埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 5078|回复: 20

Newfie Joke

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a% @8 C* |3 \5 G4 K, B* d1 h
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb8 L8 P+ T3 ?$ X
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
7 N: u; i1 Y4 v  g" Ythe newfie would like to play a fun game. % x$ s% N& _9 s) L, e/ q1 q2 ~
  / I: O8 [& h' K. ~8 V+ T
The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so4 y, X# \$ ?  H3 Y) ~0 q0 f# e4 X
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The4 h" G+ J5 H4 f: y2 H+ U
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I
/ C; ]" c4 D' {% `ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,8 l1 N2 l; C8 u6 \( Q; c8 w9 W/ ]
you pay me only $5.
- @0 j4 |. X: Z, ~: G/ K  e  V& K 1 Y3 I9 j& f& U  n2 W
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I- m5 _2 e6 D( Z: g2 H: K: f1 f1 O
will pay you $500. , g* d9 r) S" E5 p# n# t

" r& O+ V/ c6 F# F8 I, t4 w This catches the newfie's attention and to keep* @, _4 n9 X& I: ?: ~1 }, Z' g
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
) P, y$ ?/ V* I* y( g
+ b' O* _7 d7 u  C# m$ X5 LThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
  e  r0 e' ?1 v6 Dthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?' $ G) `2 H: F: e, N
7 F5 N0 {5 Y) u( B& p2 o
The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
/ T8 n  V) g3 opocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
* O' R0 G; @" u+ D  m/ R7 nlawyer. 0 d: d- ]$ Q0 S
5 V4 q2 [* V" z2 \& ]
Now, it's the newfie's turn.+ @4 S8 t& p+ r' [/ V6 R: T. ?

9 e/ j3 ?1 Z+ o4 kHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
8 T, h4 z/ H! o: v. `7 J2 ythree legs, and comes down with four?' $ |! Q! K/ K9 z2 J6 T5 f1 n  r+ B/ q% f

. Y* F" G1 j* ~. V. Q: h) l/ sThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all) K# w& M# E1 y- |: B9 X5 h
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
8 e, Z; Y2 V2 k* h4 m4 Jthe smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour0 b* `3 i+ }7 m3 G
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
# R) P$ s# s- c2 f, xhands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right9 y3 u  O0 R$ X9 v
back to sleep. , c! \; C  a# D" Z

- `3 y9 u. H: x2 ?4 ZThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He5 [- y1 J; V8 S9 k
wakes the newfie up and asks, ( w) y0 z! f) \3 K5 [6 `7 d
0 H- @; F# h1 q# }" C
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and5 V! I7 M6 ~" Q% G+ g9 n
comes down with four?' 9 _% r) w3 F" _# P3 i9 D

/ f2 G" v" t# i; W, N9 q. s) gThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
" {( x7 N) ~' Y; @8 D9 l2 qand goes back to sleep.
' R5 |9 e5 @9 [2 A  M
1 s) C3 T1 Q+ I& |1 @
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!! X; R4 {- X0 Q0 q$ p

7 e2 b4 ^/ k: L* b# z9 CLawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the' E5 A$ O8 e) L7 a1 Z

1 d: G' N4 x9 y6 o8 P7 h0 L+ L>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two 1 y; g" K! Q* [: A8 d. D
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
8 P& \2 j7 }" @8 W1 M/ M>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the 3 X* l  U, c. O% K, I
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
# k9 [& c' }+ g" e6 |>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
$ U0 f+ j& n5 X6 |/ B: e  O! O* |$ R- s1 K5 E* A/ C
>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
- B& ~3 w6 a8 @0 q& p>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
/ w% ^$ ^+ Z) I, W9 x( K) j7 D" |>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more 3 @# h$ _; o+ k
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
' j; `6 f* F/ N) X: g>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three
3 e$ |' f; a/ h) m- o: y5 g
6 I, |( E$ P7 @>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's ' a4 k1 p5 {2 w, x! L
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the 1 x0 [6 n5 e3 T% h
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand
2 r, {8 b- k- y# J$ ^2 e* g>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表 8 c' V, `- \; h- s5 r' O& ~
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a+ F# s+ a5 \6 S
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb8 B7 z- [7 @, a$ R& @8 C- {; W
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if) ]9 X" ~. p! d" {2 S2 f* z5 ]$ A
the newfie would l ...

! @) s9 \8 V6 l  M+ ]& C
' s2 h& F5 l2 A% m( M6 I+ Q% O1 E; y5 c/ w3 n. E; V7 n
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
% X8 X, {( O; r. f/ Z) C* a“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
' m4 U7 K, i6 u* n# K  R# E好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
$ s* q/ Y# G! X. u; @0 U8 t加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

3 Q7 K% ~& C2 v0 s$ j真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
$ Y& }+ Y4 ]( B% m
2 X* N- g0 x, ?  D: q# e
7 L* Y( }3 s7 L0 {: x* e& G+ O& m
3 c6 x# u$ \% f" _& n( y好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
! [( _* r, z6 O: b“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
/ J: e; `# b5 {" k. d# e" T好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

0 {8 `5 a% ?, k- h0 ?+ i7 R真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
' t$ ~" i( Y5 v- r# l4 ?
$ A- Q! ^( S! e0 t+ `真聪明,偶像啊
5 M' S0 G; d  c% b; g

/ o  W* W* x0 ^! N" p4 A全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 0 s! D5 X* s: |- P/ o
% Y" X2 j% H7 A0 N

( }# C# M$ l* m" `) s0 o3 ?全盘接受一下。

9 U8 ]+ h9 M, s0 d真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表 1 ?& s& D6 ?2 v* t# |; n# n( [
6 G7 d2 M, I* t" u
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

8 `6 G$ ?5 V, h, s0 Q* |1 i! {/ j4 I" J
, B$ K  J* P/ J  J; n8 s
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
; T; H- p6 d4 z7 |# J
" q/ ?. D2 v2 G5 p% {
# U$ ?: X. I; k! ?' e1 l& w$ {; s4 o/ K# A/ p
别把我往坏路上领啊。
, Y$ G* c: e; w+ w
你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
# }( R2 e$ J, Z2 e* ^  D加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

% Y* s& J) S5 C* @多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
- g$ {: _$ x" ?: d3 M* U
  L: ^" Z. d% B; ?* i3 w真博学,偶像啊。

8 `; b& Q8 P: d4 e: x) I8 t大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 ) g0 i+ _! X- i6 }6 w( Z- ^* `

% w! `( n' Y' O/ d4 l大学教授哦,能不剥削?
/ _  j( |7 k4 P' Y. x
她是大学教瘦?% E  Y* f- ^1 P
大学教胖还差不多
8 s4 y1 w0 E! y2 A3 j她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
3 E( q% q- U7 F( o- ]8 \5 G紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
0 [4 }6 x. D6 D9 C" c$ M; y
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
0 I6 c2 n9 a: d& i紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

2 ^$ x9 e+ q9 ~& D. o
) N, Y9 Y% J0 }% L8 z# G; Q哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-4-14 21:50 , Processed in 0.263090 second(s), 27 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表