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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* [3 ~9 a( w1 C2 t# g/ |" x

, g- B4 D  g5 D* v( @0 Z+ lI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.( w" Y$ p# F5 P. L( m
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% K2 |/ t' a" {: L& \% ^! x1 n( D

$ l: e+ X( w+ z5 V! W6 x. y+ i5 [$ PI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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5 h0 |& Q/ g/ j- I; h"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": U# \; o. j1 f% M& j: z0 S, Z

9 r& ?7 T/ h6 \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 m, q2 l1 D: e: ~, S- ^8 n2 ~I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 ^' z# j7 e# }7 K

2 R( @! V" t- O3 ~( T"What is Roe vs. Wade?". a/ n1 B! u! ~3 g9 Q4 x

5 u% Z$ N4 c8 uI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?: }; h5 L6 i6 r5 J
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". p: B- X# j1 ^2 _7 ~
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", _" G( O8 Y3 u+ }! t

7 C! n- ~( ]) i$ B" VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!) s7 z; H, K" Z# A2 L  q/ E1 c, n
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% b$ r% m; }- Z  QImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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4 E3 x# A8 Z$ H8 Y) _9 i2 b" Y8 G1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 \% B) g2 ?# g: X2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 @; T2 B; y1 u! q
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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& W2 Z4 H; I! B* b7 L; t6 v$ W/ eJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% g* N+ T' n: a. S- ORoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.6 @; A5 o9 ~# ~

1 X0 {8 `" {  H& p8 J- P5 s8 ?The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
6 C; ^" D: a' f1 t( Ea young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
2 o* j5 [7 f3 ^1 n3 a5 x& s) `, p怎么理解?. N& n+ q- w9 K6 B  s* E& @
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
: z( E5 ]. _; L; T, x5 e7 S$ s怎么理解?+ l2 f! x/ A/ ^; v
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?( p! _- S6 ^9 W. X
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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* V0 Y$ J+ y) ~' X4 I/ W我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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