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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a: E' f4 H$ b0 ?, i. ]# L" S: j
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb  `% J0 B2 t- x% N% m! J" _! G
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
6 r( q1 b& f6 |6 f6 M9 }, u0 gthe newfie would like to play a fun game. 2 Q/ z$ ]& x: n4 N$ L
  5 x1 {8 [+ n! B3 q
The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
7 P# ^" `2 L/ m he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The  k9 f5 l& o& R, D0 W' }8 p
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I! }7 b% c/ P) L( `( c7 p
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,' v5 @2 h( B0 t6 j
you pay me only $5.
4 k& W8 \' h( A; P   ]* R% m4 a& o+ d
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I" m  `/ m- T6 h  b; D
will pay you $500.   M: L$ p* y: j8 H" ~* C! i

' ^" y$ m$ {, S) j2 m9 L This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
# b% j  @) P1 A+ @* J  ]the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
2 D- D. G7 t, o+ d9 P# c0 H0 G- I& Y8 v
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's$ y8 g/ E( g3 C& |7 w  c: L
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'   H; m: T: s+ v

, U9 _( B& y8 L' a8 fThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his( p4 G- p: t! b2 }$ B3 l. w2 g9 _
pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
/ `/ @! Q  t* F, ]& _! Ilawyer.
# H8 F" p  C& m3 }2 Z% y* o6 p# ]% O3 o* o
Now, it's the newfie's turn.
8 {  H5 ]) z  [, U4 X; I" x3 m& L- z5 l8 V
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
% C6 O/ r6 m( U- ?4 J* d  Hthree legs, and comes down with four?' 8 r0 f% q* P% Y- y: X9 D" B
% \: x( T8 y4 |0 [2 M
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all# ^  `) g( y- C
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
: g7 h1 s, e& L! g' T7 z; o8 [- athe smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour# z+ i; i5 e  p. V. }2 A
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and$ x* R- m' j7 r, M. y
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
' A! N5 {" ~- S) @2 S3 Y7 Tback to sleep. ) }5 F0 b' M5 b% {8 `* Y! {/ ~/ U

9 X  U0 ?8 E- N. ^, MThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He5 e! q& p' y! c( @6 Z% l1 v
wakes the newfie up and asks,
& N0 W# w! F/ }$ C/ [( s
7 l1 q: h. ^3 E0 Z'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and
  Z8 y5 h+ P- L8 Y* E- Zcomes down with four?' ( C/ I) J5 E* `

0 T! c1 l8 N9 o& u' ~The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
% s. h: _! p; Z% d+ xand goes back to sleep.% U" R) ]+ x! M/ J1 p. ^0 c

) q/ ~% }, j, j
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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; c& K1 T/ h- h3 C  J: h* \Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the" f0 `5 y: q' m7 O6 A
( K( Q. y2 X" {: N8 {
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two " c) s* a' G* ]
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason ' C0 S* w4 p) p# A
>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
& b- w  a4 }% a3 {4 }" D6 h8 h>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
# D- R' w5 B9 {7 E: z>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
2 e8 W& b5 f% T' c5 Q
' J$ p% a6 ]/ c3 `  e>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research / k/ T4 E; v0 ?* a  p
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a ( D$ r: S- P  P. g& b% K
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more 8 n7 ~$ p. g$ t1 Q$ Y  ?$ C6 {+ f
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, 6 Y& G. m: t# r# Q
>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three5 b% S4 B7 n4 ^: q0 k
. Z+ c0 y, u; F# |# T* P' @/ t+ f9 i
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
5 `$ P" b+ _1 ?- W. ^# h>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
- I7 p0 K4 Q7 x>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand & W- ]$ M& A8 w9 j6 ?3 q7 W
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
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发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表 * ?3 h& C/ G( ?( j$ r6 q- l
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
8 m8 e! L8 m1 X. l$ e* Z4 `long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb! Q3 V6 N+ S- y- A( J" K8 K
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
2 Y) b+ T5 f0 Uthe newfie would l ...
4 s2 @) B5 E+ R9 H

4 A9 S" \, R( Z. s
" o6 ]( S8 m% F  q好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
% f# n/ G; P# v  N+ K; \" ?“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“," Y+ H3 }  q6 I$ i
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
# \. c- k* L, X  j  Z% j( g8 ~加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
( a! Y) w' _" L
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
$ }- |8 x) q5 @: E6 n4 l+ P% D( V, ?0 T
' _1 N6 F+ k" l, U7 }! U
6 W- P  j! y+ z9 r
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
' C& L, ?; w# A0 L“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,9 I2 P9 E8 t  q' b
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
. L9 }5 I1 G8 M
真聪明,偶像啊
大型搬家
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 # ^" t% A# j- U+ K& B& _

8 s! C  k3 N6 W( U9 n( @6 P: w真聪明,偶像啊
$ t4 E3 l* ]+ n0 t
# C7 c/ F2 U. p0 d5 W, ]6 u0 V  }
全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 7 E. G2 s* F$ L" O' E
! f: u+ w5 F2 \" b5 j

5 x7 i4 `% x9 x  c全盘接受一下。
  n# r* ^! c5 v: n# A6 D  N2 B5 U
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表 : ~) E$ \; `" }- _7 `. ^
1 w' V$ i- T" C' w) }" U& p+ c" }
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
7 B8 s1 T. {; d; F$ O
4 O4 x) R  t+ ]: V  D

% T2 Z, ~3 w; q别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
$ T2 ^3 }- a$ A* I
- i; S# B" M0 O! K# w* p( T2 G1 o0 u8 j# S  @+ e

$ Q3 e' \3 I5 z1 y) ^1 l别把我往坏路上领啊。

8 H$ }9 ~  i: p# X# ~8 U你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
$ e5 [6 g# G2 w. B% S加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

. {5 o' `/ j9 c9 d8 V( F多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
, o- j7 @* F3 z6 j2 K: G4 ^1 ~: X  ]
/ w# O0 {6 G' w" h0 Q真博学,偶像啊。

. b/ [# v' z8 Y0 z% i大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 . `6 X- a  s$ i* W

; b, l% q/ K/ [6 ^7 r大学教授哦,能不剥削?
# E9 Q0 J9 y' s) D1 f4 g' R& b* t  X
她是大学教瘦?
( f! P$ u4 o2 Q' s1 E大学教胖还差不多 4 _& \$ x0 _- g8 k" i
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
$ g) E7 l$ e  D- H& f9 v6 @' r* W# d紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

$ K! \; i3 l$ M' a. ]# E说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表   e: F) x' A$ v! s! C  v
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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; d$ a" T( `5 ^3 s* O. \
哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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