埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4523|回复: 20

Newfie Joke

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
: d( k7 U' Z* n7 C. d1 ]2 s" M& glong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
& p8 c% A/ w# Q0 G# z% k: `+ sthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if4 X" a% O( [3 s0 |; |
the newfie would like to play a fun game. ; ~1 c+ ]. {7 a( s; ~
  ) v; }& x9 w1 F1 Z7 K
The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
$ o  J' d* r1 k6 j. K+ `% ?) R he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The* k7 R9 s4 \6 s4 F
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I
7 j" B( r5 |4 V6 ^2 y( ^5 Vask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
" W! Y  e) h. G: I! b% m5 q8 r. H6 Pyou pay me only $5.
: A) R; Y8 Z8 S
% h- t: Y' P4 U$ l You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I0 n; J, |4 d/ r8 S- W& Q
will pay you $500. 7 a8 }& d* d# Y" a# T! w7 f1 R' S

! {' R  B2 J. C9 a  B This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
* y6 `) w8 p" `$ Q+ @4 |& O4 D! Ethe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
% `6 K% N  O! q' `. f/ E+ S% n2 u; Z' a! D0 m! s
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's- q- {( f& \* v9 Z  Z9 r/ N& }4 {
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
6 ?- i% z& H+ l; C( \
. H* T% I# c3 C/ c! ?4 M1 H' hThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
+ M; ^( e1 K3 O* t, K8 _pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the) E0 V# c2 |- u* X9 l* z% p% H# _! n
lawyer. 4 _2 J6 n1 k* t4 o- _; D

, p' |" J& R' g7 h1 {1 X& xNow, it's the newfie's turn.2 @8 r) _# f' F: d1 L, |
2 o" G7 @% q5 w4 L7 X
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with) J5 V/ K, b' o% u+ N/ X5 @) s7 E, Q
three legs, and comes down with four?' - x; C" F( B1 \# Z7 B

' B8 r; |9 |5 x5 R3 {- rThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
4 F% I! ]; B* A" f3 \references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all2 j' m* u" a# a1 t$ H( ^
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour- Y; D4 F7 Y; b7 C
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and% M9 f/ h! q4 _( A( g8 K
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
0 `/ V: g/ R( _back to sleep.
5 C& _7 L: Z* h% K% f, W7 w" Y
. H" }* A- A( ?& A' J+ EThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He4 k1 n0 p+ L4 y! X
wakes the newfie up and asks, 3 T3 \1 T) t) n% G& L

+ y6 P  G$ @# O8 @6 l4 g0 y'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and3 O9 f; g& R5 S* X  t& j8 U9 f8 p
comes down with four?' . F7 I, V/ w  W6 D. s

9 ~- z8 l0 ^. ?1 ^7 C- c. ?( l- r6 }The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $54 `! H+ c! f; B' n- C0 R2 V
and goes back to sleep.( z- ]7 A1 e4 Y! @" [; ?7 I. k- ?4 Z
7 R* a$ R; t9 r  L1 o
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
, U5 Y: p/ A1 N0 ~! p+ S; O4 }8 R1 q( m3 _9 S
Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the0 ]* i- M1 h# f- p- J
7 a9 T! O0 X8 O
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two   u7 A  V1 H1 _; V! x
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason ) z& @! x9 [) _! w
>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the ' |3 y- T1 e* f# {
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
* @4 n' A9 }! g# L, ~# `, q" f; D6 N- n>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
" ?  N; k% ~- Q/ t! I3 ?5 ^+ I, \- f* s' E) r) Z
>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
8 L  z) r8 u* y  r: F>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a 1 l/ I: P% ^1 [1 d
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more 9 L1 A4 V& O* m
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
/ X$ T: o! E- }# i>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three
' s0 A" c& g+ D1 g) r- n' r- a9 [; u! a; X5 d! I$ b! t0 o6 [
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's ; s& ~  R2 `8 u  o6 t8 U: a
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
  ~3 B6 d. i" Y: X>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand / _/ o; V) s, z; Q
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
# r0 N  @4 j, ^$ ?; E1 o% q6 ~+ XA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a# M* c# e  B  j: h
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
! Z  z& A( ?" r9 z+ Rthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
5 V2 b' e: p6 Dthe newfie would l ...

, F* K6 d4 x" c2 _: Y0 t1 A& {5 Q5 f% D! m1 g' v

# t5 Z$ d: V8 I& X' S! g好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
. Q# @/ I* m3 h! }9 N# O“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,3 I( i: `& B5 W8 L
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
2 }& M% l+ j5 m1 R9 m/ a5 V" B+ ]: A加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

) p$ F  b- D6 G; m6 D真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 / ^/ {3 y. w/ ^$ h3 x, s

9 R- y3 W" |/ M
: B- a( @- D! M3 `; G# K5 @5 {
5 I3 f; Q: |7 R4 [6 X好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:2 ~6 }- [; ]. a
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,( K/ G9 q9 d4 O
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

( g, F) b* I5 y  ?8 ~' ^3 @+ q真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
& z+ K) u: D% V, q3 L' F, ?* L0 s! Q( B
真聪明,偶像啊

6 z) l2 K0 P* {. w& z( q7 o1 N" H8 t' Z9 D3 N, f6 ~
全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表
. w& l" d5 Z2 q0 {$ ?- _+ q- y: |' t4 _$ f! x

) o& ~% _! x9 |7 p. @) w3 C7 s全盘接受一下。

0 e" X, M' a0 ~* e真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
- w  M4 N; O; @/ x" d7 e
( b4 p6 [( K4 b, X2 n真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
. R  p( }! ?6 i8 O
# \( b+ N! O9 i6 E  ]  p  V

. ~' y8 ^. }% ?" o& D别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
/ ?2 I4 q' J1 Q% Z! W9 a, B( {$ E/ L; w- u
4 U1 r3 s6 r- Q& h; x

* _$ \5 \2 }9 a别把我往坏路上领啊。

# Z  |$ S9 p2 Y5 E% m你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
# ^8 k! u, i6 G7 X" _加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

2 A6 q9 L, I/ ^8 Y5 D$ E4 o多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
0 {: S- S, u  l- R. u8 L! d. {3 h, W8 e7 n8 g. @9 `9 P
真博学,偶像啊。

9 e" j6 Q+ ^8 {0 t# W大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表
" c' K& a. ?! f$ n! i4 t3 o5 h6 V1 ~
大学教授哦,能不剥削?

4 B* M+ n; l+ l9 |# C4 U8 R她是大学教瘦?( }7 C1 P1 |8 W; o+ k
大学教胖还差不多 # K4 c- ?8 Q# Z) K
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
  t( Q, c3 l2 d3 }: {8 `. `紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

4 `. `; g' ^. ~- T9 H7 y% c说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 ; j9 P  E  L: g" e
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

2 i. P7 Z) Y1 k$ ~+ `7 ]
% h9 M8 t+ L& R' v9 k6 j哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-1-15 00:26 , Processed in 0.173786 second(s), 27 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表