 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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' N4 w1 ]% C3 N+ R% f" sI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ p3 y3 F9 |5 h" _# n
+ x* ?! X- Q1 ~! vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.# p( g# w, E9 i* J+ G# ^
1 L/ q# _) t, }I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 {! y0 _' i9 D) p
$ E* d: D3 N$ M3 Y) X3 z/ s"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( b, Q" I8 b, k) ^/ Z
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And the second one was:) Q j* f0 \8 a1 W: T
& o+ A2 M2 R8 R$ J"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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) x& Y3 X' P* x1 tI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; D: u& L2 U* c"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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. e. W: r$ X. }I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 n# J* {' u! c- NI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". R/ w# V d6 V2 ?! X2 _& x
1 }3 y* ~+ O, U% Z6 uSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") w, C* ~, r' b& X; I* x; w3 D( z
$ @/ X9 B' s; W9 F4 lNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”% ^, X) d( J% u( `3 h! J/ d" G
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!8 K2 N) H' F! v% d. y6 E& J! v4 ~/ X
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% E l; @7 d( ~) z9 X4 J9 kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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% L3 E7 _+ B$ S6 o' |1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.9 t. J: E$ A) I1 q2 m% A$ `
- N+ ?3 A7 W' \! S1 j2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* P9 g. V+ V4 O# A7 J' |$ k
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ B) R7 D6 c8 } j& H" E
8 a" \! ~! E0 S) t- t4 G" D1 dJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"." ?7 h+ Q$ A- k
# o k' e; i& z4 gRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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& y% Z q e( K; `8 nThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
