Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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+ D3 K- w3 z5 R# X2 \3 HJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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; O3 C, f, M% `* N& c- t  zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. w% }# X' @# o4 t/ l$ eCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 T0 ^5 y+ L* X. Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" x3 R2 @- R0 x) g# Pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 S& P3 [# d7 K* P. @4 U4 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ L: Y' c1 V4 k" L! K: ^, xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
! b; y# @# U8 T1 `5 TThe rest of your life.
" {7 P; j! ]$ q& T( ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 ?" C0 J) Y1 V+ x' a. Ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 w8 ~8 _4 |8 W; y! `) T  Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# x9 ~: a# u+ R" q0 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" T6 m- H2 Q0 b  I8 T, [and stuck zippers.
7 l) r  c4 ^1 M- F  h& S" fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, p9 ~' d5 x: {& n" M! uMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! v3 B! _( ]+ k7 i) o% ~7 H! J  X7 NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# [7 S% Q/ }0 F% o8 f+ qan embarrassment the next.
9 X3 h4 W, e, s( V; d1 e1 @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ w: @% `- K9 x+ w8 w+ uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 U+ Z5 Q" q2 R/ vMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
! a) o8 _/ o% K; |0 D; NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 m; ~* W2 S: z! W6 Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, e# n" b% u  b3 G7 ONone.
  _7 K: U; [& }+ {% u+ nYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


  ]" K2 M% V% n" A- ^. e1 ~' tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' y6 t$ ^- C) WNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 N; R2 ^1 L3 l" s" A8 P* A  |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! i4 _! B/ k& O4 G* Y: j/ C* m6 l0 ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 u2 s* x# Z# v7 E9 @become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) m) d+ x8 g- ]8 dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: s- q% N" G* y$ UBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" o  ~/ x, }2 F7 W7 }. B) p- rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

1 h) I9 g. ?; L2 s/ F( cfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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( b' K" E  @% O* \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
- F& \6 [; g: I; t/ pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.