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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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, m1 J; w* o0 E7 `' o) C/ w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 P2 G- J% J9 B/ t4 ^, c/ \
hospital./ R) X9 D$ h/ Q7 v5 I z9 u
1 l L! l# N2 J, u$ ` 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
$ {7 U) l5 P7 y9 e# @" h2 Mcapital of Canada .
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' {6 J% c4 |$ W" U1 a0 ? 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 x O% V. U4 h1 p4 R" Q
9 m: `* ^" _! `! ?7 H% Y3 R 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" j( ]# R/ ^% E
capital of Canada .+ K8 u, C! C. {' Y" Y0 I
2 }. |( e1 J# t! y& t) C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is0 h2 o" u$ x7 A: }: Y& N
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 ~0 I- I9 ~, M% ~& c/ J
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 p! o. E8 N% X; ]% S% P0 e5 E
on a 15 year holiday ?
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r2 Q0 Y- i. o# I6 n 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" `" h0 M; `" `) I) i' R9 vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* S) M z& A `7 J% u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
0 c- I/ O; f4 W9 [% Hhere sick.
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}0 S! x' R9 z3 s" @- l11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 R. g9 `' U6 r$ Nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; v N' x, F; h
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2 e& H# X" h7 v9 l' a THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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# _) J3 _* u8 X/ K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".4 @( n3 i6 f+ o+ O5 P/ w. u$ ^ R* B
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" S6 T( e9 N5 a
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 _* z, u1 B$ Z' u0 A' `, I
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: c4 B) {$ `: w2 _$ {3 Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
o& o: o) r+ ^) emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ i2 c# Z, E4 C. L
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, b, x8 G' T" y3 Uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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9 V( Y0 L6 M% |7 `4 P4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 F6 x% J, p" n& {8 K0 Gcussed out, and possibly shot.
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9 ]- H7 B( r! l) k5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
4 w( R8 q" ~+ M* z+ Qcan get you shot.$ C- F$ G$ i7 |( E7 d k
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. t1 r+ [5 e } R2 O
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! }* k) l* h) ]# j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% [, `9 ]% T% R2 D1 c
more construction starts everyday.- E7 r. d/ J& t: O$ K: b
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,7 g7 O3 q% k, ~' N* ]& {9 [
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& {8 P1 B* U+ p1 y6 B# i: Z$ p, f$ d
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: K3 Q7 H& } e- Z( R: Q! X7 |% Z+ U
. J% {% H2 q8 [$ W; `8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; X7 n! F; H! X: p
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# m0 }, \( O- v9 _. {; c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 y' o W& y# c9 Y" X& w
activated."; |8 m% i( U& `, B( `1 O2 A
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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8 Z( r0 ]- O, Z7 R* x5 X6 Qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 U* Y, \" p' c/ g: D
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur& c- R6 w; [/ b9 e4 J0 H
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 A& ?3 s8 \9 Sblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) }6 K4 }2 r! V1 S# h1 `virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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