 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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* ~2 c0 t- M5 n5 p hI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.: c1 H8 t7 [6 X; k
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"$ o( A& S% u6 @7 {4 n, k
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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% p1 u/ P1 H0 OAnd the second one was:7 ]/ z! Q) J0 O# o4 Y+ r
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"3 n* w' j9 N+ Q- M
5 U& D7 \5 q' }+ wI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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+ D' U! T4 A) s, Y! o; q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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, y, V; O7 @- W6 |) n6 Q2 k, t; @I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 v" o( C: i9 A/ h4 `& o
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 u8 i- `8 Y( A) ?$ D
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 _( j; ?' L: S, ~& h# J& k
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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6 k$ m( ^$ b5 G5 G3 aThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 s1 s& H% b2 N+ k, _
* z1 x( R" A3 ?* \: [+ w Y. E( \Thank you very much!
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8 j& }5 @8 B6 k* g8 C2 J$ k- NImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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/ O/ Y& y$ X8 H' Z j1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.; o3 I6 {. E) {( N
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 k& l9 x: S. ]" J' N; c
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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1 {# l5 s( T) i+ j+ U7 I6 \3 VRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US., E4 s% k/ T* i; P0 j- }( V! q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
