 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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* @1 H7 f5 \0 U' e* n+ SI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.0 B# l, _* Z' @7 o/ C
8 G4 c+ B/ _) O: RI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ P$ z. V" G. Y. E% \. T
: S. b- [1 O9 b6 x& P8 J* V/ FI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"( {4 [3 M' K% }3 Y+ ?$ y: L
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. `5 G) D2 \% n
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And the second one was:) J6 j, P% j8 t+ O& h# W
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# ], J5 ?1 M0 s; I' }' ^
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 \/ g8 O7 R. g) p% M
& m- @& \$ F" F+ }I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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! K% c9 ~* z$ i' ]I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 W2 J z7 ?5 L: u! D' P8 jI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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1 Z1 _# o3 ^1 Q _# D& kThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.. \$ n. ~, ? L! K1 N0 E" A
, h' k( V4 _+ `! dThank you very much!' L& V( N9 K' X" W+ [
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.6 @0 X; W" k+ l( z/ R8 T
^4 R, D0 v' ]" {( }: R2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.2 `2 J. ^# O2 V* U0 F$ U0 i
! g4 O5 @ Z; ^ _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 y4 p" L9 ~7 p8 i0 I
# I. K1 T2 \4 i$ TJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".2 L4 o, Y! u- {* F) S, B1 ~# h z
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
