 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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2 s! u! j( F( {0 gI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.) K4 m5 R w& c( H2 R
8 L9 `& n3 u4 z2 s3 ZI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"( \) D/ s0 V2 l8 ?) f
: d. P P% v& o3 }I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:- w8 {7 V* D& Y0 t
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ q3 V; w! @7 B4 `% }) s: o# W
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' m) z& I) y: y1 G) k/ Q- N
9 M) j! g) k5 X/ g9 U* qI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 b9 B) \+ ]% D9 s/ c. c. Z9 G7 H
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 ~! T( q0 ~" N ~2 O: Q
0 a+ _4 n9 ~& o6 x; wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& g$ P1 D- A( S" W9 g5 ~, T* L/ V
7 Z+ q1 @0 W8 u8 ]- R+ |* t% i dNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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M. ~0 Q3 k+ l8 L/ L! IThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% l( F& x7 u5 n1 O! C8 F) J
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Thank you very much!
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2 Y) f+ M. A- c% l, C. v1 p# ~) o$ wImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ P3 O9 ^& H; Y1 s2 n
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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' n+ w* N& k1 UJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 j0 R& _- d6 v0 }4 K1 Q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
