 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 m. `0 }7 x, T4 V8 i5 p- p6 _
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you. ]% O$ R) Y4 x( }; d0 w
0 i$ @/ N+ d. e3 _2 F3 g1 eI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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# W) I D! d8 f"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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. x' J* q: R+ nI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: }; [0 u& q: I# M7 z/ P2 p' H
$ o' ^: T Y5 o6 D) v, nAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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5 q4 P9 v# J4 F5 kI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 \7 \0 y; V! g
e6 R ^+ q5 y; T" Z7 ~2 H7 E"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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; }3 y5 {8 ]: [- R0 n) |6 SI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!1 p; [" b5 d7 a$ U) ^0 u
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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5 M/ S1 @. B% k1 _! M3 Z8 E* c) jSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"6 n; q# X9 ^* d$ {! o
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!1 Q! M1 Q% y6 v! k* r* I
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." c, B/ ~, @; j1 F# U& w
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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' B, S9 ]/ V3 Y3 {/ g0 D* H, JJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: a& _0 c8 a0 u5 Y4 l: m& A
7 I& C7 j+ J. E3 z/ f+ s1 mRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.% L. |0 E; H- {6 J
9 L1 p8 h- T) [2 O, KThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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