埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3410|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
& Z' s& E/ X8 FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( m5 n4 v  t* m) UDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
- }, W( P3 t* P

' W& e/ M* Z) t0 G! M2 I; N1 G! W! n/ B
JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 |! G2 i. A- TLong term, team players needed for challenging,
" D& K/ W7 h' m1 r+ Z9 q" Y. ~, I* G
( j, J! _& y9 p, opermanent work in an often chaotic environment. - J$ i. l) ^8 J: a' F
Candidates must possess excellent communication ( \  f7 t! M/ W4 x
and organizational skills and be willing to work 6 S8 J, h' x9 {- F& Z( t
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends % F) T8 r0 U( u+ Y; p
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* E6 t; u# h$ I% J; G/ r) wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
$ ?) C: }2 C: v4 E! l0 x) aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& @6 j# |5 U: L: X) ^  D% ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities! # X0 C" q5 u: _
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ) n6 \8 ]+ ?4 W- |. y
Extensive courier duties also required. 2 z) p: R8 ^- s. f+ y' x

3 p* \( H5 m' W+ g7 b" DRESPONSIBILITIES:( A: a% J3 z/ h2 b8 l2 Q
The rest of your life. 0 A  d8 L' ^$ t5 R" p2 ^
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- }" G- l$ Z. [; guntil someone needs $5. ) d  d+ a3 }5 _. c0 {2 @0 ~
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. , A% V* _% _& T' ~' B
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* K5 p7 T( G6 k& a: yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 r6 X- _8 d/ {& r1 Tin case, this time, the screams from   o$ ?! a+ |$ k/ }+ L1 |, X6 I" Q
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. * Z' h& ?5 I% m' V
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 7 n3 p2 c2 p8 C6 H
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ N2 \7 s" b) f1 b, |& ^) v. a+ Tand stuck zippers.
- l9 g2 Q2 H9 g) n$ u- \0 C! n* x. ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: X' J$ w2 R# w1 Jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" R/ K' Y; M& a/ y$ fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' d# u6 V5 w7 M; y. H( qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ v( q; z- l/ Yan embarrassment the next. 0 d3 }" L" M0 E6 B! B, c
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ E1 s* M( g0 ?' E! G" v& khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 7 p" E- W4 _3 C2 m7 E. h7 m4 F) h
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. . K/ Q# g& C# g; e8 P! |
Must assume final, complete accountability for 0 \( l8 _" }; `* E$ [- t
the quality of the end product. ( p8 P9 m) I- B" C
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( Y) a0 }$ e' H8 a7 ]  K9 J- j* Y$ mjanitorial work  throughout the facility. * ~7 R. M* ?! b+ J

; E2 O4 x. w$ {1 oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:" C# C7 D, b$ ]3 s7 O: A
None. ) k/ @5 D4 e( A" V2 P
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ) ^$ _* G3 C2 G0 q6 u% I
without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 d& g; F; L( T# H9 S, vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ) T3 D; E  T% Q' P$ ?
can ultimately surpass you.
+ [) f5 W  r3 }+ K" @! u* L5 }$ {3 T) V+ ^5 V" q
* S( V+ a. u* I  t+ s( k. K7 F. w
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ( E& o0 T. M0 r. V* o  k( `
None required, unfortunately.
& r9 ~2 o' b* w9 c1 h$ O( }On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
) y0 G* H4 K& j4 Z0 k
) d; X1 u; k0 n9 zWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 5 G( i' w0 S' b; Y( p
Get this! You pay them! 7 u9 X$ ~. \# u) I) m6 o2 M
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. " d  @. S4 d' f
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! [' O  b. V. y7 ~5 q( ?of the assumption that college will help them 7 U0 e( B6 x3 D2 i# N9 g0 G4 L
become financially independent. , H/ p5 K! r3 ]3 i6 E
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 5 Y- U6 {# T: z4 l
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: x. K7 k2 k/ v5 v4 Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
% ?6 h; t* a# `) e- ^6 r& N4 S
4 L9 p9 B( S4 v/ Z: U9 L* L5 \BENEFITS: 9 {: e0 Z  [( g' F- H. I
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) ~: Y' ~" B0 u# W! t$ @; ]( Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ( m) \9 ?0 G/ b: e
no stock options are offered,& E' k4 s& V1 ~
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, , w8 t/ s& P8 S" \. N( l, p

( U$ G5 t; |- U! A( t( H. \% w# x2 Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 1 _. N7 t1 n. X* [

5 v: k( f  k, Q- [5 f, z1 Q% lfor life if you play your cards right.
$ a  I5 l. I# u
, B' d  m& t6 d( R) M6 F / i* s& S3 W. v

1 @/ Y8 q' Y0 |$ G0 m! v
0 }/ w5 e5 {6 L2 F( [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
# k5 I) ^$ Q( |0 W( B% X) \: _  q! S; |3 ?7 X' ^

! r# ^( }2 g1 h. S$ ^: r7 ~
8 i" g' T+ T6 V+ gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 4 k0 W. D( {8 A8 R  k
letting them know they are appreciated ( T  g) b2 N! P: F9 b, l7 f7 @7 a  ^
for the fabulous job they do...
8 o1 y3 D. h* o/ F% i" J# tor forward with love 3 x+ ]- H" @7 u9 O- T8 O
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
3 b5 x+ ~% C5 N3 s& x# n' D
. c& G5 w' @5 Y
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
大型搬家
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-4-9 19:24 , Processed in 0.200965 second(s), 14 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表