 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
( d" F6 v( X3 ?# c- a; y2. Mostly to clean the house. 4 v+ ^- h: i# V9 F
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers?
0 k$ P j; Y; O9 u1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
5 V3 J& F& b; \) R' D( e2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
* e5 Z/ B* _( b/ K6 P- k3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 6 c4 S. r/ t9 c W' [- F
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
6 w5 d" k. A) X) M1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. & n$ B" D# }, Z% Q# y( s8 R
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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' z% S$ v a, I7 }, r# ?/ m& kWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? , Y7 U( n2 \# W. f
1. We're related.
! x! m$ V3 ?7 ~) t2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 5 ]9 g2 u: G3 K* g
& C) _; p+ J% ~ S7 eWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 2 l& t) e& P5 v" Y
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
1 h& }* L L2 y2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
' W Y6 |$ h% _1 Y2 x- b+ Y; s3. They say she used to be nice. 6 o& |. }7 k' X# m- R
8 }! d* e8 T% D/ x9 _What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 6 b* O8 I- @' C: `" p
1. His last name.
& G: h" A* \3 ^8 d* z4 D0 T2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?! C% K, D" ~; e* `" ~+ ?5 r
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad? ! s F2 S5 u, d% C2 g
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 4 z' ]5 L$ p+ P# G
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
& u; X' `6 {" R9 q; A) a& v3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. * d% C, [0 i E( y! K7 e/ y
7 r* b8 Q- ^) tWho's the boss at your house? % C" g) @4 k( W% _
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. & N) Q8 ]+ i: R }! v0 P; H. s0 E6 n
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.( \ [; K* k4 z, }
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads? + i# o) V: E/ Q1 J) a9 ^* A' Z( B8 y
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 3 L. [# A$ T8 n
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.6 `$ ?* ^5 ^$ [0 s( P
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. * c$ D3 m& P: i% y/ z: f
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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" V" r0 J- R7 y! bWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
; `# D& j; d0 D1. Mothers don't do spare time.
8 u; d$ y. b) k9 c7 x! Q2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
- B, |/ C& O" Z( Q9 E( w1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery., g6 q# F4 \9 u6 O) z! c3 ~
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. & O/ x3 i4 ^% g3 e* x9 @* O k
3 o! X. J3 l: n! P( e( f! i/ M$ h! b: SIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
0 ]: g3 H: Y: S. |( ]. i0 Q1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
: N6 \7 x" T! }. F8 Y% V2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
4 }' ~( i/ e4 x( y v3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. # a) e9 F+ A( S" O9 J
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