Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; l. K- j! }( [: y( u* `% N4 iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! C/ R9 l2 t8 N, J  S* Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ j  n+ m9 z5 B& Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- B4 c6 W# x1 Q/ D6 {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# T4 ?7 x. {5 _/ bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ X/ H2 D1 }0 o6 v' c- Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) N5 C, ^* Y7 t3 }6 ]# I7 ^1 [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
8 L# r5 d/ |! c: r/ k  Z6 XExtensive courier duties also required.
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* @5 _% |0 N/ |+ Q2 M$ vRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" Q1 y: D8 Q* Q, o9 h  @. e. Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
( E# J; @% ^' [+ O6 L( m( p. D1 rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ I6 \! C% c+ O6 T: a' I7 @$ rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ ~* u7 T* |( u* L2 z+ e$ Gan embarrassment the next.
8 L; X2 }: G) U* sMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 k3 j9 r6 M) R7 iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' [" u3 Q" g4 I' Z' O4 Gthe quality of the end product.
$ }& p9 q1 ]9 Y% J" D) y2 J+ a2 MResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 a% I- _" [8 |janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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; b. W+ N( O8 `. z- z) R, gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ Z; N5 d; |+ w1 h6 [6 F6 h( kNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, @0 s6 }) p! x8 S! X3 mNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 Y: j& M8 E" AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" l9 f# a& M5 a6 o9 `# YGet this! You pay them!
0 z8 r- G: ^! C: M& K$ |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) I7 X0 X  I# @5 M$ N) O- iof the assumption that college will help them
. L4 P! [( i2 F' f6 abecome financially independent.
! J% d  }) i# b$ nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 z, I1 y: A# q- H; `+ jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 h; T! m1 E" ^
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& X- S; |% \0 `+ G! L; [4 l- g/ Uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
6 z6 e6 i- v  S* f6 N' P: w. n
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 p) w/ R+ b/ M( \$ C; |5 U
for life if you play your cards right.
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- D$ _" N" m1 w3 ]8 |8 I

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 T$ N& n# L! H. {9 \
) {; }+ E8 ^, f1 j( o( {2 mForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 f" @& V' w% E" Fletting them know they are appreciated
8 l$ a9 x3 G5 Y5 gfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.