 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ e* k2 N! a# ^9 A. O
4 l# z7 y* {: sI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
% ]% d& t. a7 b/ G4 V: M; u5 R( O9 D5 w4 g5 W- Z
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 F+ @& V6 m. @5 [4 ?& @
1 y2 E% q/ v% X0 e4 RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
8 ?9 Q' i8 M( e, B& \# M. |9 p# k0 _5 j* P4 L4 o) @, \( }$ \8 X% n
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
: k* b% m) z) |. u& g" D7 s7 I; @! Q- L) ?3 W) G1 {
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ c$ T: Y% ]* }) b9 u8 \: f
, b. e0 M4 M2 @$ U$ W4 b& O. `$ [
And the second one was:
' L# i r+ }+ J& d4 m7 h
4 @/ G7 B2 T0 |9 Q5 O9 X"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 k& P1 X) R: r/ a; _
1 Q3 Q: W- ]2 W7 m" `- x3 u! u1 rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; E/ n) M7 c( I8 _. U F& U+ ]
( i3 Q' b e$ \' F* b, }8 Y3 L
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' Z; ?* [8 y/ U: n0 u9 o- Y) B
7 `' A% h3 |5 XI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
4 D" N/ j; p7 Z- K/ O0 T$ x1 q& ~2 ?& K3 ~, F* p R
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
4 f, J1 G" ~! m! b6 F* m z* a
( T/ ~0 K: w; M# q! G4 h/ XI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."8 F; O$ B# M' B C& q& z
% z3 E2 @ |* zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! a+ e: |. Z E( e% a# N) k
2 z6 E" c* O5 X+ u3 t$ E* J% X0 L
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
0 {: b, O4 Y/ O8 p/ F
: q! P: J5 U; ~1 x$ N8 QThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 A, O& X0 L& E
) Y6 e+ T+ i7 d5 T( ?
Thank you very much!
! s% C# l6 ^: n! O+ b4 t2 O. Z
+ t0 \) y, ^7 V+ r! a==========================
; Q) F7 ]8 O' M/ w
8 C# ]3 ?# d1 u: ?8 u2 V& RImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
+ f$ L) [, q0 M+ L8 x
) {, j/ t3 O5 L$ @* M1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
+ H" s- A0 k$ E2 r% K- }( m. R( v8 Q: c/ V! g/ v
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. u+ s' A" f8 A, G2 c& ^& D
( @" G% L5 @; i, x1 K
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: O/ `4 n4 |' L" h5 x& e! W+ i* |
0 M% I- J2 j2 S: R5 Y3 s v
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( x5 [ P" k% |" T) M3 q2 @5 i$ J. H
$ {, @7 g+ L3 ^
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 ]) h) Q& p p" {, J2 w8 _6 n+ Z
4 C& j1 B4 D) `6 i
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|