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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.6 J9 `- ~* |/ A$ p, r- O
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.& `  n7 j+ \+ y8 P& B0 c
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years., ^7 h1 p6 m* S( B4 b1 I' q+ x+ @
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 [: a3 h( P$ p

) @1 t6 o4 x" M3 zI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 Z, L( A$ G% G" v- c/ x
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And the second one was:; }! q6 s5 G# V  s2 x/ {* T. u) H

$ G# Q! A' h! r4 h2 V; a, l( s% j"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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* d3 J; a2 h  I' ?. u) q6 }, qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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# i; I7 D  u2 r0 pI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) H% @* G0 W% u' Y

/ o3 S5 i* m7 t/ a6 D; TI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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$ U4 D7 W! U. \6 ~& cI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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& }4 L- N% ]8 ~' ~* {Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 Z2 u7 T1 W/ B1 ~7 \7 ?" n1 l

! t/ ]/ [9 n- B1 bThank you very much!+ E" l! x: e- F3 I* C* J
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- |( u1 t9 F, f" i% o3 r# R4 \0 pImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.' v' s9 M) l; z0 |# R* }: x

, |, r) ?5 I8 ?3 f6 \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.& B1 }+ f$ |4 d& p# e: f
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".! s+ H2 y7 U- X$ R5 v* g% {

" y2 z! d6 U$ A3 c5 s# Q' C( SRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ }( y3 l$ `1 k  O1 Q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
' i0 ?  A$ m0 G  Ga young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
大型搬家
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。$ N/ c* t( W: R  c: \
怎么理解?
3 W3 B8 X) q7 V' z  e0 r0 U3 p; \50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 : p  V5 v8 J5 Z/ a5 u0 W# M

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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。% _/ Q0 e4 R- \: I& ~. n
怎么理解?% ~, y! l$ }3 N8 U8 k+ c) s
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?7 a* m8 g; g# u3 ]1 o
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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