Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ O, b0 _' v/ A. y" z- H5 S
3 s- y0 W7 U$ PJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# d9 w1 V0 K2 e% i7 u; S* R, Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; N. \3 ]: {6 hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ U# O2 h8 A* ]6 o7 H* T1 T6 Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 S% ~: A/ F& N+ x9 Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 a% R: j( C: {Travel expenses not reimbursed.
+ w. s; h' O  l, GExtensive courier duties also required.

8 t0 p# H9 k% }3 P! kRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
/ p- ]( d, m" C* c1 t/ G1 wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- s0 [% m6 C5 j0 V  Puntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' m, @' Q7 I; Y; b0 d& V9 P! xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# q; N6 W7 r3 j( Pin case, this time, the screams from
: J, [8 ^/ S/ D7 q9 Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" A- h5 Z8 z! H7 Z6 ]1 {% iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# R( w/ A0 s# l) J0 Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- K3 J: {. ?7 T$ xand stuck zippers.
$ G  B% X- l) w1 aMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& I8 K5 z* L7 tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 w& y  {! \, D6 n: z! B2 I4 lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 E& Q+ d8 q1 `( k( k& @& sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 O, h2 A( @# _2 |  Fan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) W  f+ }0 U( r8 H$ Y7 m+ L3 wMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! F7 e  Q3 P3 n7 J! ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. d( C" i1 `) w8 i/ _None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! X5 H# R; s- |& L1 z: VNone required, unfortunately.
  h3 C- j& K, j+ n0 ^2 POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
. w% n) K: c* x' h# p2 o
0 y+ c' v" f1 A" j/ F2 [9 c7 bWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, a3 D# d1 \. rGet this! You pay them!
7 u3 W. R  O4 X# C6 C: ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
" ~( T, p1 g  @, b6 A/ Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 j8 Z% V7 D: @  x' g4 ^become financially independent.
- ^. s) w, y# T$ ~3 sWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! r$ @4 I8 d% E( N/ c3 YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% i' I6 e- ]! N. C( Y$ d/ syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
& T1 K9 S" e. D# `$ J- z' b7 `
BENEFITS:
; F- G9 R5 O% T# c8 v) s* t, m8 BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 B7 _6 ~" b9 H+ E9 zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" a4 Y1 f3 g* l* rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

5 f/ g* r6 Q. N0 ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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  L* y1 n. j, K, X( g7 q
. ^& m& W! W3 |3 T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

6 p; y! X2 ~" `5 u" l

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# `% m* o; Y* y% e: e: cletting them know they are appreciated
! [! H; M# \9 K& b$ ^: Nfor the fabulous job they do...
1 I6 r9 X; a. k5 ^1 \or forward with love
# f# m. u5 v$ I1 L2 o5 Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
& V4 ]2 h% j, O6 g3 a% ?' I

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.