Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, B2 ]/ B; I, e1 j3 `Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

, \, G2 ?) b) C: r
  e' ~+ ?) X8 D% kJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& m2 e3 w) {( z# X% F$ ]7 KCandidates must possess excellent communication
- C" [3 @4 y- |" s/ `  R  ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 s6 |! N& ]9 \8 h% d+ tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 g4 d( D- g# ~  M5 |and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& v" f! f6 \. D# q0 w0 NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& r  {! l: Q  a; z" mExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
: z9 B. U. B7 p3 M' tThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ M: i! \7 i: B" W# O  cMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- B1 S3 {! C  yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" g; v$ K" C. k, q. w) ^' x& e1 T/ Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: Q$ m1 x& O* C- U  q8 j$ C, Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( j/ T- y% U, |- Xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* Z& q( S: R: j+ e0 A& o2 U2 TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! e7 ^5 M" f* ]5 L' xan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 X8 ~+ h# I1 k, d* c& I7 Q. mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 N( T8 O+ C0 s- }Must assume final, complete accountability for
  M% b$ G0 F1 q- vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 N1 G5 B& x5 [3 O" D) t* wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
% [' O, y9 ^4 ^2 ^
& ~! w  M- e- {5 ]: k0 ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 S) F. a- L% J) K( U$ UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: e+ D/ m/ X3 P5 H1 hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 m' V; ?* B, u8 }  @; ~7 Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
; @3 ^7 d0 j  e7 s) V& U6 Y$ J

2 M* M7 p( f. q0 u; xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 T$ a5 F2 ]! A2 d4 I, SNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
. l/ d( T5 H; m& l- R
8 I7 r" }4 I; F9 J$ M# m) fWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& _& z4 `% ^0 D( d! t) i4 f" xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( H) `2 T& `; Q( w7 O7 b( fThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& S1 y3 I, [8 E, _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( b. H4 A5 ^3 r) pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 s  U* x0 v3 Q& E/ Bno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
7 l* A" N& j( F$ q& Y/ x; M
7 @  {( Z  T2 C4 g( tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
! f: e. [1 r& l; U2 {
. b) ]3 A# f# T# y- }for life if you play your cards right.



; e9 i: m3 Y( _& h
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
/ p0 H! ?/ {9 d
& U2 ?  `$ [. j3 f% P- N
6 P$ e' L1 w/ M! M
/ K* a1 l2 @9 _% K" V# s4 wForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

; H/ i0 A$ H- O; S$ F# d6 Z3 r

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.