Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 k! j+ ^8 f( g9 |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" c7 _& I( @- f3 q  C" tDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
( z2 k8 V" s& |1 cLong term, team players needed for challenging,

3 W9 L1 F& S8 [0 kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 _' N0 E$ Q% P) [  s: ]% q' \4 JCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& l- l7 V$ Y; q/ i" U, a' ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) c; _! @3 }- I' ?; MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 u$ G% O# G. m1 O+ F2 p2 h2 TTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

  u  A* k$ g) }5 t, f, [) D' T# SRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ T) n! p% ]6 e* \9 {The rest of your life.
' R. d/ z# Q2 _. B$ M' V* O1 @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 s; P  d6 ]0 k, quntil someone needs $5.
8 ~+ E, o, t: M, RMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; p5 c+ x. ]+ g  h% ~) Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 z* a0 N% ]* r7 z! T0 @) g; [% min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 w7 h& W: a6 Z* t  Y8 {9 C" g! x. {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 v7 \/ \8 ^- G$ G8 V, bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! `9 m/ t) R" T7 DMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# E; N; q" B+ ^& O# x; x1 m+ w% r$ Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- g  j& l) N$ r3 x; sNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 _- P" |' p) s% r- f3 |3 l7 Scan ultimately surpass you.
8 e) C6 g0 M6 @* B* T

0 W% s% ]2 x" A6 [4 JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
) Q7 {3 H( j3 m! d  BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
1 b! ?5 r# y) _. A; O' A8 G
* F* ?% P8 C1 H+ H5 ?  Q- JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; s4 X/ m9 L  E) _Get this! You pay them!
$ p% I2 L0 q: S! OOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; P% j$ E* K2 c/ q5 h3 ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( K' l( ?3 r* _, mof the assumption that college will help them
4 _$ h: T& t- `' s5 Rbecome financially independent.
- E# V* c* c. I* k; v7 V/ i; IWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
, R! V2 g* j! B. d0 g  e, y
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) `% ?5 K( E; m3 t9 f& Pno stock options are offered,
# F. L& t( k. c2 rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# X, V$ i, }- `# xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



7 Y' m1 i6 m% L& d2 t
1 u+ d2 n; l7 N9 {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

% ~, P# t7 V% J9 B

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# i) \7 Q4 Y  m, F5 Gletting them know they are appreciated
: |; ^5 N8 O. {- U. h' w4 xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
. C( F: X0 K- Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
: W& e( s4 W" @

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.