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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:. e2 B: k. j2 B% n( x
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 c, n- y: _7 T. g' RDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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! b4 T5 m& N( k+ @, Y# D5 x' bJOB DESCRIPTION:
  T. q0 g0 E* K: ^, `$ ILong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 o: Y) D! Z. o' O9 k5 c+ z5 i& [Candidates must possess excellent communication
% Z  z6 R7 r7 T# _5 c- i6 kand organizational skills and be willing to work ' n! |  s/ t; J5 K+ s4 z& l
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends . T& O* B* i5 w' }: D, u  G( d
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, D$ q5 _3 y& ~2 ^& Z- }! B' pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( n% [2 p/ ]1 D* D; }; Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: v" _  {' F# [: ~6 W: gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ m% N* i0 d" D5 G/ \4 |6 L2 kTravel expenses not reimbursed. ' p1 S' k5 u' a! t+ m! d4 m9 D% U7 i
Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 e# c% [$ O  z3 q7 u, W7 \9 ]RESPONSIBILITIES:$ x7 T$ y0 u2 x. [8 W
The rest of your life.
4 R& W2 [, L# r- V# l( e2 N  ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ K7 V. S/ e& Zuntil someone needs $5.
3 o9 b4 W! A, w6 [$ mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. " p% A0 q3 I! u# k
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 I, S) Z/ r" E. p( }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat   y" ~# ^! n3 K+ J) q
in case, this time, the screams from   d. C, v  J$ r
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ' T6 w, r1 v/ ^$ [( {' i/ U
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, . L0 n2 c/ {+ y$ i8 l
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 4 W! R7 y7 `  ]
and stuck zippers.
1 a! l" d; v1 W/ r  h2 pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 5 S! ^. n- |  u/ b! Q6 S; b
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; N( w5 M' U6 I( x% d9 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 2 J2 r1 t, K4 D& N
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, + b0 i# F; j6 a: y1 r: U+ k6 K) o0 p
an embarrassment the next. ) i: a- q$ S2 x) D: f2 `
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. k0 s/ g* f4 P2 R+ d: D. Ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ! z  o( ~% k0 s9 K9 C0 L( Q
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ U7 A$ q% p/ G& ^+ Z- U; O5 G' dMust assume final, complete accountability for
' w" d' b7 S/ q5 ?% v+ r" w, Zthe quality of the end product. ! z4 M% G0 d! B. `
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) }$ W+ }' g$ R! qjanitorial work  throughout the facility. . v2 x: m. g; w, T, J$ K

% s$ s0 X3 U5 K+ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:/ m+ @( G$ h8 Y! N4 @
None. 1 V; `9 O( i/ P0 k) I
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ; Q2 D  T) Y1 P& A" A
without complaining,constantly retraining and ' g2 u6 w  o. b: S! E- C
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 9 ]7 o. ]9 G7 m9 J  x
can ultimately surpass you.. @' R, m# K- s1 I

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4 y. |$ ?4 l* V  Q  b/ ^0 W7 O0 s- ZPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 6 m3 `) u7 R( X+ R
None required, unfortunately.
/ `+ t, V2 L7 {5 D2 X2 |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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2 f" i3 r  V) S. uWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 8 D" ~, H; l* x8 U% h- T6 E$ p
Get this! You pay them!
/ E* S4 `$ @  i1 ~, ~  W8 |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: e. I8 d2 t1 T* wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 5 U3 ~  i, }8 _- M! g( T
of the assumption that college will help them . s9 K) P) A, B5 n2 [$ h
become financially independent. 4 z2 a! ^! t4 ^
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! v& x) `7 f4 P$ ^2 g3 H8 j& J5 J* M) EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that + t5 O# ~1 \* K; k4 s) V5 }
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
0 {- p! S; D4 ?While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" o3 `9 Z  h2 i6 fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ' x# ]& `8 C- q1 H
no stock options are offered,9 {- E3 T& `2 U5 }
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 9 ]  {) N3 h, V; h* s
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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+ U2 r% Z/ U7 [. f& m7 {# @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **' s% q2 O! N. i/ ?7 N
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+ N( O. D: ^' s; i* a7 [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, p& Z3 y' Q  Wletting them know they are appreciated / S! ~5 r6 s8 T/ h! Q. }+ w
for the fabulous job they do...
# s* c) z; c3 @$ h. a! Vor forward with love
8 t$ X% \; q9 d7 T- l: A& v# h: p) Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.* ^. y: }" k1 a6 M
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
理袁律师事务所
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