The Blonde and the Blinker

billzhao

Two blondes were driving down the road.

$ O1 V! g0 T, B1 |3 B, rThe blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

注：
blinker      /ˈblɪŋkər/
1. a device for flashing light signals.  
2. a light that flashes intermittently, esp. one that serves as a traffic signal.

[ 本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2008-10-5 23:26 编辑 ]

billzhao

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"

; E+ d# e- M! s7 X; M"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."

"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were."
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/ q+ n& ?2 e/ g0 u, }- @9 `Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.

0 q7 ~! i6 H, ~& y) PThe husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"

billzhao

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
6 e8 M: M7 E; G  i1 p6 NAfter the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
$ P7 N$ O1 s# Q2 c. |) r2 N, ?* D" l7 O
2 D1 U2 ?/ A: r* N( UIn the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
8 B7 n: w0 L! i0 o: w, Y9 d0 F; i+ R
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
6 P  T8 }: u: `% F# F6 Y
8 P" i! B0 N& s# F' a/ yThe woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
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"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

billzhao

One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, ''Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!''

''I know!'' the next woman says, ''Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house but when I called he wasn't there.''
, L9 o& b. ^. X3 Q
3 m! W; ~7 y& |4 L, f6 o; T The third woman says, ''I always know where my husband is.''
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''Impossible!'' both women say, ''He has you completely fooled!''
$ G7 z) y# J7 Q1 T0 K0 u
''Oh no,'' says the woman. ''I'm a widow.''

billzhao

Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.
% U" s6 ]$ S2 J. w1 f
4 K% I# b  }9 Q) J/ uThe suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!


9 \+ e+ b! {7 E" j6 [注：
2 r/ W7 Q1 A" G& c2 H" f  @; rviagra  
, \$ j8 u! t( O2 `# r3 H# f, _virility drug (trade name Viagra) used to treat erectile dysfunction in men
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2 \4 @5 D# b* L' o9 V( I[ 本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2008-10-5 23:28 编辑 ]

billzhao

A cop pulls over a guy.
$ w8 v! y0 H" H9 c& H' J7 I"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
0 m2 D4 Q, I9 Y& k& b"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"

- [7 Z" S9 ^; [2 e! f0 y$ o+ R注：
glaze：(noun) A thin, smooth, shiny coating.
" }; \) `/ F" H8 x, c, F# w6 f       (verb) To apply a glaze to. eg: to glaze a doughnut.

glaze over  
5 p1 Q) X1 ?8 G+ d) Y( c1.  become glassy; lose clear vision; "Her eyes glazed over from lack of sleep"   
2.  become glassy or take on a glass-like appearance; "Her eyes glaze over when she is bored"

[ 本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2008-10-5 23:22 编辑 ]

Sunnyman

Hi BillZhao,
6 Y: o* L3 ^- H5 m9 h9 L' @Where you got so many funny stuff?
" E- B/ E; w+ q* AI am not the guy good at imagine, lot of them I still can't understand, such as the coconut tree.

billzhao

原帖由 Sunnyman 于 2008-10-6 08:46 发表
Hi BillZhao,
/ Y5 a8 M1 P* e6 TWhere you got so many funny stuff?
1 W5 @9 ~* ?/ U3 ?7 y/ YI am not the guy good at imagine, lot of them I still can't understand, such as the coconut tree.

( W# V# N' X7 [1 B0 R  aJust from the internet, which has tons them. What I chose and posted here are the jokes which made me laugh. It is very hard for second language learners to understand every humor in this language. But I believe it helpful for our English level and some fun to read them.

As for the coconut tree joke, you should be able to get it if you are interested in affairs or stories about them. The young wife and the handsome sailor want to make love, but they do not have the chance. So the clever sailor cheated the husband away in order to have the chance.

Sunnyman

原帖由 billzhao 于 2008-10-6 13:52 发表


% K* y  H/ L: ?( L
6 i& w. b0 q' M. g2 N& I2 }$ gJust from the internet, which has tons them. What I chose and posted here are the jokes which made me laugh. It is very hard for second language learners to understand every humor in this langua ...

" ~2 V7 t; l# z& JHaha!
* C, T3 d7 L" U1 u6 \" G" SI never think it in this way.
You are smart guy I believe!