 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
" G1 P; b) j6 ?9 ^1 B
/ z @. b7 }' E/ R$ b" ?I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.! S1 q n0 @4 e8 K1 I: O% R! w
# M! a4 w2 H& s" ~, p% o$ YI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.2 t+ Y" y4 K8 a% t
8 i3 R/ }! c8 L- @( L
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
5 `3 m" |8 H* C4 ^3 r( ~ u
8 a' E" k" {9 l2 H"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
. E2 ^2 D& p# G# [: E2 o4 {( o B x3 S8 h1 A f0 M" @% Z- P+ w
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
/ {# O" Y( @' P( Z( `$ D9 o- A! L8 b9 o( F' M
And the second one was:0 L( `! _- K. `# c7 J
4 F' g. z3 @; v5 J4 k5 d5 Q
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
8 W5 L- S* L8 S; L& I2 C0 A$ l x6 C$ O5 E, m5 I6 H
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 {) O( I0 z% ]8 d$ U3 |
% ?$ [/ g7 V; [. w, {"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
( u# \% I. t9 n7 ]5 k9 U, L
% c' H" \$ ?/ k/ R Z. }I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
+ M8 ]! J2 C9 ~1 e. p# b6 I
" n/ r P: I3 N$ ~" R V: G1 v9 mI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!' `6 P) y8 G- E7 G5 V7 i8 K6 g9 F7 G
- v& X" x) j' y9 R9 ]
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
' x$ B, Y9 T/ P4 v* B1 Q! N) y3 a! Z) p: m4 v! A0 h
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
# z( r1 p7 y' ^, ?. g: ]+ K/ B; a! O- L9 O. w" r
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
) |, J$ D3 I q3 U/ e/ O0 W# S& |1 A; D- s0 D0 e
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ D. i6 T3 V1 ?' D& n7 T- d" @
( \8 W5 R6 Q5 G. v0 i1 UThank you very much!
& {" F- y1 D: x$ S5 {
( }' J' c9 m+ c* B: u==========================
% z7 B/ m0 H! u! l8 @$ `$ J; |& P( B& h) X* J; m, \
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
. q; ?1 [) T$ a% U5 c5 y. `2 K9 q1 R+ R
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
: R n/ h- x) e s; @! a, F) \ k+ z% z4 C
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.+ R ]' b6 C* s5 N# E8 [; a
- G" {5 R! b: P0 E
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
6 k( ]( o. L/ Z5 a8 a
; D- R, O w8 B6 sJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
3 C, i) }$ L& g- D1 A4 @% p# b, m" H \' L1 S
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.- K1 B1 f9 _5 R- E8 @4 W" o
5 Q0 i+ \- m' U% @* y" t7 K
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|