 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 1 D9 n7 p7 F/ n
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# V- r! j& S( u; Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. m( L- U# q0 ? u* M, {/ T$ eGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - ^2 g- I1 c$ x/ c8 S
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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+ F! i; `3 |2 ? lWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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" w& d. u" B+ S2 xCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 B# G- B7 q9 X1 R# S
0 b ^7 @7 g+ aWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 l3 R. ~: a% m; w5 |" G& f/ n
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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- o5 X0 ]! G9 y: g! }Rinse conditioner off hair.# @- @; o8 t$ [2 f0 f* X) ?
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Shave armpits and legs.
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. c" e9 l; A' A7 G. y$ M8 STurn off shower.
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, A8 @1 r8 ]0 u. u* }' v* g* iSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.. |7 K" h6 `) D( d3 ^' S
5 W7 E' _1 j/ L) P) rSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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3 H y; E% L* |$ X# G/ \Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . L# S, i7 v$ s+ y: J
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 k4 y( F5 o1 z2 O
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " o! d. _6 E2 e+ {* {5 G+ U
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( } r4 s5 O5 `HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' d. H5 b9 k- `) X2 N, B, r8 ]
2 @# H* I* h' J- e; M* Z9 V1 iWalk naked to the bathroom.9 e1 C- Z# m0 f+ |
8 A+ A. a8 z; z, n3 DIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 ]5 w* S2 \; O6 D6 r5 [9 t8 w
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % a; f) F8 G; G7 s" y
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 }: e: ]8 J/ w. | Z, D! J7 a
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 { t) \+ d/ E; n$ R7 y9 {- Y. z% ]
+ v4 C3 s5 _- W! p! P M( V9 {Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 0 }. p0 X- u2 E! V7 l- D; F
( Z* T0 D& U( ?9 g7 SWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. & W* B [& m8 B- w7 i6 g# _" n4 Z
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Pee. : X$ D; n0 P# J& L2 u9 O4 J
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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! s( R! n9 i' v( f6 s3 pPartially dry off.
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* r( Z8 h# V- \7 L1 MFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * ?" `: D6 a- f
" T7 b6 x! t6 e% ?Admire wiener size in mirror again. # S3 N2 A; T& {/ o M) s- J
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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/ v* i& D6 L2 E6 B! PReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " y2 k! v$ j" J. H3 F" | m. j
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Throw wet towel on bed. * h1 x; B- q+ Z% k K
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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