Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 K  k% E" H5 k8 z1 j1 Q2 k: tDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


8 X/ J3 p" A. |2 n3 t, ?; XJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 c! w7 o6 G# z) a: J% fLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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6 g1 T$ C! J- C6 |0 Z% Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 f& m/ A7 u4 @% eCandidates must possess excellent communication
8 T% b) L7 q+ a. \5 j" I0 dand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 N! H5 f6 [5 b9 Y4 ~; _Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# S6 W; X" L& Z5 n+ t8 t4 ^: Iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" J5 _4 J( z" |8 t6 ^8 DExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 v7 u. b& o% V% X9 I4 X0 p3 Y( uMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ R4 B  d8 P7 |% `3 x1 B  Guntil someone needs $5.
# B* v2 N- c& Z) f1 n$ GMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ C/ q6 e! s5 r. IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- o4 }+ L- v. y. F. G7 J; J" qand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! |" O( T# w# V$ f. P* A: Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, \# k! t: l- s8 ~, S! wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
8 b3 C8 j( C" [' Z8 kMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- y4 k7 ?# u. Z! t' ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 d) d& I9 t+ p( U$ Ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 H) p+ R* k" y9 UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
8 c* V+ H: \- `- F+ K/ q0 C/ Z

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ D" s0 {4 B( sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' Y8 ?0 H8 p# _1 q5 M1 {$ b2 O4 \2 p. qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 C4 N  ^) F; S  YGet this! You pay them!
) ^. ~  P4 m  }, ^' x  j/ YOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& v% H/ l  k, `% qof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( w( Q: }: b( O% H6 S2 u7 cThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. _' U# W' I: A* Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* L' y  B0 Q! R! Z3 Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; W  E/ `: u9 R6 a! q5 L3 V4 E" `no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
7 ], @3 z1 F# w
4 d3 n; J* m; l& funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

+ O6 M# z( T1 C" n# E+ O% c0 efor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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5 b" N. r- }! q, G0 W$ x( q
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% U* `$ A3 _* X5 |letting them know they are appreciated
. ^, k( q- r% Efor the fabulous job they do...
* G) w1 g6 n" h' O/ I# mor forward with love
0 c+ \* m9 j3 l7 N/ _' X$ k- u2 Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.