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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.: q* l6 L% q0 q. e5 G

4 }9 W2 T9 y! Y& R1 WI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.& \- z% p2 X; O2 I2 A& P% Z

7 P  V/ ~6 g3 P; l  O* Z6 uI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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4 f2 h) q$ C# v4 F! QI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:( `- D% w! |( S8 T

% a- [3 B! D. [9 ]"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 ]& \8 d0 H0 W1 \
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% Q) F0 L- ?' n. g
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 M* w2 j" d* W7 K3 G/ t
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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6 c( \4 m- X& G. g% v& J' h7 c7 Y; gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; E  M: I2 v/ a7 {" p1 X

2 w  a8 r( o$ K7 y. KI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!: Y/ \* V& C, C% X7 Z! I

2 E  X* A  x: _# ?I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 J0 Y3 o, Y2 @( Q* H; r4 p

# d$ v1 V3 Y: fSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"7 |& @& A, U; ^5 O7 h

* ?0 w* x' {& N' T+ J) CNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”; P5 w6 ]( [; ^1 E2 [
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.  U, W. O# f4 u5 p
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Thank you very much!
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+ ^" F- M, ~7 ?5 e- ]Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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7 P/ {! f# ]+ [& m. A7 J1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.2 y$ p+ A# w5 E, v

1 d; n' G/ `" c' l$ J2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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8 W7 O9 N) W6 X5 c+ D"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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7 ?4 T; {) x( n' D# w4 T5 k7 P* X" FThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
& L3 p& j. h2 d2 O$ Ha young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
8 {- O1 _, |  w怎么理解?! |* J# t6 Q* u7 z9 X* X2 W
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。/ h6 e- f! S0 Z" H; j8 t
怎么理解?
1 A$ A) Q4 ^$ L, N# Y: ^50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?5 D( `; L( I/ a9 T5 n8 K" T; j
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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