 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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6 V5 Z6 w' H+ Y- U6 o- T; xI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. ]8 O, U, L7 B2 n
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 n# P- h' v; Q! ~4 g; H7 E1 p+ j
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 D# h1 [& L4 g
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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- n1 G- k' q! G% z$ cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 i" v: t3 ~: UAnd the second one was:) V' X; t; y# j
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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! M9 V$ I I3 i+ ^2 YI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" v2 V' R3 j, r# m
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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9 D3 o$ Y9 F* R1 x4 L8 p/ FI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 _$ m& [3 H- {! h, Q$ r7 S8 T7 p$ f4 \% k# A
4 z4 P: ^, Y$ I8 ?% ^& E5 LI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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8 e4 H& [) E" O- mI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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; r' O0 s8 r% e* c7 U0 `So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. y9 I. a$ S) a* O: s# ^
' c- [. q( V! H8 ?1 Z1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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, P0 B) U l& g- S# `" F0 T! ]* x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* I# U" V6 t: w/ e& A& P
4 V; `; M; H& k6 e' s8 J1 q4 nJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".2 r d+ M5 k$ @
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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