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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. ! u0 t5 H$ G6 A0 v
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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1 d# X. a- U9 L" G2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . ' U! S/ R x v# w. }# M
3 T) L3 U# |/ d, x4 R, A7 U# V- {; I3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent 5 J2 Q* j/ A2 g! X9 h
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6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. ) m1 {/ ~3 l" p; o$ i
, `4 o* h. b- i/ k' [$ y7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. ' v& o4 A; k% k* _" t4 o
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. 3 l# g; P }; t, p$ w7 A
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. ) T% b) w+ m3 n, ~' I
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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8 C; k4 z: ^! b12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
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) g' o( n6 [# D) s, z8 k" z* \, i14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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; L# R$ E: Y7 e15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. 7 g% k5 A9 E: X2 w9 x
5 n9 M& j2 A7 Y4 J16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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