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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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4 U4 P2 P# l9 f' K/ gThe following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have .
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& v$ H& Q! L2 l, t3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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) L: t1 c8 V, [3 V% d! ?4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. . i! y( C d! U& |& w2 n
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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. d. r* _! ^3 \: @* Q4 E/ R+ _6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. 7 M( k- }3 _/ }# x6 A- D1 K
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7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. * E# J g5 _' E$ \' g
: Y8 n5 B- f, ^" J9 C' E8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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9 M @& d* M7 G, X# U" V10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 9 M( V1 s: T# s: M/ [
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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- ^2 I* J. y2 I1 I+ I12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. ( I+ S$ @ H G
& ?1 x, V4 M0 C13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. " p" O( F5 x1 n* L0 H! G
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. # y* O2 \/ ~+ `$ R: K
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
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; k- F# M# y. \16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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