 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.% X- U. p0 q6 n. J$ G$ d
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.8 J0 O* T# k/ D" a3 a
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." o/ n- O3 d4 i0 m$ X/ p
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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w3 O: |- I4 M# u9 v x"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- N% L9 E( f) R/ ~# b# t$ H
5 R9 [& d0 `$ i9 f2 w7 _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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0 e( {/ V9 _4 B, U# WAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! O: N5 n% @* }! g! }"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- r( x( ^9 w' O0 ~* y
) o& ^1 N0 F& Z) AI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 T; `1 \" R7 O6 v/ ~; }
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* c* f1 [8 l9 _. |2 O5 U
t' B8 m0 |2 W+ K0 V Y/ iSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' Y/ Y9 |: m2 \
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Thank you very much!
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( L3 V6 r& z. [ ^1 d; J0 h9 sImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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$ `8 X! L, x9 Z( M+ G1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 S5 O/ v, a% m9 ^* N
: ^3 R: c) {, Q) _+ j/ @"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 P6 m2 B* ?& |# ~) W5 |7 N
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.' S* Q8 f" O( m# C# }
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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