Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ I0 p) {* k8 v4 i5 LMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! U$ |( a" Y* _+ CDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


7 M& z: N! a+ W$ {: _3 y# q6 d+ CJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 ^6 j; s! w7 a/ B  \5 E) \4 k# xand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! a( ?8 c5 q% _3 X+ R, Zuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" w7 r% e) M) }8 ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 y* ]; a4 o% {( }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
; L8 Q5 f8 x; O4 q* Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 Y6 }5 W3 U2 I; i9 F" {; F7 K# Fand stuck zippers.
6 X6 F% f7 \6 B* {6 ^' Y- ~Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 B% T0 p" ]& ^; {3 H( b6 SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. {2 s- @- H  wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 W2 ?2 Q; t0 h" i7 j% k, f+ y$ ?an embarrassment the next.
: n2 ?' u( g  b! G* y8 hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 }8 L: b1 N, u8 H) Y9 Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 P) k9 V0 F% f  rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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' b0 P# l2 I( D! v2 B0 KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( H% `; S8 _, ?* m  H7 A5 m( owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 f% ?3 |1 q4 l. l. [1 f- Q# Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 N1 u% @: G: Ucan ultimately surpass you.

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% g/ ^: g& z0 e) RPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 Q& D" i  U1 f& n) j) i/ SNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; {! w0 Y* `* Z$ e5 yGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
: R$ L0 c' K; o* g9 r1 X% A3 m5 ibecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' G& |4 P5 K3 t4 dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, {4 c& A8 W, L( y8 A" qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* r+ _, j  c) O, ?+ Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 w4 @. c" z; o: tno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 f5 u) T2 e: y0 u- J
4 R1 \$ v7 b' s- `+ |2 |$ m& w1 nfor life if you play your cards right.
' p8 J* |) y6 T7 r' H9 p


" u& I9 l! _9 ]
8 \" u4 z2 ?& D8 U% R( `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
( I, ], @) J% A4 g5 W" r# d0 I
6 B% x4 R* E1 P, B
& \6 L! D4 j( c
7 Q5 T3 a* A: e/ u6 N0 B$ nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& N, Y' v1 s+ d6 |6 Tletting them know they are appreciated
8 L* C; T* H% H% Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
' E$ ?3 R8 l$ R! {- p: C+ G
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.