Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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% J- S6 R4 N5 F5 L6 UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# D; J4 R; j# `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
- ^+ H, O0 \" D- J9 g7 a- X. b0 b5 A! tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! c' z9 x+ w$ O. ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' ~# j3 i1 K7 wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 L1 d+ d; k% I" |5 P2 uThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. _: s# f5 W+ E0 W0 X+ N/ B( Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ Z$ S8 s% z# M- `' B1 Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, }6 z$ ?4 a# z+ }5 m$ N$ K5 cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 ^: d0 X" ~" M) u3 n' qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% Z5 H7 B0 ?2 _' w" Fan embarrassment the next.
% `. X- e& V0 D! G% S+ YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! m5 E; ^) u$ _% g* D( D' ^) Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ j% \* y$ @) c2 XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 l9 U' r8 X! t1 {0 x5 z, RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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$ W5 N. S/ Z) R5 Z- m  V- g9 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) [2 |1 E* `, F$ tcan ultimately surpass you.
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, v1 B/ n# Q* C8 L% _- a# d& ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 E  z1 p0 {  ]/ L9 GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
5 g& w1 m0 R. x' N- f0 G5 ^/ SOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 i1 r% x" ?/ S' P* ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 e, ]7 \1 m$ ~6 kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: B- }$ W- o% S' \" q: H, P) r+ ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ q; E! T& q$ `' |( S0 wBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ p2 j1 I. W1 G- ]- Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 Q7 c# u7 ~: r! x" F6 k! y" Dno stock options are offered,
2 n5 D0 O: j- p1 I' |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" w: R: r/ F$ Y; @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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: I  m5 J+ e6 v8 R2 P% U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
% A5 p: |& e: a0 a  I5 Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
9 l: `: u  o8 o9 tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.