Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 H$ ~0 J0 Z& n3 ?* n: W, tDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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# k% e- Z# |5 W1 o5 u/ P: OJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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# @1 S9 y3 Z2 {6 x3 p" E( d' D, ]+ a8 Tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- t7 @$ c* q$ I! V  h) _) Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
4 o: \. U' y; s# uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 m$ ]5 Z/ @7 }* a, z0 U! Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ d1 @( H( R4 b- aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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; R! O4 @/ b+ MRESPONSIBILITIES:
, Q: W9 d5 O1 ~. [- E; e& k' ]The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 T) Z  }- A  u6 k1 A: R; bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( X& a+ g+ M3 Win case, this time, the screams from
" m; A* A: n( s$ F; Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! b0 S' m2 Q" TMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) d) i$ S! [' `3 {, sMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% g3 ~; P* ^8 ^( @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- l' o: a( t! a0 T0 G. Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  G  ~' ]) e6 JMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" p7 G3 n* f# |3 d* m5 ^/ pResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

% x! k8 {2 u, J% L0 e1 VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
' d" W8 ]; ]" n! C" }without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 H. s2 B( r) q/ K6 Oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" {9 Y( y4 o3 ^& K9 V7 P8 |3 JNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 J: x% E3 X* G0 X' R9 R* b* x, PWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 G. D8 m# ^5 `9 C& L2 _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% I  v+ r  p' \- m  f, l& p( _a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 q8 e& d2 j) e* F+ D$ m) iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# f* p- o- @$ q6 b' h4 hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' O2 |1 d- c* Q# E8 y7 I5 _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! j8 n) ^9 P8 Y# Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ B& U" G; x0 y8 sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 ~* k6 [. y2 Z: I0 d0 M2 t+ _2 @% Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

+ T+ s* Y0 }, sfor life if you play your cards right.

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3 ^$ j& w. b$ P4 e% j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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  D# F, [  I6 A3 HForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
( L- p5 z, V. o4 ~for the fabulous job they do...
. U% i' t8 N$ D1 t2 Gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.