 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 7 X7 d* Y3 g2 T" \! [
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* G9 z9 Q2 I+ m7 {Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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8 d' a* O4 c: [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( C0 f* {5 C) T2 \Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
q# Y+ S% {! w3 B( emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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' y+ A9 }- u6 G, S+ b; aWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 9 ?9 W7 e( M$ p: [
* i6 I! A" U7 ?# l# L% K3 H u$ H1 tWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 v4 ~# s8 _& I8 B
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..4 Q1 G, C7 h" ]+ V6 g; P" X
" K4 i2 {. I7 }/ ^' }; BWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 N; N- O) ^3 p' L& F. u# j# [, J
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair./ I; r) ^' v+ ]: C
# V) {! U" X' V+ B1 Y/ e0 ~1 OShave armpits and legs.# L# ^8 N$ |1 r# `
7 i9 Q" T' Q+ ]5 Y. |5 `Turn off shower.
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* s' x) g! q# p% P; fSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.8 `) S/ |2 y1 h# g$ O
* Y- j0 K8 H4 h" W3 cSpray mold spots with Tilex. / l- g5 m( X% \3 e7 u% w
6 @) B, j( b% rGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. / J: @: W* x, a1 [
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 e* H; w9 E/ e( T4 d# r( l
7 J# L6 b% k6 \; f- A- D5 ?% pReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 1 ^& r0 C# Q" q' {' |! U/ T
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , C7 F r9 \$ i# G
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 2 {, ]# B4 S+ u0 A/ ~
% b4 E' [& y$ u2 |+ Q. DTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. & i4 `: Y+ [+ {) u* O2 b1 u2 R
. m' K4 i$ R+ F2 h, }# UWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' e& [& h! l* Q, q2 M- w
+ e N( P& s- q9 K+ E8 QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. - L% M8 s& U* ~6 f2 w9 ~" A
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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( c+ @# w! @. m5 a9 }2 b% pBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 y6 Z* Z4 d" Z5 b0 \
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ! I" x$ G6 C8 R) V+ D/ s
0 b1 _+ T# h$ c4 mSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 ^5 j3 s+ K/ T' G. \; D
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ! m% R- {# d% h% S5 r8 C5 I
0 X1 h# }$ L8 J0 }: g" KWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. & G9 ^+ }# E3 W4 S
6 k5 B8 U/ u+ @* l' L" n( `8 m- z( ~Rinse off and get out of shower. ( i5 e/ ?9 k% D5 I% P* \! P
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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: B4 Y3 L r, s: qLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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% T3 c- r5 Y0 @1 e6 \! lReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ( G$ {7 W0 `: I2 J
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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