Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ u3 K7 S, V, i9 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! {- M$ E6 u) b% D& Z) K, R( uJOB DESCRIPTION:
; A7 u7 ~0 [8 P; x3 I, e4 W; bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

( m; s9 h7 [% n- ?, f) t) `7 wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, c' p: H; b0 q* Y6 T9 Q1 C, TCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ Z2 G6 h; @' v9 u. |7 x/ j5 Q9 ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
* L: g+ ?( m, p9 u5 m% wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% F0 e( t* c" J" k* h( N9 a- R4 `2 KSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* O2 {1 y" m( Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  M, `6 c. T' ]4 h+ H: z$ ]Extensive courier duties also required.

1 }, V; k5 }6 M5 k" C7 b% H. nRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( {* Z( v8 C2 O9 a/ H. FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- z( e* V2 P3 [2 X) iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* N8 w/ Z5 z. c( mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( ^; v) G- W. |$ O' N/ k- GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 d9 k. w% ]8 \' {and stuck zippers.
1 L* s; X) y: J6 j6 @( V; ]& VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 K, I" v8 {: B5 g' Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. h: O" R6 F# j" |8 V1 b! k7 L/ MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 l- Q) y% F' c- F9 b) w" \5 {Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. p! C' _* E- }% a, t' A& D% ]the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. \! A. j& o5 b) t, I0 ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& _' e; i9 F/ q6 s3 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ X! G. c4 q" d$ b& A% Z3 e. `8 Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# [% c" r- j3 Y% |4 ~7 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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' ~" X7 g. M2 g9 I5 ~/ ]; C& w  }. EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ P0 ]7 Y- @6 b4 v+ t9 {None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 N. W1 _5 Z, x% y, [WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
4 z* I- }, n6 K: ]9 lOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- r3 w2 h$ L) a% L; v( `2 UBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% R. G; n& U! i$ d! ^4 }no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& m. [" x' v& R$ D# H. Cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 j5 H& M- S0 @% J  c! q5 w" \! xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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  Z5 m/ ?/ x8 @! E. ~& J! a# s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



4 D/ O1 {* o4 LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 o8 p% m7 n9 P& z$ e6 R1 Wletting them know they are appreciated
0 D' K0 ]0 u8 B5 Yfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, Y5 [5 i, ]/ {5 pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.