 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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1 n$ l9 G0 B- O5 w. M# D- R3 uI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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+ I5 r0 V S7 U; @9 V8 I) AI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 ^; r" `! |: P/ l/ Q% U9 s0 P8 s
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And the second one was: J! G% y2 |, n9 [) C* l. S6 e
! D& P% R. C% s, M( `" K"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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* ^# y0 _; l! S. E0 J5 }% OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 e9 L! S( m2 c8 A
7 l8 o$ g# s$ g" {$ N1 h. e"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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) c2 C, ?6 f4 H& e2 H. u( nI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?/ ]6 A& ]& T& c6 \( h5 `+ _
3 [6 B: F% B" s$ c6 c4 hI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 A" o6 X9 t3 }. {I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."$ V* d8 |9 M) o9 e1 ~5 M/ O% J0 w/ f
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' B$ L0 A3 _. ^
. Q4 G1 [9 d: m, T5 w. p ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' r+ z" i' s/ P! G
q' z" z0 B) @5 C! j, b' eThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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2 k) s" I7 ^# i$ A& `Thank you very much!- I& C# V/ J, h+ U: o' v- m( k
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9 G1 @# D, P6 H$ [. d+ pImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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( \ E( k5 U: m" L3 X; Z/ F2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! ~# [) a& S) ~
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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R- N9 ^; u" Q. D2 mJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". E: v. j: q. j# h% u9 q
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
