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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:. D: w3 }6 ]3 R) n9 N: `; d/ Y
! r1 \% v' H! s+ i0 Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.6 v8 S, D/ J, r o4 M( C* z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
1 e3 t9 z8 ~6 H* ]9 x% e/ {hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday" F4 }+ P! G/ X; G& Y
morning.
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1 e# S E' `! U, A, j/ T# f: e6 U3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,1 v+ v% Z& `: F M8 W* v! n
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a& V0 [ n4 }1 y: F
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ `$ c. z ]8 x( A, oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, f7 r( T$ ^3 X. [muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 S, G% y+ Z% Ago second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell% O/ s; F" h+ `9 K& {+ X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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- P. Q4 ]$ b) X; K1 t$ r/ l F+ W5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; G1 G. }+ i; ?- K( N4 m1 ecussed out, and possibly shot.2 W g1 z5 p" @/ B! N6 Y3 r# b
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can$ R1 A1 o5 M# { A" d: n. f$ p
get you shot.# `- s4 T' r0 z
' a2 b2 K1 B) H; S+ h7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
+ i1 {2 A% R' I t$ p; vhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
" u4 s0 ]" X" e+ i/ nthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot, t" q" Y7 k! v7 r$ A9 h
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first' i w* t# S! ?4 {1 e3 {
vehicle through the intersection.
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8 P* [6 o, h4 I8 I: X8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
; l4 q& W" a" x9 `( u& qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% {: k' {) ?7 p# P5 `1 t" w1 ]
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% ?1 i) p& B2 |! k! K9 [
more construction starts everyday.
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, t( `+ m3 D7 p* r: X* P. L" r l9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
9 u/ D* k) ?8 U7 D3 U& C. t' udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,( X, \( z7 t. B
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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1 U% a) K8 X! u- a, l$ g/ L3 v: ]10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same8 |2 Y2 p; _; @9 s
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye3 i3 J7 r @" o* a( F
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
1 ~! ]! s* R9 e( e6 N& f2 l66 Street are also the same road; got it?' }1 r4 C6 g( D0 g
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 Q0 Z* Y( e7 i, m; a+ x% }& p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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! c. x: P1 b% t3 c* v5 m# i+ V12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
0 n9 h5 r/ R8 @) G! Wyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'$ o- ]7 w" n# m+ `; s
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 O& _* `! D1 ^. E* I
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* |0 k/ p) @# Q* `( D* jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 Z# \" |2 E: k+ P/ O, @blankets in the vehicle. |
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