Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 ?4 O2 y+ k- _) xand organizational skills and be willing to work
+ G2 [$ U1 I. Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 N" s& F% f0 u- Y$ P9 A7 {RESPONSIBILITIES:
. Q! r2 M& k6 y0 wThe rest of your life.
) P! L. w+ a2 g" d; ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 ~2 d( B% b9 d3 a3 oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; A8 c+ y2 @6 ]  L: T* U# zin case, this time, the screams from
' q  g# C1 q' t1 s6 O7 Y: u; Q) h0 Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% k, v9 u( d0 F. d. zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 q& s+ S: z! G% P  ?3 \1 u# O( pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% B3 u5 P0 ?: P# B; jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; c, M  k  s. c8 X, J9 TMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
! |; V( l' p0 }# SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& B- \3 T  G% r& Q. p4 h# _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 D; ^( d9 E: ^7 M/ G  V4 C; E2 SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
; d( f+ ^- _8 I7 Y( xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
& q- T5 P' q" u' rcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  g/ l/ R7 Y8 I$ {! sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 t1 m; m; g% j3 U; I3 z9 }Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: l& J8 m0 n7 q; l+ fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! i8 D# \, v9 }/ x7 Jof the assumption that college will help them
! [9 C9 M, l* ~2 ]* Pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 N& g, |* y7 m, bBENEFITS:
# Y" B6 ?# {! `3 JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ a  a$ `8 M! E" w% ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) T% v, f5 m1 p% Kfor life if you play your cards right.
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1 h3 P: N4 G7 d6 a* u3 G4 ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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( S& h: ^5 J( h5 z# F0 bForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) F1 f6 C6 R* ?9 [7 e" a9 W! Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.