Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 @* Q7 L( M" ]& |9 a( C2 I" `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
/ I( _/ @8 A: b$ P6 D( X& R% @

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

2 ]  p6 w( t+ l! u$ i' wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! Z* J9 o' b0 V3 `Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) [/ ^" C" U: }# b5 ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ D/ K5 n( y( x: Z3 e, Q( b$ A( jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
" Z2 @) y* T" ^, i+ i  K- o
7 C6 k6 F9 l! _8 z$ c) CRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 [3 P& X! d2 X( n: V. x2 {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 P5 b( u/ q( T* Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 b# a/ j: K1 E/ a1 `7 [1 [the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. L* O% y: J( }* G; U9 QMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ x/ C# ^" [5 zMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# `9 k8 x( v& E3 a2 U/ f- |4 ^5 eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. l7 `3 `* I+ _9 \8 ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) c- g  T! K) k6 F8 \Must assume final, complete accountability for
9 C! @! U. h& f9 ~the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( A# a: Y7 L; {& h* hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. n% _* m- U, ?Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% d! {3 B( G; B; mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
( `! E) F& }* cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


0 g+ s5 ]  Q* N! D6 h) XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 G1 {1 i; a6 p- r2 `9 uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" u9 b+ p2 H1 a4 {9 {+ aGet this! You pay them!
/ v2 H% {  z/ A+ q: UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 d, E; D* [1 ]& h! L( n# [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 j0 H- r) A7 F7 M" Cof the assumption that college will help them
: y4 t' P* t5 r: ?become financially independent.
# r( ?0 E- t$ T8 X0 hWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" Y0 e1 e) b8 ~6 ^% V  LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
8 }# R: Z0 D+ }: M
! V# e& W* i1 L2 \+ a2 ]BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 i# v- i/ `- `0 }- s% l2 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 E  q7 o# M4 ~: xfor life if you play your cards right.

. L) ^- I& {. p


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


$ k& X) Y: R' z+ K, @
' b& P. S1 z' ~3 w8 C. e, BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
: M; ?$ A+ _! n4 M3 t+ J3 ?' tfor the fabulous job they do...
0 B  H' m1 G+ r: y# {3 I# Cor forward with love
% L4 u- \; L% f) U: O0 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.