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Tiger s Holiday Poem9 n! z' y3 k! }! O
" `; W% H* M6 ]7 B8 ?Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
: l- o* l4 W. D$ {" L# TTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
9 p; {2 m! s' x: a) UShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,0 a* S. H; D. l! K6 d
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.$ [" P/ Q3 U4 B) k% V& S& w6 {
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
, c' i" c% Q. I2 y$ z) Y4 pWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.4 r6 i" L7 E1 I6 F4 F* |% Z
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
# v) }4 k8 {7 y4 O/ s. |With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
3 t* ?1 C1 v4 n' @1 y2 cFrom the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,5 y9 ?! P* q! q& }5 h+ ]- V/ A
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.: D6 u; k1 J" v0 U$ j9 P' b$ |
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,( f+ u- B' H- \3 I/ @& x! D0 t
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
0 } D2 \& k4 v: BDespite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
3 X3 d( K. j& q/ X1 S4 ?4 rTiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
9 F% H0 x; j7 e/ _6 [: g G/ cAnd I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,1 N4 Z4 }% D5 O! z
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
* p; a" J* }* NShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
! m7 e8 ^$ ]# b, p% l) U" ~: XHer prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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