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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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$ _$ I! ]9 D4 d& ?9 Y! u+ B1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
0 p% k' c, i Y c1 O2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ! {' e; x( O6 u. y; ]& `
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. ' v9 k. g9 w) F8 v$ I$ K0 b* U2 F
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. / j9 t& c; u; ^
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ( M7 T1 v( v" F9 s
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
( K- ?( A; h$ A3 W2. Ottawa who?
1 G) Z6 G; r& a& q w3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
% }! H- r+ J: x3 |/ H4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
* \& H$ N) v1 b$ |3 @5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
, V* n) e; J4 v8 x- f7 i$ s6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ' K/ q/ d6 R% R' A0 w# O
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 8 z' ~6 s: M+ y Q/ F7 y& A" A% |
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1. You never run out of wheat.
1 W6 Z8 w7 H; A/ F2. Your province is really easy to draw.
/ a5 o3 v \% [. Y* h$ p2 e. [6 B9 }3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 2 z7 |/ M# J+ ?& a4 B
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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% ~3 T: ?5 y7 m$ o/ WTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA # M% Q9 a: a. Y- e# G$ u
" f c8 L) ?5 O: m# Z/ B: {6 R) `1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
" @" W. d+ D7 S; `0 q3 r2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
- E) y' I. Z* q3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
k. D5 ?) k* A7 Z3 p4 I m4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
* c# R3 h0 z$ V% {( w5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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r! x& M: W) V" M) NTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO / \* r, a: ?8 \9 ]& u& o7 N
% l: {# s# |% p, B) K1. You live in the centre of the universe.
& _+ _4 H! g" |* A. i. l2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. $ l1 o9 q" B3 G @& K+ n
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
1 d. t3 @1 b* i% G9 P3 n: V4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ) [! S5 }; ?7 |0 u9 s6 }5 c6 O. O% `
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" b: H! ~* {. G! hTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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" v5 W6 x' Q" t" ~* T! U! ?7 N1. Racism is socially acceptable # O( a: c( G( y' j/ d) ?% T3 m+ n
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 3 v" w/ C+ g" g$ \5 u. G
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. + Z6 j1 R' |1 H6 k. D
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo ** u! X0 T# F$ ^ Z
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 1 {6 q% O7 x) N( F# w6 F1 t
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
; e4 o% x9 i( n( n% f2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. * s7 N' E% E5 E1 w; J
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
/ T6 g' ~9 w7 R1 r0 q, q4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 9 U- H( S3 e. c, o2 U8 n
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 1 |" ]4 o( a2 P) o8 E; W
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. " ^ j. r% B8 H, x! {2 e8 P2 |
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND * o( U( n; B$ O: Q6 D1 h
" t9 ~# ^% r3 y1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
+ J4 H9 G6 B5 y5 @& t; c5 ?2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
, ]; Z3 Z% \( B/ X$ S3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
2 l" t ^* ?' q! ]2 s4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." & x' i2 R9 }" v8 m' @9 ?
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
4 }$ s$ ]( M" o! H2 o6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 1 S4 `* J P1 @# o
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" E. z8 x# i. ^# JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND " X0 W* |9 s" K, U- R+ L M
# [+ B( c; }$ n0 I1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
5 y) ~8 V8 q. Z1 O2 j! O# t2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. R- u: R5 b' V! w. b& ~- `
3. The workday is about two hours long.
8 v0 @1 V- s _' I% m4 X& A4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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