 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.% s1 n W2 W( u6 ^1 W
2 R x" F" c7 @ Y( }/ \I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 t2 ? _, a- Q8 j4 Y: S! g0 _
4 f3 _$ F% ~* }1 Y w" K; MI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! U2 W, Y- l H& e" {8 x+ K
8 a: ~0 I- c$ q4 d) ~& X' [& I* Y: ["Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" ?6 G/ v7 a* _' L8 e
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:" D* r! }$ o3 V- S
( t, i9 [+ j. n4 Z, f' b"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# {& x% P5 r g/ v
7 Z/ E5 P8 b# g1 f* M& cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! F( A" u9 @: F* Y
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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+ Q# v+ {9 I& w7 F3 r8 Z% o5 n/ gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."1 C8 N" x8 W, u( E
+ l1 Y* s; D" N8 WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", [. h& ~7 a: R4 p, A# h
7 F4 m, d# `6 @, ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ o. M; `% B& d3 c4 v3 \
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Thank you very much!
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1 R$ K3 `2 W1 n" D6 B$ Z2 FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 g7 t7 B; J1 r4 K
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 e" M. c3 `& c7 p
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% `8 ^/ V$ t2 D
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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