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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.; ]. f( f. C0 q' h' t

& V' V: X7 a& g- F) }I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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# f1 p4 ~( d4 \I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.7 @8 B! R" c+ @- X- X3 b$ s

1 @9 ^  |  _% S# TI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* J0 r' D, Z5 D& U2 m" C7 A

( k) @9 L: i* v, W"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 w* p& Q* X, m5 yI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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9 g9 ^7 ], p0 l: p" D, R/ Q% Z; eAnd the second one was:- ]: G! a9 W- m" B

- }$ B* ?& k8 x0 F"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. B& Q. I. I& a( ^"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ E3 x+ O" K6 Q2 A% y! I- W" T

' Y& f, i+ h2 w; n6 `I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?9 q, j6 h% r: b4 w9 W& P4 j

0 ~9 {9 w4 l: M& `6 J6 f, |I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 J* X5 S1 q5 c, [+ E! V- q8 d

. C; r" B) [6 AI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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+ f9 |3 d! h: y! C% JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”4 n, ?5 H* ^( A, L$ V  z

  s  m5 d: h) S; V  o) JThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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==========================
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! S: \0 ^" M. f5 ?# yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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# ]. k2 `5 V3 O" v/ u2 G2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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% S! Q9 v+ X' z2 V7 ^Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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9 q" |0 W2 @' yThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 8 h" d. _) ^, p3 |" }
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
+ l, U2 |* A; E& a+ K5 o怎么理解?: u0 f7 x, {8 ?
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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1 j) h  `& Q; m' _. j( t$ a不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。& h2 J0 j  e* H, F' v
怎么理解?
! `+ N/ R0 A/ W7 ]/ f1 D& M50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
. ^6 \# C! ]. W% ncyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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5 s1 W1 t6 u/ }我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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