Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ |/ z1 L; I7 ^% e* {' _Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# ]0 @9 K* t6 T+ wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ [4 O3 N2 \/ i, P. X7 |: @8 [& TCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 a- |( J. q9 v0 v* rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' c, ~) k7 U+ {* v7 |6 k4 }and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! `" L' ]& ~' pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 i  c( ?+ T/ o  [  _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# g3 @* r5 r9 {! z6 w3 r8 QMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' b7 M1 G1 e$ U4 c& Q# F9 tAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( P% I, O- n4 J5 M% E/ \in case, this time, the screams from
' b  x% X$ O" S8 N) ]$ Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  q) ^, A+ S4 Z+ l& D; wMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, N4 y9 q8 ]# w9 h6 Zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% w9 K$ o, q. m9 {, [coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" [, x3 O% ]+ X* DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
3 e; M& q) W3 _& s* ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 ~- K8 a$ R, {) xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 I' E3 S* B( L: Q- Z2 sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! s6 ?% H7 z3 z3 C& ]/ S$ ENone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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+ L* z* c' T; kPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. f8 f% [. l: y. E7 Q/ K" k& aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 O1 ~* w6 w9 aOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) ?3 n6 w* K  y- c) d3 l& ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% T$ j- F' Z# i7 uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 d3 ^9 d  m/ v1 @( I& w$ KWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. X  C: X, b" n6 aBENEFITS:
+ E& F; c7 c; s" ]* HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" e! w6 ^7 W3 e7 Fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" q. S7 o4 M+ p+ Y3 I0 ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 C& L( n8 B, I6 R7 P; y% R  Eletting them know they are appreciated
' \) i0 S9 L  x. Z# m  w& Vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.