Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  ?% s8 s. t' r( Y, V  e3 o: C: _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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% n' C8 g6 r2 }JOB DESCRIPTION:
7 g% n7 }0 w6 w  ^, \, W9 c7 YLong term, team players needed for challenging,

0 \3 w& B* y0 T2 Mpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- @. M6 V' u1 l' GCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 q: g# o1 ?) vand organizational skills and be willing to work
3 R, \$ G. R( u8 h, H! ?( ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* a  r, o% R; {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  J5 \" G& `  r8 c6 b0 D. D5 w3 eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 u- E' P8 o1 ?* Q! e; ^) CTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 i5 P* ]& {& E: o. e" L4 quntil someone needs $5.
3 {1 H- \$ l+ |) }4 {3 d0 WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 y+ t" {7 g- uand stuck zippers.
  [3 _3 `0 {& ?' E* ]: a/ X) uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 t3 ]) y4 Z% L5 Ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* ~" T5 O% x6 Z6 R1 l9 H& ?: ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, m/ p! [2 n: Y$ GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; l  J4 q; m8 N. }9 Y, [Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 V  |- Z' B3 f8 z- h# c7 C2 F8 Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. F' y) M" |  c/ Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
& j2 `( `* b: W! mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- A3 M5 v! U9 `4 d# E4 TNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 ~$ u. y  k/ q& p3 G# Q2 \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 z9 Y5 G  t; T4 e( ]a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! ?8 p+ H8 l) o) Sof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 _4 b" ~! _$ P% W' g( h# e' \The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

( m0 h6 V- [1 Y, p2 p2 XBENEFITS:
- R; z& X: p* W( T! }7 VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 i6 a& r" I( q0 p5 _no stock options are offered,
) P1 g) M! ?  \) J7 W# N6 Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

& O8 O6 L/ r4 K$ E1 |unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 f1 x8 ~% n, S7 n" p+ tfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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3 k# S9 l1 T% o' H% }
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" E- X7 Z0 V  C3 tletting them know they are appreciated
/ x* z9 ]' j& W. U4 u1 [( D1 w% nfor the fabulous job they do...
( K. R4 V4 ~! D1 K' q' q$ G% N$ Jor forward with love
8 D6 j9 o& e" c1 L/ Q" h# lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.