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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.0 p  O' r& a/ K2 c7 `: k
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 Y8 v  ~% D+ I# b2 L. v$ Z
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ e2 P; y; K1 ^+ P: jI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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6 I' ~: f3 R2 H+ P. NAnd the second one was:
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: f; l* {3 e, p' O"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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) z7 V* s) ^6 @5 ^I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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" `4 d, t& I9 p5 n"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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+ N; A+ O  u  A) yI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; c, W+ ~2 z( P$ i' t* l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' r" t' `' p: w4 D& `$ P: t( a
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”1 t; A- C) \+ ]( x) w' c! V
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.$ [' @7 o$ c4 c& x  U

* `# m0 a9 C# T8 Z: v* VThank you very much!
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4 C* }6 d# ~4 _+ P" n$ Y- p==========================
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7 K1 b' e  _% N/ iImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, w# b% Y  [: R/ A9 R( j- }

( o" \& ~7 X9 ~: s/ T; K1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.; a0 E3 D" j  G( d7 T1 d. o
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 q5 u5 s$ C. e5 k9 G

' i+ F4 @% N  d" L4 w$ _Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"., V" y& ~7 @  }* V% w# }2 \, n6 h
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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) @: b0 H3 X+ u8 W4 A7 VThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: ' ?2 t, k" g% {4 Z
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。5 t( N) @1 k6 i' a8 y8 z" A
怎么理解?
3 a$ |6 Y! T: }# O/ e50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
; I& f( w7 S0 x! v, O怎么理解?/ ~7 y7 t) B" @3 J
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?8 O4 S' E; {$ c( R+ ~& Z  m4 V/ Z5 n
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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7 U$ Q; A; Q4 ]* k8 B我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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