Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) h1 A. l) K- w1 w3 [3 K9 Y; g$ xCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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: ~& w8 ^$ S+ vRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" C" V& }) w; X: t9 r2 j2 Kuntil someone needs $5.
+ N8 ~- f+ \5 z  h1 b( \& Y9 mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) }& e" a; C0 X4 _( eAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 U8 {6 ?4 D  \4 Win case, this time, the screams from
' C! K9 A/ N$ q- `2 [3 O3 F4 Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- o# n2 G* i$ t3 s  Ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
% i5 D% o+ i  T& S$ |and stuck zippers.
+ z' M2 d2 y" }/ H& UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* B" e8 W+ N) b. x- G; M7 ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( N/ T0 O* p$ w* C6 A5 w5 B" I% JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 ~* y. C; z& g# r8 }0 ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ o; q1 f8 }* s0 t: X- Tan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 y, Y' q- W* Y' m& P! g. u: `( phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 S, {1 l% f0 c/ R2 P9 i! W6 Athe quality of the end product.
' _* e# l  n' z  A8 o7 b2 g3 IResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 h' G% j4 I3 E' D1 I) UNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 B, O2 R4 N6 l( c, ?# Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


/ z9 H& T! }$ a( c, b( V. X5 w9 O, yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) P- |. \. {9 {2 ^None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# a+ }/ y6 P8 P0 m  C$ yWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" U' X. o( j( F+ U+ l" a9 nGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 W& e* Q' n4 l5 n. l! N$ N3 KWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 F5 D; x0 u) k* Z" n/ vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
$ _( D* W  e- ?, g& wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. s7 T( Y2 E; |% funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) ^* t/ E) G$ @for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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( l4 j3 x. D/ Z8 zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 ^% {0 B3 Q& h% G' A0 ^letting them know they are appreciated
: A9 Y$ g1 G8 N* Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.