Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( Z4 F4 p  S6 C2 vDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
' e1 i' b$ H' o6 d" g' N) s6 fLong term, team players needed for challenging,
( T6 `" a$ v6 i: H
5 w' |8 B  Z' S6 {# p& F# u* vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 u- x# M2 _+ c  m, Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: m2 w2 Z" d+ G' j& _) Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
8 J, i- ~& y; a' I: |5 {- o$ g
9 Y5 }, h7 o# yRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. G4 J4 s8 A; e3 R4 H2 K- AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. \) s. y( x! [+ q" P# h1 runtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( o. i( o) r3 Z) ^% h' @: QAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ H  w6 p8 a- c3 {in case, this time, the screams from
' D# q- y2 X% Q6 ~6 u( wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  B, c4 a% }: @0 Y+ L5 X7 ~/ dMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
, o' g( E8 E1 ?) F  L; bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% P" j8 [/ L" y+ ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* K  O: D. t" Y( I$ dMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% q7 ]  L. @+ c0 P& O5 S% C* }1 uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 V5 X$ v  o8 q9 Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ _; M, n: S* Q) b, \) I% eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
6 q+ H2 g0 ]3 Y( i, V7 z5 q! Jthe quality of the end product.
/ A4 h, [& x, F, q" M" HResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  w0 U0 q$ \; L8 v9 w" |4 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: c- w: _$ Z8 K% G# vNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* h/ }* i7 v' F0 q; vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
6 V1 a6 w1 J# H7 Z. N

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. r+ _  z2 M4 V; e! \2 R) R4 gWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' T; y; U: @. NOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 n4 P- E9 X& ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 ^  e2 C. f; V+ ~( d* [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' v  L. G$ P. Y& {! ^; K& j& XBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 M; X1 v; @' H& Z: n& z8 ^6 bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ b( S) ?6 d% I# R3 k3 ?, uno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 C% y- Y# d; Z: o4 `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
- {) |5 y$ N8 v. n2 X; W/ x2 l
) x; Q+ z3 ~" [3 y# ~for life if you play your cards right.

  }( n2 A1 f5 L$ A& \7 E

7 @/ ?- g: Y2 q& O+ Y  c" d# @
  Z; [3 Y6 H1 o9 l+ t0 g. b** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

0 K+ |( k: b( a
$ U5 N4 g+ x% x# _, m- q& K
5 h# u( `8 I! w  z8 D6 H$ XForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, L' ]" w& Y0 U# w9 n3 Kletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
5 G- P2 L) n+ ^or forward with love
- h3 }2 L$ a# M3 H. hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.