黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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$ J, m4 P& l; F* z1 X* L  vI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

5 Q% J' p8 C# i! ]I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:

2 P. }# y3 @8 p4 k' ?! _"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"

' J2 f" L1 M2 v: l5 p0 A) T7 rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

And the second one was:

" D% K' s2 i" O& r"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

- j3 ]9 `, L% |2 @9 N; k2 |"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

7 ]) x# ^+ y& A1 T  @2 _# A9 aI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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1 \% F" G8 T% e9 vI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

  o% s0 c$ T/ I& X) E* x/ X9 VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.

3 R  |. ]* g& |2 `: a! k) kThank you very much!
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7 \6 s) B5 P: T, H; o+ U7 ~==========================
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

; r8 r1 I# j) d: d9 C6 T2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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4 Y  Q1 J8 \1 B. O& V" q( qJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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/ M) G9 V9 H" u4 YRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
- Z1 ^2 }. C3 ]9 l0 ^# z1 P* A; v怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116

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不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
4 V1 q8 L+ E/ q% Z50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
- T- A; c) g# Z6 q2 T# X$ g+ lcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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. k6 d$ F4 W* ~" k  q# G9 v  A+ L我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.