Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% I+ |" d" k( ]; B3 kMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


9 A$ q6 ]3 U* k6 Y4 m8 P; u  BJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
. S9 i" m) D$ i. F) n6 d
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 g2 K; {& w! I5 N: fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 P; O7 X/ j% Y: Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 W) j" X9 m/ g& U* r& X4 RExtensive courier duties also required.
, I- M3 j2 x6 a' f, H* Q; S
RESPONSIBILITIES:
# i2 B! y7 X2 n+ B  o, yThe rest of your life.
6 a, b$ A4 S8 SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" v3 m; g! f4 C: o7 buntil someone needs $5.
# r: m* ^4 i, ^1 [  `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# e6 q" h. |# X: e0 h7 ^& WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 ^0 C0 U+ @7 A0 s) m: Cin case, this time, the screams from
; C, D1 ]4 d. e( g# E# V5 Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 K# ?. ^& s6 N% \and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( M. N, q7 X: m) Y/ v0 BMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" B4 i2 G# S9 y* fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 _# J1 o  n. u; c4 Tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 ]) V- F* }/ UPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: ?, S9 f( b) a) Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
+ o! m( `4 H0 Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
: D# e( r0 X3 k

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* ?! G& r% x, K; L; A+ Q3 X, g( |& `7 ONone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

% t% n7 f: y! L* P( DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; z3 D7 R: k. p; T6 l  _, N8 x# pGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 ^" i, U8 X5 {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) o$ N; r( y2 L2 Uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- J; X9 N9 j6 b! W. y* qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
6 H+ \/ J5 F& L& R& r) e3 o
+ Y  g+ W) D; IBENEFITS:
- F3 R5 R2 O1 f- P% t$ KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
  o$ Z4 y) R) |( {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 E) d3 O6 m( q! S. M% j& x
* P' B- F: o4 B' D# i, Eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

5 [" b  C3 x& i3 |
0 g0 i& Z) \5 ]
. i  A' a: b1 s/ h4 S
  z9 d' _( s$ p! h7 {* H! d9 N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
2 @9 e$ f+ p: }* T* b$ P$ p


1 p0 {& E6 U' M  r3 m2 G  OForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* K3 B- A7 x& c& p' U. G2 Uletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 c  V/ J) A" m+ l: o$ D; hor forward with love
+ y  B2 v3 R4 R% K- Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.