 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
0 I! s" h: x1 X
% f& d# \" D% n ]; l' M7 c8 a G, P+ W* @
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------, _2 r6 @; {5 `0 [* m
* I3 W3 v; j- A G' j+ O8 |. ]
1 U( @/ z! ?" Z2 b: w/ } + W+ `1 U. k2 p9 H: y* @, |
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
$ M+ e1 ~; F) p! l( r. g: t" j0 A7 ]8 x9 O4 d) E
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 7 F( @1 t7 h2 m6 k) E8 k$ J9 R0 d
5 U3 O. ~0 @! f7 f; e; t' V: K
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.' j7 |( l! r' k. S
+ C( ?3 r& g# kLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 p: T' M" `. q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
( B0 a. `( j' v1 [* n0 F
4 U& c5 r+ I- @0 Y2 ~7 tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
! W- s4 Y7 e4 w/ |7 s5 c* V& D# _; z# t* T) C: q
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
' a# |! ]7 y' d( v% _: }, z! x9 R
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
5 ~: Y% y% X6 ]$ S d
/ Z6 i# w/ f+ }+ X4 E! \- V6 n7 ^Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
; A2 E8 C2 y+ w* Z6 h* p0 V# s: L8 E' V3 \- ]2 l# b
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + p6 l8 ^" O7 c# l* F5 Q* L, f% I
$ V. p" {, {0 A. g9 {- x* `) IWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 N4 L6 ~$ q2 d* \) {
2 K' h& [$ I' f* N" K8 ZRinse conditioner off hair.
4 }: K& J0 P$ n6 K0 o0 E- a8 c1 k/ Z
/ v# ~- P& I, kShave armpits and legs.( H, E( l5 k3 I7 ~ h) X4 d* _
* C' F+ t! m T& X/ G
Turn off shower.
6 k r; D! E& [6 P% o3 ^
; Q: @! D# ~' n+ ]Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
$ u7 @) ?) U/ Z( |$ e( ^
. B6 B3 l4 i5 n7 F. R2 G- sSpray mold spots with Tilex. E5 x. n+ A. O @- @
2 q$ D7 j8 P# v: ~5 y
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
& N+ b" H* e. Q6 |' h# B1 }; S( ]2 u9 q/ I: K
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ! Z" _% ~5 s9 f2 c4 p( X5 t
0 s! ^9 d, u! A1 A
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
! M( ~% q+ ^! p- I3 C; ?4 f+ t) T5 u/ [2 u/ J# M( f4 @# e e
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
7 K" `+ i" H) t) o$ v$ J S( h0 Y
( H0 n @. N7 v
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & D/ Q8 @2 ^* [- N/ h1 I
2 ^4 N r: r. h0 ]) N( g/ M% nTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 K- K" ~) K4 h& ~ q9 A- h- j' I
) U- `' q* B p6 `- w1 ]6 B
Walk naked to the bathroom.
, A: f% K3 R+ z6 D) @( t" S
, [# P& W. h! ?& JIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
/ R( o' W5 G6 m( i, y4 T0 o$ Z3 `
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
) _% {) x. u3 v( Q8 }6 Y0 N! z2 b
1 S p; c, y& K X vAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
' C; c8 Z; c% S; z+ t
. o. X% J$ w8 m+ h0 o% ]4 ^Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
6 c; X/ }" O# c9 w- P6 G% I; ~$ O8 P5 v4 B0 W
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 I/ V ]$ n4 N" k" t6 S0 Y7 h
' @0 L0 S- m: S: m
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 y; b1 U" x/ a2 _; Q2 s
/ ~8 a! t! x0 n5 HSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
( |/ a9 C; N' y3 [( A8 Q: [3 Z- V$ s7 N1 R" i
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
7 [6 E3 q6 m, H; y. }& S/ b- W3 W. S0 O
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. : ^6 n, H# e6 Q
" {, V6 B+ I# LPee. 2 R Q! q* N# g4 l( S# F. J
/ @% D# H4 `) ~" ZRinse off and get out of shower.
: L7 p/ q" t; C# o! R% Q4 \+ H3 p1 @* [& d
Partially dry off.6 C" j; }2 P0 J# V+ b
/ y- F4 |5 e, h7 }1 v+ Y
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
. E$ U$ E O: A1 U9 T4 U% d( W3 J; J% N
Admire wiener size in mirror again. " u$ R5 ~) r8 j! U/ \
# O4 n3 j6 q- m8 X
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. * R( |1 }2 @' _/ j4 X9 z
' A* J) o. _. lReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
) q& }4 I) Q6 |, T
; s! H1 u" X/ i! a3 |Throw wet towel on bed.
: M, s+ b$ O0 c
, K/ Q% C; s; e0 C) KIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|