 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 B7 B$ R; i( J( T" \1 N6 Z! u
& G9 p6 W- L) N$ UI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.2 a% t. x; L; F2 A' J. ?' m- E2 T
) I0 V* Q, \; g& F% H- |: F; fI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 O; ^' ^# r3 m8 \
\) o' R$ u* y K. e"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 R* k0 ^1 U) ?" h7 v
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 L' M$ T5 h' y' U3 R# z
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And the second one was:+ a5 N' {0 l: p9 B# c! M! o$ Y0 z' S0 H3 Y
( D+ @3 n& M9 S$ i$ o"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) {: F3 p( o/ k: ?# m6 m( `, @5 H1 e
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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" U- [' }3 O& W/ ?2 S( I! gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?4 H T2 p9 b* t$ a8 X
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!' S \9 j7 a, k7 C" b" h
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", ^5 e! J3 L( n: @/ ~& @* D
* r) W1 y* x- d* D3 E& RSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"$ b7 [7 c1 I. J9 ]! W
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”1 |* z( z# E# P, Y8 M
8 M5 u8 {: q) \# jThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.( b0 x! S8 C" z3 [# }. C
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Thank you very much!( S. \9 ^7 ] G
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! C/ r- u& Q8 \9 n1 Y$ \; R$ q
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 Q" t1 r v5 {1 Y
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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9 c: ~3 j! L# i; j) S% `"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".# F' }. R5 i& D) B$ Y
) m. h8 _6 E7 r5 w" KRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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4 A7 n+ U' m3 r$ G" h' cThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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