 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. A2 x, C" I% AI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 ?$ ]8 O5 g7 M, J
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# C6 ]8 m- M" Y) G
/ t, i- d; m) d, b"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 A& _( K# K" E# Y' M6 l H$ g6 G
& l/ h2 z6 B8 N5 E2 d/ ~" `! {And the second one was:
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! j* {( ^$ t9 M- B"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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" n$ r; I' g$ q+ W; r- N8 ~; F2 _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! h; n# y0 s1 m8 T"What is Roe vs. Wade?": W2 u; _ H- I3 N7 l
$ B* [2 Z. f9 Z9 II was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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; W% }. F E0 L+ e- R! qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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7 i" o& \9 L, l0 l9 `; WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") y" g) [1 G4 r" Q
' ?6 [& E! i0 n3 \6 F' MNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% v- y0 K9 B6 T, V
1 H0 s l* \7 C$ fThank you very much!
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6 a# L- ~4 J/ H& W==========================
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/ N$ j" p& w* L/ _$ Y1 w$ p+ _" gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 T1 P' [) g% U; O# T
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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; h: S, B6 K) g2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* z$ t- c$ b5 y: N
% U D0 t9 P. A! V7 z/ p' ?% i, L"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( D8 f5 ]. C5 o) S! M2 F5 g
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 Z4 b+ `2 T0 V* j4 U- X( O+ B
* a. E+ y7 h, |) Y" `Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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