 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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' w5 A/ _3 L. q5 _$ H; a/ i4 I1 [I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) h+ a0 N* G7 k" q
; k% o) D: T1 d+ |5 O% Z& r# A0 rI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:& D0 g" Q( e& i5 S! o0 f: e, D
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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) ~3 o9 v- e( z B' b4 pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed? s6 v. {2 V! p/ X. X
8 R# K$ `- `+ E# I7 F+ F! {"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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1 F1 h+ \' N, c0 y [I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 h8 X# d5 ^# B
+ |7 l# M9 W* qSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ y) J- _' s5 ]6 ^7 d: S% I
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- \& u6 e" o9 H( d9 N
- b f$ @. T/ T0 p- a# HThank you very much!5 a# s& }4 R9 N5 k$ a" F( `) A3 R
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 F7 k- k5 [% m# Q. ~7 c7 ]2 C
+ U. u9 E4 I' s( ~8 u: j2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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2 R) B I. W& I" T! K, ]"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 L' C2 d2 L3 p+ H
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. Z9 X+ p. w$ I
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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