 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.# O* Z6 c4 {0 m4 J) q
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* I# O! t7 B8 [7 `6 L
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"; t8 S/ L1 O7 I% {, W
0 a6 R% F4 k d2 j, U' |0 MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:' H) k! H2 _& o8 b o5 `; X
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: m2 j1 p3 R' X8 ?- u% k2 {6 y2 A
& [! h$ Z7 v0 ]2 H( a8 `"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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2 ]$ C7 `; a- J" h$ d) X+ JI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?3 y" H$ e/ G7 O: O
( }* L; {0 I7 J$ S0 @I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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& g; j' d% r8 A; w! N$ H( FI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; m1 g) J' I2 Q5 r$ e
9 L) H7 s* j6 g3 ]1 Z: m3 _ M+ C8 ISo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"3 w! Z; Y: T' i1 U1 Y7 _0 d. L
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) X7 K7 n2 p1 L
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Thank you very much!3 h( ?$ \- b. G; o
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:+ m. q( ~$ B3 S6 g1 i9 S. V
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.6 ~" ?2 G2 M/ n, \* w% U9 f5 w
8 t Z% q6 M" }' U2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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% |' x1 Y, s z; i# C- f# ]9 P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.2 Y! `& v0 r! s- Y1 l
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US., m6 t$ m' q$ i
% k, v) Q6 Q& q! I, A: KThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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