 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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+ O! V1 b6 b+ X& p& F% }7 QI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.+ m, l: t7 c& U' R* f
* Y$ N3 G0 X# E! J( y( mI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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7 `; }# q7 k1 Z& }# ^"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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" M: A1 d- |) S4 p" j+ O" sI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! P' Z3 |; s9 h- S/ E7 C- jAnd the second one was:$ b, [* I: M& i" ^" Q" v
5 j. | D2 w& K1 q"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! s: T, m1 B- T4 [ F- W- G
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 ], m) p8 p# \# J
! A# P: n0 m, |+ o6 f1 w& S0 t"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' c0 X% w9 D) _6 T, ~: U
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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' D; ^! n% Q K' j$ |I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!6 f0 z& D5 ]! F; y2 @
; I" o" e5 C! t+ _I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."6 F* }" C! n# i7 s2 H
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”7 r" {' U* z7 j. J( d) W8 u7 D
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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0 s+ Y5 [& t3 u! d7 w; V4 yThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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, |7 i0 Z6 k9 s8 e; }3 Z* _' v6 y1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.! \$ E; k, Z7 C" d7 _/ |2 W% h
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., J% [1 G Q. i J
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.! Q% L, D: U; r; v5 F& ^
) l4 [0 B/ F+ a+ ^# V, hJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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