Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ n9 \! J  n9 b$ k5 j: I( A- IMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


7 ~7 O; s% d( O% _2 O) [# HJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

/ b5 Z8 i' i4 t: G2 epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 @6 F, H3 y4 M8 CCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; n7 d) l# c8 ^* Lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 {1 A$ g! b) }2 J: Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 t5 \$ `& x6 [  c% vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. z6 M: w, f9 m- J. Z/ m8 dTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ q( M8 K: N8 G: h; a! z+ ~Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% N* O' J/ x3 K- D) Q% yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  z# f2 C; c% q/ e: M# wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% i$ r4 E& L0 Han embarrassment the next.
* {% n$ K, x: [7 G5 q5 `Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 s0 L! T% O( q% V* Q( f% X. Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  x+ ?5 Q* f) d" T" H" h3 `Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 u1 w- W5 ^2 u9 SMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
' m4 \) F' J# Z9 x# tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 a1 M; E6 E4 Z* ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ W  Z' {# T  Y! M$ g* ~None.
0 @( R. }( Z3 M& mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% {3 e3 }: F+ _* vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
* s& B$ E+ b' Mcan ultimately surpass you.

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. p; j" w& r/ }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! c, d+ ]+ q4 u: o- XNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% G$ Q6 r) M6 m. N( s+ J6 o9 FGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  S9 C0 O  [4 Q- l/ f& e4 Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. B9 ~9 y3 _# \of the assumption that college will help them
- z4 [( T: H4 N* u' qbecome financially independent.
! w1 P* Z6 P  c  i, ?5 ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 N" A' C8 O2 R' Q1 uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# Y4 e3 |: O: q  i0 x9 `2 }2 K( ino stock options are offered,
$ l8 }1 r* X( Z; j8 [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
" F4 S+ z7 B, a7 S- b. I


7 u5 v3 s3 f; e; r5 {; A
- b# c6 b3 D: x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 F: c7 H# h2 l4 [5 v5 xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 P6 C& F0 F- z4 ~letting them know they are appreciated
! \, b, ^+ M% V; ^# `7 P. Vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, k- t9 U( w$ A2 v: j$ R8 Dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.