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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.. @" x3 E# H) ]
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 o' N% g9 X# N7 N* \# X
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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' w. X+ r, e# W6 c0 B# p& l. pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ F# i5 ~! U7 N) ^5 z2 M' XAnd the second one was:9 ^4 O0 R  O8 K$ V

! x  d. z; x! i( L$ b% m"What's the 2nd Amendment?"/ ~( @! m2 `. @/ T" v2 ^2 b
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"# l4 t3 }8 ?+ I/ H, O3 b
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. f5 V8 F, Z6 @7 Y/ }; S
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" R; V* t) E4 K! c
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"- T$ D8 X2 E* c) ~6 A) [
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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4 U" @5 P) @1 g+ T7 q7 t' eThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ d2 f% v! @* t" W" E" ~- d( q
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:3 M: n; X. m& q
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.' n0 P0 `% z" a  K

% S" C; v6 j0 t0 ?2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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: U$ ~' P6 `' V9 ]0 X" y( v"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.; I8 S" t+ T  H# o& g
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".4 b9 x9 ~# D0 y5 F$ R& _. d
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.$ r6 T; W) U& C% t
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
4 t' ?2 S! F% W$ }/ V! ga young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
' l- P1 w+ s" M7 _8 M9 `怎么理解?7 D* s: @5 C; V' D/ ?
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 & L$ j( c, C5 Y/ Y2 W7 `

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; o7 m3 D' O/ \, S不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。+ x# u. O$ L! o
怎么理解?! {* Z! r* L' Y5 }
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?+ o. v6 M  m4 j1 r! z7 I
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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: h5 t1 d( c+ T& T: r我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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