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Why did God make mothers?6 l% K$ q2 q9 k
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
5 e# k: _9 z. w7 a2. Mostly to clean the house.
5 ]% }6 y7 w4 W, p6 r3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 2 ]# h3 c; U! }# w" d6 g8 d
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How did God make mothers? 4 ?9 C* m$ i+ I) k/ ?' N* f
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
. a5 Y$ m0 e3 u3 q2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
7 q8 s: L, {9 x( T4 {2 \4 `( U: h3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ? 1 d4 ]7 s4 K0 W6 B
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
* x) G: E! R; a6 U. i N- _2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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, Q$ K( f, y7 |: |Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
@ z( ~( G: `/ _- I8 b u* q' a1. We're related.
% ~* Q" \' o4 \3 d2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom? 6 T1 S# ~( B. r2 ]
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
$ v& h1 T+ _9 F9 ^2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 2 @, M T" ~6 u7 f- G7 ^/ Z2 ]+ ]
3. They say she used to be nice. 4 ?6 i- |/ p: O/ S j
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? % P$ ^7 p, ^" Q. E3 z1 B5 `& O" B$ J8 V
1. His last name.4 e3 o& J! W! T8 h6 f; i9 V5 Y( t) ^* m7 L
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?1 \/ c3 M1 s! @% Z4 _+ p- ~
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? - _/ K4 O1 q* p) O/ d: ~: X
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Why did your mom marry your dad? ! M- Q5 d: U/ v" T2 z/ S' V
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
1 Q c. Q u9 E3 _* Q' a2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
& A/ L& O- ]* n$ |4 q) E0 F* o: U3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. 1 |" X7 l+ _$ R9 H) F; V
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Who's the boss at your house?
" n3 m: q, x' l9 S1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 8 G+ H) Z5 g a
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
' A7 \6 _$ B$ b5 D3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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0 G: l# R9 p+ Z7 Y# j0 PWhat's the difference between moms & dads? L% Z- b+ r: X. G" M3 ~* K
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 7 K% @1 [" K& m8 }9 T5 u6 K+ |
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
. P+ `+ r# Y, k% F3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
0 ~2 s3 L; K/ X# M. k. S$ ~4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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7 u4 A0 u7 H2 `4 v5 j4 TWhat does your mom do in her spare time? ( b9 z) Z) T4 ]2 s) p
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
1 Z' J$ O+ Y5 K9 f% o2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect? & I" \+ ^0 O, @* m- f% @1 I
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.2 y( Y+ `( l5 ? Q9 s4 }) C
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? . u, L5 A9 c; S/ X; L
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
" r0 ]+ a7 D/ S, }! J4 I; |2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.; A% ^% }/ o! h6 R
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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