 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you." s3 a" T. a3 ? H) J2 D
T. `5 l% B3 V3 ?' h2 CI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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( ]! K# @( @) M8 {/ ^# vI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"1 A* s- e7 a: [# _( c+ l9 w
5 M" U! Q& C% j0 z! OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"" f' b5 Z, |! q# A1 s
7 m# p1 ?( s1 F5 B' cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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3 }8 e ^6 u2 p* l( MI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?7 J+ ?5 U/ `' ]
z: J9 v9 P$ WI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!: P+ F; |+ B; S
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ E# K) [4 D6 s. }7 Y V$ K; {) @
6 M# U5 J8 I2 `5 ~So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", d0 x# `. G" C( z6 X
& r" r( m9 A' j: l- ^/ O9 RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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|8 f. a0 ` ~) J9 j9 xThank you very much!# v2 l* E# c1 y/ r# X
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:3 |* r( o2 g h+ Y, H2 p
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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1 d- E, q# v) v4 w2 [. Q9 l& P2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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4 |* B3 m; H0 e"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 K0 |: F/ B4 B9 B+ G# j; m
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ B. _- X3 S k+ d2 l! W X
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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