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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a; F& s* H/ Y/ Z# L, ^- ?
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb& I0 M5 ]3 w/ D5 H/ A
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
# }* z& |' b2 v4 Sthe newfie would like to play a fun game.
0 s* _& u. o+ I" ~, j  u  
4 V1 D( L8 P& A/ q  A The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
4 B2 M1 Z9 U1 I! r  y0 o he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The
- y0 J# j( h, T1 @5 H1 j: c$ V( L; b lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I
. l: \% ^  z: v. _# M% v, [" H& Sask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,5 s( p$ G* ^* G& m  T4 o
you pay me only $5. * H: Z4 g5 E7 Z* u

  N& k- J& d% b% P- m You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
$ T7 Y; D3 t& z# \/ h will pay you $500. : c: v6 M* f' `5 q! g2 u
: P* N- q$ R/ q/ M4 a: j0 e$ P
This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
0 P1 Z* ~; X0 G2 y' D1 r4 y4 [the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. ! ]6 [; y! |& U, \% `6 z! w" w

. M4 K" K4 z( L$ x8 i5 T: tThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
2 [& L& c( A+ ?6 v( |4 _the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' - b4 s9 H3 ?" ^3 E- h
! z2 {& P+ x- t9 t% q' c
The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
! z; D. D1 B% r! O, @pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the5 g2 J8 b- _  X4 z9 I# {. |# N, L
lawyer.
4 X, V+ z9 v: C6 g* K2 A5 m* c9 n1 O$ V8 a
Now, it's the newfie's turn.: [. A, K% u# H5 H: Y
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He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
7 p( c0 e4 G+ \& }+ i4 s8 sthree legs, and comes down with four?' 7 F1 W% k. v) d& Z+ |

! U8 h( A2 i- z+ n" w% ]) I$ N# |The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all* K, F! z4 Z: d: y$ D2 z
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all$ `6 w& N7 @& u! Y
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour9 Z! @8 h- W9 {- B0 O) _% r0 I
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
$ K' ?/ z3 q7 X5 k0 ~9 s6 ~3 vhands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
3 S* o3 ^$ J5 l/ S5 sback to sleep.
2 v# J$ a+ H- t5 X( c0 z, I
. R4 @( P2 @6 c* Y$ kThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He0 o1 b/ Z8 B4 z- N
wakes the newfie up and asks,
, j5 Z' N' [& a* c0 E! p1 P' ~* R- F* h# r5 r( t! S& _
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and6 I# }" q! j; K5 D8 Q( Y
comes down with four?'
$ v5 P/ v3 W6 G& l' T1 v" p
5 V+ n' N9 v: c+ y  v/ vThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
% X) B, |, t% N. }1 g7 x% yand goes back to sleep.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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: _0 ^, s9 N& s+ wLawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the2 a8 \1 {. g' ~& B. s2 M; e

2 I1 x7 s+ _9 s- X/ g* r4 g>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two ! l$ M, @6 w  ~% @6 m; d3 C& f+ r4 K
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason : g- `0 Q4 T1 s& J* w  X+ F
>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
% P% u5 k( }3 x, K% I# ^9 `5 `>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, ) e% y4 D- _! b0 o. Q9 X5 c. C
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct, _3 M; [* W2 C
0 U5 C: K) ~" ?# }( T9 X
>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research   ]- |: Q' s- `* [8 |7 N
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a 4 ?9 R  e  j1 F8 l" \7 }  G, q
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more - U1 n" {0 Z, h
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, 3 V, ]1 I: B5 i
>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three- g4 p% i( c  g4 ^+ q+ \' X5 N

0 r  W6 W0 m/ D% r3 [>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's : ]% @; H" d2 j6 o
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the 2 m2 Y5 B5 a* r
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand ! W$ k0 I/ k5 c/ ?& q2 F5 R  z, N
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
7 I2 A* q3 d5 V* b0 |' c+ LA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a( C* O: f5 b( W5 k
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
9 b- S# Y  W, \/ Zthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
  W' @6 j% E1 L) r. Tthe newfie would l ...

) [4 t5 r3 M3 t! a) ~7 O# D; A6 P& n7 ]+ x
/ n7 x) }9 {, C* X4 W6 d& I
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
( _' ?- T$ q, e* D5 Z9 ?9 \) O“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
2 U( f9 Q0 c/ w8 T% U好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 ) v3 U/ v0 d, ~8 @7 I+ r7 O
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

$ v& W3 N: }0 X- n7 ?! E真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
2 C1 h! q+ W  O- N
, [* }4 c! \+ e  d1 \; H
2 ^; m+ W  k* ^6 x; B- o6 B9 H( z; G1 Z
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
5 d2 }0 k5 `. x* {“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
7 j0 N: J5 S+ g- P* y; r" _好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
% [/ [: t# g3 B
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 ( G1 N4 ~- S+ J8 W

3 ?& S% E5 q! P* `! [* O, J真聪明,偶像啊

6 b- o% Q: Y" w6 n0 F, x) h. N4 G( Q! k( S, q) V
全盘接受一下。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 + ^" B7 C! Q6 G: ]" V# t
9 ?$ ]7 e( {+ j. i) X" m
3 }+ q9 _/ e7 b5 W; v, T! ~0 v* ?
全盘接受一下。

) N+ i# I7 {1 |& p: a" g2 L真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
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7 G/ O/ H, d2 F# R$ S真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
* D6 g3 ^( v1 q, i8 J

5 ]9 }( |3 a9 P" p  I1 s; E0 V& g- S9 r
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 ! J8 H4 f6 u0 f: m5 v
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. B7 D+ L6 B8 ?, h8 j
' s9 ~! c. l9 C4 k8 g
别把我往坏路上领啊。
! {0 W# ^. ?" ]) @: }
你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 ) R0 I3 z8 I/ s% `2 h! E: j6 v* ^# u2 a7 n
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
5 |6 J* f5 @3 F: u) C. `  g# I+ z
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
) U7 q9 l5 ~7 W8 v9 F8 N/ E- y8 Z# m, I# E  k  H/ }& T$ X* S$ u6 c
真博学,偶像啊。

! z$ z0 f4 n& ]! a9 N大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 ; F- Z" Z/ J: Y
6 F# F7 R5 M  S5 H3 j; P: i8 S5 Y3 u) r4 l
大学教授哦,能不剥削?

# m; O+ H5 m. N# a3 {( |她是大学教瘦?
' J3 L' V1 P9 r9 [' d; Y- u大学教胖还差不多
  l5 t( M) ~) c" l. v她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
7 D) E; x! j3 u1 _紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
. H* {% E- r- t2 |! n
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
大型搬家
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 . T' M5 b# w# a. x; S. R
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
; `" D( z( u# [) ]( c
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哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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