 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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% h! q/ L [" \I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ ?9 g+ q% Q3 J
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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: M& N' m& H# V7 z3 wI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?") Q+ j4 a5 v; `% i# c
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ c& _, {, T- c6 q! Y0 R8 ?8 I
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And the second one was:/ K; I6 V: p( j0 [+ X
1 X; \7 Z* Z" r& q"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 r* d0 N9 {* ^4 p4 oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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% w0 Y H E7 a% aI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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* W( G( p: F. c. f5 sI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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. p1 ^0 c, F+ T6 F, M" h8 BSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", U1 f. X/ s! \
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. Z" N' C- J5 p* T7 t
6 o" Q6 I# Q8 j3 a, v1 |: pThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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: N/ r9 a7 I; ~+ s, g/ r \( xThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:( h9 ^1 g9 K3 r
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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- j; q( P, ?) e" f# P4 x6 Y* |2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( G5 I6 r/ F4 Q! l6 v/ M
+ t1 ^3 e& {+ g, I0 G3 m" \5 SRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.# a+ ^1 x% p! X: ] f" ^3 h1 B
) R s5 a7 R! J: k/ m, gThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
