Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
0 ^( [& T  V& ]
) |1 _4 t* _; b) f0 ^% U0 Y
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 e- y# f$ n3 Z) G4 X! kand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( w6 [5 n  A! k/ qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( _+ |! l! p1 C. s0 R- B; SSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& b  _/ j5 v& x. G1 s+ ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: R) t( j; i; ?. TTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) V$ y4 D$ |2 |( \, |+ `4 OExtensive courier duties also required.
( \$ P( D, F) [) L3 p* D
) o. q9 C% Y6 m$ TRESPONSIBILITIES:
( K% P$ ^$ Z6 O1 n+ fThe rest of your life.
4 z' f. n+ j: i/ r: a+ Q) gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 p/ \. m: }" z* A: U0 }Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" L8 d& x9 x8 t; }8 R5 |" G& c, JAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 c$ L/ l5 m0 _" r! W% wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' I- v  ~$ u6 Y, XMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; F  N; F; Y# U1 ^5 Han embarrassment the next.
0 x& N0 _% t1 r' R9 y: hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ ^  A" u4 N& m3 l! G8 YMust assume final, complete accountability for
8 u+ z8 o5 R( Ethe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
+ m! U+ z7 [: K4 O2 X( L
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ k; N  j3 ~2 _3 t8 V' L, D$ a/ tNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
& {! b+ D) w& o9 Y9 oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( I7 r& R9 F! a. i9 {: qcan ultimately surpass you.

; D6 f+ W) ?7 }) M' X& {4 a" s3 i
! s9 l" l4 _5 p8 `PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ \2 E! T0 _( b. ]$ gNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
. E- k( K* \/ f$ o" P; O
! d# C6 @/ W7 B7 ~- F& rWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ m+ P+ S3 M/ J# u# Kof the assumption that college will help them
; K, U5 g1 Z2 Xbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& r( g) d3 i  \' K& ~  G1 _7 Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
! [( p( _+ w6 {- y7 h9 P
BENEFITS:
7 f2 m5 d( l( mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! T! d% \/ e. Y& Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
& p) H1 B" t  K$ M1 ~# w) U8 X
1 l6 w  j8 T& K/ `& L4 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( n! {& p' O  B# V5 z
for life if you play your cards right.

# z1 [; `2 m5 ^2 w6 L


, {% i7 K9 o0 i5 {8 O" q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

" T8 ]. J* I: L+ ]* ^! P; ~9 L- B- ~
6 s4 o, t2 u: l- g. Q
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
/ J7 E' F1 _) \- Uor forward with love
6 g( _' r4 R" J  ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

, x, H& [" {0 v* S: p0 Q

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.