Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# u5 V" \( O6 t) RMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. o- a# \* u% b6 L$ Y4 mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ @& @1 {) H. e2 t" fCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 N4 k( B0 o! K1 A$ LSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, Z, S9 f0 t8 D( T6 @! c6 I1 oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" V  B, h) F; Y; X" ]4 n  eExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
. n9 A3 I! e3 ~2 H% c4 {The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# ~9 @6 @/ @+ ]until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" o3 @5 d, l" D: A9 p0 v7 rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" G! H9 I8 N+ O6 p1 yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" V1 ?# H2 x% GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 E" f* l( k0 M% w! ]7 ~' Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! _) h8 L3 B  N* }8 e) aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  G8 a5 M0 A5 k; |) E: I+ Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. c# G" J9 k6 {" X$ c( K, f4 q' O$ HMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 I) g7 M$ R) z/ \+ G: bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 P2 e; b+ T1 N1 ]8 t9 c  {) \None.
0 j) e( V! p2 r- p0 _8 SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 z8 D3 t9 d3 O1 {& ^can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 `: u& k8 \: c" eNone required, unfortunately.
" t  n& Z' ?0 ^8 ^6 m+ ROn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( n, f# Y0 O1 o2 pGet this! You pay them!
! K" P, g& v6 |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 S' V' l' z) l% U) U* S: v& ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
' K5 B; |: U5 b! j, r) h( Abecome financially independent.
3 M  k/ }! Y' a6 _. P. yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; C4 @& x; ?; u; W& O8 o8 Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

; U8 f' ^2 [9 S% s; i2 f* C5 RBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 Z+ ?" `9 f2 b+ C) U8 Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
, x6 z  x0 N& w# Z: pfor the fabulous job they do...
3 C, [7 a3 I/ h( j$ ?# b# Sor forward with love
! _! l& H! G; P$ J, i( Ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.