Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 P& O' |! I% p1 x) Z- X$ DMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) O; r8 b1 c7 E! QDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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2 p. Q5 a8 z& Y: X( \5 W" @JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# u3 g! r4 [2 e3 J0 l# \Candidates must possess excellent communication
; C* M" Q; ~- C7 sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% {/ |/ T$ S8 q- p: |! PSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
0 v. M& u9 l/ Q* C. j) ?0 k6 O8 zMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 y9 M( N- k9 X0 iin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ \+ J4 i# `- S4 W. l$ L" u" b9 hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( ]( l2 L/ }8 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! Z9 R+ |2 X; z+ s- v, gand stuck zippers.
$ ~) ]4 a# A7 ~& H. h& J& {* F( MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" T. y+ J/ I9 G: L. n/ [coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 H# d. V- l2 K1 R4 [- K& ?: zMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
3 w4 i6 {0 r3 c/ c5 a8 t, QMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 c- X: G* R9 q) s4 H' ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 k7 }" k! g1 X$ I& LMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 F$ |' k) W9 p! Tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& q9 j7 l1 G* iNone.
1 P) y. \) `7 y0 ]! bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& {, p' f1 X, o5 Y+ d! a) o/ xNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

0 W1 e4 ~# i, w1 MWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 V. v. q4 ]( D1 H! HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, ]9 W- [/ y$ A8 N( I/ A) @become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; l) K: R7 V9 ?; e6 AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 A% ^, P, g8 q1 Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  r, R- x4 U5 }- X" HBENEFITS:
& V) K1 N) Q' {- ?+ i' _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ h% S% l: ~6 u4 M1 W' ~- j' ^no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: s! j% `7 Y. qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, P) z5 F3 B. H6 T- i, _# Yfor life if you play your cards right.


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) C( s1 e4 z; o1 Q- {) a7 B* R$ R
. x) e' g* c' P** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' x% ]* ]5 i7 |4 Z: a- y* w! f6 U) _Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 K7 U! O0 @9 a2 j' z3 @% |or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

3 G+ O$ X; e! D+ p

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.