 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* [3 ~9 a( w1 C2 t# g/ |" x
, g- B4 D g5 D* v( @0 Z+ lI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.( w" Y$ p# F5 P. L( m
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% K2 |/ t' a" {: L& \% ^! x1 n( D
$ l: e+ X( w+ z5 V! W6 x. y+ i5 [$ PI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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5 h0 |& Q/ g/ j- I; h"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": U# \; o. j1 f% M& j: z0 S, Z
9 r& ?7 T/ h6 \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 m, q2 l1 D: e: ~, S- ^8 n2 ~I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 ^' z# j7 e# }7 K
2 R( @! V" t- O3 ~( T"What is Roe vs. Wade?". a/ n1 B! u! ~3 g9 Q4 x
5 u% Z$ N4 c8 uI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?: }; h5 L6 i6 r5 J
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". p: B- X# j1 ^2 _7 ~
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", _" G( O8 Y3 u+ }! t
7 C! n- ~( ]) i$ B" VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!) s7 z; H, K" Z# A2 L q/ E1 c, n
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% b$ r% m; }- Z QImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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4 E3 x# A8 Z$ H8 Y) _9 i2 b" Y8 G1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 \% B) g2 ?# g: X2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 @; T2 B; y1 u! q
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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& W2 Z4 H; I! B* b7 L; t6 v$ W/ eJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% g* N+ T' n: a. S- ORoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.6 @; A5 o9 ~# ~
1 X0 {8 `" { H& p8 J- P5 s8 ?The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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