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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.0 T3 _* b, f5 W% F' i  l2 X
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 a  Y$ P3 m, n& L
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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/ H8 u' |9 p: m"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ F- i$ |8 m' q& K$ }And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# m" ^. V% ]8 Y+ m7 R

/ \' O! w/ u  a5 o: uI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ R, @( c' n$ [9 c7 c. D
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"0 K6 \, d3 Y! u6 g* X& F: M
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?9 Q2 U5 A# J8 D$ z! y

! [( |6 S% t$ V  m0 oI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, Z! \0 K+ T) t7 E- ^. o
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."9 w5 S) Y4 k0 d' z: L4 L& u

& K: a1 L/ v, [4 ISo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"* P2 I) t3 H" c4 s5 f& n
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 d( m+ f  L2 V2 R: }
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!7 G; E* c: g/ ~+ |) o7 d
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! ]$ o' t, ?6 v9 k, Z3 m9 ?Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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. \8 f. E2 u7 n/ D. w3 k5 K1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.' J: }) y1 b. u
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. V5 s9 k2 N8 [2 W3 T  z2 g

  P- ^* n" I# x. O) m3 C"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".* x( s* Q  R( g) u/ X  t9 u
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( j  @* ^. S' h

. r7 S4 I- t% I6 j% zThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 7 a; U* E) u5 `9 s' y( ]9 @
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
6 n0 g1 I; N1 g5 i怎么理解?; `& ]# c0 h: y3 e( Q9 Y
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
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" i/ D3 M% v; c+ t8 Y* m% J50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
. F& I% L3 t& w! ?6 acyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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; M7 ]* g8 J8 Q8 H8 X. |! I我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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