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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ e* k2 N! a# ^9 A. O

4 l# z7 y* {: sI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 F+ @& V6 m. @5 [4 ?& @

1 y2 E% q/ v% X0 e4 RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ c$ T: Y% ]* }) b9 u8 \: f
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And the second one was:
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4 @/ G7 B2 T0 |9 Q5 O9 X"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 k& P1 X) R: r/ a; _

1 Q3 Q: W- ]2 W7 m" `- x3 u! u1 rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; E/ n) M7 c( I8 _. U  F& U+ ]
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' Z; ?* [8 y/ U: n0 u9 o- Y) B

7 `' A% h3 |5 XI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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( T/ ~0 K: w; M# q! G4 h/ XI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."8 F; O$ B# M' B  C& q& z

% z3 E2 @  |* zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! a+ e: |. Z  E( e% a# N) k
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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: q! P: J5 U; ~1 x$ N8 QThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 A, O& X0 L& E
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Thank you very much!
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8 C# ]3 ?# d1 u: ?8 u2 V& RImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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) {, j/ t3 O5 L$ @* M1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. u+ s' A" f8 A, G2 c& ^& D
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: O/ `4 n4 |' L" h5 x& e! W+ i* |
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( x5 [  P" k% |" T) M3 q2 @5 i$ J. H
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 ]) h) Q& p  p" {, J2 w8 _6 n+ Z
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
5 H$ R" M$ l; t" j' l8 va young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
' R, q7 s5 D. p3 B( e怎么理解?  J" h! N) B- Y3 N2 {  Q, i
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 ) U+ p8 s/ C6 I: f2 V: O7 ^( W

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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。! S+ G+ ?1 V+ T3 ?& [
怎么理解?
1 H' H+ z+ ?2 |5 K# Y/ V- f  Z50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?9 C: \, U% v; R% Q
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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# H. k0 r& }# q3 \( z' V6 c, w我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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