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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" h. G q( p# Z1 a0 ^
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+ t# @$ m! A4 T8 _+ P, w4 ?+ m 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- I" v# n" s4 i8 g# s' \
hospital.# e2 ^( o3 E8 Z! u4 x4 ~! ~, E
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
5 a. ?3 V. L+ {capital of Canada .
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; m5 z6 b, G' M: x 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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# M( J1 j: ~8 p9 q; @ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug% d$ i; l9 ]( E/ m( W0 A
capital of Canada .& e+ K; h/ [* t1 i
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 n' ?6 R2 J* H( {3 G$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( v' d# l3 {$ J* ^
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
I* W: h" g& l" J8 f' Mon a 15 year holiday ?3 C* `$ A0 H- i2 x
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 J2 z5 J7 N% g' z+ q) r: eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): F, [) |! ?+ \4 m/ K# j9 \% a
& ~9 X+ U4 \# Q6 f, a4 M% F" |10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! W% H% Y; J( T$ j) r( i9 E
here sick.
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- N/ b8 m' T, E11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 O! |4 O9 m0 a/ E& e( c+ h, u
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( I8 U$ U" e. Y% h9 H! Z1 S( T! J! }
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 y3 e P. a8 t: X8 V% z* f; s& v
/ x1 t. b, a$ k+ T$ Y" s1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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1 _, W0 O( K& z" n5 z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* Q) i- @* `: Q2 ~2 }* O7 F
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.. v. l/ ]; J: b. @6 o& i
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 s" K9 I3 X. X, g) q! Z: ?) M5 b
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: N4 X8 r$ q0 l0 o/ ?muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 @ n% Q8 O9 h6 I+ Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 V' K, F! J3 tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& d0 Y9 x! Z: |* o* v
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; B1 Y- u1 @" \cussed out, and possibly shot.
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9 [3 r x8 d1 K. G1 x3 P. ^3 l9 d5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
- l1 o7 }9 D( @+ ~; ncan get you shot.$ {1 k/ o! I# t) w' W( y
1 q* A% `7 W9 c6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, r3 X6 R/ T9 \ |9 C* n% ~6 lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 A* _+ F& s& mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% G$ g2 q. s2 M/ o. G. `0 A
more construction starts everyday.( _, d1 {3 i2 w9 \5 h, Q: D \5 S
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ {7 [6 L& i7 _% o7 y/ I
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* |. z) ^2 Q' D" X' t' Jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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! _9 X) ]! N5 G! g8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! ` Z. m8 A4 g. a$ y
the same road.% ]5 T2 h$ z! Y! f i+ B! p
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- K+ B5 r, `7 J( G; A& h$ nshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; m1 l! `3 m. g) w
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"9 {8 Q5 D3 N3 p! t! c/ D1 }/ s* h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ _* R! o$ r/ ]* f
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* Z4 @8 U( Y9 E$ Z% g# olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' x. S/ D6 r1 ~$ t* T( fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" q+ E6 \& h% M; @2 Q9 Y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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