 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& x$ l4 U% H% z2 {0 ^- h, Q4 D! f
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 B+ y5 x( j1 W+ j2 Q' m
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:$ B' L/ r/ j+ O: y
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"' q- k5 W9 _+ [5 ~
- N+ y+ r; R' KI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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% s1 \' v3 `- ]0 a0 W( M"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! K; X# m- _. q) v* n5 Q/ g* T
) c! l, m& `+ \% H; \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ Z9 g7 I7 d6 ]0 k# Q
( H5 c( ]: Q7 _/ J8 o: o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"1 k# l" _5 E' R, m7 X" p
4 X: X" q2 I6 S3 r8 A) iI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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! I( M0 J( J5 V* f; { D5 I0 Y8 sI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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: ?: R" l, ?' |- K; UI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" l, Z$ l$ r j# A" m, J* `
@' r/ A1 Z$ Z% R# V$ zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ k; A1 m3 \& h, R$ d& s
+ W+ I. f: ?6 z2 I; [% VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”2 @ _8 u" }8 J1 d9 _- r
) \$ F, W- ? G# ?( i" e* v9 PThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!, h& V/ e# w3 A* P
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.7 ?1 w5 D; [- Z" b4 p- b
! l) t3 u: `1 R( r' E' B" ~2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# U0 y/ |! B; B% T$ o
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. K0 O# Z5 ~, \& Y. B
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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n& y1 M6 ]! O2 qRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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2 ] @$ _ Y1 S0 Q* q. ZThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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