 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.+ R8 q6 k3 `7 V+ H4 k
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.5 W. p' {0 B5 u$ f* w6 H
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 \0 O0 ?4 X+ B! t
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 J w* Q: r& S: O8 Q* `) L
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And the second one was:5 t! J* D- ]2 \2 y5 g* o% S
. K& _: `7 W: P, w"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ p' t# \! e' J& o. `$ o$ b; Z. Y
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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9 Z9 ^7 _5 Y. @8 R" OI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?5 k% A0 O0 W% U1 C
' q5 \/ K) `; LI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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U6 a% A; G6 L, V; ~I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". s/ s7 o7 U8 I% [+ q9 k, L
L c8 J$ M% M( J, K( g1 FSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"- n5 |- C2 Q6 n% T
: w5 T: {* d7 I( \4 zNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”+ n1 I" p6 u: v2 A+ |% h
6 p# u0 E0 Z/ q' kThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% T+ O Y: B4 B* _
' B0 N! o, P- ^0 ]Thank you very much!* p# r5 g( N3 D: v" @
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* E2 u: o% R, o1 vImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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! U; ~# F" s$ c' q"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ l5 `. e) l" k5 w4 C% t0 |
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.. h& m+ G3 n4 L, Y1 i5 x
3 v- H3 ]& Q8 ^9 v2 Q* M3 g( aThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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