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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& c) V( s, ?3 y0 [8 c2 `7 U
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! ?( B  ^/ J3 p9 L6 S$ W

6 s2 O2 T& i* C* Z4 M' nI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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$ d7 q5 q4 P5 p) P"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"6 J2 J. F7 [; |7 ~7 Q: {% k
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 S& V- }1 N9 {7 r

( g( p  w% ^8 X0 T+ bAnd the second one was:
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$ c2 e# N/ W* C3 ]* O+ b, y"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% s+ B$ q8 I4 F* b
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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4 ?7 D4 n  G) x( ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."' B3 f3 S7 G) x

5 T( q5 Q, Q) Y) ^' l: z. F5 NSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' n5 h) I" T- o) l' {; x

' G# e3 i1 [9 uNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”# P$ n( j* `; |- b9 C

4 I; }4 l& k' y' gThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.7 k8 p6 s0 j5 \* \  P( j, c- Q" d
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 x$ V, b! N6 u9 g* _7 M4 n
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., \1 Q( g. \: `+ Z
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 U& D+ _  K0 T& L% tRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.' N1 g. N5 X3 I2 {2 H, ?9 e; f; Y
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: ' p# \3 C$ c. P+ `3 F; V$ d9 w1 \
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
9 N$ k) N- Z5 J( T* l怎么理解?
" a1 r7 f: B0 s$ m3 f1 h50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。! g) c  t0 b% i, S8 \' y
怎么理解?
$ A* @) w! v) u4 w! a& P50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?8 U" c0 {3 N4 `5 Y2 P6 m" r# i
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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5 c; @9 \6 E$ `0 R我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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; o9 x" M# H( t  e我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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