Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( w% G8 Z  x. @# }9 I8 l, }. P! ]3 }+ ?Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
& f  l' D- L9 b1 O6 x
  C! R* Z& a0 g5 k- ]
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ J; K$ ]! P& s5 sCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 w9 J( F% K" d8 i  qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
$ x, A3 W- W; }# }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 F& k. Z! N% K( Z" U% x9 {8 b2 I! aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( @/ A  |1 M4 W* Q3 a, S& b" oExtensive courier duties also required.
: h8 l. N  j) [6 R/ p! G; x
RESPONSIBILITIES:
# ]% X$ u! f& Z% |" W6 _0 L9 a8 U8 nThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 x6 z0 s" R$ N* u  l! i  ^+ duntil someone needs $5.
6 y% e% H7 {. p3 l3 V7 I8 ]" x* TMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% O5 C" i) G- \2 e4 nAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" t7 F1 H* U7 _6 A0 f" W( Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- r! \7 W" m% Yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. E! ~% }, E0 I5 I7 \% zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. C$ S$ L$ M' L& I) z* Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  `' |; B# D, `* s4 [9 `) vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# w; a3 ^1 y# F- e# ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( C# {% v7 _& y2 k/ S' Z3 {8 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 N5 L$ _) n" @& Man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- A- b1 M% u+ p" c1 ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  {  j" [$ r6 d2 B1 O3 ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 M( g* j4 a5 l7 j8 X0 {8 ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
; j' L7 P$ x$ @/ t7 p- X
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 e# B: |8 O2 j5 E3 ~5 dNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* @% M2 k! S) A$ j' x8 O, Y. P2 dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( @5 @- T4 {3 ^( f( hcan ultimately surpass you.
6 d) A0 v8 c# H' ^1 `3 D8 Y1 U( p
) l" ^4 U/ r+ ?7 C/ j' f6 G. b
' C( Y  Q7 b7 L, [0 ?# M+ zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% c6 _) R% @$ c! GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
6 h' Z) _' f5 I5 T8 e- [
. L' j, t: p+ [" @( R( qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 b0 J  b0 Z2 ?+ E  _' COffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 O7 R. n; s* ?8 o2 vof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! r# O: t3 I1 D: q/ byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" g7 h5 ~! `2 c) {% zBENEFITS:
* x$ q* }3 F: Q0 TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- e/ f  `# z' t+ S6 t; i* Y! tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! w5 ^& M+ M5 O8 tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 u: `6 B4 y: d" Z. O9 B8 x
  U0 ]+ k6 K( A& d* f2 K( ?" ~7 Hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
3 N/ j- r+ z4 S. `+ Z

" K4 H, t/ y8 F

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
  |7 W# O. F- W% i; ]  _3 d. a
4 J  _2 m8 Q0 ~2 O3 A6 b! W- `0 g

0 o2 _- ^! q$ ?2 `+ [/ `& cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 T) u- _( |$ [5 `2 `3 e( |' Xletting them know they are appreciated
1 G8 v# {9 W4 A6 Cfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ o2 b9 [7 r$ L3 I! R: X$ w* X/ Jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
: B* j# j; l5 \$ k  S9 \# ^

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.