Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. k0 E1 D) t9 {! @* z, }" kMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ Q4 s' Z# i' k2 [
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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) i' W0 ?3 f1 @# bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; O# k+ C$ J1 m2 O4 [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 {# M$ s. b$ O" Mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) y2 _) B' U* ^" {+ V5 u* E" e1 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
! T$ l$ n* R: L) I% i# P( t" Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. w; P& F2 Q: d6 f+ z2 ^" cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& N1 m* L' P5 \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. N" S( p! m% g9 ^( b- m6 |Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% q' N6 ^  F! |6 B# Ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ Q& G- w" m: g7 \2 q. n$ v; D8 m0 MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' O" Q. ~) J/ l( \  z6 Pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) f# x& ~  k7 P  i% C* K: V. m( w5 ain case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. k1 d$ p9 `  S. i: v* y8 ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 `& }" F# B' s; h5 y' HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- {* K: n/ p5 fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' q: X( e, _7 {+ h0 b/ u" gMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
* g0 m5 z. L! EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 A. I5 {! a4 {+ R8 oNone.
2 M( a, o! x9 O, XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& Z" n8 ^1 ]: L. Zcan ultimately surpass you.

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+ h: C1 p' s5 ^6 uPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ y0 ~' m8 a# X. }9 Xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 f8 ~* Q6 z' f9 d( Aof the assumption that college will help them
5 t5 ~) s4 P4 s  \become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  k9 ?' G# ?* Q: L& i) T/ FThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, `( A+ `. a: qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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* {' j8 |; }7 MBENEFITS:
. d! E8 l6 ^% `8 @* c& vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; n! I! A/ f3 r# ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ y4 Z( I5 y5 u4 P4 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- Q* h: A8 b- D- @) V0 w* p% u8 ufor life if you play your cards right.

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+ B/ I) r( }/ c1 C0 {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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0 u( K% q% |, \* J" Y: ?Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
' y4 c7 z1 J, S! J. Wfor the fabulous job they do...
% b, |* A3 L/ N  L2 W% I, xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.