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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# b  s7 _- X9 r; {# a0 Q

( Z5 Y- Q4 x, v# P# K1 DI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 ]7 W6 u% G# |. |* s
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"+ q7 M' \( i9 `/ c
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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( a# O" _) J/ T: p6 w, pAnd the second one was:4 l# [# T" t, _7 b4 W: t- }
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" ^" J: K8 |% r$ T1 U) V: r3 c5 s

4 r2 ~6 S# t5 `) |" `- ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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& l. B% P& {2 q" H, ^I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!$ \" B. s/ `% V: ]

1 p2 ~/ B# ^8 j: z7 e9 ?( KI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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8 w: o) _' ]; N* t2 lSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- Q6 h+ {3 g0 i) A8 e2 a% {

# D$ ?" l, @, I% h' d3 xThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!! A) {6 M8 z9 ?( N' n8 B

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3 V: C$ L+ U2 I( MImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, m- {* Y$ ?: w9 w
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill." N; h  }% Z2 O9 h

) S9 `& z9 V( K& I  L, k; c2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 V6 v9 Q1 Z& L$ P6 j0 G' p
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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* E2 x, v& q3 F# kJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- z$ w. {) ]7 I, W4 y

) I  i% Z5 @& a1 O/ g- URoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ O" e" R; P/ D7 M1 u

& q- w0 W8 L6 W8 f  ~; kThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 5 g0 ^  D6 S2 o" E: L
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
大型搬家
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
4 y8 b4 ~$ l8 q6 n) S3 ?怎么理解?
) W1 M* u. V' p7 [  n/ W# T' P50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 $ P6 Z, W; B* G; L3 C
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4 h" `) j' U* R% f' s) g; I不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。  h. p2 p5 [& P
怎么理解?
7 o0 D3 k$ R$ o: g1 w7 }4 ]50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
( ^# g/ {/ ^" G+ t& ]6 B2 Vcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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" }" D+ {* R* o6 R. d2 _) W: H我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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1 \# b( r" ~$ P4 _# b) D! B我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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