Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


2 K( V5 h% X, c: Y, |9 AJOB DESCRIPTION:
7 \$ l0 O9 O3 R7 a3 Y) ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 O( s1 t$ M' |+ R+ o  ~, |* ECandidates must possess excellent communication
0 c8 ~6 \; q4 c8 |, p1 Q# a: Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; o4 w4 W/ z, w. r, NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
$ f1 y! r6 Y3 v! q; l: L0 NExtensive courier duties also required.
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7 ]8 Z8 y( L  i) lRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- @2 s- q+ J) I. i; o- Q% H& UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 m- w" t+ p( S# E3 quntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; w! d2 U2 ~9 r0 }- I# @in case, this time, the screams from
7 ?# w8 I, H# a$ D6 rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 q4 }; x+ c% ?; _2 A" Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ y& }$ ^; l1 ?2 [Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. I) g( A! j! X; i1 t# V. yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* s* t: A! a& r' M! LMust assume final, complete accountability for
3 E/ w/ W5 c1 k5 A/ L! Athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. X( p; f9 ]- ^9 ~9 U( cYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ _& J5 j' n( z7 P" t7 ]" qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% K+ K- \5 E) M/ ?None required, unfortunately.
3 `6 _7 s; y2 m1 ^* d3 t1 r' GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* H2 x# c) O2 }3 a* C$ v0 o2 Q" `" ?Get this! You pay them!
' u; Y. N4 k$ r; C+ M0 {) POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# M/ f" G( T5 X3 Eof the assumption that college will help them
4 h$ p  t  e% m# {- j9 e2 qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& m) O9 c# W' \  x, C0 S7 {; Uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 ^$ o7 W  c5 l5 C+ w" u# i% n4 IBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
' Q" G# z* N" ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 ?- R& j, K  g5 P/ o1 ~1 zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

9 l4 l% l0 Y: ~' Nfor life if you play your cards right.

5 @2 H- r- o" N4 O2 K4 ^


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
5 u: y- s, Y5 f3 W2 c  n
9 I9 _# p+ ?, @2 Y8 U$ t; x
4 v) t% j6 o% x- b3 e6 F- }
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ K4 R* z. h0 G& m5 hletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 ~+ H$ c( w: f2 u9 d' x" @; Ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.