Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 i" v% ~6 h# t+ U# Y' FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ x. d) V+ G* W  P6 _4 Y4 V3 D6 e1 M
! ^4 u: ^) r5 T2 e( a2 xJOB DESCRIPTION:
: Y" i  C7 B: J" KLong term, team players needed for challenging,
  M4 a; I  h7 t2 |! k# i
3 f2 r6 R! A" ?! J- Q; T: H* kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& P; L5 G! {+ v# E; _5 u8 A2 XCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  f' ~. d+ b7 N# {3 E' avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& j" L" n6 q' z4 Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# H& u. @+ c  D! mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, z; |. M! U6 V$ f5 WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
9 J% f0 \0 B( ~( y( T; y: Q# C
RESPONSIBILITIES:
) b) B2 G! t( j" \5 WThe rest of your life.
2 L' _- i1 D/ tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# [. l* C% G+ ?2 X" X* y% m5 `: SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ r; \. l- ~- g) j7 m* iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, n5 |% `/ M+ u# N& j6 x0 P/ ?2 Cin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: n* P/ D# w+ S: P  `5 v  a3 Kand stuck zippers.
% w4 J) H6 `. UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! o$ t3 ]* C+ \1 AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; p- [, K7 M: G" e& [4 i% MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 c) Y: J6 i, F/ |7 Ran embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& k) C: D0 o8 P/ C+ Z! ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 z2 u5 Y9 A9 n' fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 }. |3 f# }7 P2 p4 ~& P. wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

1 e7 y; l' l" D4 ^& L% M6 N& R8 VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 F* H/ H4 S9 e% k- K" j6 u+ zNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 |1 \& l  x; }) jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. @. t( e6 w4 h( b* {5 z2 Ycan ultimately surpass you.
9 R/ [5 x' S' L2 e0 C

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& h, o- y# E9 J3 h( \: o9 WOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
" ?( Z. A. A! d9 ^1 ~- zbecome financially independent.
! ^9 Z9 l1 N. }7 P3 @When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 I9 W" E0 g" n" \6 c  z' R. ~7 M* NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 T1 l4 Y# s  X; c2 Z& hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
, ^2 {# j3 ]& g; U  |
& \8 q1 S/ ~( ]2 GBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& @& D% b, O$ R7 @+ `7 Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
$ w3 z% z1 m% @

. L$ A  h, M. q

  v& _" l# A9 e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
$ h3 c3 H: Z1 l6 a$ v% |/ D
( K; v. J# g- a% M0 S
: N+ v. |9 Z& [5 v$ A
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 x1 M4 R% Z5 y+ R8 i' Xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 `& \: f) @* Y6 Y* oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

- E* U1 h' o1 H, ^8 g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.