 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe. C+ V, w& l7 H# M3 V% l
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* p+ H6 L* [# ]/ s9 l0 A8 N6 q5 Y; a
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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9 M4 W) G: l8 x$ s* x. t% K$ AI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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% M1 k* u7 }! b/ |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; N7 S, \- u* d9 U j
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And the second one was:/ G% p9 b; ]! |) }" g5 u
4 ~2 ^- V- T- }* h/ C5 O* \" t"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ B- O+ L# Y8 g
. l7 ]( N7 l% @$ @+ `/ UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"6 M% Q- f4 }6 h) F/ R6 O. [1 M
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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6 p; F4 }' e9 r; X5 Z% Z% zI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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, D8 G( K) T% l; u- hNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" ]- X- X8 ~* e4 f- j- M0 M- ^
" O" X1 G. R5 z: d- EThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!3 W3 T) }9 A3 d( F9 ^
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0 L7 K/ y) O; ]# d8 C- E OImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:* z9 n2 d" ]+ Z! t: L
9 B' `, w, A& x$ a9 Z+ J. q" L( G1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) N) M! E; n1 h
9 q$ s4 N' _# m; {2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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2 b( F) U% g$ v"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: k4 l# S g4 A! C! m1 g7 p- ^
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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. P* s- Z5 i ZThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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