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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
9 E5 T0 u3 Q. f, k- E2 ^+ K+ y" C/ \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 8 \  W+ E2 M/ z5 }
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ I, N* i9 u2 X+ b; Q* A* J
2 x) m" T, f- E9 u7 aJOB DESCRIPTION:
5 N7 `0 U& L) M! }' m) a% }' |Long term, team players needed for challenging,' O% y$ [4 M7 C6 ?1 W+ B+ h

) n+ w9 M! J. Q$ \2 C9 Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. $ ~8 e/ Z( s2 d6 u. k+ z2 N
Candidates must possess excellent communication 9 Z% v8 x# M+ p; P" D2 P" k4 g
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ }6 _4 f: A, @' ?  z* Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ l4 U' q! q& Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. # |8 K3 b9 x1 N7 o. R  M. u
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& r! R( r# S7 {; c! |8 x9 Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 7 G# H1 {. |8 r/ ~( |
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ B) w9 o! S  j, M- z, LTravel expenses not reimbursed. ; y, J3 k3 I# \3 \
Extensive courier duties also required. ! Z4 Q' U. v6 [# ^7 q  h0 p

  A8 k: Y; B: ]- v1 U  FRESPONSIBILITIES:
0 A$ \- \2 i  ~* a* A5 }( AThe rest of your life.
/ L. N/ ~0 ?- {- ^# J$ Y9 i! o4 x% wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ; c5 d+ ~1 C. _' c
until someone needs $5. ( i; w- l, D( o5 e$ [2 \
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. , ?7 O1 x# A0 m& J# }' t
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule # @' ]+ J. l; b% c" |, W- \! }
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 j3 n. M3 V; w: M( a' fin case, this time, the screams from * K2 o, \9 O% K& V" O
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 5 _5 k: c' ^) \, H$ W) q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, * D" a$ G( a. W+ S- b
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) _+ v9 Y0 A6 l9 k7 {4 O! s% [( @' Aand stuck zippers.
" l% d( N5 \+ [6 m5 @% b% I& m: fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 3 e; q& C& {3 |
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 7 H( y! d. c8 p8 u4 f
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' [6 e  E" r) J1 J, PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" A( C: u! B3 R8 o8 uan embarrassment the next.
: C( f( p8 A# F. D  _) T1 q% rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a   ]6 l/ M5 M6 V" _
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; e8 G3 ?; a: j$ n; t8 X1 k4 i
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 6 w3 i( p% Z% y; c5 P
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) g# S2 i2 b+ k, r  N3 Z$ g4 s% bthe quality of the end product. " _- d8 J3 m& ~. A
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ! I+ D: K7 o; g- n6 p8 V+ `# a
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 O6 G4 J6 q; r+ ^# vNone. ' X: V5 F1 H" z$ ~
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 4 t; b* t5 t! ]8 b
without complaining,constantly retraining and 5 p: {  T& w; `+ E+ L
updating your skills, so that those in your charge " S: @! ~4 @& W2 e
can ultimately surpass you.; @" ~, S! q6 F
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0 ]$ J; q9 x8 h  r% Y3 Q5 O$ mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ! ^6 b1 t0 w! A& g9 O/ @8 H
None required, unfortunately. % H( v( F" ?3 w; |
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 \# P+ \9 l9 j$ c( q7 o% JWAGES AND COMPENSATION: ( i: _' c- X- y  {
Get this! You pay them!
2 J, D4 q0 C7 ^8 ~5 E& C) nOffering frequent raises and bonuses. - P8 W) @$ c4 k; D
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because . W6 t+ r& [0 z+ @* G
of the assumption that college will help them 5 }2 b5 Q) n% y* \. W1 r# n
become financially independent. 7 d1 R' d5 p) O, w9 p
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 O* B5 X  X% X  nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( u& }9 i: d5 s: _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ! `! ?. J5 J: i2 D+ s
1 B4 |6 m" E1 F
BENEFITS: ' t# ^2 ?; Q3 `( z6 h
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) r  f9 v) e. F+ x4 C; |- V: bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  j" x2 m- x% y+ s& \) \. J7 ~no stock options are offered,
) ]5 e! ~0 S2 k( Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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$ j$ H2 }3 K" r! e% e4 {' F$ ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ k- H# r) v) a& u, R1 y0 i1 S

- T4 }! \; q9 c; |* F3 o" Ufor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ w4 H4 _& t  x. F. c7 x  a* k2 L+ m! \8 r, `: h* R$ Z& I$ |
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 A5 {) Z& P; [/ I% Y& s3 L3 Eletting them know they are appreciated 4 |9 d# @" p3 e1 E! ^
for the fabulous job they do...
) o/ _( D. [+ v6 {. }" [or forward with love
  ~% U+ O3 G8 f( {/ U# P" S. I  wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.; \6 c" J( a/ I4 j$ |) |

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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