Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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2 y- N- N' `8 v. x4 eJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
  @/ E# g9 z  M7 ]- V2 z& }' P& f
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 q  ^% K/ S2 ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 J0 x! O% u# y$ e1 ^: g" Z" O1 yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) m3 ~/ Z- U7 T( m; ^) Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& _" e2 H% E  S- @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
) F, {0 e  s, |4 p7 d1 tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  r  R" C! M3 L4 bin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  u3 _' W1 r9 O5 e+ E2 t: f2 Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. w1 ]$ [& |( B& i; x+ ^* R  Dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ s& F6 j* O% T, [1 y& U& y9 uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, }. J0 U# X3 ?4 Hthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' n3 V+ f) ^8 Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

, j8 J3 ?5 P- Q& y0 APOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# a4 S. D3 Y. B# |# V$ b( p" X$ ONone.
5 [. R: c+ Z0 ]Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 ]$ o$ D: I6 j, E1 `6 Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
" J: _" u) U, e, f% `1 {. tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( j/ ]0 l# U/ N6 S% Ccan ultimately surpass you.


2 d% y% L: v6 J3 m5 s9 i$ H7 ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
& N6 Z% b0 d( S; c  r0 {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% @, c) l$ N  z4 g# jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
3 z( T" a+ e. y: rWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; D" V7 I$ i8 Z* ]no stock options are offered,
5 ~. R0 ^4 Y4 xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 }2 F" I) p2 W0 }, Z* l
) p3 Z, A7 P) b( J# d2 yfor life if you play your cards right.

: L9 T$ o6 J$ l7 p$ h+ r6 `, _0 X


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
4 v8 q! `/ c. R. }9 G- Q; S
8 W1 C, Y. S. O  u( r7 ?* `
! X7 u% a: Z: f
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 E$ t2 }' ^$ j4 w) p6 a. z& Dletting them know they are appreciated
0 w' A& y! m6 y7 R( ^$ O; lfor the fabulous job they do...
# X0 `. d) F, {0 D2 ~6 ?or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

* c$ I$ p! S: ~

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.