 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 z5 V. E3 U# h, d
: s% \3 x* V5 c1 T3 J4 x! vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) h/ h. h/ B( @/ z
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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2 H$ s3 V( d/ h! d"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"5 a# {: l; a2 T+ B& U& o
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* G/ c* x- F6 I j1 Q5 V& IAnd the second one was:! F! D, j( N% m" W) }4 B# h
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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- w% } y# q5 c& J$ j/ C. c% aI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% \! h) ^4 T5 ]. a2 j
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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& ^4 f- \4 t- dI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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6 h& H; y: x9 C% ]1 EI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", \$ N# ] r$ L& j2 J+ M
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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, Y; I/ y( f4 A; {* c! A4 iNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- H# [/ K4 C$ T9 _
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore. g. w- ^5 ?) C; j7 t' ?9 m
1 P8 d$ P1 h( X- z' p! bThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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) ]; M2 p4 J9 t- v$ `9 p6 z V"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 r1 O+ O P5 g# y- R r, b
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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0 u/ s3 N( P) C8 Y1 {6 s' lRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.& A6 S) u$ c/ _9 t; L( O
& ^( K# T* G+ u/ U3 f3 w6 DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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