 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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( u) S; _0 _1 F; [I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.8 K/ P; h. l& Z1 I p* M
9 x5 Y: d4 z! y9 pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. A6 w# A& k; |# W7 F
6 P4 r' [4 `/ ~1 K2 ?0 aI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?" u, X9 l) ?6 s/ d8 k. w7 `6 U
h- v: g; ]. RI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. c! ]# r$ Y9 `% O2 X" o' S3 _
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And the second one was:$ Z6 B. t( a5 K) A0 _
7 J# y7 ]" o0 w+ o"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- i7 O( |! d" `1 W1 A k
: S A% `; b. o. ]7 L1 Q9 K"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" B# F! A* n/ e, b
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 B. I5 C" t# v0 Y- T* T8 {' jI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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: Q. w3 ?2 W5 L, N( U5 V; XI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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" _) c, M7 {; mSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& a$ f7 u/ ]8 P- R T
( X7 v* f8 f1 }; INow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ r* Y, r8 B; L8 L* T
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.* m" d+ W6 ]% c, v* W7 B# F6 Z
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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9 X8 Y; c* {5 \"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 i. P" ~" u% s: m$ N" T; I, R
- O3 N! h+ L6 }) tRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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# ]5 x8 W0 j& h! GThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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