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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.! {6 g# O; {& x+ t$ t  W- S
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# E7 X3 Q/ z9 i5 n
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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$ z: O: H3 X2 }I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' E+ L7 W& i* a' w. G9 [And the second one was:
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2 I$ p0 O+ L) C4 x* O"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! i9 z+ ~; n6 E6 T( u

& A6 R6 f! |7 u! ~+ z"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?& R! E1 H* V* L' j* o2 E

) U) g8 ]1 k" X( g+ BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 M: Y. C6 \, _; d% v$ e" A, xI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."  D4 X6 K; s; u& v3 M  J

( e% T$ f; z* w. B$ sSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 ]8 g0 \1 z( i" |6 H

7 z* x* o0 r4 |! A% bNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”6 h. P) q8 z+ G! v- E
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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2 z$ _% r+ p3 z5 M3 HThank you very much!
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8 i! B1 Y1 `9 h5 B: L! pImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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: E3 i6 }' M1 p2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.$ ~' Y9 q) x4 E; s4 D+ Y. M- ^
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& V: `( y. S4 X1 l& \3 |

! K# h7 J7 @0 ~- g- mJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& B$ s2 k4 n/ M
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: + a4 A9 n6 u: @0 T3 y$ v
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。$ B+ q+ Z, {4 @6 U6 q# ?
怎么理解?
4 J5 H, i/ u7 a50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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# ^3 v6 O- U3 @+ S不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。: d& d- E9 z# }
怎么理解?
/ x! g8 l8 i) X+ o50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?4 G' W2 s; ]8 F; A1 f5 e4 i* a
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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