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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% w- P+ B( Y) \- T9 s3 K

# `$ X8 s+ y& U- g7 vI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 |! m* l- P& O4 |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- s, D( V* L4 [1 |0 m

. E4 S$ g5 w: \4 tI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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- Z7 V; m8 A, D6 N% ?7 b8 `4 `; g"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 q# W" Q6 ^/ R; f  |* h% BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' A9 G8 C) H% V, Q) o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 E- w0 t1 H2 T$ F4 H2 K
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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6 d4 x. ?8 T# u8 l: t6 k$ K9 hI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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0 F- E5 G4 k; |! e! aSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 b" R% ?( R7 k3 W

. F0 i; @4 p- W5 J- u2 ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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- C) F/ P) L7 [7 d) [6 W5 f# SThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.6 |+ o% l$ A$ A1 B% [
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, [( O3 w7 X' Z( x( I2 u* {  r2 D! O

- c8 l5 p9 `+ X1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.4 p2 q* F5 |1 w4 v" \
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.2 ?9 ~  r4 H3 X; u; s6 s: ~0 J! G
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ N0 H; p. H3 H1 D

! n2 m# E0 [8 V. D2 ^4 @Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".1 Z6 y' X: R. ]9 f
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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; Z0 D2 _0 Y5 Q( o& _  HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
4 r1 U( A! K  Ya young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
$ w6 P$ c7 @9 @3 d2 `8 G怎么理解?' Y# m, h; c7 n
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。: h9 r- {; i! p' P) S5 W) m% L/ w* H: v) U
怎么理解?
+ P8 |" }5 y5 k50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
& F) V4 J( v0 q$ o4 rcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳 - e& r4 L9 Q- |/ a& Z& s- ?

0 r6 F- T7 C0 V# m2 b! r我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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