Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- S3 I5 V5 j! eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


- H" W& ]9 c0 hJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 E6 U" D$ v# G" k" I, A; pLong term, team players needed for challenging,

' j. w. v7 d  ^2 q9 B: W$ U& B, Vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) o* z: p0 W8 m/ ^6 r3 ZCandidates must possess excellent communication
: Z& y/ R# @: G( b, _and organizational skills and be willing to work
, }$ P0 a1 D4 `) }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 U. i2 j) v; ^# r! }" j7 eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 S5 a" [: P+ k+ kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ J2 j5 L2 s0 U3 U2 Q- K* p$ ~% FTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 }9 ]8 Q1 {1 h6 wExtensive courier duties also required.
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! T! V! B8 p. B  v+ p) E& h" }9 tRESPONSIBILITIES:
! z2 w- H7 ~9 U1 `6 }The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 ^' U( p/ F" e/ Fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, t7 O( n) u# }1 j) wMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 Q+ B- H& m( v$ E& vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& A; u; N- ]5 N# {% ~an embarrassment the next.
& ~' `6 n* Q* Q1 |8 n; KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 s* ]: h$ \% V2 o4 H0 t3 ]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 j! ?' y. G% V7 x. h; _' D+ I7 JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 O( r* G: l- E! C7 fNone required, unfortunately.
' Z% U1 X9 }8 A2 p7 dOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 m4 l  g$ \8 d3 |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 _( s# x7 N5 ?. t5 {6 gGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# _/ q; ]4 ~3 O2 L& A& Vbecome financially independent.
+ R# b1 J$ B2 K5 }When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& \  v; u( O8 ~* N4 m8 ?5 x7 i9 OThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

2 H' R5 e2 r; {4 j8 H' k& ]BENEFITS:
/ I( |5 Z( l; U, W, |6 KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 R# P$ w8 I  C& ]$ U* {% Rno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& n' p9 b8 S5 Z- k8 m5 p0 D
for life if you play your cards right.
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. Z& |& Q5 |+ r6 z. Z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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' v% M" v1 N8 U0 u4 v/ w3 AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- o% K0 f* v) g1 @. Kor forward with love
' v5 o. B; T2 N8 d! `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.