Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' ~) C: G' L( {1 X, |9 ?Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
) P; W4 q9 I$ i% ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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- m: s' W1 B  m4 U( Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ v' f9 ~& k$ q- m6 P) a$ u0 Z$ V% i( ZCandidates must possess excellent communication
9 ^3 I# q' M- r  f, Z8 J$ R! A6 ^) Zand organizational skills and be willing to work
% K8 U1 R2 |. S4 d' y! V3 ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 d) I, C( H6 `1 k, W9 F0 [8 jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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7 k# _/ {. @3 f' X8 j6 J) L+ r3 tRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! t; h9 x* M% [) SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 M& k! E, m9 z4 [until someone needs $5.
4 B1 @3 t6 @- M4 @# Z! [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 Y# F3 C  z' }5 Y: \4 Xand stuck zippers.
5 y6 X0 E, O4 q( c$ pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. f: g" ]+ I: T6 s1 rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
# T" u. |) o, [+ f' a3 D2 J; N- @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 \  M4 f  E2 `1 j  T8 mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 \( n/ N) y5 D( D- T% SMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' k' P; L4 O; `% ^8 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- Q0 p3 m8 x  F: H8 n) Q% h  y4 ?, sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 N, {3 t# I  d8 iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 o) Z8 }5 [' X3 {6 C- Z7 Vcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, p8 Y6 q4 R2 a& [6 C4 jNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
  d- H$ g9 j$ Z. a# R) G3 D  WOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
& S' U: W2 H& a, {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 Y, k& N# O2 X% S7 qof the assumption that college will help them
1 B- ]: h0 ]9 \" }2 s8 X: v! bbecome financially independent.
8 s. I: {8 T+ [' g. ]  H/ ]/ P7 ]When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 L7 p' r9 I% }7 ~( zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
- z! h$ v* \: @: I* v, o2 y- xfor the fabulous job they do...
! o/ G5 ^  J9 b% t& ior forward with love
7 v1 \* E1 j* a6 `$ @, P7 K/ \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.