 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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- L" R2 A' {! S% x& SI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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- p: I# i4 g9 q+ pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; H! Q( c' N7 C5 P+ S' ^7 F
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"5 Y1 c; r& D) r' [
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! S# Y' e, C5 D6 N6 Z
( L) l% ^! ?1 u6 yAnd the second one was:6 d( D: C2 i2 K z$ B
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ z$ B* G5 [9 p
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?( o8 D9 j" w# |! M
- B9 i1 }; W$ r9 C1 v* J' C; _1 u- o3 CI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 j: ~/ X+ ]8 `3 _
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."% K4 {' J) S( {. I
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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7 Z0 E/ ^+ \ `* Y1 t, FNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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* m. }# k2 J lThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 L' R o1 o; `0 m# y! M
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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& E. \+ q2 m1 }( c6 l( p) v1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 N" ?2 P( N5 o9 \" @9 }* w3 F! Z, e
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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( ?1 Y$ ^4 ]" Z, S"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.' y" Y- N6 ]) h
+ @7 F- B/ V% l4 k4 yJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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# l8 P& H! }" r# eRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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! s: p+ i1 `1 \0 Y* a$ b2 {6 UThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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