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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:' v% T4 K* G* c) ^) c$ z3 m% y7 I
! k" B4 {* r4 b9 _4 o1 Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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' ]3 `5 E f+ N0 M$ C9 d" H2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
3 h8 w0 c& ~$ e- l+ W4 F- thour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
, @1 y" U1 l Kmorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,; E+ o: ?! E# R$ M& y+ m3 \
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, D( ?/ _9 v/ ^9 ^, Y. N: Planding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.7 b. W7 w- M) ?1 I
. C0 _4 U6 d7 O7 r5 u. H8 ?( w4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 H! t7 ~7 S! I
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 {2 {& z0 l* P8 S+ S- u4 imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 a7 y: o n4 G2 K" g- j7 lgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
" N8 Q$ m" q% i- k; l1 C. Pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) z+ {8 H9 i; W" e1 G- ?5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 a8 w( G, ~5 }$ R9 D7 xcussed out, and possibly shot.- ~' X- r k( k- d% U }
/ D. d4 @: d) J: {' e6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
l; ]8 i& w$ K5 nget you shot.* S& e2 y% C8 F& x% b+ ]! D
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
! [. w& G, C6 dhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at s4 T2 q& u% t. A, `8 H
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot, \3 q# s N: L# s8 ]( B
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
, Q. q. @8 p9 y C9 a0 J, pvehicle through the intersection.( t8 V, @& ~+ }/ n" ^7 W0 s
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour2 U( p }- F9 X/ A1 I0 Q& i( u
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ p+ K2 a" n5 x9 T- X% {
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) E8 @9 A; A' y$ H' I) qmore construction starts everyday.
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6 i% i2 c, h8 d6 A9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
4 u6 W- g$ `6 E* n; ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: c' w5 n, O) s& g
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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; F3 d& Q4 b- O+ {10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
& C) `. Q; f0 h! i. {1 Iroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye4 \ r+ m8 I$ `* t) R
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and/ I: N, S. I! ]
66 Street are also the same road; got it?) G! R3 k3 I2 p% v5 u
9 L$ v$ C( F/ d11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* ^* ~0 i/ O* e3 p/ r6 G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally; K- h' a! V" D* Z( J
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
; a8 M# @ M" @* l+ gyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'+ ]( S: [" a, c$ Z) z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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' J8 X/ p5 A+ S5 {9 [13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: h' B8 [) I h3 E- flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 |" Y' ^: r5 g6 R; mblankets in the vehicle. |
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