Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% A! I! z+ {5 i. c8 w" b/ NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


# h$ z% }/ ?6 e% X' l5 uJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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( j1 p. N* w3 Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 y3 \. ?0 {* iCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 T+ `/ }! `8 V. Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ I# b+ w1 N6 _# O2 U1 N- }4 r  a* YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

6 B. z3 n& z: f0 `7 URESPONSIBILITIES:
3 c/ S2 b2 a8 o, r: t" GThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
* t* G: M! @7 V  qMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; c& Y" x& L" b7 b9 b# vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% n. f* v5 R) C# P# _: Qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 E/ `/ p) W& `& lin case, this time, the screams from
7 E: J; [( ^  jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: H% G$ u+ ^- m9 V) K  q+ ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
; |  e/ ]$ h" U$ cMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 n( J% O  P; T6 S% Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ q8 i* W5 K$ t' L. X! w. kMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ {* |  b9 x9 s* X1 c2 O* M/ WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 u( }% i+ X; K% ]- Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
* K5 ]' G' r4 M: }1 F& |  iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: M% P9 V; p& w1 i, l$ Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
1 N' p$ E6 v. t& h6 e8 n; ^! mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
* W- O6 _2 f4 t: e0 z+ acan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
2 @6 ^' W. ?! a5 rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ a# M* p7 X& OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% s2 a9 X. A" M8 A  ~/ `5 [Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 A* j& {% X4 `of the assumption that college will help them
! t( l! p& }( q2 y6 Pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 ~) N  r% m: n/ ~& EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 y9 R, _& D8 k1 t2 L" G+ Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* S) o, q. {% D( @/ S8 n5 c1 [no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% L. V8 i6 n8 v2 P$ V
) B  K  R, N: Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 |; r* z% ?+ `( P+ Y
5 p% U7 X5 e* nfor life if you play your cards right.


0 P: K+ w" l+ v

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 W5 F9 U; K( b- d! v7 o; eletting them know they are appreciated
2 S! ^6 C# n8 X1 Z' afor the fabulous job they do...
1 _# m- |9 t  p7 o. ~or forward with love
& S  i% {/ n' D7 W- O2 l  t% {1 ?to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
4 c  H* J1 U) w

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.