Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  {, R+ O6 ]/ K# I8 ~( dMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! D. J0 f' l) x# I4 L3 sJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& T, r0 m& e1 ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& S. x$ L; b5 k( E' v6 X' Auntil someone needs $5.
  o" S. Z1 w0 ]$ q% y. `" s4 RMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' O* o! Y3 _6 x( s! Nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, L- W6 A2 z( K8 L# PMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* Y  d, B7 i- h/ l* E4 Z' s6 sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& \' q7 [9 |' R; t8 H& n$ pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ l- p2 l) j) R, X$ n( T0 Kan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' |5 `( u$ T: R3 ~/ o( p, _4 A1 C: tMust assume final, complete accountability for
% X+ O$ y9 \2 X. X+ O+ p% Q9 nthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 o- o0 o- \+ S0 G8 Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

; Q$ Q$ O6 \) R% D( A7 C  J) EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, ^4 o6 O) r- ]  c; S0 Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) N) d( `8 D" `" B+ O) B( x: D+ c' F9 Hcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 r' Q: ~' T( R0 mGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% k6 F) Q4 W7 A% O* f: c$ La balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
. o  O# u# K: Q: cbecome financially independent.
6 U8 Z) ^+ |6 Y$ QWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! s# _3 f% \* p4 @( Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
9 Q9 |1 o1 m) j0 |4 c  YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; s, G7 M( O0 A; Bno stock options are offered,
' d7 V8 D5 r. b/ O0 n3 zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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% v& z0 {# v$ x% g8 ]! rfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.