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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 h/ y; V" {# S. h# x, _) \ 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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: J5 ]& o! b8 p 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! L- u! F1 |$ i8 B1 D
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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' W! J- r# t+ \" z4 L, O: ^* R 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. M: C1 v5 G/ _1 S0 _, qcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 [0 S e$ M7 p9 L+ g( _# v
$8.00/hour.
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4 b# [ [4 F6 j 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.: u. L: p; f6 i6 g! m
5 H" m0 l" C" U2 S) T0 u5 h 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 s2 y5 J ^' P# e) z, |4 h
on a 15 year holiday ?
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?% |; \ D1 q5 J* t 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 a0 f: F$ g( W2 }/ k: @
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! s9 v8 G' g* ]4 e, H* @
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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% P3 C& F! ^0 B0 Q6 O11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
1 J3 X0 l7 ~: B( t @) K! G! [( Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1 D" b% p% |- O2 T1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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5 h6 P4 o3 F) O9 F# K+ X9 a9 c! y* I9 @2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# U% j* a3 J, s9 p' M9 W. uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 B$ Z8 S" S/ |- Y) o
8 p6 z5 z, q0 F$ ~3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 h: `6 h: Q( ~, H
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* l( o4 z; d; u6 ]
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 x) Q2 A# z2 B; d6 ^. x! @; M7 t- t
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 `3 g) u8 D; M' R& {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 u7 t' L1 V9 S
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# m# b) t8 i. P) O$ k# A/ \
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 Y$ [$ V6 C" H7 ~2 Y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 e V4 Y, p* b8 f' D
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" n2 n' z0 @- h: _( q. m
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday.5 E1 [# a3 k, I
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! ?' s* }* b5 R- G& b
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 U) ?+ s0 M3 u( y8 [# G osquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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) ]9 M8 h- L6 D6 I9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( m$ @" m+ m8 ]+ r" H
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km3 g6 v! H% y) ^! u& ^- p7 I+ [
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
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6 m. N9 Q! c, `. ?, C0 k6 a11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: u' A8 q" Z$ s- ?$ P; T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; G. F; x+ h1 X% l1 k
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 Q' ^0 {( B; y& n9 ~
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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