 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 r, e; W! k9 @5 @: `
4 _" a8 H W9 w9 PI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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4 ~4 e+ r; j$ g3 B3 U+ \* G"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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/ F5 ^, K* N7 x$ \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- D1 B9 ]' U0 |
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And the second one was:7 K, [/ v. ?: ?8 U" v* u M
1 |/ q, S {6 ^& U"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 ~! J8 a9 c/ z7 U0 oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' c5 r+ ]9 {+ z6 u- X' O
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?" Z* o, i1 k% o# k. i/ R
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?, b5 F- a2 ~+ {) S
, n& @3 C+ v) N" \I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! D4 M3 Q! U+ }4 m# F- `
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."0 Q* C4 V, @& ~, O. o& z$ P _
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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7 C! K4 \5 Y9 F2 h" T$ G- }Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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. W, N; c3 G+ U8 S' qThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' W0 B4 l) K- m" B, {) D
. {+ Q$ {. J* s- K nThank you very much!
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: {( U$ \- M: Z$ V1 c9 T7 g& IImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:( {" C- H. W: r3 g9 Z9 q
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.. W2 L; K1 \! d3 h E( d9 r2 @* k
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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: [4 J' h' @ s3 _& N8 L"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% @" J6 v/ V/ o s- L o
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.8 J9 \+ `2 e, p: p7 X
( M' G0 [9 ^3 V. `1 R, }7 n3 rThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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