 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!. S% D5 j* V; U' i
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
" g# u; f4 c/ R& J! r5 {2 I) k# ~: F( F( b! Y
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
. \9 T$ e; f5 `6 P# k/ K' O% y" Y1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
$ J+ o# u! Y- b, A: h9 i
% z9 R8 G2 L5 G! D1 _1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it( t" B$ k/ Q3 ?6 w. E
down.
3 g. K/ M- z9 ?0 k+ wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
f6 z" [8 ?1 m" Uyou
- \$ Z, [: v8 h' t9 yleaving it down.
, d# \$ p: [$ O1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？) Z# ^9 w$ H+ U8 t/ [
. f i9 N/ v/ x: ]( B* r$ n
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 l/ B0 Q+ q' Y6 Q4 T
Let it be.% a5 t, h3 s/ t
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去6 K& N) T7 v: Q) R+ }2 `
/ l- q9 e5 X- ?3 _3 M' I
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it- v: M! ?; ^; `5 v5 Y" b0 D
that way.
3 v0 Y7 R) }- n1 ^1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
$ d2 ?, G7 v; j' {! K4 I
+ [& }6 B" ^! i1. Crying is blackmail.
: j* ~2 u4 }- M. H1，哭泣是敲诈
( l& K8 r( `2 N( n9 k& g# ]0 d2 B- r* C7 ]$ O6 A
1. Ask for what you want.
( {8 `/ x6 q) @1 b8 VLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
! @" N5 e9 J" _Strong hints do not work!0 N! O8 h& a+ u# r
Obvious hints do not work!+ L1 E; u% O' Z) T4 B
Just say it!" S: c) z) N9 M+ n* ~" T* V% U. ]
1，你想要什么就说3 S4 C! v% e' c% n
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
* C) T# d( K. F
; i+ Y! n5 s* K2 M' t( _/ V1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
$ R8 w6 E5 A4 W+ N, ~3 Cquestion.
0 [- D; q( H3 h9 v' c9 y5 t/ ?* ~1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）1 R8 e! `7 g) z( f* Z2 y) K$ \
- m: U0 W. ~$ @- G
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
7 J5 o# L# K( t/ jwhat we do.. Z8 W" R8 a) O( c
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 F' ]6 M9 h. E3 o; f/ c# y1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。* [: G% h. q+ @# \
5 k7 U, X- l; a' O1 U* G N, |1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
. o2 r! ?- `/ l( x, A1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去* ]9 n9 `8 n8 B1 [
8 J5 F3 q% K8 {- g1 D1 i. b' k
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.$ ~) P0 |* K( m
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.3 u2 v$ M3 i" f% k
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了# P% p& x2 e* \5 I7 X: k1 `
% W. F- R& @8 h& j
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us5 i4 w1 M1 T+ Q3 h- [" A& }$ W
to act like soap opera guys. G0 |& z/ O- o5 S# y
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们; K7 E6 z- @) K0 U' P2 H
8 T- d; v n m: I) f
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.- y+ a3 u( P. y" D# F H! U
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
+ r" K8 _ J B( I) M; \% X6 S1 u) Y! N5 E) U6 I2 I
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
) Y0 t6 P2 ^1 H& ?makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
8 N: F5 b. a, I% |& X1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
6 L( U* H: ]3 t+ a5 L1 K7 J
4 d3 R- g. Z3 J$ w" Q6 Z（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
2 H# \$ X! L K. X* A1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it: s- o2 U8 w, V U
done. Not both.0 i; g a# r7 Q7 `
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
7 w+ E3 F+ w+ w2 f, F' f& O1 a0 C0 X# Z$ f
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
5 k; D$ J2 r) [( Q# ]9 gcommercials.
& w {% b% J8 E
$ K: e1 W: p1 H- P! s* a1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.7 c$ T* L! K( t9 N
/ z) @9 E {* }+ u' a6 S7 J* M
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.( B8 k a( N3 X& ]0 g: w
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
" F; o, I) j! m( w4 o0 ^3 zWe have no idea what mauve is.
6 I6 S' Z( u+ g8 l9 Q$ H5 `# S
0 m- z1 y+ @# D6 n* d; d* r1 S7 C1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.9 @) y5 L; ]' T3 \
4 C" z$ |' v8 Z$ @- N/ B
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
* | \0 ?& ]% [. i* Snothing's wrong.! D& y/ _% }' O5 Y4 e
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
4 x. R) E, S. e7 j- i. V/ [# u6 L/ C4 }
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ O. c7 p `5 _1 m0 S# B
you don't want to hear.% W# o! M3 [7 T: b+ R3 H/ Z @. H, Y
7 V1 x" b4 d/ Q+ I0 Q9 h9 a
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is8 x) x) U. j+ r' O9 T, X8 N
fine...Really.6 S/ M. @9 B3 G( s M( R. U
' }% d P' \3 u' e; Z2 Z
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
# D5 h3 k7 g8 h. f b0 g5 Pdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.- B: E, X% M" P7 R8 b) }
1 t2 P& O, m* q1. You have enough clothes.
* S# o4 [& B6 M% c$ U
3 d$ P0 }; C& P; s ^) d% I1. You have too many shoes.2 s% ]% D w& i3 [: L: |
& s* R- U) L6 K @1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!$ E0 k" U4 L5 `: W7 K2 N1 M
- |3 U7 h( i4 ~. H- k
1. Thank you for reading this.) a# C; M; [; h/ X* u8 G" L
8 D) d, r3 w7 ]$ gYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;4 C/ X" l% i* i* ?, |+ }4 p6 W
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.0 K" b7 Q5 z3 ]# P, D+ c7 Z
: |' l; M! _- H( I
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
4 D5 h* k- |! j" k. bPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
& i' z; Z; O8 q* r