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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:  J; {1 K& B* u7 D
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* a4 f8 y* i$ `5 B4 v* }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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2 M' l- P& L) p  m0 [4 \4 N& gJOB DESCRIPTION:
) c  R5 }7 n) U  @7 c3 }! Y5 ^; OLong term, team players needed for challenging,; `- D' l. R+ {

. e& L/ S9 _# t' L4 D) ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 A$ p1 m% m, P8 ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
& V( |+ o5 A8 V* J( F0 _and organizational skills and be willing to work 3 c$ E% c, Z3 F7 ^  u
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends . \1 {( o3 I% D# k
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 @1 c  S* G7 |# h# p1 WSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 e. R8 ]+ @2 L- M6 R8 ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! \: a) W) z1 O) a) h8 }: x- _endless sports tournaments in far away cities! & W/ @% S' f3 l* q% B* d5 q4 w- H
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 7 L9 C: U8 l! ]# I
Extensive courier duties also required.
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7 J" E; [. V5 A: ]2 j9 ~RESPONSIBILITIES:( C# ~! p) d3 Y7 D8 Y9 x: e
The rest of your life.
4 P3 c* I6 |5 o1 y0 ~, tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 4 ^# ]  H# o! C- u5 Y! s
until someone needs $5.
2 o# G/ i  u7 }9 A! i1 o1 FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 2 u( u$ t1 t7 }6 q1 B
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule . [& o5 y( Y  F, X, L
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. j! ]2 s. W$ f$ p0 c1 J7 m- m: y' }in case, this time, the screams from ) f7 v) E7 S6 H4 C
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. . a* U8 X$ D' C* C9 x  j" `
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ x* q# o( k' Wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# C) D3 p" R4 m+ Rand stuck zippers.
( R! @/ z$ }4 s6 r( L+ xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. w* C$ q" l* ?3 kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 W! U* q4 G4 |: DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 4 b1 l5 E* H3 \& b: ~) N$ z: ~
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ d9 \1 {1 ~3 }an embarrassment the next. & ^9 r4 J& z+ [6 B* f: s7 j
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 I  q; S8 _! |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# r, Y, F: N% G2 K3 |6 ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 0 o& k5 r  N# _" s& g
Must assume final, complete accountability for 7 G; k$ d# d# [% m
the quality of the end product.
: v) y) `: e# V# GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 8 u3 {2 `( _4 b, f$ Y) ^) {3 W
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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4 w  x/ S+ R# ?, bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* [- n: }% c$ i* x$ Z, K1 XNone.
! G% o: c+ p% w% O& u9 C" G% jYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
( k  U. A7 u# R: Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and   c6 B4 c+ W, e6 T8 t
updating your skills, so that those in your charge % Q/ I" e& E6 l8 L* d  s4 V
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& ]6 r4 P; z+ @  G) r9 @2 l! ~. u) z  fNone required, unfortunately. % h, c2 |) `& W' r
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ [1 O5 J0 E: m7 p% [/ J  C: WWAGES AND COMPENSATION:   s7 o1 Q( p; Q2 {& X* X
Get this! You pay them!
: h- D- Q0 P; g3 l4 \9 @+ pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 s  V' i1 w. H: Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* I2 t3 T9 {! f0 K' j8 Z6 `of the assumption that college will help them
6 b& t3 o3 ^8 S; u3 \7 m4 ?6 {become financially independent. & d: i1 ~5 t0 L1 g% R& F. D
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 @! U# ?% {/ q4 b* KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 9 t' [" s" R* [$ v. R4 ^% c; x, |3 f
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: , e7 T+ n) l* E7 Y5 L
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, l' e; n3 H" c+ [; G6 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ; W; R  k1 ~! l
no stock options are offered,$ ^* b$ c) `/ _/ A, n
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, * b2 b7 u" C- O+ Q

3 m6 `7 S: y( k. W  K7 X3 e9 gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ W  c$ Q8 S1 r" F7 [+ g8 }9 u
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 j$ R& L8 D7 VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 ^7 h9 ^8 V0 z! Z  U2 K, [letting them know they are appreciated * N* L8 A! M7 }; }* f$ @, c% d
for the fabulous job they do...
) u& S) e! ~+ Y, f# ]4 F9 H, S) Uor forward with love & p# H/ J) B# j2 v; |
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.. j, M: l( i+ M. {
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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