 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 z' ?( Z/ ?1 v: [' @' d% P+ n/ V' h, _
! _7 b4 f$ B4 n9 E0 [I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* u- j: m; i! j9 _# G
# b' }+ J& Q; H. iI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 r4 u- j9 D6 ?0 O9 a5 B* g
$ `: j4 n) s4 I$ K9 b: {$ hI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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" p1 N+ o p3 A/ a- G) {0 Y$ [4 GAnd the second one was:2 x/ V- b$ }/ h0 E5 u1 g H
$ L. h2 p4 b$ W% {- k. k! v- E8 ?"What's the 2nd Amendment?"1 X1 Q! e, Y Q3 o( a; _
$ ^* `3 G% o2 z4 W, W8 @& `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 B6 t, m) j$ q R4 n
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% l- i6 l5 t6 ?9 q2 M' A; E
% k! d& c# f' l# K: n# O: y' WI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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' `# y/ R% j6 d' F; k9 R WI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; {, i* p$ @8 F+ r! ^% [
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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_! n: H2 L7 A7 m' u6 OSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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5 |% l8 z% F9 ]Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”7 `. b' E$ }3 U0 O* L% n
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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6 P; u9 e9 l$ h) }7 |' u! y9 qThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:+ C; b, x+ K2 P
+ H0 W$ \' ]4 S5 a1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 D3 z4 @7 B' d+ r5 C7 k5 I2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 n: a1 D2 `% D, p& y
# D2 |) v: |1 v% R5 u" n6 D"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".# z' d& x. \' `6 U2 ~7 I* H
$ J8 S1 p* l7 N0 XRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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0 K3 i5 v: N- F1 D9 c. o2 pThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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