Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 M& b/ Q/ q( a8 cMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

( L* m% G. X9 v; y7 p6 o+ Z' |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ O( j6 K2 g/ s7 i* N+ m$ SCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# k5 S4 {2 Y9 `4 p! Q7 uSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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& J% H( S7 I6 G" I+ l+ z6 [  ~$ N" oRESPONSIBILITIES:
) E2 _$ ^7 e+ Q0 _The rest of your life.
# J2 v  n3 \% v- N# _: GMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 U9 F& D' Q* ~# q; O1 m- B) M2 ountil someone needs $5.
  y" J- J% D' V9 |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
1 f  A& Y1 S  i) h; ?' Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( w2 b6 N" O3 [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; Z+ q1 m7 m, Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* b( Z6 U. a% ~$ U3 Wand stuck zippers.
' J9 a9 e0 x; n: X: L7 XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 I4 A$ s. T2 oan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 e! W  C$ E, X$ m! OMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& r6 m5 Q1 G4 @, |& t5 RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ Y+ I! Q$ @  `( d) }janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, Q. q/ @' Y5 s! D  s+ tPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  I3 G" O7 H* CNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 r+ X" p6 X$ g6 dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) V' m1 X3 M+ E/ C( @1 Ccan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- \+ X9 f- ^( q4 J) |. k4 lNone required, unfortunately.
% o1 r5 i/ q# z$ Z9 ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 l" H" C  N6 ?: pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' L9 \" ^  k* T: |5 q# u7 s5 J& LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' L# E3 O/ W0 ^; s) qof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* y/ p& c% f( e: i0 C0 pThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 e$ o5 [# h7 c- Q' _3 tBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( m. _3 z( u5 G3 }$ k: rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 y* @/ i% n' h1 X& wfor life if you play your cards right.
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! a4 J" o4 T& x" K4 ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& v+ P, D7 X3 H! X2 d' r. _# Bor forward with love
) W8 t0 M) f. O* z" t" Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.