Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 h9 C) p' e/ t; Q+ @! R; {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 I- {$ I! z; q9 I: L  m7 ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

' R; ?8 @0 R& l9 y/ Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" t& w5 q2 ~' y1 s' Tand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
+ e1 \* o6 B5 D/ w0 J2 uExtensive courier duties also required.
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- E: c/ M' w; m; p+ g% NRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 P5 G' H! g& h1 A! vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ A- |/ i0 V" B  A& band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: g6 Z* i: l( V) i) [2 U' k5 zin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ @# Q' V# J/ ]' E. |' W5 ]' x( ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) U, \; X0 ^+ [6 Hand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 J2 r3 E0 q3 V. V" ]5 H* z* QMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% [4 m. s1 V8 y1 b, \# v" dMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. m$ U. e) W: ?. A1 x/ c9 X1 \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; B8 h9 l1 a# U/ j$ G$ EMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 `# I! e4 k4 f; T, j$ A. b4 B) h" G5 RNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 `3 i0 ]/ n. A& I- Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

$ n& y. b. b( v) x# l; q  i' h
9 z  u. P( \+ C: a5 s  S( wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. `- N$ O$ [! s" f. X/ @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) b$ Q; Y8 Q, [Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! f" I  a- ?5 T' o8 n! Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
( s4 k# Z. l4 {8 f" b; Abecome financially independent.
: A1 j% F: m/ K8 b' }0 g8 {When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: g6 o, S- l; u) f4 w1 n6 }no stock options are offered,
" Q( ~5 j) d( Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! ~+ [7 R, o$ `% q% m% h1 t' f* Q
# i2 C: [+ J# a% w, Aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

8 b0 y4 w0 I( Yfor life if you play your cards right.
2 ~+ G. Z: Q' O; c6 e

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1 `7 l/ o: a" S. W' E, @% T
3 v6 x, Z; S9 @% ~; b6 }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 ]. Y9 u% z3 F1 h  g& eletting them know they are appreciated
; D; N, I) P( R9 o- z( R' ]for the fabulous job they do...
7 f" `! V& p7 m" k: ?or forward with love
7 a' U# s: V% {3 K' S2 R1 o& G, g# N) rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.