黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
, {( k& L) d  o3 n. u
7 l# b# ~& P6 r# cI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
/ z; S! R' u4 F+ N
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
3 @% N! b' ^, [' |# m
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
, `/ E1 i2 M0 }0 u, ^5 p3 D
4 m6 s: f$ P( q! II was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
8 x& ~8 n/ Q& S2 K8 a* n
6 W8 c4 l# a; AAnd the second one was:
1 u9 H$ |7 |& t0 }
  B1 T1 R+ n2 @6 e"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
; r* z$ S5 O" k( ~. |
" F, M3 e4 Z, [2 W"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
9 H# w9 |; {& \- }* w( |5 G! ^+ _
: v9 x9 M0 d5 E7 g7 G' p1 P: rI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
7 P  B. Z; r* S2 l/ Q6 L
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!

I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

/ s, ^! J" R8 K" N5 N' hSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
! }! ^- u5 l, h4 x. D
% g1 g. W$ V; [. U8 E$ uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
# i) R/ B, {2 }8 Y( t
Thank you very much!
- d4 \& R0 a, r5 {1 o( Q
==========================
3 j0 Y  c+ Y3 U1 v- ~/ d
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

# B; U+ O0 ]; A* f1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
  g% H6 O6 U) M% s
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

& |2 l% k  e3 w  q, m6 |Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

- l* Z8 k* C6 j6 i2 M6 b3 p9 @Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
# C  l2 r; x. M' f! H# C
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
% M1 {6 ]6 S: o) Ca young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
/ a- n3 u# F, a怎么理解？
  ^# L0 {8 X" H+ x/ t50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
) T! Y: B) \: \- G3 m2 ]8 I7 r
+ B" J+ `$ O( x# ?! b, d) N
不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
" Q: A* \9 S* H6 b( W8 O5 V+ ~# c8 ]5 M" Fcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

1 n3 [& i) a6 y+ p0 R
我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
) t" V4 s# v) y; @+ M. {
我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.