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# n5 y+ }) Z: {: L2 c* q6 HMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( H/ T, {% C3 s2 h; f( LDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:! M/ u- t" G2 t) v# H- ~2 D+ b
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# q4 w9 E- i0 b/ I. N
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 5 C, o8 s) F- y9 a! I) B
Candidates must possess excellent communication 3 U8 w6 T9 d( {4 S
and organizational skills and be willing to work 1 z6 r5 ^* L: R& r0 T9 d
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends * N1 v* t _/ N( _- g0 ^
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 2 U, ?7 I4 l% T1 Q
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 X g( E1 i! i7 O; w/ Eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 y& |. R! m9 D, Y t* z r; \% Nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' o6 j) o% g! P" Z" ^. f( T$ ], KTravel expenses not reimbursed. 6 P# i2 z; U4 M) y" \
Extensive courier duties also required. Q ]6 M7 u. k9 t7 k, q4 c
/ q; Z; }4 t$ [$ O# ^1 W; DRESPONSIBILITIES:( P0 D+ L- u9 u
The rest of your life. / l, L9 i0 B6 s7 ?- @ U: q
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, & C! g/ ], F- T
until someone needs $5. 9 O) O6 m" H) C! H! n/ n! i) r
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 K9 F' o( k; j6 YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule . L; V" ~8 o* f7 R0 T
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! |4 U: |8 N: s3 s! A& O/ Rin case, this time, the screams from
% Y6 k1 R$ L0 X5 [% H8 [the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 1 n v# x! @" f3 }+ b
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' |* C# m+ N# Q C$ e
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ( z1 j! G. ^8 v' H/ t6 d
and stuck zippers. 0 Q$ G. [8 K( G3 {; h( A& a
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- D: p! D$ ~9 E3 Y2 pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ T$ I, Q9 }4 U4 B- A1 \/ BMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. % r2 g3 a+ }5 o" _
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 `6 t: A2 y. r9 {an embarrassment the next. ' ?: ]! [5 W. f" I9 L! _
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, h: W7 a U2 l( X6 W! M8 _7 ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% @$ z) O; j% o' w; K9 l' x; E3 DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + F- Y% z: S' b9 K$ p
Must assume final, complete accountability for 8 g. k+ D' n- h$ W$ [0 _
the quality of the end product. , l3 R5 _( e$ d8 V
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
Z4 k& W4 M. njanitorial work throughout the facility.
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+ N$ l) w8 c* \4 SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:' ] u" u/ M% G) H
None.
* |# F2 J: H/ ~, J/ s1 Q- KYour job is to remain in the same position for years, , |) {3 J$ e% z5 X1 `; Q
without complaining,constantly retraining and E2 K& U) P, G
updating your skills, so that those in your charge % J' K+ [5 z+ V _# M# o
can ultimately surpass you.
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* r# E9 ^! Z% T! T8 CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 o: Y1 U$ E' e, W$ W% O( _) xNone required, unfortunately.
, ~! M, l# N, I+ QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 9 a' M2 F, {4 X4 y- m
( V0 D! h) g; J- H; k& gWAGES AND COMPENSATION: C8 M# \/ a9 x( N% e
Get this! You pay them! " L7 j* Y4 |8 T8 r2 g* e
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 ~$ N8 l" Q9 ?- H0 \3 e! H: \; wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because + o) p- ]8 A! P3 c: ^+ b
of the assumption that college will help them ; @$ P! Y7 z$ h, L
become financially independent. 2 ?9 V" m6 O0 G4 \9 q8 M+ k% a
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
c4 y4 w5 f- R" O$ I6 H ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, g1 C' O: l* `/ v+ ^9 i( `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. # n4 [5 R" Y: B- }/ Y) }6 U
4 r: h7 J W$ A" zBENEFITS: ! E# ?' F$ i7 p3 b, ~
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 5 Q7 L" Z% g" Q7 D$ L( B
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ! _/ T* `8 d- T) V9 w
no stock options are offered,
) j' x% t- H( ]1 R+ rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 V$ P" b% C/ n; y; i# _ Q8 O; d
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.( w {" l4 y9 X5 z# f8 V! ~% ?
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/ c: w+ i+ X3 P# q% b# q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" Y* S; R( \0 A# {$ l( U0 R( n0 s% RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! K) D7 _* h; zletting them know they are appreciated
1 G3 x0 s7 l. {3 c W2 U V" F- w0 Yfor the fabulous job they do... ( f3 a5 w2 y; o0 [! I- K4 E" L
or forward with love 8 v+ x! b0 W* [/ O
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.9 R' P; r0 p9 y D
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
