 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% @% w: y& V9 [/ aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa6 | z# J7 n$ p
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2 o- U1 R+ Y: _5 q7 b0 o" ~# }. UJOB DESCRIPTION:% f/ p* ?; L- d* a9 |
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ S$ l' m7 s1 I- B2 Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ k$ k, I$ f# NCandidates must possess excellent communication
- S0 u4 Y, \# ]! \% J1 E8 ~0 v7 cand organizational skills and be willing to work n# Y: ~) ]& B
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- L# i5 _+ O, u. w" g0 S. S, a/ {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% q/ M9 N% T* K1 `: mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* t7 `* Q1 L) C/ ~- eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and # x. {6 P$ m* V8 S( ?' E
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 a) D( e6 h5 G! aTravel expenses not reimbursed. 5 @; g1 ~0 K) b
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES: _- R& s: v4 Q( N1 d- g
The rest of your life.
$ `3 \: Y2 g1 s3 T) qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 I( f) ~3 N" buntil someone needs $5.
& S8 t$ S6 a4 X- WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 b9 ?7 G7 h0 EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 3 |, `8 n6 d F! O, i: s- G
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 v5 `* l/ H4 Win case, this time, the screams from 6 }1 l/ T" T( T2 @5 ^
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 6 e1 |7 c# ]# N- m% V( F) B) c
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, p6 R$ M% B: l1 Ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets * B9 f5 t7 \8 ~3 u
and stuck zippers. * h2 Q+ B9 e1 y
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and / ^! T/ h/ S% W, U/ ^* H% ^
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) x, J. M l' s" QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 2 w( o+ C& I6 k3 c
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, & i. E+ m. p) g0 a. d0 p& X* G
an embarrassment the next.
$ j* t. ]* J" W5 z7 E$ WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a % ~: m! K$ \9 }4 U6 y! l) s
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 4 }& ^, e. z5 E: l/ M- @
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. . y! A- ~4 h8 o6 W" b X+ X
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 V% O" ^: u3 I4 D$ v* R( f2 Uthe quality of the end product.
6 n S1 d v. F& Q ]Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 l; W8 T. ~( l/ jjanitorial work throughout the facility. \- k* J1 G2 @: W
. p+ T( g) z* b' d* r5 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:2 N0 F& u, j: W! l6 P* e r
None.
! G$ Q% i2 Q$ R7 t7 EYour job is to remain in the same position for years, , }; I) \; F3 I
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( j) T ~4 h( l- nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 s* n% K9 l2 L% S; Jcan ultimately surpass you.
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3 Y. O4 z4 S7 q7 q8 p8 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: F \4 L: \" r w4 ]None required, unfortunately.
8 h6 X7 P/ K( x# |7 c3 p) fOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. " f3 ^: `4 g% X$ l1 F" Q
0 x v6 E' R @! q7 `, {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 I! l) |8 @" q% G4 l4 V' ~6 w" bGet this! You pay them! 3 Q; y: ` \& n U
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ; v% q3 ^- O7 a' |* i& A
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ' Z1 z8 Y5 T+ j) v$ [5 L6 b
of the assumption that college will help them 4 }; v8 h- s+ m- c$ o. Z
become financially independent.
. T4 I7 N8 ^% D; mWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ h! Z( Z$ \3 i/ U& W. B, JThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that + @9 c8 |( V% U2 v/ u* l* L( w
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 9 `0 V" o! V. @; U" G9 A
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BENEFITS: K& q4 N2 ]6 d) W1 z( b
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- W( _) f9 m- Q" q' Z! [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ! `2 v: w1 s: F' W+ R L3 _/ w. u
no stock options are offered,: u1 [+ A/ N8 c9 |* O
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 ^! M# e5 w- q. H: G
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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1 k6 W0 o) q& \, y/ @9 lfor life if you play your cards right.+ o6 h, v7 |, t* o+ c
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" W: B9 j! s; |, C6 D% zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, - ]! j1 ~: ?/ T2 e$ [
letting them know they are appreciated
H' }2 \1 ?) a m% h* C8 [) Z1 g7 ~for the fabulous job they do...
3 e1 F, r" `% `% M/ K$ Gor forward with love
4 f, ?2 w- [1 Z: J+ r5 uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
