Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 Z- v' F- D( h+ x3 d9 z6 h, J  \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
( l. O1 Y( C/ f' y8 I$ i9 pLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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5 P1 v: T1 T$ xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 [; U, y  N& E% H; JCandidates must possess excellent communication
3 T! c3 n2 F6 `8 ~0 ~  Y! c; Rand organizational skills and be willing to work
& _; Q. |; ]7 ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 _6 S8 N. J+ v, h9 }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) `9 w5 N& W" x! mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, N. R9 u; n$ c0 vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 i- J4 y! y$ `0 ?RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
3 x  Z3 p2 o: y9 {  OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' K4 I- s' S4 z9 f2 ountil someone needs $5.
0 g( X! X9 @$ Y" y9 R5 FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ E! }% z1 u; m. \( d" q( uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- X; I3 @8 @& S5 L1 R& tin case, this time, the screams from
6 @9 Q1 ]3 z  x" _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 _9 k0 Q' D. f% f( y3 Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 L$ x) X+ t1 t* PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! _; p$ [' B* pan embarrassment the next.
7 L! j/ a. L( q$ N  I. Q+ a: [* {& x- PMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 @! P8 v6 n  P4 i; C" hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
! p6 e7 W" N" q' _+ _! K, }the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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5 p6 j9 [$ m% @% F5 ~6 Z9 G' `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) p" _1 w( R$ }$ O' J; ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ K7 ~7 Z6 E4 Z; i" c/ i$ Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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/ z' S% ~% O3 @PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, h& ?4 `- k  f3 B: CNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! C  |6 F. {7 Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# ]' F% T0 q( i8 e1 Y: {become financially independent.
1 K. X0 U9 |% t. A, R! W5 FWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  c, \' v* v/ F+ P! M6 iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
/ }+ z  i8 ^/ n% ^1 r) ^1 vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  k" U6 R4 S# |+ `- ~% Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
9 i6 K3 Q5 S' a  S+ Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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& N' v! Z0 V* ~7 ]  k** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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: _- y/ F" j# {; d+ |9 b  r$ {- }: oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% V5 l7 O" ?8 _- a( j# Dor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.