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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. a  m# n7 e5 y2 u, R; T# zI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ k0 q/ t; g; |3 V# z' n
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:& n) A5 X3 t0 u$ R8 M
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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0 {  G7 ]/ u, a, b5 l- xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ C5 e$ T% ]& UAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"$ g4 q; d" B% Y9 y* a8 e

* F# R. t" d/ Z1 d$ K- e% ]I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; [% X1 U- m5 E* l2 e: `' [

1 [. O9 r2 T1 H"What is Roe vs. Wade?"  B5 l- |2 t7 n( C; ]7 h

# t) a$ l5 x# y& D9 EI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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  z) r9 L' J! I8 o1 A' b- AI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( @( y7 r: C4 D" r$ h2 A6 z0 F
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"( E3 j" |' ^! ^' O+ c/ J
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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5 x5 F3 f1 S% {9 h7 b# z5 T9 rThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore." g# d/ q; i# z3 l3 J

: C5 e/ j) L* J0 R3 B) X5 R4 mThank you very much!
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7 x8 F) K5 c! N9 r6 t0 SImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- ?8 ^: r/ I" p3 L/ Z

8 m+ I5 k2 W4 [1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 ^. Z, Q5 M) v9 X" ]& u, `

; t& z' u3 P9 S; e+ k2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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& S* }! w  b3 V8 j, gJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
. w- I' }( p, J) `; R, l, Va young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。2 N! E1 G* F- q; v  c
怎么理解?
( J" `2 d9 j  q2 B, ]5 x50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 6 j6 g7 @1 p: C# D6 N

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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。- f- k9 o5 @/ q" g
怎么理解?
! c- g. y: _9 e! C) k% @# M  `3 e50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
  \: p) n& M( n1 m5 w/ a9 ecyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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( p6 W- h6 S: I; E) o5 x我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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; p# g, V* n; o  d3 c我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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