Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 \8 G( T/ {! }3 {( q, CMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 e' y8 H5 t1 N; aLong term, team players needed for challenging,
% x" O5 e" Z+ c. a+ n  X6 @
: r2 \" ~5 H) F. w2 O7 e2 V9 v5 z  Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
9 e6 G  T4 z3 p! p9 iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. a4 f+ d  N# G4 `. F- _) G' aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# _2 |! S, S5 e: b; VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- }, B# q% V! }- k& C2 G# T( ]; zExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
. T6 U& y, ?( m4 S. u8 c& oThe rest of your life.
1 A7 c9 K* K% ^' q0 @$ ]" z- QMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
8 I; Y) x( [& C% EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 W1 j) v7 _; Hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" x% t( L; v: n7 B. a' fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 X* t+ I/ O% U, ^5 @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: i  U: L/ {( K, z' Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 G6 |6 m! n; fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# Z. s9 Z" r% R' J& M0 Ian embarrassment the next.
" f8 T  ~. P- d5 U( HMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# u  R3 C/ T& y& h3 vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 n9 d/ Q, R% T; e2 W- y: b- i& ~2 S1 iMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 ^/ c8 ?, x# @% n* e. Q3 [- q4 |2 K2 Athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 S0 ?' G3 G3 Y: D. g( ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.

# b$ ?6 c1 `( A+ @/ t' X* I) E; _0 BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  ]) a' K/ J* J! t3 n/ V- OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
! Z5 c# }7 G8 i% ]6 a4 ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
! o/ I5 R$ J5 ]# D0 R& N% {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  v( D* f4 J# u% A- wcan ultimately surpass you.


" ?4 u: w# b& ~* CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 h6 \# a, x9 }# aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
  C8 j4 {! N2 H3 uOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 ]- Y. z* S$ D9 x+ u6 e6 ?of the assumption that college will help them
7 a$ G- n0 y1 w/ x( E' i! a) \become financially independent.
- Q4 k  u5 m' v& AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 ]3 t4 M" o* o, {, d8 l1 nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 \) C: N/ I& `: j! Uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ R, D9 Y/ G) R0 d) e: _no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
  v2 ^' g9 l* a) {; ]: `' `
" O$ l9 c! M5 Q! Wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
& @- m" ], z) y6 J& ?for the fabulous job they do...
: [3 q( E% ]$ _8 v: G" p7 Gor forward with love
* Q/ {/ A* y( C! W" j- s, uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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7 \9 M5 b( G* R

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.