 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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$ j( g) b d! `; X" PI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.* B; o8 ~9 _4 p9 G; O1 h
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"$ U* y8 F, [' q1 o
. r- Z X2 j! u7 MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: a* B$ N6 l# Q' `; X# R' `
, T& X# {. x: z( AAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 E# R# O) E# r/ D) V1 y" @"What is Roe vs. Wade?") ?2 {; i& s; O8 b+ I# k
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" v j2 A6 T3 `# b0 m
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!* J5 V. y( U$ ]# r& @( `: T
- @! |5 D Q* j' DI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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2 _+ t7 O( t/ K* v3 |; KSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ @5 }+ d+ g2 `9 n
6 T" C8 Z. J: k* p* a8 q: N1 E! WNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 \' ^. i6 P8 `4 ^7 }
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!) F7 p r' g0 x' A" l$ U
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: k V' i* e; ~; L, k8 m+ c6 y
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.4 Q/ W9 J% z% Q
' X) M3 }8 [, ?. b7 @# m# w2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ B5 `, m; L4 h+ _2 y8 q6 H
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.- a1 H% h* m2 s" o. \
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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