 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* v3 @. E" j* E: U" \% p) N8 I
/ L! d) s5 b$ g& ?. KI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. Z5 {& Y) w: r4 u5 o
, P. I p9 X/ _$ n8 S, \) gI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 m1 z: p$ E' Q
5 Y8 ?, R. K# H6 A"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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" z" p0 R; Z; P8 eAnd the second one was:7 q- _2 d6 z2 v2 u9 [' R
/ W' q* d0 l4 R5 p* C5 a"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! M7 W# W! f) A/ i/ J
! ~( u' i6 X, s: [7 z- @I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 g2 i" k7 w. p5 l
& R6 W1 F7 W5 t"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ l( X. S. F% `3 P7 @, k& V
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?( O8 Q$ E! w9 B: x# u/ V g/ S
! E5 F+ ^( ]( C1 ]* tI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 U6 B! Y" Y+ `# c1 F, y GI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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& ?1 A$ P; E+ {( U/ t$ d" HSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 b3 }3 k) A) l5 r! u
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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0 a8 k) W) L* tThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.* k; l* v# J2 ~1 f2 y
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:6 K! o% v: V; t, N0 H& S ?
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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1 T, R7 E7 N: o X* \: W2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: g. s9 ^% @; n8 G( U
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".9 Y- X+ ] Z6 x" z, l3 }
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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, B+ m) ]6 ~% O5 B3 iThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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