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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.7 p# Y% ~# z, d. k& i
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years., ~8 u8 d2 Q  P* ^" n

* C5 a: e  i6 p6 V7 ^5 X  ~' jI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# q4 `' r7 z7 q3 Z* _8 L+ i
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 e- a# a- Z9 J
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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; v+ P) h# ^1 P1 t9 KI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ W+ E, ?3 J! v1 \* B* ]3 d2 V2 G

( g" B" m+ K6 J8 oI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."6 r) Q* X2 r4 {6 r. h1 ?' K
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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  p$ a! b. L$ qNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 w; r" V0 f, D) Y+ m, y

: H% E* k' T1 Y1 }This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.+ N8 O# W9 d- \9 E' c
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Thank you very much!
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==========================
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. J- \1 n6 r3 ^$ J  ~Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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0 L5 G; s! c/ E: m" P1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& v9 A5 S0 Z2 \8 E% ^- v
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 5 k" c9 O% J' F: F' r
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。8 p' t5 l9 q  b" x, D: I- C; H5 t  [
怎么理解?
( z5 C; O; b" Y4 s! X4 H" J50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
7 V: d" X" R8 D4 L# L1 c怎么理解?
- H% ]2 l# Q, ~8 a  ?$ y50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?+ {$ F# ?- R) d
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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- e$ l# u5 g. |- G, q我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳 / {- T! g; ^; `8 d1 Q" l0 G1 Q, K0 W  \

9 @* u1 x0 z7 y" J我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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