Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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0 P, z% d* L6 i) OJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

% ^, h$ b& K( T: I+ x7 S$ spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# }- h  @, [& O3 T' MCandidates must possess excellent communication
0 a9 t8 n* B8 Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% J0 ~4 Q; H5 x6 ~Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 ^' X7 T* S9 T" Q- xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 J. C$ w" ?( l# C. H! E$ @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' M2 I$ k$ ]# BAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 t! F2 `  c+ G7 L5 O" B& ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% q" T0 z" |# T1 [6 K% _. g) Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
- d  l, [, E, _1 fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! y$ B9 V9 ?- U2 MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 U  ~+ Z2 ?' h5 u5 F1 ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 E- D2 g* X4 L, P* S  L3 B+ Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! u( ]# N: Q; U+ H/ Z5 |) \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
" y* {3 h  ^& @1 z  E/ ^: X. ithe quality of the end product.
8 F2 ]. U' S1 yResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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0 f2 W+ `! B, K/ W  B0 i' R! M  FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* K4 g. Y2 ?; L3 v" t( lYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 H8 u5 R8 T6 rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  I/ H9 y9 ?) nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 J5 M9 N1 q- F. P) g- B8 cNone required, unfortunately.
% m+ \& m6 y' @' A% ROn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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& w9 v4 V( V, N% q) BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 O6 U  |5 i) `' Y5 cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
& m) M1 _. b$ Z: k2 `$ A) n) e4 }a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 P. y: Z- G+ Q% m5 [of the assumption that college will help them
8 b$ o0 F. G) Z5 z1 ?0 F5 Xbecome financially independent.
7 A) ~4 `5 _) `! h5 [8 f: kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) D; R: m3 |8 d( F: U0 zBENEFITS:
% y9 C: v: s& j' ~While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 w) U6 L+ ^$ G- I  t9 b8 l4 H$ Ono stock options are offered,
# q' I0 K2 d4 j) J& A1 _( s8 I" V! X* ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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: H$ X: ^2 I: u7 Q7 d% m3 Q: r9 ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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$ B( K1 i& [6 a0 s8 K6 Y/ ?for life if you play your cards right.

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1 L9 H9 d0 ~; R5 \6 u5 p' Y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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4 ?9 v5 q& I3 a0 zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 H. \2 U( Y* O. V" r6 @/ y1 Tletting them know they are appreciated
# g% m1 K1 w9 y" \% W# c' j4 n$ J/ pfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 _3 j4 m1 \, v/ |0 Hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.