Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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) \$ |2 e% ~# m1 M; v( B5 ]One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

- e7 F% ^8 G7 z! }& X  G+ k4 h9 pIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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5 s7 F% A% K  ^1 a+ F" nThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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" s) h: N  e/ y! q- v* s# I" yWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

# L/ `' o' z- [+ V$ Q4 hLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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8 }# G  Z) e, [If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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! G/ m! T- M+ G" \3 PIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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% V/ g7 I4 K! Y. Y. iIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

" G5 @$ h/ M' E6 V$ L1 N2 @+ i, zIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
4 G; Z/ M1 y- vHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane