 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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! q6 X9 x) y( ~I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 l5 n9 L# K! r& y2 C
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.9 N% ^9 |9 H) j6 H3 Q% P r
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ Z4 Q, V u y* `3 [6 R
6 ^+ K9 w& x: e9 t7 k% o"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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5 a. ]" e6 ]- _8 m7 u7 }! \) Q/ MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' v* l- M3 A7 v# F- F4 l/ @
8 A5 ]# T4 Z/ P: i, g6 L5 MAnd the second one was:
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3 Q$ i- j/ z) R) w4 L: L! H"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 F+ L# d' _# [" V
% t% x9 \* T" ~3 Q! K3 n9 L: o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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5 F# A2 N& M8 |1 HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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4 a( z7 l _1 Q$ l" j! V: qSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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. p2 z5 c' N/ i% S/ i# z3 ZThank you very much!6 r9 d0 }' w3 i6 ?
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% o2 g( j2 b4 q+ U; zImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 L% {8 n& _- i; k. h
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.7 Z/ }0 K' ?4 ~/ l* P8 W( {
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* `& k; U; A( \( p
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& Y6 A3 K$ P8 p1 }* V
8 d4 ]: Z7 m2 S' m) @& ZJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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) e" C1 N; }# i* ^/ g) CRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.; {- E1 O$ m* l' z, b
, P0 G6 p- z# ?- k1 `( ?. f" {The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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