 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.% r/ I4 W$ R2 `; j* k- y
$ {5 l5 U7 F2 j9 D" YI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.4 ~4 |2 p% i2 Y! Y5 ^" G* e# J) Q
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 O i& @+ N6 I6 j& ^; h
# F. L" o8 {) Z! L7 j7 ?) uI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* R2 o& L% A6 a* X2 J' Y
7 x8 w6 T% k. H1 ?; v3 G1 {"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! s6 W) a) g9 Z, y
/ t3 {! m: B# j& M( }I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* E% m: q, ]) J, ^6 oAnd the second one was:2 k2 A" G. Z+ O# e" Q! v/ H+ f
7 G. e& F2 ~2 f! S* n"What's the 2nd Amendment?"2 u# k0 h* z. x
+ W. u/ B; C( x$ m8 {- u- H) W! xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ ?! L0 _4 k6 K0 U- }"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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) k7 g" m( q9 {4 M* ^I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% o' ~( W' U+ K- j
Q5 |" @+ G8 ~ VI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- W/ R6 y, U c) j! c' ?6 l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 K( I7 B. m2 e4 i
, f( t, L$ ~& o0 ?1 @: G/ q. ?$ f1 INow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.” {( p& O3 X' W3 r& \ u
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.; E7 ~7 m, T; X2 a
5 _' f9 E7 F- e- M' @( GThank you very much!, X# t& |/ @9 e
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ n3 N( T( H: H+ m$ A+ V5 n
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* t' M: g Y1 }" e8 g5 Z- \ n
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. S- t0 H4 A7 G c
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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$ r1 H2 q4 l: T& V; q; G9 J$ V a, l YRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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