Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" V) ]$ y' L7 v* F5 ], G. v: v7 i/ UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! F# F  U- ^" V/ WJOB DESCRIPTION:
- O2 F2 {0 s  b0 _8 Q/ BLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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- ^/ t/ @( p5 x$ t" u' Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
7 B; ]3 E- f. l3 r: O; k4 Land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' [- J4 c3 \- Q) g7 F* t( k4 _0 mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  L* }8 _8 ]: z4 cExtensive courier duties also required.

! i1 z$ A: c' B" `RESPONSIBILITIES:
' J& q1 G  R: K9 G" g$ HThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) e5 Z1 @! Q$ j5 A! W4 luntil someone needs $5.
( c$ i3 S1 G. {$ a* H) }: WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 z2 a$ d5 D3 }  f, }% KAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 D2 r$ b  n( q0 c! Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) g& e- F+ f" n, J: ~+ nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# @/ ~, w  k4 B1 L; R  A; \and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ Q" L3 i" |- w% ]' D. T2 _2 ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, u$ z9 P( |6 hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" W9 K) |8 A0 q5 m5 j' Tan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 O# N+ X/ f& r; Thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( N6 X1 i2 C5 r- B( Q% A# IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 ]1 K4 t! j# r+ z3 kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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$ X) n3 v3 w0 r# n2 a( wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 a: e2 P: P1 m- {; A& u" Ccan ultimately surpass you.


) l( c- }% |' @6 lPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 N5 V2 j, Z$ X/ k( jof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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6 @1 D/ H5 u" R4 pBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ x8 x' J, L7 Z  R5 dletting them know they are appreciated
5 k& ?8 F- |8 F1 Zfor the fabulous job they do...
* @, G1 g. w/ I( [! ^or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.