 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma * X1 y8 o3 S* c+ C: d
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa: @) d7 h% E7 E( U% J6 J5 c( @8 c
& d, z1 T$ x5 }
$ U+ }1 \( K' b# y2 n
JOB DESCRIPTION:6 x8 Z; q2 c) v. V
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
- n6 B' E# ?0 u' l: l
$ c7 m. P8 H1 U1 B6 ^permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ I- t- f& B5 {; WCandidates must possess excellent communication / n+ W- r1 x T; o3 L
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* g: {7 i) f" \6 {) n9 X/ Y4 ?8 v; jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 \! k$ j0 I2 y8 Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% ]- D9 m. d( {) N* t, f( q5 Y$ aSome overnight travel required, including trips to 6 g3 V( d9 b- ^( N
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 1 z% h }0 W7 S0 v1 _8 G9 r
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! ! d8 N0 X. Q; t; L4 ?2 B3 R, ^3 M0 t$ q
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% ]0 }4 \0 a! P! r, ?! F9 o& KExtensive courier duties also required. 5 M( D9 j1 B. T6 J& q) l- Z
0 O' C! `1 h9 E& GRESPONSIBILITIES:+ ?) K! l; l6 w4 g. F
The rest of your life. : D5 ?0 {, d! h1 u$ _. P3 [9 Y
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" o2 T3 Z) E C, Muntil someone needs $5. & T) A0 C: u) K- X; u
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' Y0 Z% K& j4 a$ u7 o; s* iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 5 ^# Q: |1 z! s, S5 o/ I3 x; o# U4 L
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' H+ J, q, g2 Pin case, this time, the screams from
3 k0 c8 L! h* p0 I/ @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* s4 G; a* y: ?1 K' U c- hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, + U" x7 m" E; C5 B
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
|% [; @' h4 q. M& dand stuck zippers.
; Y7 B' j" ^3 b# I% k8 |' IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! z: g; S- a# T5 F2 vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 X1 D* s' M2 k8 F' h$ bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. . P7 |8 w! X- k2 s8 d& b. i
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 a5 N; r3 L4 Z" zan embarrassment the next. 5 h6 X5 E; T- n# z1 k* d+ q: m
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* j8 ~* M3 L) W7 p# a; C) m+ Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ I# c/ o8 ], Y+ UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 6 a- A% [9 e) C# m' d1 c5 `* A
Must assume final, complete accountability for 1 o5 c. H5 w7 X3 J4 h7 f# J! s5 W
the quality of the end product. 4 A0 m- v( J K3 W# T2 F
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- F h: j; f) s4 s/ Y/ y6 M9 |( M, g tjanitorial work throughout the facility.
( F# a8 u( k7 k
/ [: p7 z- o2 c% n" w& N- aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:% I* @$ N3 Q; m; `' f; k
None.
: p% e9 [+ U6 X8 k7 f1 Y0 kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
B) a Y% F5 R5 X, W+ ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 a' B! R4 j1 ~! o) j: I; p. Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 e9 v/ |/ H( A" c* a/ kcan ultimately surpass you.
6 D I6 S, k8 u) |2 E
! e" r2 j/ O* H% W8 u+ r
2 e1 ]& O2 i) Z" X. jPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: I9 Z7 U* s. n, i3 VNone required, unfortunately. 1 I' u( e# t: r6 X2 b2 y( w
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; |! G' [; H9 |% z2 w0 Z0 d' G9 J5 y4 N3 [% R# T
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: + T) @9 C/ T5 B$ }/ p" }" W
Get this! You pay them! # T3 r1 R) q4 I+ }
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. ^& S- u' R) {7 g: R! `( F- Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ ]: z8 R) ]0 _# s, fof the assumption that college will help them , e9 `. _* |1 B( g' }
become financially independent.
0 R% N* ]; x7 @- u+ ?, y. qWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. ) M- x' K7 f1 p/ t9 i9 `+ z! r2 P
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! Z; ~* ?# o t! L' H! _: uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. " P% x. Z! i0 ?& [ ?/ z8 v
5 l3 X4 R I2 F: j) y& R/ t3 u
BENEFITS: : a) z0 w1 k: C ^
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ Z+ g( T; ]' j0 X( Y W# kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, u7 G9 z% S5 e3 f1 Wno stock options are offered,
; u! Z" }* c' l$ zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% z# u( Z6 M: q# d' }
/ t* S q7 @' ?% W6 Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses & \; o) k' N U0 J5 K
# i! K- Q# V5 o& W! p9 S) Z6 e5 m
for life if you play your cards right.5 D0 p) J" n8 f H# T: T# h
$ m3 g0 F. M6 D& W$ ]4 W
) `8 }7 b; b% K0 S1 V6 U1 v, r; ~9 F ; {0 d4 f- u7 ?5 p& L! q
& ]+ N: N( Y2 x7 `- m( k9 K" {
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** A9 \* L6 c; S( {* x9 u3 j
! k _/ p$ m9 C, j, ?+ t . y; n. W5 G) x- [2 J: ?3 b
- u* H* b) I# x" Y2 ~1 M
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 1 U+ A0 W; }, T% L( U
letting them know they are appreciated ; v* y* ^6 \# E" g, G' w9 ~, O
for the fabulous job they do... : \* Q# g% X& j- X9 \" {: R
or forward with love
W9 G) A5 D4 f0 u0 G* L$ pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.4 n# j+ Y$ n* j7 A: q j5 x
6 d- p6 A. U" [4 y6 y. l o
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
