Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& S4 `; K( i# `: o1 b8 E! eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 i4 W* N+ d3 D7 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

+ D4 g/ N6 D" o( p9 `
: W9 y% N# n9 @5 S+ YJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 m% E( x! [5 _5 Q' z" D- OCandidates must possess excellent communication
( v# y+ A! G, f: u  t% Tand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! y) F- c- {/ T( \; F. H2 ~2 vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# d( b$ c4 }4 Rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 ]" T( G/ m6 F# E7 J0 ~$ b5 Y5 ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 _: |" a7 A. `" E& WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
# Z$ s" i9 ^  D
RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 k+ M% P8 z, {+ k! `# `4 p' C, w4 UThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
0 i' G) B! E8 Z: i  p' [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ R. ~% @7 v; D1 @  rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ _8 v, |, v- F; h3 o& Jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 ]+ ?) A( ^3 aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- e; Z5 U# z1 o2 Fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' L2 Z: T& m/ `) b! dMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
3 M, q2 U( `1 N0 Q% ~0 ~! P% TResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
) \, E. ?/ r5 P7 x4 }* N0 B
7 Z, U8 ~$ B. f3 X$ ^+ S& cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
) T5 ]2 d' K0 F. [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

: x2 V/ o. T1 `% ]
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" M- |5 Q) ^% K& ENone required, unfortunately.
2 f7 X0 {" t/ j9 k  o) kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
. x+ S: V* N, c, d" S
) Z9 Z% D" f. A0 yWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 `( Z- w& e$ u* lbecome financially independent.
) Q" E, [* h" cWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 t5 `3 D$ f9 \* sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
; s, |6 K- Y7 ^  [4 c7 H  K
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 ?* l; [$ n( |3 ~6 P$ a6 Mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
1 I' S0 ~7 s" \  K1 P: k- f* T
1 o7 z8 m2 E; n; _2 l( j. ]: Mfor life if you play your cards right.

/ N; x2 v$ P: g% ^& k5 U, Z
; ^6 g. Y- e5 T* Y" s0 `% z
& m% y: q1 d1 U$ o' E6 [2 v
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
2 {$ J3 R6 e5 X+ l! R2 y1 c/ c$ J
* w  ]5 b4 V4 v6 j# F! d
. T0 B) ?/ l( o7 g% e' z  X
4 H, B/ t  G  v( \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
9 k( |) P: ?5 Z: {4 Por forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
6 |/ w- N# U( `

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.