 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. |' _; A1 S3 }; hI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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% I% ~: t+ C5 H5 r) bI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. I8 J5 C& f ~, x7 F& z D
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:) j$ e7 a/ t0 b" v
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# X9 Z0 a' u' c# UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; t& U9 ^! |* s! b! y) x4 O3 q. r8 m
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And the second one was:
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1 g( z7 I6 S( o! a"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( L: A1 s: R5 c& j2 b
% Z" w5 c4 J& L9 e2 AI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 G7 U q, S: v: n
% \; R) R0 u: [- g+ f"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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% v r: z' Z* P P" eI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?1 O( B) q6 i' K
- h) l, `8 l& H2 L/ G) B! UI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!4 [* m& x" T$ A; |! J4 F. Y
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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$ X2 @3 Z3 M8 W7 o1 U Y- @So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 B: R! C/ \% T* b; q! X
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”! F9 g/ m ]( e4 e2 B3 Q, p1 X
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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% C' J4 _/ z. ~% A) Z! gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. j0 b o9 q" Q6 B6 }+ Q8 P
; P4 F' @6 c1 i2 [1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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" D' s* l `! a' I% U, a"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.7 A6 {: ]" X4 W: c! v/ ?+ f2 ?
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". D; i: C0 D2 x+ d% r
" I4 ~! a( M: gRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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8 e7 i' I- p2 m0 w: UThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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