 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.' t. t8 t3 T1 J3 o
7 V8 P% [$ W/ l3 g1 e: ?1 M1 _I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.: _& @5 Y' o% Q! s
$ [, P7 E0 ~0 ^8 {$ GI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. b5 h4 L8 a% b- }
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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. {' k9 \/ C( Z+ s- r% p"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" g! `) _1 [* h6 }5 s$ j
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! p' r. z/ B! X
: c9 \3 \$ C4 F/ V" g0 P$ W7 `- {And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ K; a) @7 X9 K- y
6 f) V( V- L/ a; Z7 ~I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed? {& [7 q) c% H
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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* N7 C# a1 ^* q4 k: W& k' xI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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$ J c& t7 z( @I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) `) F% h7 B9 y( S* t" A" u4 O
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Thank you very much!
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; ~) ^0 R' J8 J' R; KImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:) E" j, J8 Z! m0 l: k6 l1 A
* L7 ^5 E* g* r( {- ?1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 z# t' p* a( _9 W( y# }- ?
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' `7 Q4 w$ m; |
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US." s$ y& m( o7 K
5 K/ ~0 R" V7 k. \( N6 F- F; J2 AThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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