Can you control yourself?

billzhao · 发表于 2008-9-21 21:50

Bill Zhao believes that if a person can control himslef, there will be nothing that he cannot conquer. The problem is that there are so many temptations in this fascinating world, it is really very difficult for a common man to be 100% self-diciplined. In order for us to know more about self regulation and will power, I did some research on self control.

Self control is perceived in a few ways. One of which is philosophical and might be described as the exertion of one's own will on one's personal self - his behaviors, actions, thought processes. Much of this comes from the perception of self and the ability to set up boundaries for that self. Self-control can be expanded into several different areas, ranging from respect to willpower. Self-control is therefore centered in the ability of a person to exert their will over the inhibitions of their body or self.

People demonstrate great differences in the level of self-control. It can be affected because of illness and past experiences and it can be improved through the course of life. Many religions have teachings about self control. In the Christian context, Paul describes self control in the epistle to the Galatians (5:22-23), as one of the fruits of the Spirit. In the epistle addressed to Titus (2:5-6) he instructs to 'Urge the younger men to be self controlled.' The Apostle Peter describes an increase in self control as fundamental to the salvation of a Christian (2 Peter 1:5-8).
"A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls" (Proverbs 25:28).

Most of the research in the field of self control assumes that self control is in general better than impulsiveness. More recently some in the field of developmental psychology have begun to think of self control in a more complicated way that takes into account that sometimes impulsiveness is the more adaptive response. In their view, a normal individual should have the capacity to be either impulsive or controlled depending on which is the most adaptive.

According to Logue, it is possible to examine the differences between individuals development of self-control by examining it as a function of culture. In the United States, there appear to be strong tendencies for self-control and impulsivity. Western societies typically describe self control as, “goal-oriented productivity, assertiveness and instrumental doing”. Louge (1995) further states that, “self-control and resistance to temptation has long been part of Americans’ Judeo-Christian heritage. However, in recent decades, there has been concern that this early emphasis on self control may be dissipating”. In Japanese culture, individual gratification is valued much less than is advancement of the fortunes of the group. This requires individuals to set aside their personal interests in order to work for the long-term goals of society.

In B.F. Skinner's Science and Human Behavior he provides nine categories of self control methods.

1. Physical Restraint and physical aid
The manipulation of the environment to make some response easier to physically execute and others physically more difficult illustrates this principle. Clapping one's hand over your own mouth, placing your hands in your pockets to prevent fidgeting, using a 'bridge' hand position to steady a pool shot all represent physical methods to affect behavior.

2. Changing the stimulus
Manipulating the occasion for behavior may change behavior as well. Removing distractions that induce undesired actions or adding a prompt to induce it are examples. Hiding temptation and reminders are two more.

3. Depriving and satiating
One may manipulate one's own behavior by affecting states of deprivation or satiation. By skipping a meal before a free dinner one may more effectively capitalize on the free meal. By eating a healthy snack beforehand the temptation to eat free "junk food" is reduced.

4. Manipulating emotional conditions
Going for a 'change of scene' may remove emotional stimuli, as may rehearsing injustice to motivate a strong response later.

5. Using aversive stimulation
Setting an alarm clock to awake ourselves later is a form of aversive control. By doing this we arrange something that will only be escapable by awakening ourselves.

6. Drugs
The use of self-administered drugs allows us to simulate changes in our conditioning history. The ingestion of caffeine allows us to simulate a state of wakefulness which may be useful for various reasons.

7. Operant conditioning
The use of a token economy, or other methods or techniques unique to operant conditioning may be seen as a special form of self-control.

8. Punishment
Self-punishment of responses would include the arranging of punishment contingent upon undesired responses. This might be seen in the behavior of whipping oneself which some monks and religious persons do. This is different from aversive stimulation in that, for example, the alarm clock generates escape from the alarm, while self-punishment presents stimulation after the fact to reduce the probability of future behavior.

9. "Doing something else"
Skinner notes that Jesus exemplified this principle in loving his enemies. When we are filled with rage or hatred we might control ourselves by 'doing something else' or more specifically something that is incompatible with our response. When we give three miles of service to someone who compels us one, or submit tenderly a cheek after the other is slapped, we may find ourselves less enraged and so able to control our responses.

billzhao · 发表于 2008-9-21 21:55

Have you ever angrily stuffed the last doughnut down your throat? Have you ever failed a test in school because playing games is much more important than studying? By following these simple steps, one can build, strengthen, and maintain one's self-control.

Analyze your life. See which areas are suffering and which are prospering. If you are failing all of your classes in school, you might need to study! If you are gaining weight at an alarming rate, you may need to sacrifice a few candy bars. You may be pushing yourself too hard. Take breaks over the weekends, even if you are doing wasteful things.

Analyze the area in which you are lacking control. If your grades are plummeting, recognize that your study life plays an integral part in the grading system. Read books or articles about the area you are having difficulty with. Becoming informed makes it much easier to make the right decision when you're tempted to overdo something. For example, if you want to lose weight, taking the time to read about nutrition and healthy dieting will naturally motivate you and make eating right much more enjoyable. In terms of gaining self control, knowledge really is power!

