 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
$ l* H8 o: M$ F) u$ [" V
8 b) q5 F3 t6 C4 kI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
& `# }- s) V; U' N7 v
3 x' J( Q3 @& Z3 ^: b/ jI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
4 w: D) j* m6 D- Y: F+ m* F" j$ R! r. Y. q3 Y
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:( M) |2 _: R. I
" O& T0 u9 k* a"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"2 ~; D. R8 S/ k8 X# \. ?4 Y+ z" c
0 | S. T1 L( hI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
/ e6 p/ N M$ d T& M. h+ Z; b$ D6 b; }0 v9 l
And the second one was:
% j4 q; B# c' M; z
- V* O# h* o& o% [. f$ W"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
9 |% ] x3 ^, D: p3 ]- P3 h; M; Q5 P( m8 S0 _1 Y, R
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
# ?; f5 U" K# v) l
& F: `" d9 {9 [2 {4 ?7 j- `0 N"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
" C/ a/ `, m" D; E J6 `5 r) [& `, i S
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% b) ^* K( D! `; o
( C5 R( c9 I7 E. X( M3 s' oI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! V# ]" N1 i2 q- G
0 K U' i" Z/ l& fI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& j# U% a$ b7 ]
Y7 l% O' w& B1 F: T# z8 k8 VSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
* \; F* l0 F: l. H4 P6 K6 q0 }5 ?' k: c0 @7 Q1 ]
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
4 e7 U( M$ O6 S# h4 d/ _% X
# Q4 T$ H# M/ _' YThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) _$ Q2 g, I1 [% E
0 n8 x& u' ]& Q5 f9 b* @; V% g
Thank you very much!
4 m, M }$ E# \3 W' P' G @" `
6 g1 {, i3 \; E7 o==========================
% i5 `1 N+ s5 W" H" v6 S: r0 r( ]3 P3 ?5 b& Z! x f
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
) p; g3 p, S$ r U" N2 d3 O k: y# i) B9 \9 L
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 j0 a9 [9 |+ s
" k( l& w' P% W$ r) M
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms. B9 \/ V* ~: ]8 e
( G: O4 ~" }, U, z( U"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* y# \4 s2 E' l6 {' b, o& n
8 _( B: b6 X4 u% B* n0 D8 U& vJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".; ?0 r0 X) v' `5 ~1 \
* C; V8 w7 _5 p0 D. ~6 ^5 e4 y2 O
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 ^& M2 ?- u2 N( O5 M
% F" N( J$ ~4 k6 S# n
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|