 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
; ], k3 a6 J. n7 p! l5 T
1 x" U0 l" i- WI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
6 o) P" V1 f+ }. c. N( I! W
8 c0 k) w! j7 p3 ~! A& tI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
, i( {2 U9 G6 |! A- _8 i
; a1 n" P+ n d$ c7 u7 sI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
5 q2 [% x3 ~2 n& [8 {" [1 g+ v2 W2 N! l" `5 t
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
" g0 d( ` b3 U, P8 U0 K' J) n0 R- h' I. u8 h) |
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
6 D) m# d* c: ?3 W F( L5 X% m! n* x, \1 H
And the second one was:
% r" b' o. B _( m
& N9 }/ y/ Y6 ^! [# h7 t"What's the 2nd Amendment?"9 e' q& ?9 L- ^7 p
& ^* L0 K1 ^% Z8 [3 X) LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
& ^0 \# \3 g) X8 Y' w1 ]$ k g$ M
8 Q5 w4 x, S1 K- k8 y8 c8 R, W"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! L4 Q) x4 V) i
9 d7 L3 I. m% cI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% w5 h/ _1 T( u. |* Z; C- H
, T) ^" \8 ?" t: p, xI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, o5 o* Y/ T. `4 {8 Q9 U; H5 ?5 i
8 @7 m) i! r0 J" Z9 {; x: I
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."9 W9 J4 P/ W( t2 C6 s
9 i. R, m# z; v4 Y& |
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
9 `$ F( k: k* ~3 X, M, K: ^9 i# E- u9 r$ Z4 T/ ]8 T
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
- f) J1 w3 t2 ^7 M" E
8 q1 [8 ]# e( Z$ F* w" o2 ^This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
1 v: Y- q( k+ d) C3 B& D' ]) v
0 C p) G+ {9 h2 L. }! NThank you very much!
4 n0 U, C; Q. ]. F/ l3 v. m5 D7 R! |% x3 P1 }" ^
==========================
7 P3 a0 l; ?4 J! M- W( z1 H* t; I4 a$ M) O0 A. |
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
4 u" z2 t- |' ~* P6 j
7 g$ A' @& G8 k p1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& h/ S1 Y& n& m D7 n( G
f$ N1 u- b5 o9 \9 Q/ d$ y2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! w/ D5 j: o% b* b5 g# t
- u: @) ~% ^! R' |"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& W w' P( }# L! ^; F2 U# n
$ D4 B" K. a- j' f
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
# M- ?" h/ ]: e$ T n' I
5 ?; t9 X4 l$ v7 g3 G9 RRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
! A; i. \1 ~3 k- l
' r( ^9 L" n( a5 W; h" WThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|