love
& W: ^2 w. C8 q' N" p Nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.3 s* K7 u) e7 e/ `8 W7 f
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
