 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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( k- I, I/ V% N+ MI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 t$ N j' \/ b% y" S" k6 a1 I
+ S O$ e1 F% s1 pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.- N5 g9 X2 {- j" W X2 c. ^) |1 S5 @
7 r1 G' a9 Z6 Z) G3 q! ^I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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Z; j; k; q( K( ?& e( l/ T- m. _"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"/ a0 r" i- w6 ^
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: q& {: V0 T5 X7 V4 n+ V
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And the second one was: ? A- @" T7 Q
& _: O7 k, n5 y# e C"What's the 2nd Amendment?"4 h; E# X2 ~1 n
3 s8 W) D7 ]# [I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% m6 n e% M6 Q$ @2 R7 p
* l' v! S. V, N9 h0 {"What is Roe vs. Wade?"3 B; l0 ^8 ~: U
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; J3 N8 c6 B1 q7 Z A
5 e \! ^6 F7 U0 O$ uSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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- q6 t3 A# J% `/ [/ K+ ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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+ N( h6 J3 ^- P( s) O, lThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore." o8 z+ e$ [* v! a2 {. S0 t3 f6 U
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! u% S8 r8 ]6 E* Q# j$ q& d
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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4 J$ P) r6 n+ N2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.$ | l \( R0 `4 n4 u+ i1 }& K- l
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. ]3 N% A/ d. d9 e! |
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ b4 ]0 h) D! ~# n
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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