 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
3 u8 D9 h8 X5 W9 g" I: y& n; x
- V, u' f, E$ Q* F( KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
3 r' i: v0 [/ F1 L# w7 ?+ v; u9 j$ \2 d- j% c1 a1 F5 p
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.# o* g/ G, D" Y; j
7 [4 j; x, b% {I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
2 O+ F1 l- S* _' O, }" Q- `% V6 V( f+ d% W; s) M2 q% _1 l/ A
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
/ D0 J; {/ U7 X. T( Q$ k$ X+ u( @& s
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
' T5 B4 a9 H7 d# c$ W( \+ G! K4 s* N9 \) x
And the second one was:, G# Q: u# _. k6 F. t8 s
/ B1 x' j( R. S9 E7 [8 J
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
$ N' r! E6 L9 g1 O
/ r& z; D# \( T7 n- s( F* r' BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
' l) C! `* }+ K9 T9 l
7 S- K4 w5 z5 u' e"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
7 P/ D. s; f& U3 D) ?
+ [' D) R% P; y0 AI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
) g7 Z% A9 y( y% `* l" o+ Y% d7 l. b6 ?
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ J; i" {9 j' W) b$ z3 i
" h, F6 D0 o8 r
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
, M, B/ ^: a6 \3 A$ y0 j5 ~+ ]# U
3 a7 j7 A/ J$ y4 t, k, c. s3 MSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 n9 F- G# W' ^" i5 Y$ _: v7 j% K- D
- ~# E; I% [5 E% JNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- @( [* W' y) q& G' M2 u
/ X8 j1 X2 r; | V3 B0 M
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.+ {- D4 z( D8 z# R6 o, a; ^
; ^1 J4 ]4 ^. u& h* k- T- oThank you very much!
+ \. _8 g3 p2 P% K: o& m& j6 l
2 J" i; l: s& s) M9 d==========================
8 X. v# q0 M/ m# R, b6 F0 A' v( _% i1 F2 |" m& g7 i- b, {" s
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
& e, X ]% R: |* J' z
$ {; h V# a1 c1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
) A, C' O0 K; h1 q# ~% k# |* k _1 ?
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." r7 @" U3 q4 Q4 k- S( T9 _) |9 Z
, Q" s1 h) z, X: M. j+ a5 `"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.) ` C# f$ _& Q- }
3 \2 c' S7 ^( P A6 t2 T/ G& mJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
N/ E% w- @7 n8 k% I6 T% Y- l$ Y3 f$ y1 e; p8 L
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
& t$ }% U( t) `+ J9 N5 S9 A. {
# }" |( C8 k) b pThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|