 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.) D' `( ?6 `% E2 A* s1 H& u& W; ~
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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" m/ N$ }' H4 R5 ~2 DI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.( e/ V5 d; o# M' z6 H
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:3 j: S* w' B# k
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"% ~8 @2 D8 L8 n" Y
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; s" Q( [5 h4 m4 Z( X
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"3 R4 m5 e% f- P, @# d. S* L& \
6 u- s F$ o/ X- P. u" h" zI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"8 f5 o0 g; e8 f3 J m
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?: d0 b1 ?* b: x3 r+ v6 b, z7 P0 D
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!# ~7 r4 S# Q. X' s( [5 R
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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6 y7 b9 }8 r( j) w @" ]So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?", u+ h( p! \5 E5 c1 ^
1 U! \) x# v) s5 R; z9 HNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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! R- o) k l6 KThank you very much!0 t! C3 \* i* q/ q
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms. l, e1 t* F# B; Q
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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; V7 t, d5 u3 M( O: { ^Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".$ ^% ?7 u5 M4 r, {& a
3 I! Q$ k0 w. \3 a, M9 S; CRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ S8 Z! h3 p, ?, P
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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