Crazy English! Zt

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$ p, B! n1 s0 [; `6 sCrazy English!
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# U% G2 ~. |: D# kWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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) g7 O5 `) z3 g7 m4 {  q, xOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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2 P* R, t5 U! a6 q* ]* m. tIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

1 J, l7 D# Q( Z, o9 n7 T# JIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

) L/ B) |/ W8 x1 t& ^) k( U9 n) MIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

" H/ {$ O/ s" j* r9 q0 }) T  c5 xThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

" d# d4 y% l. I. EThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

! ]6 u' H' R7 B* [6 GLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

2 Z7 l* f* V. E- a5 Y& BThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

' I4 n, ]' x0 D: MAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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, J* }) f/ U6 R  Z+ w$ z; i8 |6 U& pDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

: t8 l" e" E4 E* T* r$ g" XIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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6 ]4 A6 |: u9 E! AIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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( M/ X; ~$ U- V% MHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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+ O4 @- u4 A; t$ u+ O. P4 B8 l7 {How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

" G! J8 j! a6 z, o- F% Y" \You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane