 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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4 Q' E) Q% M" S& _- Q% f" kI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.% K9 f0 N% Y/ W& U {
Q1 ^# T& u5 h; _/ C- }I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" x# l; m7 {5 I/ u. o+ I
8 t4 n. T2 K% O5 w8 a4 N7 K"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 P; P3 \2 R8 ]4 q
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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; m- {# \ D' K. [I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- ~( Y" Y2 r) ]
* g& b# r# z$ k" q. M- I"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% l: B7 w: Z) ]+ t0 m7 v
{$ t! O, M7 z, B; F$ H( a% p; B" gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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# g G+ ~0 x% K0 _ cI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- c3 u" x& q. ?, Z
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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( D6 {5 j* h* [' E" |) t fNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”& l( a! x5 _- c
9 u1 w# O5 c7 O q6 ~( Q- [This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! Q B: q$ Y; {! i8 v5 S4 z
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2 D8 Z9 Y. `7 @3 ]2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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/ s$ y s# q9 [% w' e9 ~"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".7 O2 m2 `9 j* u7 j
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( t3 g2 _) I8 P: ~: ?" z
2 U* M% @4 `% z& t- V1 rThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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