Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ ~' d) g$ Q; d. jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
, I" i9 i- o- w1 ^
- ^$ k1 c/ ?1 c. `5 h( C. M  }permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' Q3 u& i1 O- F' Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: R/ N2 N- B1 ?Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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! n% s$ m/ N8 f- c6 j5 XRESPONSIBILITIES:
3 ^) N9 F) O# Y9 a' K+ QThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 }0 o4 U) J% `, z% funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: b# @6 J1 M6 x1 dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* T! K0 e. |1 r. _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" A; W4 ]) G( D" o5 V; qMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 y4 P: r: g: NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 p* Y% u  a7 l7 U* tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 g5 I9 u& C! I& q! g5 DMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 H, y& |, m  ~1 l# M+ [- g9 z; O- mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 O: f* C4 H$ I! S% a: {janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 d" P1 a. i, ^( ], U5 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 \& L$ g7 r  W$ n4 q$ G/ gYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
. j2 {+ u3 d, Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ a) F' U) A6 w" b% m5 s& ]- Rcan ultimately surpass you.

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/ J: O* p4 z6 ^! j1 k/ n$ ePREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! A! V) C" X9 V! MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& ?5 N6 p' Z+ Q# D1 F( ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 T! C% ]' H# }
BENEFITS:
7 ]4 W) r% o2 fWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; r. o4 v3 E7 P* Cno stock options are offered,
# V/ ]5 ~1 `8 q  U# X6 ]6 {1 sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 {# e' z; }: F) h6 }4 q5 I+ w0 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 R! U7 i3 {  @+ Hfor life if you play your cards right.
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  {/ ~$ ]" T9 [7 }! t3 o4 F
9 o! F1 a& i; A% B8 S
2 X9 ?. l, n1 S, ]** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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9 H0 [/ F, n, l' aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# ]& }, H. N% g% l" V- Y6 C" rletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

6 m0 |$ o4 O3 G  V

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.