 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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' k' r# l c3 Q9 X; uI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 X3 l3 y+ I( t% T; P+ k( v1 F- e
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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) @3 X# C% x( a, H% _- B) ]4 LI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- s1 y3 k6 _; m: B2 z
$ c& n# `# M+ O. B& N, i"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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% i( a1 ?9 d6 J; ?. h: A$ iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' `+ p5 v& ^7 _7 r3 q6 o2 C9 lAnd the second one was:- h, B4 o P- d3 H. c' N- ]; m
& h/ w2 ^: d7 x1 ?7 J. ?"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% @# v8 Y* k, F7 [
' B1 f0 _# E: T5 J' }I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 H9 { l$ x6 ^3 b0 S5 }
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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. G7 J" K$ h- f9 lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% f( z8 g6 B8 r6 Z+ w- A- @. R( O& |3 R+ J7 o
. h( h$ S( o7 E4 w& d6 R& qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!2 g$ ?+ X2 a1 ~/ g: O/ }, J h5 s( E
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."$ o$ k* ^7 v/ e; }/ `
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ P% @8 }. A/ j9 o
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 ?2 M& E r3 c
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ l' |& J# s3 \, B2 s- P( P8 t+ }
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Thank you very much!9 |; @+ k6 `9 a5 q Y" J; n% X/ R
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:' y7 F4 r% Z$ Q* A
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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2 P. T+ D5 A" V"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.% \: l6 h. j" R$ @9 g, \0 q5 E
+ A' @ l+ ?, ZJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"., I) _, V: p, S
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 p6 k/ X. m! x! e3 ~! A$ B& @% Z
* X: ~( o) s4 @$ w7 Y1 rThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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