Act on your analysis. By this time, you have recognized that you are failing school. You have delved further into the problem and noticed that you spend much of your free time doing things other than study or homework. In order to build self-control, you must practice self-denial. Challenge yourself to break your destructive habits. Challenge others to challenge you to break your habits. Lack of study? Tell your mother, father, brother, sister, friend, anyone, to order you to get off your computer after 10 minutes. Gaining weight? Give half of your lunch to your coworker everyday.

Stay accountable to someone i.e someone to ask you if you've gotten on the treadmill today. This is a great use for kids.

Analyze your action. Still gaining weight even after making proper diet changes? Try exercising or consulting a doctor. Your grades aren't improving? Try listening in class and reviewing work every other day.

Tips

In order to build self-control, you must deny yourself. Practice giving away things. Give away gifts that you receive; be creative.

Make self-denial a habit and not just a trend. If you intend to truly change yourself, you must make these steps a constant guide for the rest of your life. Even though you may feel righteous for sharing your lunch or doing your homework for a week, if you lapse back into your bad habits, all of your hard work has been in vain.

Possess a strong will and still have self-control problems? Instead of removing the subject of your desire from your presence, deliberately challenge yourself with this subject. Have an addiction to television? Turn on the television and avert your eyes and watch a shelf or a book for two hours. Not only will you gain a stronger will, but you will also feel the strength of your addiction begin to fade.

You may find research into such concepts as Neuro-linguistic Programming beneficial, as these tools can be used to affect strengths of addictions and other problems in your mind.

Never punish yourself for the lack of control. You will only feed the power of your lack of self control.

Self-control cannot be compartmentalized; don’t think you can be self-controlled in your use of the computer and not in your TV watching. You need to practice discipline in all areas of your life. Do this by paying attention to details in all areas of life; if your room is dirty, clean it, if a picture is crooked, straighten it. Soon you will see your effort in one area spill over to others.

billzhao · 发表于 2008-9-21 22:00

Self-respect is the root of discipline:  The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.  ~Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Insecurity of Freedom: Essays on Human Existence, 1967

Not being able to govern events, I govern myself, and apply myself to them, if they will not apply themselves to me.  ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays, 1588

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.  ~Bob Moawad

I have been my own disciple and my own master.  And I have been a good disciple but a bad master.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

All men are tempted.  There is no man that lives that can't be broken down, provided it is the right temptation, put in the right spot.  ~Henry Ward Beecher, Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit, 1887

The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center.  So does a person.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.  ~Lane Olinghouse

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.  ~Buddha

Being out of control is one of the worst feelings in the world, sometimes even worse than pain.  It is its own kind of pain.  ~Danzae Pace

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.  ~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

You must admit you have self-control before you can use it.  ~Carrie Latet

What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.  ~Franklin P. Jones

Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation?  I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.  ~Oscar Wilde

It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.  ~Mick Jagger

I bid you conquer in your warfare against your four great enemies, the world, the devil, the flesh, and above all, that obstinate and perverse self-will, unaided by which the other three would be comparatively powerless.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

I am,
indeed,
a king,
because I know how
to rule myself.
~Pietro Aretino, 10 May 1537

If we resist our passions, it is more because of their weakness than because of our strength.  ~François, duc de La Rochefoucauld

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

The first attribute that characterizes the greater man from the moron is his thicker layer of inhibition.  ~Martin H. Fischer

Heaven is on the other side of that feeling you get when you're sitting on the couch and you get up and make a triple-decker sandwich.  It's on the other side of that, when you don't make the sandwich.  It's about sacrifice.... It's about giving up the things that basically keep you from feeling.  That's what I believe, anyway.  I'm always asking, "What am I going to give up next?"  Because I want to feel.  ~Jim Carrey, from a Michael Fleming interview in the March 2004 issue of Playboy magazine

An element of abstention, of restraint, must enter into all finer joys.  ~Vida D. Scudder

Conscience whispers, but interest screams aloud.  ~J. Petit-Senn

Not using faults does not mean that one does not have them.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.  ~Korman's Law

Who is fit to govern others?
He who governs himself.
You might as well have said: nobody.
~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

There is no allurement or enticement, actual or imaginary, which a well-disciplined mind may not surmount.  The wish to resist more than half accomplishes the object.  ~Charlotte Dacre, The Passions, 1811

Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.  ~Robert Orben

Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation than a proper bringing-up, a sound set of values - and witnesses.  ~Franklin P. Jones

About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation.  ~Tom Wilson

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.  ~Mark Twain

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.  ~Thomas Jefferson

We like slipping, but not falling; our real anxiety is to be tempted enough.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.  ~Benjamin Franklin

A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means.  This is an obvious lie.  Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is....  A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later.  That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness.  They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.  ~C.S. Lewis

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.  ~Author Unknown

You are a puppet, but in the hands of the infinite, which may be your own.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

莫迭儿 · 发表于 2008-9-30 00:43

sweetspot · 发表于 2008-10-2 01:02

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