 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 v) W/ ?; X) o6 t5 H: D0 E
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.( G: w W! ?# D5 n q: r
, v% g& C+ I5 o9 cI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.- {7 i. D6 G! a, q' G
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:9 j' Q7 l' D: A+ M O& N5 K
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" \% K; n6 w) `+ X$ M! J6 c
* k( S( |+ ~1 }# @( b% lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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3 n6 ~7 b" A% J2 m; Z+ k1 a \I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."$ p" ` [. d, R4 d2 z
# h# ]) c9 A0 h; g! k& _So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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" m0 u. D" D0 F: |% ^8 u4 x6 ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”7 y$ j3 b0 ]% Q8 P9 d
. v; W+ K" N' H; C- ]This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 |' a& b1 ?7 i0 {5 O3 E) B
( F3 V H, P0 t! a7 R, H- `! Q. L4 h0 DThank you very much!
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& W$ G2 _- j6 J5 |3 Z$ Y9 N kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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. `0 H' e( N6 z2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. R2 u( ^* O9 v, X
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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+ ^) [8 Y x( t5 |+ DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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