 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. _/ N8 E2 r Y8 {+ q* oI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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+ R0 D2 i2 i3 K! l( mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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" u/ c8 i, {- L& E- |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( K% C* |7 N. e! }' q3 w
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And the second one was:# x9 z# {9 `: \, C0 c. E% q
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% n* ~# }% A4 ~. O' b
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ _3 L5 D4 p5 o. T5 S/ W# ^. }( d
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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! W5 ]2 R/ F7 `/ a% s) UI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."' z: H/ ]7 ^( n, I
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”7 ^* \4 ~0 Q) K( T
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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: u$ Q4 j V3 [0 ?2 o3 N, GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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7 C( k- F" K- o! P1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.6 f6 Q+ x; U- A" @3 `
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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7 k2 X! S8 |2 ]# M% O3 U"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ z, Z6 G0 b6 q% ?
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 {! F- T/ s% \) _
2 u' o* F1 g7 |The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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