 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& D% x" f' e/ a& Q
9 \" \/ ]+ z# H1 F* UI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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0 o |. @0 q4 l3 i0 x/ Z+ ^: N mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.' h) c5 ]3 f# C3 F
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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* C0 C& M& M' W4 g0 SI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: g. `2 x J) @- g; d: k! |
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And the second one was:
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' `& ?1 s6 Y6 l9 @: o& o: R"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 X9 t7 O; _- w: m& n
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( H8 C; o. }6 R4 Q; ~
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ n: _: y# ?7 Z# L- ?6 i- U
+ O% a4 D# C" r2 [' lI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 }4 P2 }$ u! t( l! [6 P
7 t5 F* f( d7 n! a$ m# R, w: |I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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) D* ~4 Z* h5 x7 O1 v0 L. b5 dSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 ^) |5 W) H. K: y6 w
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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. c4 w1 j7 C$ b6 aThank you very much!) ^( W+ \) t6 ]
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference: s' x; Z& }1 ?) L: P
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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- ?: e* p! Z$ Q; @: Q"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ Z1 O" S( ~8 @* T& ]4 O9 X! R
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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( |6 H3 |7 z5 z: p& p! G0 iRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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