 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.( G) q) r+ O! i
( c% Z$ c' T3 a K7 s xI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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0 w$ {$ c4 C' L( D) ]I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 v: d' u' x# q0 \, A9 S# ~/ T
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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0 ^: c* R. }. [- a"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; f6 A9 q3 r; O, B* u- S
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% y( Y+ a. x5 z4 {9 Y/ _
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ ~- l! y: X- b' ` u: q* b
, i! }* p ?1 N7 v% }So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?": O0 j7 \: G- O k9 r
6 V, G1 \1 u% |# T' e/ c8 QNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- e5 w6 k3 Q2 x" C- E* e
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.; g! J9 _) D0 f
* _% R+ \" _9 \8 l' YThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:) g- M, o" V. }- m# ]" i$ d/ Y
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.* T9 E# u" I5 P2 A' o
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 |- Q0 @- K+ V0 A0 K; m8 x6 s: x
6 y/ a0 Y0 \! Z# r0 G6 F- R+ }3 s5 X"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# ~) e q C2 y5 H, i) h4 @+ E' b
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 W2 S f' T: X u: p
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
