 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 I) D! N6 }: Z' f4 k& R
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 I5 X& z# z7 Y# A( O9 `
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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' K' ^6 q. l! Z7 |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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* V8 n& C: m" ~) LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 J3 ], V8 z6 p- P
2 Y! x8 d$ R" k9 W1 I) P" qAnd the second one was:: ]: l9 N: u- a
3 y# j( V |# `' V8 a; L"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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. @ O1 P0 H3 D) _. @! NI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?0 K/ g1 G/ Z. u+ H8 S4 v
' O" \" l$ F& c$ W5 i* m! d3 wI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."1 Z3 G% t. |# S
" m9 {8 Y; `( SSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"# a# C2 k. I& S8 D$ k
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”8 s5 S4 R2 a/ P7 D& v. \2 A
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 J& z) ^9 Y% s- _+ A. m: [9 [7 ]. p& G
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Thank you very much!
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2 O. s9 X7 Z( t) s% UImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.' {/ r0 C ], C& {! k5 m4 y
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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% `( x, M6 C, b A7 u" M5 x, U"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# D( m3 ]7 l9 G8 @9 r" q
) x0 F1 ]4 Y0 A; Q8 z, WJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- U! C- m( W4 O$ N& |( C
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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$ O! X" ^+ H* O: D5 AThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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