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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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  D$ F1 b# B4 Y. g: E8 jI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 q/ _& Q+ l/ y, u
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: c4 C% Q3 i6 U& }5 D8 G

3 C7 `6 [  \% s& L/ u6 eAnd the second one was:1 [. D& Q+ k; j( h9 W
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"  |0 d8 e' R+ m6 A6 O

1 t2 J9 T6 o' k  c4 iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ L5 T8 ]0 G8 y6 C4 ~"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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  I% v- _  A3 y& d' W! j, [I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?0 _6 y, H: G2 |) ^9 r$ B2 q

/ B% w  ]3 E# w( s  _* y8 `I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!) S/ E# f& f5 A1 N

' H( r. s* v* N  r1 m# [$ R! EI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 U7 w4 a9 M/ @( Z8 t
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., L6 Z0 g* G8 W/ [8 Y1 B

( J& L! Y& F6 ~" l4 {* d# b. OThank you very much!
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% ~* ^0 ?8 ^) I: j" D; }( B# g1 AImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:# `2 f; }; U' \2 a

4 q+ T4 P+ }5 i1 b1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. x. Q  u8 C( [! O- P" e  B+ N

" u0 w3 ?- @5 F/ L: }: jJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"." h: X& y6 n4 i: P7 n
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( P) {' i' P. S- z# z: p

) |& J0 x7 P! a5 r5 ?" X7 I* ?The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: ! i1 Z! k* _& E- G1 g, I
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。+ I, x& ?3 i+ b7 P; U: |
怎么理解?
2 e0 A' _% Y; e2 }" D: C4 X' l50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。  W; V1 w! u# j3 [: e% j8 s+ w
怎么理解?
2 v& e  _3 @. ]1 B- K3 M8 `50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?+ j. V+ |2 P, Y3 a. R0 R2 y4 n2 b) t
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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; ^0 @" z* N4 C, G2 ^我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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