Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, V2 D1 w4 p+ k+ ^Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

6 b6 a7 a, H; ?" J/ M) d# e- U
, f5 A0 [- Z& y/ N4 D! D. kJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" Q2 F( A* `3 P$ N* t/ v/ Y- MCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
" a* f9 Z  z, M+ j! X* W) [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( D5 w- h& `/ n! `8 c" mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" G+ O; C: d& X% {. xSome overnight travel required, including trips to
' U9 L$ @! l$ \4 j4 K4 w  h$ `primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% W0 O: h& t; v( A, s! qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- @% ~, R+ k2 R, D, `, iExtensive courier duties also required.

; n* W. b5 I8 H0 }5 M- ]; i2 QRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 S' a8 _% a4 S  D2 jMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; I& H- P0 i* F- x& }# duntil someone needs $5.
/ u$ R- H1 W3 Y1 gMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* W6 }0 E1 ?+ M$ U! U3 Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ w1 q% I, B. ^! Tin case, this time, the screams from
+ U+ W7 E  Y* Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# s  M6 X0 \* \; V* O, D% q1 C  YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ T# t. m) b6 ~7 o8 kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* z5 v( _1 ~6 _9 f: ]; K5 F! C( v7 OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. L  i3 \- W7 ^$ J8 y6 Q- CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 Y& Z$ i1 ^  t$ I1 Z  q. bMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ m% f9 h) M1 f8 J9 Y4 {7 W( d7 uMust assume final, complete accountability for
) k3 B1 Q( ?9 n% C! ~4 \4 I1 f4 zthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
3 W- ]! E6 I) S2 |8 ]5 h
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, Z+ I, ~/ }$ ^, Q% t' hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- T" ~5 l3 E% qcan ultimately surpass you.

1 Z# o. O, [$ t
! M& `2 a, T0 j& C2 b4 aPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. u* y! j4 g6 ?5 f4 Z9 ]! e$ NNone required, unfortunately.
" S% A) z0 C2 xOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

" M: b  n3 g7 NWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ z* P' k0 ^3 n$ xof the assumption that college will help them
( D- _+ t8 H9 L; G! Ibecome financially independent.
3 c$ U, H& E( @7 f* AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) h7 R+ A  ^, @. _- Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
# |0 j9 ?* c1 r, ?8 O4 `6 S$ G' GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ p, w7 T# x/ tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, ~) B1 z0 m  P4 l: p
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  J  O  W' c4 \' C: f2 Ofor life if you play your cards right.
4 V% l* H  y' c! F; J7 t5 i6 Y9 u) Y4 z
* T& N5 Y2 B4 B3 E* P* c6 z$ L
3 Q7 Y. N3 }4 a6 Q/ C8 Q
" H, i; S  R; ^! L
$ |# ?, {: z* f1 e3 z3 ~, j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


4 c! v; e- L5 @* _- z! S- L
6 ?/ i: R) M3 m9 IForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- |9 Z5 ~! I- |or forward with love
) \) k' A' j; [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
4 R- t+ c1 v9 h% t8 L7 ^

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.