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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.9 \. c- e9 M9 U' q
$ k+ s( Z0 T s6 F S" t! O& H4 I2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush1 S8 s1 e( I* o6 Z( S P
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday. ?: s2 X5 Y. y' |8 ]% \
morning.
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c6 d% ~$ l8 P9 I! h" Y3 P, {3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
( ]2 i7 d9 R" Z* f9 tyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a6 y& o. ]% {6 ?2 P0 l: m7 f! o
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' v% K! O7 a- }1 j
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest0 v$ g9 [( B8 M: S; F% v. T
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 C5 D( N( O% e! D3 X
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
9 R2 w! y4 Y4 u3 {$ Z; H7 f& ~phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 r9 F k5 o' J- x) H& |
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 w7 E3 A6 s/ p2 s& Scussed out, and possibly shot.$ {% M$ b9 Z! V& s/ y5 s$ Y( W
' X1 H& C) z0 F, W6 b$ z! H" D6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
- H1 `/ \2 i2 i1 z5 y0 e; _get you shot.# e" c8 U- z& |" g) {$ k
1 d( q/ a! ?' I8 H7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that% ~! H' Y+ l' _' t8 x
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at' ]4 g+ e* t# k; w4 U; z+ r
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot/ `% d8 A8 g9 R' V' w$ D+ ]
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first2 L' R/ o, R* q" G+ p7 o' E
vehicle through the intersection.: z, h; t, S# K8 b* x6 K; u
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
1 p- Z# X% o; hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ N$ G1 x B9 y, h. Wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 Z" E. D5 w0 q
more construction starts everyday.0 H: y$ J: f0 Z: n3 ]
- A A& t. U5 N+ t9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
' }9 j7 E1 i1 s9 T/ \2 H& ~deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 ~# H5 D d) k# w8 Nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ U- x5 x% t0 v+ M
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
" ?6 f" U% X0 O, V) j7 Rroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye9 V; V! v. o: g) L$ ]$ G
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and* L. m( f' [% Z) |4 C: W/ W+ y3 f& @
66 Street are also the same road; got it?% O$ s( f2 f/ M% l$ ]5 [
! u- }, q8 Y. l9 m2 X5 X11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' ^& N* q% h: i/ T% x
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally% Y% c' l& p2 S$ c; m; j2 A
Activated.'. O$ g: x$ F6 g8 b/ M4 q
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,1 }2 i9 ]" k1 m: e" @# ?/ ?
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'* X0 j/ B+ W' F/ O( z y5 W$ d# w. X
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 A5 z" m" M+ j
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 V' Q8 c8 h- I1 E9 p; L" plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, N5 h, H3 e( O6 V9 Z( O3 `blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
