 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.: M; f" b X6 C# `) V. F- c0 H! q
4 E" ]4 L: T ?9 @& @0 ]I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.: S: H) H3 Q9 c& j1 Q8 r
6 I# {+ V3 g" q$ [! W2 V" gI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.5 G- t3 m. G! n
1 W+ I6 @ @5 v8 y* e3 B
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
( d. S4 f# ?9 I& h( y. m7 ?4 m' y4 h/ X, s3 `: z6 ^' `
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
/ t3 b# U7 f, e+ D" ]+ L& m- {$ V( e$ a) W
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
& M" d) o4 h a) X/ e
* h0 z. q5 \" Z- X! IAnd the second one was:
1 g6 |6 q( g) H" C& i: Y$ R. y1 _( t* C2 g) X9 u; c
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
2 z) c" c P+ v5 A9 X
2 J2 w: ^6 K) xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
) m. S* I1 z) W& {5 X* g$ J+ a- o+ N7 e# p
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! t6 g5 X8 F: r x. m* R
4 r5 t- f u: q( I, X) F
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?, Y) g3 u9 z7 w# Y& h! R; I0 v
( j2 S; S1 J: K* L
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!( F3 G4 q- K4 p$ w
6 A. u( q! c1 I! |6 x' m
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( |6 h4 _2 O) x+ s
9 z5 K* e7 _6 C A. n$ C: uSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
+ `9 k$ v d2 v
, E8 i: W& p! I! E6 J( ]; eNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”1 w" h6 S: t" L2 N# ]" X9 Y
3 z6 A' j$ M. h3 J5 |! |/ r
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 a0 r7 ]; B. q/ C% g
2 p# j0 W8 J& J' |
Thank you very much!
. y5 S& ~! X, _
0 L1 z/ h6 ~; U( U3 M2 N# F==========================& j. B2 I9 e% [3 R: O& Y& O
' {! A! ]& n7 @7 n' A
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:* T3 a# c" W- s) B+ |' f& y
7 b6 n5 z* L. l7 m" A( R
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.0 }" I3 W' F6 d
0 _5 O+ X: C" Y! [: `& g# h
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.+ J( Q5 h9 i+ z" x; ]1 R
3 L4 t/ c1 `- ?. a"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
% a( d0 o* }+ ?* ~* F, @
7 k, D" b1 {5 S9 lJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
6 M4 j1 o1 V( h: c: Y7 U" ]- T8 l3 x! A- m* v3 B; G
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
8 ]) m* V; D1 b9 r( g
2 k7 w( f( z7 ]+ V+ hThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|