Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: \! ^/ d7 l# bMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" k9 a/ @2 @, M, d. |Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


3 |% x* I! Z" n& R  aJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' q; n* I4 b5 U. s+ l( q3 f/ Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ g4 K, ^- ~- B4 ^2 \% b7 Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' Z& X4 r# W# oExtensive courier duties also required.

5 v" k4 a& a2 JRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 Q4 N: H$ S. V; ^until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: a  S' n% M8 qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# j/ w9 f* {% a) P" @7 G+ A9 iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 m- d( _, X9 a0 C5 ~2 k# V" Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& R$ W2 F' O. ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 K3 I/ w4 M0 r6 \  G7 P1 r: Z. K' PMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- ~% I; q4 p$ t! Q7 m$ m: m, {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 p5 u3 G* M7 A0 f  r$ w2 b* qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
$ A4 b$ ~* ]9 k6 ~! q1 X) dResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 G) M$ |. L0 z# j& n0 L2 _  R- pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 |8 O9 w# l$ J' HNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( Z; |0 q5 Y! _; {* g4 X, n( t5 ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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; l$ ?7 |# i3 q0 `0 G
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. Q; }8 u. T8 v1 q  tNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 E0 d9 [% G" g4 g, w  L! D- pGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, c3 C2 _% c0 `! j/ t( WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 n. k$ J5 M" j* l7 @! D" Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: i7 L' z2 ~. r9 ^6 }/ s$ D5 iBENEFITS:
4 n) T" K. `! F% z6 z! eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ B% e8 _! f. ^) G" @no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 {% @( a3 d" u6 ?no stock options are offered,
( {3 }7 f, x4 l& Z% ]- ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 z/ F- s2 f/ Z+ a& }: K
  v2 Y5 _/ V9 s4 j8 K6 s$ Iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 e1 N- U! B- {7 j, e& R
; R0 w$ M" m* C2 z2 ^1 }for life if you play your cards right.

; ~0 X2 N* v6 J


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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# ?# t% u0 t* f: rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 F3 {9 X8 F/ o* R! ~/ }5 vletting them know they are appreciated
3 Q9 _, d" N- Y7 P! F; k1 ]for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.