 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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6 o( m! }3 ~/ _I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 [& ~+ ?$ n/ D' w"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 N \8 ]" C+ z
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ T% g; Y6 Q! {* x- u5 N"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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- D' o, \6 m' u! PI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?1 U5 O' V8 k: i1 ^
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."7 m8 N0 x2 k( j: ~: Y; p* C) J+ P
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 L! x9 p& o# g( K/ |+ LNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”2 x0 i [! ]( S7 {2 k3 W
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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% W7 }7 D# H1 Q3 W! k5 x6 N. vThank you very much!7 \& J: H) Y% S; d
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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- V P5 }( v/ m: a1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.4 B7 w( H3 E% j7 p- Z9 \) `
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.; o( G' v' m- r/ g
% a( }$ n2 d- u! a2 ^! xJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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* l/ W3 M5 l3 BRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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7 F' p" K$ V" O0 x% [The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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