Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 i- x) F( _7 t. G. o0 N7 lMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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& A4 T8 v( ?( N8 S7 JJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 A4 V2 Q2 d2 L/ \  }Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; q5 B) ?7 O; l+ h. k9 `$ \and organizational skills and be willing to work
- y0 z7 Q9 N- k1 o7 g( |% f7 {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! [0 q2 H" R- {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 _, o" Z8 R4 b  w- Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 H* }) p$ ~$ G2 x1 cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 b% S8 {) }/ ]  F2 l* ~0 oTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' {: E; ?/ T1 ^7 [, dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 o1 O' R3 o  r) ^* K; {until someone needs $5.
/ ?. ~$ B% ?' m4 ^+ q2 K: sMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 G7 P. s( U/ V0 UAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; E, y1 E$ }# S+ c; r' Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 k6 i1 O" }4 |1 S4 v: Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 ^* x9 c2 v& g2 m" dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ w4 u3 z, @' M) r+ X7 YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: C# b3 u+ w2 mMust assume final, complete accountability for
. n8 g% g& ^' x" T1 W+ r) \# v. cthe quality of the end product.
- m7 |! ^% P& S( K* s, s% P) \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 A1 Y! ~  k! E. ~" \  H& o: [janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: A! g3 |% g' Y2 iNone.
, P4 y& r* u4 ]( Z4 A: Q. G/ CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ V) I( }! H( C+ V9 g  [Get this! You pay them!
% a) B1 l* l7 X! jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ r5 X2 L8 j6 `9 S' u1 \. @/ bof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
; L) i1 x) Z7 Z  m% h( V' KWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
7 V8 P: J! Z$ v' O- KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 |- y" }! H- Gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 x5 M6 m" X1 G# m* X# W; cno stock options are offered,
: d( s: ?% u- `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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1 f! j# W7 p. F3 z- a* r** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) j0 J! g, |7 @, Aletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; [1 z4 A( D- P0 {or forward with love
' Z/ R8 R! `. G' E9 t# {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.