 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.' Q* |) H1 p* _- p9 [
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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& A- s. C# d' w3 C( p4 aI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.5 ~* w7 u9 N3 N- e6 t, M
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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- X/ h) i C [( U( k( II was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ R2 V d. u% P! H' Q9 N1 pAnd the second one was:
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7 t- [+ Q6 G- T& T2 H a/ Z1 _"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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$ p( [) d% Q3 ]8 n! QI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 r0 U) U5 A% ?' V2 Z+ f
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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* J$ `$ h# B* f& P% m5 T3 QI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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, k2 m9 @2 p% _3 ISo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"% c: q, F5 v+ f
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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6 J+ e+ K D7 _$ e( I) O. ~This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!, i7 R* f. |" L& t
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* u- A- z( M9 x# [/ K6 kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, N4 G7 q @) H+ d
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.: Y6 G8 o, X% n: F, m7 g. R6 {0 _
$ Y2 A' d) T. a2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. A/ ]9 O- ?5 n+ [# E$ ~1 D+ \
# v( z. C- O5 c5 V( \+ V$ p, sJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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5 F7 B/ {" R3 Q1 `( W) Z5 x8 CRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.% {8 t u, U: [! V5 L- j
/ z- y3 {$ S% i" U; m! G* uThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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