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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
0 T1 b1 O; _. T, j' ^- m6 W请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
, P% H- ^# C1 N. {' d1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
+ c5 x* u/ d; q% ?6 ?, A' hdown." W8 R  H# L% W6 y6 m! ^2 [6 _' Q% O
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
/ _! j) r8 O  U: G  }' p% w3 Ayou7 @+ y7 f  T1 |% r
leaving it down.2 q, Z; I- V- i. D" P; Z) Y  ?- g
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?8 [( U& `$ J  G4 t
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
+ ^$ }/ \* _, c+ q0 w# RLet it be.. E4 |4 v  F3 ~4 W3 P/ f) {% L
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去. y1 ^- V- K8 [0 q6 p, f5 t
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it# Z$ W+ \7 G# ~5 a. n: u
that way.$ t5 D5 g( S/ y, A
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!3 u$ z! k& [- Y6 T+ b
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1. Crying is blackmail.  S+ c6 ]$ s5 L; T4 J
1,哭泣是敲诈# F" c. R, r* _" C; @4 H: `
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1. Ask for what you want./ k: ]4 `( q# r  ^% M
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
7 C4 g1 @9 _5 _) W( {9 aStrong hints do not work!: f% h  ?6 z$ Q1 f
Obvious hints do not work!
' S+ V1 K3 X! f* h4 hJust say it!  W( B( G) T* y8 T% |1 ^3 ~$ ?
1,你想要什么就说; Z* I8 D7 p3 \) F: q8 B
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!4 x/ _2 |$ V% o7 S. g

- G. J& u. I5 r2 T7 ^1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
1 _/ p7 u  u- `( kquestion.& D% N; H2 T( r
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)6 T. v9 W6 }" R* k

; m" K7 f( ]) X  y1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's- g. G* {+ S  W- D: f1 o7 H2 S
what we do.
* U! n: j3 E9 u, g& @. S' ^Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- ]3 m9 p3 G5 e0 J/ c& N; s1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。$ ?% Q- b/ q$ k) o, X+ G( U

9 ^# B/ j8 M/ D0 [( u( Q) E1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.+ Z  J* x0 ]% b$ G
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
+ s  j) x' Q3 y
( R' r' _& x6 ~2 U+ [  c& A1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& }7 F/ t1 P4 w1 f. [
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.; X, ?6 L" ^! F) e' ^  O$ J9 x; P
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了0 |) c' ^# g9 H6 U

$ o2 b: ?" D  m1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us5 Z1 Z) {8 R$ f3 f; L3 m2 d
to act like soap opera guys.
! {9 T, `" U0 l6 d4 Z) x" k0 V1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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0 q7 I& Z# ]+ ~  w. Z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.) c9 C$ I3 x; t% J' H
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们: o8 Z  ^: x& f  H  N% Z
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
+ D" ~- y: u. y' P+ ymakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.2 R$ P8 k& J: k0 {$ C1 j& v: O5 V. `
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。) C* t7 Z* z2 d8 x1 T# ?: L. k* q& T$ H

3 K* t0 _, q7 Q1 L. j, j6 J(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)" Y9 U" |! o6 R5 I: \
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
: t* h7 E4 g7 Odone. Not both.
) W0 m# Z2 F" {+ g/ y1 J/ ~' b, ^If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.' X4 ]9 i2 c  k# L$ w- ]

2 J( _% K; G7 B" P1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
0 U5 g9 X2 y" dcommercials.
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* y) H# h$ E- b! s" k8 Y1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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0 \' l0 W7 A/ J1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.; ^9 q+ o) O/ V* \0 _
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
# x/ }* p- F2 l9 {We have no idea what mauve is.! t- p1 i/ r3 _2 }' K8 j& c8 X9 N

7 u  c) }% H% s) U, J1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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/ r2 M* V# \' p( s1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, W3 v" O% ]- i7 F' |4 I
nothing's wrong.( g* q& F% U7 _* q
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
+ L2 N/ _: B, [: r4 _5 ]( e8 myou don't want to hear.& [$ P2 |" B+ @! L. ~

* j! b5 i2 M+ n1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
. K  s" E# O7 P$ Ffine...Really.
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( x0 @( }: P& T4 x4 |1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
1 t2 N6 p- h: [& |8 m0 Y6 Ddiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 p! Q# O+ q* P2 T; j0 |
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!5 i' C7 P: h9 g' S) J6 E

2 O2 [, b  D5 J: b0 W1. Thank you for reading this.$ |7 @4 d; S/ L" U! V
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
' {& I- r, X; d$ U* T0 MBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.8 D' g& p" U" l' X( g# n% t

& H) f( W; ?& c4 h- \3 X2 ^! yPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh." F8 b, k) H3 s7 i8 U3 p3 r  g
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。7 c$ p1 p- b% N: ?# L

