 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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1 q {) c' J3 rI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like: ~6 u" m3 V" t6 q; z
/ V5 x8 b$ o8 Y1 h" e! e" k"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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' }$ u; D- J6 ?/ s# v. h* UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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- ^* D' W% _$ I" wAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?". k( v" J: J. p
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ I2 l" x: q$ D- P! V: i. _
$ I. P% X2 Q* h! K1 D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"$ N' J$ y. v w
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 m v$ s4 P4 K! i$ |
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."5 p. N# v" h. [ ^- j
6 l1 Q; j1 E$ M& K, g( Q7 ~So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"" s, @: N. [+ j% J- D( r
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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; l: m: F9 G |0 I E7 w0 a7 ZThank you very much!
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" e5 ]( H8 p6 QImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:+ W1 n9 {7 p' R$ X% e
* ^ W. ^% E1 W4 d0 _: e1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& W4 F. X4 n# @. A p+ Y
+ h/ `& h* n/ K8 e. J2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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& Q6 O& B w- d; |. p* _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. b n8 n3 E! z( J
5 [" @) W, h/ Y/ c+ ]5 |Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".1 D' ^0 d2 Y1 E- v) i/ Y* X
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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2 ?% h, J: D7 ?8 `( @0 b. DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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