 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.' [1 [' Y- {6 N8 S# ^$ Q
5 G2 s. ?' j) t; \- B8 M9 fI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 P; A$ y8 R7 \
3 g% W) k! e8 N' c1 y/ uI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.; `! [7 ?3 `4 S
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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( ^0 f5 g _) T% d T+ p5 iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; Y; i# H, \: r
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And the second one was:
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# c v$ }1 H8 Z% E3 T3 Y: g"What's the 2nd Amendment?"2 j, {, y+ R% k* d
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ P9 h: @+ U R- B* c' k
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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! ?- g; S0 m4 @2 V* `I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?( I! t Z# }3 s; ^7 o/ Y4 E
9 C- S8 c1 A$ A" FI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!# X, h! Y1 ]; a' _- _/ Y
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”+ v' i- m N. J& L. H
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# c6 z, s! [1 b9 p, Q
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Thank you very much!- S. d; [- W# i' t
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, k w! _9 }7 _* [$ x
% f3 t3 M$ O: S+ T* d4 F/ J: r1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.! G: w( P' K g5 z' u. x
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. }1 i: ]8 H U5 d
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".) A) O) M6 e/ I! y% S
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 M( R$ y2 _. c
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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