 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 F2 z2 E/ b% {& V5 D- y* ?; U
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.7 }6 T" b# [- v
7 Y* O: S4 M/ g9 e- l. _6 @: H. ]I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ Z( z5 e, m9 O. }+ o* OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 i0 m7 V" I: k9 t3 n
* m V- G5 @' \$ C2 s, r0 kAnd the second one was:6 y! j b& R9 t3 g% Q1 _
! s+ l" T8 V, q! }3 m* U' U"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( r- _+ I# ?; ?1 f' R# G6 [
9 i7 c) e* F4 K1 fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* a0 |) ]; t Y) d* R$ ]/ p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"4 X8 i) Z, l! ?2 q6 L0 p8 v' b
7 F- Q$ w+ D9 _1 [I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" A S& [; r4 }/ Q- Q$ \
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!& b' w0 B+ \2 a
+ L, q$ } d% v- h' c& j' dI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 ?) ]+ ]: S1 Z7 k# ]
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 Q( O/ q0 n1 |5 j4 k' C, d+ x+ RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”$ d; \7 V/ V/ [5 E+ p
# C: _3 h1 ^! @( IThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!8 u# m% [# F# E+ q( ^: w% l
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6 o: b- T2 U% i* W U" T; O# n& v! GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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* Y# y' }) J$ w" Q8 m1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 _& G. Y4 Q+ Q. w& y( e2 |2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.% Q( E7 h! j# l! ~$ k
- f: f& @$ \6 d+ j& V: {5 N# rJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".' c/ i9 r u7 R0 M% z) W0 E
: k- W! M0 X" _& } E) V: Y3 ?2 bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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