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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.( {' `+ d0 r0 g

; s# d. w0 C8 B5 }: M$ xI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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! b8 Y" Q. [# ]3 i( vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.5 G7 a% v5 y  h7 S+ m+ |

1 F3 a1 e/ C7 RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# s4 X) }4 y  M; E& Q4 z0 v! r

' Y' e: p! [0 D3 \$ v"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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" [2 y- \' f! X3 A$ U"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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6 G. u. T" z. x& ]9 I; MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 p! D9 [% _7 k8 c! ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ U  z; y2 D& g% T7 D  \$ q+ Q0 a

# g/ o, `, E" U# K! x& U' b0 VI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!( y* W6 d4 H8 r

% ~9 }& r; N3 Y1 wI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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" O; j$ |+ ^" b, i: H- wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' ~$ X: p6 u  P8 r. ?

2 q9 ^5 F. V- q  y% I+ yNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”, O2 S) y; K0 a) D! Z- @9 \
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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, y: f3 I0 V/ w1 ?Thank you very much!
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- y( `' _' p; A$ l2 E" L$ n* hImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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) [+ ~( _4 ?9 P% {6 I: g  ]"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.9 D' i$ V5 |. S2 {2 a5 O

6 W' \. ^( N8 Q7 V& i3 `) [* ~Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".5 z  }+ r& }8 ]& L) a. f

- Y( l' P( s# K5 ?; VRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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& u5 O, Y& g5 {! |The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
: ^# A6 @- ^: F& Y" W3 fa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
/ y1 [* R( Q5 B' h/ `! C: o怎么理解?; n+ t3 F0 Q% g' v* M. V: }
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。) R4 t+ Z6 K9 V" x+ F: e
怎么理解?% o6 f7 n/ y8 f+ W: C
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?, \: ?' k" ], C6 I# H
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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: _0 U- z$ a6 i* P0 W, d3 }我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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