Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 c* e5 U! c  f6 ~( `) pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ J. d, |: u, E# tDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ y3 R( ~9 d# M: {
+ U6 ]2 X& F, W; A* b! y
" F1 T! \6 j9 T7 _- bJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 z+ i  c+ L, l$ p6 ^2 pLong term, team players needed for challenging,
" `! K# c# |3 b4 L. ]  q
2 e1 ]4 X. N0 m2 M) C5 Wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% O- S' R2 {8 Z/ Q" RCandidates must possess excellent communication
* z, ^' H4 l6 i! Y2 d  oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 @4 B/ g6 C3 I8 I6 gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# x5 A& U) r' PExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; v. J4 ?; L  X% @$ k$ |until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% g9 F/ o9 ]+ M3 @+ V+ `& j1 IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, s% Z" Z. H4 N/ b. Sin case, this time, the screams from
; s- h* b( {' Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& v* V7 o3 T, m+ B8 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# w. n; d: w1 P0 G3 p! Cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ m0 ~4 I2 k0 n# U7 u- ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. ^3 v9 d! f! a  Z% C& R. lMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! @- y: @9 U& m) ^an embarrassment the next.
0 J. w6 y5 a! xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 ?0 [1 N( ~5 ^2 c6 l, P, qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ V  A" W4 V; C+ jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 X! F8 m. m: I" cMust assume final, complete accountability for
/ q' G2 c/ k( o8 u; D  [8 O3 Ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 R: |4 H# e3 pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

* [+ W( n2 e) l5 K& Y) D0 Q' e& OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! C. |+ v) V, ]2 a( xNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 W  Z. a) V$ k6 O$ E* j+ _without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) d# K3 I2 g( r. \$ h, A5 Hcan ultimately surpass you.
5 E, h& Q# q0 r" t
9 G6 |! X/ e& E! @9 d% ]: o
2 F! o% c& U2 g5 xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! i1 p$ t. F, ?& h7 T$ FNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ a' q2 ^" r+ ~" ]Get this! You pay them!
/ J9 o1 H" i+ }( u! hOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# d( P& B2 h) T! \, v4 O; ybecome financially independent.
5 Z5 Q* b$ @' lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 R1 l# ~) q4 D8 C0 `! m
  l7 U4 W4 a( n. b* y$ o; SBENEFITS:
( E. ~5 M2 x# IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" R8 p. g0 S" N" G0 rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 Z+ h2 [. j1 Ono stock options are offered,
; E6 A6 }8 C- A4 {1 h" E6 K% m) m, ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 x. }4 v; j/ w. ]6 w
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 s8 h% k7 f; @$ z
for life if you play your cards right.
; ~( X5 K( ?+ H: O. C, k! C: B

: I1 _! W+ y4 U2 J0 G5 [8 ~# h# D
& H4 R" K* b. z
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
. I& @' j& N9 g( p3 K
& y0 `5 `* C' R6 O" C& @2 ^) t

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" E5 ]& D  q1 ]( N8 Xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.