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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- D. k- x; t# C0 Y! {
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" o* p/ P% G6 G- e' r7 Dcapital of Canada .1 I) b% k$ N7 ^( d v
5 r9 R9 z! x) ~( r7 N4 b' k( Y1 i 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( s- v8 ~' p# _$ u' [* J) W$ Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
6 U% F4 t9 ]* ]% C" U1 Fcapital of Canada .
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" s7 _) J* S. p9 X 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% q0 [5 h$ G7 N- g/ H& Y
$8.00/hour.# j# {7 L" y* ?
8 R7 y3 `1 G/ e/ F* } 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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* w: S1 x9 A, Q2 a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 k! x. y$ R0 i. v4 [6 D; d
on a 15 year holiday ?5 e1 s+ d3 D4 |, W- A
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 @ T% H. w3 S
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 c9 L+ [& g/ N. w! P( j; G
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
9 g& f$ |3 q( Q( q) There sick.
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. y! S$ ^) Z' P, h& `) ?/ ~8 T11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ f5 f8 T8 ^* [( Hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., L6 { {" j+ O9 L
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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; B* z i4 }9 u3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* ~# U4 m M; E/ Zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ J5 Z- ^) ]$ j% E% ~
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) T" B+ }+ X! t( R5 t: |. ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 v* B: r8 o( T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.# s# U. g$ f4 s" c6 Q& R1 _* p
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 h6 n6 s! ~7 Ocussed out, and possibly shot.& [% x; _, s% }7 r1 d
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that* o9 j' w; _. q: r4 A9 x
can get you shot.
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h! Z0 D" q2 v+ Q$ M6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& ~) j; u" r6 o3 gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' i2 m* K" g# `5 Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 w& S, g6 Q1 e6 y1 O% p' \more construction starts everyday.1 m. W* I' B* \4 w6 c" Y- ~
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 @+ M" J& M6 @7 K! k* C; Kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 `8 B6 u( ~4 G# U9 S+ k n8 n$ o8 N3 Vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ X: X; o/ i/ g
" Y6 j4 L9 G5 M- v8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ d# T, I2 B8 @3 U, n
the same road.* j, V' k* W/ S. c! N: t5 @+ m
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
! b3 X1 u4 p" k) u# V! u$ dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 ~/ H& X ^- q, ]3 x# J
activated."/ F' h7 g1 v ?! \( N3 r
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 y8 @) W8 d+ q% @
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( `" [* q' \- z3 g- p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# \* v, M9 S0 c1 v3 g
+ C* @8 h2 i( M5 a* {! ]8 |0 w11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 g# |& e# A) C
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- @- }; C, i% e0 r" z5 p
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& Y. b! |+ W5 u5 w& S9 s8 i
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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