Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 f; s9 L% ~5 J. \6 pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* F) ^7 w) b! y; W0 JJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; [2 G( U' T: Nand organizational skills and be willing to work
5 ~) X" ]# S9 O& q+ kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! g: \0 Y+ \6 Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 {( Q3 i; O, q! t1 HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  w% C' s2 P) t+ {- |8 _) fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 g! H4 ^) ?2 g" W6 TRESPONSIBILITIES:
$ l: l4 N6 @7 f5 fThe rest of your life.
7 z! b% a# m, O. R5 J- T( gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) K. V) Y/ ~: d7 jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ w# Z0 @  M3 W9 j$ ]coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 K- W' R8 D6 D  k- K2 M1 uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
, z$ _' M  H, E- T  [) qMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" F: Y  I1 H4 f) [# B! shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ Q  e" i5 E8 `' ~, s/ E7 f# mMust assume final, complete accountability for
* X# `# G* f& |- ?9 t' \7 Cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ O  {; ?8 w& k, n/ l+ Y4 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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) c6 U% ?5 y$ R4 TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* d2 m, g1 s4 e: B( a" ]Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 a1 J/ A5 A, a  aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
* N4 y3 @2 J7 M3 d3 A, qcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' c7 G4 d' b/ g: F0 Q! R& EOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! |% S8 J) s9 H+ [3 eGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 N# O- L8 z! b+ d# C: B( Aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: d/ l( _" J2 GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) s9 U; c5 J  K( z3 N& {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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; _- R8 f! U4 U  v2 j- pBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# P. A3 _2 S5 _& Gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 R$ s$ y# k6 @no stock options are offered,
9 Q8 D% G4 \6 \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: J7 Q, D/ u4 R3 t  J, junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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$ U' X: V( @6 t6 M& }0 }# Lfor life if you play your cards right.
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# J5 x" s9 |+ t$ P6 b** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



4 N1 V6 K- B% R2 WForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 \' d  r& s/ @1 s$ w* Gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.