 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.2 | o" o) H: J
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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6 a, `7 x) Q* ~: Q8 ?) lI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 C: Y0 X" \9 F, C+ ~1 `
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" L/ x6 _. `$ `8 w1 ?
8 B6 A# J2 H1 m) q+ B" O7 CAnd the second one was:
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* `$ [& w# o4 R# N- I"What's the 2nd Amendment?", I7 v+ W: n2 t( |
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 J% S4 H8 T. q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"( d2 ]$ e: l0 e$ ^- @
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?0 s. R# F. i3 }
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!( B/ C( o S$ j
2 R* I8 u' \7 F4 \- dI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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$ M$ N. N3 K0 M* a3 a" [So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?" n. \8 J8 [8 b- E/ x
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”, E$ i5 y5 N0 u" v$ L9 F9 C
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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: Q$ S6 ?! E, p( C! F. W PThank you very much!. t3 j, R$ N9 q4 _9 [3 Q2 f7 P
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+ F, y* @$ Q4 m6 O% K5 ]. wImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:3 { ^9 l& {# P& U% H9 }0 I
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.- @% v9 @/ ]. a) u+ |$ U1 Q. Q; Y
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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( `1 Z+ J2 S5 |9 \Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: ~, a: X5 D! w, A
* i+ t6 s4 r. @$ ARoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
