 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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* I; _0 N7 Q' s; z6 `' E6 ~3 J) l* uI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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% d: J8 _! A. O# e# Y3 C& i2 yI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 Y( y9 q2 V) i) b3 X9 V; N
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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4 O* w6 b3 n9 s"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& B+ t% U$ {/ F. X( O8 `9 I
& q% m3 \8 e/ i3 A( G* M+ Y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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( ?7 p+ u, u4 C% | b& CI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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8 D0 i- r2 j: c8 n# eI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."# R/ b( Z) i) [+ n
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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n+ N* U/ ^0 v9 X, @* GThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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" {' A1 T0 k: Y+ m. Z$ RThank you very much!
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! i$ U' I h( K/ J6 W. q* nImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: L! A5 K" x/ N. H
" e/ S; e+ { M0 P! [$ E7 b1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.9 Q4 c9 Z( s) D! u
+ e0 j) p6 o& C2 n' \0 q- \7 A2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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0 _, j. A% m) a/ ]"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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9 w7 ^/ S3 z" v# n# tJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
