Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT


2 z- u- k: z/ q, b/ @& d# _Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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7 _' [) X: b8 \One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

: B1 M" T1 O) `If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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" }! r$ M0 c5 M: bThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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0 Y" c# B& U+ o! I5 ZWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

3 g/ h/ `  L% t! m; `Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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- y1 T4 d; L) g, JAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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9 J- q3 J: Y; W- G7 SDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

( a" y! g9 g7 Q5 {( vIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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+ ^+ U. _! P% q3 O: NIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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5 u2 e3 C2 _( C1 W+ gIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

/ h0 O6 {- h$ G9 _) }Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
5 g0 S: M! d6 nHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane