 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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h3 L& i3 }% e! ]( d: oI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. M5 ]: A( K1 v" H q& d5 N
' X4 z: h: s# j! ?5 |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! v, \1 {7 b+ }8 e& T4 `% Q# n3 `- l
: }+ Y+ a8 k$ `, k3 L1 n0 \, o jAnd the second one was:( p+ s: Q6 t" _, B: T7 |/ q
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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$ y( I3 N: b( |. h9 r0 HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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3 u8 a( g$ ?) b1 N7 \6 R- z# G% tI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 k- g0 ]/ l; e
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 P8 @4 t( s ?9 F0 {2 v; I! f
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.* b/ O6 l; E8 q# Y9 B( r- i
' S1 H B# _3 o3 T/ O2 p% oThank you very much!7 M3 D; c/ R$ X) f- ]0 h
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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5 z: p& h# C t; l; @; ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.0 X% L6 N/ t3 s; c3 _% \
# V! k. Q' t) W! a) P% z) ^2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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2 d+ a+ I: n, u% P; w"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 B, Z, i% d* K |7 J7 u% I' e
- L2 w; x" K7 \Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". z# X$ ?0 n! ^ B
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.) E! G% V6 v/ ^! Y( A3 M
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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