 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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 POSITION:5 p! K) }* |9 d5 |; R
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
a5 u0 B9 z* D0 @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:1 g+ x; O# j6 s
Long term, team players needed for challenging,5 k% n$ h+ }- u& V7 G
2 o; |, I; f* S. h# Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment. ! Y* M f4 A; \) R, O# ?5 S
Candidates must possess excellent communication - Q& t. ?8 x( `+ x8 d$ ?
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 V: k1 X' j4 S% A5 l$ Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends % E( ^ u3 C1 }+ A2 j) U" y* K& F5 ]
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 L9 q; E& q7 n6 wSome overnight travel required, including trips to 8 |+ w! c \9 ] p+ N' `
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and A5 J& m6 b3 b( g j g3 V
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% ~% x# g" [: D# E% OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 [8 s* Q. m0 `% d) wExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:- [" W! y+ l; B$ ?
The rest of your life.
' c+ _( ^" l% ^4 }' AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, % L1 M. s5 l- S* x3 g
until someone needs $5.
! {( \# x3 v& c# \* f9 eMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. : E6 P. | f M% h/ T+ X% ^, o
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 2 e7 h3 S; F; W, R/ ^$ i
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ I# ~5 D. j: {1 }in case, this time, the screams from
, \' K0 N0 S- j5 Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 8 L( u. U t- `; o9 z
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, - u7 U: H; h" m2 _
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 r$ _& U* R: u8 A: I, zand stuck zippers. ; X* e% {9 k" C
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* q2 @) u$ }! y5 Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects. + @, D9 N9 i. u6 e! ~
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. # o; Y! M& t1 i
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' j( L8 W3 B5 M8 gan embarrassment the next. / U$ f# {! t! ?
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' b- S" I/ b6 x- thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. . P5 ^, y) R. { R/ W# T
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 1 m/ k. F2 H+ |7 D3 ?
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 C) p( w) j8 m' B+ z4 A) nthe quality of the end product.
5 ?+ k! W- [3 T; @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ( ~) _$ D- `$ A# `' R8 F- _% F/ G, T
janitorial work throughout the facility. 8 a6 X" X! N5 |# A$ q9 W& s; R. d
7 i, W* Z. J q: M5 H3 OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 m- D0 s+ N1 m) b4 bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and / a4 k `, a$ a: y
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, }4 y. G' Z! d! D6 F, d. vcan ultimately surpass you.+ n, O" b, w' a! Q$ m* U Y3 F. B. \; D
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: V9 j7 B- B [. t' c. J8 {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ C- o7 G- n- S$ P7 f! mNone required, unfortunately. $ ~0 O; z3 w$ k2 @
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) n. C' f9 s1 K, c4 XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 U( N$ l; b6 p( v6 P/ n, ]- [# EGet this! You pay them!
+ b1 U0 h2 o5 M# |1 T. R. O# rOffering frequent raises and bonuses. * v x j0 Y/ J" R- U7 z0 z) ^# ]+ A
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; u$ j! t' G5 Z: s" ?3 Eof the assumption that college will help them " ^" I4 p6 h5 b9 Y
become financially independent. }3 R; w+ h; E0 b4 y
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 e/ k& N. j" G4 A! c. G( x jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( N9 U% D) y8 T" i# _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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) f2 Y8 ?, a# b/ j, f8 P7 D8 BBENEFITS: , Z5 K4 C Z& a: w# j. |+ k# M6 X
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) ]# Y; f \ X/ Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 6 H8 s J1 i0 c; F% f; K
no stock options are offered,2 n: X2 L0 |' o
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, , v0 ^8 U3 ]; S$ q
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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1 y6 d5 Y- C: J/ j. k8 D& h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 n& @ A! ]5 d7 d4 Rletting them know they are appreciated
4 _3 P+ V& m: lfor the fabulous job they do... 1 h6 X0 U# G; ?% {: P7 [1 t
or forward with love : a) @( e! c1 G* `/ L" o
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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