 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
& X8 h. v c$ C9 [. \: Z% t7 I
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.! _# j5 ]0 G# D" `3 S0 a
) p+ O6 K9 g% C* eI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
4 i! D3 Z- G: N* V6 x% V* F+ l$ o) t
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; R/ S8 t! ]2 \, ?. ]
. \- F M) _8 ^! m6 g0 E! b
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
, T; _# ?( O/ j
- C- b# @7 ~/ n* EI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ B2 j6 |$ C0 K/ t, M6 _
2 y1 f4 M" ^) e
And the second one was:
" o H Q' {; J+ B1 w! T4 @+ O3 y- g: N* @$ G, d% |& F
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% N; ?' X5 s* G3 \3 r! v
: l' p6 K# f ~: h7 r' C8 |. ?8 HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! x0 d8 C& |* g4 h
) j; k3 G( K9 q+ K- W2 e4 Q5 E( u"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
9 c! } S) `: @3 ^! x$ Q$ t+ |6 }) K* P
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
, E5 ^ s9 @6 r4 L: c: D2 x
4 z$ x9 {8 W5 B; T7 BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!: \% d* V" r/ w0 r" @8 X/ f) @
; m2 H& e0 n+ q1 L" k1 mI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."9 o4 }1 R+ J F. h( I5 x
# k% E4 y4 o4 c$ U5 a- H* \7 e
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 c2 P# @- M% E- y! J' S
2 Y3 F! H* U5 H N" w1 T1 N; CNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
0 a# |; h4 a) t/ y0 O
+ x/ t0 g! y: o. `! dThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
! K* s% h- W a0 _- S8 P+ E2 |" m5 ]. N
Thank you very much!
0 ]6 f6 e$ q# h
. Y+ i' A& I3 k3 q4 Y. C7 Y==========================* g, ~, T8 h/ K# v: n+ ?& ~5 T9 ^
9 e' n! s; u+ H$ Q; ]0 sImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
4 N+ C* j2 f9 M5 k. \8 A& W2 `" B6 q# B
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill., X: w! z( d0 k' f' q% e: O& H: c$ C
4 L( R% Z- ]+ d: H$ G
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
. k1 o1 t7 K3 V. J
' }, W4 G" r. x) H( d"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ _$ @' Q% u2 p% L$ h# S. S, Z* q b
6 S3 [& W% A. [: I; J
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".7 @: a. r' @8 X
# ^- X1 H; K/ k' P5 c9 IRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 |( q8 X' v; w. c
; S9 P6 L* k: p
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|