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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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* s/ e$ T+ y# {# S5 F6 m& R1 H" zI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. ^- L$ z+ `, A: I/ b3 S* q- S

. L+ `( J% \; h8 R: C( SI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- Q6 q( T( X  W8 H) M  p; ~7 ^
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 A3 n9 g6 i9 B# q; l  i
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And the second one was:
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: m# A. ]9 m2 e% n"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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; S, g9 k) n$ _6 X- TI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?  a& f# e4 w8 X

0 r% t/ q& M. d. ]6 }4 g0 T( B"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 X# p0 d6 U! L4 g, N# D

% W# B  _' b8 L$ M1 aI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?4 i2 w4 g9 r" N# i2 N

0 A8 O# @. K+ PI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* {/ ?/ K* s7 Y3 Y3 q0 ]+ |. w/ `
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?": e% d4 z& u6 a! K+ |& h# i3 _
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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7 z' j* d( P' u( v, Z& {  d1 R) JThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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% |9 l+ [6 m$ ?Thank you very much!& X$ p4 ^: Y% ~& v. ~9 @+ D) G
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+ ~7 W0 X  o9 b3 SImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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7 ]6 i8 E" w( v7 X4 h& R, L1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# x7 F# {& H2 a5 Y+ k% o+ a
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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, M' D( E7 [' E% F( p; ~"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.0 R4 x5 I* q" x. Y
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".$ Y5 T$ {/ p7 z- V, j. Y! J

9 E  J, D6 N5 w$ h, qRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 s% e# z  M6 U1 H% Z

9 D8 B' C3 x+ q9 e- E1 SThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
0 F3 L" i. ?6 Z0 {5 E2 ?3 ka young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。7 Z+ t  |2 \, k
怎么理解?+ G: v  n( v. x) f( j) c, O) a" t1 M3 z
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。  Z5 G  f5 @. I5 h5 Y: l
怎么理解?. h0 j  ?1 i9 K) X  `$ L
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?0 H4 K/ ~$ f6 w
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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# V1 E& E" @2 U2 h2 J/ m& i) l我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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