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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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; V/ r- P( `+ P' Z7 i K 1. Bring your own house. C0 v7 v* n) u4 P7 n% z8 y: z. `
6 y# t0 S( `: B9 I% g$ J 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 r& r3 y1 V# A _1 v
hospital.
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- l* `9 ?4 W) g6 v 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ H' X4 v0 q- Q% k7 w& |
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 @: {- G3 f( G. q
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ Q7 Q/ M* }# P2 w7 d7 c8 L& J
capital of Canada .2 m% ]. Q1 I0 O S7 t; P1 R4 E# v
% u( s! g& Y5 Y9 ~" m3 U- x- q' m1 T 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ m# P9 y g- c" I
$8.00/hour.5 B7 r* S/ f( o' T! a
+ R% ^6 U+ q1 y5 ^& T7 x9 L& R 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 E; }5 @0 T( ]5 }4 B# r" h! ]% v9 U
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( f8 q8 Q8 M5 b0 c( B2 \on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& { y/ d% }" c: j( I( vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% P; e0 v/ ^2 q3 v* e# G
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- X# W. ~. q2 K8 U$ T
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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% D; ^& w# y5 m( N3 U! q+ U8 K ~ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' Z6 Z9 F( ?9 T2 I1 f6 o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* d7 A, a" b5 F* t+ R2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 x* v( \# R0 N2 J# {- }
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( P! O3 O1 G% Q) _& D$ C
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 e$ D. V7 K$ \2 Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& K9 V; [$ Z3 K @0 {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 u3 ^2 r" ^; a/ D/ v2 Z) ^go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) x3 r6 V2 z7 _# q. q8 kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: x, ]- h- F; b7 N# y3 {; h8 d- z
% J& r4 ^- W/ ~7 J; p# M4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ U, I2 I _, m+ {" y- Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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) ]. V3 m" C1 I& d5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( V- _9 s: E( V% N9 Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( l1 ^( a9 A6 z' j+ e9 bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, \; i# e# @ [, C
more construction starts everyday.0 Z; I2 U+ a$ U# T/ z
6 c7 c9 i5 A* e- H. {* J4 L5 T 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: e4 [! v. t/ ~ z W
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 @0 S0 F! b" L4 O8 b1 q8 p$ L
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' _3 p7 ?/ j/ X& M" T9 z
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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4 {7 z, u1 Y( G. T; W+ `9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# F* P! e- Y. V& X. i; B) g
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; x$ k4 f) h2 x! D- z
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
; l2 T7 W: ?4 E1 U: g1 Fzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ l/ B& M5 n) u# v# B. k- w
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 X3 c0 G0 `7 B. E
1 u5 W9 g; B: B, Y6 _; Q I11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 V- W( ^1 O4 {7 R* n/ |( ~lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 {+ R! e/ V$ s) _0 q2 X. ~
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! r- W1 p9 b: e+ [, p- S7 F
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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