 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ p% k& e$ F: R5 _& j3 }- [; s2 n
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* U% y) s1 i' x+ m
' d3 W3 v1 K0 P, m/ a z YI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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9 {( P {+ V- Y, s% qI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" \* U* w8 c! F) i+ ^+ }% c8 m4 F
( N! k5 D- G- g2 D; v! y- h, e; OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' K$ r8 o& b- A) |1 R) ~' n
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?! f1 U* C* N7 V* |, A+ D& @9 U0 v
) t' X# S6 Z% ]& l6 O( @I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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) y3 F0 B! M+ H/ z' Y, h, _Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”8 W, [6 ^9 x1 `3 ^* R9 p
1 S0 w" V+ m/ xThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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/ D5 s s. J- @; a% d- v9 h6 ^Thank you very much!
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0 ?( l' Q4 m1 D' x+ |' jImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) b8 S/ V/ `; ~' b5 E H
- ?" K$ [) |( @# m! ~3 i1 R2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., K- x- O8 Y1 t8 a
1 C( d. i/ E# T$ S) C; n"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( n/ S; [( u( Q! {, x2 Z
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* ~5 ~% n) T% h& d
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
