Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: Y+ s6 f! J( O+ c) H" I& o2 `  {Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, ?* F+ |4 C) d2 k  KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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  h: E2 A- E% \$ t8 H: EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 `, ]# E* k0 m/ s* Y% `) G7 rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) m3 f% N( `; x$ ?% F' r8 Tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, {3 @( }7 i" T; L! qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: C. s5 R, e2 b6 c6 |5 |9 }endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ h& ]' i* k) c+ U! G- [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% k0 I! c& {1 t/ v" W4 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; v) b) G. U) o* h4 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! P$ e7 }0 D7 D$ VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 o( z/ L* b$ A6 c8 n4 bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 O" Z3 S# y. eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, k. Y% H0 j8 M1 n$ U4 G# m8 q9 gan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  ~- e1 w" P$ K6 b% P/ zMust assume final, complete accountability for
2 a0 v1 z' |) x8 x: xthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" U- `( W8 ?7 bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 f6 \( d- |- S; {3 L9 o! FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 H* R# t' o8 {( N, o) w. kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
# B0 q+ L  y+ E/ Ccan ultimately surpass you.
' Y) C6 f, Z7 G: M* B! y' ^

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
4 r; `! ]7 u* c- w1 M6 wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 {3 X0 o% v8 ?WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; x( z; @5 w: H! lGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ G1 x) Z6 r7 T  C5 O' W$ za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- A/ G# T& \- k: `become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 @  a4 H4 U& l2 o; BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ W8 r; |0 \6 ^+ m4 n; [1 vno stock options are offered,
" Y6 s9 y% U3 `; mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# O# m$ X! ]1 a8 q* O; nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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% A0 p3 a8 j) a3 F+ }/ gfor life if you play your cards right.


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' f2 L" V) r0 A- `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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0 n0 e8 q" v$ }. @8 g7 _# UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
, @) X. H) |* l. r$ x6 i' gor forward with love
9 p) T7 t1 x' N0 bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.