Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. b4 |8 Y+ B- e( H/ {% H) FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
7 s+ Y" N; |/ f# g! S* V" m4 S

( o% g& B9 E+ [$ m* M- sJOB DESCRIPTION:
7 T' ]7 E% m# a& LLong term, team players needed for challenging,

6 ]" G6 B- C4 s; o: Epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! \# _2 M( O+ s" h" ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 H' b; w4 d1 b( T/ I7 Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 U1 S& i0 Z8 W' M8 }5 b4 USome overnight travel required, including trips to
. U3 {7 L4 l9 e' E, lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: p# e4 Z- T) W# r" [' @$ ^endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
! L0 B0 X  M- M6 R7 z: H' C
RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 z0 B. j$ D& f: d+ ]5 [: qThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ Q+ u- w, N; v5 c* i) t( L0 _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 d+ p& i& X3 o3 d% u  @# g* Z" Gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) ^/ z5 C; f7 Min case, this time, the screams from
0 i5 D! J6 I3 M4 I, ]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) `- c. E+ e0 F  h/ i  V+ q0 WMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 ^: y9 R6 x9 _# O& b# w0 b9 MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 Y5 O5 _) u; |coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  d  Z* A4 z8 X4 @& [, `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% ^! H# Y2 |# Y5 l: G. X$ n; m: Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ ^& q/ j# H- }9 w) zthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 _; ?8 [& Z. B8 W1 Y; Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ z& u& f$ c8 b+ m9 CNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  o2 O0 N: [4 Y  f& Xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
1 Y7 X* b' B6 m0 Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

" F- G3 j) _5 ?9 H+ X+ O
, `& O- g' W) aPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 a& f5 j$ ^1 ?6 ?: _9 {9 l0 G* NNone required, unfortunately.
6 h; W8 n+ t/ a9 p1 ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
$ G/ v) C' X# Y  m! q5 i" d
$ Q) y4 q/ e2 v1 d/ M8 `* \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
/ @( S4 y3 b9 z' cbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, x( v( R2 p) k" r2 M0 j- e. b; `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' Z9 R9 q4 j4 N7 @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ r; Y: ?' L. S- |. t) g. I5 Q: w
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! Q' O) @/ D1 O8 pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 s2 t# B9 v. u2 @7 I# D* i9 J
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 _! n3 U4 I' Y
* `8 Y0 x2 x( s; h! g- mfor life if you play your cards right.

0 ]+ D, V# E/ n* t& w, j" T' |+ N

0 V" b2 C$ [4 q. u5 P
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 m/ Y9 e2 J: v2 R; Pletting them know they are appreciated
% `' M1 c: U3 q. W/ z4 ~for the fabulous job they do...
: r. y% `; v# V! C$ G( t7 w  hor forward with love
3 W" {2 x' I  rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.