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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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) ?8 p/ r" X' ]5 o5 ]- H) v( yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.8 W- E7 ?4 f4 _+ ^+ Q& C

! {/ N  n. S* a& C2 hI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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( O5 b& Z# _3 P$ ?) M/ ]/ i! x"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 @5 \- c8 J, |4 @5 E: {
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# ~' \! A( o' ?4 G3 K7 Y5 C
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And the second one was:3 i$ r. ~9 j6 r2 B

/ Z; W' b( f' L& {$ x( y; o"What's the 2nd Amendment?"7 x* P6 h, E- p) U% A8 X# e

9 K0 Y; n$ J/ x" qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& l8 p: g9 P2 |' g8 y, K) U- C' b"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?4 e" x+ M+ D5 l) F" @* r

* Q& N5 p9 w! k- @! Z( xI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!# k1 v9 R; E  J  s
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"9 @2 t) y0 Z; y- g
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”! e3 N. a5 @2 K  e+ t4 D
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) L& M2 a* w6 f- J$ ?

: H' W  P. ?. h& |7 A. O2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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9 ]3 g* Y% ^2 a0 c4 D: T  j0 G, X8 ^6 Z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 W! q- J( p$ f3 R
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".7 f2 Y/ p& ~3 ]2 I

% B. h9 c" X0 dRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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) L' J" i1 I$ Q% ^0 HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: % q5 X, v9 b9 \  f0 C
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
& J( r* ?; x. D7 k9 s) a* p4 a: Q- g0 X怎么理解?
% s- p/ O: J% G7 Y5 Z50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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1 D$ d2 ]* Q8 G6 {  K  p4 y, @不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
: E2 _% Z0 j7 Z$ Q  z& C怎么理解?
2 M9 \% J* V' U+ D50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
2 o1 ~9 ]" b' o$ Qcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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7 W" N, O3 |7 t! H, ]我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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