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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 b2 s" h" h( s6 x
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& R+ v0 R% G- G; W
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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! R0 G" p" L& v"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"/ a1 R$ Z3 o0 g7 k+ I( p
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:1 {4 x2 X8 `! o+ c1 m/ s$ X
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 W$ _% M* D; C& e$ P% Z' K1 P
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; _6 Y, E3 `! @% Y2 E7 M"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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5 k/ S6 ]+ E- B; OI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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" g, ^7 `3 s  I1 D- yI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- v5 R$ u' {5 D5 z
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 F9 ^* j5 {' T' I7 N0 u- ~
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Thank you very much!
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; |$ p0 e, V5 \Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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  U/ `5 A- I( G7 [1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' t% ]1 |# r  ^/ s/ o; ^$ z6 d5 H1 t
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.2 @. U  i5 k4 a8 E) z5 J" u

9 u5 {) j" F+ h9 u- w# {Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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- w& k1 q/ q, I: B& V3 \8 v" z1 \Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 5 N4 f  p1 a7 F  M! i5 C" ]( n! Q
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。3 X9 Z6 r9 z/ k4 W0 q
怎么理解?
) C3 Y: G. |1 }5 I+ U! W50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
8 w& Y, j- t3 p7 N怎么理解?! q; L. H2 j/ f+ F1 Z
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?6 B8 y% r* T( V: u) ]
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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- t, U# P- S7 h, r  Z我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
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: i6 p% h$ x0 K7 z" @4 [" r  M$ b- r我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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