Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* a3 D) e! K4 |1 J5 FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
- d9 j8 P3 z# a5 k/ c: Z, ~  G

6 z4 I, l; G7 [$ ^# o0 NJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
& V, `$ i, H$ j0 h2 O" s4 O
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# f- ]/ N0 l3 b4 o7 PCandidates must possess excellent communication
) h; h0 R5 [* ]9 Zand organizational skills and be willing to work
- T5 N+ `1 v7 \$ h/ cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 L& P+ g. d/ C  N8 o: sSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" H/ L; Q& S3 I7 v7 ?primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 P! \; h. \/ L/ v2 pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
  a  i( S1 V, l% d/ yExtensive courier duties also required.
7 U% g1 l7 \; o
" E, d0 B4 d, S& m1 X7 kRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; d' s9 {/ v- o' o3 ~  [9 Suntil someone needs $5.
  l) c5 K7 X) M4 `6 J8 dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; C* T% T5 J0 F5 q, [0 yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) z- I1 u# a; D) r' i- q* LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ e1 v1 }8 {* D# Dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  y) T  C& b" n$ ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 \! ^! {, F  \$ M  A& d) e3 ]% fan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( u/ \( ]7 \. A0 S' Fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" m- ^* ]& b2 p, L; @Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( ~- ]; c7 S% u& L6 i- K& a1 \Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 ^* |( [0 P2 Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
! v# ?8 v1 g3 S2 d, v4 g
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
3 J: ^0 {8 ?- v+ e+ l: t) r; J# [% m9 Gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
7 E/ }3 r% B9 G" g

3 x7 ~5 V& X8 [- UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
! B+ D6 w, c) vOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
' ^, _0 H# P' d
, q- ?8 r9 z! g5 c3 J7 Q- S9 lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 p* y: k) B  Q# ~# y# @9 i* OGet this! You pay them!
/ u; W: [: o$ TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- D% Q0 x% s* h- J6 Q' pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( w" {$ [7 O' d2 W# nof the assumption that college will help them
4 I6 C, n* u, t$ |. H* e$ [; tbecome financially independent.
0 {# S- u6 M3 A4 AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ y- ?/ f2 T' C. V4 qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
5 x; ]) d2 ]4 j8 Z& r* S; m) z
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 B% u' k3 a% W8 l) c" ~  s) Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 \/ n- R: S' t
# y' _( m! x) J1 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- ?: J% I1 l! ^+ `6 dfor life if you play your cards right.
; T. q2 W0 ~5 q. R2 [
7 w+ T" U3 `& }( S


9 d( O( I; c" B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
' u* o( l0 u+ g

0 V8 R6 f' \- N) w# K1 v
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* j! Y9 ]0 ^# u  m& [letting them know they are appreciated
& h4 B7 H0 I/ H! rfor the fabulous job they do...
4 }( {& _% }/ |or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

& k5 |0 x7 F1 S- J; x2 f

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.