 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.( {' `+ d0 r0 g
; s# d. w0 C8 B5 }: M$ xI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
% n2 N Q7 A* h; Z( u
! b8 Y" Q. [# ]3 i( vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.5 G7 a% v5 y h7 S+ m+ |
1 F3 a1 e/ C7 RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# s4 X) }4 y M; E& Q4 z0 v! r
' Y' e: p! [0 D3 \$ v"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
, [6 b1 R# p$ p0 w# D9 U; _9 A" O
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
" [6 ?" E) k2 P8 U$ }( g1 S' v# N0 k: w
And the second one was:
& C( ^" p" e9 Y/ T
" [2 y- \' f! X3 A$ U"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
" B$ Q, h& D8 ~' j
6 G. u. T" z. x& ]9 I; MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
/ h/ Q, u4 i0 O& `+ L( I2 F
7 p! D9 [% _7 k8 c! ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ U z; y2 D& g% T7 D \$ q+ Q0 a
# g/ o, `, E" U# K! x& U' b0 VI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
" s2 q5 F' L; U5 z4 L* L- C6 _. B. l# r: c" P1 E8 d
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!( y* W6 d4 H8 r
% ~9 }& r; N3 Y1 wI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
. f F6 I' F) `9 K* ^ B! A! c
" O; j$ |+ ^" b, i: H- wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' ~$ X: p6 u P8 r. ?
2 q9 ^5 F. V- q y% I+ yNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”, O2 S) y; K0 a) D! Z- @9 \
, q3 d$ U9 o$ _6 N8 d3 e
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
: h! R7 m: P( d- `& w# s; K/ M
, y: f3 I0 V/ w1 ?Thank you very much!
& U+ c, N# V, K* {: H) g
* j+ V/ E, Q- I" V6 v==========================
5 l3 n7 Y8 U8 w( H2 V+ t
- y( `' _' p; A$ l2 E" L$ n* hImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
* f q" ^8 X, f. u4 H! i' A' N' Q4 V% k9 D+ q9 L/ @* k7 X1 ]; s
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
: D" Z" i4 f5 P0 v5 l8 s1 ~, m& u6 O' J& Y9 A& h
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
3 f$ U4 Q! M4 Z
) [+ ~( _4 ?9 P% {6 I: g ]"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.9 D' i$ V5 |. S2 {2 a5 O
6 W' \. ^( N8 Q7 V& i3 `) [* ~Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".5 z }+ r& }8 ]& L) a. f
- Y( l' P( s# K5 ?; VRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
2 [& d1 @ }5 b- g
& u5 O, Y& g5 {! |The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|