Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' j0 {. x: V, B# uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. F8 _* n4 Y7 L' ICandidates must possess excellent communication
# d, s+ v0 e8 U' U- g! Land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 x* _  j  S- _7 ^, pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 t  u6 B9 d1 D2 K" \3 ^2 @/ sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, |! k; r& R- E. W4 B. a; d6 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. b8 o1 f0 `  J3 a# ATravel expenses not reimbursed.
' H$ Q4 c+ t- v0 A- ^Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 J6 B. M9 ~4 z) \0 p$ n4 e* ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) r: U& s" q# ~Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! R" j- B! i; Y" u5 ountil someone needs $5.
: E3 E, {. Z3 PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' O0 {, L5 Q1 j2 C1 k. `9 x- ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) i9 H+ R8 ^) X' \; sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 F# n1 j/ \9 g+ ]5 V- V" f2 Uin case, this time, the screams from
; e  [9 j# G! ?7 n0 Z: Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, f* Y/ K8 `& h$ K# h- Y# lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 y- E$ `9 O0 R3 ]and stuck zippers.
( K7 E2 M0 x% g+ A! Q/ UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  j6 U' i, {2 ^+ m* r  Zan embarrassment the next.
; X4 O3 \2 @; i" f, _# TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" _6 A: |: ]& qMust assume final, complete accountability for
( [9 O+ U9 i) E! e' ^- D& bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 w6 ?& i! q7 y! I) i/ u& [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: F5 e3 M4 u7 ]( t8 _% sNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


% r; k$ W, K4 ]$ Q( \7 t7 rPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
3 V+ y% e- A/ Z; L7 K$ C: ROn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, j8 G+ {8 {1 C6 ~( E6 p! UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
1 h' a1 N6 ]- c# p; m  Tbecome financially independent.
; w4 D; Z2 w3 q/ AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 S8 j  s9 m1 G% |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, [; A: ]/ V7 l& H; h1 h8 x2 [4 r+ mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! F: D$ e! n. V4 ?+ [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( H9 T" J6 f& r* m4 h5 @+ L6 tfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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& r7 Z1 L* [4 g( cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* b& L$ f7 }# L7 k$ nletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.