Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( `* H9 T: J. s5 e9 M4 B) t( f- |' ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 q2 N9 e  A& B! f: |Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
) f3 W1 s: v1 S7 f7 g% u+ wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 N8 N( B+ F( @( LSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ p0 p- w( |' t* |( nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 ~0 Z  I/ y- e. p" AExtensive courier duties also required.
8 ?/ ^) S. M# u" {0 S: g
+ c. u7 l" m. L% N/ {4 sRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" e& f7 O4 ^0 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. F6 ?( x+ C4 l( e) S# aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& }' h& A8 V: D* f  _$ M6 Din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ q! v: X, B% M; H4 n+ hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" Z; O5 ?2 i" H+ H: fand stuck zippers.
' e& b8 b* I& J5 J! s. s* D8 eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 e# V, w6 x: A2 Dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# B6 i" o7 q7 z2 t8 ^5 \0 I% kMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 c# R6 W  u9 k, x1 J# ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 S& Q1 ?/ K( ]6 Q! O/ u. {( Dthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 v6 `' u/ G3 f$ o! p' O. ?1 gNone.
, V5 E5 Q/ O  YYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% ~+ `! X% K( j' _8 \without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 B, [: q. J! K. tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 w8 Z) J( r8 v9 E3 H6 ~1 Dcan ultimately surpass you.
4 l0 A+ F$ E9 Q
$ b2 Y# c8 r4 A0 m
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

$ j* U/ y; G6 N% P) S0 A; V* q' _5 zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
. H  }, ?5 y! t6 w# h+ ~Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: y, s& z9 y& i6 e3 c) Ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 r9 L. g& F) l9 n: r: e5 Hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 W0 x5 S6 c0 ?* S! LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ {* v7 a: o1 H% U1 VBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 h; L2 k/ ]% ?1 Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. k- E! P: T/ |2 @' l4 Cno stock options are offered,
' u; k) Q7 E1 F- v7 E( b$ gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, ]& I( z, i7 D& J; xfor life if you play your cards right.

( ]1 [' ]0 S: j& r# O2 }, e3 R/ X


4 F' D, X8 j1 x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



7 V& K! y7 {, `4 {7 oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; Y# N4 e1 H2 J! hletting them know they are appreciated
3 Z6 ?6 Z- C* _. C  X! I( Rfor the fabulous job they do...
- E$ }( ^+ M2 T) T* p9 f* Ror forward with love
, p6 P( S4 a: q, Y* o- K5 H, Mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
" Z5 n9 Y$ S9 u- E6 g( O
4 K4 R  E! _; }) ?

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.