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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:' k1 ~  c. V2 \
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! s; }- b/ n. e, F; _
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* }7 D6 N! M! A, y+ U
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And the second one was:) l1 G# c9 }" P; }; Z0 b, E% U+ Z

3 g9 c% b4 j; ]"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 |7 P) x  L+ F, b, Y1 rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& t5 G0 ^. m/ [8 A
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ ?* W) b$ x/ E" L4 X" ~1 ]: f4 i

! ]4 f& B: r, t% _- A7 o0 O- mI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"* A, ?* V; ^! k! R  z- J, i+ H

3 i% D/ `; }& u3 f7 i% @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”8 u0 ~2 a9 [/ K) B# N+ Y; N1 w
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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; O& Q; Z* Q$ _9 u0 y# a' {1 FThank you very much!5 O5 X% o7 w0 k

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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:# w! M9 k- a& t( t/ z9 n
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% Z7 x$ \7 g5 w/ P
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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# M3 m5 ]$ H! A& l0 S4 S"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ V2 z% x7 D3 [
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:   j. G  `7 |) I0 W6 H' \
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
9 v5 D: p9 O: o. ?怎么理解?
; x0 d1 v% b% n% Q  ^4 Q50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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0 `/ d% c! `5 w) _1 g: i不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。- {# T: N8 z( q
怎么理解?
) ]7 h. k: K4 s& R50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
0 g) O: M. _" `5 g2 @; Xcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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