 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& x6 S$ ^3 `, n1 q/ l0 u8 H$ ]
: I6 R2 W9 T1 |9 ?; A' EI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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7 v: W3 f1 l3 L, ?"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ t, m6 k, D! C0 {7 @6 BAnd the second one was:, \2 y2 H0 s) U" b! x* Q( N
; }8 R5 ?8 `) F- \5 r/ F' I"What's the 2nd Amendment?"2 C4 m4 h& L9 k) \* g. W
+ O% I' k0 l7 r5 A; XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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8 i5 f! o \* V"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% _% ?2 Z* g% P& g& d/ Y% Z
! F- @0 a+ w8 N% t L, kI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!! e! ^& f+ y7 b" s
& K6 m# q% J* P x* U) sI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.") w6 c3 X W# r* t m
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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: n' b$ A) z; P: o* BNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.( \, Q v3 ]1 Y8 U, }
x+ X- @9 V, J; } C: WThank you very much!+ a/ T" a! s9 N/ c
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; s1 }2 `) [: J* V2 O. a! @( K8 w
" ^% q" g& X" T% w/ P* c1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 h. i: F$ o5 d
9 w- `' h0 c: R. _# C6 q2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.0 p! _) T6 c6 I7 t! j. \/ }# a
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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" k" V. Y5 o: s0 p( zJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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' U* b h0 s/ B$ Z. YThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
