 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 |6 |0 ?# ~+ ?1 |# t$ D* y
4 F$ e9 \4 Q: Z8 `0 m, nI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 n8 i' w* _: }8 j0 V9 ]
" U; W6 @3 v: c7 [/ q. NI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 D3 t% \, s- C6 U0 f" z$ ?* F/ H3 M
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 ]+ W0 @/ h/ n% D. J; X" B
8 J2 H4 K a% g" j" q"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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7 E3 D! T% M @- I" n- ^" p% v"What's the 2nd Amendment?" }+ M* p! e3 w+ `
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ y* q) ]. f9 D5 j"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- P6 l. E; F" S I) ?7 @
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?/ y: @. @7 `% M3 `9 y* J
! O8 M* h$ K& J' n$ C5 [I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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& j" m0 ?# u5 P- i6 @# f: qI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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* H2 m/ Z4 S% x7 KSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”% {3 c+ b' z6 H: W
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., _! Q$ O: k' x, b1 o
% w; D* I! T- w( V% g0 L4 W4 DThank you very much!0 u! O0 V' n$ H5 b/ R. |$ Q' F! W
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. E; J" n6 u9 p" a* a# z8 i$ FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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$ _& A. ^# J2 ^& u1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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& m. N, V/ W( d" P& f% r"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 D2 {( {" Q9 M
^; } x# a6 V3 X& WJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& I$ |5 ^7 Q0 ]9 N4 A% ~
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.0 U+ {6 a/ i8 p9 d7 j& l4 |! v
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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