Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
) q2 X- N. {, c  BLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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% ~' o% g4 h. }) S. w& Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 j& ]+ u/ n1 mCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ F% Z! Q6 r) Z" d+ Kand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 E( z+ n2 H0 s( W8 Evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) m. A4 D& A- g0 }% Q% l9 ~- F; kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
. u6 D1 X' ?7 W3 _primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 N1 s% ^' |3 A1 _4 bTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& u1 C; V, }( j& }5 IExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
: L9 o7 W; G% }* a2 LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, S% v! N3 w  ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 t' Y$ `. I' v. J; [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 q, _7 X  q+ l4 W# hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  x0 s6 X4 B7 S2 M; t0 c" UMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 t) {2 L4 E7 F+ ^8 D+ s7 l! ?such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 ?4 Y  Z  F1 m: V; y/ \and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  w! }, L6 m0 C6 Z& G3 j* c- V1 Mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
, ~1 D+ I7 k' c1 q: \+ ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* d2 L& @) B, X: E3 khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ p2 t' m' p0 |  M9 W& ^Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

. E& L! X  L) N: j% N; IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 k. |9 Q$ ~( s$ qNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 b4 g. L! n0 u, e5 i! Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 i" J! Q8 u6 C  N/ g6 W" `None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 n2 Y3 A) u$ t/ FWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
% N6 R# x+ R0 ~' iOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 \: M( y/ c' K2 o; Tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  H9 p% }! \4 t9 |' r' L4 l. u2 cThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' J9 ^# t  ~5 P' O9 Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' s2 }* e$ o, a6 x7 Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 _; x8 z" T4 s9 p3 b1 l! Pno stock options are offered,
9 D- q* L# j6 B5 h9 Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* j4 ]1 R# P8 M7 b3 x8 M$ g
, o  Z* H/ z4 k. x3 afor life if you play your cards right.
8 i8 @2 Z$ Z. c
! {' Z& ]9 k% b5 v. r
0 c1 C# `$ _& m% c$ e; r9 ^! w! [
( A0 P6 a1 Q% |( N. i. f" E
# M; [( w2 {1 ^1 w! b" `' ^* ]7 \7 @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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- n/ {0 T6 I, h4 ]" MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

  d4 q$ }" |& ~6 T. ?* t

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.