 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ) {: o# h3 [( O& B- D- p; o7 { Z
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa6 Q, q- G: I _% [" q
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JOB DESCRIPTION:3 a3 y8 F# C7 C- n( E
Long term, team players needed for challenging,0 }! S) C) ~* C
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 ~5 v! r+ x6 a* o6 {) ^6 ACandidates must possess excellent communication
- o. l; K8 a/ e' s+ {3 {0 r- t& Aand organizational skills and be willing to work
3 }, J2 `5 E& K; _, k. ^/ s2 fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends / B9 d4 O' S8 |
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
h6 }. |* X0 [1 V) aSome overnight travel required, including trips to # O& q8 u7 Z, X* f
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 4 q$ k! V* `6 c$ p3 m! |
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 Y/ b! ?$ l2 f2 t8 Z# ~Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" b. _0 `# J* m- t( F* X, w3 |Extensive courier duties also required. . M9 m+ n* v) Q& _
, d; O7 u7 O6 M% W0 n5 DRESPONSIBILITIES:+ \; A% T8 B/ o1 C! x8 U7 d0 ]; \
The rest of your life.
* W4 G2 c5 @" m. Q+ Y/ l5 oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 W, j# J# l6 c$ g1 Cuntil someone needs $5. 9 i# [/ j2 T# i: i
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 x2 m z& H- DAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 5 D4 C( F$ |4 y- v7 f3 F
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- z& p4 C* b/ V7 G+ V; ]# Ain case, this time, the screams from
: T" e; Q6 p O- D3 H7 K0 \the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ; y+ R7 K9 @' W2 w" V
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, . Z7 v. Y4 B0 v' a
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 7 S: i) z. d4 s8 p9 c
and stuck zippers. : E( J* E3 E# t& s
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. K9 p4 b9 B7 M8 F1 ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 Q) a, Y4 }; G6 x& oMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 6 E4 H% u0 N! k, R+ M& T0 z
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( Q$ e9 K+ L+ j b6 u$ C
an embarrassment the next. 6 \# C( ~ R" G0 F2 w
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 4 j7 ?# `3 Q/ f8 b. N% C8 X
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. s3 J3 n( y' h; W$ JMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 [6 z4 |' R$ u6 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
b2 I V, u& Q% Uthe quality of the end product. / ~4 Y) f3 H/ l! d5 L% I7 ^
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ' t6 a- n8 ^7 I) G# G$ r {
janitorial work throughout the facility. 7 z+ F2 P2 ] c* k
2 {- \! F E ~; p4 r6 @. E$ VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, D: z$ o# k6 J K6 T" hNone. % L, L$ R- p0 D: L2 V& T
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: D7 E8 j" O. y4 _8 Swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 m" d% f, c+ t c* Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 8 M. P- |2 b8 e% b" a
can ultimately surpass you.% Q0 S) d8 `/ a( _4 L9 y3 W
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& s( _ |% l& Q* qNone required, unfortunately.
; U# T( E: ~* ` [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. & i) {& A) b/ `
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 x8 D0 A5 }# P# e( YGet this! You pay them! 9 ?/ }1 h1 E9 c( `: I
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 9 P4 ^8 ]. c8 I: \5 Z9 h
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ( F6 f/ u2 ]5 j. v$ [
of the assumption that college will help them ; k3 p+ B k* U% {8 k& l: u
become financially independent. - n# n+ p/ {0 X0 ~. X$ Q5 z
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# ]1 u+ c2 e- g9 u( bThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 8 T( y2 n' F- G3 B; F, u; r
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 6 H9 e: r6 H2 l9 ~
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BENEFITS: 8 R& U/ p: C/ [7 I0 O
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
d& Y2 f1 w2 G) O" Sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and * S) {& I9 L6 e3 P
no stock options are offered,
. j7 q2 [. w! n, ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, , w; ]) V9 ^. ^$ X7 E4 V3 p( A
6 W8 R. z6 [( H: }7 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses / f! l% W. w5 W
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( N; T/ t [# s/ \. Zletting them know they are appreciated 9 h" Y1 o4 L0 q+ {8 z7 z6 c8 p7 y
for the fabulous job they do... $ h" n2 y3 ], S, j, A- b( q6 E
or forward with love
4 ^! T0 `% n5 @8 O& }3 E: tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
