Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' @. t; n6 ~7 i3 `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
( r0 T) o# O. A) vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 I1 k: W$ H$ Z* ]+ Q; k4 |and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 ]. X9 j  L; p3 @+ X3 eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
: v- l- O: N" j. D8 V6 S2 \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- [; ^- f5 q) ?: C" k6 D$ |3 `endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

7 u4 l  t) @  {  K1 \RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
  M( N/ p- V  \3 h! I3 v$ MMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 U0 \6 O! {0 ?6 q0 KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  i: A" ?4 l$ h! i2 \Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: v1 o+ C1 C& H4 t+ ~& m+ q6 Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ _/ V8 ]  K, C$ `in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. o7 y$ P& |/ x% Band stuck zippers.
8 A: {, I2 Z5 r* p/ U" WMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 b) E0 K6 Q- H5 n: ^  {Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 H  N6 r2 B8 _% K, qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' p5 P% e; w8 v! K7 D/ Tan embarrassment the next.
9 G# _0 g. B( S, x3 P, ?2 FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 S0 T! }( C! I, b! {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 ~; N% i8 G% v7 L* x# e! Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

, a: C: X: y0 H+ _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 D7 Z  @, g# X, H2 J2 {None.
. e5 N4 n9 i) q4 o; \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 |6 Y6 x- u8 o& v6 B% k0 Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
4 J& v/ w8 r' rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


- Q! {# b0 o. t# E/ JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" S% N! B: _" w! p: U7 UNone required, unfortunately.
3 r  S4 `9 T% u$ R! T: JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* e: R; w  Q' s* H5 {# E# Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 U3 B0 z: }' V, W2 pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
' N/ U! f. D( a! q6 l( F# `( Y5 vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 c! v. [- O. n$ t; Y  V8 c% O0 LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  t  u0 H! [( l4 |0 QBENEFITS:
6 n" N8 o, b  }5 o! Q2 ~While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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2 a" u; h% |) h# V& d8 nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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5 {) }$ ^- P- [" U) C. Z0 DForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
* }2 X8 P' x( N3 cfor the fabulous job they do...
9 h/ }7 u6 D* V1 ~+ For forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.