Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; p6 ~, q8 u6 i* |9 g9 |- E) ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ j7 `2 @4 M. z1 }7 uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' _3 a: i- t  h) H6 s/ _' D" N# YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
. s4 w, S6 R7 H1 N/ M$ Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  O' U- _" [+ F$ Q, U/ fExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# @# @8 ~' [# ^0 m  A  W" h, Juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 O5 h) Q4 F2 h$ Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 M1 }3 d/ x/ l6 }) X4 \6 Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# l' d/ e) D. `. L7 Rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 p3 l, ?( y$ WMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 |& k4 t0 w" lan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- e4 K, n7 d/ Z# ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" y, D( G6 V* q3 g; a( }Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* t$ r5 }) R0 q: H% m- N% Vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( Q- \) t- f9 p/ Zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" G" B2 l8 K  l9 ^# OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) Y) `5 K6 Q/ h* P5 tNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* }" A) v8 a/ e, u' c$ F3 Lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
# ^0 G& U9 t6 `' Acan ultimately surpass you.

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& j% s9 |* w6 TPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; g  b% c; U1 pNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 a3 N6 @: `$ x7 ~# T4 i9 P0 ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
/ G5 c: z  l! E3 X+ Tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. C( \/ }) K2 n1 G! F6 dBENEFITS:
. G. o( E- l9 P- l$ VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& ^% _$ j- X5 U2 Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( v: f  y/ {6 G1 m- d/ fno stock options are offered,
8 ^& E5 T1 F% y1 }: s  d& p% G$ @this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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- C, Z6 o2 i# M! M0 w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( a; K+ n5 ^: Qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.