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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. A2 x, C" I% AI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 ?$ ]8 O5 g7 M, J
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# C6 ]8 m- M" Y) G

/ t, i- d; m) d, b"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 A& _( K# K" E# Y' M6 l  H$ g6 G

& l/ h2 z6 B8 N5 E2 d/ ~" `! {And the second one was:
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! j* {( ^$ t9 M- B"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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" n$ r; I' g$ q+ W; r- N8 ~; F2 _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! h; n# y0 s1 m8 T"What is Roe vs. Wade?": W2 u; _  H- I3 N7 l

$ B* [2 Z. f9 Z9 II was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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; W% }. F  E0 L+ e- R! qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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7 i" o& \9 L, l0 l9 `; WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") y" g) [1 G4 r" Q

' ?6 [& E! i0 n3 \6 F' MNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% v- y0 K9 B6 T, V

1 H0 s  l* \7 C$ fThank you very much!
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/ N$ j" p& w* L/ _$ Y1 w$ p+ _" gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 T1 P' [) g% U; O# T
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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; h: S, B6 K) g2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* z$ t- c$ b5 y: N

% U  D0 t9 P. A! V7 z/ p' ?% i, L"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( D8 f5 ]. C5 o) S! M2 F5 g
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 Z4 b+ `2 T0 V* j4 U- X( O+ B

* a. E+ y7 h, |) Y" `Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
: n7 U2 z. c: Q1 ba young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。- l' v6 ]1 ^) a3 R
怎么理解?6 H# M- E" s4 Y
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。6 P: o$ k* X1 o
怎么理解?
# r% }+ f$ [, P+ ?50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?( k) V7 |  b$ F) k; R% O- P
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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& y: z6 B# a. m* W4 Z7 f- P我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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