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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!# m/ N+ ^1 O" q7 F7 F9 C8 t
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写* [8 U" t* l- b3 n
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
' }6 H9 B6 c1 b/ @% h1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫( h* ^9 P. W8 `$ ^, }0 i) |; d
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it+ q+ ?4 e( _& U; _  ?6 K
down.
# g$ F; f6 m) M. I( t+ f. |) L* jWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
+ _4 ^2 V$ s; r9 b+ Q- j0 dyou3 t; Q( b7 s7 z9 m9 h
leaving it down." }; z, f$ x$ O% d
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?# T1 @* W2 R( P* Q0 {. s) E7 Y
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
5 R; T( \4 n6 `8 S7 N+ x2 Z9 _Let it be.
6 r9 O4 S! h9 o3 r2 s9 M1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去- ~' B4 ]( l1 s2 i, g* J

  i5 S) Z9 R: m5 @3 o# m1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it- B5 a6 T* B7 g: i
that way.3 Y6 d4 b3 T- h/ |1 b; [. o
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!8 v7 j9 T, N6 E- i

0 _. G3 M% j; F, o- N' M- L1. Crying is blackmail.
! U0 p* m7 `7 ~* s# I! w2 V1 k1,哭泣是敲诈, w. j0 B( Q5 }9 K
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1. Ask for what you want.: H' G# d* r7 N
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!, o- o+ M# `/ g8 \9 @
Strong hints do not work!' I7 M4 o" Q! M8 S+ _
Obvious hints do not work!7 |6 ^' T  g# P0 w5 h; p& u
Just say it!
6 k& p, Q( a, }* M/ W* n0 a! `1,你想要什么就说
, w. _. a4 \, x6 N6 ~( t我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!0 D' b" E. J" a
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
' _. s4 @- M4 ?. i! E5 F" r8 Lquestion.
& d) }9 b3 N/ A1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)! a1 o5 W2 ~- A1 y; I" G2 c) |

; ^! ?! C& J, }6 \: \' l( J1 r1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
" z( i+ h3 U2 p7 r- W0 cwhat we do.- m3 e1 P4 ]; Q( T
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
% U) T8 m5 K# G% \% P% v" \! F1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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2 B: Y- c1 o1 r/ W9 f1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.: m& e. [3 p8 }- S1 w# J, N5 N2 g
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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- X4 T- _1 P# _' i1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.% ^# |+ s% V+ T, V, k3 F0 V# A
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 h5 f. I1 z( h. V8 b( d我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
  r# X6 Q8 l$ K, u0 d. H1 {to act like soap opera guys.
2 T+ C7 e5 M. D8 |1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
# a0 y6 C& G" E! w& x: D, z
5 ^, }- Y+ S3 J2 y1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us., r4 d% k6 ~0 |. r4 \" i3 J' |
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们" P  P1 p( m2 Q- Q  f
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways% D/ k* A9 X. Y# n$ q% S
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.8 A8 \( Z7 N: o& `: p; W2 v
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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) q- ?$ A7 O3 y& ~! F" [* w- F(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)/ y0 I5 G; J5 H. x
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
2 F  \( y% V% `5 b+ ~4 D2 f; Ldone. Not both.
' f  X" |( t! U/ p# B" R  j3 s6 tIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.+ `5 f" K$ z- l$ c; P( T

" y% x# T9 |# ~) i1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during- d2 P% G: J$ k! W' s
commercials.& _! w: p9 I) [. f7 L* z
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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9 {' h, D1 Q( t7 h, l* ~$ K1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
: |, [+ N0 I/ ?7 ?8 W0 YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
' r8 `9 J* @: F0 H3 }8 ~6 VWe have no idea what mauve is.& D0 s8 b4 N5 z) [' ^( n: \9 [' [1 K' X

4 _1 h8 q2 f4 g9 w) w) R* ~( `0 t4 J1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.. k- ]- ]8 B5 V3 Z9 D: C
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like+ x# f+ _3 T2 y( J# ~- t/ X0 O( v
nothing's wrong.
; c$ S* V' j4 y% r/ rWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.) X4 d6 _$ U( W- t
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
* o9 a  G. {9 G- U, myou don't want to hear.' q  V# y: `7 k( T5 B% O" \4 T
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is: [1 F, Q: I* W% V  H
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
3 W" U( D1 ~4 Bdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
% e8 E/ D" c8 ~
3 G& k$ C9 Y) T; w0 |1. You have enough clothes.& u1 k- e: S4 B

