Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  A9 V1 _  a$ Q4 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 E; o3 K0 i- X& W( M5 cDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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3 i8 r( Q) a  h: D7 DJOB DESCRIPTION:
# ^  N3 s' N2 H$ M8 C3 v1 dLong term, team players needed for challenging,

! [- ]/ }' q# I' D3 Xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# C" v7 |/ g  r/ ~& P6 n2 D  `9 nCandidates must possess excellent communication
- I& Q2 T6 F2 d( G. tand organizational skills and be willing to work
- ]* r: U  P1 H. i3 Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: V3 |4 ~% ^# ~2 E% J5 `6 s. USome overnight travel required, including trips to
* {; I# L% Q9 _3 Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
# n5 x9 ~+ n9 r
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& O& ^1 a/ K" S8 bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ r! r# X) C0 nin case, this time, the screams from
% l0 ^# i7 J+ ]6 O0 Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' u2 P" n- O0 a5 ]. m$ _. IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" j$ U' X8 T) Y; F7 s( J  _2 [( @an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. \$ l) ]6 ^1 O/ J/ Q( ^6 nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
" P: M# g+ M( ~; n/ [- l6 F& W0 d
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 j6 S+ e8 t9 f- V% H2 a5 MNone.
2 G5 r, P- `" Z4 R3 G* sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

* o. F2 |: s  U! NWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 g9 Z" p* I0 p" Z" a/ EGet this! You pay them!
- [) J* L3 ^3 _4 HOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( I8 J9 Y) X  R2 Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 C8 {* @! M$ R' w, f) X1 n$ cof the assumption that college will help them
% V' h) J3 h1 ^5 O5 jbecome financially independent.
" c! _" q+ G4 _When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
; v% W+ D$ s) Z) o/ zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" F( `  D: s; h, G9 r3 Tno stock options are offered,
7 S+ f$ r0 i/ J( F  nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
4 W+ t; H: U5 }6 g1 h9 S
for life if you play your cards right.
+ ]+ Q$ D  y; ?9 h$ y

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/ u. `( {. M7 v* t) N/ h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 i6 z/ i9 p3 u% Dletting them know they are appreciated
6 J" o# I1 h; C* G, l. ~for the fabulous job they do...
2 P+ \4 Y' J  y( Q4 h: u5 ]& Uor forward with love
3 ~+ O$ ~5 o# ^& \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.