Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 H! l& f7 O. l2 R1 Q0 g# ?Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

; {. j' W0 L) z6 J! P' h6 z# d
- [6 n( }3 S  }' G! g( RJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
! S+ [  J' |! f3 I. Y
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 Q, @  Z) e2 n1 bCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# @' f$ U  \' Z" y5 ?- L4 i/ mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 [8 G  |0 {8 w, N7 iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 {* Q+ G+ k" R" ]- Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* w& \" R# }1 VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
& P$ G: D1 k! h0 J( \) i4 l2 X% Z
7 z7 k/ y& K# S/ q" R6 S9 N4 S2 eRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 ~7 u( a1 x* F7 `! kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 n" f9 {- f/ |" Z. O% h5 D2 o4 ^in case, this time, the screams from
% L/ b# F  w3 d. m) B$ Qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 G+ A- K4 @1 ?0 x, u! C6 l& n2 qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
9 t- d1 y, w) wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 t2 K) N4 O1 ]Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
6 P) d; n9 G7 q, [6 e# K1 I
3 X3 O2 J  ?5 ?% L' j2 Z+ b* tPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% B+ Z, k2 ^% i  }( J6 A4 t+ ?5 ?; UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 b# ~# C4 R1 Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

. i) y9 u! h+ \( y
3 O2 u. v0 x# q7 K' k/ f. APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; s6 u/ V- Z4 k+ m8 }2 ~& kNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 q6 @7 @) X6 X5 a# sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! _$ A  w& g* z, G3 z3 Y- XGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 ]8 U$ q% v# f. @' D$ k; u9 yof the assumption that college will help them
4 f3 w3 ^* C1 i- j5 Bbecome financially independent.
1 v; s. {+ @4 e" \9 X7 }& FWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! Z% h  B4 @1 z/ D2 h: L! nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
. o' l8 {( C- N$ P; q6 s' `: @
! p, K9 d7 B2 U% L  oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) F5 Q3 E7 a+ P. _6 _& t& qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 d' }" j) k7 U2 y- N# {no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 N; C0 G; \4 h( S0 a
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


3 O6 m/ j$ Z- J# U$ f% |' L
. [+ Z& N0 ^1 v! Q+ c
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


; R( Q; o. g7 s1 Q4 p2 _
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ f7 H  u+ K+ k7 C6 Nletting them know they are appreciated
, b) K7 Q. ?* g# afor the fabulous job they do...
6 A) E' U& U/ V* Wor forward with love
$ R3 ^6 l. g1 k4 h1 U6 i6 mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
; y; W$ r! b& x/ ?9 T% o* v2 X
4 P: M& T0 J. a, I, c7 b

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.