 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1 f; b% p' v6 s& ]! W% r6 Q8 j, X
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写* u! Z" t7 \9 ?% ^! Q; l
+ ~: O/ w5 r! x1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
& P2 B$ ~9 z y7 c+ a7 W+ s% h% ?1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫5 \( N% {. @ E: h6 k) L# @
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
% }& O1 |: l3 {$ n" h% M& qdown.9 s. i1 e# O. @0 N* I2 P
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about : q& ]' E- i9 a8 O3 v, j* x- o; m1 W
you4 G! e% \4 m, z0 M" ?# b
leaving it down.
& v2 H+ g% l/ w d$ ?4 q4 E# z1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？# M' j3 t# u! w" {4 n
! S( b; r7 w& j- E* W1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.9 j# S0 [) Z9 l O
Let it be.
* \+ Y) @- ]; L& X- I5 i1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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- i6 Y; v# p7 }! q0 C) |1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
( b" h; P# f$ L: _: P: Uthat way.
' {- G, m/ n( I2 y* f, V0 |1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！, i6 N, M) m1 n: F6 Q
# i; @0 A& L0 J1. Crying is blackmail.1 c: Z6 k. D* L2 k& l
1，哭泣是敲诈
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$ n, y' i+ w! [) _& Y0 o1. Ask for what you want.. ~, K& v( Q( e9 H/ A
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!" B0 X, @2 o1 o' [2 j8 p
Strong hints do not work!3 O9 w2 K1 e% B8 _
Obvious hints do not work!+ {( }% v: V2 {/ ^1 [6 x
Just say it!
* Q0 ^5 ?2 I4 l5 F& g( ^1，你想要什么就说3 g8 k1 m x E; z" n
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every : L4 I2 d% m1 w- ]9 Y
question.
1 c- F& v5 C$ S; h1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）! _0 J& R; H7 o: T/ z9 v/ `
+ A+ w) \$ d. N( ^1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's( N5 D6 ~& L! P( t
what we do.+ v0 v ?, S; f, p% y
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Y9 K& l) E) V" k. v1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。7 t, U! q0 T% W/ E
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
% D0 ]2 f& B" p3 u# F1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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6 n9 L9 l% k1 p7 e K1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
7 _7 V: J" I5 U9 j) y! U5 [7 n" PIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.1 T7 S. I# ^$ b9 P+ L4 h
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us A0 N# v3 h, H8 v
to act like soap opera guys.
3 e* T0 Z& H" D# ]; G8 P1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们5 ?7 J& h0 x5 R' n9 l7 S0 ?1 ~* ]
! f% S0 @) U% {% `1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
$ j7 c8 N6 N+ S, }1 y1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们+ w0 A B8 ?1 r- G" e7 Q
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways* G8 y5 Z+ u! v
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
5 n# U% G- {% P f3 G4 n" ~8 N1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。+ b/ P. {- p/ Q+ V# F+ n
0 }( H" g( O+ ]) W3 w4 K1 `（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）+ f3 m8 _) w9 I+ V; [
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it8 @8 n W# U8 v$ `2 {" |
done. Not both.
& f5 D3 B/ b+ l3 ?& d3 SIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.6 T3 O+ D1 r ^' [
0 K& l) M- |/ k1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
, z/ O2 c" \( f% Q- @0 Rcommercials.5 u5 I: [* \0 p, L, t
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.2 V9 O' j8 Y* h
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.9 U+ D( U# L. r$ G$ H' ]5 F# ^
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.3 K/ ]- O6 S) h0 l4 W
We have no idea what mauve is.
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$ o0 w7 p* v0 m j1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.$ M+ i+ m2 V/ y
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
0 y; `+ X* j( Fnothing's wrong.0 V: H9 U, t" O- }
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
# W5 c0 i! Q* t- k* n4 vyou don't want to hear.5 H# `: x! T* F9 R' N. `) u
# a9 i \( @* x+ n( M) O/ L1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
3 |" I8 \6 o" ffine...Really.
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X$ |* |2 ?/ l1 Z( z6 O1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
! F5 _! f5 [1 Z4 ^4 \( [' Q5 ddiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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& a! \1 F. K6 Q6 {7 k1. You have enough clothes.1 w" E+ S8 f7 i
% }5 ~& k2 c% V1 E5 r6 f1. You have too many shoes.+ W3 y* Z& u5 H7 |$ Q
9 I( X2 W) Q# ?* Z4 P( I1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!+ `: P* B, ?- h6 o* F |' E u
3 m) {7 `3 K, p" C7 L; k6 [7 `* b1. Thank you for reading this.( J, g% z+ N, ~
$ _& ]- I& G, Z7 H* e, O. H$ _Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;$ f& [% v. f3 U) Q
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Z& D$ b$ ]5 H8 B3 `. s
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
