Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 y7 _+ o. f( S; ]* R# KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 @! Z, }# J: D. ?/ r# U' nLong term, team players needed for challenging,

! F3 Y' U! x/ D" w% u5 L' hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 O9 Z  m  W, }% c/ U2 K' qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 }& J" r7 |3 r- D% l2 E' u9 uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. N. l7 q3 s+ y0 ]& [8 a; ^' pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* W' }, H. n% ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" ?' E  h$ @8 x) w! rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
8 @7 W$ Z; f" a6 P$ EExtensive courier duties also required.
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4 t* r' ?8 P8 z6 o# e" f9 m% ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
; Z) f- a' ^% A# i& eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ B+ h# D2 C# `0 [until someone needs $5.
+ H- m. k$ U# Q; I0 E6 @Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, K2 ~# h! B3 H: y7 x9 g! YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( N9 v5 ~9 y& U5 kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* t" I1 Z8 ]" r. a  x# Pin case, this time, the screams from
! l" o4 O, O$ M2 F0 y' @: D! g* qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 l" }: z1 O# i2 i/ D, r, XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 \% Y( O+ |3 usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  |2 B7 i. b- m5 |( f+ n1 x; [and stuck zippers.
/ v# }9 Y. u" R: k9 DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ `7 P# m3 ]& X2 E; Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 N% P# R/ C, t4 J. U) F5 mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% Z6 V( _. |: K: N7 j0 i6 x& \Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( ?/ P4 }1 }: h! J5 B  M* p8 ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( W9 O. u' j, hMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# G4 Q7 m: B4 @/ ]Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 l5 I; F" C  l1 L3 E# JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 {7 N( ?5 k2 H7 _2 J  s  R8 ONone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, W9 b! g. ?! L0 U' v- M% g9 Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 L* p# M# }6 V/ _- a: V. V" J' L( K* `updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; ?* s5 v7 n6 ]" D4 i$ y; sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. l  _0 F( z4 S* i1 w7 nGet this! You pay them!
: N/ j1 K, U% C0 @Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 |! \6 b/ l9 f1 n& R/ d1 Vof the assumption that college will help them
8 z! ^% C6 i7 L+ R) O: U& }become financially independent.
& @+ o  ~" e" B3 C6 O) n8 q' X) PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) ~5 r. D  b& SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 {, q) g! I1 D- k  f3 ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
. L8 x! d0 w; EWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 V  G: P! e$ K$ k% hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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4 U& Q# T1 S$ C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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* I' |0 {  H1 H% BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) O0 \4 e  W4 U) ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 a0 y  O$ u6 E" G. q2 A3 X8 C9 Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.