Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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: @' q; P% R0 L8 d2 g) GJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
& {1 w, Z; t. D4 S' Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 n3 n& e1 n" j# y- i& \7 tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. [5 R* c% X! eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 C" A2 e( H) ]0 Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
+ P+ v0 v: ^0 XExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 F6 i- `$ a1 S) V& Z& P+ jThe rest of your life.
3 k$ a+ W% ?* B' J! }3 i1 m) sMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( [4 ^+ U% K4 S7 uuntil someone needs $5.
3 j5 X3 W  T1 N+ L# ?5 uMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 R$ [+ M1 ~1 t: c. |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. Y& F% T6 Y8 A* N! ^& V  b; @# c1 min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 E/ m! @6 `# ^$ a& Q1 XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 j* R/ o" Y% b0 G% |5 y1 w& [and stuck zippers.
. f+ r4 g4 \. K+ G) QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: p, w3 e) [# b) f0 F0 L( }7 Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) l8 Z* C* V  u4 |* WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 v2 _7 }2 v" y/ s/ T$ U# LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% u' `4 q& Y9 Kan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* l, R1 k' _2 \8 X* y8 J. mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% @. J4 c2 a0 ~' ?) m: s( iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. O2 o4 d, W5 f0 P6 y( ]0 n3 B3 k0 Y8 @the quality of the end product.
, A5 A% X( i9 ~5 r, G' g5 A* S0 ^' IResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

" O' y7 ^  T7 d9 e& S- p+ I! }POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% q7 J% g/ K9 H+ E% Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
& Y: [9 [0 o% o, A; u9 x8 s( supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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/ O7 {2 @+ S- g- P$ W  j2 tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- g! k; d2 i; B$ _( M1 Y2 X( d$ vNone required, unfortunately.
5 [3 M# x( d1 ?' h: wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
" }+ l+ c5 ]) l7 f6 E2 s0 b
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; o6 o% f7 z  P, ?1 XGet this! You pay them!
4 ^- [$ o+ A+ T# n. r" Q! MOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
& q* {& @2 [, m9 ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 P: P. H  H* k" ^( Y+ Xbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& J$ t$ [( ]' C6 _/ d# P: kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 U1 h$ R( N& X- xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

* ]7 h$ i% I3 J7 @' O  V9 R% XBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ L2 l# R1 ~  E% {/ M+ @7 C' H
8 A: P4 z' F/ c5 ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
2 T: v5 _/ M! B7 g  k* G9 m5 B
for life if you play your cards right.
+ Z1 X0 i) H1 I2 w  @9 W! w2 z$ v
/ X  K- ~) q7 g- U, d& r

9 r/ ]0 J/ R( J! E
( N8 X0 D+ k1 S0 X( [+ s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; X: O' T* |( M+ i+ zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) ]- N/ P0 P+ Mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.