Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) W/ K' q$ @* @7 a  v% PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ ?9 g# x5 Q9 Z5 r/ ?, G8 \Long term, team players needed for challenging,

5 M/ {& X- U; u& G5 ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* S% |, B% I+ s. kand organizational skills and be willing to work
4 m7 d. d+ k: o/ |variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% x1 n7 u# W* n/ f9 t/ |/ pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  O/ O) q! J5 Z" o4 XTravel expenses not reimbursed.
  z# A9 H+ b$ f) RExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 f3 x: R0 e( U" I  |, h6 u6 I0 z. jThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 q3 B+ N0 g1 u* w, e' f% kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ X, p. f5 S5 h8 y; P, Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 ~' y4 ~9 O. Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 O) V) `! o- ]* OMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 F5 _9 T% p3 ^4 x& E4 T) nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# G) Q( \* u9 b0 \  K* zan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. R0 y* S- J! ?) Q+ S! h: Z: t. qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 x* `2 d, q' ~# A9 EMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
" H+ z6 \4 X% E5 N% {! |the quality of the end product.
/ |3 d" }% R, c! i8 c- fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; B0 Q! j# O+ x, c9 Ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, `  e/ b$ J' }$ ?' r0 ^; ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 t- d$ X' q2 }0 W" q- nNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
6 G7 L. \) U9 e( P" QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# n( j  |% i# P; K' KGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
% Y& n& T6 E0 r. w$ T3 V9 JWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. B- Z$ G: v) V: z# ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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' _  B3 ]6 u6 {  d2 d* oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! T6 n% h% l5 |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% M$ c0 k$ S+ ^( {no stock options are offered,
+ _  b0 v! z! ^" H  W& cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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: S3 t4 B( d( m4 I1 H2 Gfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 l( _& s+ \8 a- A1 W& hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ x$ }3 m0 z) Z% mletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ s& Y# U" `/ U' }7 \, P) }( Dor forward with love
' q* e! ~9 j. T. b9 {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.