 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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: m3 w$ k, g9 EI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." ]' z- g( `$ R
# {3 I5 d3 T' p& O+ [ QI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" c1 s& ]7 o8 H+ t% T0 F
& W$ D- V% K6 ]' X% `"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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4 i1 I8 S" Z6 u" R6 R9 s6 t"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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$ G5 f1 D) d' c- Y1 dI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 V4 N9 \- K- T$ y. e
" o: @+ x, i! Y, ^9 x, a7 UI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; U) Y; X" k9 a9 _1 ]& b1 @' o
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 b- b5 J& B5 f6 N' Z9 h" f# v
% T1 A# i+ n b9 a) b* |! Z* y! lI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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5 R# s8 C7 {3 e1 t$ k% PThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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% G* F+ i, s; f& T* `, aThank you very much!4 P( f! F: M5 g0 j. ]
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" b% n3 _6 _9 Q# i+ G. f* rImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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5 s6 C1 p5 b" S+ _1 d- J1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.9 n4 t& `3 K, Q- ]7 a6 k
' k; C- O+ Z/ _, Z5 L6 u" q8 U2 j8 O2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. E% n) _7 t+ a$ c# A
6 u% i6 a' S1 i( Z' P5 n7 [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. \3 K# k" s9 O C3 k1 K ~" c
8 t" ^2 K4 ^) P9 \5 k4 XThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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