黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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$ J& y* ]6 _  q9 m! \3 kI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

7 l4 c* T8 l7 Q5 \I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

+ u3 Q: [) H; j7 J% RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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: d; F6 ^8 }, J* ^2 `6 WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

And the second one was:

"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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1 M( _3 r6 [0 F- b: _1 b- ZI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

: h9 A9 d6 Y* L2 Q3 ?9 X* K9 D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?

: Z( V) |2 T0 k4 ^8 s& EI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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5 T2 h# O* @- e$ rI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

) }$ w- h) T5 @7 L) i/ o4 kSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

( J: h/ b' n% g4 H2 C" ~% Q+ TNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

% j) f4 ^1 W/ B5 q# G8 IThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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. g1 e& a& W  x1 Y' sThank you very much!
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* F* J( a( w8 H0 n" V==========================

( z: w0 g5 M/ I1 x7 _5 EImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

+ o3 X* J% r  o4 h5 F. v8 r2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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* _  G7 f% m9 @3 e$ \Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.

9 F5 V# l$ a" {; w6 FThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
' I8 _0 ]# ]3 J: f' [  k0 _( Ia young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
* z& S7 i+ W% H3 k; b: U怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116


不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
" f/ i& i) X, M! s. y" W+ _怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
3 j1 M3 g  h0 Wcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.