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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
: }% D/ _; d" Elong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
3 Y. F$ ]1 j8 k; |0 [7 W) a) fthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if$ V; g, U1 h- [: c, r  j
the newfie would like to play a fun game.
7 T* u9 ^+ d% P, s2 |! D  
( R4 r7 L2 U# Q7 ? The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
9 M( Y2 {, H6 x+ l* Z he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The+ U' _* R9 z0 d6 O* m/ L1 }- ?" g
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I
8 `4 Q& P9 k8 w# H) b& lask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,1 O% _* ^2 t! }4 Z- U5 O4 m
you pay me only $5. : H7 j' \: D! Y- m# W. e' h
+ w- B) X5 h/ Y5 v7 w  z5 D# z
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I3 k/ o0 l, h+ M( Y8 y' G
will pay you $500. 2 p) c  i2 t1 M: W
& I+ b# a% r) p# p4 \' I. b
This catches the newfie's attention and to keep8 p2 `- X. b) Z6 [+ ?  [% F
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
* q9 b  r/ Q( O0 D$ ~, k/ ]
: K$ x: c  I9 \( |5 c# l( J6 G! @# SThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
8 m5 Y+ t4 P+ Z; P$ Lthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
+ f0 I! s; A% f# a
5 t( o" g+ @6 a  b  f- AThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
; y' Y5 F! f+ d) Hpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the- F- M  R3 A' \1 E1 z
lawyer. # C5 P' A9 e0 v  [2 \" p; i3 ]4 N
6 }& R+ z& @( W3 j) g9 `0 U
Now, it's the newfie's turn.
. C* C& v( X  @, C9 A
+ F0 l3 E! w) D6 i( H3 p2 E" JHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
9 N4 x' d: c: d. {: N; vthree legs, and comes down with four?' - k: f9 V5 q; H6 i
' _) u1 \7 q. B
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
* j1 i$ H3 L$ N. ?references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
( I9 Z# d  i8 R' [the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour
# j3 P7 q# K$ Uof searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and' C3 ^4 L, c: f" T( _4 k
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
  s% x: z8 n# o2 p5 k! [4 @back to sleep.
0 W; J5 |3 _3 v% L0 [' y/ |: e+ X0 v' o3 L- E9 _  \/ c
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He/ d0 p1 I% {& O& v: s( P; B
wakes the newfie up and asks, $ ]! @+ ^& f! Z+ p' A+ _: M
& P: U8 x, `1 _& H
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and; p7 T$ T0 s. `# U' [/ t4 i5 h6 D' N$ A
comes down with four?' * ~3 `' M! d1 m( o

0 C9 s: p/ B( o# RThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
4 z: F7 i+ F6 Z7 I/ Gand goes back to sleep.$ f. k1 ~7 w. E3 ?3 h& m
7 {- ?7 r/ H$ }+ s! s
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the) T. J7 v) k1 ~) o
5 |% B' ~& R: R4 k! P2 g
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two 2 ~; Z1 V7 H9 k7 a# ^4 ~. q
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
7 l! ~4 Q& _1 v. U! h& q>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
& w7 W! J( O/ u0 h# y3 N" P* E>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
/ H/ {" H. K% i# y0 f* B9 I! ~, k: Z>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct* F3 a! @+ [: Z2 ?& ~2 E7 P

* t/ X) a; k3 Z( M, t9 [3 G>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
' _7 ]% W. D: ]2 w2 o+ b- Q>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a ) V8 ?& N# B& E% y; h
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
0 a3 S0 @% {9 ]$ o$ X, ^% P>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
$ L2 J* ]! ~( n2 K/ x& Z( S3 T. L>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three+ e- w0 y- ?; ^1 A" H: T

4 k$ C& G3 l5 x; x. m. l>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's ; _  Y  ?' ^: D0 v& Z& q
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
3 n: @. K4 ]; ~! D2 K. E, F5 c" z7 f>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand # L9 d4 |( T/ ?
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
; ]5 t7 T* }( e+ b( f% D* f5 |6 r7 k; hA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a- I+ [& {& P* {& h: @' B8 ?4 C
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb" g# c, M7 D* _2 _8 U# M5 l# d
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
+ z/ j: J: {. Pthe newfie would l ...
  P% t% H1 I) v: ]( d# A) }

! i; R! l# p2 @6 F+ d! H$ J( ]- O7 Z+ S6 @2 ^. x+ T% [
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:# x& u5 t/ j; }$ s; Y
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
6 r6 U* i5 R- F$ i1 c: |8 H* S0 l好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
- @7 \! U8 b1 m# l+ E' v加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
5 }1 _3 X# e: D0 G2 M; H
真博学,偶像啊。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 ' |9 |* V, y% Z+ A
# {) O/ a5 q+ Q! ]' {8 J  d; P
& O! p7 m4 H$ l
5 e4 I( V4 D5 c8 V: E
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
' G$ |. F4 b- T“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,. p6 p0 w2 ]% H6 {
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

7 ]5 ]% n) U. T% t( D/ `( M1 L真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
7 A% H2 \$ }9 r1 ?; U& a
3 F$ _8 \/ S5 Q真聪明,偶像啊
1 B) d! c6 D" X) L

4 S& A$ u: u0 w" p2 ^) T全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 + `3 ^! q; N6 I5 j2 |

6 l9 ]# c" X3 Y$ ]% M+ m& a! i9 P! ^& u- P- `8 K
全盘接受一下。

6 _# B, ~  k$ y2 v. F) p1 U6 K真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
$ e  R. i/ o# i5 D% i+ T1 V! }" m9 S6 T; l! U
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

7 G1 A7 N$ R( [8 Y/ b+ C2 U3 |: n" ^+ K, }

8 w& t9 n! T# W: }6 v8 r6 d5 e别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 7 y/ g! p+ Q2 e

3 `/ E& |3 X& i7 |. H3 ?8 ^+ ^( N( @# U1 w2 z& E

% Q, u- m% |5 Z$ U8 x8 y别把我往坏路上领啊。

8 _/ W4 P. s" z' a& V你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 7 ?* E, o/ U+ ]2 J. h* Y
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

4 l: N$ @2 r; X2 r多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
) H- h" C" |; ]" U' H; z" c
6 M! x. p2 e" R' Y: C  N真博学,偶像啊。
3 S5 ?8 s  I# T( g% e0 r
大学教授哦,能不剥削?
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表
& y9 Z2 q: D+ t
+ m6 ^& I9 ^. B8 v* d' Z* Z; g大学教授哦,能不剥削?

" i2 J. p( J* v9 T0 E9 E, k她是大学教瘦?
$ p3 r; I  a  B2 H+ r6 p4 w大学教胖还差不多 5 U+ C& F, n8 {* u
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
+ V% M; s, N$ O: q" i0 e1 p紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

0 r1 m/ W, I0 C! B3 ~5 T: [( \说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 1 w$ y1 I% ~" }6 }+ t
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
0 b+ ?& w$ [, R3 K& ?# Y

  ~  ~' C8 s" r哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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