 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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) n8 v7 D$ q2 z. g5 qI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"# O8 q( s( C; P2 L, e( @
5 P5 t3 ?- h, wI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 g' C9 j! M( J' hAnd the second one was:9 y! d1 R8 g2 e" G5 D. U$ y- T
& y5 Z" w) B, M9 n"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 U% v; ^) _9 h
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! Q, m' n; F# u. ~$ G( J* Y
! I1 t% p( ]' X/ c3 I, Z) G- e# DI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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! I7 _2 ?4 B/ x: N7 ?I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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/ V. f, L2 Z6 l: |7 B @3 h9 `+ dSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& P1 n$ f& \: `2 J7 f5 z( O
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”8 @+ E9 ]1 p1 \3 k+ h2 c
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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6 u5 P1 C/ S, K( _Thank you very much!) E8 u- a, W* h; ?: f: t A8 X
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" J3 H) B% x0 [) _) ^3 B/ P
1 E$ r1 b3 f- S' r9 l) \, H! ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.! f" O4 S) ]* ~. A/ C% b
5 I H& L1 a$ ]& r& F0 i n1 i% W2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms./ {& A( l' H6 L5 W
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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/ B" k/ ]0 u$ J0 |: ?Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
