 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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% `1 q9 {" z* N% D( Y, cI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"1 R3 m# ^9 g' N) K! r
7 x6 ~, J L) ?! |) HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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" {/ P$ m% d/ tAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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" z: X% {! g0 b, X) V/ n"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" P, Z; l5 X1 K5 T# G8 [5 T4 ^1 V
5 \, C, T" G& B fI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?7 Z2 d, ^8 E1 h. W
/ |% N$ I! [! C% d% Y3 n4 h3 r9 e, _I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!+ v% |/ L3 v- D; M$ x* d8 q6 x
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* I. j t2 v& v7 \$ t6 o8 m
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 Y+ B; R. S+ ~, g5 Z7 ?) e
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. i6 J& `# z4 j- [% c2 K
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 S8 ^) T/ ]( w5 s
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Thank you very much!: `. \5 s! O: g9 m. E# h; V" q
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4 }, G/ i) k9 H+ gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference: v- N6 `5 W& s$ A; q2 U( h# k; d
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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* l+ K+ w: H; t: |, x* j. \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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# \6 J6 h& z, f* ARoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
