Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ E8 m1 F* S( ^8 A' BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

- B! s; n9 Y" V6 |, F; c
; f$ V! |+ B' B/ M- ]' eJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
( c5 \8 w8 w& Q+ k' r5 ^& ^
) K7 y/ Z7 Z1 t# i& P" _4 F! Q% rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& m% N% N/ N/ p/ f( @6 r( Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  r/ v0 `8 S1 M" \3 Iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! K% n3 O  ~% d* I7 `' v$ S* m1 CSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 g- y' `) H6 L. Sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
% _6 q' m! q5 P0 O$ Q8 B/ d2 Y
RESPONSIBILITIES:
# l( V8 A+ d1 m; ]$ [. R$ e3 mThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 H4 s# b/ Q* yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* c% ~- T8 N" O2 b+ A- {% ^6 D* k  Fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ t  v3 p9 H1 N5 J3 l) v0 Cin case, this time, the screams from
& _8 l" A: w! d. ]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% }5 {6 A7 G4 G6 v" i9 R. mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 D! x; E' R0 J8 I0 I6 Iand stuck zippers.
$ i* u: L) A$ z7 m+ J! xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; F8 ?; q# n  ~2 A; fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ @7 u0 v! w& S# Q: XMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ S* b+ K6 @$ h+ Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# f/ \1 J/ R- U1 w7 g3 R) b& Vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
1 d( X  L% q/ x7 K
1 {1 y1 t; m3 F9 Y6 b/ LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. h  Y2 S% }" c. S9 bNone.
. S. H. `8 n: q/ ^$ L6 \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 U3 s" Z3 n* G( Z+ v# M' J1 k* Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

& U- V+ l0 h+ S5 [" S3 W* F% F, W- s
$ D5 X# n& k' fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 @) n3 o4 t4 z% P5 pNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
$ T) N- p, q5 b- b, M& o
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) H+ {2 t7 ^- }/ c" u: lGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* b6 l, G! q' m* u% l; P7 @! Q' zof the assumption that college will help them
9 y3 j3 _0 l2 l7 }2 {" Abecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" I& Z/ y% ?1 Q. ?* t+ H, iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
( b2 j6 P) N& K9 ~( B/ yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# G0 T: c5 [' X& J8 \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
$ Z, G2 _' }& P9 u! L1 r) gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) D' {* o& A. V/ Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  |3 \% p% l4 lfor life if you play your cards right.
, e* u) I, D2 P  f8 v$ X


6 N9 A  @- G" \7 |3 b) g8 _6 a) k! m5 N
" [8 w+ Q. h  k% X" X& ?3 }8 ]! K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


( ~& G! {/ S; Q" O0 z0 k1 r
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 n8 v9 ]7 o1 n2 u& ^/ ~2 Iletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
, t- O+ `. D' V* H6 p$ D% Nor forward with love
# a4 w. L* O/ t$ i$ o/ d) U2 gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
5 e1 A2 o/ c8 O6 M" d

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.