 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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X# {2 A6 R( m! j* D& N1 pI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.( W! q, {6 l+ a7 T5 z" G9 g
" U/ z# Q- v6 N6 fI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 h5 L$ Z2 C$ L5 y& [( }
* a% T' N% n; E: a/ _ S0 s"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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/ C8 t3 w, f$ _! q5 H5 LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) U8 L8 x! b9 h0 x9 x" @. E: M
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And the second one was:
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! h! u8 j( M8 U& P"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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" `- ]" G" b6 F* x8 E4 {, S3 GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- L `+ C2 ^9 Q0 A/ L
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) ]7 C3 u& y* u9 Y3 |4 a
* W! A6 m5 h* qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 F) h2 I' d( Y' A
1 f6 n3 ?* c% D3 ?I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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+ Q. }1 v8 G+ K! WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ A, A( o9 G( D9 E6 g
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”& e( A' m6 t" c' T9 c
: u# M9 l: d* R. M4 ^+ }This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!- p; ]9 k; f" _. ]- e1 `, G
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 O* E3 [0 h% c! ~2 X5 Z" t
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.' v; e$ W7 ^$ C3 y; a4 _) d3 \+ i
+ J6 m6 m7 n3 G' kJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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: f6 y8 y8 X6 B9 C0 i9 A2 m: qThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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