 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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* i# ?# v6 m: p( Q$ WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' s& @3 P1 Q: h) B6 r: N2 YDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa& h* H9 r1 B) }' o8 l" r1 Y
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
. _, w% v7 v1 j8 V8 v- [) R! jLong term, team players needed for challenging,9 ~4 Z n% T/ K2 A' {
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 0 f- E' _1 e' t8 h4 e+ u
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' k( G0 q( l* x: S- u# N5 Iand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 Z, F3 P5 U: j1 a3 Cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 N0 E1 R7 y& ~: ]9 l9 {6 _& iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. . l2 ?5 o7 Z# {4 e8 {
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 ?! B! Y% g% Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and : {/ l0 n4 d, ~. V
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 5 b+ }6 N: V6 {( S
Travel expenses not reimbursed. & q- D: T% d9 `- I3 I1 y
Extensive courier duties also required. 3 u) ]5 m& S7 F0 Q7 z- O3 H
7 D0 [4 Z& S* G/ YRESPONSIBILITIES:1 j5 L, X9 t3 x, i' t
The rest of your life. 0 R2 l8 g' Y6 b8 U- n. H+ c( r
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 @# p6 D) G% u$ Z9 \; p" h# o% euntil someone needs $5.
: i. w& r) U6 V1 R2 ]/ e" t: BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 9 I' s7 F$ U9 S$ h4 m
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 5 H8 [% O) u# ^/ U$ u% T
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. z$ ]0 x+ e% B. yin case, this time, the screams from
9 _. d# X5 d1 W7 \/ s, |the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 Z! n% B( j' X: J/ \8 GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ U; Q. [* S2 Y, Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" m+ x# r/ j+ F' q/ c* rand stuck zippers.
, D" f1 R, n7 ^$ D5 n OMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ! W ]; M) k* a2 ?
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ F, h# ^" n6 K$ L3 i& GMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! i6 m$ d3 N1 h4 _' O& b3 bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- Q g \3 j; Q' {an embarrassment the next.
2 J! z0 V( B' bMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a 8 U K/ o0 y; L, z% p1 S; c
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 3 ?; F5 ^* s+ z3 l! y) V0 X
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 m3 y' p5 ?* w0 ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
; L6 w* Q( B6 ?3 u2 T6 |. u& W9 g( Pthe quality of the end product. % p5 K0 _/ \6 M" ]
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and * P J1 Q1 w& H; C- e) r0 B
janitorial work throughout the facility. 5 _" s) |1 u% S8 q* g) e- C2 N
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:& @! ?5 F& b# M6 D/ t8 E+ |
None. c* U2 n/ u7 R- |! \* R
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ) B" e" ~3 b }. U% b- n3 Y
without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 w. F; A$ a. D+ \updating your skills, so that those in your charge 5 [1 X8 @6 s: y
can ultimately surpass you.# O# n. c5 d h" ~2 ]: {& j7 j, p- o
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ! ]+ i2 a s& J7 I
None required, unfortunately.
+ A f1 J) T6 YOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: / a; I; U& p1 F* G! _0 k. z
Get this! You pay them! - c7 I3 ]2 N- k/ x
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ b8 c( ^7 n6 i$ d$ C9 ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 4 {, t' e% g; Z! n
of the assumption that college will help them ( S' x0 ?& Z1 Y7 A+ ~: f0 P1 k
become financially independent.
$ F$ z- B- g" ]$ w: @When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 b* j0 T( k# T8 u1 @' B3 `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 4 k U" v! y5 E9 @
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. / V8 ~! H& b/ z/ v) {
/ W4 s' C% s# e, H1 aBENEFITS:
* ~ j& I5 ^1 @( FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 N# n9 T/ d' J' [! Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 i1 Q3 K+ j5 j. C7 Y' Yno stock options are offered,
3 H9 y& K$ m# v/ athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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% b; r) u- T# k1 u1 |, q2 l( n** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **+ l0 x; k) J# I. f/ K4 _
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, : n5 @) ^' r" r; r% k9 l, Q" O; l6 T
letting them know they are appreciated
7 u* Z2 r: h# s- Qfor the fabulous job they do...
; r" @$ M+ q: l6 L- P. Q# `7 A7 \or forward with love
% X- [) s2 \# ~1 w4 t$ uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.. Y) \& k# b: U/ @
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
