 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ O: G1 m" u G
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.4 h" v3 X: } J
0 L& d( y( u$ P4 Z% {' X; Z+ CI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 X; v! R0 I( m+ v* ~* x
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:, x @, K' f- t) c; x& s+ k$ G. L
$ ~( A6 L4 d5 T$ ~5 o# |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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) g A/ ^8 u+ c8 G' A# B9 R( F! I; nI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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1 y/ T1 o+ P7 j; K, f5 _ @+ c+ Z. B, h"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* q( D0 B0 l7 W0 m; ] h"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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2 C" H+ z: C; K3 {& b6 e6 gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?0 a* J. u8 @+ L- ^' R! F+ V' U- ]
3 Q* g: e6 g3 z6 O4 z) }; BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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% {, C. w& F+ ^; sI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."% Y: A0 _, A: w7 l5 P8 ~
- M8 d E. m) }% b+ N+ bSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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- q$ t8 _+ [2 f" @7 X0 v; kNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”$ w4 X. t F% \8 \
5 @* j3 |$ J& ^8 c; z9 T9 qThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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+ W$ I6 m- J# n5 A4 t' _Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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0 Y' n4 ]1 s5 S/ H, i8 i1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.4 w$ g B, Z/ y9 M$ T0 L; U
! z3 @: m3 l( S"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: H/ O/ ]: {. f9 J# E; G5 K9 v
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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. s, Y! n6 |' h* Y, x( PRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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