Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( ^! E4 k& J' W, B3 sDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

: E. B6 ^4 T$ ^5 E# k2 K$ @0 b" f0 m
JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 n2 J% ?0 F  ~+ B" t, [5 JLong term, team players needed for challenging,
9 N8 ~. n9 b9 o: y
$ L$ s. U, u" J' h6 j( {6 cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 m+ B7 \  u3 F. {Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
) x0 y6 W6 m3 @1 I, ~variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  q4 F* @) }: S0 T; @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 \4 p1 q1 Y5 Q+ j0 @8 v1 R- }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ H, g  O. w7 ^. G( h: g  Uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ t8 m, X) p; D5 y) BThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& \: s, I, Z$ p: U6 [2 d$ a6 {! N" asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 ~" `( s: M3 C; N1 t! hand stuck zippers.
: y# h$ |! J+ v$ e' [8 ]9 [, EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) s6 _1 H7 ~5 P# |# Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" `; p& X# u. _) XMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 W. ]/ G0 @+ _  i7 VMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) o- S* ^  ~/ ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  p7 ?: Y% [/ k: q; ]: D/ Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; d5 z& J; |1 M# s8 t& iMust assume final, complete accountability for
- e6 d3 C% A& q3 X; Bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" a+ `3 I: B; {8 b2 u- T. Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

& h! |& z9 R; [% `  {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' G' \( Y* _& A% d7 P2 |4 @# B" OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
  u; n6 Z' x9 F: R' v% ?8 zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


7 A* r! p6 O& a) R& l- H9 @$ aPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# q- i/ e8 R1 ?6 ~None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

9 O  L' G7 G2 ?- g! s# b, VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
: B7 b. s; E- U$ ?$ eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 l: m5 Y2 y0 H& ]9 H2 I+ Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ n, x' V5 X0 w7 uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 G8 G& G1 n  k9 a) E: yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" {: m/ z* J% ?* u) |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ P  K# g, _$ i% w9 m9 wBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) t& E% |6 F# g6 a- p. L1 wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 I/ @+ i0 ~. f  Y+ L) B. xno stock options are offered,
; E/ y& p0 ?& H4 c9 V  a( Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 b! S( A. b' T# R* }( Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; W! H1 e# ]0 p; F+ n) @) k9 w, t  m- f
for life if you play your cards right.

% Q' Y- R! O" h! |; h
2 _1 I. j! E. [2 {8 q8 c9 O

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


/ a) J+ B4 {- P( v: X& ~: d
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 G8 u6 [! }/ J' |for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! W" M+ {; M1 M. t3 Z; c6 `( _+ `# ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.