 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.2 ^- A8 F( j: E$ i
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.) ]( C e( G/ e* U; p) `+ x
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.+ D, p. \$ @: c' G: V' n
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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8 i# ?. F# |1 Q1 C) Y1 HAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"4 s& y/ s& i- V) S9 m
- y$ r+ Z, h0 c9 Y U' EI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: @3 V8 Z$ A o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"0 y5 P) r3 V3 [/ |5 r* c
' i2 [6 ^% P- J4 H) _- B. {I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States? i$ r2 F# R5 I @7 S3 E
5 M( w8 F8 _( I& GI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!- q: V' W) ]* y2 @
. _4 D/ g F! Y! WI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 G! N/ l) c- U6 U" |1 H! aNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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5 b4 G+ F4 @ bThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; Z& j- y H. y. b/ l( d) _7 Q
& `, G1 `- v5 m, a1 L# t7 k3 l* g1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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x, }0 b' `5 N6 ]( E$ _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# M9 |6 s2 U" ~! E3 b. p
' w u! j. n/ L3 g1 ^; LJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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& ?: s5 E `$ x+ M* Y `7 rRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.- C: P1 p2 R/ r( y( L! n, L2 P
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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