 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ a0 @' Y& F# b; ?8 }
2 T! c+ M- `/ v* E- f1 PI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.; [, P `: U( x+ m/ M% {5 Y
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:7 A3 x- H7 C0 M; ~( x5 w
# S+ f7 A4 d0 z2 {, }/ h"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 X1 @0 O" i, D( x( Z/ {
1 X0 I+ z/ Z. b) IAnd the second one was:, P" S* l" M5 i+ z+ h
# Q) |& @0 e# M4 _"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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! j& `. g1 r1 EI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 E/ @+ {! D( @7 j; W# ]
! m* p2 R& S3 C$ O' y$ D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"1 g! h6 F5 ?% T7 J ] j% l" C
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?, c. l: E/ O! f- m' l
3 r7 U( G& G5 TI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!! P5 @6 _, M ?( O$ y" X
- ?* y. y! G. w2 ]- H) BI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( v; p4 e. v7 I3 m
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"* q5 [7 ?7 {$ \# w6 G' ~1 Q
6 ^ c/ l+ v0 z; F9 P8 {Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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- i2 S7 n. R/ ^ @0 G! xThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!. y& [, L% j3 Y. p6 H
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; O( O: [, D+ J6 d% N( j; N
! O. B1 K1 S5 t$ q& v: B1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." F9 f% z8 ~( A8 C+ S
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 p$ G- g% _/ g( q) L# S* V* _, |' C
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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+ m6 [" x; X) t \The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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