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Why did God make mothers?
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# f# l# D" a" e# n1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
( o5 g3 ?- ]! Z. z2. Mostly to clean the house.
# Z( R# ?2 w- h3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 3 r) ] O! P) x& a3 g& \, E
' \" A1 k! _- rHow did God make mothers? , X. n3 L9 M+ @0 u
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
' _% }, O! Q @ v; \- q2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
- e$ c: v) \( A7 R3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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0 [; N! s# R S. J: }What ingredients are mothers made of ?
6 V9 C- B5 I" }1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. % }+ x7 [8 h3 w! M9 Q. m2 [$ ~7 f
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 1 N- I) @% M) M( b$ \
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 9 {5 d& s$ D( D1 f, y' p' T
1. We're related.
6 n& I& B5 x' L2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 0 R+ R$ g0 s' [- ~% V! G
% d* w! V( }7 u1 iWhat kind of little girl was your mom?
1 Z6 ^4 s( o2 k6 B% t* w3 _; w1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
) b2 I7 D: S$ s+ R: \/ A1 J2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
$ |- H2 d1 f, {2 l# Q- l3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 9 B3 o# @$ \2 t; `0 K& U. p; z4 v4 U
1. His last name.
X( P5 V9 f$ R, G2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?* z7 Z! j" N+ Z; y: d" z! ?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
. {! T( e; n, s! U& `1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 9 |: i4 U7 W7 S# D: S# m) }
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
8 W1 v2 d' ?# u O* n3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. : g5 N5 R" e1 q6 d
) a1 ]. ~3 r9 o z; A$ p) E6 J% gWho's the boss at your house? 4 Z) P+ s9 }5 F% Z
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. - r* `, x& W0 K- j/ L( }
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
5 @. z6 ]; D& @3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ' G9 \6 a j. c1 C' f9 y
2 Y( b$ A8 n m1 B: [6 D2 {$ rWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
( S; G0 x9 F7 J9 L9 _# z1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ! w: r1 ~3 ^/ W! y! z
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.5 e b2 T- c; w7 v, L9 x
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 6 ~& t( ^/ ?- N% P# y* g# M
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. ! c- f8 r: d# v/ u
1 F! n3 H O7 U* p# f. bWhat does your mom do in her spare time? ( p7 O m% G) I
1. Mothers don't do spare time.8 O: c; S; m" ?, U- V o( u
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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( R3 h4 M3 I5 W6 p3 T) tWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
* G6 @; K5 y, f, }% y1 b1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
: O# \- J' y6 H0 r, [8 V/ Y2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
% w' I; v2 j1 }, z+ a* I1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 6 G( V( L4 w" }6 P3 d0 u# C* }& j" r
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.- \* f/ J- Z( Q+ Y3 t/ j7 Z% Z; u
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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