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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) I9 }" W2 F2 [7 P

0 f3 k% t9 A  B# tI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 L7 H. m/ T  H"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) R' F( }" M6 h6 e7 y* P9 w
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And the second one was:
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8 r' D; F. K# D$ T1 ]"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& v, h8 d4 R% W1 x

; z% T9 I  G" v9 A4 `I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?# ~( k% m2 U& {/ ]) w0 z% Y% ?, h
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!1 ~. R7 f# J" W: w& Q- k: o/ H8 V

0 y  u) ?, x: q. \* b3 r# x: W5 qI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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. x7 ^% S+ i- }# R  iSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ H1 s9 e% M* \1 Q

# Q+ J& ]" a: N' j1 p* b% INow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”# p- y( x8 _4 z$ o% F

# Z% S! {2 |& r5 NThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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# Q$ h, M. V/ f9 B. h- j/ r( M7 zThank you very much!. S5 C; I0 e' c3 I. n
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==========================
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$ V3 v1 X! \& o) mImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:6 C5 Y0 Q8 z) v: x
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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; [& n: `5 K: K% P( ~* @8 _2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 w7 i* z0 ]% n. a# D
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ P  X' R. n/ P9 C  n9 c
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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& v) \* w7 K6 N2 F' E1 sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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0 V$ e! s3 j9 D% f, Q% y, m0 E5 XThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
0 k0 }( P5 O' Da young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
$ ?5 A! f4 ~# M# D) D0 |& e怎么理解?0 {# n: E5 V" ^
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。3 M1 J) [- ]7 r7 m
怎么理解?; W! V6 N8 r0 h# `
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?) [: r; A- E- s1 W
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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