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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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; L, H2 a1 q8 U1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. % h' D$ F* U" J$ U. w, z. S
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 4 ]0 R' T7 P+ w3 d( @' @
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
) s& a5 ?8 n( @1 N( d c) Z% y! @4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 9 l X( p( q/ i' I' O
5. Weed $ Q1 T0 h# h. E i7 b
( b* B! F& e. `* yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA % f6 k8 f" ]0 ?' _# e! j2 A% e
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
% A; Z1 F o* e, \2. Ottawa who?" {/ \# Y/ R2 l2 `+ b
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
( Y6 j& s8 j+ B8 F9 g4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. & ]% z" F! G ]2 ]: C
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. : J( K' T; V; L
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 5 i2 E# F* g/ H0 S
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1. You never run out of wheat. ' i8 x% Q/ ^/ ?6 E7 f
2. Your province is really easy to draw. - @& b. k. u% Z ^ H
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
8 n5 r2 X7 D& Z, i4 R4 n4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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2 _4 c9 a$ d- H# Q+ M2 _$ yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. $ ] U5 [- f6 }( f: s
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. ) s8 ?1 n: }$ O7 V R
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 0 D2 Z' t( b4 O
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
' a$ a5 E$ v; Q0 D5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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6 ~( k% ?$ {1 g/ KTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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3 R9 M9 i8 E& D8 k: a# f3 o1. You live in the centre of the universe. , O' e) ]2 v2 _5 A
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. ; n/ @/ _6 q7 t8 O$ \
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4 z; p! _ i/ p8 H; g3 [2 _4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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6 f- ~' j0 P1 D) I* B! pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
/ N! t6 d2 C( p1 \2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
7 Y4 X) b& H$ k5 N. g3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. ! P8 t& z) v, a! @6 G6 u
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
- P, G& Y$ x" D! ]5 K9 U: OTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ( e3 }! V* Z& t. T
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 4 |. L3 \8 t5 N$ l
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
, `' Y, ^ q2 l, d3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
$ N- b* b4 R% l5 |' G! |! @- W$ j4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
1 E! g+ k8 A3 h0 y1 ?; x# a2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
, |" w2 C- W3 ]& Z, i3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. . z' A, x; |9 q% ~0 h
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND : s: m0 [; h2 Y7 G3 i* q) F; e, B: c
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. ! \1 V6 s# z5 ^; P- e5 s
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
0 q! T! N5 l9 Q. y5 F" f3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. * \1 N8 k8 i4 Z. b0 V/ T
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
1 h$ [ g" w+ |# z5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. . w2 L; S6 U+ L2 @- F
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 8 `3 u6 G$ L( S& p( Q5 H& X U3 e
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8 B. u ~7 P Y: \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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) ]2 `, E2 n' g8 m" S" ]1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
0 {4 p ?/ e6 q g; C2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. + ?7 y2 g$ |' V5 C/ \- C
3. The workday is about two hours long. $ i/ x+ d8 X1 ~4 `) U
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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