 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 n9 P9 C0 u4 \6 }) o/ j; d* ?) p2 f
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.) o U2 G: K' _. |$ r4 W& l2 i
( G; ]" Q) z" zI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 a! \2 L: i- ?
! f/ r, G) p1 s3 H2 |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:) s& g7 n, @/ `# ?8 y& o
* R. q8 c4 [0 W2 m/ o, q"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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! K2 o6 v% V& s/ ~- ]9 {2 A"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 d3 A' v% L- c2 ?7 M
$ {6 P; T0 N9 E0 [7 y) N+ u5 J"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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! l3 Z U: Z! G+ II was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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3 v- ?- T6 D% p7 D6 c- w2 kI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; {; O7 A& H/ V
: u# f& `. c+ \. | `0 G) uI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ V/ M w$ Y) o8 f
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.. d! H2 p4 m9 W2 k( S
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Thank you very much!9 i" D; [# S0 m. f' T0 x0 ~8 b" @
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; r* i8 }$ I; Y* HImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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& i; c k* x5 r! z% `, u1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) w/ T4 W" l7 \
6 O1 \. N6 R% x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms. H/ Z! g7 F! `5 S6 w
. P! V0 K A& Q U% J s"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: s9 @9 I, Z$ Y8 M, W2 w C1 o
* P, L* D& k) O% EJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".! g/ H8 H9 }! a' p& m6 o/ N. Y- H
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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