Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# F+ p. C( l% b8 O  p7 O2 _& jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ |2 Z+ W  `/ B, @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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' d8 e0 C+ o1 C( f4 XJOB DESCRIPTION:
! f2 P! b! Q- p: x! `2 z' e( \3 wLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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  y( r! j1 r, ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# }2 t5 F: A1 r0 W# YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
, t% d4 F% a* u" Hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 ]4 u2 P8 \' I& ?, S! }Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

7 t0 \4 P$ A* q& k  `RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
* M1 M. P' s: l+ B/ o* r' }( XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& ^" p& n4 y* y: Runtil someone needs $5.
4 {2 x- q) t4 s) e* cMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 C$ h& Z  ?$ R* H$ V3 nAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 \5 y4 n3 U6 j3 kin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  c2 ?( R2 x1 i4 V5 S) }4 jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 o* K+ O6 O& o/ `0 a3 Z8 ]and stuck zippers.
: {! A# J0 a$ G. e. {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 X) x: \  q* S& T- `! O: f% L6 K% Zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: v' y; j/ S7 |  G4 ?) e1 dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* Y8 L6 d" ~4 {6 j7 M8 b# r; _( bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ U! Z" n+ V: V: u' Y# [& GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, n7 k" @4 l, [7 G0 tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% G# R# J3 r& C  Z! fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; C' T) H7 Q. y8 v; |  ~6 S: PNone required, unfortunately.
! y+ m; }8 [5 l! t5 BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* v6 r8 W- k! Y0 |! fWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
) T; l7 p. u" x- D2 qWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ j8 j; o& O' [& wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

( ]; j/ m9 n) a+ X2 TBENEFITS:
; Y( M! g8 \! j3 w' f1 Y8 ?, i: zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; {2 D/ }1 a. ~no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( o6 L4 f1 v3 k$ {: Pno stock options are offered,
* ?7 u" `6 I0 z$ h/ s* xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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! [; G% h6 s& E9 I2 B* ifor life if you play your cards right.


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6 j1 Y8 |( y* S0 b- x, p- [* ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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# _4 m3 a# Q: v4 [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
0 l! r8 b) U1 \! r, H! E- E) _for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.