 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe., E5 S1 N) b X0 n
3 e$ I3 ?3 d4 B5 E8 A( M4 sI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.; O6 Z# Q: S/ z/ }/ v+ l' d/ P+ ]
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ ^' I. N4 T: l3 Y0 E
5 B$ s C7 G# {% _ G! d9 K. XI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! G" U; H& Z$ B0 k0 N, m* u
- Y L5 J, T5 d& @"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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7 }1 N8 N s+ t* oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! ?& _, l& I8 n3 c
" J% `( e- L& I4 b: g. [2 O% d$ bAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"1 U" l7 q( g' ?7 G! d/ c4 L+ ?
~7 L' @' D6 {6 z2 q+ a5 n1 AI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ c, l1 E$ j. t w9 C
9 e+ f9 L! K( u! _; R' j5 W; {, d( ?6 D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?- t& Y: e$ \1 Z* p/ B& l
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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6 K2 x. E. B) T- CI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."/ B ?$ {. ^' b4 W; q; [# K* { p
$ R* q' R3 x& s `6 V x- @, r$ aSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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: g/ t+ W c1 ]+ y! b9 e yNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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4 S9 G# {9 i% VThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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! E& a; | F4 s5 B# I e" rThank you very much!
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4 l1 O+ g. `+ h: N( XImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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7 J n" |5 I1 J- U2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. ~0 n4 }* }& m
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".2 F J3 {& b5 f C
: C* x8 _7 ^6 @/ q0 Y( pRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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- E$ T, p$ C; s/ zThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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