Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 H" ~1 k$ u; }0 y( q( |JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ T: Z' o0 B6 D4 R5 PLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 {9 l$ G: o9 R& E/ Jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 S# a9 _" t$ T: H& Q4 Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 |. n+ B' P" o1 v" }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 m% q$ q8 j2 w, v4 Gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

6 h# {+ T' r( LRESPONSIBILITIES:
; q% y8 J9 n2 `/ B9 U! DThe rest of your life.
( I; ?" e0 U! i! q5 U) xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% y! p4 N; @$ [2 V% i6 KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; x/ x- P  A  V* yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ u' l4 U8 R- ]- T9 Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 K1 _: Y2 b3 |  Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# |1 Q5 ^! n( a# B: ?! E. F) [7 Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 R$ R3 O5 p# s: G0 P: @coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 f) [# N& d; ^1 b( |0 UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, z+ m( M) R- |$ J7 z, v  ~. F2 gthe quality of the end product.
4 X# v* v" C! }* j: O5 PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- t" k, p( }) Bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 F1 y+ x' m! X4 rNone.
+ i: c' Y) f9 pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 A) s2 f7 J2 t# a$ Z8 j  Oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; t' O- L# m! d: K; g) bNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% T; W% M1 \0 m( ^7 [" Q: `: RWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 v  ^% R% o7 G8 p: i  ZGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( i" v0 Z6 X: A1 w& bof the assumption that college will help them
; o$ m. P& `- i) E1 T- {become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. s. W& n' W" L3 W  J# I4 X% Z1 }BENEFITS:
- K$ X" Z4 i$ I; H+ `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ ]* Z! W4 ?9 H; ]3 ]% K1 Ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" R# Z+ _* u2 ~. M" c: U2 U9 M; vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

3 f/ n- E* ]2 e5 O1 Ofor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.