 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.- z' C; W8 U6 C: k
- u( @# d$ S6 P" ]) pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.- ~+ @5 ~5 k3 N
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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1 p5 `2 X, z9 c8 XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ f+ `" `6 \/ D6 g; KAnd the second one was:
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' p: A/ x' E+ f% n+ V3 X4 a"What's the 2nd Amendment?". d6 I$ f" w+ L5 P4 t" k5 O/ J
; f6 [8 T+ t7 O/ Y* FI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 u0 ?- ^' j5 Z' t# U"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 R( I/ Y* k. p9 W8 g* Z+ }/ |
! V8 d5 U+ c3 C& t mI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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0 @2 Z5 a2 [/ |/ CI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; t$ y9 N" l8 M# t6 U4 _& M
6 k9 a9 r! O; T9 Y4 K% _I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( p8 `. {7 U7 ] r
+ {8 u5 ~4 b1 y7 d1 hSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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% a4 A2 `' |+ D; f3 DNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 B* ?: t3 v7 z' i; P0 B
H3 G2 A5 C/ K: PThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- f6 Z* U' S8 E u% F- X& s1 Z
( I' X* V6 l* j/ T' f: f& ]Thank you very much!! R2 U! @9 t* t' c2 H( c1 z1 x3 c- f
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+ G) e4 P% w6 a* D( |Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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- l# H+ ~7 B# G- b' a: E1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill." Y3 [0 R5 }7 q9 |9 Z! u) H' T% X
" e7 z- e4 [* s2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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0 k i4 ]( I; e; E& i* fJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".4 N2 {( N! O: z v
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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4 B3 X9 j* `2 N9 {6 ^The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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