Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ e! m* T; x( K: u1 L& G6 d" RMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


2 L, }9 A+ ?+ QJOB DESCRIPTION:
& y3 o7 V$ E: A" VLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 R; a9 w: L% C' M6 Q, Cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
( C& }  e! Y, E( w1 c# _and organizational skills and be willing to work
) Q1 M- ^8 E5 R6 p3 Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 O1 v4 Y7 j: Y) W+ l8 SSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 X9 _' l" i: f& H% u2 BExtensive courier duties also required.
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! D* F% |  V' V% g# R) u. X+ f! qRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ I+ F  v, j) guntil someone needs $5.
6 B/ F! b/ |* j0 u, C' |9 dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( P: V" Q; T8 gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 i2 U0 ]- \. ]& v+ Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 G2 t% \- ^/ U6 o) S: ^: A) w0 ^in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ i% n& e5 r# dMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* O. P/ l; S0 H( r0 X7 P* Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  F  h# C- D% r. R& H4 B; RMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ q  y3 i" b/ l/ p0 Fan embarrassment the next.
# k7 @+ W" V+ i7 ]; }9 TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 y, D* T8 m# G) }' d- c7 N5 D* E* sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
& B9 V* y; T+ e1 h& qthe quality of the end product.
. M1 x- B8 D: O0 \$ kResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

4 g+ k/ L3 j- j/ hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; r3 ~* T/ U6 S3 C- r  U! Lcan ultimately surpass you.


" F' l$ F5 N6 T7 Y3 e0 nPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 N6 R3 n' k8 I: X2 K# GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 o! n# H/ i. q/ ?WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) i! z8 v4 a5 w' _) f& \% ?/ p; H/ f5 EOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ o+ W9 Q- g7 e: z2 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 w/ y& E) `8 k  O4 @# I* KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 \6 `- H# m9 ^: x. a, q4 A- |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- s- M/ @: [+ ~no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 h9 C! B' l3 Q, ?* g& T% bno stock options are offered,
' y6 j7 E* w% ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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4 C4 P; ]0 P) T* eForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 e! e8 @8 B2 X- ^3 G: bfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ s8 c+ o* E4 e4 ?1 Y: rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.