Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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. Z" M$ A5 ^1 J! V& ~1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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' ~" Y9 j# S$ ?5 M4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

$ M9 H8 E/ v1 E' Z& w/ s5 s; a/ b& K6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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2 c7 l5 R0 R! j% B0 c7 d$ u8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

" T, y8 p/ M* e$ q' g: `10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"