Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

; m0 q$ m! b9 I3 Bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. D6 z( u7 l$ z. \. [  f9 pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: {! \1 f6 h4 i# Y& ]& }- y3 gTravel expenses not reimbursed.
% T! C/ X; l( k/ r8 r# f. |; i# a' F4 lExtensive courier duties also required.

' t  G9 D. E+ H, ARESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* L5 M" V, p) u5 z: L, G! Y* uuntil someone needs $5.
  i/ c2 w: R( R2 fMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# ]% ^/ N8 F5 d! Z( [; @Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 T; j( O( U0 q2 S, D' ~* f& vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 N" `. y- X8 T( mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ C" c  _$ {9 Y4 c2 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  e2 t  b4 p, [, ~; B3 t: R, @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 W9 `/ s2 m7 C- Q) \/ p. ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- {- [* X+ }& R" G* ?. \; v+ r6 mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) p& @5 \' I  t1 _" nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 ?4 z" k' }- \8 d: KMust assume final, complete accountability for
: U3 N  A; Z* T4 Hthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

* J8 h0 h& Y3 J( S. G, J( ~( WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% ~; N6 @6 c) v7 R# QNone.
3 y8 o0 h# \3 \3 FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ M) n: O- s$ m4 pcan ultimately surpass you.
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  C1 x0 O6 `7 }; o0 EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, X: n; p4 o# @5 O- \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

7 J( d: m, u2 nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 `0 s! l! z* Z& u3 ^5 jGet this! You pay them!
  L. _4 O7 {* R9 R5 i8 G3 d9 {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% z1 W' i+ d: Y# L$ \: B) Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
$ F' s' b6 h- |1 V) z1 _4 Ibecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) F; J4 T0 f. b7 t% {% ?. Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

; H! Y. J4 Y3 [* ~& x3 lBENEFITS:
) ^) ^9 ]& W9 k2 b2 u+ kWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 k# X1 S) g! r& [5 E6 F: Uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% C% i7 u+ C7 ono stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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0 b2 m' e7 H+ R5 Dfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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0 r. {1 T2 `% W: K$ \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.