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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:, B' S: @$ r0 n9 }9 d/ G# B2 Y8 M5 q
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma : C' }5 M$ ^" S2 t) `6 @# ~9 j
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- o( J; e! A. M0 v+ H: `0 ~! iJOB DESCRIPTION:
! z. o7 `! G+ ^7 |( dLong term, team players needed for challenging,4 T8 c! h* G2 C

0 J# V2 t' B% Kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 1 T4 e% v! I$ ]: G
Candidates must possess excellent communication
# B- B# `. `: h3 n5 Nand organizational skills and be willing to work - T0 k/ P! @- c6 _0 ]8 @2 b. p+ R
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- P8 Z0 S: g; `$ y% Q  D2 M! k& Oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- ?; t# U. L+ G  uSome overnight travel required, including trips to " v8 k8 ]: ?' G4 B* @4 B
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ( I; n0 e/ c: w' R; V
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ ], g7 L& H& e6 `; e* H, s' uTravel expenses not reimbursed.   _+ g/ s% q& p9 [; \
Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 a  i7 p# e  F! SRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 U9 O; }! C" u+ o) R( a  i; s3 MThe rest of your life.
) j0 u' B1 x4 f4 F$ @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 6 ~! w2 |) ^3 B$ Z
until someone needs $5. ; u3 E5 q2 m# x1 W
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. / T7 O8 G7 b/ d
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 J- m1 X% r: i8 M# \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; j2 H( f, X# \+ _, Vin case, this time, the screams from
; f5 \9 X6 d4 _: T1 nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ [# M# h1 W# t) O! w2 MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, " c" o* Q) j8 B# n
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 r1 f1 h' L  Z% S$ S, ?& x' |: m5 Vand stuck zippers. - c7 t! a, }) ]' W% ?2 C) [3 z
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 5 f3 Y2 S3 [$ F( u7 ^
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- z) }2 U! _( R. o5 m2 MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 2 `7 z; m1 N) r8 s7 N5 C4 P" X
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 S: w8 b. N! ^# ]) Q3 B1 ?an embarrassment the next.
! g+ C# U, ^' f0 x* hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a + [) m) e! k  Z0 k
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# L  b$ f6 L0 [( m' sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ( k1 E% B- v. t$ P, d  {# K' G4 K' j
Must assume final, complete accountability for - ]8 ^( Z8 l" D7 Z
the quality of the end product. 0 ^, l5 _7 i6 W. D  N
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 u. d/ Q( P* b4 ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' C* Z/ Q; w5 [) rNone.
9 h0 Y6 p4 O+ F+ |Your job is to remain in the same position for years, / @# q/ Y4 W; y  N9 a% q
without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ s2 S4 I+ {- Y1 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 6 i4 ~! g  N2 K  ?( f" |
can ultimately surpass you.
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: N% E, M5 p; p: y  WPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: % ], ^$ @. O$ D$ C: J* f% Q. ~) x; F
None required, unfortunately. . L, u; r; r* J# \- Z/ {
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: " ^4 Z& E1 w7 S& {+ ~  o7 p7 D5 f
Get this! You pay them! : l+ ?# ^3 p" @" {
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 G+ }- X1 [! Z3 j/ d  wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because % _1 P: i0 o/ h6 M/ R) V9 n
of the assumption that college will help them
8 {: j1 w" s  D+ W  qbecome financially independent.
- k" r5 U+ s# y5 F+ uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 9 \" b% i% j+ g6 t+ P
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ M5 P+ r0 ~0 F$ `3 C" C0 U' @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: ! W3 \% t& c( ^' O
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ E, Q  s2 C5 `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and " E( L6 w8 x) _' [; ?
no stock options are offered,
# d) F! X7 y+ v  ]7 U; R( j' J& `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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8 M8 w' E+ [( f" @. V7 J; Nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **) y& l$ ^3 d/ x) N' u

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, . q# s2 h2 ~9 d6 T) i9 s' ?
letting them know they are appreciated * ~6 {# g- A9 k
for the fabulous job they do...
  t- @8 R0 |( y! A# Hor forward with love
/ J) E* t$ h  S: B; I; tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.+ U5 e7 `% l0 j# z' _
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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