Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  v5 R( x& b/ d! JDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
8 C3 A6 Z) m; u) o9 x) vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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2 l% m7 ~; d# w; s# O/ apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, f' I7 q3 i5 e: ]/ Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 r0 N* p. b" N4 f1 t. `and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 {7 Y) I/ ^& `- e% w8 ^* Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 {" J  U' F+ }) S% t' Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

& A4 z1 Y, E6 n. T4 j) hRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 A' H) V- E4 t: u# o+ Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 X2 q, @. k& v3 c6 GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ L8 X6 q/ G' t! \/ }! \4 jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 C, I7 U3 Z# \& E3 Aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 a; Z2 y% E& ?1 Scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 ?/ d) Z  @) |$ C- xan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  U5 l8 i  w% G" f% r. l/ M3 ~$ L2 vResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 z7 {2 w4 R7 A  z& K5 W# p* vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ H# h5 o. |! U; x3 P% O% TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 |/ E. ~0 ]5 k! }6 c) p/ ^7 j0 fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, t2 K+ L6 F2 D8 Y- x$ pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: r- T$ D! O+ [; z, A2 p; Ecan ultimately surpass you.
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8 w- J9 w% d1 D4 c" a% gPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 ]" e9 ~% I$ `- a. ^) eNone required, unfortunately.
+ q* Y+ A" j2 _4 c' o# HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
% v/ x0 Z7 _) @* _. P+ F# aOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ a1 N# q5 O% Vof the assumption that college will help them
( y: s4 t! q  n% B* W) e: I9 Ebecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 I( x& K1 f# s2 u' `9 hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
+ K  M- t! Q9 P4 a/ ?7 gWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ x! A" t( N/ I; }; Z* Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ q3 X% X! u5 d: R3 j# p0 Q' wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

, P4 ^' Z( G8 G& {unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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/ G( U" K1 f3 L) p** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 S. o0 \( \- v" D( Vletting them know they are appreciated
0 N0 {& K# N2 r6 Q  o- g- Bfor the fabulous job they do...
- q& \/ o& w1 E" i7 Kor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.