Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, A( q# k! T+ r9 E! r% n" dDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

5 r# a9 c( D5 p9 t% i6 A/ h7 O* npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 i; [: s; f* M  Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 w  p6 V$ f) L$ _' y! iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- A" ~& g* t) _Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ |0 v4 a9 u( ]* K: o% U; |until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) \4 a- ~9 X" f3 ~and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 f3 t, |9 b5 f) c# Lin case, this time, the screams from
, N# }% X) z: R3 D  Y# `the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, R1 S) q2 ]: h/ ~" g5 n# Z  psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
5 D% Z# \- }& q* A: H: [; bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* ^4 ]% S6 _5 i: j9 L5 uMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: p' Z( T/ R5 c/ H3 f, s; ~. n/ {3 GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. x, Z# s% o; YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ L2 d+ V# S, `' [& |+ W6 F. othe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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0 z; B' L+ t- ~9 P, vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( [# s/ K) T# N/ {3 |2 o" H3 y4 ?% p: vNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 E3 n) n& y6 Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 }: N7 f& H& P# nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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: M8 g1 B8 J3 O2 W' |; V& \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% b% l  e  u: o$ n2 l+ a0 E. [! hGet this! You pay them!
  s: D7 N* T3 E. j* TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ }/ J# h9 A. z( k9 w1 D" L/ u' w2 g9 t4 ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 X2 `7 [) v0 Zof the assumption that college will help them
- C3 l* n3 E" l4 h: G8 Ybecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) {, K, @3 n% B% F' \1 j! lBENEFITS:
" ?4 C! t) F7 ~4 ?( A  d& kWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 ]1 |8 u/ T/ `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 ~- N; h$ ^1 B5 }) s0 Z8 lno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# Y5 V; k8 l( w7 qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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3 }1 O/ C1 C$ |1 f! [6 f% V
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
+ q" l# j. p- o; H% G3 N

( T* @+ K$ @% N
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- ~' B) ~. X* V) e* z' o. C# pletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% @2 z" Y2 F- c1 \5 @) T/ for forward with love
6 w* y( m# i1 x2 ]- W4 qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.