Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 q$ p" K1 v) R' Z2 CDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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( j% s" \' ]* m7 I# w3 s* xJOB DESCRIPTION:
! h( ^4 ]. N1 I. rLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ C7 R( T: ^0 Y5 X! s: p) avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 m7 R6 i  U: G1 ?primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  G5 ?: A& R# t& Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% Z" `  \6 O8 ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
: _; I5 R# U' F# c$ E* o: l! d: fExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
8 \9 U) z6 m0 C- Z3 Y- o" l( HMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- v- g) C$ ]8 ^Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, K2 j" E' m% d& Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) P; @  j* e3 ain case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 f" U; Q: r3 [7 eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 J: @; n4 r4 e" r  Yand stuck zippers.
* [( A$ q% ]- k) T0 B: N: YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 [% g% _. h: F3 t& D7 kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! V+ v; s( o. u% Z; Z, n5 X4 ~/ eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! s4 T/ [: S/ Y1 d1 i2 qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' M5 R, ~  }' D4 X1 e/ M0 [5 }7 shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. S) x. w+ Q& E% s. d8 kMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
0 P$ ?3 t$ G" n% ^% Q0 c# MResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 }* h8 T# Z/ D8 X) c( p5 [7 d5 }without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 Q" U) s  }/ y' C6 x8 A) Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) T) R7 D% G1 {# W3 d+ n0 ~None required, unfortunately.
+ }$ ^( |. N/ D* W4 yOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 C+ P  l8 x  t1 D( w( {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) `4 ]6 }- V: T% TGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- \% E3 R& {: }3 {' Uof the assumption that college will help them
, k- Z/ l' P" Bbecome financially independent.
2 y+ j+ c  J& W2 y( Z$ RWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" |. W( X; @+ G; ]& zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 @* P; i( E; B1 ]. v% _9 CBENEFITS:
4 M) ]& h* P; [; _3 Z& VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
7 F% Q, V' x8 }' T* P" F8 Bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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8 |0 H9 l7 _1 D# Q; Zfor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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  ~2 _9 ?. J! ?6 T2 o6 cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( k" H2 l: G' F, For forward with love
7 y% C- `) b8 O. H0 {  e) Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.