 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 7 U# o4 q/ k$ B( W
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa4 _# g% m$ _! _7 m, X8 B& z
6 Y- y8 W- k6 S' [: C' s- h
0 k( @/ k! H* {- f7 N h
JOB DESCRIPTION:5 K% h7 P/ Z) ?4 z! j0 {
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
3 e q A2 i* b
' u9 y1 T) |: k1 @permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% @% b$ z) f& M; x: J2 h' P+ v& vCandidates must possess excellent communication
& z& a K7 U8 J! L1 _6 z wand organizational skills and be willing to work ; `$ k. i9 T1 ?/ l5 m& O: ~" @ `
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, t4 h4 K% a: c5 e% ?3 Iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 9 G) w+ b' l2 H
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. k) l5 e' X/ z' B9 \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 m6 i4 d/ l+ o) M3 Dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ v8 Y# S+ q% v2 t. B6 cTravel expenses not reimbursed. 7 W$ l! y, G- }: `; ?+ @
Extensive courier duties also required.
2 V$ ]6 f% F$ [2 G0 f
1 W$ ~; R# q$ k& ]0 oRESPONSIBILITIES:
L7 q' B) o* g5 sThe rest of your life.
+ a7 }2 J( S5 Q. YMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, , G4 F9 j- w- b4 A& D, E; h% } X
until someone needs $5. 9 x5 h' n$ i* Q8 G1 Q1 V! G+ f
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& a) R- b) z6 S7 M1 Z5 c8 WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 2 j ^! g1 i/ \5 h
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 g0 K9 A) g1 d J/ c) _: S) nin case, this time, the screams from - P4 J+ r' a" f- H1 m( x
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. , O6 E( N I& T) W m1 D9 j8 Q- q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 {9 f# k. ^+ Z5 osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 |8 K5 Q7 ]$ P- Q) p
and stuck zippers.
" k6 I# i9 c% ?# U0 WMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" [0 o3 I$ I& ~8 i4 e2 m* o7 s' Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ M* r& g1 b( ]Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 H2 P) v- k0 E& R7 }9 JMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 1 X. s2 G. y. ~, H7 l, h, e
an embarrassment the next. 9 F T! a" X+ @. ^# J
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 1 Y( |5 i; E" a2 d8 y, @' d
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 1 r, U% U* _' `( p- z; ~
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 7 A! P' }) e) J7 A" ]/ J
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) ]8 {) a" M+ q' d5 Xthe quality of the end product.
( Q8 y7 c) X' z8 V' u3 \+ qResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 3 A0 L7 V/ n: L7 h: m8 v
janitorial work throughout the facility. 1 Y% J) p/ @- g6 M
1 u$ Q8 G& [' \! jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:$ R$ H3 b( g: {9 _* S, f5 P7 V% W
None. 9 l3 w) w3 Y* h. d# S
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. k# @- A2 P& s4 @) t$ U, g) K7 Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* u" g9 i2 V1 {$ m2 supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
1 Y$ s) x% B) S* w" S5 U: [9 ~can ultimately surpass you.
( K8 F8 f$ {9 x9 g1 L: r
! w; V# L( L0 c1 h k/ w1 f4 H: [7 ]) G6 J. `0 o _0 y
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. k& o7 N$ I: A. o8 M; @. M( LNone required, unfortunately. + i, S6 T+ v# F9 F9 k( f5 G
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
! O1 ^, ~: L/ s6 d
0 ^- n+ Z+ c j$ O3 ]1 l# PWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 g5 g4 I+ |2 @% bGet this! You pay them! 5 p% W7 u% w7 s D- j: i# F3 z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 2 Y- O8 p0 Y+ [6 I* w8 L
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because * v3 I7 O, o1 O/ ^% ~5 `0 l, ~
of the assumption that college will help them % M, J1 B- l' O5 w1 _% }
become financially independent. & P& I6 Z9 Q8 R
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 3 v [8 X- u8 N7 k
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that , n+ g( J5 R% j" ?5 {' c
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. + @' t5 }4 p) f
6 ~ Z9 }; y: ^" J4 k& B, ~9 v* J
BENEFITS:
" V* K* y7 A: B4 m& y0 FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 9 O0 H1 P9 n6 K: E) z7 d
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: X5 d: C* b1 J9 Mno stock options are offered,
7 \, r- `- X* }3 R2 H- e, x8 ]: ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ }/ i' _; d* Q/ n" h& G
2 S9 f5 W3 j4 Q3 a/ m: Qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) y" c9 C1 [' [5 y- E" b
6 d- u& f3 R2 B( J4 ?for life if you play your cards right.
: C+ ?. F/ }' ]& W2 P' \$ v3 d" U3 ]7 J9 L- Z8 n: x
$ |/ C) S* H6 J- h m
. A/ I9 z# ?$ i2 P$ a7 }) M# v f' a' j" R
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **; m4 c; Y' e# ~ c+ Z
# L \1 I4 n0 J, ?- ]3 C$ Z* y 2 I! w! l( `4 P" Y4 i2 ]6 W% w9 S5 H
% [# Q5 h& D. p
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, " M* a7 f" G7 k% A/ }% g
letting them know they are appreciated
3 Z4 _4 B' I$ Y" E: ^& d0 Cfor the fabulous job they do... 4 x5 G8 o7 W7 h- M4 P+ G- ^
or forward with love 0 l, r' B/ [$ N( ~9 ^8 K
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.& U- |7 j( t+ T6 P* S1 d
: r% V1 O0 F6 Y2 \0 q' _) B% e: `
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
