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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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/ m) p% {( d' k: M A) o) u3 p; s 1. Bring your own house.
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% F. y5 j% q* {( G. R2 t 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: O7 \4 \6 L" @! c$ Ycapital of Canada . t1 m/ [- u0 g8 |
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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* z; |5 \* }/ F+ T1 E# {7 B$ g 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. Z* S7 M! l* G* ^+ W
capital of Canada .5 B6 i' W t& _) U% i1 b) M P
h2 H0 k% _# l 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 h; d$ q" t, l# z$ b, m
$8.00/hour.) w' X/ L7 Z+ a6 e' d/ z7 P7 W! q
8 j+ W# g* K; K8 J 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 Z! E5 G+ T) {9 h9 K; i" h3 W
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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l6 |: T. H- p I, k8 \) p5 ] 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ b' z E0 n( `! X# {) I+ Aprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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& I, ], W# X1 F+ K ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come, O6 F! X V- t" ]7 F& u, D% J
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& [0 Z+ e' T3 d' x& \* m
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :+ f3 r$ {0 t F4 c& K
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., P4 J& m& {( t/ c5 z) N
% S8 y, Y$ n. W2 K" k2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
l# z: O7 t1 ?is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: }& ~; t' x( q# _$ ^- o& V
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 _3 |% w1 N/ ]$ i+ a* z. b4 S
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* Q" c/ F1 B1 Q% C, b2 c( [: Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 U/ _2 b7 ~- Z/ ~! m) K
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ O1 d2 n% D7 \" a' bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 e& i, M+ P, P- K( C4 N
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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* |: `1 e2 o$ w+ l6 [# @% s' d5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that B# N6 k X/ l9 Z. s: t" q8 Q
can get you shot.% L* ?$ K' j( p# W
4 y9 e M: }! b9 l6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 F# n/ B; i6 E7 D( B2 d% j" Z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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2 w& O4 c* z& H$ kmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% X# R9 \- U+ p B' E
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
f6 S- ]- r" x1 v: z$ dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 ]" X$ G1 b4 [4 C. t! u% w% Fthe same road.
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$ l$ b' A/ n0 B! |. L. T: P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, ~7 [! q& J1 R, }7 D# s* Z: Ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 P* C6 _1 k! C. K8 `& a, G
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km' D6 l' B2 k% L/ w- d/ |
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ l/ @2 G' z$ O& Q9 a4 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; ~/ Y/ b2 B4 t. f
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
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blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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