 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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1 |7 F+ y6 {/ s) [: `6 h3 VI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.$ M% c' H8 C4 F: ]4 `) e# f
9 U% `) m& o5 y! U" n. b; U EI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.2 {$ n; q+ G6 M8 |
, W& Q0 k x2 H7 n; VI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* V' S, C8 O# v& y
0 b9 R# M2 n# j2 n4 @* w# P"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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1 w) ]. n! m5 t/ vI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:8 V5 O# X, U3 R7 ^/ Y0 Q
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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A% X% s! a' V; A- {. g. e, ~* H( `I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!: l0 G9 s0 Z8 H! Q
1 I2 ]5 W- s, T% F ]I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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. g) O3 k0 H) ^. `So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ x& U* f+ Z0 {0 y6 L6 B, D
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 a* |# R' c8 `' O
+ S3 O% ^8 ^$ v0 o* [/ C6 xThank you very much!- ^+ M: V* L2 s7 P; x: m) h/ h
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% s9 d- w- j N+ K" _, l2 b- C GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% | r, m- T. V) ^
' P0 ~9 l. m2 |2 r6 x& Z( m1 Z0 v2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! y) N. V, s, `; w* p
! r( C9 @* ^ ?/ k8 A0 _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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Q2 b1 V1 e5 M0 i, p6 F1 r& @The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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