Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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% X) {+ |8 B8 g; DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

* l5 N; K+ M, A4 F8 n* rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' Z: D) m' x! D, u: L2 N: W. WCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! H4 n1 x; C  d' E) {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 o; k8 P4 X, v7 ?# x  vExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ i2 H9 {2 d' w! l$ ?The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 {( n8 f- U; R& C. s; s! }Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& b0 @9 o0 T  r: X5 iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" [( l0 _! M$ w: A, ~in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
2 O7 E6 y2 @0 fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( c: f! y) T* f# ^1 c$ hMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
, ~" l7 N$ n* E/ w0 h6 G. hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! ~" K" J- E" L' v" Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 r$ J6 s8 G3 CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. E# B) N) Y  e5 M# M) F0 PMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 E! A! ^( i; X' y0 a" q# c- A( Zthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( z/ [; ^9 {1 }" ]: h4 ]3 A( y$ Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 C$ v. k& _! O6 nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 M, T/ `7 w5 ]/ f1 g5 f. N9 ZYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 R( ?; b/ ?: n& q$ [  I, ?6 Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* b2 Q: a0 Y9 ?8 W4 U; j2 PNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ K. t8 G7 I4 _7 C$ ]2 }+ LGet this! You pay them!
) \) V8 R2 w4 r0 [. `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
! j& E: o) u2 P" i5 u% t( [become financially independent.
5 e: n8 ?) g- Z1 {/ iWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 ^6 B' \: e/ j2 W, u+ F5 CThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 z! z& e! P! Q5 B; g+ U8 c$ cBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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/ U) N7 H* U$ h  ~$ ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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" f: ?  b/ }7 J' g* j' Bfor life if you play your cards right.


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$ l! R# }' H" T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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- i  t. \) r1 r6 d6 Q1 y% IForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) z) z8 H" s1 t" Q% R9 q' ~letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.