 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.1 T4 c" b5 P% ~; F9 x( ~6 }
& k" w% B& p: D! G, l* [# G8 FI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 ]. K) {" D. p5 V5 F7 F
. V% S, Q* w* UI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.$ [4 M) p/ c& `8 F8 T
, W1 a9 q, @7 L9 p/ x( YI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
1 D% h2 a+ K" [ U$ o3 x* m9 J, Q: P+ {9 h' S9 M% a
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 V2 i' k' b+ ?7 Q. g0 ^/ _
4 P- N2 p" I) v1 R
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
; S: J8 U5 L- D% A! Y; e$ i( d/ N9 R( q) Z6 Y- b1 w6 B
And the second one was:
/ h0 H3 C8 E# W6 }+ d# f7 `
^, }# o8 T9 e8 z"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
+ _0 l6 }5 M$ I6 w' p* y6 q. U K- {8 D9 w4 u
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
) A1 e0 K; t- r& u8 G# A0 F; ~3 T' D$ d5 K" t- ~3 @$ a; \ ]
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
# @3 B8 P; X" V! l( |6 I
4 H8 D/ V3 ^4 N' Z! TI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?- w5 b6 D, a" \+ I, @& j* r
- A# |- }/ h" Z% }, G! m
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
6 `" D* [# J P1 t, R9 }1 ^
1 q+ s4 C; j8 Q. X& QI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.": y9 q1 l. O$ U" D3 G3 u
5 I1 t2 T, J% ?9 Y
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?" I; Z N" X7 c
" p1 A, x9 b1 P: j+ h/ P4 d, QNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
; c+ H* ]) k+ L( R9 A# H
$ H4 S7 M' H9 l, }- ~This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' Q' y: A# S, c
4 A! {; l- o( h. M
Thank you very much!" g/ v& f7 n% |% ~. P; V$ u2 Z, P
& G; X0 J9 a! f1 d& w8 i3 ?
==========================
9 ]+ ^! }& H1 }! T, O. U2 u
1 q0 W0 D) R$ T/ U) v9 I2 c: IImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- ]% Z5 y9 W) \- J7 T$ y
' C4 J3 @, s" a: f* ?9 G8 R9 k$ N
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
7 d# a- o2 U3 w! c+ L7 u1 ~
, C, v9 @9 g6 r2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.% Y7 x9 C, g$ G$ ~0 I' s: w" d
% _3 \1 h$ ?0 j" Y
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: b' r' P5 n* u0 T* I8 n
; t Y2 g9 {( \8 D( J- g
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
% b) g+ L7 w6 Q# @) g, _/ Q$ O, ^* j; M! P- }( t5 i: ^) g
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.$ Y7 \2 G b, O4 Q( k+ J- a; Z
$ d4 A) r# l IThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
