 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& l# }3 M( c4 O7 ~. q' E* a* Q
" C. V. d g* {+ `% [- ~I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:: O# w- k! F+ W" K' \ c/ I
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 |% C! {$ f G+ m& K7 p* Z# z3 W0 C' U6 ~9 _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ ` L! R5 \% jAnd the second one was:
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0 k4 f. p% A% \0 r4 {6 p"What's the 2nd Amendment?"6 ^: D# z+ y- V8 g% R
- o7 P7 b3 c- \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ g( T: E! I/ V/ _9 ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 |& H3 p) R. X
$ M& d) @+ L' |, k9 s/ lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 Y- ?% [$ E' v8 q5 {; E
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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7 Q4 m4 S' U3 X4 ^' {+ e0 y% q$ W, G: bI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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5 R' z) p/ X5 C, j# JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"- f) L( F" G. G. x/ F
/ d& \. [, n* |Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 P1 m( F) f# ]
+ A L+ d" E2 m/ K5 ]0 n2 T$ t! qThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 J! i) P |% i5 @8 e: `4 G
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Thank you very much!; V7 |4 l) m! [) D& q; K6 ~% Z/ C! ?
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" [# b; n5 e- G; C! hImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: ^0 c4 G% s9 g# g0 }. A2 ~
& H9 P: d) D v9 m1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.( I( @, Y$ H$ e/ Q6 L- n
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ T, ]8 p7 Y9 c
5 W% I. U# n K9 Q1 c! w, w# wJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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