 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; ~1 y2 I" }$ S; H: H6 sDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:" |+ F/ ]# `/ y& N f! x8 S
Long term, team players needed for challenging,% A- F5 i3 o& U- d
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) A5 A; m& r; B8 b, GCandidates must possess excellent communication
2 c6 ~& e4 Q4 L* T+ h% x/ Aand organizational skills and be willing to work $ ?* M& S; |' Z% X! z
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( n G# l y0 {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 3 g) f5 `/ a2 A4 H
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 1 f- `/ m) m. Q' v2 i% _8 c
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- ]% }4 F) Q& L; X! A. t" X$ [endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
d( k% i+ W) PTravel expenses not reimbursed. * M7 U* U8 v4 p! {+ h1 ~, p; D# J, o
Extensive courier duties also required.
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- R; Y+ M5 ^% ]- ~) U$ n3 |. WRESPONSIBILITIES:
- z) A8 A3 A+ w8 y" B2 l8 }The rest of your life.
- K. b# x8 ]( M4 N8 lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ( c: ]% O: R1 I$ s
until someone needs $5. % b% a0 k$ P2 v, V) G
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 1 }6 p) e5 F5 w+ H& D
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule . R6 n( B$ _& p/ S( K. ^
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat * j5 { W$ @# A% T
in case, this time, the screams from
' x; m. o6 C' g: Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 4 x% `3 n' G; [- ^' o
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 1 X9 k7 ]+ e- |* T7 B
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' y% H* a+ g/ U. C, E9 e9 r1 Fand stuck zippers.
+ f% Z# A# s3 {. mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and & }- J$ x; K; R/ z1 [1 D; m" P6 X
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 9 n R! V* U, O5 @" \$ U, F- |
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ' w0 a5 k/ [* v
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 5 \* P) X# Z# |
an embarrassment the next. ! d* U" c: U5 e$ D/ X- h3 M* I0 a: d
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ J# @- Q: P V# C% Jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ' H+ c% E3 K9 g: g) W7 x; _+ M
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. . S- v; |0 S# A6 D' m8 V- K" P
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 r, l3 x4 f7 L, Xthe quality of the end product. 5 J0 p. {$ }: X) @; t* m2 F/ z
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- f8 h9 P( \8 Mjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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4 w. [' F; [% E7 K3 q) rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:# [5 v' ]3 `! o, R" |& Q
None.
+ U K8 h4 S3 C3 j. ^Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 4 F" h+ [7 \( d, @9 \; @
without complaining,constantly retraining and
|! f( r7 X% L4 s* a7 \# Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ) d( Z: S2 ^: o7 c) L0 y# K0 ?7 i
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 8 L; y% R* G: G" j A: @# j
None required, unfortunately. 5 i- d! l, ^7 ]; K# O' T
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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" `5 {+ v& N; E- `' E% ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; ]# L9 _. V( x7 l. j/ QGet this! You pay them!
& L3 m2 {, `1 J; FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( ?, i( Y* K4 ]% y7 O6 Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: `2 @- e& G4 h8 S5 P9 i. Dof the assumption that college will help them
6 Q; p% ?+ Z2 W1 q9 N4 y5 b3 x9 Gbecome financially independent. 9 {* a3 J: }* O# X
When you die, you give them whatever is left. # H% ^ |7 U S9 U3 z- F+ l" }
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ; ?, D- k, o; M' J) E& A8 E) S
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. / D/ r! N1 K1 G$ n) y, y# K
" K5 j X, r* [& h; B" O5 ~BENEFITS: 2 |* r8 `4 U) l9 j) i6 }3 [( a; B
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, : x/ ^" }: ~+ |9 p0 H- [- N' }6 H
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; B# {! f3 i" v3 O1 Uno stock options are offered,2 C: \: e9 h) z6 m/ R$ i0 O) h1 Q. K" f
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, & O( ~! H8 B+ d: d* X3 L# o' d
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ! k; _0 d+ W( ~0 A5 v3 [& }$ ~/ t
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for life if you play your cards right.0 Q9 B( f3 r+ h5 E$ N" [# I/ C0 f6 Y
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **9 J5 N# P* f, }0 `" C" H
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ) Y+ I2 D |4 R: L/ J
letting them know they are appreciated
: C8 N9 J9 n7 O; Dfor the fabulous job they do...
2 [* O9 {% x% t# b7 H+ ~or forward with love ) J8 ]) W H! `. T: R/ e( g1 b
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
