 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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1 b( x7 q" Q2 ?3 _& K3 m" \I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 t# i2 I# L2 R8 y- U$ y5 T
# S" `6 h- o9 D6 NI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ \& J( I3 s/ R, T* s
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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) G) O8 [, W3 A"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 n0 i8 Y6 ^3 l+ }- k( h
/ f* G m+ ^# G/ t$ D5 q3 H! a, NI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" `1 `. X1 v3 a4 O- C4 V5 i/ C- I4 S% u- R
7 C2 p) h4 B, \" a. A% @4 k) f7 \! FAnd the second one was:" I# W% u( x( L1 `6 |
; T) G/ T+ I' A"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ U. v' C. _" `" n0 p
/ z e% K+ ^+ v6 M6 o8 K: j/ U/ eI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) C" k" E6 L) y6 n; ?9 z
* N% Q. U/ o- D' h( T"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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6 T0 B* V' g, a0 t: H1 i, lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?5 J! W! ?0 m& a
* o8 K$ |: w; y7 A9 ^6 j8 PI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.": h) i; y$ S% ?2 N0 V' O
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?" M6 G) U3 d) E4 {7 q9 b0 V, ]: ~5 [
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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. ^8 u$ d# V2 M- g6 a$ GThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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3 D# t# U! q. A" b$ l5 vThank you very much!9 }& L+ e. b" P' ?1 X8 b( Y
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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7 [+ z: ~' o* X1 l/ i |1 M1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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9 d5 z3 |4 W5 E& S2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.+ y& T ~! }$ X: h# S! T) Y6 n) z
9 |9 p8 e6 w" v1 x"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.; s1 H) H& q; I9 j2 a# R2 H
8 G. {: ~# O. u$ ^- _Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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* ]- y$ D" X1 ~5 ^% URoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.# M+ e6 V7 D9 `$ G: T' x9 f5 _6 B& {
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
