 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ E9 L5 v1 _$ g, `! @+ @" V
* |; X% X7 J; I8 e$ ]# q5 ZI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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\! F1 B& L/ y' Y: \I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.2 D- u4 R% U: @7 o. u$ o7 ]0 _) e
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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9 X/ e; @; K" n1 Y! h: @"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"5 j3 r! o) m: ]% a
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# i/ F/ N' O. g+ B8 j- \ H. c
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And the second one was:1 z7 M: R& ?! t
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( d! g* S* l! g0 H8 C' p/ aI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; l: w7 {8 u) }) c. G8 L8 V; ] R"What is Roe vs. Wade?"6 m2 ?$ D6 h. S, q( P8 G
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?5 V- n" W3 s6 M
; A. u* W" l5 D; `! y0 m# ZI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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. W0 ]3 M' E+ t2 B2 lI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.") \2 F( `5 j$ K# Q n; \
A D; V4 I% f3 l( nSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") d# _ R& W# R5 R; ^
. t M) S! T4 |- ^! W1 uNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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+ \5 M; B; |: ^% T, \$ L( M9 n, bImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill." _( b) Q9 @8 ?5 G. F0 Z8 Z
# ^4 N& o" `- _ g6 a* O6 K2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.3 Q4 p4 ~/ C; ?* Z% F
5 m% |; z8 j' h7 g"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 |$ h" J7 \- @( K
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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0 z7 ]8 W* c) {% r# u, ZThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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