Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 V5 F( ]; n0 D3 N8 ZMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 U' z0 j1 g  N4 u" |8 uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ A% T+ L$ U. p9 A* _4 @Long term, team players needed for challenging,
  n5 h; _6 `2 ^) c3 E
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 j' L+ u0 x/ G1 F4 u- HCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 ?0 T, L5 c. t' O2 ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 d- K7 U4 h) X( ^9 \4 tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* P+ L, U- t) ?& W2 [3 ~2 D3 f- ~& BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 Y3 O4 F  _* ^2 E: [  vExtensive courier duties also required.

0 ]! V) j* b/ H* ~2 zRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- B/ q3 w4 L* ~0 dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 K2 n! s; a2 |( _; s; hin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, y7 }* n5 R- Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 H" V9 G1 f! E% p( ^5 s9 i4 u  B9 F$ Uand stuck zippers.
0 _, k' H6 Z' HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 {" w" {  y$ Y. s; _% Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 y9 i# ]8 c) s# e/ y) GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( }1 Z2 Q/ S; \! Y5 G: \Must assume final, complete accountability for
% E# A0 l9 d1 C% c8 Z) Vthe quality of the end product.
( @' W; r7 t  q3 Q; AResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
0 y7 _1 ^& G+ W  @
" q; W. a; j( K2 W  y0 ^; ^( NPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& ~  w7 y6 f9 ~$ N# KNone.
% Q( U; N1 y% aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" S3 I, H7 v& {: A; ]6 Vcan ultimately surpass you.
: `6 V* [# D7 A* H2 q" N8 r

+ v3 @, L4 j0 z; \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' L/ G7 H$ E2 p- tNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; r+ L5 Z4 V- O. F/ Q
# c! ~6 ]+ U7 uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* |6 [1 J/ V) t8 n! R5 `3 r) }# R0 ~Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: b7 I4 M1 h' _% g3 Z/ G2 Z/ \3 Wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# D0 ^  \$ ?! ?The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 b  u6 [4 L9 |, R
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 ]: q4 F/ z( P! i8 `: @9 Qno stock options are offered,
" s: `! A& E) J5 Q$ U1 `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" w& R  l0 G2 N. b2 X, E% B3 v
% o* D# y# F& M5 f) |4 Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
8 Q" s) C0 I3 h+ d, [/ X
for life if you play your cards right.

7 j& H9 @1 I. u6 @# M

2 g& ]5 H9 @% {. B- F' K
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



$ z$ Z" v7 w# b! L0 g2 G' gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

9 e+ g) G6 Q8 W" U4 n/ p

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.