 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.: U& k8 D4 {7 @( [0 F1 L
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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( n2 ?8 y, i, `# `( jI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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. E) V9 c9 i2 ] {4 dI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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. p0 y/ y* \5 A"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 d( o1 N% L& V
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed? K8 F$ u, h0 X Z- z/ w# d
3 t9 R+ W: v% RAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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$ i* ]* X! } h$ ?3 s, II was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! a& { h- C+ Z0 L4 A8 A4 {! e
}( C8 d' T5 z" z"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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. M% J* E2 Z! y* X( hI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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. F; @0 }& X' R+ l# P& Z2 V- tSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"" U3 m' F4 M: D8 l
1 j! V6 y* \9 RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much! }" S* i# k2 b! c6 W' h
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9 [# ?7 P* N& U1 I0 D3 w4 |: S* s" nImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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7 b# r! w! j b! {3 M8 i0 j1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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- R7 B+ T$ F- k: c0 U7 Q3 q. T2 g$ l"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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" R/ f8 @4 a6 L% TJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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: ~/ ?1 R1 h$ }. KRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.- b2 C2 Y! W' R) G! W o) x+ z
( r5 |8 N$ X3 |4 v2 TThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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