Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! I6 h1 K( }& G+ N8 ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
' L" q7 n* p/ o  l  O+ H% l. `Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 W! r3 g  Q6 o# y- k4 f3 Q5 o+ ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; p, \7 n7 V) _! g8 M, y- BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" A+ e& v+ E8 r% ]RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ x) X/ Z- A  f1 A/ P) @* yThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- D% W, z1 p+ u4 C  Z/ Huntil someone needs $5.
; u. v6 V! G. ]+ I( X4 MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 o, j# E, ]) \  X! T# hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* ]  x" S* S$ O, ^: B; F3 q( JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. \2 n8 d" J( }/ gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! R8 p6 y' |7 u8 l2 ?and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 x; M# I- \% a) M# l+ `& [' Zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 _- R! H1 Q3 L" ~' ], nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ o; S# [7 U6 t9 T& jan embarrassment the next.
: H0 @* O7 R2 ]9 j# u! BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; d" a, z: P6 L& L/ \. a9 fMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 c; c* T: z0 e2 k+ r( Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 A  ?2 y' Q# TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 A5 F! {' ~. Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 j# j4 y. Q! H- V+ T( J7 o$ ucan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 h! G/ {5 R4 INone required, unfortunately.
" \1 l, R. I5 Q& u( Z* f% {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 M7 N! r: e8 {' J+ U' L8 F( b7 gWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 g/ n0 Y$ H9 cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 W5 z, S5 A* Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 D9 E  q" a+ n3 J& S0 d* wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
+ P8 {8 W0 K$ M! J% Z) RWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: s( n) G! Y, W- M. Y) dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% }9 ]1 F( L. eno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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0 b" A5 U  P" ?: q7 t1 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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# y2 y: D" [6 f: n4 T  w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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  o0 }4 N  C6 _6 U9 f; ^# SForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  I: x4 C6 S2 g4 a* y/ {for the fabulous job they do...
% n6 t: ~, s, ^/ k8 c8 ?8 Cor forward with love
$ c9 n6 t: d1 D, T, A9 E. K. r# R& yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.