 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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L2 W4 z. s9 ^* G5 [3 iI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.; y3 C- @8 C L. j) R( i' ?
' @# U& |+ y5 }! e+ o7 w$ D/ WI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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% M! d3 D2 V: S8 E. R- u- s h* U) II worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- l% Y6 J5 p4 b
7 m$ o) O: `9 s5 S$ I; Q"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" F! {1 E* k" ^6 z) i9 @
4 F& Y9 e) w% z; y( A, q ?# y) T8 [5 Q/ PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:# t9 t" a4 m; W8 I( H% ~5 F
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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- C) K. i# B) N7 p: {4 p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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% C) O+ @( O5 Q) x: ?: O; l7 {I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( P5 y$ R) u' a
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 l/ [0 w" l, h6 t
0 }8 S: Q i2 g! S1 }Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" L* H! [) c+ P7 Y3 a' p
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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* i& w; m% b3 j* [Thank you very much!
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/ G# e" }& l, \, s* mImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, v0 }' Y- s7 U& e
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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# _& O* d0 v7 }% n" z! P: i% K% b2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.& V7 V! J9 C: A% b/ E/ s
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US., S* y# W6 u r6 O. v" @( M
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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