 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.2 k2 w. W4 i |2 Z+ i+ W
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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8 a1 T: Y6 C# ^& RI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 }# l, B% ~/ d+ n9 `
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ K* a! o" L) u9 n% Z% q( U
. k- o6 J' u* Z- b* w" II was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ ?0 h X N9 Z0 ~0 y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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2 P% [1 d, [/ m- QI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!( L5 V! T* g' m, @5 T% ]) p2 E
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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( }% L( C, B/ D9 oNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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4 l6 J i+ p' Q& Q4 s4 q! zThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 l9 |6 H0 @$ o/ C. E
: g. J2 O. g7 x8 W& V+ Z) N- rThank you very much!
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1 m1 y( E% n5 DImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:0 W$ ~: y0 y0 E3 ^1 @0 S. b' p" h
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 J: w4 W' W5 _ C* C7 \5 J
& V8 h! c0 Z }8 ?+ @# N& V+ h2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.& }5 Q0 T0 h+ H7 F& R7 i% j+ `1 q, r
7 `) J( f( f$ m"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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1 O# B+ i0 z- _Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 Y% }. H: g# y
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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