黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

* U0 v+ L# z# ~9 j% CI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

. _6 E% B& l" ~6 B- s4 e8 @I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:

5 W# J+ R3 `) e' ~8 r: T3 T"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

  k& J4 r( P& t7 RAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

+ p1 ^  m. v% P$ S2 ]/ [+ }  x0 cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

2 ^7 |2 j$ d) K9 o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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8 ]/ C+ c. u/ c9 }9 [. N) bI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?

! d7 Y, P1 _! mI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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+ M5 L2 A  s7 B3 q1 H, XI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

/ k* |) \2 g) PNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.

* i$ j6 h, U  l( r: r. o) ]Thank you very much!

==========================

$ B4 ~+ I  N  J# yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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" `7 Y; Q, w; Q( a! @6 c2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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" T# D5 E; `& @; B, x( P) J: F, _7 `* K, V, ?Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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/ H1 n7 V9 a7 n7 v- X: `The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
9 m% z2 s5 A* _/ f9 ja young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
- f4 ~9 Z  c! g7 L" l50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
1 [% W) p5 c) x

0 Y/ c2 `! A, R+ _/ x不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
" W; S  B& d, j4 i3 X  J+ M怎么理解？
& Z# S, Y8 Q4 m  _& e' a$ Q50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
+ h" I" F+ n' k5 F* ]/ v% h
我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.