Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* p. m9 ^* ]; p. ~, N7 V! \% M) lDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 Z! ]. K- P$ Q4 N2 C4 LJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 S4 a5 b* g% l0 r9 r* L! q8 _* ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 O/ S  B% f. k5 |3 Q+ W1 DCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
! E/ d+ Q7 u5 n1 D0 S2 G( ~variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- X" m. d* [0 `9 qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! n! C- h  O9 D5 B9 KSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& k( p: }3 L: c! s$ V( eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

- A8 x  p5 }9 o$ }RESPONSIBILITIES:
) L# e% c3 O( T( s& H* O' q. v& e4 ^The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  Y' ^* Z! v9 p7 C5 `4 D; B* \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
. L( K4 u2 N+ s# X! nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 h4 I, @2 I& J! o2 i& JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 f0 U/ o2 y5 Q+ G! u5 ~and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  H0 T& m2 A: ]8 E' C5 z4 xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  e2 q$ t! d: X7 w( \- D) Tan embarrassment the next.
; V' g- v3 q) H' z: i2 ^) \, A' cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; D0 f+ a% S4 C% {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
0 [# X! Y3 O3 [Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& x: o6 a* e) sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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; ^% U% J: R7 a+ XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 K' D2 s/ ~$ pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
3 u% ^* v7 `4 M& lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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8 S$ a' W" \( V5 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 E9 S; Z2 O, lNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ T2 S$ c; w* Z# z6 zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ }! X; Y3 w# e6 m/ zGet this! You pay them!
4 e7 u7 d& C1 c# b; i2 I& W- COffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
+ K* \* m, d. ~9 l( ]$ ~% Zbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 M" m3 Y; o) J+ Q" F6 }  OThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 s3 h  _# S* L8 ~  O9 J6 nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
" R! u) S! s5 A' {7 m$ U7 Z4 \, \While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 m' {9 j+ p3 x% E, \) u9 t1 |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
: t5 Z% E3 m) K& B& m
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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& h8 j0 X- [! a** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
2 `1 E; c3 H3 x- a2 }" {or forward with love
/ N9 N' I: v: K& o0 u" U9 W1 B5 Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.