Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 \5 t# s0 o3 p1 {- yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
# @/ A/ i0 |6 o/ a% v$ Q. n8 YLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& W4 @' r, P: \; OCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 U1 D4 b/ V0 v' Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 S7 e. N' B8 R5 q% ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 g( K# }1 S- z) B) Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 c% a0 V) w' V5 H. ^9 E' [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 x8 x& M/ s% n' qThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) J/ c" `  R; F' J) A( ^9 Z. mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& }$ Z6 O5 F" I2 @+ n$ v& k, Q4 f' Sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 |/ G6 a; o" h5 Q  @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# w# f, i. i% e6 b# q" KMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ z! I' E2 ]# l- Y+ E. J+ ^an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. c% ^2 Q8 ~- w3 f6 R! mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
% a3 L3 N8 l0 i- _( Zthe quality of the end product.
3 J; B2 R# {8 tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ N$ I- k& O$ j+ F$ MYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- `! b: u3 P& P, M$ f* S- uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 C" j# Z6 n8 a. |# |  |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& J1 q4 u9 E; @) DOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
* u* q( k& I( c1 Y  `9 O$ q! D: ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 W8 K4 V* ^, a$ I) Pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* c: W# r; g1 _, i/ {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" H+ {7 b+ [) b8 ?7 A7 n; L
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, k0 k! A8 C/ Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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% z( W1 O% P2 w8 K  p2 x
- \$ @( h3 _6 W* B# _* L; |
6 T3 L- X; g& ]9 Q5 _, A# K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



' ]& v7 s8 `% x) G, L' @0 T6 jForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! Q( q' h. x* ~5 iletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 S* v* p# h# @" U6 S& ror forward with love
6 K1 {8 y* }, x! q. Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.