 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 |+ j$ A# O2 |) n3 W) ~- Q
; k) a, y9 a X- W$ S1 J; A0 O"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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. j9 S: Y" R, K- ^" N! \% mI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 G3 g8 W9 T3 Z
3 H( y p& O8 Y6 s9 L; |* J7 ?2 ^And the second one was:4 a j" ^' ]' d9 m' V% `
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ F V7 |! E+ g7 j/ b$ v
4 w7 S; L5 V8 v z$ @1 S% d; A"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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$ V7 j5 Z' K; }) r- KI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 L# h |% f, v3 q0 K* `7 ]I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; f: @* O* s& b1 w, w2 ?: z
8 f6 g I* A$ I0 U- E, j8 K1 VSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”2 y1 K* b b" L7 t1 E4 k/ o8 |
( H' Q, u2 r0 V. c0 ^3 |$ K. E4 hThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.5 H: N9 N6 N1 r4 ^0 o
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Thank you very much!8 Q" a5 c: s$ W. F/ g
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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6 ~4 N( a1 Q$ ^& q' C! z4 l" O1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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; W0 t% @) p6 [4 J: E: s) G: S: yRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
