 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
" J1 o( x1 J/ z& D3 _; p" e+ E
! g. _4 w& Y0 C" @8 jI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
5 n3 @4 S0 R) ^) I3 G3 k1 e9 j9 ^
% k% B! u' t' `5 PI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
. L1 p5 J! u- }% Y( T2 s( b+ y O1 b
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:/ Q" j, E* U% c( L
; |2 j9 o9 ?$ g) h% p1 E' b2 O- I
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 f8 q& y. b X5 M0 ?
* Q: ]0 w9 s, k$ e. L" x3 o7 CI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
% U" }+ p& c w1 X6 T) H
; w p' f& ^7 @2 f$ ?) BAnd the second one was:
! P, {% I5 `, ^
' g+ s6 ?6 Y2 W5 J% t P"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 g) U F4 [( C
% D: A( N3 ~! Y* p1 I3 hI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. R% C% K9 d! {2 a0 A! u
- ]5 j* t( ^( p+ G" ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
, `! U( P6 s) }5 c4 W" }
1 a) F! ~, | ?I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
6 p. X+ q: w8 z4 k& x5 E' c6 I% M# [/ @3 k; l
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
4 r9 U/ o8 V' s- M4 r' F5 `' p% Q* I* B8 T4 |- V6 b; A+ ^
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
: [' ^# R, k2 {& Q- M5 V
% c5 w7 I% i7 T. N/ n& gSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' j' k% Y; u. X" ~3 ]5 P
! v) t% i. w. m/ k2 j% }1 N
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
! ]7 w0 b- P' ]" v' Y l t J
W; \8 y/ S& c+ k9 OThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
" b' l. B5 z& V/ z& V% c7 c! }. ^: ~' ]
Thank you very much!: j. X4 M2 ~+ a2 G6 B# t
" t5 U) T8 v/ d' i' y, `9 M5 s( j
==========================. l; B* ]1 r2 W: g7 R/ [$ ]
( `3 Y, c4 _6 W+ HImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
" ]4 b% e3 h& O; s+ E1 ~
( c8 X& B3 J' w0 A: V1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.. ^& ~7 \! G. L. O- ~( K
* [! A) Y7 z0 n2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
9 K" v8 j" t) K6 ^, k, R( V& C9 _4 j/ q$ Y% q
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
2 P; f) [7 g# a
! g; H: ^3 D' g) h1 T! o2 Q* fJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
) `; e$ V9 Y$ c" U; Y. _- O }7 l9 x1 [% R& k- o
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.3 K- u. U& E/ P! {3 p
& x8 m' j6 ?: ?6 I/ \The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|