Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
, `( i, ?) s9 j1 o8 gLong term, team players needed for challenging,

: ?1 J# T$ p8 ]/ [) i! Npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, U5 W9 m5 X' x& zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  e" V6 F# \5 g+ @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
5 ~! k6 \- G* O2 i# c0 b- o* jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% J" M9 f& [% [' D6 h, T9 Z, W' h" Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( ?* V2 I, V& H3 m, xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 x# ?7 s- ?9 T. ^6 e! `- runtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 y# O' p' b' A2 H1 CAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 Z( i) i9 s2 jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* f0 |' f. {$ ~1 A' o& W7 Sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ \* b5 E7 O7 O9 p" dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ @/ F: d& A' f" `3 }' w1 [and stuck zippers.
" j" H6 Q' h4 cMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 L6 p3 }+ j+ `1 X  can embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! R) e, Z, T* a& Q( M' l9 VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 k2 h, t) w  _" f! NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
7 G1 q$ K: j# IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 G1 N9 s, A& z6 A9 ]can ultimately surpass you.
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4 P7 U* s% w4 D$ e* a3 c
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 ?  g. A* C8 J- z- NNone required, unfortunately.
+ L) T+ J0 D3 c/ R5 ]! o( j7 S: v" nOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ z' _1 S3 y) E: o. ]a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: i2 r" _7 N' ~. EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
1 c) {1 C; t( ~9 }7 B0 e8 IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# Y6 B( _) B+ d5 ~/ r8 bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) Y. w. x/ o3 Mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

1 d+ m% R4 s+ C0 j0 n* k0 ?! |unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



8 y, B# \" ]! x0 N2 s/ y- VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
& i0 a( w8 y$ D, T3 ]0 Afor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
- L* D& S1 P( jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.