 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
1 I5 n. N1 [# q5 U& @' \) x F9 U3 b
2 A V0 h* B6 ^! zI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. @6 c% `& H; _+ m) \
. z5 J( ?5 U4 o4 E: kI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
5 n i7 U/ s; b' Z1 ]: x u1 a! O
7 ^: @. G' B- j$ g8 mI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
0 L% L/ g' J' }7 Y% y$ q; @+ F
3 }: R2 y6 `4 M) x4 Q8 F"Who's Benjamin Franklin?", u2 ]" m- b! j+ z: M8 w1 c* O
3 U/ I4 l4 a0 O
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 L& O$ Y5 m9 q" A# u3 s+ {: m
9 A G0 H1 v, P& _
And the second one was:
9 l0 j2 s: H5 m1 h( g/ a6 `' @7 H; E9 J
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
! @. s' W8 _9 y5 A7 K/ b4 n
9 ?5 c7 u, a/ e" \ ^I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 h4 W' Y3 X3 z$ M0 t* V
; x# y p- N. A) Y6 o/ D
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
9 K# ]6 D; B0 k# g! @8 P
( b( L' m' v& X, y. C' lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
2 p5 W$ e- C/ i/ d. @
, P" t/ @' q, I0 `5 ]I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. f$ V% b5 q" P/ n4 H
# B6 }' X, q1 }3 v; S1 d( qI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
) g3 m* k/ S6 l7 M a. b: h' s/ J5 F: F
/ F* D0 G! {* P' c1 FSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
0 j+ X* n) S! _1 Z
8 w4 F( i5 H5 R7 M" W5 GNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
2 T( O" m: x' q+ @+ k% i( \# p* d* t9 D7 l4 ]
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
- ^/ g* ^4 w0 C! b5 W. U- g- U! v( Y! L9 v+ ^8 A
Thank you very much!
3 n& L% M) @3 p7 f- o6 M+ Y7 g6 a; N/ Z* u8 I4 L* `! S
==========================2 S$ ^+ A/ B c& g2 u
5 k% f$ O- w9 q. |Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:6 {5 C$ _: X$ E. F- ^* k! P
$ A# I) c0 {6 t
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
, q" {% g! q! H, R
6 e1 u) v) ^ z* `2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms./ R ^) G. j) g( n. S& a. u
. V! _& X" m/ X1 h
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 U' H! x: {) i% |+ c
% ?$ P. Q, S; Z0 R# k5 m- \ ZJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
( F$ @4 y7 Q& h7 D8 R0 q1 c& _7 D# ~- U1 d
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
! }7 H( i8 a! G3 D Q2 k% B" O8 w" @9 D; J4 r% R
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|