 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ C4 i% [1 ^5 @& F7 O
" b. C- H! c6 r9 ^, b( {- L: yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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! f7 O# k& N! [6 p( `I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 T7 w7 \( n8 t; @$ _6 ^"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 ~5 r. ?% B$ T! E( n; F R S
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:0 a2 r* O1 e5 w1 l& e+ c: r
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"1 [' T" m) O5 c3 x0 R' t% G
# T# Y% p/ v* }/ kI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- C3 x8 l8 t- p* E
! ~! D3 F; P$ \: a4 GI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) ~' u8 o8 X8 f3 _2 n
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!) b) M' w5 u0 Z4 N, C/ u6 W# j$ y
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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- u3 u+ S7 L+ E O$ Q* ?$ A4 YSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"9 w) Y7 M3 G' W' K# Z, Y8 L
4 ?1 G4 X G9 qNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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; `7 r- A+ h2 v1 J, zThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.+ }2 b- b) o* [- T7 [
) G: b4 u Q" G- H: `( \1 EThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 U- s0 P+ I* g \. L6 J' X
& J. b+ D' l! j; M: b1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ D4 V7 E" t1 R0 d8 G8 b; j. r
; t Z" y: w5 [0 H2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.9 w# @' y( |7 ?4 M) _( z
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 ]% l S m% [5 D; m
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 [4 J. K1 O, w: e4 {
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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