Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 d- w0 j1 E, yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


6 v$ z) {2 n; g+ e/ a# @JOB DESCRIPTION:
% ]% `8 Z/ ]2 `. _% y# U  m8 }Long term, team players needed for challenging,
) Q9 Q. h- O% K/ r0 ^/ g
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% d- ~, |$ G( n( J6 ]Candidates must possess excellent communication
. I) a, K' L1 x* j  fand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 W: ]2 S! F7 r* Y# v5 F6 rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 `. c' r3 F6 J/ s8 ~primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# L  b$ Y& p- z7 ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- C5 a7 m8 T: a8 \. \& x0 C3 P4 jExtensive courier duties also required.
/ N) ~' c6 z8 g3 {7 ~
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* p, Z: u" ?; v9 `% K) N# |until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' C/ X* Q. t1 s1 [, Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" u9 y' W9 ?9 Q& T$ BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" b7 m8 n' o9 ?6 ~( S2 Esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 g5 D! W9 c. r. }' V2 yMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# Q7 t6 \6 r% y- d3 l$ D% Man embarrassment the next.
" u+ I: K2 v; r5 V  G' v& w. V+ MMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: D) j! V" Q& [1 I- o/ RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ S" Z, @+ j# i3 K0 mMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
2 \, h  e4 h* |1 _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ {3 L9 c- X3 ]6 c2 `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. Y/ T. z) e1 z  H1 j0 \None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" _" K6 K+ u! ]5 E+ u2 d1 Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
( c5 q; w$ Q0 D6 _' s7 lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
3 [) ^- p5 \9 Y
7 B% ]# v. f# o/ q
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# v0 P9 l, m* XNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. u. G) Q8 j4 Q6 c7 @) `6 h% ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 M$ ^& M3 b7 ~$ @1 hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
* |% s$ v+ c% pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 R/ q3 A, {; ]
6 h# `/ m! j$ \/ ?/ D2 m6 W- S* UBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 J$ x' s8 E3 t/ a. Q, D& H* m& O9 Zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 f; M% {: Y/ `! y% sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ Q% g; ]* W* [& ]2 `; ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
! b4 I0 v3 O8 k# w
& H/ q- M, t! S" j  ^for life if you play your cards right.
" Z' E$ w( S4 i# N
6 j& @/ `3 D0 Z; x8 W
0 S, Z; w9 A* y" @

! `+ S: E/ q6 N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

; A( H# q/ k" c& Y0 o4 P

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* l, H* U' g# Eletting them know they are appreciated
& u" \8 l, ^7 xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
: Z# g/ L! `, ~" ?* E# y7 u3 g% b1 G

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.