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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 C0 G# K+ S; u7 a' h0 ^9 J9 Z" K3 _' \
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 X3 ]  j6 l0 l! `4 l# j( z

, q) W0 v$ f; SI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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9 J9 h' I! o) q: rI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, s8 c+ ?$ W, A2 x  I% C
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And the second one was:) v" `3 S/ y# L0 F. b* L

. t) M2 {" z6 _"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; [5 O# D2 g" b  L. D. Q. h& p9 Z

) _. G+ ?( m. ?! f( BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& Q' {8 |* P* S7 e

+ E% u" a2 f; F! t8 p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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! ]# o7 Z4 K" O( ]$ K# NI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- O8 X1 h$ f1 ?5 D! o

7 S5 x8 r! j* ASo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; v0 f. E; E, `- s# }( K' \) eNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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& l0 \: t" L8 m3 ^3 HThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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$ N: T" l" N2 Z; @. n# zImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. D* U1 g/ n7 d# u' `5 ~

, r" C& \5 K6 @9 }  i  k( R. Z3 U; }1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.: b, p, X1 k! Z* l

  M0 e+ R: w9 N2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms./ D* k/ t; h: Q$ Y* l/ j( u- m% P
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.% }+ r9 X+ u2 C. X) Q5 i
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 [1 A( S" B* m% ^

" x/ [/ `  ^& v( ^& vRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 8 s2 z6 ^1 Y* \
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。8 ?. y" z; d  U" H& Q, J; l, N
怎么理解?
' k" y; `  \- o7 M9 T. B50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
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1 F" }' t  h) `: x50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?* |4 q$ ~0 s# H, y( C9 v( o: Q
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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. V* Y8 o% g8 S' \2 W1 h/ A+ m我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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" n- M) Y9 }, \我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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