 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& ^2 U2 b I, P, D1 P$ ]" w
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.+ [ |2 W/ \. I8 c" U- C
: }& h1 `' D- x# ?7 ]" U' RI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:. i: B0 p. F3 U8 j4 a' `
! c; d N# d& l$ e3 B# W3 C9 u$ i. z"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was: Z; p* T: f4 N7 ^9 |
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?". j d, t: D; t- t9 S+ v
8 p0 o& G! Z1 O, q; h* L; @I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( S0 t* i7 y6 \! S/ j( S% K2 w3 I
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"# Q# K/ V% I. q% Z3 e' D6 Z
+ g0 M J# @% o' KI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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2 V; y* F# [/ K% E8 e/ X9 ]4 @+ TThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 R5 g8 r! C8 n7 \, z) _- `
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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2 N! F/ B8 S0 P: l5 O2 g"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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; m2 o7 h+ W T0 f7 UJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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$ c0 Y+ G5 d( G# M4 l QRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ {6 ], P9 x' `7 F. J, |
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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