 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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6 }* n4 \$ q2 k4 T8 J0 yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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/ t, o0 K6 Z9 I# ]/ u: |3 P! P7 c"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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3 N! G4 m# ?) Q3 p3 ~4 L# n1 nI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 M3 a7 K, j+ g2 R% {# c) I
# i% `) H$ s( W* W2 G- ZAnd the second one was:
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. a7 e" \1 Q5 n"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 D2 G5 A5 Z# T2 Y$ PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 `# t" C9 n# z5 [# |"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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0 @6 h8 ]7 W- y1 a) y& _I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?9 t+ o* D8 `2 B F, ^
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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) Z/ X' Z' X1 YSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 ~5 G* o. A( n6 z
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”% H+ K: b3 j$ Y! }0 I" \
y j T7 R- {. YThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.6 m( |) ]. a' k! @% |% L+ r
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Thank you very much!- ^/ O7 o: [# g7 A! x' `% g& p
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5 e5 c. x6 d5 s% f5 vImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:4 B; ^! E: f& @( U4 P ]: J2 G5 j
" f/ n7 ~) Z6 b* k& ~, X1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) [: S% w, q& l9 g) F" t, ?3 d
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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$ H7 _; n f' O0 }: L& K1 X u"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".4 @# }( A+ {6 g5 X
5 l& U+ q: t3 A- `5 ?8 NRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.8 N2 z" `: e& M# l6 ]
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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