Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& I  m  j  O2 U) j. t/ AMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
; O2 {1 e' k# c) a! j/ p

JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 @  m8 ^) l5 f# zLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 Q- O7 z/ R7 p* D, b) Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' H/ _; E+ {7 f0 F+ I0 CSome overnight travel required, including trips to
6 u9 x' h) m3 q. Q' f. uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# {4 I( p! F2 P; l8 f, Oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 p' e3 D2 ~: u0 M/ j) WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 u  k& X: c% j7 L7 U* J( zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% H% f1 D0 o3 h/ v( |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' D2 D3 W. x- kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. Z- S) V: N1 a2 ^in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: _. E. I5 O8 [4 x) A0 lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  E' w5 o9 S2 d# N8 a6 a2 Pand stuck zippers.
9 f3 b& h& \6 R2 r- [! d  CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 q$ J# E- M7 D; Y! S* f3 NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& d9 d4 }8 q. v: nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, L3 E- [0 R& `) I3 m1 M" x8 @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 |! n8 ~; r: G$ m* wMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 f  F+ y& t- Rthe quality of the end product.
/ T. X; N1 o; o: h. t' @7 e0 K9 mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 S9 Q3 Z) x6 T; b; |% G& e; o; y, mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
3 c( h4 C* ?, y: |7 r5 m7 j
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) g+ Z8 ], N8 y5 sNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ `5 _8 J7 R! X, u* Ccan ultimately surpass you.


9 a2 I& C7 D4 T% ]PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- X8 z- ^. U) b. mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 ^9 Y7 y7 j, ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! K' w0 Y7 ~: H+ R8 k: P9 XThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) D# G9 ~  p4 }4 B7 ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& l1 Z9 Q/ o$ d3 J0 D/ ~5 dBENEFITS:
8 P: g/ ^! N5 m+ o' E/ \/ t7 JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* x, H6 F; r% Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 ~7 d% K: }' Q/ @* s4 v2 ]no stock options are offered,
  o- X6 {/ q- c4 T8 w( s" x! `1 bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
" \  K2 N( F3 I; `8 q
for life if you play your cards right.
6 {& g; g9 e$ D% \8 i

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* e; {% N9 W7 n. Y# U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- v' v* s' b4 Y6 y+ a. Z4 C

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.