 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.1 v# O5 V2 w# E
3 s- e7 m4 T( B8 I! \' b# ?9 tI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.) N5 ?0 M* x& \( x* f& j: l
9 A; F/ r* C$ N aI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 D5 U$ \1 T2 @* E: t! Z( b. s3 I
$ {, i' Q+ d# T/ mI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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6 v2 i4 W' U% P9 j1 P"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"$ c3 W* }% G5 |, b- i8 R9 e, N
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! W; _/ V( R4 T& X& G- a
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And the second one was:
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9 t+ I* q4 h, J+ ?4 Y* l. ?$ ^8 P"What's the 2nd Amendment?"4 `" ^7 r2 O; A p
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, E5 t. h1 @5 `
" U8 A& X8 Y: M& m" `- \/ Q1 F"What is Roe vs. Wade?"# h0 d7 @' C [8 o# a& T
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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. A7 i" U$ O7 |( s+ n0 CI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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- G2 x- e, s! V8 y9 g- C0 x. FNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 p* C3 C; U9 D
2 ?0 n6 D( s' j$ L& e3 U8 eThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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4 n% y/ l, W3 j+ s% }- V6 I+ sImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. \% b- I' E( C- o: |' F5 P; t
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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, V2 p! q' {8 j, t2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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; q9 q6 E- _. W0 P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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' v1 r8 v# e. @Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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0 n+ G0 I% s6 E# d7 r: m4 ARoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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* s* @5 q# X6 o7 l1 ]The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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