 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ E$ |. u. T' T" {- ~
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.; Q) Q% @. |, ~/ h+ [8 Y
F8 a# R1 ]% P- UI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 ?, S" M* Q. {9 N2 F' e" J$ ~
0 U! _# x. @* Q( m/ D- _"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"' E3 s* L+ Z' Z
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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' P0 w( {3 `7 [. q"What's the 2nd Amendment?". C4 B1 K V, q2 g' R' s
) F: Q' r) R- O: ~4 j% KI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 `: Q, P @: v- L
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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9 g" g' w8 R6 t0 ?7 ^8 AI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% F: w0 ~5 p* {- |/ a0 Y
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% t; R- N- U8 G/ g# [+ p
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 ]# _, G7 }# `2 b3 j. n+ s
6 {5 r. Q% O4 TSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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# J/ X# n" k; l9 x5 d- {% YThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!1 z9 X) g& N5 i2 k/ n3 b
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) e% ?- \* U+ uImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- [; ~$ w0 J4 D3 f# B/ f
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 Y! {! Y# n- V
& H7 ]8 N8 a% R5 _( [' x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 a ~8 [2 B& a2 u, C- \) E
5 H) Z' O0 V# Y% W/ X3 m2 L"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.% A7 ~8 d/ H s) O ~
& ~1 E' ~1 V7 v- j4 m+ t9 W \Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".. @) g$ j9 i" K9 V. J
8 \$ o1 {& e1 q9 GRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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