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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
( U6 }0 ]( V' t/ s! yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma : D( |, X) e+ B9 q# t, \, M* _: A" m
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# O, R3 n9 h& T* k; ]& `JOB DESCRIPTION:
, T) a6 C, s( P) i) z8 X# eLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 _; Z9 C6 T# W8 ~9 c2 opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 C2 Q# \8 r) F2 qCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 H" R* Z9 ?" j- d% [+ Z& b: }and organizational skills and be willing to work ( |9 ]  S6 x) x7 ~) H0 g$ b
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, m1 @5 T( n8 Y  G% eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 5 `# v% t4 L3 R2 s4 H+ z
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 1 o2 }. n! _+ F* ~
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 w: _- S; C6 c$ wendless sports tournaments in far away cities! * ?1 w! b( v* Y, F
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ( Y: K. j* q" S" P0 F- E5 L
Extensive courier duties also required. : g; \  \5 |; ~
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ ^1 u# _  P% \, @% h$ C2 m% sThe rest of your life.
9 [; p. U) u( V4 J* j. w7 }7 eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 j$ X+ d% P7 {; s- X" _- N$ ?4 ?until someone needs $5. 0 j; _( [7 M" H
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ( B/ ^- J/ b$ V. q7 }* m" U% B
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! U  b+ G; i( r* Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: q; ?& I* a1 c9 ]& \- ]in case, this time, the screams from   P( s7 x" ]% q* E0 ?  Y% u, l. m# _2 k
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 3 r- Q0 i: y8 }2 G$ ^
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  X+ p$ ]0 i. ^) H* P" dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! D! f6 U9 F) dand stuck zippers.
+ ~( a; _) v5 i: v3 ~' QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 2 T7 [7 N; E0 O
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. $ r& F  a- G8 J  a) a
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% g0 ~& L. P  Q  WMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 \: _8 k. ?+ r& o+ B! J+ s: Zan embarrassment the next. - M* l; Q5 n$ p: Y9 f, d' U
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! S6 A( g6 W, @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 g% O. V; f1 kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ( G2 Q! l/ ?3 R* `
Must assume final, complete accountability for 1 r- |3 L5 K7 [' \5 Q" e
the quality of the end product. ) ]' l$ u; |# J4 Q4 n9 b. i; M# L
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" P5 p3 w: I( T, w) a- Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility. 8 a( s; y. `. d' }) q+ k  P

3 N3 t" T7 E. u: n5 [( W& l1 z, pPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- U1 N* I, v2 w; ?! z2 @None. 1 J" D: v! J- P' V3 v
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, " Y, D7 w1 l9 j& ]# u  c
without complaining,constantly retraining and " i; g  S( ]) Y
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ) W: ]0 i0 \1 [& g6 n
can ultimately surpass you.5 A* n$ `/ f" ]) [0 N2 f

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1 X. G' C9 G8 b# y2 b5 n* b9 M' rPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% x% |5 q" j4 j! g" b8 ^None required, unfortunately. $ y/ n+ @- h3 b" D+ O
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% m* ^- g0 o5 ]% G; nWAGES AND COMPENSATION: ; b$ H# D5 `7 q) O3 d# S; ~
Get this! You pay them! ! E' e/ R) W/ G7 v7 ~2 \9 ?9 Z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ! d/ A1 V$ g  G1 R# Z8 u, I* n$ _
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 `4 @; G( Y2 Q' L  b  _5 u5 Gof the assumption that college will help them
# u* V" [! S) `become financially independent.
" T7 d1 ?. B( g2 N5 Z" wWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. ! t; s8 N( ~4 Y: ]
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 2 I2 p; L  [& v6 W7 F' H) i+ N
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. . r5 P* c, [  S& ]! Z+ p  k
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BENEFITS:
4 }8 r, z' T/ t5 jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ! Q7 O0 F2 N- u5 I! ?. s: l% e
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ a, h% i, O, N. jno stock options are offered,
" t- j( R# ^; Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses & G4 U, h( C1 }7 q1 @0 F

1 k- a. W% n. l3 b  gfor life if you play your cards right." w, K) e+ ~7 {* N+ T
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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, ^$ A, C3 F# Z4 F  PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& E9 y* j, u9 L" g" N7 Pletting them know they are appreciated
+ i! R: r. u7 e; H8 j3 @- Ufor the fabulous job they do...
; T% F1 M$ _; F, p% Gor forward with love
3 d% a$ v. ?9 Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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