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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 v) W/ ?; X) o6 t5 H: D0 E
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.( G: w  W! ?# D5 n  q: r

, v% g& C+ I5 o9 cI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.- {7 i. D6 G! a, q' G
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:9 j' Q7 l' D: A+ M  O& N5 K
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" \% K; n6 w) `+ X$ M! J6 c

* k( S( |+ ~1 }# @( b% lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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3 n6 ~7 b" A% J2 m; Z+ k1 a  \I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."$ p" `  [. d, R4 d2 z

# h# ]) c9 A0 h; g! k& _So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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" m0 u. D" D0 F: |% ^8 u4 x6 ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”7 y$ j3 b0 ]% Q8 P9 d

. v; W+ K" N' H; C- ]This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 |' a& b1 ?7 i0 {5 O3 E) B

( F3 V  H, P0 t! a7 R, H- `! Q. L4 h0 DThank you very much!
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& W$ G2 _- j6 J5 |3 Z$ Y9 N  kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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. `0 H' e( N6 z2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.  R2 u( ^* O9 v, X
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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+ ^) [8 Y  x( t5 |+ DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:   P8 V$ m) F. f& ^
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。3 A. K+ ~( q. y4 E
怎么理解?
* L: s7 D) r! N. u0 k$ I: p* p50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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2 T: J" |  K" |! I4 ~不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
6 O+ e2 B& ?% g) t3 I5 {怎么理解?
7 S( d9 s2 F) G3 ~; C, u. K50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
5 r$ z6 Z7 S7 S: m: ucyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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+ X/ M9 d& H1 \9 z0 W2 H我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳 0 `. k" q8 D6 o- V$ j% d+ r9 q

6 ?% a- e3 j$ ~4 e/ `" G+ T我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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