 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!# m/ N+ ^1 O" q7 F7 F9 C8 t
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写* [8 U" t* l- b3 n
' v+ C ]% ]3 F( o1 K) `
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
' }6 H9 B6 c1 b/ @% h1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫( h* ^9 P. W8 `$ ^, }0 i) |; d
9 S! C9 g% I. G: q) B1 l
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it+ q+ ?4 e( _& U; _ ?6 K
down.
# g$ F; f6 m) M. I( t+ f. |) L* jWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
+ _4 ^2 V$ s; r9 b+ Q- j0 dyou3 t; Q( b7 s7 z9 m9 h
leaving it down." }; z, f$ x$ O% d
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?# T1 @* W2 R( P* Q0 {. s) E7 Y
6 @) j; v0 p' h
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
5 R; T( \4 n6 `8 S7 N+ x2 Z9 _Let it be.
6 r9 O4 S! h9 o3 r2 s9 M1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去- ~' B4 ]( l1 s2 i, g* J
i5 S) Z9 R: m5 @3 o# m1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it- B5 a6 T* B7 g: i
that way.3 Y6 d4 b3 T- h/ |1 b; [. o
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!8 v7 j9 T, N6 E- i
0 _. G3 M% j; F, o- N' M- L1. Crying is blackmail.
! U0 p* m7 `7 ~* s# I! w2 V1 k1,哭泣是敲诈, w. j0 B( Q5 }9 K
2 }, f2 m7 w4 Z/ g5 M6 m
1. Ask for what you want.: H' G# d* r7 N
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!, o- o+ M# `/ g8 \9 @
Strong hints do not work!' I7 M4 o" Q! M8 S+ _
Obvious hints do not work!7 |6 ^' T g# P0 w5 h; p& u
Just say it!
6 k& p, Q( a, }* M/ W* n0 a! `1,你想要什么就说
, w. _. a4 \, x6 N6 ~( t我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!0 D' b" E. J" a
; G/ Y# d; |) M% M0 _
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
' _. s4 @- M4 ?. i! E5 F" r8 Lquestion.
& d) }9 b3 N/ A1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)! a1 o5 W2 ~- A1 y; I" G2 c) |
; ^! ?! C& J, }6 \: \' l( J1 r1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
" z( i+ h3 U2 p7 r- W0 cwhat we do.- m3 e1 P4 ]; Q( T
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
% U) T8 m5 K# G% \% P% v" \! F1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
. Q- R$ h; f5 b
2 B: Y- c1 o1 r/ W9 f1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.: m& e. [3 p8 }- S1 w# J, N5 N2 g
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
. I2 c4 @ t6 p( V& c
- X4 T- _1 P# _' i1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.% ^# |+ s% V+ T, V, k3 F0 V# A
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 h5 f. I1 z( h. V8 b( d我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
' Z5 ]+ q) f# j+ T. V4 k9 D8 S- v: g3 e% U) M: T' Q
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
r# X6 Q8 l$ K, u0 d. H1 {to act like soap opera guys.
2 T+ C7 e5 M. D8 |1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
# a0 y6 C& G" E! w& x: D, z
5 ^, }- Y+ S3 J2 y1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us., r4 d% k6 ~0 |. r4 \" i3 J' |
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们" P P1 p( m2 Q- Q f
7 [9 T) h9 b4 x% w
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways% D/ k* A9 X. Y# n$ q% S
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.8 A8 \( Z7 N: o& `: p; W2 v
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
Z+ O0 b! B o; @
) q- ?$ A7 O3 y& ~! F" [* w- F(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)/ y0 I5 G; J5 H. x
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
2 F \( y% V% `5 b+ ~4 D2 f; Ldone. Not both.
' f X" |( t! U/ p# B" R j3 s6 tIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.+ `5 f" K$ z- l$ c; P( T
" y% x# T9 |# ~) i1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during- d2 P% G: J$ k! W' s
commercials.& _! w: p9 I) [. f7 L* z
9 J% R6 n$ N* Q5 R9 J) U& ^$ ?
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
3 s# g s8 B2 n3 T" X
9 {' h, D1 Q( t7 h, l* ~$ K1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
: |, [+ N0 I/ ?7 ?8 W0 YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
' r8 `9 J* @: F0 H3 }8 ~6 VWe have no idea what mauve is.& D0 s8 b4 N5 z) [' ^( n: \9 [' [1 K' X
4 _1 h8 q2 f4 g9 w) w) R* ~( `0 t4 J1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.. k- ]- ]8 B5 V3 Z9 D: C
' g, J4 Q% W6 \0 a3 S R
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like+ x# f+ _3 T2 y( J# ~- t/ X0 O( v
nothing's wrong.
; c$ S* V' j4 y% r/ rWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.) X4 d6 _$ U( W- t
! T% [- {9 G7 W$ l6 R0 P
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
* o9 a G. {9 G- U, myou don't want to hear.' q V# y: `7 k( T5 B% O" \4 T
) S! p5 W+ w) R5 J
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is: [1 F, Q: I* W% V H
fine...Really.
& C, E7 w+ t* Q( H+ ?/ j7 I/ w8 i/ G: X
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
3 W" U( D1 ~4 Bdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
% e8 E/ D" c8 ~
3 G& k$ C9 Y) T; w0 |1. You have enough clothes.& u1 k- e: S4 B
- w# p" W3 B+ ]1 `! }1. You have too many shoes., S/ `6 d$ p0 J" s2 C& W
" c. \) H7 A- e/ m) e }/ b6 W
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1 I: ?( N$ P! Y) \8 Q2 r/ ~$ g; v' W- h
1. Thank you for reading this.
% w Q5 j1 I. x* }: B+ w x
8 V2 K2 T1 f3 ^( Z1 s; JYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
; W2 c9 h6 l7 a3 ZBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
! H0 W: a6 l( ]: H) O( F
9 I8 ~) }" ]# M5 tPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.) S- ~; c7 u9 n- k5 x! |- ~) U% d
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|