Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 N: c) a5 |% i0 W& O. G6 GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% l6 F, S+ F4 K0 U' @, s# i% B0 FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
; A3 B. {  i  B& Q
4 Q$ O% v( \7 n4 }: F# H. e
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 z) ~0 b, I  F. X# m
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
+ ~% z6 H) u/ N/ z' ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ P) y; M. j( L1 Q) Q6 `variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 J) b: a8 y6 z: X  Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ }3 R  E# H3 i- o* V9 T6 Z1 q* Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- O( F; v3 c/ t4 A- t9 vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
7 [  ^1 F, J  d
! j0 h6 e4 M" N! BRESPONSIBILITIES:
! ?! O& {2 ]- ?# f% x# H) w5 a" H4 {The rest of your life.
" S/ {8 B$ i9 a9 Y* T) q/ c5 n9 [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. K0 U4 }6 {3 g" m- EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 I3 ]+ i# j" V* fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 d+ n* R: @) U2 {# hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; ?* ^4 h- U7 T( fand stuck zippers.
8 n; U2 u0 ~9 M; oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. X2 V) g& C/ r! O  b! @# w' \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. A2 [, I$ C' x/ NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
# d  r9 E: {. q* ^# k; i! AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; u- n$ P  M( Z( W* [: thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# i$ b: m# z3 M( R% TMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" q5 z# s% W4 x6 O+ r4 B) QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
6 n0 D, ]1 t  j. A  a
1 _9 J9 a& P! \+ V" DPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& J8 |' o5 ?1 N* wNone.
) N* e3 ]1 z6 a+ Q1 f1 x; mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 o9 K) ~0 i7 Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
* x7 t! U/ R* y% N( R- z2 r

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
" V( H7 s0 b3 |/ q' p- j& o
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: }! m4 W9 ?. @! ~) K, P% |1 C3 ^Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
7 x8 ?  ?6 m7 E) C! W( ]become financially independent.
. }. K3 k8 L! IWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
7 _# L! i* E% t
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# C) \4 Q  a. m4 |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
" U$ f- E% v. [( i/ D9 p
1 A' Q6 I) r6 D! J7 Y5 F8 A  F
( y5 }1 x( U1 K9 s

4 M9 R' R3 {8 A  {# g! [6 c& F: C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
- H2 f% s4 k4 U7 M9 E4 j9 b2 p' i

* W2 {! \6 J6 q1 ]7 ~( S
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 J/ v2 F9 M  n0 k8 oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.