 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.2 {" I, I0 ^& p) R) o
" f& v% b# I8 x1 u* lI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.7 D" L# s/ {% C8 J/ l h; d: U9 ^
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ h: }! v+ A& K4 e9 u
+ q N: |! X# |7 V8 DI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"$ @& T7 S2 Q" V) j# q; J2 V
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ \/ Q. \1 Q; H2 x$ }9 o8 ~& ~6 o9 S
; s. A4 j$ z E1 z) [( q1 A7 H2 eAnd the second one was:* B) |6 O) p" L3 q' n
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; M. p. \9 w2 ~* a4 |. M( r
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ }! e6 Q8 t9 O- ^; R3 F. j* |
1 S- l8 h2 N# Q6 b3 k: c"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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6 ?; ~. b& t/ h, NI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 v3 d' C% Y, s `I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; ]2 F* o. ` B7 s2 s* X+ xNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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1 |) d' Y' A+ o3 D) P% d# OThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.9 c( O9 m8 M3 k* w
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# A% q3 _" @$ l
6 H a" G3 D0 I. Y' {$ H, B$ m7 i6 c"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 T! p3 K9 ?" m2 } X4 O6 R: c
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".' r8 \6 z$ E, p; s# `" n& i$ o
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( i* Z1 v8 S1 B n9 k3 `
1 W- S$ p P8 [The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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