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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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- V, u' f, E$ Q* F( KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.# o* g/ G, D" Y; j

7 [4 j; x, b% {I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:, G# Q: u# _. k6 F. t8 s
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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/ r& z; D# \( T7 n- s( F* r' BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 S- K4 w5 z5 u' e"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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+ [' D) R% P; y0 AI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ J; i" {9 j' W) b$ z3 i
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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3 a7 j7 A/ J$ y4 t, k, c. s3 MSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 n9 F- G# W' ^" i5 Y$ _: v7 j% K- D

- ~# E; I% [5 E% JNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- @( [* W' y) q& G' M2 u
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.+ {- D4 z( D8 z# R6 o, a; ^

; ^1 J4 ]4 ^. u& h* k- T- oThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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$ {; h  V# a1 c1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." r7 @" U3 q4 Q4 k- S( T9 _) |9 Z

, Q" s1 h) z, X: M. j+ a5 `"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.) `  C# f$ _& Q- }

3 \2 c' S7 ^( P  A6 t2 T/ G& mJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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# }" |( C8 k) b  pThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
# k6 n5 L6 g/ ~0 V2 k- |: s* R9 t8 H+ ka young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
6 ]" [6 n. e8 I& |5 I怎么理解?7 M5 ^6 i2 F" D7 D$ Y" e
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 ( U: y. d2 v, u& W1 k2 c1 v
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4 q' z: n4 G* H, |0 ]" V. S- n不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
! R. K0 d' z: @! O/ c9 b怎么理解?
* t, L$ f* ~( T1 Z+ O$ e9 T' j7 q/ ~50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?3 n% `6 ^& n0 U
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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' P. z! v: m% r我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳 $ b$ t8 O, s! v4 C

$ j/ d! Q+ z: N4 |5 n我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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