 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.6 L8 |# V6 F0 T: a! L) a0 F4 Z5 U9 L+ y
) f. H- j5 R) }6 b* MI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.3 C$ v y0 E% _" y$ L
2 I* R+ y. N/ i8 o4 mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.' j" M2 y& y+ s0 u8 o H
! P- S& {9 Y( l* S+ II worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:( A' c' t9 I& s# r* @
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" {. R' [% P7 B! v. r1 ?. l
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And the second one was:8 _4 a Y) Z" B( x) Y/ _
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"$ m6 R0 I. r( z& R# ]
4 a# `2 k3 V3 t3 d) iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% I' M I. b7 J' V
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ ?) R7 b0 S8 C5 ^+ W {' Q
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 `$ d9 A; A8 u9 N& d) ^6 J
: s; Y: g- B" R: t/ E' XSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"6 Q# R0 h* T" f& K9 a& x. I
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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; l' n0 @+ o$ }0 m/ s# v+ {This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 @0 g: e& ]2 C4 [
0 w# X7 A, E# C! ?, xThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:' `+ ^. }$ O' e) R
: M7 N9 x3 L5 M" g. `1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- c5 f4 A1 Z2 Q1 A6 M8 J2 t
) D/ E# r4 N1 _2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.) a4 c8 e9 n2 v2 {5 d/ K
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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3 G' o: u, ~' SJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 W8 H. o- j! t! R" ~ o5 X T
f7 F# w7 s" x8 q) q' k! x" r5 pRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.7 L3 w H+ E* V1 U7 T; x5 F
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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