 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
8 P' c* Z0 T* S9 @
& G1 E8 e8 Y; C, a5 _I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
}6 r; ]8 W" j0 g! I% K; S X* i$ z% F$ R* B) e A
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
4 p% F8 B8 U$ j4 E) S4 U) Z* \/ J" `
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
. N8 L0 R; O* l9 j
) h' e ^) S0 X"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- F9 a( T5 g I$ i- n
9 V6 v2 I i# A! O: g& w0 K" k
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
7 F' R2 V/ W( z) p7 P8 C/ u
4 C7 W3 Q$ \9 |- d7 |And the second one was:! [: ]- [3 c. C6 @, l7 O q: }! L
9 d. o' e6 I, A) R( u
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"- B- b. T% _/ [3 k
4 g- a5 G7 ^2 G" L }: R$ G7 kI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
) Q X9 E' {4 T9 t
3 @9 {2 V1 U+ Y W"What is Roe vs. Wade?", E8 y% a. S3 c7 q) G9 L7 [9 |
% R% T& d) R5 K7 NI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
$ n' P, n9 p, q$ h$ k7 y% Z, @% W6 n' @( t$ _
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
4 W8 \( z) A: n- y; W- \: h5 [* ^5 d; r9 L2 t
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
- m$ U1 h i) N# F2 M8 B: W
: f; t1 ?: c- K' S6 b. \! N; }/ eSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 s/ z& Z7 ^# [. e
2 ~* R% b' r+ E& |( Y$ cNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”6 x2 y" a# _* T/ P
0 W, J$ j. v# U; V! r6 gThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 R7 r* h7 |( d N; V. s# Y
7 i a) f& `$ p& x) T& V
Thank you very much!
- C; C' z8 l- b
9 d0 K) ~+ V. b+ |==========================
; y% A4 W1 t& I: v" o
8 K' _2 S' q% m9 R- kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1 f. h5 C, c( S, w' \8 T* j i
/ a% u" I* @8 Z' v* w# W$ X |: m& d
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
* l* Q) W! m; Y& m& a8 k% S" h" K% e+ [% c' z* d6 L) }
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.1 O. @: Q9 c4 U9 q/ S( R
/ A8 a P! y6 g# |% O9 h
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
" B, t+ k4 A1 ?" O. M; R; R D& x" O3 q) f9 H3 `8 H0 j
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
& E0 O9 h# M1 a/ U) B* U
0 M9 a. R: @ y9 g6 z. TRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
: `0 x+ R/ B4 i' `
) V) R0 p- m* @- K& }6 S7 g" e! @; HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
