 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.! W o- i e+ ~( t6 a
c4 i) h9 @3 U7 d G3 | c+ vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. @6 K- P& D/ I I7 m
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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0 F. }) F8 S1 E; s"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"; m4 i. Z7 V8 j6 O
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 S M" Q/ P) z: |+ [3 x0 E0 k5 Q. S
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And the second one was:( x* w/ ~, Z) G% z/ ~: H
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 b2 E ]5 x* i" f. @1 s% j
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; A: H- G4 _% W4 _% q- S
, _6 N7 Y& O& j0 _; O1 uI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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6 |8 W9 g' e9 a: BI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."# t. z, E w7 [: q; ?) X, A
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! V/ C* y r Z
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”% u! T+ P! d4 T
. y! [, W9 Q! k8 {/ g$ a5 LThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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6 a' k6 w8 r) o6 ^* A7 j( [9 U2 w0 aThank you very much!8 R4 _ z* B2 N( i, m3 k( F
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:# F3 p8 `. t0 l# x, X! i# e
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.9 @: Z/ V, U5 t1 L
' B( [" Q2 {% n0 n2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.$ w8 Y' G! m, l; g) O' [; O; i
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 i! W- q$ a; N# T
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 N1 P4 d1 {* t, P/ ^$ x) j" ~6 c/ q
5 k: q: v% ], O: ?The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
