Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# b$ Z- }) Z/ mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# G" [+ @8 z" ^2 x5 P# J2 IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
( y$ D. ^' L  u0 M( Z& e7 z: SLong term, team players needed for challenging,

+ A7 r( ^$ G+ \; h; [permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& b( h5 t% Q4 o0 X7 x! KCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& {) Y6 H' d* c; @; lSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, U9 m1 `% @( J, Y- }The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 r, X+ y1 R" M: a! J* B3 ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 _. \- i& G, t, hin case, this time, the screams from
$ k/ p: Q- H3 u9 l# Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 \  U. F$ I. I) z' oMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 m8 s" R- e5 _- p2 N! E; H0 G# AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 @4 }( s) A& `- e, {& [6 `an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% u. p  @2 ~% O: H: a& Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- z3 L9 P; t+ p/ [- WMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 C: x5 G5 q) j$ H$ v( ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 b. m' X3 j/ |! a5 Ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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: j; _- `7 X$ a0 L. k( u5 [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) I& A# O$ y8 C" d8 CNone.
! v: Q( s  ?) p3 P( t3 Q! _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 H! m- O7 J5 I. \% c$ ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) g, B, g. _3 Jcan ultimately surpass you.

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& n8 r' E: c* f; iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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2 i8 t6 ]/ e+ X/ |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# O* w) T& {0 a+ Y7 }Get this! You pay them!
& A7 W! X( m  M9 {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 {8 z  X# s' v% n$ `  L' Y6 T2 {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  E8 ?& P$ U2 ^' r/ wof the assumption that college will help them
- d8 X, V* x3 s7 ?, ^# w* s5 Z) `4 f% Vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) z; Y& i& x( D4 Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' d1 {! j% m# F9 d- m+ lWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 d6 Y. w5 k- a3 bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
1 y$ {% a4 k$ \4 A1 k
3 y; q/ P+ F2 |7 M% b. Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 i5 l8 Q$ p& J; C
8 n$ Q3 S7 c" P" P4 l9 \9 dfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



1 X0 Y0 m' `. Q3 u; r# L8 R' OForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 h; m* B' B& l% Nletting them know they are appreciated
8 q& t& i6 N) q5 v6 Q! X; ifor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 n$ q8 e. C' x1 W& K/ V3 l, s! ~to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.