 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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4 Z& A1 h. g$ Q7 VI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 M" R1 |7 P7 u" {3 pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"$ r; h5 M( w; R2 M
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ _9 I. ]- u+ i# u& C' b
5 {9 u3 w! f, e* z z- EAnd the second one was:4 K" P7 c7 _3 E& M
, t5 ]% Z& i7 H( v. H# V"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 j: j' ]5 ~ M% @# ?I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 b* y: X# X5 w0 r
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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5 ^! O+ V- @( c2 C3 n( C2 VI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?9 S) z5 g3 V" j( J5 B& B" J
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."5 {( x/ N3 x1 q/ M+ o P: R
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 |8 ]3 `1 U7 W* ]) a2 l7 GNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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1 i& u( ^) F0 _3 c8 _: NThank you very much!
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" ^: e1 e! W. a* b1 n2 E$ j3 h3 GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:' S. V) r4 q) N" c/ z
& z h: c" O" P3 J1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill. B4 e* U E- S% {; a
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.) z/ J: e# M M% }% a% h+ C: [
2 U, J, k! _9 g: M" h"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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8 }0 o/ l5 s7 [3 q, [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".9 b+ I9 ^; O$ f. v, p
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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) N0 B* J9 w3 HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
