 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' S: ?! x. }3 n. u1 \$ L. p x% y) @0 ~& }
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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* v; ] J- Y# J% O, f% HWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 K+ Z1 [1 a* r* t& ~
' X5 j6 S# r; W; W* o' B' ?9 L! q) ZIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* E, c* g( ~# s+ {' t, T) p9 s- i9 c
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' H" V/ }: Z' A' w3 Xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ' y$ ^9 w+ G" y4 J- H& Q
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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' l: @) `& \) e3 @+ L) fWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' A( s2 m/ l1 t3 L! u) n) T- [
5 R. v' O* ~0 z* xCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; t' b0 m! M: a$ ?/ ?8 c- p
9 }3 {/ k: T# g/ y1 l" `6 SWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& c. j. s5 H+ N0 r( F8 r0 GWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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" M2 n4 V+ Z( q' C- \5 m$ O3 ]8 A/ jRinse conditioner off hair.2 l% V ]6 O( L0 G. y1 s$ v: ~! \" D* b
& I# y& H1 M6 IShave armpits and legs.
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" {9 y; v( Z8 aTurn off shower.+ F- H' [: d A* V
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.6 z- B% m' D ?. w
0 l# y! x8 g7 F7 x0 E( zSpray mold spots with Tilex. / t/ t: z' a& B9 P" J; `" U% O
* g: R0 W! V2 j# w: EGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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) }0 ? A( H( r& c# [' aReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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% F9 z! i7 _* s/ C2 v bIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 x) i* W8 w L' M5 `
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.( W2 X: B5 n" t& b# P; j8 {
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 |, U. ?' y4 ^1 W
N0 z& `4 l9 [$ J" S) T# rLook at your manly physique in the mirror. . ^9 H0 i. E7 p. {' o1 e; M1 H, x. O
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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6 [9 |" `4 G3 z: m7 t; xGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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' G6 y0 A% w1 u7 S1 K! dBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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5 q; K. z& e+ A- @3 XSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 {; \& Z! g' m$ e4 s; Z
) g" _+ p9 L3 SWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 0 ]1 U7 A+ U, f' `
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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8 H8 @! G Z! ^: zRinse off and get out of shower. ( E2 t* `; \$ f
/ J+ F- H, D: N! ^. J$ d' cPartially dry off.
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`) q7 M7 O# r) R, f+ z" wFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 2 C7 l% ~& s, W
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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5 w/ W: \: b$ z6 f1 V6 H. }Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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