 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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* m1 t$ g0 R iI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* @; s$ R9 `# H0 @6 u: G% `; @
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. ^5 @+ c$ E. A6 g
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:% N9 d! t7 d( @: C; `; b
* @( N3 T5 Y% V0 V5 Q. D+ S8 B"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 w' r, N+ q$ C" { L
! k& n/ @/ t; D* M" q+ FI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:3 }8 c4 o7 N! R3 \5 _0 d7 d
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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: e' v& C% P4 \) [( c7 i3 ?2 ]; eI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 y5 x# U r3 L" I. M) [" f/ s, T
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* s5 Y: y6 s: |7 C4 I( I# k
) ~& P* {4 k# z7 k3 ?9 ^So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 Z3 V3 P8 W0 W$ z3 x7 ], {/ J3 D
! u5 b: b1 J2 P2 J, jThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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0 J# ?; l4 }$ D" [8 M, uThank you very much!8 u* Q. R* C" E, v. [
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" ]/ q1 C. D9 h7 Z3 A( O k6 hImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.! I" F* J O8 H) c
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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" f* c0 {- t: O4 s8 z& oJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& X! K6 y7 d6 C# ^3 J& x- K' Z+ l
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
