 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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 POSITION:1 i' w/ }2 f4 a* P q
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 6 K! @7 v* \& x- ~
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa; @# b" }2 ]! b. ?5 H- F; ]
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. l2 Y. T: \% J% p6 \JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ M, M* y1 o; T% `( [* J. M! \' oLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. N- Q! n& |7 [8 v+ R
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. ?+ x1 n8 \4 c# @5 N8 qand organizational skills and be willing to work
$ u: _( V7 V4 l7 U. n) N: T6 Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# { K, C' |" J) Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 2 R! J6 P7 W6 s1 ?& A: z6 m3 W
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ; k6 b& ~% V8 f
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ' ]. ]4 S5 W, A2 X
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 0 R" r) c9 _5 Q8 T
Travel expenses not reimbursed. * z3 a: ?6 X: ?& n2 o$ C
Extensive courier duties also required. ; f1 F2 Q* Y, \* p! U7 ]
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RESPONSIBILITIES:2 `* V" s8 m5 T6 {
The rest of your life. 2 N2 |; v/ `* Q" x
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# C$ y3 V; ^) Funtil someone needs $5.
/ J. _ x, g) dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 @) D+ v+ ?& B' ]; XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ `$ v: N0 L% y. H+ q" rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; m6 l9 |+ G; l* G# U; r& ?: Cin case, this time, the screams from
4 K6 @# d* L1 \1 r4 e. Hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. " ]6 I$ B: w) L+ T* |8 r
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' R+ \+ M. J: s3 \8 t6 |" ^2 |
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 t% F6 j: F Y; l. R* g8 l
and stuck zippers. ; @7 n' x/ z8 `1 M0 ]
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: Z B L7 M+ j' D% acoordinate production of multiple homework projects. & p N: s" p$ [4 x% C
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ; ^" i8 J- L: N+ J
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, & M) ?0 v0 F( [) ?$ v1 w4 e
an embarrassment the next.
: _$ O! \2 i6 t) L$ p: AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, p& ^& Z. r; v! M) H2 Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ G$ \1 \ b9 m8 w, Y( _3 g& CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. & [3 F! `5 i2 a- _ v: l9 e
Must assume final, complete accountability for ' V" X3 V2 X+ x. f$ G7 R) W4 p
the quality of the end product.
% q) }, v! @; {Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! ~ o+ f7 T1 l4 [janitorial work throughout the facility.
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' D/ G; e T( M9 p1 X( k# rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:0 X) F6 i0 u1 e8 `1 e
None. C4 i* o( c8 L6 c
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) d8 v" ?% J6 A% d6 d9 o1 jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and ' }0 {! v3 U5 d" q
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
1 F$ T5 m5 ?/ p8 S6 s x( t. ^can ultimately surpass you.
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! n' P4 t/ b( a P3 m: yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 a& ^5 c# `8 t( k7 b ]None required, unfortunately. " X- X$ ?5 D/ q7 u
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. / }- b) y( q4 b& N4 u; [
# p/ Z& p6 [$ I1 ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 ~0 M. S1 H: {6 g1 ` vGet this! You pay them! ( q! W9 R7 E5 K5 ~ C
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 ]- F5 F1 u S% U- e* S t# u" [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! N9 X- z" g" C: kof the assumption that college will help them - v5 S+ \/ I+ |; b2 E5 S
become financially independent.
* B4 }! G5 E7 |, yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
; m8 v5 [0 s2 }2 KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; l: W6 H( `* \/ l# d: ~9 G Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ A/ c, W0 u8 @/ K& SBENEFITS: 4 |; {9 ~" P5 [+ O Q$ ^) D: X
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 6 k0 l L. B; ~8 e( r
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ' T ^. m& I1 s. h
no stock options are offered,
( k4 X% U# w7 Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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4 h8 N- Q" ~# M8 y4 gfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **7 f; r; o2 Z6 [' }- o9 K: ^0 O
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! C5 j2 ]0 d; Q3 A5 m% `5 K7 Q+ j" Jletting them know they are appreciated $ G9 v8 G' I$ {, Y/ Z, u2 @
for the fabulous job they do...
8 [0 E! D( q, h4 ?4 i4 D# xor forward with love f: D9 X4 B4 j. \4 Q
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.* I7 M. a. S: I1 ]/ d- p! J
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