 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
( w3 U2 Y3 X# e7 s
% j. D7 N3 P2 w( Y6 X0 ]2 mI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.' M/ B; ` g1 @5 t
! m3 I3 w' @# O7 g5 T: rI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
; A h% @' W+ X. W: ~% c0 d+ [, {$ y P- I
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:$ @8 {7 o) D% a2 X1 c4 {& Q) [" l
* @/ @+ q: Q* G9 A
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"9 ? o9 `) N$ ?, U
& N! M# ?3 r% ^0 J% E4 }I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) V% t' Q1 v% ~' N2 S
& O4 H- }& ^) N7 ^
And the second one was:, U" t, m' g" R- o: U
3 V2 J, ]9 q7 m) i! K3 s8 \"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( g6 H. T6 Z$ Z" \/ a' B
' Z/ d1 @* O5 W/ p4 h
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 ^. Y' B/ @( Z1 q/ M
9 T8 Y0 Y3 B5 t6 |8 c: h) S Y
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 e( F' J* b: D( ^( [0 M
- W8 \0 d( T J( TI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
9 ?! d# O Y8 V: W. y1 e5 a$ O
7 m. L i% S1 y \% f0 X1 EI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
. Q% n" D/ z0 y! `/ s$ J3 {
; _( \% a! }( N3 fI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
4 t% o2 w7 F4 @2 g* ~6 {! r8 i/ P) T4 l" z: ^6 C
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"# P/ E* I# C3 l! ?% F
~; X0 E1 N& }! l9 r5 g' H
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
% W1 {2 @ s; i2 k, Q" T: `
6 }5 O! H. z& W3 V) G1 |This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
# {5 i: ^/ G5 }" a6 S @
: \) s/ p" Z4 z& |8 L6 ?+ LThank you very much!+ c- W% n8 I. z$ }+ H9 c9 B
# w4 r& _( X: G, w! L% o
==========================8 R- N9 K* a! ~
( ]" l) J0 a. F9 }
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
6 D1 n" k. T. T' M6 {, H- r6 V" M$ |
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- j+ f7 a9 k, u6 y
V1 b* g' S0 R. L- O' o2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
1 x$ ]0 P6 ^/ K8 [3 g) v! p# @5 y- [: s1 p
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
0 K1 }& A, ?( t! s
, L, Q L2 e% G d! Z; c3 oJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
. j- W- j1 T( {. x& T& Y
- T7 M; c9 V/ S4 c& @; w- ZRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.7 o4 B* q; M7 H" p6 X+ v6 R
% X, a) ?% H* E' o* [# A3 tThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|