 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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7 K# u$ g5 R% r) _I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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! A- Y$ X5 B. @% F \* ~"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"& ^$ e+ }7 o5 n: x$ S/ g2 m2 y
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# s5 c+ w3 m4 R/ L+ B8 e
7 A: F, m7 ^% B* x. |And the second one was:
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+ I2 G( |& M$ s' J. N$ K' ["What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?" r" L5 V3 ~) m2 a/ e7 }+ K
& I1 K9 e5 ^; H$ e+ HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; U+ l; [4 u! J/ n, G4 s% D
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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7 \- @8 @, P$ ^, T4 x9 ]I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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3 G4 U$ J; r. S! l1 s9 F# nSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”( r- V( v6 `" V- v0 ^3 q
. _2 @% H5 c) T# x+ z9 qThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) ~0 A% F/ x$ U8 A% f. o( R2 |
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Thank you very much!% H9 C5 ?; K% t* [& T% `
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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) s1 x+ `: f2 W* n2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# [+ b z' C. V; a, @) p
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. J) e3 c E- i. @$ G
( @7 V |* O( Y( AJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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3 X3 ~% R' `" ^. n, P: CRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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' ?8 Q( y: q: c% KThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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