 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ p3 v- J" i) c/ q4 I# A
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. _5 }4 ~, G6 @. }( s
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.7 n# r4 h0 G$ T [% c: f* }1 K7 v
: w# v( x0 t: r. z7 lI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 c8 i1 }* I. i$ E1 l
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And the second one was:4 B2 Q4 H: H( H" Z
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, S/ v, C. R/ U3 U3 P/ e"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 E' A. A, Q8 c8 B- ~0 M
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!- p8 `: M8 T! @& {2 F
1 A5 T5 Q/ y7 f/ _' A* }/ zI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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0 P3 E4 t" ^ ]9 @/ {+ G; OSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"* H; k" N7 J/ x. U
" ^ Q- M% I% S) N0 r; o9 wNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!& r |' r$ X9 B; o1 c# x5 Q7 H
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6 \& z) z+ U) s- ~2 DImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" F0 c" l+ g0 J" F8 F; u; [) z& g
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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1 ?4 N! D( J: X8 O3 ]% O"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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' B9 _& i+ c4 g+ r6 P+ \) |Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"., K6 y2 U# v. w2 O
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.7 c* R# G, `5 f& M5 ^5 K
- M' k2 p+ c5 p3 j7 L$ p! o% m% n* QThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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