 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 o. O7 c, ]4 j& m
O% _3 U$ s/ cI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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0 a$ T! W0 I8 d/ t; m' @I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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/ ?9 x1 r/ L8 b; c; g& \) m1 G+ eI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 u! }6 x2 _% p9 H
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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' x& @8 a' C( d: R% g/ f, Y) m8 KI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, z( I! u, L$ X8 R
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And the second one was:/ h% C/ |* {+ [% L' a; G+ P7 u2 C
~, u, X/ P& [$ l: e n2 f"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; B* U- D# Z4 Z1 M
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"4 n( A, @& E, ]( a( j
* `; K8 u) T' x: i" _1 p5 mI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?' U! D' [. E8 ]2 C
, t9 c# X4 Q4 ^5 tI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 \$ f) l& i9 w* H# K) z
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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$ V( d* q! G# F: CSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"3 i* i X7 J0 r) N
/ t1 P4 B+ ?3 K- h: ]" x2 ?6 ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 t8 r' d" c7 R! L: ^! ~
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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6 C) [0 s5 i9 b' t, |7 B1 K" X; FThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:( q$ E* M9 c$ f
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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8 U6 c& {& s% F) g/ K2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.8 L h2 x! q- d' y* ^
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion." u; z1 m, W) c: ?7 P& I* ~
! J9 I$ g) ~! iJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".; N4 q! O- V1 e3 F% g9 J
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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2 t* V Q- B% }+ K9 pThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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