 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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# G/ J$ J O% }8 {( UI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:% Z: V( Z3 a: u4 @- ?8 A
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" @' P+ Z! e3 a% F, n. f
& o2 a3 Y& @& i. ^9 I& XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 S; q0 `! f# u1 z3 J0 E% t3 ^* A, ]
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And the second one was:
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( {4 L S" I* [3 ?8 L"What's the 2nd Amendment?"' N+ q2 L6 G" w* @% _2 E
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 x; U: [1 R# F+ `) H
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?: D6 e4 X5 f# c" B% U, R
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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7 m) Z5 z* R) Y( ^I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", ~. Y6 w2 H* C; |; e* m
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?" K& V4 L- H: t3 R
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" v& c/ ]* w; j O
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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6 @2 u5 z+ X' c+ t8 y _Thank you very much!
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% \+ v, J+ q+ m. E! JImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- u) a* l8 i, x
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* v& o7 ]* E- m
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* ]/ T+ [2 z+ F o
0 `1 U( l- _# i8 ?" U S: g9 dJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"., @& i; `$ d! I. i
K+ M+ w( e9 o2 gRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.) m& L! ~! \) r* K: X& B- B
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
