 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 ^- _4 g L. @- d j
3 h! U6 l4 U: y/ L0 J0 F: f: hI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.' }2 x; `8 J: H8 t
/ s! ~2 {/ s! u; s; vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
: ~( X9 `' D( n! A$ t' Q8 v1 Z- m9 P" t8 Q ?& \2 Y4 P
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# ^' _; q. j: R: p( e Y
) r6 E* l5 H W( }7 b9 @ E) f2 B& O6 q
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"% ], s/ U$ j9 @9 E4 T- ?8 p& H
" J0 z9 c2 g" w9 V' j/ j0 bI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
; t+ @; {% i( U( A: H3 ~
^, J. w" U t: PAnd the second one was:
% U: X# d' C, o: C$ l
+ O( @' D5 k$ w9 Z% Y' Z: j. T9 J"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
+ g8 I# C3 }5 t. e8 B- J7 J
1 [9 ^+ d6 _* XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
' e C' y' d$ `3 ^! M/ n& D/ |3 G% j) U3 x% t( ]) e% m6 P
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' K ~& S9 R3 f
! e2 x, t+ h' G# yI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
5 n: Y: x8 c8 |8 ^! B& ~- o: {( j
/ D8 _5 \$ N9 |/ g) t nI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
" \% o1 y& G/ H# [% h% X9 L
" i+ R( w1 M) o& k$ T1 ]( g4 _6 I9 z+ jI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."1 p/ n% h7 Y$ p) }( K2 F# E
( b* r+ n( v" {/ C; F+ ]So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
4 \* f2 L- e+ E6 U+ i3 a9 g# @2 A4 J0 ?8 q
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”( ~' b: s% g8 G* L) e5 B
9 } j- b% M! y+ R2 c7 W! AThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) B$ E9 ]2 f& X# |3 {
+ e, m1 a2 W7 X% U1 B3 b
Thank you very much!- r; a# x" y. `
$ e5 q) G! q# w2 C4 E3 M==========================
$ v+ n# o# a& y* `8 K. A' A/ T
. a0 D/ j/ O+ t$ aImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
; ~+ D" A6 s$ ?% L: b! P* G. N
+ T/ b) H& }9 |. r% D3 _# Q& R1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
4 {3 b. C$ ]" }7 }; O1 c7 [ U" G" ~& E& Y9 j- u
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms./ _; ]0 \: b/ j2 f+ f2 T1 |( W
" i. \0 ?8 y5 Y2 @7 \
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
6 G. e' {* w4 O
$ k0 f4 i. [' W# K1 p" K& IJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: [8 i1 p' r4 V. d
, k5 K3 B9 V- `; d" t
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( C3 ^ p- ~5 e- B: a# R
% [- I* G+ W* \/ }2 v, OThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
