 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe., V8 H1 q; y. D$ a2 b
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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( E3 o# t/ P7 m# E# ^" ]I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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|( o7 l5 ~- }: w2 _; D4 `# n"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:- o3 `- g& ]( ~# @
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ O7 _/ ?% \$ Z, u
, i' I N, J( I( L* w" F"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 A: @- h& c4 ]. ?
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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5 u7 ~/ x+ Z7 ]% L9 Z- ]( s; M- q8 lI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 j, u; I9 x& I3 I( Q
4 ]$ X* t6 X' i% m1 D; @5 a& qI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”6 |$ A. x: w# p5 {. w6 g2 ~6 i y- S
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.! B! T! Y3 S: r
7 Z3 v" C% [7 N+ {8 B" RThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. J8 V7 c) T% E- P* S# J( l: W
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# v: M7 n; ]( g
9 B; R1 V* g* G# s) vJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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- K' ~- o g% z, {$ \' Y9 o sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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$ H& d# ^8 J: R a* M! FThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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