 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.1 |; O- y0 i: c7 O) D
; K: {! R1 ]3 f N1 YI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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5 z! U7 ?1 s0 K. NI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 e3 z. U+ @2 p; m* F& d v
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 @8 D3 a' K N# ]2 E- N8 T
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# m* y& ^% O; I- B$ U$ f( z a7 {
' I7 y6 Q. D+ s; F5 HAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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& ?5 \! J1 @2 x3 s7 yI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! o* D, S7 K8 ~/ J5 |" b' c"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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b0 M: P: h1 T3 @7 vI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 Y# w9 z" X$ t8 g6 S) h4 ^; p! U* WI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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+ z( k/ a- H* X1 q2 v, W* q3 D$ c; hI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."0 k( A+ H& a7 ?' M) n
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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8 D+ X4 b& Z) N6 p& nThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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# V( U$ Q! d/ lImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.* r# o, ^4 A* q- U, `" {/ d, V7 Z
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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, D f; f( Z, n; N; q. I3 z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion., b. E8 B6 g( z; X( ]! ]; w+ H& q4 I
' z3 P* \' \9 H& k1 f; ^Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".) }. N G# \4 c! P
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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2 O# R: T: l' x1 @The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
