 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. c3 u I+ h, ^! W+ L [; y8 w5 E$ }
( u% h% e; [3 b+ tI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 K( L8 B" L W8 I P i
! p" Y* q8 \! [9 s: n; N8 Z" I"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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5 t- S. [# B; Y0 i& k; MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; k0 J9 f. L+ }And the second one was:5 | D. ]/ P$ F
( P+ b |2 F8 O1 e' p t9 N# Q"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& Z. Q# \$ D& b+ [; A
7 n$ b0 m& K& ?9 O, @. I8 ~/ G( nI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% F1 J4 |( |' y) j
. [; |# _ Q) A7 U tI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!1 H3 O8 H* C# s6 ?6 o! W/ Q& h
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ [0 Y4 g: o7 ^
/ g e) e" D- S$ t( }) T: e, LSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"6 t% W' a% l, p
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.5 L0 O& g9 [+ i, e- W/ Q- T
u2 C# K; O, ]4 J7 L f' V, oThank you very much!
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) U# }+ @) s( h, ]* B; UImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& Q3 {7 L- S4 h+ T
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 R3 m0 f- e1 |. [' _$ P: U n+ Q1 j
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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8 \* f) a2 e( |2 g% B: gJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".; z7 x) J2 v4 o- P' V
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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' }7 {+ N. x" m( p. ~- ^2 oThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
