 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 p. U6 H1 o7 R* e1 b
! \- B) c6 U+ s& vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ w* g% ]. Y. O4 h T- j7 _+ Y
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"4 {0 E: n4 w; ?5 B& Q
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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) h) L9 d2 ~% A' M8 L6 ~0 cAnd the second one was:! P& O6 o. A6 c; C
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; q5 N' a U9 ?; o+ l
. ~/ K- i3 k# UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' o# k2 K" x! O4 D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 Z5 d2 E" O. H# o$ `/ F
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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# b% [: R0 U6 `8 gI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."9 e1 c, r5 S$ c% n& E8 E0 ?" @0 p
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ s A( \% a+ ]! S7 K X! f3 W
- m+ c# i& E& v+ `Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”) x! Q" T! `9 P7 c5 F
0 w1 b; d+ h' {This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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& `; h8 o* ]2 g$ c. {Thank you very much!8 d3 g0 {5 t# O6 ^& S% N
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: n' X2 E) C5 w) u
$ T& f4 F$ i6 B3 x% [! k) u, b1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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* ~1 M/ k" \4 _! J6 w1 L$ V9 D2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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8 ^/ Q7 _, X3 U- k% l6 n"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.' I# U: ~. K# v$ P3 x$ L
6 _7 n- `/ _+ j( e: G/ jJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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9 p0 F g: @& {8 \) E6 ?Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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