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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.0 p$ a/ o+ s7 O6 ^

4 y# }  P5 V0 `  m$ |I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.; s# G3 j3 x" d- J
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 Y9 t3 S. X3 ]0 u6 G

4 w6 h6 M) M- `& m" t"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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, {% E1 J# g7 |0 |I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?") E( N: w/ r9 Q+ z; m6 y! C( [
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% w8 R) ]9 t0 e2 Z% ~. j* B

+ h8 {- |3 S3 i* d"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. L, D: P% P% ~, h$ b$ s
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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5 ^0 r5 f$ U7 n: s/ e. R) V+ b% fSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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0 E0 G; M% o- q, WThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 w9 N5 C7 b7 E5 [% R; d: W
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Thank you very much!$ \" y1 m4 s! d6 ^, d2 l
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==========================
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7 F& w$ O/ v: [: O# C. H7 XImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:2 n2 a' d- n0 O& `  m. r( L

2 }* ]0 L" a( z( k  C" |1 v1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.; H" \% m( O6 ?. e

; C  Y8 ]$ }7 K, I  E7 z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 F4 c- Y( H! q
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".5 g- Y& J& ~! b& J
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 o2 @/ T2 V7 V# T0 B9 x9 h

9 C+ ]- ?5 O) L( V9 @* o: HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
1 o; Q: @- x+ T1 C5 za young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。1 B0 g4 \( Y+ c' t& k; R  C7 v- h
怎么理解?
# J2 I" q/ e1 _) b) Z50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 - S0 D" e, [; F. a2 H! y+ _

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不离婚,白头到老
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
; W# w" H" U' L怎么理解?  n7 x6 R0 d5 z& [  O1 v$ r
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
. z& X1 e' C3 A' _cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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' _( R+ b7 ?0 Y- ^我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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