Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


$ [7 a/ Q$ a+ Q6 y, }1 g3 mJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

" u" n; Z! p( e& j5 U0 }permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* b" S' o2 l! ^6 L- Z, d+ Sand organizational skills and be willing to work
. s& f1 C% a3 n5 e( o5 Q( }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" Q6 u1 ^6 J0 g# nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 Q' x. L' m( Z* S& b. I$ ^Extensive courier duties also required.

: p5 o: y) F$ c# YRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
: d  ~' k* @# j/ C0 G  zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' l1 d* F- s* P" uin case, this time, the screams from
* \6 X% r" r9 {" u8 Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ }5 j  B9 G/ W( z4 ~; oMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( F% b& C- z$ a: K7 Mand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 w  H% G$ a! c! M7 M2 R& pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* Z% E& q$ C) W# _% y- i& UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# n6 R( s9 o2 K) @. X0 y: BMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 _& f+ D/ d9 aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, P+ g8 B& l9 F( b- \( I& whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' e9 G8 e  V( V& m1 QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 |9 a) L) |0 S, g6 O: \Must assume final, complete accountability for
. j5 e3 ?( r+ K6 N6 gthe quality of the end product.
: D. X* w* ?8 wResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 X9 b' r* @4 c& b" ]; rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

) U1 w8 o3 @- p2 \% GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  M6 s& g, b! U% zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% c* \) w- I; X% N9 P5 c$ q& K" Bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* ]: q) n8 O. S' n( ^* {/ Mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

/ f3 O2 [: X' J1 U$ [
' Q2 X: O' x7 \* y( d, f9 v: n: MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 n' v' s3 J  q/ Q( g+ j) ]None required, unfortunately.
: U' r* X2 k# F% Z9 n& a: g$ jOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
# o- f9 G' K& f& {* b" a1 i
& C( M  _& J4 V6 z; E$ ^+ ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% r, U2 g9 c) bGet this! You pay them!
) e2 S3 L; D* ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ f+ H/ Z/ b' b1 {0 V+ l! a+ na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: J* |( B' e2 r! _( p+ u/ Zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: A0 k7 b% c  Q' r  D9 q& sBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 ?" c8 o$ M5 Z+ h; othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# Y* H2 r3 i+ y5 E, K# Hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: u4 I- Q2 Z: y- x  `% ^% v
3 f' _6 ~+ B, M! jfor life if you play your cards right.
5 g# L6 Q# e# I0 T. y
/ R' N" N' y/ g8 }' z. S) d& C- A
# I( J+ S# ]# W$ _6 t, S
6 X! |  Q, ^1 k) Z$ U! F6 r+ b
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
6 B5 j% [8 y: ]' T6 }$ L2 H
5 K1 c2 F3 a9 v3 d" j. _8 }& W" }

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! T* J( I; O/ _letting them know they are appreciated
6 W$ f9 |" x$ zfor the fabulous job they do...
6 y$ [# v1 D7 V6 X7 v* |4 E! _3 ?, nor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

  L( g3 D' l) J

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.