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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 ~5 s7 r, Y. V) U" W; e- dI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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: ~2 Z/ i6 q4 i5 l5 xI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:9 q- K1 `9 T# e; X

7 J  Y& c; n% b0 b0 o' {# C5 v0 Y) g0 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 S, h! R, k2 r3 ~- j

! K7 N: p2 i7 T2 lAnd the second one was:
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/ A( E; K; P9 }8 \9 ^/ D"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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  ~' T% ^, l# dI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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' B# v% P/ P4 i9 `I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. C/ ]) K' ^9 Z7 p2 x
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!  U2 \" G, m1 G2 n6 L) L

. C4 ?8 j+ K2 h  |8 b/ b- R! YI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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2 Z. ^8 G0 z: u+ jThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' L' ^/ j0 h2 y" n* u
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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' o  [3 h0 n6 t% W1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# {0 b2 F5 J* N8 {4 R9 X5 i$ l. J9 O

2 S" x1 p0 M, z* h! ~; m5 x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 z" Z6 A: i3 f( p

! N+ R0 ^. C: d+ y0 @) P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion." A* e2 K; C6 m% E9 E% p$ b

$ Q. c2 Z* T8 r" B& ^" Q& NJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".  j. x. o& h3 u% ~+ N% S
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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. B6 a7 k0 v! n& \0 V8 [+ t! i1 OThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: * }- m% N. A/ D# `( T1 N# U
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。# [- E: j( H* I* p
怎么理解?. _8 \+ \2 C2 E
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。' K6 u' ^7 R! K3 s7 y7 i
怎么理解?7 _9 q  r1 p9 i5 O8 u
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
5 a  H- d2 b1 B2 j9 W5 Ecyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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0 Y  e$ K3 r! B6 W) M6 `我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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