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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ M" z3 P1 e# P8 x" \

$ ^0 m/ Z* o: q/ _9 F0 ]I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.; E! r0 z9 \- k: s6 M) y. Q0 X
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.2 y8 u- h( b, R+ o, W% v* ?

. H9 k' }* ], _3 iI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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  O  I4 u7 t2 }' N% ]; V"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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, Q! b/ s5 e# c9 p& w8 a0 p- rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?") D- P1 K$ f! k
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% ^( F/ v& T/ k8 H
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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) k! t- x  D2 qI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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) R, L$ g' R0 e* r3 j4 N( l* QSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 B8 ?8 _+ ]; ~- W/ Y% |
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”$ s: b$ I1 b7 a: z

$ i% k  s% f8 d0 H; _This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# T; ~7 k" D4 \) r0 b
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Thank you very much!* e/ i4 B- I% ^9 z, y

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7 k: ~3 }8 V- `; z/ k2 F& @Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.+ s' S  m( R, @4 l3 N& d& _  g; @

+ w3 c0 s' [3 j' }  v"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 f5 |* S8 r' g. s
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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, _, }5 h2 b2 q3 k3 Q, U5 b3 SRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 P/ S  r# s$ }3 p$ \
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
. L: C1 W  I7 g. fa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
3 s" f/ p2 i. Y* y+ @" U  h* W怎么理解?( t3 B  p3 g9 v0 r# B2 q
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 " ]* x9 {  `6 C% A2 z% Y

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# Z2 I( u4 J% P' q# l) }* m# A不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。& K3 }7 [- h- N+ o! z7 V2 M+ X
怎么理解?9 o7 |$ V8 X' F# D6 A' S  P1 K9 `
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?/ {$ P# c1 Y$ t; L
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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- Z7 {$ ^5 b; s0 P& ^2 ^7 y我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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