 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.! l& b, r7 S$ W* D
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 @7 v& e5 } s& U0 p
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 K( \. s4 `) h2 {+ i
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 b* t; A4 p. @# t- C
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% K$ Y3 w! z% p
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And the second one was:/ L. P- V5 J' }3 w$ u" h, Z
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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, n. g- U8 O& v9 D( yI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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, t& R% n9 i9 g5 B- z- T9 RI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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- R$ l5 S+ S; R1 iI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* d; v. ]: l7 S
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ M H8 S$ G) ?0 W" y7 G
. F V( ?1 I; g) S4 DNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”* f; {% N5 j K7 V8 L7 [$ `% w
?; Y* R) n# TThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.6 I7 i2 N4 f' Y1 C. W/ b, j
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Thank you very much!9 U3 S/ w/ k& v3 T( a4 s/ U
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- N0 p( A% G! y/ x1 N" UImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:3 a+ Q! K K/ G2 t2 h$ \
9 U3 ^" q3 L7 F6 m6 r0 Z1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.8 d2 B# _% Z3 ?, x& ^1 {/ ~; m
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: ?6 e$ H& i \* W$ ^0 {0 r
4 i' @" b4 n# Q7 ^5 R% pJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.# f1 R# Q; ]; m
( Q2 |8 |: Q+ p" g0 l/ K _8 zThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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