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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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# V4 @6 Q' J: |8 }7 }! i- i1 x5 t7 M1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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$ P! z. M F" @2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
2 m2 o/ }" O+ G0 ?, f6 Q& n2 Jhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
/ Q8 S9 i$ e* T8 u# E( H) {* \morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
: k" H: W* N' }+ c/ }2 @you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a" ^. G* ]( n5 X; ?
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.& y& j! F, U6 F+ q* e+ l' q9 B5 V
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# z; \: B: C3 l" q( Z) r, z: oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 v( q$ y% z# g' z* cmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, V% ]/ n# d7 d8 Z
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
. _$ q" n7 K( h% k, |phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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9 M( |3 l6 S' \ ^5 H+ K5 ], I6 b5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,* K* I6 Z' v3 T" s4 @3 v
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
: ^( x3 I; r0 Zget you shot.+ F) r$ A$ s& |- Y/ i* E
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that; h) V2 h6 _! V; R$ z1 I. j- X
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
/ _5 r8 n! C6 J- d: B$ M% qthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
1 c/ j& r7 c. iyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
7 @( J0 T; ?( k; uvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour+ f& e1 B, H8 ]0 n# |: @, ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& p, J& T. x# ?9 O* C# f. e
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 T% G2 U5 `: f& _7 E7 o
more construction starts everyday.
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/ j+ t/ U3 k# J) _+ A' ^$ i9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
/ y$ l2 y9 z0 c4 K, _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 Z; v4 ^. }$ g- r, _; C$ |squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 {+ @& i+ w) C3 j; d
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same o9 x4 i5 y# ^3 m( R
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
% X1 n4 M* f& q" t; nRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and- x' |( Z( o! Z. R9 i
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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5 k0 t4 s3 M& w2 W8 m( ?3 g# H11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ n! M7 Y3 Z2 \! ^+ \+ r/ V7 T% @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally4 _: w c$ ]0 x& \# `! I2 V z4 }
Activated.'7 j; k9 l) m/ m! X
0 z% ~( M' ?. e+ _+ L+ D- W12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,4 S4 G M3 D) |. r- `7 \
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
( z- g D( b" u6 e, Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. {0 m- b2 T/ Z1 B- v0 D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; }5 p+ u( F+ ?6 nblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
