Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. x* r/ O( o) U+ b, @1 X, x! QMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

6 f1 K* O2 B# J& x3 H2 spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
! a; N$ d4 x0 e1 m& pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 ]6 o- Z- |! B' L9 v, v2 T4 _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) |7 J$ Z9 G. s5 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' O  M# w3 t) D& Sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ B+ B2 \( I5 _* x. hTravel expenses not reimbursed.
% u' `; I6 y% ~4 a2 MExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
/ P% Z! C: n' _0 _( \' R' uMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) p& ^/ Q2 D& z) q2 XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 Q" n% B4 R8 }5 c+ h+ fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ |+ e$ ]$ o) K. XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 u) V3 h' x1 V- ]7 @" asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 q2 }3 x% ]) x# f& n/ ^' Jand stuck zippers.
8 a6 h3 C  C( }, P; j6 LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 {% O" s. {4 V+ ?! ~0 G% qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* T. E: s* Z7 qan embarrassment the next.
, U$ [/ ]* M5 k0 WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ n$ M3 n1 ]# S) d$ O) \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* ~7 h- n- N  wthe quality of the end product.
* p8 i6 U4 L/ t4 E! f' |5 @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 `8 p. g5 |) P  @+ \% d9 jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 E! [) `. r: F5 DPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ p5 X9 R4 l: x, {4 J! _! INone.
7 ?/ K) u( V" B5 Q, CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' r) P  t% A5 L* q( n4 zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


% g7 V* g5 `# f& S( O4 H5 K. j  gPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ e2 m; U! y) A" `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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2 I, G7 ^$ e+ t) A5 u2 \, v  LWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 }0 g" L" m) `" ~5 @6 oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- o+ y) _3 D$ A" s6 \3 l* h1 Hbecome financially independent.
# t  I3 G) f- I' @8 VWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; n5 J: h8 ^8 [2 K) y1 Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  F8 o9 x$ C6 k; r1 eBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
( V, g- p8 R' f1 f8 Z# Qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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7 A! J5 m8 K' I1 C1 K& V& v/ QForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ w+ V, T2 `  n, R4 A" wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.