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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
6 t2 p3 i& ]7 n& D6 l: P' h2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ; j0 I7 _5 c$ A
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
9 Q8 h" L' ^4 f4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 8 v: f& C4 b9 y# H6 f7 W* m
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA * d9 P- o, k8 e
U2 H* p; _# u5 u1. Big rock between you and B.C.
5 J( X$ r5 ]" w3 N4 M1 V2. Ottawa who?
2 y9 n; V8 |5 O* q2 p& u" ? i) R3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. , T+ X4 r3 O8 x5 W4 s5 S' {
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 2 ?* T: |! f# i2 ?3 h. b b
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
! s8 [8 T' K$ p: M- y1 [: B" M1 ]: a6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. * z x/ ?+ ^- q7 q) o/ J+ p+ e
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; J( T2 j* g; a' p& ~. [' c: LTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN - \8 y/ Y' ?6 D4 v; p, j$ K
* Y( H8 j% j/ R( A# _6 N; `1. You never run out of wheat. , Z( U! N% C1 c6 D& z* R* R0 g
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
; Y8 S0 H+ i6 T' i2 M3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
e+ P0 V9 @) V! _! p0 g1 p. @4. People will assume you live on a farm. ' R# B/ I4 b6 c5 Y, C2 X
9 Y7 v% h; N7 c0 R6 Y! C0 lTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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0 X( o$ p& q r! F" _% I, f- c1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. + z: C9 P, X5 G- }' Z. W
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3 c% m8 p, @. w' K2 E# z3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 1 j7 _' N2 @: D0 i3 y$ W
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. * U# e: l, Y0 n# `! ^
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. ! a L. ], a" e& p; F' g, B3 d) Y
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: ^( ]1 ~# E' f: B8 `+ A0 HTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ! t$ F1 L- o0 G; ?5 p$ P# h* x( x
+ P6 A+ a' k8 z ]2 d1. You live in the centre of the universe.
" T0 b& U6 y3 u/ e2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. * `3 K, \' s, y* M! |
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. ! N* O& D2 {+ R$ Y2 \
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
, x8 z: X0 Y o7 p2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. $ v( }- {# f0 H/ P4 A+ G9 E, C& I
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. * I8 m! j; u0 i4 Y$ j
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *2 ^$ ~& I! N6 }, W P* J
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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! `% a: x: L' Y- \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
0 v i2 v0 e# F0 S0 P i$ R2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. $ O8 p8 `, r$ X6 h6 v
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
- ^8 I+ ~' r" e( i4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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% ?8 d9 ]" M3 X' M: l7 `1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
; T b' t& _0 k: d2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
& @' Y: L5 W3 d; e: t3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. : J4 E) P/ D% Y& I, T- `& z
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- ?, `8 k: W1 f# F3 k* PTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND - v8 ^- c, h8 B6 J
; v4 n8 G' x( K+ _" k' b. A, P1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 1 z5 u4 P x, U
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
0 m6 N- V3 z9 }6 Z% H3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. . Q" w$ N9 `: l6 @5 A5 ^: `6 g) w9 l
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 1 t7 r4 U0 c; W* [
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 2 M" T+ v+ n/ J4 G5 N
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 0 m9 o& [0 _& {4 |4 `* f! y5 l
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
$ e. n5 r, Y7 q2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
2 c. N0 T$ \* Q; n0 I7 i1 z3. The workday is about two hours long.
) d% t5 A0 G' W; r4 L* Q4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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