 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma x, G( f) d3 K/ `
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa* H6 E4 p) t! u& J9 m
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JOB DESCRIPTION:7 T& R: g. D: m
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ J; s. T: b( epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. e; w6 |4 c' I$ J$ X/ o/ }Candidates must possess excellent communication * S9 s; _5 h5 q& b m
and organizational skills and be willing to work
, E7 u4 l7 T9 Z3 [$ c9 p9 Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends # H8 M- \' W9 B( r& {5 l
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* E7 R+ B, A9 hSome overnight travel required, including trips to 8 f. o8 Q J$ j
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 ?, e+ W, m" a: r/ i5 M. U! {5 zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 I2 w# N6 Y2 J" O+ xTravel expenses not reimbursed.
2 p9 s& N: n' g% ]; X2 XExtensive courier duties also required. 1 t& G, \9 w2 G, l* L6 T
/ f, O! s5 v' Z; C- g" YRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 W4 r0 a8 B% g; a- @' Y6 n+ VThe rest of your life.
3 v5 |+ U$ F ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ( S4 b) a9 V9 F3 b3 Q
until someone needs $5. 4 ^# r( U" e# k1 C5 e6 o) |
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ' l0 E2 g- t5 {0 p
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; O4 E* D: x6 f; u1 V, F. ]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 0 E- z+ `$ q9 g, g
in case, this time, the screams from
2 i* ~5 x* L5 T; V# uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" F+ W9 |8 K! i& \3 _+ _+ R- z" W, XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 j5 S& R$ p0 M, H( ?6 |* msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ; }" K7 I% v; }. X, F' b
and stuck zippers. ) @5 }/ \- M0 t0 W$ D
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and - X8 I h5 e$ g7 ]& N3 R' p
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 G6 ? h6 ?6 KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 5 I1 s# Q; V$ C6 i. D
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, . R( x: I3 s6 I! J3 l, q5 v
an embarrassment the next.
: t1 r' w2 D% d. V" C1 ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ' S( D1 W8 B5 v
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 z+ X! L2 a1 Y3 dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ' {2 I0 E/ ?" g: H3 h8 }4 O
Must assume final, complete accountability for # D) L5 u$ J' Z( P5 D! h5 h
the quality of the end product.
7 W2 _+ m, M/ j% mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 ^( [- m% h6 K5 J8 v: x Zjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:3 T$ x( ~# G/ a) Y: K& P% w! }$ ~
None. 0 x1 q1 Y% }4 O9 A' ~+ n7 n
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 5 i6 B5 }5 N2 B# O( Z; p6 v
without complaining,constantly retraining and
; y6 K% R; y" ?updating your skills, so that those in your charge 1 R9 |( W. X6 D
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ R1 C I+ Q2 l0 _9 y; K$ uNone required, unfortunately.
. x4 u6 g- k7 O, |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. & Y9 Y& Y" Z" A' |: t; E
6 \1 `: G# n$ b6 g8 `5 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* z `6 D/ V: {. S1 ]6 yGet this! You pay them!
: U1 t+ T' N+ V3 d; Y* eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 k* b1 m K( w1 \8 p$ va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 9 E3 O4 k+ H9 O0 i5 _; H
of the assumption that college will help them * f* c2 |5 ?; U, w4 y, n1 t
become financially independent. 6 [1 \. h7 }! C5 V, y, ?
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% f6 o7 N2 f& l' d7 o& [- S( hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that & E- z, r* e" k
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
4 Z7 ?5 J9 }# D9 G( T' VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ! `4 j2 d9 M$ r* ~" v9 a0 T8 q2 k" B. t
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and # T& X8 h# g- t$ x6 R3 s7 \7 S
no stock options are offered,: g% w5 _: y* C2 n
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses # r9 v/ o4 ?9 Z( G! p: s2 ~2 `) e9 q
5 N7 @) s7 _/ I7 i( L. [3 |! Vfor life if you play your cards right.) z9 d+ G7 n" q6 E. @% g1 U
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: d% K2 v) w) U6 `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 u8 t% v- ~3 G# {% I* c5 m. T- |0 H/ Zletting them know they are appreciated . ^6 U5 f6 `& d* O! M" H& ~
for the fabulous job they do... 1 ^" W+ f: i0 c8 l b$ u! }6 A0 h- Y$ ]
or forward with love 4 q0 C6 g- K6 Z, { G$ q
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