- w# p" W3 B+ ]1 `! }1. You have too many shoes., S/ `6 d$ p0 J" s2 C& W
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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8 V2 K2 T1 f3 ^( Z1 s; JYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
; W2 c9 h6 l7 a3 ZBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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9 I8 ~) }" ]# M5 tPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.) S- ~; c7 u9 n- k5 x! |- ~) U% d
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。% J0 U/ ]2 o$ j6 [: g5 w

8 M9 W% {% B  ^# R' E0 b1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。9 p' O# q0 c! G5 L) r7 N8 E' Y/ x
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?, A; g/ |! D/ [5 M$ z

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% p! d; S4 s+ l! F% l6 ^! [/ P' ^1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.( x1 U0 }- u! t+ ~
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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; g+ F" }$ S! s8 o0 K1 H7 _1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.$ [  k, w4 T4 o$ {3 v, z! U9 P. X
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。# C0 U; S6 o' b( B% S9 S/ c
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5 s8 C! m* V! E1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
9 V# V& Y+ @3 w" q% ~5 J* f如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.) d/ e0 d8 H( [' }. @" I4 J
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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' i7 G4 D7 h/ p; @. ]- s' Y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.# i$ h& r! z$ s& ^0 n- v1 V0 E# |
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
. u& y7 d" Z$ B7 p3 n  _+ dALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.( k, |4 `: k* c0 s3 W7 a$ e8 }! f
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
2 v4 \8 d, @0 l. |
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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& X3 J$ M, e' L6 R2 Z还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
. v/ D# ]" I6 V" ]5 }2 I* }如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
( y+ d* Y- L; X/ o  G( q+ O不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。( p% E; Z! x0 n" Q, D9 M( N

" P3 w2 h1 [3 l* D% V1. You have enough clothes.$ h0 k/ H6 f6 P9 ?9 q6 J* v2 w3 I, _
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
" I0 `' I+ I% D# X( x4 a你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
& T/ x$ M8 ^/ T" |我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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1. Thank you for reading this.. w' j5 n" d3 U! [% c" ]6 U
多谢你能看完这个# ]& R; P. V; u0 x8 P! B3 _" i' b9 P

4 e6 W" A6 \( p" Y! R2 g8 Q! |Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.# n- R8 z0 c& q% [$ B: T3 }: |- f
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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4 n9 H9 b/ Y$ H9 k3 L) @# `这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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3 Q+ \, F* {) X) S3 d还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿- C) k9 G$ p- w

1 e: A# Y3 [. e) }" [/ Q% G: _玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:/ w) K2 q+ M) j0 {# ^  w, H
1. You have enough clothes.( \' Y6 x( F+ I
你的衣服足够多了
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0 k7 F" ~1 G& s8 s0 q  z1. You have too many shoes.
& c) A0 W0 W$ f  v9 @3 ?你的鞋子也太多了吧

; C7 ~/ t& [$ d) {这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
% h" n0 f7 f% p( @5 JLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
, S" ~4 t8 m% j+ ^" N7 @7 }+ E3 xStrong hints do not work!
4 O/ @6 z  @6 s* y( o: pObvious hints do not work!
$ ]/ O7 A" e+ o' d4 GJust say it!. E6 e, P/ `7 I, c$ b( |9 Z
1,你想要什么就说! R9 ]$ p) N+ c
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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2 p8 C- l2 n8 X( P关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:+ ~  ?/ I; `5 Y/ ?
1. Ask for what you want.
. }. M6 G/ _4 `9 N' ~2 FLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
" V5 Y" g- r! R$ qStrong hints do not work!3 W4 i, L9 {9 _
Obvious hints do not work!
. ~  f* N0 A) n, C+ ?Just say it!: A' V+ X8 b( y# x( v5 ], K( n4 O+ }. Z0 c
1,你想要什么就说: ~2 Y3 u5 e% X5 O5 J
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...
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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:& w8 C, {2 J; p- b4 P
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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* S6 y& i6 W+ g. h' b- U( C咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿  @8 T+ D( g* d4 x% d' w0 T

, v& z' C& F/ N( Y8 ~http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:& T0 u# K) {5 X

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2 T6 [3 X# M5 b- E) H/ C咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿: Z7 _( |+ l, X* ]; a
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:% G, y. ^* }+ q# _* M, i
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!

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体会?
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