Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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2 J$ x# r) |/ V1 u% z/ FJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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4 U9 Q* p1 A* v* C) y+ G. Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' W: x) F5 b9 OCandidates must possess excellent communication
# }; }2 V; [' X/ p& w7 y# h( \- I# _and organizational skills and be willing to work
" Z8 d/ N" o5 v: _- y8 Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 z/ o* Z2 P* kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' d2 l/ G8 ~& |/ f+ L4 a- L( nSome overnight travel required, including trips to
: E' g* o0 J+ ]* V/ t4 \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 y5 Z. J  c4 I4 U5 X7 ]% Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
) \) ?# t) c. K8 YExtensive courier duties also required.

1 J8 C7 D/ y  R, e; xRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ X; m6 `' Y* AThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
4 @! A- T* c1 }0 XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 U7 }/ o- B) O5 ~and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 n& j1 y0 F7 \9 l& Z9 {in case, this time, the screams from
+ \( m4 b% w. g# A7 Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# A! A5 }+ X$ x2 s1 G8 K' D4 dMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ B) u3 Q( }( Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) e  O1 F7 l' I0 B, L5 Iand stuck zippers.
* e2 d1 v+ k9 p+ J8 jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' d- h1 v; S: o% m6 X2 QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  W" l3 t( K# K1 F3 |8 L+ k# iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 F- c" f% z! K, e( R" f5 Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! Q1 J& D& z4 J! g& |Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
) }2 q  @# i1 BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  ~) V: z9 U; b5 ~  X4 Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( {( o' f( o3 b* t7 k( c* ]can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. m. U5 f3 }" b8 X% {, d* iOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
6 D$ G  W- |5 W5 [! Y( ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- b  v2 r7 i6 u/ e/ Sof the assumption that college will help them
- {: R* d1 u  J* L9 qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 t3 i6 b. u2 A% [: {; DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) I% I/ v& x" S, cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
% ?9 k# O) y7 y" ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- q! _& F5 G$ `. _no stock options are offered,
6 `, m6 T/ N" D# p/ @, e! a! ~' |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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$ }  V' o" j  s9 W5 D/ u) S2 O** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
9 }6 i* m  @0 U! p# ~for the fabulous job they do...
( C* f. _& G( D& R, _or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.