Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 z- E& Z2 l1 @( q' A0 }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
& p7 P7 S) y4 cLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* [, m+ k: M9 p) }/ ~Candidates must possess excellent communication
) u) V  X# e2 Y: y4 K) uand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' h  C8 ^$ c1 G  [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  x5 Q2 `6 |( t) yTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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( v. s8 b' a& ?" Y& JRESPONSIBILITIES:
1 N. O% S+ w; n! ^: C8 bThe rest of your life.
# N* f( {) `$ yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ `8 d7 |$ E1 T7 qMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 C% ~. D. f4 _in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) B" G" f  Z: X9 U: p% k3 Kand stuck zippers.
, y6 V! q- `( Q! ]6 i! D5 n. Z1 }Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% \: e3 r5 U2 P0 F' W. G3 s% TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  A2 r+ m: ^3 c& jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' ?( d1 _" A1 yan embarrassment the next.
0 e) ^0 D5 ^6 |% f0 Z  QMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& g+ t+ l5 E* q/ q4 `, rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
6 U9 u  P- K$ b# {5 YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 f# v) }7 n8 {$ q6 C* kcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" P3 J0 b$ K& Z% t% r+ kNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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0 ?4 j+ v/ a1 }$ _! UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, U& i, g2 z' B* e5 ]$ BGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
" [7 @5 t2 v: c3 JWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 I: _5 x% W1 ?( G- eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; I8 V4 H6 N( e3 U6 X  m& Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- h) m1 S& s! n  r* J/ B/ P) zBENEFITS:
1 c# M# {: t4 S( @: bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: f" F. L6 d9 P4 bno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' \% [. [6 o7 I  ?  W4 GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 l( S% Y8 x  u$ T% g' w3 j" M9 Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.