 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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( ~0 o8 J: w- k' S$ s7 Z3 n$ nI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 V3 J. @$ A. R- q% D: Y
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. {0 x& e Y [" K5 y9 j
0 Q+ p+ s8 T1 {8 R# U( r/ FI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:& x) C8 t! p2 G. P; ^& M- r( S
, I$ u0 D8 d1 @! m) _, D& _"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 ~" n* |, F1 V" J) o9 \) Z
1 D/ R/ ?, z# a. F) k. k( iAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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$ P* s, t, L6 e; A5 I K( @" G FI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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* J. b) E8 G; m) a$ eI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!9 w, S4 n' |5 @8 b& r) I
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( w+ ~# P7 ?( T/ ~; Y9 P
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 R4 V: j1 ^* }! J) Z4 b; {
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' W& i$ U8 _4 ?" Y( n( f! E7 ]
& k6 x$ q! _2 C; SThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) d% L C* g, m- R* c1 U
+ J& o7 A% z) W$ S, AThank you very much!
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+ F8 i+ Q, K/ e/ z- `* w$ fImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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4 l, s: r! }4 \3 N9 a1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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$ H; o7 v9 b9 ~5 T2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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3 J/ `4 v/ `5 j. yJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% h- g2 h4 m# i; K" uRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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