Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 q; a( v0 A7 q' h' M# Z$ X- {8 n) _8 nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ a# M- Q7 u0 A0 u4 ~Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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' P+ n; m/ s  F1 H: ^: B( {9 m+ uJOB DESCRIPTION:
) l2 k0 t) t* H$ k1 z2 qLong term, team players needed for challenging,

: L1 n* V2 n1 |& n  ]8 k6 Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% a7 v+ _" [/ l' Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
5 p! t' U( b/ F5 r& Qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- j+ s5 {8 y/ s5 o* `$ r, gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 I( w) u3 h; {! f/ Q6 l! fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 Y  I5 p) b3 f3 jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 {1 I5 l2 v! b- d7 l: ]The rest of your life.
' |% f% d, A' `8 J" lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
! m* n& D0 h: O) R! |, B& kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 D1 j4 Z' P; p+ z7 Uand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 H& n* G6 p: c  gMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* ~7 Z8 _& M* b2 P% @, ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ L2 y: g& F, f: m# EMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 P& b) c; _/ U0 O7 K4 k9 Z% tthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ h2 S( a) ?$ N: hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 V) v% X" X3 S6 G' `5 t' gYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 I4 q" `4 I$ V: }: y* r. ~without complaining,constantly retraining and
# {0 a# P& L! B( Iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ x8 n; ^8 ]4 P; wcan ultimately surpass you.
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6 x! y* S! ~* T+ zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! I- K$ F  M9 H7 JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

: a; U0 Z" l- i7 |2 b; k- BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. I3 I% o& J+ ?0 a8 B/ d* ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
, ]: j7 a1 ^; W% s5 p/ D  RWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: F* v5 T; u( sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ P% R" ?5 P, `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' ~  _. @2 g( b: [; D* q+ k# }( NBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 x: B) e) b9 e5 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 Q$ ~# X0 k/ t/ M5 h- x
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 {6 j2 h, \1 e! s
for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
* G" k0 W+ S2 ?; E7 g8 xfor the fabulous job they do...
2 H( O6 k" |0 g: V: x; D8 x) For forward with love
: }+ h; R! W- F8 f$ }0 X( ?to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.