 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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' r2 o# Q( n* eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ; W% t) t' x5 E5 {) y8 L
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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' B, V( \6 G% g( y6 }/ K$ |+ dJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 c8 V8 j7 K- P' q: n$ ]+ rLong term, team players needed for challenging," l* Q% u, M4 T& U0 p3 o
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 4 c- E! x) _) X0 H. n, y9 |$ h; q
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 _+ W0 [5 W% J$ Qand organizational skills and be willing to work
; Y, S5 J. A0 I; M. p9 f! X% rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" g# s/ @% p% Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. * x, c4 ?* F7 j" U# a2 t% |
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& W R9 E; W+ yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 Q3 A) [. A# s1 Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& f2 o$ ?& o V; g( b* Z5 zTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) w- {2 q# ?+ [6 sExtensive courier duties also required.
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/ A- v3 m* \4 H) N( D0 {RESPONSIBILITIES:
* J( n9 A( |, ]The rest of your life.
: i% N7 G' K& R3 L6 oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) w( I" J3 } z2 ?2 u+ t" i+ {: @until someone needs $5.
4 s3 ]" A" H0 h- F) a7 LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. $ Y1 z# O( s# H) I0 x" P" l" Y
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* z1 m: C+ i x% xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ; c8 n Z- N3 F! {& V
in case, this time, the screams from , E$ w4 h$ `0 _) A! P
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. & r& ^% d) a& E/ o
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! }4 w5 {( i, ` n# wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! O4 @: M9 p& Y' ^, r+ Mand stuck zippers. ) d" R+ q! i* r' D# v2 ^0 Y
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- D7 w, q7 q0 w; ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects. ) q$ r8 w0 {% M; H& ]4 u6 ~: P
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 8 C, g) Z* o3 V. ^$ ^4 m
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 1 V5 R. N; J3 T+ d* ^
an embarrassment the next.
. `7 l9 [/ a; K' A mMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. ^- I& [3 S4 T2 f+ A& ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. / c1 ^3 H. G9 s) P. K4 _ l
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. % R+ T6 {& q5 ?; a
Must assume final, complete accountability for
& m% u6 `0 N% [the quality of the end product. % w, ~& A) N$ V# F' R# z% g7 b
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 5 l2 r& l4 ^" a$ P/ g1 P
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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, u3 v2 n. _# ]: U$ FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. B! N# p2 y9 S' ANone.
" O5 v3 \6 }. j4 ~ X! `$ ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ; I S/ v. q) B+ y- a3 C- v. S4 n
without complaining,constantly retraining and 2 X' _" ^# Y2 [9 {- j
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 o$ I( F( P+ R0 v/ S, M0 G; Ucan ultimately surpass you.
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' v6 A4 f( y9 iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 3 i8 J- N7 X5 W. v8 T* {
None required, unfortunately. ; L. {0 @4 i+ j1 S" T" ~
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. }" m j+ j) J+ N- g* ], p
6 J# p2 Z1 q! w. b0 RWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 9 ~2 \: u& H# Z; B& ]
Get this! You pay them!
3 t. F t0 d7 P2 E% ^7 S. s; jOffering frequent raises and bonuses. ) S" i/ l* L; r5 d8 ~0 M- M
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ! ^& y' \/ Y: h' j5 Q8 y3 [$ o) j, x
of the assumption that college will help them / x% c/ [, l. F' R+ R$ H
become financially independent.
$ J" [( T3 I! S+ [& M* V9 ~% wWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 G/ R% t K7 Q9 w) KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" t# s! Z+ p0 I/ M7 |( Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 b* a2 K5 S. G0 g) K Q; t( x% `BENEFITS:
: T% a- K3 u5 q/ ^% B# \( A/ A, TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
B4 ?6 _' `; o7 m8 R8 v8 Z2 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ M6 s& J# ?1 G" ]no stock options are offered,
) `4 @/ x+ j7 r: M3 w, I8 s( lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % F. L' a0 x6 [* G9 J& ]
( ^6 D; C: G2 r/ W- g- W3 @6 ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses # m: p$ Q: R6 z) m0 c, k
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 9 _. b n2 `4 T& j
letting them know they are appreciated
- y8 f5 Q: k8 h+ \8 {2 |for the fabulous job they do... ; ?+ E5 p9 f/ q; [ h) a
or forward with love 6 I: A7 U; _9 t `, P. o5 C
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
