 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
( H! l! M7 l5 g
) ?8 p/ r" X' ]5 o5 ]- H) v( yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
' t- s* Y! J4 s2 ]0 r; S p& p7 `! N5 A! U' N* }' { g, k3 f# A
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.8 W- E7 ?4 f4 _+ ^+ Q& C
! {/ N n. S* a& C2 hI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
/ P& O; n& u8 W0 v
( O5 b& Z# _3 P$ ?) M/ ]/ i! x"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 @5 \- c8 J, |4 @5 E: {
8 G5 \4 p$ Z+ w7 s% N2 W% B
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# ~' \! A( o' ?4 G3 K7 Y5 C
4 q6 w+ z: k/ ?
And the second one was:3 i$ r. ~9 j6 r2 B
/ Z; W' b( f' L& {$ x( y; o"What's the 2nd Amendment?"7 x* P6 h, E- p) U% A8 X# e
9 K0 Y; n$ J/ x" qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
. J* f& d1 s1 B2 H: f
& l8 p: g9 P2 |' g8 y, K) U- C' b"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
( p' S, `* ~% E; h0 k7 @ Z0 |8 ?9 m
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?4 e" x+ M+ D5 l) F" @* r
* Q& N5 p9 w! k- @! Z( xI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!# k1 v9 R; E J s
* ^+ @, q/ n4 z; |5 t
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
' C }( }: L) a1 f7 {0 e8 T& E8 Y
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"9 @2 t) y0 Z; y- g
$ }& J. ?6 P. b/ d) x+ n; e7 ]
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”! e3 N. a5 @2 K e+ t4 D
4 p9 u( Q! N6 w" L- y
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
9 h: c O. j* v$ Z+ J( v; V) j# m5 |% V. F
Thank you very much!
; H: k7 ~) p6 d2 q7 o# u
2 G& n3 E7 L' X1 ^0 a==========================/ Q! I: v* r9 Q
; c& K( p ?7 Q' o" N
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
3 U- G4 R) c! k- x! F6 y& C" H1 m' y/ ]# Z3 _5 M9 W* n$ c( u3 v
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) L& M2 a* w6 f- J$ ?
: H' W P. ?. h& |7 A. O2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
+ f3 r3 `) _/ c# _+ N% y
9 ]3 g* Y% ^2 a0 c4 D: T j0 G, X8 ^6 Z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 W! q- J( p$ f3 R
' I+ G3 M: [. H4 F6 ~+ i. C
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".7 f2 Y/ p& ~3 ]2 I
% B. h9 c" X0 dRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
6 s8 v5 `& {7 z5 k8 ^$ N6 Z2 v
) L' J" i1 I$ Q% ^0 HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
