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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.# b" E9 e' s! Z& g

9 k& G* `! ?% M' O+ VI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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/ T: _# U0 w8 \1 J% Y+ h1 @# FI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 I% |7 B+ y% Q7 o( x+ E
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: R! @' q2 Z5 T( j: @5 U# gAnd the second one was:; P+ R+ k3 {+ G" r
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 v3 E! e; X& D) Y: J' U/ b

/ s: H2 Y3 i  @) b3 ^4 H) J  |"What is Roe vs. Wade?", x5 q7 P* X' \" c7 y; F7 Z* e" r
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?# {+ D# W/ ]* _& Y1 k* o

' ~  t3 n4 i8 W( e- RI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" b  e" ~+ O& C, g$ n

+ }6 P2 M0 |5 X( |3 E& @$ ~I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", ^! Y; c# s4 j- w: ~1 l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?". e; A" D  f: f7 ]3 ~& t6 s9 s, D
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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- r4 {7 H7 k& j! v) ?) XThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:2 D- e% W% e% E8 }5 u' c; Z

& z/ H/ K2 M3 T, V/ |1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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/ x' y  Q& e4 o2 R7 D9 }"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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& f' B" k7 T8 p  ]4 Q+ MJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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$ d8 J' i6 I2 \- r* xRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( e8 h. R. i! o5 U* I& Q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: ( H. B5 O- B5 E$ z) [: {
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
3 g0 @2 d$ w* M9 e$ D8 L1 P怎么理解?
6 j/ T; K' `- a% x( R50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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8 I, j6 }' r" [) V6 h不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
4 L7 y% w" K% W6 y  R. i0 x怎么理解?
" ?; \1 C$ R, @1 L( ]& H50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?8 V0 N# C: E& Q* Z. S. W$ }: z0 r
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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0 y3 o( O6 \( W. x我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳 ( Y) C# o5 h4 H4 q3 F% O, g
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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