 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
! {, t3 {) w1 x" ^6 I请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
0 U" m4 v0 P1 r# ?, y
% n% b3 g% w3 ]* q1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
; ]/ ~6 v j" g8 u0 W+ w3 U1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫, Q3 Y* C) R( U6 c6 @3 g7 w
: c% X. {; v, A' O/ W* R2 k) n1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it: S- }. [* x, K$ J$ J
down.
% Y/ T/ f$ Y4 iWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
: w, m3 c; P4 h* k: U/ [you
+ F. Z) ~1 b9 R _; G# z$ g9 k7 hleaving it down.$ n: ~7 j E# `
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
" Y: S0 ?1 V0 ~
* y+ q( s2 V, S n+ |3 d- }1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.! D8 F n) t" _! W" h
Let it be.
1 H( l" b$ t# h( e1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
: T- J v) S- e( q6 r+ r) a: ?( y H/ o+ H" v3 r& X& y: z
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it2 w0 |8 G& [7 t9 P! C
that way.
E6 _! |# C9 |! X& p5 t+ L$ W/ E/ ~1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!: a! ]" ?. _: s3 N: d' P
. J) Y) ?- _6 A+ }1. Crying is blackmail., r9 {9 k Q+ i
1,哭泣是敲诈
% z l7 Z& a% q. Z0 z3 u3 I- ?# v7 ]" U* J5 T5 J, [6 Z
1. Ask for what you want., Q# o/ z# ?5 t4 w
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!7 o7 Z3 `" R& j
Strong hints do not work!
2 j) t% {" i+ G$ YObvious hints do not work!
8 @0 ^3 R: \1 X& h$ u6 VJust say it!
0 a* [, P3 @2 x5 Y; r: ~4 n1,你想要什么就说5 z5 ~5 R9 N& L$ u1 m m8 e
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
7 f. p! t+ j6 S& q
4 D: b% q5 N) r3 ?1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every + ]3 B+ k4 _1 V' m
question.% x- [4 `6 E1 s" f! w. y
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)7 Q- V4 G) G- b8 R
) n E& I% i: r" X
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
+ v2 O+ q/ r+ [; \: J& G0 V, jwhat we do.
+ R1 l+ R/ a* U! l- n6 f$ ZSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.2 H* i" h3 p" m1 |( Y- r3 g& s
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。) C1 W/ Q6 C: P
6 D/ p: @- Z x; d3 O1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.: N. X5 d" U8 g) p( U0 l
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去 D! ]2 v' U E
1 K! `- n6 Y0 x" A0 P2 u
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.0 M8 g! g' z# P5 M
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
' h2 P0 p. O0 V8 b我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
' s6 q2 G7 C! K1 p! R8 G6 s; j0 L, b0 U3 V; `# \8 [
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us! b4 g7 h/ d( E- |4 D0 b* I
to act like soap opera guys.
) u$ |, l0 O; Q8 b1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
" ^2 N0 f' k& N6 x
- k3 Q$ g/ q1 g5 V3 }' F1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us." X; g) y$ R# \5 E1 N/ w
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们* H( w4 F, N3 l9 p$ U
9 z+ K- b+ K" M8 H4 \
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
: c3 V E' ?5 t, |2 Amakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
B, K+ B j. F S- x1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
6 {1 O" ]9 Y$ ~& v# k4 ^1 t2 P
. c! e$ d- o: ^- a2 D0 l- E+ b(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
) i3 P$ B' ?6 O' t8 ?( s1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
# k" j; H- v7 G* rdone. Not both.0 ]7 o+ H5 N6 u" W! I6 x
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself., u6 [. [7 A, c; h# ~6 q# [
% w5 `; {; `) i1 P
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during( S9 M2 R/ k, E
commercials." u' u/ N% @% K+ ]. L' y+ P. Y3 }# b
9 i: D) p) ^/ M+ M% j9 J' l
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.6 b) W6 N- ^" `5 \+ V1 c: N
% J" J% d' V! ~+ q5 K* `
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.6 J' m& \1 F! f# c: U
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
$ X: Z' [/ @" l+ R uWe have no idea what mauve is./ ?6 l( m. h5 U) ~8 `0 y
4 j1 i6 R/ m" M+ g/ _7 k, Y
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.* m% z: M! j+ D0 P ?0 X
5 F( F+ s8 Q4 Y) k4 q) R% X
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like& v; e& E- r K0 b5 Q# {
nothing's wrong.6 |1 j! ]: d8 j$ Z8 y [ H5 L
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
; k/ w: a9 S" Q3 ]2 O8 Z# [# j; P3 ^- T; C+ M) Q
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer' ^0 o) _& t( g+ a# I
you don't want to hear.( w: T" Z9 m: F3 g
% x9 K, u& r% p# X- D1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is- h% R7 y P7 Z
fine...Really.$ C1 Q9 g# l( D! u5 Z: ~# B L
, ]. |. ?: }+ i$ o2 }1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to, N+ d2 k: {5 n4 c) o+ [
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
2 M/ Y$ B0 o9 A* T: ?4 J! ^, v: f( a" }+ j' d5 p, k9 `! T6 s2 p' v
1. You have enough clothes.3 m( t' |- I% C+ P1 @
9 T( q8 }5 J& Y1. You have too many shoes.
- o! Y) Q7 Z+ E8 v5 V( [" S. V6 e* q0 o4 y! v1 ?. g+ b" J
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!9 @4 b# N. t; Z y1 E
4 q. f: e$ d( g* d- y( g4 Z
1. Thank you for reading this.% u1 }$ m. A: H- [$ X
$ e. ]3 N/ C" w0 E
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;9 d$ J" m8 d( \" o
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
5 V: \) ]7 t5 G/ {4 \
: |1 x ^8 x! L$ @$ H/ dPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
5 h! T" X+ N7 jPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|