 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ' H6 Z/ a& G7 s* k. ~- A( }
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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7 k6 I- }& b, h g5 eJOB DESCRIPTION:8 X% _% ?# @$ j K
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. $ B' A4 S$ h b( ~$ c5 `; \1 s1 h
Candidates must possess excellent communication 0 i& ?$ }) ^3 Q
and organizational skills and be willing to work 6 E* y" r1 P3 [! ?
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ s9 a$ `& [% A" F& K' i3 B% qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 6 b" s2 p5 W) r+ f- S
Some overnight travel required, including trips to : c: R- ^2 A! r7 L2 f* c
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ F! ^/ a) \# D& Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; a3 \& b! W) _ t) _& i9 lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
# ^' O6 ^3 X; B; U! V9 a- rExtensive courier duties also required. & j& `7 _. u' R9 Q/ }! {
1 s$ g/ c/ @# l3 t& _) b& L7 gRESPONSIBILITIES:
: S7 s8 b5 Y5 H4 _4 M/ P3 Q& B7 kThe rest of your life.
! u4 E% g3 n" o4 p8 W& p& i0 kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ; h4 K& `3 R$ e$ p! P1 V
until someone needs $5.
8 ?0 ^. }% Q/ I1 C0 kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" k$ j5 R! Y+ ]4 V$ B( Y( a t, ]5 p' GAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 k' M# O8 O tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat : R( `& D& V3 Y/ }3 E/ v
in case, this time, the screams from
( a" V3 i/ [% i. h: @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 {) [6 C1 @! ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" t h( r ?7 @7 Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 x: u5 A1 P+ }; F1 yand stuck zippers. 1 z- Z! V" I' \
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 9 d S u! N( B' Z: Y: J$ q# Y
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. ) t: z8 i3 A- \. w. V. B
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# O6 c- @& B+ E$ g0 }Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 j1 f9 j; i) V( X- h& man embarrassment the next. , f# {4 F. F( ?2 J. `. o9 k- y
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 6 |6 O/ }5 n7 _
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ! T9 p5 e/ D) T4 X8 g
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ J$ z7 p/ a4 p) rMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ ^* S: p' {. m4 e5 Ethe quality of the end product.
* g( @ K% [7 c- XResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and $ T1 z& Y2 [; S$ ~% u. J8 |
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
' b7 M& X+ ?( {9 kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and % f+ ~9 `5 u3 d3 G
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ! g8 p1 m! W, q8 g6 s+ a Q3 l
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 G( X$ A3 f6 E5 }3 A! O$ BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ; Z; b, w+ O; }! a
None required, unfortunately. . j* ]) l! N: t! ^: I$ a
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 5 F" B8 o! g4 t: g9 U" }
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 6 G) T' T0 h2 q6 j# O
Get this! You pay them! 3 \0 s9 E! G+ u1 s2 `6 ^( z: J
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. " t; E. O9 M. T/ M; g' }! s- a( E* F
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! i0 z) g" h( T @: z5 _of the assumption that college will help them
. m! A* K% g5 y Pbecome financially independent. & E$ |4 E- B/ U5 \+ S/ Q9 B
When you die, you give them whatever is left. ' \& w& o6 f! G1 E2 G0 p2 e
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 B' s1 p. q- d$ q8 F" L' Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: 7 z" `3 H* g4 t8 N( j2 U/ p* ^* x
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ' d9 Y" s. w# |4 {
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! u7 t0 A, j4 q$ W! S% jno stock options are offered,
~0 O! X9 a3 k$ n9 E3 _this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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0 l9 O; J0 v! O( E2 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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& V0 F5 n1 k/ z& u% m1 _& ]- Afor life if you play your cards right.) @9 k4 l3 C, e# l4 n" ^, \
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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: ]" U/ ?( z% E: c# B0 PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 9 V1 p# R8 v. {$ Z/ f* n H
letting them know they are appreciated
7 ~' E* h* h7 U6 Q, T) f% `4 ~for the fabulous job they do...
+ y2 Q# Q' P" Z Yor forward with love
# o1 H' T, I! l2 Z$ V- zto anyone thinking of applying for the job., U6 q" I8 a, h( G* U$ |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
