 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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- R# D& `/ I" _I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.0 D/ L. n2 Z1 f! O- B4 l9 _
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:& }& z4 G9 A/ |* `
) T0 o. G' E0 ~"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ m2 ~5 _* h3 x* V" m
+ A7 ?# H" @+ s7 EAnd the second one was:% P+ d& |0 ~% q- N0 O& G$ U
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% O- P- p+ |3 e* M$ f2 T3 X" a# t
( J. p6 M# {: N" `/ N# BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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( f/ ?9 z1 o( H. o" E' f6 _"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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8 v4 F( H$ h' |% v8 ~+ CI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ m/ G( A( Z9 U" x) G8 o) R
. {' Z& ]: I* x: f/ II have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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2 h* q8 n! O3 [6 S* tI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 j) g; _- y" G' O; ]
2 l8 j( _% w9 JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' @" ]! F; s& L" Y
5 w5 ^5 l& t" p# I1 sNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% {' F) H w( K- Z! |& ]) Z
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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6 {% q+ d' R& I; v0 ^"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.8 V. N" b! q, w: ~# j
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 A. k+ ^9 Y) q" i
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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