Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, |8 H7 J( B6 v4 i$ hand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% u" Q9 u! G6 \3 j( kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* `* L& N6 ?7 r/ C7 mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) r6 J/ C+ L, V8 }8 jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  C6 |" u% G3 ~- Y( t: r4 }endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

1 ?7 @0 q5 O2 T1 U, hRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 U: C8 m6 N7 T" y' yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 j; j8 r3 ~* T/ |) ^4 M6 F4 \Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, @) h2 l; K1 M( gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& v6 `# d/ k* A* s5 hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 T% k8 c  @& |5 M; I3 Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; M7 Z. D9 N* p: A8 m! R9 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ e* c2 g& _0 TMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) V' _! K/ w3 [) bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
* X& ?4 Z2 R, uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

( n% F0 F1 @" o6 s, U3 Q; ~) {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 B8 s) X# A1 J8 ANone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 [# T; T: Q' c8 F% v+ L. u' pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* W5 F0 w8 v3 {! Y- \updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  s% w- t+ X/ c1 ?5 xcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
( s" }# O! a5 y+ U1 A# @8 ~) dOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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. D+ N( N' T! G8 X' G' BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 i9 L# \. C0 y. j" M- ]% oGet this! You pay them!
# ~+ P  J) X' `( Z1 N8 ZOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
4 X1 |% l. i% K. ^8 j) ]) G- {( kbecome financially independent.
$ J2 `1 c# W, u: ?. pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ Q; t, q$ [; L2 C# Z# [The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

. u7 \) r/ |/ Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. J! }6 K- U1 bfor life if you play your cards right.
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. Z8 ]8 j2 f1 U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  O, H8 @, q( }% ^- _3 Mfor the fabulous job they do...
* r9 R7 }3 S7 l  ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.