Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, h) k, _% O/ U; ]9 o1 qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 p2 r8 R2 a1 [9 N# `  W; e( vJOB DESCRIPTION:
) y. w' d: }& A+ j* ILong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ A# h+ [. M0 g- h! rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- e. z, y# i. z5 Uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 m( ?/ i; ?( A1 \0 G8 S3 b+ uExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 D  o+ w: n" x2 M; @/ l2 G- fThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 m, n6 t4 t3 y& ^- l) ?/ ^# H& c' \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 z: ?9 p" y/ g; V5 ^6 u# {and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 G) ]/ R9 w% N: `* W9 I* ?( Din case, this time, the screams from
/ O6 L! W2 f0 jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  X9 m7 a+ d6 X" ~1 @+ xMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 {1 K& z8 b* r1 J: T: Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# j2 t- J* c* G& o# A% Y0 }1 XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ q, l- J2 Y9 l% W2 u1 h* ]an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 a" T7 ], B8 Z  R7 fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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/ s, n5 ^. ]) |1 JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
7 c9 l* J9 D3 _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& |4 B9 @/ W1 Jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
& g# g1 D5 B5 t! Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ w( k! R) M% e8 U! M6 ~) P: `! S( zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* p9 F6 D! [4 v8 l+ gGet this! You pay them!
9 f0 F( o2 y1 O7 U/ TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 k) J# T, N" n' w, S$ z6 w3 T4 wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& g0 F  ^! t/ s3 m0 _4 F+ j. qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ T: @/ k! g) ABENEFITS:
8 c! r# g8 k: Y" j% y( [' i$ Q9 sWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: O4 P8 y+ z4 v# |# [1 |0 ?# v6 z) Ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' Q8 m/ e' }7 |/ [# Q* H) \
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 u- W( |5 f0 ~4 R$ c+ lfor life if you play your cards right.

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- l5 d+ R8 j; \2 D; J4 j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" _) [& K7 k7 I$ `, L3 [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 B" `6 _$ i6 A* v: qletting them know they are appreciated
. h+ ]6 b( U' J( ]3 Cfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.