Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( q& ~  f& s' Q9 ~9 @" H+ @Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ R- N1 s! {0 n) D' x  o% EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

9 c& H7 d  x6 wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, B: m4 |- K3 ~, [6 A) Z$ hand organizational skills and be willing to work
$ E# w+ ~. |- k( ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- v9 r+ p2 ~& r1 g/ y6 L8 \3 j, m# fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! J, I! l2 ~0 j3 C) A4 C9 {( Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' p/ i4 \. m) i$ _+ zTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
; e% ?0 ?# U, m7 ]" XThe rest of your life.
/ W( K, Q1 x: S, m% K7 k  b' HMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
( e7 a! n# p4 q' dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 u: ?) H: b0 A3 Q- i- j$ BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; I/ n  L9 C5 m1 o# T5 Uand stuck zippers.
7 `. N- i! L( OMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 j1 @) u" i! w/ @- q9 Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( U2 A. E+ y- j/ }9 U+ SMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( F, n5 }5 Q: ^: Q6 Tan embarrassment the next.
8 m3 @* [) u9 H  o$ CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 N5 K) _# q. @/ {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% [3 T  B" h. F0 c& `) o9 B0 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. a# Z4 Q! o" C6 Tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 s  i' _; I+ I1 d* G# p' BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 `% L; F& ?  r  o( ?9 V( B" P$ x* _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 s( y0 q* n0 g+ ]+ @& [, t) _9 wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) ?* M$ k& R1 d+ `# x% Ocan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 Z+ H2 _7 k. b# n: ^* vNone required, unfortunately.
; D. v7 M4 O8 P1 ^9 g/ M, POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ _6 `! K5 B) l& Y+ l$ I* `& {* `WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( l( c) g" s9 j9 wGet this! You pay them!
& X0 Y/ ^7 l) O( [Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ V  m) o5 K5 P$ a' b; TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* X" e. o; u0 O( E! n# Lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ J, M; J. J" X- K1 Xno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

% d7 j1 {- ?- z- k3 p0 Ufor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ b! S7 e" g$ @% J# g7 ~letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.