 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.) A. G+ V' G x4 [
0 ^# S, D$ j6 u1 |9 N9 c$ `I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:5 F' E1 n; |2 ] X$ H
$ c) ~' f V+ d' S, z. ]! M"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"# @. g: N, h7 z/ l
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 \7 D- ^) O3 F; l
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 B# r( \) `: U7 o$ \
) I u% O9 c$ ], }9 I$ nI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. e6 h, u X, x9 @: V3 ~"What is Roe vs. Wade?" Z& q7 w% d9 v# ]7 B7 s6 ?+ `
7 k% p4 ]+ s4 [* U, v5 DI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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* o! j- o0 K! \ h5 ]7 ZI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& C3 R# f# O y2 c" K; a+ z
+ u4 O" D" v0 rSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# N/ O# C2 N& D- m, c
8 P0 m& }1 A' u' [5 G4 cThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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4 H2 l# V* k7 d1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.! Y' Q- V' X x, ~* c5 L, G
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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) q; \; B1 q0 ~9 V3 F$ T0 x"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- S3 _& v. f+ t; b
8 G1 i- p2 r' b1 p; w- K' tRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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8 d1 P# T0 ~4 m; I9 ~# L7 {The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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