 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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3 \, j9 E. C, M- N* O C: {I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 C& D# [7 Z" v
5 X- {- {; [, A$ x' L% uI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:$ y& A( y; ^+ p* L; D
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( q9 c' S# O4 v$ p6 ]1 H, M
7 t) o# F$ B. I" TAnd the second one was:
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5 M% Q0 q3 L$ u4 v8 ~- B' _"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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p. Q2 C& S: ?( k"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?7 J& T) m" g$ x# y( V; U1 E
' [ t6 U( @# |% g0 j2 [/ R. tI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!1 K, A" O, J. ^& K3 a# a+ _. |
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."7 s( O. A5 C4 u8 K) ]+ b
' I/ A7 N& y/ Y" x$ M# n dSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"# `+ T- l; N, w% y7 z7 L" p. A
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 q) U& p: T. d, t6 C
! E( I# [" ~& j1 |# p4 v. V' _5 BThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- q2 }+ h" F* b* r( O& j/ P" X; w
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Thank you very much!! K1 `2 J- |, ? s4 U
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:$ h3 v6 z) S8 S( N7 B5 a
: O; l1 j1 X$ p1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. N Z- ^! E, @. w* J
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. N$ `# d8 b. b5 m9 v3 A) c# b' ^
3 I7 h, [% g O# u0 u& s% K- B' JThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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