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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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8 K* z7 ]( _+ {+ R& TI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." T& C/ ]  U" t3 }& k# m

" O1 ?" o% @6 p' wI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; f7 i& n/ D) C
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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& T/ b  @6 p9 q/ m' I. c5 i* sI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 J; L7 l5 j7 A$ c6 q: `  @
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And the second one was:! i' m9 B0 E& ]1 E, U: k! n( j7 n

7 q  i/ N5 V2 _2 x! P' B"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ m- C0 s1 m# \# X
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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9 f5 n, J* h4 H2 xI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.": k. M4 t$ [$ ^5 y, ^. B+ `
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", u+ b) E+ R: ?9 J5 z) f
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”4 H3 @# u  t9 E* o+ H9 r1 e7 L+ H

6 g" |& D4 a) \' h! PThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ g( j; Y. g7 S) ?9 M, P

. P* `: M2 D; m5 D* RThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:$ I9 k+ n6 T' G# ?

, A% [' D) u8 q) m8 S1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.  h% T  a$ K& r- H

( A" G, y9 ^$ y4 C  vJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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3 p9 u4 ^5 \2 V. ^" }Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US., k  n" |( }! @! `) `5 E
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 1 P% H6 e( Z/ C+ W
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。2 D' t: l8 C9 g$ s4 ?  x9 z( S
怎么理解?
, t7 {: n$ w3 U4 C$ d50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 ' c$ x1 @$ D5 ?7 r- d$ A' ^2 Y7 i

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( G" t! I7 M- K/ ^不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。+ P8 e# ]  c7 t$ j8 o! f9 [
怎么理解?/ k- n9 y, ~" ]7 r* C
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
8 _/ f  v$ A2 G, ~) pcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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, W* H/ Y" }5 a0 }$ B1 K3 X& u我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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