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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* R! @, h( `/ Q$ D1 c( D. C; m
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and U) w2 p e+ N; f) Z$ R
hospital.
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; c( x) y) k: E: x2 J9 `7 f 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" f- l, r" ?+ a2 [5 V) Ncapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( _; \5 a5 b. a+ N Scapital of Canada .) y- _7 H0 z2 [* B; `& ]
9 ?. q0 S/ Z9 R5 r% i; g 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is; |. \7 C% |- O) {0 c/ t
$8.00/hour.9 s2 Y% h [+ L9 b6 h
* R3 e2 P! H. e. Z& @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) Y* `: z- s2 o9 } \, ^9 m
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* t2 E7 z0 ?* {! O. J0 C
on a 15 year holiday ?
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6 c+ J* V0 p- S: a/ p 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas& f4 U m& c1 x: r% ^' p( C
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); S9 R! J6 l# t
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" x' L3 n7 A7 {: O! xhere sick.
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7 p& A0 s2 e# i0 g1 O% g11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, I# v F e2 m4 Y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( D. T) C; I) h5 {3 r2 u7 h
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5 U" K- y& N7 A% T2 b THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 k4 j% @( K( ?
2 v9 j$ [1 z; K9 ^* B0 W: N x1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- p' ^7 s5 R( j6 I r' u4 y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 b+ D* ]) p7 p! [: B$ D, D4 z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 n! @- e8 x9 ^; T% f1 }
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' Q' m, j$ W9 G4 A7 N( s7 z0 g" d
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 l8 w) r* ^! W/ x3 g1 W/ jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 V8 r2 i/ T7 O* T* {
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell4 I8 d+ Q' g% V& b# v
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& H- y$ I! B7 w8 C; G9 m0 q n5 Y
?3 l- R. A8 X( `( J/ B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 I+ m4 m9 F7 r) f9 N1 E3 Ecussed out, and possibly shot. ]# E$ M5 Y* A+ b' L
8 G5 R9 p7 x( R I' r5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that P8 }' R* ^' Q# G
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ i9 p" w6 n" o! U# y# Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' |- v/ d" S5 ~# Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 M7 N, |% U ]/ ^
more construction starts everyday.$ w% C- b5 ]. e& H+ S3 t: ^" o
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 e9 m+ E5 {' H- B* T, n W0 |deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: _- ]3 K! T9 x! ~
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: ^" B* U* p: I [
the same road.& k- [4 v, [# k- h! N' p: l9 B
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" ^3 A& u$ S; l/ D- }2 U
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally6 x& v ?1 w' |/ r4 i
activated."
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/ x5 ~. i! z2 l7 ]2 h2 J4 s10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 P, Z- l. |8 Y5 L L% qzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", W. b. D0 }: }: O) H6 ~5 ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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! k8 G" Q2 j7 E: j11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
2 j2 e8 Y# ]0 R% G1 u2 K! A* Elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, X0 s- K2 A# p. o$ o% c3 W) q5 F1 B5 Oblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ c2 B |" O. F' \) yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
