Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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; _2 g) n/ \1 I9 _) t' p1 D: }JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 {, r% I  N( R. p" {' L3 mLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
( J7 Z; ~! Y! e0 V9 _and organizational skills and be willing to work
- L' {" u" t7 Q' dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' E6 v$ n+ b1 Gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% p. U: F& w% R1 n4 S' s: RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  {& `+ O; |1 L$ _9 p0 ~Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

+ G, Y( Y  a3 f1 h4 j( V' g1 W6 lRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. d$ U. P) D! ~' P( T; b# U* X1 @; B' \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 `9 I8 |) q) w0 n! O% z& g) \until someone needs $5.
, }% J" {/ j: V# c8 N% W& j. r4 MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) a+ L, v, i$ t8 R4 m' tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 D- }1 o$ R9 W( k4 S, L* G) y/ z, p1 [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 K7 ~. j" U# H, x1 B+ e1 |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
6 u# F  O$ A4 q. MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ [, Q7 m; E3 v) q3 H5 HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" n. I$ _. e: G& s9 `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& B* D5 h% i& z% u- L. C3 ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 ?" r0 F( [+ m7 O. H/ t4 _janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 m  X8 C4 e7 p8 _2 V) \- ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 h, o% q, P( h/ PNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: D) w( t* w+ H' o* j$ ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' P( t" w4 U8 C* \$ b; J; |can ultimately surpass you.

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0 D" `: M8 P' nPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 K# \! @+ S+ |; T. }" Z' RNone required, unfortunately.
- Z! e- l; U+ K; F( nOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 f% U  M6 k: V) X) JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ |' v0 X' m9 y: @$ e; R1 ]. g& }a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  P+ R/ j0 i/ [5 j6 pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ x% R8 I0 [4 P# p$ {When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 N0 A# _6 Q1 o- h( \5 WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( K( L8 o  u  |$ V/ o% Syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' T* ^, H4 g5 r4 {BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 z: f* N; `% @) u# Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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% J6 K2 o2 [. j4 _* y; s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- u3 @- h2 I/ W1 pForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.