Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 M$ T  A4 S( ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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1 o2 Y1 M$ d, V+ GJOB DESCRIPTION:
% L1 l  q) n7 sLong term, team players needed for challenging,

- k% `3 P; {6 p# K5 A' ^  `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
: Y" r4 n5 M* B7 H/ X% \2 a6 Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
' u( I8 L/ }$ \5 T+ y% Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 @8 g& r0 c: C( nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! K) ]7 ]( ]4 y/ [3 Z. N5 M' DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 G* _: S2 B4 P5 D# O% z& `Extensive courier duties also required.

8 w8 r: H& r& r8 I* j; |8 KRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
3 E( x7 U9 L5 J+ a/ o1 iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ K3 `: q% `9 H' J& tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" B0 W; Y+ d3 _and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
2 [% e2 [6 ^% Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( }0 }  P  p9 m! t' E. L7 k* RMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 Z( m4 @# I/ D( G' @8 N8 _' Xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" J* Y6 e. x/ t( MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, n0 }9 Q. U7 O, y6 Z" PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: I# R# {3 ]  V& S1 B% O' {  ^) o* }an embarrassment the next.
, m; L- x6 C+ X! r9 \' eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" @/ t5 ^- S/ q% u+ Y/ }$ ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 y* F6 J8 V( @2 |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 Q% h$ B: D  m" Xthe quality of the end product.
) U0 Q* j5 n+ A1 _. t( WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& Z! i* K% I1 K* {( \+ C) JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; e8 {+ b2 a! B- P5 }& r: `/ RNone.
2 }) R' H+ P+ Q& M$ {# bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
  o2 i1 D0 @! N3 o% B, l5 q: uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" z. W+ H: D2 x$ c: y7 tcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
6 y; E9 O: y; |3 k% H; |) TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ r6 A. x+ I! V! j# GWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: b# q$ I& s! {" [# U5 j# ?) PGet this! You pay them!
5 y5 [/ l; z1 eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 f& B# U! V1 }! [2 E' J) Jof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
& T; ]: W# I0 V/ v6 nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) O( Q. m/ J- ~! ~# x2 hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

6 e. f! s5 O# v' A+ c% s) V6 I/ O; w7 HBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! Z' I7 r, _$ @% Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( C  q  ?: \+ f% A8 f! `5 Nno stock options are offered,
; v5 ]9 F+ A4 j5 w/ g; nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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: c5 o) w; Y  r$ R3 `# \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  T+ Y& A/ C' N5 d, ]) S. O) P# r1 ?letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.