Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& Z' s& E/ X8 FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( m5 n4 v  t* m) UDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 |! G2 i. A- TLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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( j, J! _& y9 p, opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* E6 t; u# h$ I% J; G/ r) wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
$ ?) C: }2 C: v4 E! l0 x) aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& @6 j# |5 U: L: X) ^  D% ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

3 p* \( H5 m' W+ g7 b" DRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- }" G- l$ Z. [; guntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* K5 p7 T( G6 k& a: yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 r6 X- _8 d/ {& r1 Tin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ N2 \7 s" b) f1 b, |& ^) v. a+ Tand stuck zippers.
- l9 g2 Q2 H9 g) n$ u- \0 C! n* x. ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: X' J$ w2 R# w1 Jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" R/ K' Y; M& a/ y$ fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' d# u6 V5 w7 M; y. H( qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ v( q; z- l/ Yan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ E1 s* M( g0 ?' E! G" v& khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( Y) a0 }$ e' H8 a7 ]  K9 J- j* Y$ mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

; E2 O4 x. w$ {1 oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 d& g; F; L( T# H9 S, vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& r9 ~2 o' b* w9 c1 h$ O( }On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) d; X1 u; k0 n9 zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! [' O  b. V. y7 ~5 q( ?of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: x. K7 k2 k/ v5 v4 Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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4 L9 p9 B( S4 v/ Z: U9 L* L5 \BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) ~: Y' ~" B0 u# W! t$ @; ]( Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

( U$ G5 t; |- U! A( t( H. \% w# x2 Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

5 v: k( f  k, Q- [5 f, z1 Q% lfor life if you play your cards right.
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1 @/ Y8 q' Y0 |$ G0 m! v
0 }/ w5 e5 {6 L2 F( [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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! r# ^( }2 g1 h. S$ ^: r7 ~
8 i" g' T+ T6 V+ gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 o1 y3 D. h* o/ F% i" J# tor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.