 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.$ Q* n/ O3 b! L" u, Z3 ^
/ G* X; G; l6 J4 nI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& T* m; s/ k+ v: i8 P
) B4 o" g3 y( q( M6 q' j' @4 eI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:6 O% S! P3 @9 J6 t, F' u1 l1 Z$ s. P' t; H
6 }% k2 P$ T' n) K5 p1 o7 O"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 }" Y/ n6 `' a
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 X4 n% O, [( d+ |" O9 Y: Q
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And the second one was:
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3 y8 B: y. I9 H( A3 x; {6 s"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 X! C- Y& Q& Y) m" P! V c7 K
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; X! j' }. E2 c3 S# P! }- _$ h( L* e# B
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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% h' ]8 s( S: N- y1 tI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!3 o6 x% N) A( I, `& h
& O& E) J- X2 x$ Y2 rI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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1 S# q6 H( H# x7 x2 zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. v9 t* B& c" H3 D( _0 p
4 y3 U, E! W3 \7 yThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!+ u$ t; x0 s* d4 k5 {
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) f& m5 J: I7 Y1 i4 }4 [6 r" kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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' T) M: g, X8 D T6 Y( s; C% k9 Q- e1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ h# G3 A& r u0 ~# F
! t$ W) v g7 r1 Z; @$ v* p2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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8 k, ]- x" A! k- t3 Q; f"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.$ Q; h1 Y* x* Y% Z l# q3 u5 V
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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" |+ e# H( ]1 Y+ ]# V4 v; bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.& W: Y/ Q+ @( k6 Q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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