Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
/ b2 Y) x9 |* t4 y% `! R! \5 ~
5 q( N, `1 B0 v! Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 ]8 n& ]$ ?8 Iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ o" I9 s; x9 Z# d. U: Q0 [  e* z/ Iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 a- E! A7 K1 K" H' jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

, Q% E3 r- l7 u( D  [/ C( o: Y; ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 r3 i, B( Q) h* ^) Z+ _0 LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* w/ q, e5 u, P/ h7 k( j& vuntil someone needs $5.
2 Y/ s* ~% c* c* x! gMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 M/ Y9 F! ?: G! }' jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' v. G, b3 u$ {, Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 e2 a- d; G0 k6 i( `; j2 z. w9 j" O: Han embarrassment the next.
- r$ U% t% v( J: [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: }2 [0 W6 I" p% d4 Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: Z3 p. [. I( qthe quality of the end product.
, J5 p2 X5 a: w4 k5 P# }: |* F4 `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! P4 I; v& i! kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 F& M. k$ M# l/ g' RNone.
  ]4 a9 s$ r2 B* [0 T# _" pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

- S) c' E1 q9 f) C' T6 J
- ?* C) O4 }" K2 j6 ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* @, `& Z7 ^% {. Z4 BGet this! You pay them!
3 b) G( i4 F* K, R9 |& t/ ~/ n5 T- GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: C5 N" R5 O0 Zof the assumption that college will help them
$ a# Z; @3 y0 _! n* D8 Ubecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* w& }' k( h5 [+ J% n5 tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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# `9 ]  S; u8 _BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 X; d, \/ D3 J# ^
6 \2 k2 }  _2 V! {9 I* N9 f% Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 a/ D6 O4 z' Y  R2 V% A( |- {) Ufor life if you play your cards right.




) J- w3 N- w% ~% i3 c6 y- z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) a8 v  e4 l4 I# q2 qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! Y* `4 C8 t  I& l+ qletting them know they are appreciated
) U: W% Z7 N. I: l9 x8 Pfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# a8 G+ F7 M; }+ \2 V  dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.