Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 w/ u. j, r' t8 lDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
' w) z- d  }4 P$ |) @2 h% U

+ W5 ?% G0 h- r1 \4 Q! cJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
1 b# r# J8 V, S( m
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
$ e4 @4 [0 P) ^) Y( i+ n( q! Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ N+ H' [& f! x; A# Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 c# c4 i. @) ^% `7 rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 J/ d9 d8 o7 o( _Extensive courier duties also required.
3 [/ `% f0 W5 }, T% D8 [2 h
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( w( y" N* Q- f* aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& {! @' W( ^: `# band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 I3 c* A0 {, Q) s8 D/ I( ^5 Yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 [! N' y4 q) o/ Z& tand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 S% q; o1 s& |# R4 k& W! @5 A' Lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ g& K) T1 L+ |) N4 e! ]Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 W* R0 ?. n, ~6 ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: S% D* m2 ^7 x0 }! xan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( b' A' D0 g+ _% c  hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 {9 V8 J! U% J- sthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
8 q9 }2 m- T& W( S
  n8 U4 `9 L( g% X+ A4 Q' {4 \7 lPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ T% M+ n5 f6 q! {None.
+ i- T' Y, Y+ i. Q2 m* |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( g! b7 b+ K& ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 C/ x+ {, S7 V! Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
% w3 n& F5 R- e/ B8 Q/ [8 S$ X
5 N1 Y* N4 |2 a4 {" P, I% ]
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! _# O9 `/ k4 J" F0 ANone required, unfortunately.
7 L0 b7 |6 }' q: kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 ~0 P% H6 x% ]* i! Z; ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
* d1 Q8 `% B0 ~8 k1 Tbecome financially independent.
2 F: [0 ?1 K& {/ ^, X0 M+ s& u; kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, E! f# I3 x- cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
& Q) @+ e3 [! U. C8 J* N
- M+ }2 ~$ }" R  v% r+ l# V) [BENEFITS:
0 A7 i/ `6 W# y& w% F3 eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) Q8 d# R, |0 E9 n4 zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
7 |$ }0 e: D& Ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ c+ ]* `$ ]6 J2 B. N( D
- F, C$ C+ u. K: K- `) Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( c% N( u% i: V* A1 |; k7 B
for life if you play your cards right.


0 ~% @6 L4 E' n# I6 Y4 A  y
1 e; j+ P9 F4 C! |. x
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

. r7 z8 h$ W" H. a+ B% `
  h9 X, y$ ]! s0 J/ B% e
2 K& D8 N/ x( _0 JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& O; }, |, D9 d. F- aor forward with love
+ g' z1 `0 P" M( x2 g4 x2 Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
  ?; r* z  e8 P1 _( G/ n4 C

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.