' P3 _8 K+ ^" h0 [& h6 {( p1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。4 G) j) Q- L8 G. f+ K! D  @& q
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! _. P' T4 _3 c8 b' K  k1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?# o2 n1 V1 t7 ?# c

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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
) t4 n: U- F9 n我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!6 X5 i; r2 y# ]: `' {
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+ d! w1 `( q( [2 q5 @) h* s1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
8 Z$ m2 q8 f, @所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。0 }+ ?7 {' ^* n5 w, F

2 Q  |1 J7 H0 T5 q, P/ \: p
& A0 |7 [# n" l3 _1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that." @2 u! o3 p; W! N9 p, B
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。8 r) M& s; K& {% ^" D: s) M

# C; f: g' N& V  b
2 O% H! Z# i# p' k3 X) Y0 k1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
# V. o' ?. a7 k. R如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。2 o" h+ M0 U4 l

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
" U; f3 L( p! L+ a- |; I如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
: U/ ?1 o/ K9 {) B# kALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
8 W. |* [4 n. m6 |7 ?- R所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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+ U, @' I: _1 r4 B/ H这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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- T2 N# r  f- b- B0 H; b) w' \; p' c! a还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.2 p% o" V; `' h# g
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你7 }+ m  G  v9 x' j
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: w+ ]& a* p+ g( }1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.$ p! ^9 o, z& H
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。9 W% ]" m& m4 J5 d
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1. You have enough clothes.0 m% W8 ?" h3 T9 V" q7 n6 X: Y. x. F
你的衣服足够多了
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) f8 \4 M+ X. T1. You have too many shoes.% I* V& M$ ]1 p. b" M$ C* q
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
9 l! B/ L( \3 A1 N我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?. w# w) v; L  t" a* y8 P% y
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1. Thank you for reading this.
! l* R" H) g# a多谢你能看完这个
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4 E4 ?' Z. k# v7 u% r2 f( D( p. WYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
1 w/ J( d) P9 n0 k/ U& f我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:+ a: E0 R# G9 x2 D" G' N
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置3 T/ V1 i7 B1 T) E1 e9 l2 a

1 Y9 C3 U' k9 d4 C5 r- H还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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' V# r2 L, O' r应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿& P# j& h* W1 C6 X

5 Z! h% ~( r1 L! K玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
$ f( K" {* h  X  `2 O$ f, }/ `1. You have enough clothes.
& Q9 v8 k2 N9 [3 }6 L$ b& N你的衣服足够多了5 c; @4 V7 i3 X  Z: c8 Q

9 v; ^+ j4 o# _$ x  k- ]' x1. You have too many shoes.
) t3 S8 |( _  Y  [4 J% `你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?% R- i0 [- s7 b" H9 B
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.' e+ t. e& V' V, ]# J8 U- V
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
* k% v0 l6 N4 ?2 ?4 o# H/ _Strong hints do not work!! _; c( {- w8 O9 b, y
Obvious hints do not work!' c5 C+ S' J6 d3 H
Just say it!' ]2 m' R! r7 ^5 _
1,你想要什么就说* X& I3 W) R- a$ `% J
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
5 o" I6 |1 e% b' ]9 z7 w& c, o- d/ H7 d/ M4 E: V3 k8 a
关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:: o- A0 Q/ W  H
1. Ask for what you want.
) T5 i" W: V, d* s; Z- iLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
* O  r" G/ c$ x. G3 [( _8 W2 wStrong hints do not work!
1 W2 ~; C6 O& B+ M- T0 \2 c$ ~Obvious hints do not work!
* f8 U* k8 H& }. l& P  I1 ?; bJust say it!
! |5 A! R/ q4 A1,你想要什么就说4 O  G' x- W9 L$ N$ c9 t' S9 u
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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# D- x, q, W# f4 \5 D瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:$ o) f$ {7 ^8 _+ _0 Y
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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7 f6 p3 x3 n1 x8 B' l6 j' l- U咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿6 B' V* t( ?6 o4 @

  L) A: ~7 @! qhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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0 T  ], n& C0 ^1 B# a) v  }咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
$ G: {' O- B+ D1 @+ w# U3 n
' y! a8 J& r9 G6 U6 B! rhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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8 ]6 `) N- O+ f' o$ d- s# D这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
4 V5 s" N$ u8 r' T8 A% Q1 f2 a# j: h/ B4 e
还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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& u+ i5 i6 R9 m) a! A! @
. X) `2 Z  M, R3 {, a这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
- G* ?  X% r0 O4 m6 e1 g+ d% ^3 F. }. s$ c
还想问问你的体会呢!
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7 I! w% Q! o- d( h: ^$ h; P5 n% s& j5 K6 e% q
体会?
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