Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 l- k$ J7 D' f( P3 I( Z! oMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
+ s* H) s- D' aand organizational skills and be willing to work
" L7 I- U& {/ Q6 U; U$ X; bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- q# i5 B: |1 f) g8 p1 c# d5 C4 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 M0 g/ x$ e  RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. z' {, @6 }3 `! P! p. cuntil someone needs $5.
' z3 z$ S# t! y0 h# s4 v7 J) n: r. sMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 `# m$ H2 p% Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 l3 y$ Z' j. v- ~, j# Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 e! _$ v+ d6 U, W% \0 usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ l* z5 D; `# ]' q. j- tMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 ~/ s8 b2 o" n7 s9 @: Gan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% o6 w. _/ @/ shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% a1 Z" X% O6 n+ eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 A; h3 Q7 x, m% `( k5 Lthe quality of the end product.
# H/ d1 y3 W7 R% LResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# R0 w. U( Q" H* W5 u! K, [None.
6 M( A/ y* q5 D& l. p, T# }0 {9 `Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: s- o* A/ i) \can ultimately surpass you.
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0 F* r4 s3 o- x2 f8 yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  i, B' W# {- C" `- sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
6 ^& L  s/ l+ N- {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) V; {! y5 _" Y, q. ^$ x0 }a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 R( t0 |5 r- c, c/ c2 _of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, Q% a! b! X( k- `0 ?1 NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 `, C$ x* S2 y1 x; `7 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
/ K& e' l8 n3 r% |" \  BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 E9 p' p) X& Z! c# Gno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

1 S6 ^$ G. h* ~+ O, a7 }unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' w6 O7 f7 m  `: }; Afor life if you play your cards right.


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1 t1 @; ]- Y- G3 Q+ x8 V( R8 f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 F. _, d8 w3 S! O  {or forward with love
6 o7 U. H' r, Y0 T* ]3 V" {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.