 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.. S4 [# D! m# F
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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. ~- c/ j# G" b# b1 A9 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' V) H0 B% \4 e) ^And the second one was:
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; w i( [: {; I0 ?) P"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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% g, U2 M6 ]- S+ l5 X* W- JI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ b' m3 p/ T/ `/ |& B/ u6 g: A. h/ X
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" L) E, w6 X, {
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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' ~" g* ]( V- C1 l% a5 hI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% u3 T+ D+ A1 q ] s
5 b% Q5 `; P1 n/ NI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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/ `& |3 U9 O! T! eSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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) Y: d5 ]7 u9 C, L! _) `) G! v+ E! hNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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! ?( V! }/ }+ r" ^ _) uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., b( X' Y L1 D
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Thank you very much!' G3 _7 T9 ]& o
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r8 p3 Z. q" x. w3 E' z3 zImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; i) y& K0 U- Q: J" c% S
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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# d/ Z% y3 i8 C- x h+ C' u% OJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 o9 V9 H% b* P) r7 y
8 d; s6 J# `. Y1 B% O' `) IRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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" b9 j# ^+ c' l! uThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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