Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' J+ \' i( K4 d0 y; dMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( B" P* W- }9 t; \6 @. ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 z( k0 p4 j4 K  j7 T. G, iLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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: a6 O7 z2 D  [' U$ tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: Z9 f; k' E1 U7 ICandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  v) Z4 {! M# q) v! I4 N$ Z$ Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 Z" K! b: k3 t9 a# v7 JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* v1 b4 `1 R( O2 hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  H& d/ }3 N8 S% vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 ]4 k9 i: v: ~0 Z4 s' y: x5 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  [3 J* i6 |, }; L/ c3 P6 Funtil someone needs $5.
$ m6 |# z* n& h+ M4 _, l/ T4 r  zMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  Q0 |$ I) m. H, XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 D3 z) G6 U  B2 S: i' ?" Oin case, this time, the screams from
6 W  `& G5 ^* w1 g7 f8 K+ j' u& Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 s- M3 l; x6 |: O4 fMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' E* p! ?+ T, p7 A6 fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: E+ L: W, C  n+ ?2 ]) z( Q; zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 V, u7 \6 y+ ?, b( a. A' P% Mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, x* b! v: G! tan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 L7 z* T( a! i4 M( PMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- D/ @) R: D, G/ ~Must assume final, complete accountability for
! e; s: p9 {- G% X# M( ^: n. Lthe quality of the end product.
* k: z- W2 ?& ~: m; QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 Y4 F3 z4 _! XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 u! U& q2 g* B$ D, F* XNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 ]/ d4 D% D" ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ W, ?# U' t/ Bcan ultimately surpass you.
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1 U# j, H( ^/ u! c$ A5 FPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, @- ~, G$ C6 r4 H9 K, y2 L" Uof the assumption that college will help them
7 P3 n/ h/ }2 ?$ f5 [( U7 \* jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- @0 C: A1 e$ x" s8 n) BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) b$ j  _, k* u& g  _3 {. J% A# ^no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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& x$ a1 p% X- M* J( Y( Afor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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# o* l8 |0 h! ?+ I2 ?Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 M- b2 w( ^$ B& k# t$ m. eletting them know they are appreciated
# [5 d/ s3 F& W. zfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# U; W3 @: y; b# P, Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.