Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 A/ u3 l; y1 [  z  N: i$ cDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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( t* M! K9 @) QJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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  @8 n: X( A2 \, dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- z( d8 q1 {( aand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 {% v2 G% q" [- c& Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  @. E& ?- \( Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* B2 t  |5 [: h1 d4 V. cuntil someone needs $5.
, E" Y; Y; y' R8 f# Q+ pMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# j. _0 J7 m2 d% F3 h- cAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 j: ~+ N- b4 F4 MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 N6 P0 |: P# ]( B+ j. h0 Wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  `5 A; p( S6 x$ K* [and stuck zippers.
) z' L. v0 s# R4 H7 I& s2 L. s& qMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" K8 V/ D: h( V. r: rMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ b1 U0 M' m7 I. g- ?2 @an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 C. m# }, X" a! f6 m; @- i% `2 }$ cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 F- I0 ~( k( q! rMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 _+ K5 ]: ]! D; o- A4 Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

4 b9 s) t+ V; O8 U2 v5 X( A/ g8 ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& M9 k0 f! R; ?8 M. ]* TNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( Q; B3 {0 t; B* g/ |/ \% Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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7 w$ p/ g( t+ E- b& LPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' Q/ z9 p8 ~* z; G) O) R3 gNone required, unfortunately.
( g& C4 Q2 a% }0 S! [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, A$ E% u  t! ~: L+ x# f* MGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
& _1 W2 i# @; p( va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 G% }5 {* e' y$ UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" o6 f8 U  ]) s3 b( y7 U% o) w9 i1 b5 UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
* b- z$ J$ Q/ VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" T; }8 {8 m! g5 p4 }5 ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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) l' a4 p8 E6 E) M* U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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, A) H, P0 D, {+ u# A, R3 gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) U3 h9 p# l3 l( E+ Z* I8 f: ]for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
8 v8 x( E) E" m6 F  Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.