 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe. l, }- [6 v' Y- C
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 p8 v" e' U, q2 oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 V) R* r+ P+ s. [0 Y; J
' u6 Z! I) [# R0 hAnd the second one was:+ ~2 L9 R" e: k" r" ^- S8 b
: m/ L& I- I5 v0 E9 Y; z6 X"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 W9 ~# N8 C( m& s; J, v% ~
" K: e1 f. z) C2 B3 V# q) U"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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* i9 y5 ?9 J; }/ J1 `I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", H% {1 b$ J) T# }, Z
7 K9 Y6 C1 P5 S. fSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"7 @0 q0 V" P3 b# m
9 P! k4 x8 U/ A6 k; o, @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 I" S, H6 P, R2 e! ^$ j0 [3 A7 x! ]
s9 p& ?4 d6 v. k3 wThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.: l8 |! B1 ]& v) Q4 T; w: y
6 h2 w1 z% r. x( qThank you very much!+ |5 I* c2 y* a, R! X
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, X' t/ m* M. V" d6 A0 EImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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S7 |* m4 u" ^ q4 t1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& H5 W/ v" \" A6 m( k0 L9 W: _# B! t
) W- h' z# V* n' i6 _" w2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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; o, A7 H% Y& ^, \"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# i1 N8 @; T* Z' i# K& d2 {
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 h) S" z* p3 E+ v
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.! I+ l$ x$ f9 L4 [6 G0 s1 u) c! f
( I6 @7 o/ E9 d* QThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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