Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 Q3 t# U, J: ~- D9 e- r$ C7 w3 ~9 eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
( U4 f$ u8 Y/ |% Q# g# C. K

JOB DESCRIPTION:
, Q: o, p6 [0 V  p0 l# j# d! yLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 m* y2 n9 R; ]7 c# u7 n- \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ I* f* d/ r& S6 n7 ^Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) |' t2 j6 V8 }/ G' O! Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
- T  J3 K7 q1 OThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 U# W5 g2 \' m$ Duntil someone needs $5.
  F9 F8 i8 D5 B, t+ aMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ u6 }$ m: {" yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
5 Y8 `1 D7 {; Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 y# |7 t* ?; a$ U0 Z% qMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  b2 r$ j$ D% h) b3 I! f' B1 mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 T4 [8 l6 p; D) x( [3 Pan embarrassment the next.
9 E0 ^: D9 G9 DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ E/ C0 D, L9 J) Y2 [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 n6 v. m, V4 t, g) A6 w+ B% J1 s! I) QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ C/ Y# Q3 H) ?6 R" r+ S6 O# Y1 {the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
* P$ c; |0 U' g6 `# |. B
, I+ T6 C2 P2 jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% O% q( C' |+ A6 w$ `; ?None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) i8 F) n* E" G) K  ^/ Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- N; P: {5 d2 |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 w; c3 P: @0 I4 Kcan ultimately surpass you.
4 a% Z$ o1 `8 \8 Q5 i
% V. D7 x$ J5 v, `8 l
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- ~5 ?2 u8 x' T; `+ ^; UNone required, unfortunately.
. o' r" ?/ X! C1 KOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; S- j8 T6 Z! F+ {1 w, ~
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; @6 f; {+ `: ?# }Get this! You pay them!
1 e( p4 ?$ G& A4 v# JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
( X. m* {9 ?' ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) P8 j4 v+ p: N9 o- xof the assumption that college will help them
8 P3 m; i/ W1 Q/ N. kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
  s" l: H" n1 b2 r4 b) O) \
* u" b! w0 V% |! [  R7 f0 T3 |6 K! MBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 a8 t/ u" B* p7 I4 n5 yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 S3 Z0 S" g$ U4 I2 z2 ^no stock options are offered,
4 o: i6 @1 |0 B& |6 \) W& o' ~this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ S6 H$ t% }8 Uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
& Y, C' l5 [: z8 y: c4 C

. J9 {$ E" [, O
/ a/ k7 p4 \4 i! D  O
2 \* O( W( [; h3 a" `5 Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


5 C! h5 f- r+ \; D, @: Y5 k
) w( {! c& S6 H" J" ?  @* AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- {# g" i% m# `( _. b- sor forward with love
5 A% V) a& p9 B9 r; G. cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
, u) ?! L% l) Z( y% c0 ^  v

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.