 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
V$ _3 Q# r0 C( |5 L% T8 O; P# ?/ t0 P/ l' U8 S
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 b2 s" h" h( s6 x
: ]5 k5 e" z, N0 f7 v
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& R+ v0 R% G- G; W
! J- m1 u' @0 \' B
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
* ?5 X, j% J% l$ u7 ?8 v- h
! R0 G" p" L& v"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"/ a1 R$ Z3 o0 g7 k+ I( p
) |* p% O8 \$ A* \
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
]) f% B. j+ [3 {5 m9 ^1 H, G, E: _! B! o" Y% G! O+ v. l0 {) I
And the second one was:1 {4 x2 X8 `! o+ c1 m/ s$ X
4 U3 D. Y. D9 ~7 s
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 W$ _% M* D; C& e$ P% Z' K1 P
+ A3 n2 T9 E% y# p' Q; I/ D* Q
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
& I7 @ L0 x. U
; _6 Y, E3 `! @% Y2 E7 M"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
) c; h6 o! G' c- i6 O C+ P- U0 f( v7 T9 @" r w2 @+ @: ^5 k2 E7 y
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
' B0 k$ Z, L5 H, E3 D6 I
5 k/ S6 ]+ E- B; OI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
/ p0 c' u- R+ ?, }$ L H
" g, ^7 `3 s I1 D- yI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
& z# t# B, t7 H6 ^" E# O J) t; c0 z& X2 F. i/ b/ J
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
& W7 ~- {. v4 G/ h* U& e1 E, @1 R9 Q0 C3 H5 |
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- v5 R$ u' {5 D5 z
: E+ ]: q( F- b" e8 S/ M
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 F9 ^* j5 {' T' I7 N0 u- ~
+ h; q: {: I2 A: {2 y! M) T( e* B
Thank you very much!
! H" g/ g4 Y- A2 ~) O3 g3 q5 V
7 F) j o: E% L' J- X1 P5 }==========================2 P- L) Q" B; V
; |$ p0 e, V5 \Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
/ d) ]& \" \: t1 F
U/ `5 A- I( G7 [1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
% M2 z; g; z; n: K% y2 @" Z/ U% W- J. n5 i4 T4 O$ T2 _% l8 f) a1 B
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' t% ]1 |# r ^/ s/ o; ^$ z6 d5 H1 t
6 v" k" b q X! _9 i: K$ j Y
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.2 @. U i5 k4 a8 E) z5 J" u
9 u5 {) j" F+ h9 u- w# {Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
- B8 F, l3 B7 ^) F5 B
- w& k1 q/ q, I: B& V3 \8 v" z1 \Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
' o8 U3 F. y: h% q+ s, a$ V) V$ u @0 H- W2 m: g% a
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|