 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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4 g8 O' _* G" ]0 ]2 k- s& QI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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& G7 I- p6 F5 _, p/ zI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:) \$ l! O6 G$ m7 `
; G4 t& }3 P- ? H3 B" o"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! ]0 |/ @ | h
/ F2 N' M& c5 D1 JI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' E8 q) i1 e2 K6 e$ }
2 ^, |7 @0 e& f/ `( CAnd the second one was:2 H! q- Q5 F, k* C0 o- V
- b8 N0 G; R4 ], a3 t/ S3 h"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 f9 M( t, u X0 c% X! x; HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 N, }" u6 i& ~" h
" H' u3 h7 b' H5 g! v G( o+ t"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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* u/ q# y! G- c5 c9 [I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ |- }+ v& m8 f3 Q
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!- C$ b1 d5 d% |9 A Q2 F
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"( Y+ _0 e5 S6 ~ ^" K1 T: a
- `7 V% G5 r8 b+ s! wNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”, { c/ K1 m t* e2 n! C
. ~/ ~# t4 w6 @This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 ]6 k+ B4 i# r' [/ T
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Thank you very much!2 \+ `3 _% x+ @$ w6 F7 x
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. ?9 D8 R5 N/ c3 M( Z
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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7 J* \& m- k) ~"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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7 y# E3 A9 Q+ A4 e+ c% ?% [" vJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 s& Y% c) a, k3 R- b r
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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