 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& }/ L( ]' L( i, o; x6 S# z: {
7 M, g2 q9 R8 i( A+ @ fI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 s/ S4 O) K% ^1 C& U
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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4 T$ ?( j! E# Y1 E# II worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:' S9 W* r8 W$ {7 b
, ?* O/ V3 W# U/ P$ m* c- G"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! N$ A' D$ r+ i7 j2 _2 n
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 u# J9 k+ W/ e' d1 m9 r) w+ |
, Q! H! W( e# z3 A) _9 S) y4 uAnd the second one was:
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3 n5 @- g7 h4 O3 J( e3 q# X" a7 m' c"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ `+ H" z7 j) f: ?7 r2 k
; M/ {0 }5 l2 _4 @ }: o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" P8 N) d' ~0 ]5 @- P( F0 @8 Y* Y
1 _0 m% }4 N0 e$ ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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. w) ^: n- f9 p1 f; W* e) R4 gI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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9 P. t, G" Q$ m) |. C: {I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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3 I; @( Q1 k9 |Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”6 n( U( l% B" D$ E! i: u
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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" X3 s% T1 U9 x: UImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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- W5 m$ u4 q6 r; `& O! x"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.$ {! [( Z# }, t' m1 E
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% c) m a0 s: p! w# ORoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.& L; D: M I$ Q3 _, J, i
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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