 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.% V7 B$ x k6 D- V, a0 T; Q
# T2 Q2 s$ A* u9 G) hI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.$ J( i) Z1 w! W% u* L& g& M7 l
8 O) k3 Y2 [% E0 W" W+ |. |0 ]I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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2 u5 E# P2 D# d" y5 |3 KI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, B1 K! h& s0 @
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# o, p- O# y+ i7 @# L- j
9 d$ L% P, C( P7 R/ M* _# a# U, N"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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# W$ q0 U* O) r- B' N- }I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?# h6 T$ E z- a- ^/ _
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% I+ A! Q6 X C* n
+ [& E: T2 z1 ~. ~1 h5 b9 }5 x7 KI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; g- W0 _2 l6 h
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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% c3 s E5 a, \$ G# F# g1 m: b' YThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.: q" {* T0 v" b/ }/ o( Q Y
0 v. O9 E+ f5 G% |Thank you very much!% V- J% y" u1 b" t) ^3 W. u
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4 a: [ {* v% FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& s; W, x% u; Q+ o7 m8 j2 V
6 t5 v h( A3 [* R) b- |2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 m8 @, n' o- E8 i
3 T+ T9 S! e7 m7 ^' V- P& I1 k"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 K0 T# U l! {
* K; J; a+ R, g. o6 y% LJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ ~0 q$ s# p7 e) q
" z, F/ } s# \1 ]3 |% URoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 E9 H- w$ ? ], G* \/ ~; C
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
