Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 f; ^6 \+ R+ N8 \. KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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& @7 }/ Q  Q# P. J) i+ bJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% Q% W& L, S2 j5 W+ W0 c& JCandidates must possess excellent communication
. d! t& }6 }( s& h1 n* k5 }5 mand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, q; H( w/ R& w4 u; l- USome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* n' i! k% S* e! WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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( R: Z# ?% h5 ORESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 \- S( g" X$ N8 a, ~until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, `- ]7 n3 \! d1 kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- K% O% b( S2 m! |) win case, this time, the screams from
' j; T; t# W) W- W  Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 ~2 g* J+ U. B9 ~8 ^! X# t1 {0 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) {+ K$ a3 |' @$ Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( f! b& L3 ^- P/ G" T, n6 I. mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 }8 x- j7 e) y, \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. V6 n# S' _3 D, S* J$ o' tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, g3 X( b. L4 g0 Y* AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 _1 ^' j" y- `" \" V! T8 y# Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* [( O3 v: x- G' `" h7 ONone.
1 C5 P) u' |  ]4 H+ C) |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  k, m1 X1 g. x- U! Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" u3 E6 ?8 E' i: Ucan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 W% n4 T7 b( i, h& q7 vOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
" V3 ]7 K( D: L# h0 P+ {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- q$ `; d2 Q# `1 p2 ~. @5 r0 ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' q( D# |- d: D8 G1 [  x( oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% f, V3 _  R& ^+ V: E! zThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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* f! X; i) b" w4 {BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ t* _4 o) _; f, M5 d# _no stock options are offered,
* I4 g: p9 v  t! {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% [+ }4 C# Q. Z9 tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( |0 n& L  `7 ~0 z4 l" k; g' bfor life if you play your cards right.
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/ a3 Q# {# E8 j* T& d5 ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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  h& ]1 G/ P* S9 m* s7 GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* V' s$ d* V- F: }9 o( Z. l! Y- m; k7 Oor forward with love
* c5 m3 B# S: q9 jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.