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Crazy English!1 v: O1 |3 v5 }) b+ v1 Y5 M
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.3 T1 S$ \0 j% e& C8 T. l
" k7 l y; l, H, qOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese./ X. _7 V7 }1 ?5 a5 a! L
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?$ S4 A- \) G4 P) p3 E
$ V+ H. }- n9 kIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?* @! \ C4 Y% o6 K$ \
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.* h! u* S/ i8 ^1 z9 ^- a, ^ M
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!+ F9 K1 l8 t% f8 b: B5 ]$ V
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.0 i$ D0 `; F: |1 Q% F
B$ [* f& F# K- FAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?' {/ U- I4 H1 P8 D8 _. b! b. l" `
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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, e" i; j M/ B/ P4 BIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?/ H3 n, E( F! c% N
/ s6 I" L9 c( I6 G, M- G3 yIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?/ K' y0 P& F% F6 J+ J% J! d9 y
$ a! R! {( V/ @$ C3 }/ h: n! aIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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( ~ p4 f8 T) T2 U |9 @& {Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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/ G* }/ k& a G+ r( g2 sHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your- y8 ?" u# ~% s) W- m9 m
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55
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