 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.# b" E9 e' s! Z& g
9 k& G* `! ?% M' O+ VI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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/ T: _# U0 w8 \1 J% Y+ h1 @# FI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 I% |7 B+ y% Q7 o( x+ E
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: R! @' q2 Z5 T( j: @5 U# gAnd the second one was:; P+ R+ k3 {+ G" r
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 v3 E! e; X& D) Y: J' U/ b
/ s: H2 Y3 i @) b3 ^4 H) J |"What is Roe vs. Wade?", x5 q7 P* X' \" c7 y; F7 Z* e" r
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?# {+ D# W/ ]* _& Y1 k* o
' ~ t3 n4 i8 W( e- RI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" b e" ~+ O& C, g$ n
+ }6 P2 M0 |5 X( |3 E& @$ ~I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", ^! Y; c# s4 j- w: ~1 l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?". e; A" D f: f7 ]3 ~& t6 s9 s, D
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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- r4 {7 H7 k& j! v) ?) XThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:2 D- e% W% e% E8 }5 u' c; Z
& z/ H/ K2 M3 T, V/ |1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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/ x' y Q& e4 o2 R7 D9 }"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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& f' B" k7 T8 p ]4 Q+ MJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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$ d8 J' i6 I2 \- r* xRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( e8 h. R. i! o5 U* I& Q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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