 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 i* ?/ q4 Y2 j3 NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ w9 l+ }% { y; T$ b, u/ QJOB DESCRIPTION:
$ s1 A1 h. D8 M! HLong term, team players needed for challenging,1 S! ]0 b# G/ t
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 4 M: `$ |- O j
Candidates must possess excellent communication ; G6 D2 T6 ^9 u7 h/ m( }( H; n
and organizational skills and be willing to work : w! s9 P7 K1 r( o) b- [; o! A
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* j/ D* }: j# t2 m& E1 Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. . s+ |$ d# S' Y/ o/ {: d* ]) i8 ]% c
Some overnight travel required, including trips to , |/ b6 u) ]0 q- v% ~/ @# M6 H: M6 {
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 1 z) B& C& W; v% I
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 3 r4 w: N# H; Y4 g
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ! N" U. P# o2 [
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) m7 o' d# e7 PThe rest of your life.
6 ^# _/ Q; z: W2 q# ]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 1 x O) w# b* \6 W/ { {0 s; k) I
until someone needs $5. 3 J, w$ ^/ N5 ~% e6 ~3 n8 N
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 1 G$ K7 T% C; u
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule d. X# }! L7 R$ I/ L
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 c7 L; \9 i8 q3 w% R0 h. win case, this time, the screams from
# B c4 P2 _ l6 b! f3 a7 M( V othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. # S& \' K7 J3 }& H3 W/ H# W5 o
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 l& }* `/ B0 Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets " _ W! z* j6 `) C7 J
and stuck zippers.
/ h7 f9 y# v- \0 g3 G2 sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 U9 e" u" Y/ }; Jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 b+ l& }9 x$ ^+ A. sMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ Y: j8 |: [, b5 w# E+ xMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, - [9 L1 }5 `% f, ^0 [) s* u) y( K
an embarrassment the next. 7 A/ Q/ `2 H0 m/ n0 g
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 9 D' B N4 E& _% Z! r3 D
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; c/ u+ d% G' E% L' y
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ j1 G0 O9 x; C: h8 m% E$ p4 w2 lMust assume final, complete accountability for 8 _6 W" G2 d% b: x
the quality of the end product. 1 v% g7 Y4 Y: H5 _" A' K4 W+ i% `
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 8 G# U) Z, ~; r X7 N0 Q0 i6 Y
janitorial work throughout the facility. / _/ v6 W4 h2 m, O
j. A5 Z! d# yPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
d" ]% D [, \, J. B' PNone.
9 i4 T6 U1 _$ X- J1 Y4 f0 OYour job is to remain in the same position for years, # T3 J2 J+ Q6 H: g1 h6 L
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 W& i9 O/ m8 L# e0 \' Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
! T% K- E+ r& o2 `6 [9 Scan ultimately surpass you.+ T: O: c# L- `
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+ L7 |: q# s9 N2 l4 x" v+ w! {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' V: x: C" \& V/ i) O7 ~None required, unfortunately.
) H/ @ W- X5 q0 }# COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. " l4 s1 r6 _; C) w) ?% I% [5 k! M
) s+ s7 A) z4 d1 m/ |; \, s/ UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 t$ k, m3 m# H5 W7 c2 O) pGet this! You pay them!
. g7 l7 B- \# m/ N Y# m7 _Offering frequent raises and bonuses. / }3 A2 Q- X1 Z# |/ y. l7 v
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ) D! q: T; `' ]2 E$ W2 x+ j* C8 r
of the assumption that college will help them ( g' G* e0 H+ R6 w/ ~& w9 l/ Z
become financially independent.
) O: @: w$ U4 }' BWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 2 I! o8 }1 A( R- m8 X, C" B* Q* S
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% q6 B2 i8 G+ B+ Z2 D3 K3 N- Nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. & e) p8 g& R* Q1 G L
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BENEFITS: : S+ {' w: f# l, Y% z* G
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ) h9 A V2 T3 H9 y
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 3 j* \/ u+ X) j! D
no stock options are offered,
1 @0 ^9 F& e9 o, w. k+ ~this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % a) D0 f$ R- H
) l; K; h' C( m3 v) u9 Y# l zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 x, h/ V, K' _* qfor life if you play your cards right.8 E3 f- a, K: W
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **. f& k( g1 J! a; a
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; ^- @. K! `/ {# l. \8 FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, + m/ l/ T" C( ^0 J
letting them know they are appreciated
f; `& Q/ i* ~1 mfor the fabulous job they do... 2 O& A& @( p% K# J# c" I* C, I
or forward with love
3 c3 Y) U6 Y5 I" t1 ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
