 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 q. a' z0 q( L* W& N) Q
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 n. h" D3 ]# K! }" C* \1 a1 f
% \2 w* p& t0 q zI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like: C0 i5 v- X* `
# a8 N1 F% b! b& j! U"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 S/ J" B" h4 S( y
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" j, @+ J2 \; r# ?6 E0 |& x; S
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"4 ] s) q) l' m- L2 F" w) w* I2 r
, q) u- @3 I- d5 xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& O7 ~1 i8 \0 ?" O7 s8 W/ J"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' t/ B9 f0 Y% R, Z K
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ a* @2 a6 T0 F: W, {
4 y0 O: _2 `" o) S, hI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!( z* E8 W! R/ m9 k- M
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ B9 @+ C+ [0 {* s
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# o6 }9 p: j, j. r
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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( {+ a5 }- A/ L" \1 r" z8 F1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." f- t7 ]8 R& \% |+ \1 ~, j$ p
8 ^- ?0 M5 x' R3 Z+ D"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 s# i. T! ]4 U3 M: B0 r
! p, X) n% i e4 B4 g4 PJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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3 W# K, U6 }5 l/ KRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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) O @3 A$ T2 n5 F! p% @- qThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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