 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ P. `0 K3 {, K$ u3 ?( f
* ?0 |4 x8 C; S1 |; \I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 H0 T9 t. S. ?; q$ P. n s
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.' [3 f( { Q% u# d
! F! e" Z! p# b1 x" }( dI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"7 @& q6 ^# u/ B p( ~
O9 X5 F9 ~ Q8 q, p) hI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' m$ `. ]2 t9 p: R1 {* ~* E0 |
7 C" t8 z: I5 b2 r& X( p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 E' o) ~1 B+ ]! y( q: G6 v
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”2 V4 l8 q3 l/ J1 [; s7 D0 R
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.* E$ ~0 B! `1 F9 u6 P
- m: A5 | K0 m0 g/ m$ h2 sThank you very much!9 @; w1 }% _, V2 ^+ u7 x
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- D+ Q- p6 K$ l1 Y2 gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2 y R2 W/ z3 P& j9 W2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ j7 W; b V1 @/ ]
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% C& s: A& E7 N+ D. Y; n& aRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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. w6 e' F9 X0 e0 f" c: rThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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