 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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8 t/ f y7 b/ N8 F& d5 Z' R0 uI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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( @/ w( U: p% {/ [I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 c3 K: Y @3 E& o
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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. U* {7 E: o9 Q* k' I5 H0 VI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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8 u8 k& f# l9 z7 b H"What is Roe vs. Wade?" Q3 K$ R: k) h- @
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?! E" j, g$ M0 X7 I# Q3 h& I6 _4 F
" I0 j' T/ \" G5 q+ EI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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. ]0 O) I" n; F% ^/ G1 [7 eI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". Q7 |9 f, r+ y t( x) p9 n
( e, @$ G/ e0 o& wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”* d" U$ ~, K. h) r8 F
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!/ Z, U" f4 |; \. G m! B2 x! c) O
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4 |/ C3 S8 Y0 v WImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.4 K' u5 x) a. R6 ~. p0 [
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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# S) i1 o! o3 z2 n4 |Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"." H& f2 M2 v( g e3 e8 q! B
: a4 O6 ^" |7 H/ n1 RRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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