 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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+ T9 v) I8 F xI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.- U" g; j$ N7 [0 ^, T1 @
) \% Y; b/ H: D5 vI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# |& i( D1 z/ u% s1 H+ y: C
) Z# M% U" n5 a) k( E' O"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* K2 a3 m0 P8 D. l# r1 @- _* zAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# s0 ?3 X5 k0 d! T
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. `; ^9 N/ s" F. B& E) J4 n ["What is Roe vs. Wade?"! {4 L- w4 M: M4 J$ p
1 i& T- T6 W- E) ZI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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, D$ k6 m6 {$ c- v9 V# n& K2 |I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ i7 ]6 o. y4 R A4 I, r
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”1 [" ~) W$ W0 L1 d" M8 _
2 E$ b9 u7 {) P+ lThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) i' h; ~& Z! i9 z8 p
; a1 C% }5 c AThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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- w# ~* M4 ^5 y" o0 e: Q L. O"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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+ E+ H. D& N: O$ |7 N8 Y% f4 EJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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2 ]+ x% }3 [2 j2 IRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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