 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ x l; L3 ^8 t6 B( b
s' _9 ^6 x4 c4 H6 tI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.; j7 e; Q$ A; U
* l8 x4 H5 V) U3 I& e; w2 I& gI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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9 p! H( D) a& U3 I7 W. E"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"9 [1 x1 g5 \: u
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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6 ]3 s( T" u8 U: }And the second one was:0 N) Y3 Q2 ]2 _/ B, F# j
" K* c0 Z4 M5 k; ~"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& ^: b' v6 }. q. x2 Y+ Y9 l. U* t
" f P# q3 _4 i; m) e" e* ]"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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; i" L& {) v" X! A% A0 [: c/ P6 ~I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" r3 n+ l+ v% e* Y# ~$ C
2 a6 u. [) }* p5 ^I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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" ]/ C; D. [! r; HI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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' W( C; Y& R( T1 `5 d2 aSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"3 i$ Y5 i' k- @2 o" p+ p, ]6 o% W" Y6 j
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”* b# T" O7 v; }
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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( V* H& @+ S$ Y ^/ X' a8 H; F0 e: bThank you very much!& \+ x- k) z. m% i2 q7 V
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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# q X6 I2 u/ I1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% H" h1 Y7 J- h
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 I9 q5 H+ n4 ~
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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/ V& N6 |. t) N: CRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
