 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* d4 f) M! T7 R( F2 @2 R
0 p+ d+ v/ m" U2 |9 CI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.9 b( ?2 K' |0 R# q4 x& [
j9 ` I( p+ U6 XI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:/ n. X+ B2 Q* d! R$ T% j
! W0 E, s" r7 w# J"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"4 B/ x7 J% G- F; l" d* X/ h
+ q% v* w2 K5 X/ }! p+ M% ?8 QI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"' K7 \3 Q2 T0 B2 F
# K+ G6 x0 B% j. MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 x$ ]% U; _; X! E
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 Q( y( ~; l/ e0 s
) n5 Q: I5 _2 Y8 H" FI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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# I/ m: B! f3 `. J" m9 eI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! B7 c" f- X6 r1 [( N
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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- \* @' V/ x9 OSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"( i3 U. J3 k, x e; ~
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!; x! W& K1 M! z1 |1 q: O$ j
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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# B' I5 m- F5 D" j# V" K1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill./ S, h" Y% r7 P# J% A
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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( \% P( I! z" d"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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1 i4 b: |9 A8 Z) W" EJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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