 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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! _! D% \- |/ m& t4 V/ @ dMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 0 K, h" K* }( N. T2 B# {( e& ~
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 D! D0 i5 d% ]: Y M! B) ^; hJOB DESCRIPTION:4 f1 W# x5 q1 G: u
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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2 n) E7 {4 F7 a; S6 ?: R; Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment. ; z/ ^ z( j+ @5 B
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. ]7 v) F3 p5 w, o' Yand organizational skills and be willing to work
; H: G. q# M7 R7 |) w, Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 X' h, w4 ]% n6 j1 ~" x, j: Z4 ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- \, w ?5 ?* l+ Q x6 I5 d( iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( C/ m4 [. f1 t% q' R# w/ Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and % a g) _3 O; K+ X; [2 C
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' J" p3 C1 u/ ]2 M0 [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 j) ^% e9 G( m. tExtensive courier duties also required.
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t( x' j9 ]" k& yRESPONSIBILITIES:, k) \. o0 V0 x7 N8 a: E
The rest of your life. 7 e6 K2 N$ u8 Q) o7 d, i
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( ~- `( c$ d5 ?7 Puntil someone needs $5. " P. C: m) L9 L2 L8 _$ x
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. - g( I# s" p0 t) _( @
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. Y2 M3 T; J7 d! rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 |9 B1 x- g5 A, R2 x9 H& jin case, this time, the screams from * d$ @# d7 v; K8 M
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. / \+ T O, U a, {* p" e/ k
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 4 ~6 E1 z, o' N7 ^ M* D
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 0 G( i5 S' n' B" d
and stuck zippers. 7 y d& @/ n' ~
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 P# p$ k* m/ a& G$ b: b4 o7 z& @coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6 V& B2 v8 Y5 G* E0 b- r
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 z1 e1 c( _( sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 h5 R; C5 s( h- {; I) E' H w7 Ian embarrassment the next.
6 f Q8 L& e5 R! ?- EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ; {3 c* }; K4 j( b, Q5 J! g. i) e, u
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ e3 r R& b; I( K5 p/ M+ BMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ) S, T7 D% G$ _, @0 L" }
Must assume final, complete accountability for + |0 t7 a) ^/ s/ v% C3 D" T/ k" B
the quality of the end product.
: X \7 }: A1 U6 @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and . p4 R6 | Z% s
janitorial work throughout the facility. % d& J& W3 C& ?7 R* R3 R
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( {, D" B f2 ]; b2 r% R* }/ ^None.
- W6 W9 I1 @# {1 S: J0 \* v! X, ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ) Q$ N4 @! C0 v; A$ |
without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ V* ?; L4 w7 L: O2 h3 b7 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" u9 i$ |! Z! i$ k1 K3 G: p1 [% Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. y: [6 V7 N/ [9 }+ j& ?None required, unfortunately.
" V8 s1 \9 Y9 U" DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 1 M: ~" ?7 z; |: v- t
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: , C7 m* l9 v G4 s, @7 t. `
Get this! You pay them! . |' h- u$ x- H( t+ O- O t
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ' _% W8 G$ Y; d3 d9 r# A
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* L( |' f; R% a( {0 Qof the assumption that college will help them ; O4 J! N/ q3 y
become financially independent.
- R4 q% A$ M6 J% F2 E0 A% BWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. ' k1 d: T) _" X
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) q8 S; D* P. O' g# B. G7 wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ) O. ], c. M( B# u! v) b( i9 I1 B
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BENEFITS:
7 A+ K& x, z( B+ f5 w* iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 4 d7 r" n/ D' Z3 }
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ( Q U/ |1 Z6 z
no stock options are offered,
$ k8 s& z9 m* n+ Wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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0 N0 F l, n8 }4 V9 H! s- D2 Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ }" T- v* h) T: e; g' S0 |
( {3 k: V2 s9 I) gfor life if you play your cards right.# Y+ _! Z! x! A0 B
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 3 x$ d7 K' M* t7 T4 @
letting them know they are appreciated
4 L+ i5 p) I& S/ D9 ^1 p8 u' j: Qfor the fabulous job they do... 2 S0 G- C6 r4 I4 q6 Z$ ]3 ^
or forward with love $ [# u' \( r: ]6 L: b. y
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.- U5 O1 h4 p4 m6 J; j/ D1 ^( ~
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
