Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; e. E$ V7 q9 U+ f! z. Q; ^9 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* P4 d$ k  j) I0 i( D' S' D; N9 OJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

5 t: G; W9 j, P  ]7 ~; M. O/ v5 w. u! ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 I5 P8 @/ E7 M) o2 Xand organizational skills and be willing to work
4 k/ a- d! q- ^; l- B* N7 @variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; `3 z" L. o1 m( m& I) v$ e' R- _7 kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 F4 r* f2 c$ |: z& |endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 B8 k, u2 t/ G. T: Z4 |) YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
- @' E) ^/ O$ c  i- \/ }9 c) `) q/ JThe rest of your life.
; a. D+ R& c; |Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ j, _' _+ G$ Xuntil someone needs $5.
0 W# {$ z/ j& s) R3 p' k# vMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: C4 A3 {) x, x0 U/ Mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' K9 I1 s- ]6 P6 Lin case, this time, the screams from
6 j3 g3 k) s" ?the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% Q, }) s$ G4 v5 i5 Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' n" |# x: f& \3 p% q2 \! q- tMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  @$ c- E) F( m$ E+ S9 Can embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& H3 V* K% K% H0 l2 o+ M1 G# c6 _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ _7 q4 S9 O  @  L: \Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
! i/ R  a0 M, I: M4 o+ d& yResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

7 w1 y5 A8 I* I4 [3 n' tPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
7 [* T! l, J, bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' T0 Z4 O  [; A# P  Eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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$ d! Z4 p# [0 M; X1 ]- zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
6 F' U) g; _& o& E% POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* l0 Y  w8 }! n+ e0 @) \3 CGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& Y% Y5 T) d6 ?6 \of the assumption that college will help them
$ M" |7 X; e" _become financially independent.
* u. |* K- V+ J: S! v" w3 SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% i2 Q, }" R8 q& M  wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% L- b2 Y+ N! j2 Z# R7 h7 K) pBENEFITS:
5 d3 k+ X" E; v3 _( S1 A  u! ]While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 X8 q& P2 d1 h0 ?3 M" \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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8 ~/ v1 M5 v& }9 ^% a5 hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
+ ]0 [. {  u, `; U" H( ^1 ]( J
# n$ l* M# t0 tfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ A1 u" a& K, _# U1 t; Pletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.