Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 H. Y2 M) ?9 S9 zSome overnight travel required, including trips to
: r) ^! h7 f: j  d; oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 ^8 d+ r& g8 \0 g* m& lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
' m; z* Z$ L' N3 y5 h0 sExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 t: W6 q( }# z5 ?- b6 aThe rest of your life.
3 N3 \* l5 Q! j# l3 |% CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 ^5 T7 G* n' H, g% h( V( a% u9 [until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 \: Z! M8 b0 |- ], I4 Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
% f7 e" C' |4 [# \/ qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# F) k0 t& Z! X+ MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# D, F/ {8 u, c. ?+ SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 j# S6 Q( V+ i& o5 ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 K6 l) T- Y1 A, ?1 qMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
, s  {$ e1 d0 ~/ e6 t& l6 u# HMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 Q1 O: J- A' q) V' y- q& R6 a# nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: \7 J9 H) C2 K1 D2 `- ?/ ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 m5 {' g( @7 V" Z: ^" Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 _) u0 I: B3 x$ J& w) j* z2 bNone.
4 T/ Q  E8 k. ~( g9 D4 RYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 e1 i+ H9 i( gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
" u& e8 Q2 K6 s: s& _* Lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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! ?6 k9 p: M' N$ }$ |! bPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) D; Y2 j" ^0 ^4 @of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! f6 X  _2 k3 ~! Y3 DWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ Q1 y5 m* a9 h0 d) lBENEFITS:
5 C; Y6 u+ Y- v' S) L& M, YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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; I6 r, L! O+ K7 e, o1 sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: f5 R) @4 @1 w' \5 j4 }
for life if you play your cards right.


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4 }+ \0 C% Y: a( s3 A8 K) {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ q1 C7 L6 H3 T8 B: SForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 i! H2 m% g: d6 \" d! F* m8 t( sletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- x' |0 T# S; w) Sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.