Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 v* D# x% A% z* nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
) E  ~8 j8 c4 _Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: ?5 W1 p4 }- eCandidates must possess excellent communication
. |& Y7 m4 ^/ O! M" |! jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ G/ u9 _) R! E1 w/ i9 hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 V9 X( Z% v* A6 jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
8 N  @7 f! X8 B( J8 vExtensive courier duties also required.
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" ^- }3 V8 {1 G0 rRESPONSIBILITIES:
" c! N3 o; z% x  `, PThe rest of your life.
" S" Q# z* c& o2 J: CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; H7 B: S2 B5 k8 g1 V6 a1 nuntil someone needs $5.
/ }: w$ [' r6 J( C+ q3 yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- C0 |, x9 w' Z# L1 m) BAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  B! B; C: k# y3 z! b) Hin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& w+ _: a" @6 a3 o5 Y) O, R% YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 s, E8 O6 ^/ O- lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  i. |& H7 C, d$ V3 eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 P- r9 I8 Q. Y$ K2 h) QMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ L& }, w3 Y4 d" V9 }Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) Z4 L) Z9 q6 w$ @6 n+ [$ B8 k- yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 Z& h) g. b2 q# S' \5 @7 f4 bMust assume final, complete accountability for
# b, |7 ]& ]2 {9 |the quality of the end product.
+ S( {2 m! T  p) t9 i) P; k! N$ M. m) kResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ z$ X8 ?+ b3 c% X5 O8 A! EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! P6 Q% o: w$ v* u& S) D" B" yNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- |8 [; I, z% o# i+ {, J$ ^can ultimately surpass you.

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% w0 u0 h% b  i6 mPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
2 l! c- ^6 L$ c6 HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' L) Q" N- `: H. p& DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" T7 |6 I6 W5 w) O* e1 h+ OGet this! You pay them!
! V( u3 y- ~( F: mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 n' t! A! i/ ^; n5 C. Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
) O3 y+ w& K" B4 w5 A( ^: L. LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
5 W1 c$ T) ^. n, |* LWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. b3 S$ @/ K1 d; z& u' bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

; K4 @( @/ P8 b8 G' {. F" u1 Sfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& G; v  F. V4 p$ vletting them know they are appreciated
# x$ f# j: g1 S% b7 \for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
5 w( O1 O6 a8 zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.