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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:, Y1 r* d0 P! r6 Z/ ^
* P* Z5 y) p$ }! _, O7 l7 Z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush6 D% s6 Q: M/ G2 x
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
7 f1 }8 B7 J, o8 _( [. fmorning.
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2 y5 j* ^; N6 m- b& N" r3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,( z1 C i, i4 J! C5 j
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a2 [8 J E5 k& B7 V
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 q$ H: v' d$ M' Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 P; ?) t. p1 b7 m- J. Z5 Tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* o$ Q- i- P8 Y# ~; H- P5 r+ B5 Ygo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
: y) I! \7 u0 U5 t1 sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* a1 k5 `1 v6 T# L! f
7 I$ g: e, k) w2 p# s. k5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 k0 ~2 q! ^" K! P- K
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can S0 P" T6 Z0 r; P% y
get you shot.# @9 }2 U1 O( V: A: q1 F H( H) U X6 I
( ~+ \8 W- l# n3 k7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
/ ~' R1 b, r& C8 Ahas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
d2 B+ D9 l* e$ z* g [9 xthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
: n% I" l) p# y# p: c g9 hyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first- K. D/ }* ^" G
vehicle through the intersection./ Y/ k) l% Z; Z
: }6 C8 c; N8 R! h8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour! v* c4 Z9 D" W/ `$ ?) m& D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 n/ E" g. V9 H- q# U* K+ yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. {& C+ @; z& o( W. L# Omore construction starts everyday.1 F( c- }. C" h. T
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
" X n; s! Q2 b/ k8 _5 H; ^) Ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" Y- y M l4 m1 ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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7 I E3 F2 e- T/ x( r10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
3 E4 X( q( ?, J) Y, ^( Z* V" Lroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye! Y% ]; X& g% k7 y, Q
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
3 {$ Z8 V/ ]8 R% `$ U66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ s7 H( O* A% }/ P, d* o1 B4 rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
4 @3 v. s- _& @Activated.'$ n5 N8 N% S9 X' M) S% C2 c
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,! `% W6 E' P+ k4 X u- B
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
7 [; p) o3 q- c1 D! \# S/ caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# f" e. p, S) I, l, P2 ?7 T: X' ~lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, V' K) n0 b& p2 ^: T& _' O: Tblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
