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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol& f% U' V- c9 W% k+ M" I# k/ w
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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! n% S6 h* F9 O# u1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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$ [' o5 G; E- L. i# X" p2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.' l! }" C `# d7 B
& |; B) n8 D9 E. h: t3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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' F+ _! y5 r& A, p0 l4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.# ^+ ~, i0 Z: [
7 l) |7 u$ f+ ^2 N! ~0 W' G5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.; w' c2 u' v" ^& C
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! {5 n8 Z) f1 j1 \6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area8 ]2 x( q0 I% y: \3 X" {
0 _- R' y: q* X' @& `/ U7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.1 U& M5 u, O6 L0 ?# z
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask; h) {1 s' w6 @2 ]) A5 s2 M8 V
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'+ s G$ l6 P9 y4 f4 R" E$ O" N1 E
2 O0 g$ z( v+ Y# a2 e! j) ^2 i& I9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose. Q% }9 D. \! y/ \4 j- j: K
' L7 G+ \- G6 F( N1 P) w0 }10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.2 d+ p: e9 Q# i f( Z! c0 B, W$ U
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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. t0 m- v* [/ p: P" `14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!5 C" e$ `+ K) l$ |; i# i
8 e9 J8 |( k3 p/ n0 vAnd; last, but not least!)
/ v2 J* Y" h$ G3 D15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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