Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:

) [6 _1 J1 x; k+ o! s( t1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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; L8 a% c+ |4 U) l/ U3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

$ G( d- P* e5 l' p5 |4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

% k0 [# y. v6 c& M- m5. Are You Andy or Barney?

$ G1 U8 i& X. i3 \/ I& D. U$ D6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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: D9 k/ E; g6 y/ A  r7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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0 B! d  t9 R; t% j! c% S8 I8. I pay your salary!

, f) O& K) x+ v0 G# M9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"