 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.: [/ v5 d) ^. Q
' k1 Z4 t# H1 N3 k7 \1 lI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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. B( f" U1 D$ x" y: ]: h/ uI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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/ T+ H! P. H1 ?+ vI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# d! `0 s) z3 A3 s
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And the second one was:
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+ Z* r, W& y: u( U3 j5 i"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! ~5 a* ^+ j; Y5 B
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& K6 X2 V n8 l6 \8 C) J$ b"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& P5 C) W- O6 v$ Z, m
( X7 }$ T; M/ a8 Z) fI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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& O. a* Z: H2 q( u- s5 I. Z6 pI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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. C7 \* k% ^0 i1 C. \: A5 iI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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% [6 ]3 b8 S% D% \2 YThank you very much!
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3 z2 W! M" S2 e; D1 RImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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: V( V H: C3 Y! q! b9 X1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.( ~; ?: O/ c4 a- q: O
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.- m7 s" {" }0 u1 x
. G+ `! Y: X i) `( X1 _/ x) tJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 k. r! ~4 Z$ p$ S! tRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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# x$ ?) ?, o* c. I0 }' y+ aThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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