 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
+ ?. {; N" U) Z& u7 c: G) S0 H, B! d" Z ~( b
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
4 J7 n3 [/ Y* ]6 r1 l( S6 S) j
9 ~5 s7 r, Y. V) U" W; e- dI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
! H4 R9 b) v/ E$ Y. s
: ~2 Z/ i6 q4 i5 l5 xI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:9 q- K1 `9 T# e; X
7 J Y& c; n% b0 b0 o' {# C5 v0 Y) g0 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
7 Z' ^# q& v. \5 J1 Q" F& C8 W5 @! p
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 S, h! R, k2 r3 ~- j
! K7 N: p2 i7 T2 lAnd the second one was:
: K3 k6 Y2 v8 d: u
/ A( E; K; P9 }8 \9 ^/ D"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
* r2 v0 S7 H8 T! z
~' T% ^, l# dI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
4 B2 F* @1 i1 T N- Z! e9 u! d, L$ Q: m7 G$ T( A
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
$ Y5 g/ }- A, l/ F' c8 O2 C
' B# v% P/ P4 i9 `I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. C/ ]) K' ^9 Z7 p2 x
0 X0 }4 h9 y4 k7 e' V
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! U2 \" G, m1 G2 n6 L) L
. C4 ?8 j+ K2 h |8 b/ b- R! YI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
$ Q* s8 h: ~' w7 B) k7 c7 v2 f( c- l2 h& ?; C+ r
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
- H/ N$ a/ t! e! B: g: k4 i/ |, h3 y- H2 T p# p6 y+ p
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
# {6 m! [, `& P7 w T0 ?
2 Z. ^8 G0 z: u+ jThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' L' ^/ j0 h2 y" n* u
! W$ T' {; T1 @4 S4 V: g" @+ Z- H: K
Thank you very much!
; g T# X3 h7 H2 n4 N4 S; T& ]) ?; h/ ]6 g0 V7 J8 C0 R& \! w0 N
==========================; T; c" [8 Y5 }1 m& [
- d2 x3 b6 j, z
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
/ x; {/ X j r4 l
' o [3 h0 n6 t% W1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# {0 b2 F5 J* N8 {4 R9 X5 i$ l. J9 O
2 S" x1 p0 M, z* h! ~; m5 x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 z" Z6 A: i3 f( p
! N+ R0 ^. C: d+ y0 @) P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion." A* e2 K; C6 m% E9 E% p$ b
$ Q. c2 Z* T8 r" B& ^" Q& NJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". j. x. o& h3 u% ~+ N% S
( a& d2 d5 y) G
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
' M+ o9 B. A- |9 | O
. B6 a7 k0 v! n& \0 V8 [+ t! i1 OThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|