Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: x) a8 l& W+ d4 ?) ]7 aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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  o5 S8 f+ ^! q  h5 Z3 FJOB DESCRIPTION:
( O) ^( A  M+ n4 `* ^. k4 X' yLong term, team players needed for challenging,

5 v! G# N, x' opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  o7 Q( }" H5 p3 o0 x7 L( cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% z  p& C+ e6 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
! d5 o3 {, v- x" ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
* B9 f2 U. W/ @! K! Q9 WThe rest of your life.
( H8 R3 [% F* yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
' @- G2 F8 y! t/ J, |3 @  q' S( lMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ j6 `1 _5 h6 T* M: u) e) k: nMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ a' m! X% S: O) S! V/ |# ], cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 Z# J6 @& s/ {. qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ u* l7 F/ z$ D  \0 W, ^* man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; I. j, c) N' o4 `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 R8 [* K/ Y; S% C5 z1 gMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 B2 C' ^) D% lMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 U  K% H3 w) k4 Q: w/ _$ bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ ?! `6 A  M0 x& kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: Z; K5 z+ j) A9 b* R/ K+ u' bNone.
8 @+ E. r. R& K  b) q- V" bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 F3 Z8 K- E: r6 o5 @# g* B, jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, a; a' l, v8 Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ q2 N, C! t) Gcan ultimately surpass you.
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2 s# W" I7 L( i, E7 v  j+ VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 O" l" x; Y, R: X" `+ ?2 ^# N8 ENone required, unfortunately.
* S' i1 V# T: j+ E- iOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! ?) j) ]1 K% Q- j% f* X6 iGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ [+ X4 r4 l+ n5 d3 }( T4 d0 V6 h& jBENEFITS:
0 B0 \" ~/ m2 O  YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 i1 |" K; ^0 Cno stock options are offered,
8 h$ e! O6 s$ S! ~7 b# }- p! ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: B* g5 W/ ~: s- M2 `( Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 |: T. k+ m& H- @for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
4 j% l8 A, t1 z1 Cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.