Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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% x# P+ x, p- k! L) z1 bJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

$ v1 d9 c/ L7 `7 x* U0 b- N3 Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 A! x7 R0 h* svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 M+ O, M4 T0 d7 ^0 Q. `( h/ ^" ^Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! _; s! k- H$ Q# P! W; W# i# c' Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& [) }% d. }8 M4 Wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. c/ {( }8 y4 zExtensive courier duties also required.

% v% Q* A$ {& B; O; L% p4 D: tRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 \8 g# O2 G+ VThe rest of your life.
. M0 G/ u" N* d3 C+ f0 \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 D0 a% G' w7 X' r3 x) Q8 L+ {* ountil someone needs $5.
$ q$ n, X) E4 M! J  T7 Y/ jMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 E+ }: J( U& E# T) ]) Wand stuck zippers.
. u! u7 f% q9 W: d/ S- I0 d: n; ?Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% \1 e9 o$ d, I" [" K7 w' P! P+ Y0 e9 zMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& r9 i  q! ?0 t% n" r+ m+ b; iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

8 Q: T+ U% `- Y  hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ C5 q/ B! E; X, _' c! \None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" {$ M" ~3 \% vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' S& _4 u5 L6 o  }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 C! S5 E$ a; }( t' I' Q- L: ]$ ZOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

" k0 h/ d8 Y' M/ |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
. H) R& a$ B6 n; y( i0 h6 D0 S9 [/ pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 {* ~7 f& E" sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; P& i4 M2 N% a. u8 L6 y* `$ ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

+ ?; q1 W3 F7 E# tBENEFITS:
; h' u: W6 a1 Z$ z( mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ V5 F8 P! U5 s, w0 h1 V+ Dno stock options are offered,
, D9 x( O+ |/ c7 K* rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 Q( [) g/ T; I! r  }! T7 n$ _1 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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6 h* S) R# k* |  P9 cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) ]& d1 u- F2 i) t- a% tletting them know they are appreciated
1 Y" _* `) X! b* R$ n/ U, [for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.