Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 f! ?. P" v: H6 {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


, r5 }8 l5 P8 F& [" k$ C2 u* A9 dJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

& f% M) W" ]- S/ h( f& H5 X. F& tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& c" _7 @# Y, ?4 I4 q7 F4 ]Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* e1 ^% E8 u. n, l2 P: h) tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( N2 S- w6 E; a2 ~- F1 ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& w+ N) X: e8 cuntil someone needs $5.
3 ^% ?/ N8 o9 p7 C$ c2 G0 qMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ U# R& @: `3 ?$ i. j3 {9 g1 p- x- m9 Yin case, this time, the screams from
$ O6 Q( {, ~5 a/ hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: n- X* e" K! msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
7 R7 j" \1 o/ R1 B# f+ j; H6 OMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* _. c" g: J/ }  T" S! nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 A( \/ o2 m$ d4 u% A5 j- B, z! l$ L% [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 s/ |/ n$ [6 n+ R  g; n! iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 ?1 m' F* H9 AResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
. k5 N" y2 c2 ~. \; n
% {  w2 K" ~7 \- B8 {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) w; v0 W$ |0 l6 J; d2 W- W: awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
  M8 v8 ]9 k. T, ?5 `0 o

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ F6 T5 }8 |& A3 l- XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

" n; i4 b, n- U: ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  Y( C, e3 e1 Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, j4 `  _3 s$ i. h* `9 t7 eof the assumption that college will help them
) o8 A  H. z3 ^9 kbecome financially independent.
7 d$ Y; B( k) I6 h4 oWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

& N* O# P# h, F6 X& d- |BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" |7 H# ]* U1 [1 Z9 x& o# Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 `9 w: R+ i) B- N$ e" G" d4 G: l0 v
) b# }, t0 H/ D2 l' \: O7 Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



" v* S" }0 U. D9 r1 x9 _0 c
! E4 C# g' b! `4 M/ D/ `5 ^7 o' [: u6 M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

( C6 _" x4 t0 k
6 y0 F) m8 f; }# i5 V! O
% m- r+ o: {* q" U) UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 H3 d6 a" j2 g/ k) @( Hletting them know they are appreciated
1 f. n3 I, j7 b% D7 H$ J' jfor the fabulous job they do...
, P4 K5 ?6 p/ }$ s; V: Bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
0 Q1 A% l+ `. C! l( C$ o

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.