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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 D" x" t/ f/ F: s2 S& P5 [
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1. Bring your own house.9 _; L# f8 c& ]; V5 K9 F
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ T' {' x6 b$ [0 T: f& h5 y
hospital.: X2 Y+ x- W) |! ^; e
+ \/ I( e! J7 n: X1 t/ i& ?/ h 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 F6 t% d9 m. s( B8 a" N
capital of Canada .5 h* g( ]* _) p& [5 e
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 ~. J4 R; N' @9 J! u6 Y7 ?
/ v% D( d) O3 P4 I; G, p' y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" _$ t; {% ]/ ecapital of Canada ." E* i% _$ P* `- m( F5 B
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is' |1 x$ V, S7 s* L$ _
$8.00/hour.
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- k7 {0 k& O( C4 Y4 i# g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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2 F' [: t8 h! E5 \6 r, ?& H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
. ~" Q( S% Q( s' l/ [' @! ion a 15 year holiday ?
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6 X8 N& i7 J: W. u& R 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 }% ~3 [. k3 v. _9 G5 a1 iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ X) M. n" G$ [! ?$ ?. K0 I( ~, X
, T: B0 }7 F- t$ D6 Y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( N6 |: q. ]6 ]* M' r& i% zhere sick." Q# E, b* m9 k
0 {3 k' \8 u, U9 l% [4 D6 S8 |11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ ?# E4 t/ I! Byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 U4 g6 T, O) }9 E4 j
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 x# S% l2 d- Dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, a4 \2 h8 U/ j$ j) uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
q4 n, M( h: |- y) Bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* F! U$ I6 I, cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 N# x( e _' m+ ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* A. R T3 x1 v# M0 o O7 e
* o9 [/ Y8 t/ a/ T" C4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 N% s8 ~+ V* c' V
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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1 [2 w. @- ]; z- `* I5 F+ O5 c, @5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' q3 }" E3 y9 `8 P5 q% b- Ccan get you shot.) y' O6 P! p, `- Y# s1 b/ W% j9 x
& X+ h5 G, Y2 R6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' Z, E- A; {. |barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! ?! `5 I! s8 D2 Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 |9 M/ M2 E" \2 R' ?more construction starts everyday.
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* k/ x+ C# \ K+ G8 W9 P6 H/ S" ^/ K 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 k6 X9 Y7 X; J4 F. n7 L! S1 u3 Kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: m- j- y6 ]) b asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# d! H- B) v7 o3 `/ a, h
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* [: k3 [, k* Q; w" m4 ]the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( S, X- ?% K) P5 pshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
5 ?4 m7 R( Y B3 ~1 H7 `: W) sactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 ?0 x5 J. ]9 R+ qzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( d% O4 \) ], e% O( z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ L8 c. w: q& ?, P' |11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% b8 F! A3 u& G$ f9 C4 j4 ~& mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; L9 b/ C: G/ z. _8 lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is% W0 K# B2 H4 w2 c- \. l
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
