 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ m4 Z) w# H$ u
* Y$ ^7 o% j0 {6 W& Y2 ?" C9 y" s
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
9 i. V7 o/ \0 J3 Z+ T, s% a! D. r- K8 B% P" j8 w
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% ~4 Q+ R7 L2 j3 R6 d
( x( {2 e B% `1 {
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:/ l; |4 M* q- x
# D. g6 x; ^* S r1 ~"Who's Benjamin Franklin?", r4 h; I& p& a9 t# q
, o7 G) \! n, x$ i' z; XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
% K" ^0 [+ M3 A/ b1 ~+ }% T: T# y ~8 ]* y
And the second one was:. c) u; D# m6 R
7 R$ r4 j. M: X/ V: \"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ J; @- l) f0 K0 |+ i' [
# S. z8 m# @/ O) ^! J% _! T3 UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
5 B( b/ ^ w: {* w5 G8 A" s4 ?% x& D. N/ S* ^- @2 }
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
4 P1 Y/ Y9 k, ?6 r. V7 t
4 Y6 \: ^% a" a8 M M/ zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
0 a; j7 Y" X: v9 s1 W# t# f
/ y& d% B0 c/ o) B M4 f) pI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
+ U8 O& T N) T. t# b4 {
0 i: ~6 Y* a$ U' R; b9 TI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" p2 j& d8 z2 W% b. ?1 j
1 Z, Z3 t0 _" {9 c
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
6 k0 l5 n H. n0 O* z7 R4 O5 s8 u: ^' d
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.” P0 p8 h; t, r1 F7 c
, K8 {8 f% v0 n, l- T D7 v$ k
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., U7 s+ B" k3 D e* V
* V) W2 ~4 n: [+ b4 W( OThank you very much!
9 x ^( j1 C. b* J' r0 @0 ^% q" n; P
==========================
C% \# r6 M! P o( s* a) C
$ `' D/ g8 E+ \% n& E0 ZImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
/ w" l- C: G1 U- u+ ^; v3 E
. Z+ C8 C' x6 `$ n# ]0 ^1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ b# q' U8 V$ F4 A
4 q4 [: z K+ O
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." E# f7 A: `5 Y2 T: O( G" M/ ]
# }$ z0 H1 K: _; o1 J- Y p"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
: T; g: T$ b( Q" Q( K. S
9 w. ~) d. L% wJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".4 p2 P7 P4 ~3 Y0 F2 W% j' z" ^- ]
; x4 S- p! K( [7 R9 hRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. c' D% f0 a3 [; a: J
' r; o- o9 E% Q
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
