黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

3 m% \. J# x; V1 yI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:

"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
4 h$ s/ Z! W7 C  M
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

/ G% s# i/ c8 i1 Y! MAnd the second one was:
0 F0 B5 z, ]/ N! P  A9 c
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
) X: N3 z1 ?" q  @$ l( d
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
( ^1 q% D) n' q  c* z
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!

/ |* u3 N+ i, e1 T% iI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
. J1 ]' J' S2 b% [# N3 P
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
$ {  Z( ?2 z' _! c( e7 @$ }
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

/ a) \& w/ ~7 A! @. l3 {# jThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.

7 p9 o6 x' c6 M' a; [0 _/ B; jThank you very much!
3 f9 Q; X  ^5 V) p
==========================

Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
8 o, o7 w- A# z
/ J1 @5 j0 k( a6 l( e! k) V2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
( u  n  e1 |" H. p0 ]
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
5 J! z0 ]. m4 ]5 X/ V. d+ }
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.

: x% \) ^  P1 e" b- a5 BThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
2 B: a5 x5 p. X! r5 l; d5 f& r0 u50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116


4 J( A* @2 g7 D# i: H7 Y0 c- {不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
5 Q& j1 I6 Q1 b' x1 l怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

' C# a3 {7 V4 V6 f' z, r6 v我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

  A! N4 e# f* J  y8 Z' v, x9 G0 F我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.