 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
0 T1 b1 O; _. T, j' ^- m6 W请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
, P% H- ^# C1 N. {' d1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
+ c5 x* u/ d; q% ?6 ?, A' hdown." W8 R H# L% W6 y6 m! ^2 [6 _' Q% O
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.2 q, Z; I- V- i. D" P; Z) Y ?- g
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?8 [( U& `$ J G4 t
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
+ ^$ }/ \* _, c+ q0 w# RLet it be.. E4 |4 v F3 ~4 W3 P/ f) {% L
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去. y1 ^- V- K8 [0 q6 p, f5 t
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it# Z$ W+ \7 G# ~5 a. n: u
that way.$ t5 D5 g( S/ y, A
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!3 u$ z! k& [- Y6 T+ b
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1. Crying is blackmail. S+ c6 ]$ s5 L; T4 J
1,哭泣是敲诈# F" c. R, r* _" C; @4 H: `
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1. Ask for what you want./ k: ]4 `( q# r ^% M
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
7 C4 g1 @9 _5 _) W( {9 aStrong hints do not work!: f% h ?6 z$ Q1 f
Obvious hints do not work!
' S+ V1 K3 X! f* h4 hJust say it! W( B( G) T* y8 T% |1 ^3 ~$ ?
1,你想要什么就说; Z* I8 D7 p3 \) F: q8 B
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!4 x/ _2 |$ V% o7 S. g
- G. J& u. I5 r2 T7 ^1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)6 T. v9 W6 }" R* k
; m" K7 f( ]) X y1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's- g. G* {+ S W- D: f1 o7 H2 S
what we do.
* U! n: j3 E9 u, g& @. S' ^Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- ]3 m9 p3 G5 e0 J/ c& N; s1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。$ ?% Q- b/ q$ k) o, X+ G( U
9 ^# B/ j8 M/ D0 [( u( Q) E1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.+ Z J* x0 ]% b$ G
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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( R' r' _& x6 ~2 U+ [ c& A1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& }7 F/ t1 P4 w1 f. [
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.; X, ?6 L" ^! F) e' ^ O$ J9 x; P
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了0 |) c' ^# g9 H6 U
$ o2 b: ?" D m1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us5 Z1 Z) {8 R$ f3 f; L3 m2 d
to act like soap opera guys.
! {9 T, `" U0 l6 d4 Z) x" k0 V1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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0 q7 I& Z# ]+ ~ w. Z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.) c9 C$ I3 x; t% J' H
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们: o8 Z ^: x& f H N% Z
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
+ D" ~- y: u. y' P+ ymakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.2 R$ P8 k& J: k0 {$ C1 j& v: O5 V. `
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。) C* t7 Z* z2 d8 x1 T# ?: L. k* q& T$ H
3 K* t0 _, q7 Q1 L. j, j6 J(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)" Y9 U" |! o6 R5 I: \
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
: t* h7 E4 g7 Odone. Not both.
) W0 m# Z2 F" {+ g/ y1 J/ ~' b, ^If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.' X4 ]9 i2 c k# L$ w- ]
2 J( _% K; G7 B" P1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
0 U5 g9 X2 y" dcommercials.
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* y) H# h$ E- b! s" k8 Y1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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0 \' l0 W7 A/ J1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.; ^9 q+ o) O/ V* \0 _
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
# x/ }* p- F2 l9 {We have no idea what mauve is.! t- p1 i/ r3 _2 }' K8 j& c8 X9 N
7 u c) }% H% s) U, J1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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/ r2 M* V# \' p( s1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, W3 v" O% ]- i7 F' |4 I
nothing's wrong.( g* q& F% U7 _* q
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
+ L2 N/ _: B, [: r4 _5 ]( e8 myou don't want to hear.& [$ P2 |" B+ @! L. ~
* j! b5 i2 M+ n1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
. K s" E# O7 P$ Ffine...Really.
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( x0 @( }: P& T4 x4 |1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
1 t2 N6 p- h: [& |8 m0 Y6 Ddiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 p! Q# O+ q* P2 T; j0 |
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!5 i' C7 P: h9 g' S) J6 E
2 O2 [, b D5 J: b0 W1. Thank you for reading this.$ |7 @4 d; S/ L" U! V
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
' {& I- r, X; d$ U* T0 MBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.8 D' g& p" U" l' X( g# n% t
& H) f( W; ?& c4 h- \3 X2 ^! yPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh." F8 b, k) H3 s7 i8 U3 p3 r g
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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