Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- n! D* F& k* f) nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ Z: ]; Y. I. K6 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

+ {0 S/ U# H/ P) w1 A
0 x5 T6 K" m) g$ u2 v- C9 a5 xJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# u+ q  G3 `' }6 [  p# o- spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 z+ T: Y& |' J4 A: vCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ N! O+ R" S/ g+ H& F) F- Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; S8 X, h! Q# hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
3 ]5 h+ O" `. u) O% lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
4 S6 S; g$ V/ _$ ]
RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 T- Y% m8 ?" f8 }- z! _, N8 ZThe rest of your life.
: H& c  g4 `) {" RMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 y% k8 [- U# U) l2 r# \5 K& Tuntil someone needs $5.
" q( e8 F8 M# o9 e6 A8 MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& x0 s( e2 H9 R' n; O% Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ Q7 O3 ^. U1 z5 o$ z% W" @in case, this time, the screams from
5 _! V0 {1 R9 z5 Y( j9 m- t+ B$ Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) |% o5 J- T1 M" b% f% i; M' H) [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  f$ G  W, `4 d; n2 T- R; gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* G" e1 m) ^9 I3 c1 t% G) }& H. Cand stuck zippers.
1 j- C# |9 q% I$ {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 U$ {$ h) P* r7 \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# ~4 p5 n2 K) X' Q: ]9 w1 `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 D! h! k/ Z' y9 A( AMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% i1 W9 i% E  [, _: mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. d* x9 `  f. R, {: F2 njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

1 q& g' e% f- o( PPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! T3 P1 W, X7 A% `! iNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* ^+ t9 \7 H3 m& i/ q3 z8 e* ~4 i* pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
+ K! U* C8 I* j' gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  e5 G4 ]; X* u/ H3 _6 F6 ncan ultimately surpass you.


' ~2 A2 r; J% R2 {8 p4 ]  fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 W8 Z, t4 u& ~, U' r. @2 ENone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
, U7 \- j. d% x  M! J7 y
1 s% g" f! ]0 S$ M6 }/ E% CWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 E4 s9 G$ w2 n" n6 a7 V5 pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; ^& x3 z' b# P5 I/ l3 }- wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 }! U* r& v1 J# d+ g7 rof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
; o# O- I3 f2 i  _4 P2 `' m3 UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 }( z. O) [. o1 ^* O# @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
' C) [4 R; T# [7 {+ V+ r0 v  |
* ~1 X6 _- r& r- [" xBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ G( n  R$ Q% l9 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( o$ Z6 E1 P! z2 M9 H) R. A0 ^! F4 jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) y1 l/ g7 h1 l( D" O6 Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& F2 T' Y. M9 v) N* y& Z  x& E
for life if you play your cards right.



. M! Q$ {9 k7 F9 S. i% g
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


& r7 E% x$ N7 \! W5 W8 t/ {
+ n$ ^5 l- K& X6 L5 o7 `" ]& AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ v8 Q! e1 I$ e6 n' o$ ~& r3 Zletting them know they are appreciated
3 K& T9 j# D" v/ a8 r1 A  hfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
* Z8 T) ^9 x& Z, h7 o. ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
9 W) u: [0 `* Z8 m7 J4 x$ F

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.