Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 T( b# n/ w" S+ v4 g! G) [Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) W% A# @0 l, iCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) j; ^: t4 x; Y/ D1 X1 E$ b1 Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% \" b* x+ w3 mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 _' b0 g$ s  d; p0 VExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
; y- u" P, O1 x3 O5 KThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
9 t' b/ U( f7 v6 G3 AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ N+ k4 Z9 M7 h6 n8 K( sAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 Z# c1 c1 }- U$ b# ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
% i8 f9 i! F# z# @+ Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& ]6 t% A* o8 U! ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  ]& R1 y3 e& k6 r- n# BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- p, D+ X$ d2 Y' _% m0 @7 [coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 [( J" U: F5 v: GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# R1 ]/ ~0 I1 Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' E+ ?/ D8 l+ p3 `" C4 p0 N: a' \Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
- e- R! S, Y$ tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 C, W& j+ I: C' \3 |janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 D; c! F7 z/ b9 A/ nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
2 Y" E$ E2 o  W' F4 h- eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 ?  z& e! K4 ^1 c/ {$ W' ?can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- T( u' n7 K4 eNone required, unfortunately.
, O# S' Z4 w, K' a( C5 MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- [0 P' t) Z: F% }WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
+ y& @4 m2 n! k; D/ H$ V3 dOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
* A6 j' r  w2 G; zbecome financially independent.
6 R7 S8 H9 E. d$ {5 NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) Y( X1 Y4 \$ L' }* uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: a. {# h8 @' r6 L& n% r5 J+ q5 byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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* b6 k- A8 x6 y. Z* EBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 [. A! A0 {; Bno stock options are offered,
* N, M. j1 P- V$ Y. X- }this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 ]: O1 |% D. `# P+ ~- Mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.