请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
  l+ t/ x* }* m% `  T: J) rBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
9 t/ u4 L. n5 sHowever,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
! B  N7 G( W9 ^Thanks a lot!!!


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  V- J' c* g1 I& w  A$ z4 a) r" M
% M& D) d1 a- @/ r& t+ f8 rFormerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
  C5 @; c$ N1 _8 ?+ w              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
2 o7 C( K$ E: v9 [* K6 {7 N5 I# v              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
9 `# C/ {5 W7 X( e: j) Z              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
& Y0 _* n! m- G. B% F  M9 v" ~) LHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
& W$ t& L! M) K5 F, j- t             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
/ n( N8 t8 B8 n  Y$ h  l             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
             somehow I lost myself inside again
  ]0 e: X2 V: Z/ s7 D0 G0 K; w! HNow,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
& ^: `! t. q: o/ I. j  a4 w- I             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
: c0 a' p' N6 Q5 |Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
# Y; G* X, |! m# C4 K: J$ W               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
But........         
Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

( @: t* t: }+ r卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
2 y) M$ u6 T3 W% A6 c9 N7 k9 l' A& qSomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
( V" h$ |5 ~8 z& G8 ?Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

5 z. K9 ^4 x" i; E9 iSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
Somehow I lost myself inside it again

Somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Somehow I discern that I am still in love with you
/ l  v$ ~0 l4 S) `( l) A9 fSomehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
# N, \; k: c) N- |================================================
However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday
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+ F  m2 e$ R/ L* c; @% [8 Lsomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
( W2 c9 V4 P& q' w' }& [=====================================================================
. H! c* Z# X9 a8 z! I7 _: |somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？