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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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1 q  {) c' J3 rI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:  ~6 u" m3 V" t6 q; z

/ V5 x8 b$ o8 Y1 h" e! e" k"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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' }$ u; D- J6 ?/ s# v. h* UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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- ^* D' W% _$ I" wAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?". k( v" J: J. p
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ I2 l" x: q$ D- P! V: i. _

$ I. P% X2 Q* h! K1 D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"$ N' J$ y. v  w
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 m  v$ s4 P4 K! i$ |
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."5 p. N# v" h. [  ^- j

6 l1 Q; j1 E$ M& K, g( Q7 ~So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"" s, @: N. [+ j% J- D( r
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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; l: m: F9 G  |0 I  E7 w0 a7 ZThank you very much!
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" e5 ]( H8 p6 QImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:+ W1 n9 {7 p' R$ X% e

* ^  W. ^% E1 W4 d0 _: e1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& W4 F. X4 n# @. A  p+ Y

+ h/ `& h* n/ K8 e. J2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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& Q6 O& B  w- d; |. p* _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. b  n8 n3 E! z( J

5 [" @) W, h/ Y/ c+ ]5 |Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".1 D' ^0 d2 Y1 E- v) i/ Y* X
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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2 ?% h, J: D7 ?8 `( @0 b. DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
/ p# h! f7 [+ Ca young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
5 s) L( D7 S# r, t怎么理解?
5 @# t& z! [5 E$ L$ w. L8 g5 N( r50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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8 m6 @: x* G1 F  D2 q7 m不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
  Y; N: J% b  G- `+ N% [$ J9 h怎么理解?, g3 ~' u$ ], O; _" u" \# f" B
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?0 p, `# o$ P; @8 u6 _8 x
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳 ' P) G# U6 B8 G7 Q/ S! R# e4 ]* O" h
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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