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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:8 P% m$ Y" I  P1 ^2 T6 S
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 ]8 ~7 p1 ]4 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# j8 L$ V& `& G; x% l( ZJOB DESCRIPTION:( S: l5 m% C5 N& V
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. Z+ V  I# L" V  J! X, D5 mpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 4 |5 _) j6 i* V) [2 [1 Y9 A
Candidates must possess excellent communication ' |  O% l9 [- \) B1 \
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 q4 t9 D: h5 J2 [% _+ R0 f2 y5 mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 p, {1 S; O- k3 ~9 |1 `$ Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ `  O# W$ y' @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# C. k( C4 N( y+ s  l: Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( I: X7 O6 c1 I1 {. nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: B* \) u3 N; p; g$ a/ wTravel expenses not reimbursed. ! ?) G% F4 i4 Y# q  O# A- B
Extensive courier duties also required. 9 Z$ D7 s0 p  V% q0 C5 g

" h+ w' D+ ~# _% M7 pRESPONSIBILITIES:
4 O# L+ s: e, U0 hThe rest of your life. 7 a% M2 B. M3 J( @2 }
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ d: H* Y7 |4 V8 S- H. @until someone needs $5.
5 v% P$ C3 h2 BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 a/ n! }& [+ T7 K$ @+ J+ |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. T8 D" R! h( w4 o# \# dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 2 r) p" g/ T% O* [" @# Q
in case, this time, the screams from * k6 i" J9 @: l4 r: {4 }
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 @- s5 r7 H, ~% ]" ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; I& t2 e/ R4 Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 }0 l* F; i! b2 o
and stuck zippers.
! d1 u! L9 [! YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  t* g  S2 C1 Q/ M6 C" g9 Q# ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects. & o: T8 m! L. |3 B
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 V1 j/ m1 S+ FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 7 N3 ~% w' `6 D# ]% r9 ?3 a3 v
an embarrassment the next.
% T; x: ~4 p! l1 f% y" I: ?Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 T# |1 g* q: P2 ^# Y- Thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' [/ [& s4 }2 Z2 n' g6 m/ qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. . I1 i1 }' G3 S. m
Must assume final, complete accountability for
& e* [- c& B$ R" |9 N; ^) @the quality of the end product.
. O* \; K7 \. E1 O) S; J0 N6 `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and * c5 o, H  K0 {  R2 {0 k
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:  \& s. m; L9 p. g1 n. m* {
None.
2 A4 J4 A* _5 b* H2 j" }) @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* b5 L: Y) Y2 ^, y% F5 n' G) @without complaining,constantly retraining and - s/ z3 }. m( X1 E  d7 B% D
updating your skills, so that those in your charge " r" m2 t# ?5 R6 b
can ultimately surpass you.  e8 a% U' x# k7 A- W( G* t
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1 D" t. v7 {+ x$ p$ M! e! F, N0 QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: + X5 u. P$ ?1 z; v
None required, unfortunately.
5 H4 R+ _; }3 M) _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 L! g9 ~: f2 M* S$ n! sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  j5 s+ u: N2 y% B9 @Get this! You pay them!
% M8 I9 r( g" X! ?( l0 L2 UOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 4 b! x4 z6 a5 z% W3 M
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ Q2 A4 N; ]# k' C8 k& o0 w, @) ^' wof the assumption that college will help them 0 D# U9 Z* d6 R$ w+ T
become financially independent.
5 D" E$ D/ I# t, ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; |9 U2 T4 m6 j7 h- c9 WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' D1 T. h5 c  s  d0 L( uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
4 q8 S( F5 \/ R3 KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ w3 Y) i4 i+ Z+ z2 lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and & Q/ P  H8 N2 p! B6 G3 v! R
no stock options are offered,* L7 C0 t* u5 C& o
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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9 U/ Y( `+ s8 d/ hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 5 W3 [* w1 O6 y, r( g# Y6 r% \" q
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for life if you play your cards right.
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5 l2 j/ _' K  p* o1 H: f1 i5 F 6 w8 O8 f" o" f; A: Y1 d
3 I$ o# B/ {0 e: P
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **9 z" T; a& r9 K7 B

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 J$ T' E  k9 M, Oletting them know they are appreciated
3 K5 P1 z7 L& E; Z* |' q0 w! rfor the fabulous job they do...
" s; I. F8 \* o9 J$ oor forward with love / z4 g! e4 d  @) _6 w) ?
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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