黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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. Y8 d$ ~: p- v5 x# v' [I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:

0 ^+ f2 n$ ?$ c+ C( m. C  w"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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/ y# `1 n" h9 M& GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:

9 i2 W. T& ^) k; ~  [2 ["What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' U) ]: {) {; w* X6 L) O"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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/ w/ R$ I( E3 Z. M& y5 A! Q4 FI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!

I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

% ]7 N: w: C9 D! K" ^/ L$ o& fSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

: F7 p7 A1 U2 W( BNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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3 o+ m9 K8 V* Q8 o' E- v: u8 g* zThank you very much!

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. t! _' y* }. kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

' Q! X% t9 m2 Z: ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

! P2 K! s- |; d# |% v3 JJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.

The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
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; E9 L* O" W3 M$ [% `6 z& t+ F
  X3 W7 M* b6 c) p5 r不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
; O. a7 c2 }  K) b/ g  `7 h5 ^50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
0 z( Q8 l3 a! \7 n4 P+ xcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
/ ?, c( x4 ]  t; u4 c% v
) z: c' Q3 Z- l8 A* l, F我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.