 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ c& b) M1 E9 K& t% Z) m
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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; x2 G2 ]6 g( ^3 WI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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- ]! T6 ^% a# }: ]I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:2 w; n& ~8 j( m
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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* M7 J5 }& W. ]( _) C# W$ hI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ \+ L/ p. X( B3 t/ k
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And the second one was:" G ^; f7 ]! e$ c+ G
( T: Y; a- M2 E2 B"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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) E' u2 b. x& m( z. l% XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% j. a R7 W; R% s) d
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% w E& F8 F& t7 C. h! ^
; g2 x H) f& v! UI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% {/ X4 L$ J! P; q v
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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3 l* [! l8 Y" h% `4 m5 x4 SI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?": h- X0 Q+ z# J, F) Q4 P
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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d" ^# E5 e# k9 o8 s( b7 @This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 u0 P# l1 h! w: Y7 W, G8 \
* j6 _3 g9 @# O6 s& UThank you very much!
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# w$ o7 Q- p% t, G5 Z+ j6 D! m y, tImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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! {# b$ ?1 r; ~! S# h7 V7 _% K; w"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.' c/ ?8 w4 v: n" G, \
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".! E6 ~0 G5 A5 L7 D+ a. w9 G
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.: a$ @1 }! B2 H5 R- Y
D0 c' H D' ~The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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