 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.8 O7 L9 G8 l Q# s' T/ e- [
6 c2 W& K9 Y2 t, pI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you." }: f; t. k/ b
& ^7 \, w+ t- n; r: rI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:9 Y. G+ H( }9 B" O
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"+ n2 _6 h+ b2 q8 j0 j
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"7 ]9 M" j$ S+ p4 }
! L. j- R1 e# u, ~" a1 P. g# ]I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- l3 i3 d: i9 @5 O' c% I7 B( V1 m" V
/ s2 |' c; ^# e1 |"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?* m7 I, r& _$ ^. f' s* S, K) @
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 B; }$ B) g8 k: U" kI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; o" f# q! F% o7 g
3 x, Y6 s' k3 ZSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.+ f2 S, n8 B( E
' X! V" z2 r. _) D) \; O8 cThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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! w; l' a4 O! ^! n' a8 z5 ?2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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7 P4 c6 x$ d: z X4 v"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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, E* G! X0 R) f: Y3 O' f2 MJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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7 Q" w7 J2 T$ c" `6 HRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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