Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
* M5 l+ ~) Y& I: o: O6 w9 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 c! K. J) p- X3 K4 I2 ]0 Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: \1 M* q2 p( l) I1 I- y( wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
- [- N8 y# [- S8 H) j' B- s9 q/ Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 A& h. y/ @( Y  jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 E& d( r2 m% ^+ V9 Y( s; d5 KExtensive courier duties also required.

$ I; ?- x+ n8 L2 ~) FRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  ~+ P7 ^- i. m) O, y7 Mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) v, _  w$ d. xin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 F$ H+ p6 d& P8 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
9 R' J5 ~; b1 K7 o& m6 iMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% w, s/ q& B4 Y) J* c- LMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
& B" t3 n4 d  l0 l& \+ c% eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, u" Q9 l6 e* I. \% Vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 [+ D. J3 r6 W, Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) J# y! X+ \; a/ m4 J$ YNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% r. f- V/ c1 U; Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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% }$ X* ^, M- F5 i' u" D7 b) b+ _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) V1 Q. U$ P# D* D0 u1 T8 PNone required, unfortunately.
# w/ F4 g8 H" j1 Y: [* SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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" g+ v  H* C& v* Z, q  O7 vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 B4 V. P* H$ P$ x8 S9 h2 C$ wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 t. e9 D. d# i! Q+ k9 }of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! h3 Y8 Q; S, y. N/ ^When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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" d; k- K% m$ m" b" I8 a8 GBENEFITS:
4 [: u* `1 N3 p. y  g6 d5 h0 @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% A3 Y5 _! h& V+ [" {7 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' n. f5 W5 g7 R; u8 qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

& }8 H6 C$ A" E" N3 Ufor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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0 F  w$ X6 |9 ~  r, S# MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 t. P9 `6 Y6 c* j+ vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
  w; [% N4 c0 P: @. S/ wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.