Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! {5 m5 \0 q& U  T+ a5 m% ]* |$ MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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2 g# X# }8 f- a) m$ `+ pJOB DESCRIPTION:
) M! K: j4 c7 U8 z* ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

0 t7 _! E: I2 Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. I. L) p1 Y4 P: y& V0 C5 Yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  Q$ G! p0 l' p( zTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ j  f0 Q* c& C5 `Extensive courier duties also required.
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, ]7 H5 }$ S- R' Z8 Q3 bRESPONSIBILITIES:
- l9 f7 a1 R5 e( S- ^% ]9 XThe rest of your life.
, N& y) C& d2 ~5 \! \/ K4 tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) k: N# ?0 ~8 e; h! U; i8 oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; a7 X( N! \% q2 K& @  w* ?# land stuck zippers.
$ D& Y( Q) A# uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 P' V. F& }5 \7 X0 F" }- Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! n# I  \3 y* B* H, C( U  H8 a* ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 k- k/ K! r' A; D( z* san embarrassment the next.
4 g5 D) o! j* @/ Q  f9 ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ L4 w2 t) c. p( Phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, I0 w/ |  ~. o! u' mMust assume final, complete accountability for
, u1 n% d/ F; othe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 z: ?! I* n' f) e3 _9 U6 _janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 r0 [2 j* ?4 i( S; }! W0 k! `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 \0 Y' X$ f0 h& N  m* Ican ultimately surpass you.

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, @$ j5 ^; W# D& t& j6 _9 EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ W6 s* Z5 x: E3 P  ], @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 w7 ]* o5 k8 j& @5 tGet this! You pay them!
% |6 m& r# S8 L) X) ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
' q" z+ @8 G" f& Ubecome financially independent.
6 w1 D- |5 b# T: ^6 }5 M  [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% v' q; h! K# ^. c/ bThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( K% H- T. C+ O/ {* E9 zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
8 P9 p5 O$ C0 j& b3 X, ?While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 f, T8 k0 m' H3 N3 ^no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" k6 C2 {9 y7 c  N# u' @9 ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: S+ g2 @2 x: M( Ffor life if you play your cards right.


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3 W) i# u4 V% H+ P7 b" P- L. e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 l/ m/ [" e/ H, s/ Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 j1 k1 r7 I3 e. Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.