 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
0 o- K I$ H+ v' d# i% i% @- Y1 o4 O# T
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.$ v- ^, {/ _2 [8 N6 k+ p3 L' b( h7 j9 A
* h0 z5 h9 @- w) t' Y% m4 gI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
/ _4 x: ^7 q1 }0 R
: \7 n+ R4 d" x: x# c" |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:: n) M/ k$ I- _! C% |3 @3 Y
`, V* m; M0 B4 x- k
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
8 H% T; B3 }. t$ I7 u: S
$ J2 R9 ?( v0 d% s3 s& G, {( HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
1 ?7 W9 ]7 E/ S3 T! ^1 B3 G* ^- A3 M- R# e2 F: I& z" f9 H
And the second one was:% y. C/ @- m e* T9 n* t3 h7 I
' w& F/ r$ h8 j2 Q. _/ g3 `
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! [. ^2 _6 x$ i5 ]9 q) T8 W' H& d
3 p5 u! w7 u& m6 ~, K6 M) |I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ C2 p8 p4 x f2 u6 [
" o6 c4 ]& R U4 h% j$ j"What is Roe vs. Wade?"4 @( u3 K* e8 a# W% {; r; ], o
6 o, d0 u& d& {& O8 u3 z; MI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
7 G- J9 z( r% A" F7 \3 F1 {: t$ k5 B6 P. C1 z9 ?: [: U
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!: P" `: V, ~! ]/ Y! W" V
. B. S6 z2 [6 c/ W- c" T# Q
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."/ \; O& n$ a" Z! O3 Z; ?
/ J- R( h; i" E; p' S7 {( _5 wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ f6 T8 U+ O( A+ [ \- l# O3 R
' _8 {6 c g4 a6 Y. `Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
( `0 {" S3 E: `( X# \+ N- ?3 N$ Y3 M Z0 p/ i
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- B2 K3 l; ]: F, i: A
/ \ q1 {2 f \4 K0 s6 [% j3 eThank you very much!
0 @5 S/ E [0 c* t) E& U$ B
4 q0 R: Z$ y7 k! k+ n/ e; l! V! P==========================
! v4 |3 Z" b& S9 Y
* L* v( W- N" e; PImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:/ }2 q( w. j& ?" N
* h5 A, f) G' u J1 W: a/ Y1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
/ |) n6 V$ p9 |) |% ~& I& |
+ E6 j1 z3 k) Z* t. b/ a$ J" c9 Q2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.& f% F# B# o) N2 w# ^
+ z2 R8 q' L2 X" K, U$ P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 \- P0 K H* n4 Z- I' }
3 n; x2 p/ |3 s6 `: L& j" QJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ Y8 n6 x. I3 ^# I8 B4 o) o, Y
" J- H$ [ e/ d8 d5 y1 e& v
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.! d8 \ c7 O/ F4 C6 \% u
$ \7 o$ y" e' I( U& O6 ZThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|