Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% n6 Q" Y5 z# t: H0 d5 FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

3 s9 ^& P* y+ [
4 v1 i2 m( F( b% [& |JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ t& D4 r9 ], ^/ Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" h8 ]6 G* w" \) L. C: yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 ~3 Z7 R) ]+ D# iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
) C( ]2 D' K8 ~" {, DExtensive courier duties also required.
6 j1 S* g9 i. O$ ~7 n* h5 }
RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 d1 B, Q: s# }9 J. R! b9 G) T3 o/ \The rest of your life.
$ U$ I3 k8 R+ {2 l/ N+ eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 P1 }1 X% \- V5 I- v+ w: Vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! p9 ]! ?7 W, Z* `4 K* h. U0 Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 B4 y9 I. p. S: j6 Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# w+ O6 I9 h) ]) t! b. mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& k2 N, t6 v* I/ x0 m9 Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% T9 e' {0 z) E2 GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, l  A& e7 h: M% ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 G" ~  e& s) vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
. \! ^! j. Y2 T& k- ^* kResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 ]2 R/ a! l& ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ O3 Q' z' ~( j! |2 u1 Q; yPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 ?2 y6 Z3 D$ I3 t& O% d1 O1 f$ T$ lNone.
- s8 Z6 ^9 }. r. Y+ Y+ ^5 PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
, ]1 s4 {3 P# a4 ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

5 h$ H" \$ T: q4 M
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 H' Z8 E' _6 `  i- zNone required, unfortunately.
: t+ ?0 M- Q! N6 R6 {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
& ~& o3 k( R+ q& Y% i- ?' `$ y
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" \/ ^' A3 ~* ?0 D% s6 jGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; b+ p, C% E% h! ^0 u& I, D& iof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 R/ @: ^" R. g  S5 PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- g3 N9 F* \- r3 h- d- p5 l; ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

2 v9 y! v0 ]6 m; z9 DBENEFITS:
# t3 {2 o1 A# r5 Y* LWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" C" F2 ]) |, ~; H3 b2 Vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% J$ j8 c% V  ^9 o5 ]
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
8 s6 u( j2 A8 A
for life if you play your cards right.
; y/ I7 ~: L. i7 n% v

* ?4 p. b+ |/ x: ^& o0 |. C
* [" m0 x7 x+ m, X; R
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


/ i$ D7 X6 j! X  q1 \
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 q' {6 C  R3 `0 D$ oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
( F( V$ A6 M+ p. W6 s# y; @) H2 i

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.