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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& {. b0 M5 u6 U8 F# Wbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; u2 }! s$ {, `
the other possibility.3 W& u- X1 M. J% c; l$ ^1 t& M
! M! O; V; {* s( i1 p2 |3 bAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English, j# L: L: w6 Q2 v0 b9 d
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 l0 N' V7 ?3 j6 [6 F2 y
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 S4 V; t( Q; w2 y
the sivil servants jump with joy.# ]* j. M. t3 O6 O. O4 g
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' C5 ~/ q3 m1 C$ |! ckonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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( f! C5 m: S+ ?) j3 IThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
. ~7 F2 [+ P: {) T% d8 M# itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like8 H' E7 Q% g' I4 F4 `5 p7 d
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! Z7 l p/ j! {' ?: m' c0 Xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
6 z. y# a) t0 ^, b$ x! Iben a deterent to akurate speling.% @$ ^7 C9 \, _4 {. A
+ m1 \9 S; D! k! ^" ^: dAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is/ w1 S3 _# D* Y+ l( m% h
disgrasful and it should go away.. ^' K' B6 B+ F3 w# m
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with7 l3 L3 M5 V: `% w4 }
"z" and "w" with "v"." e9 J/ @; p# H7 f, ^" Z7 a6 }3 G
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% m! e" l8 h- {
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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: c6 C; r$ { K5 u0 N2 {/ R; nZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 \1 [- m. E W$ z
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# j3 F m3 ]% ]* K& jUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
( y9 z$ W4 _1 c# `0 tforst plas.
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1 b Y K6 r' j7 C3 A7 P* d1 {7 J0 jIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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