Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( w$ ?/ u0 i# EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  M2 g' `, N, |1 KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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; f4 u. a9 Y- e8 P4 ~JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* w7 `9 H, j! H& zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 @4 l/ u) w2 ]* u0 X) kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
$ B8 O. _$ x8 q( E: B# tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 R: b8 T) Z  |; u6 yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
) A$ P: D/ _( u  G7 i* Q6 E* lExtensive courier duties also required.
8 d9 b% `8 s& _8 t2 B8 b
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ L+ n8 \( f# U; X3 _, YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* ~- Q, t4 s2 l; F; K/ rAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; W$ Q- H) l5 S- z! Bin case, this time, the screams from
2 i6 W: O2 @$ A* _( I" m: gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) F. U$ f" S) }5 E; @Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  N/ k6 T8 i7 Q, g! Q. k) rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. ?& l/ D& m' H+ _3 Uand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. G3 O8 y- A1 X# f* Pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 `; H1 q# F% |7 P: _Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, I' m& ~1 j. O2 ~, @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 a+ D3 P) K8 m7 x+ P1 ecan ultimately surpass you.


$ W0 X( q% h) m3 oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* H0 j  n1 u, h& _! ?/ v% h1 dNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 ]/ f( M- M) N* A- M6 t- X! o1 {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- l, F* P% Z4 v- P* M4 jGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
9 P/ @0 L2 l0 W" S  nof the assumption that college will help them
! g+ X. k3 g0 j: [become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
: l7 }. K/ |8 i" S, ^3 C: \; mThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ b1 O6 b4 f* [- g: Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ }* Q* U$ d6 |8 t4 jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 S. `. d7 {0 X$ ^
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

6 D" _, A( }- D; ?- ^- D6 O: H  vfor life if you play your cards right.




: R4 v. ~' D+ k! y6 t: b! y+ k; F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
: J+ j$ _+ u/ N7 Q# b# X. v" @for the fabulous job they do...
  o6 H+ e7 d. r1 Mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
  V$ v6 r0 D, b/ }
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.