 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.5 G) H) [7 Z; v' ]. L: {% N1 s
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. h4 f0 e& }; O0 l& y
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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4 b9 `. R: `( v1 l, d7 FI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:$ ~% _2 @; \% O7 p W
2 D; ?; u4 F, E7 r"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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8 C1 h+ X& }1 M0 b2 o* j5 k3 b8 k A$ _; VI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 s) |* z! ?( W8 c4 ?4 YAnd the second one was:* r; B1 m7 `; B2 w- W
\4 e9 c ^$ @( C, ^, `9 m; m"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 X- f7 b) F3 u$ j: q# s2 ?
( J& U; j8 h) z) oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?, j% P, b( z5 S1 o, d- d, {
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ u% C6 k3 }* u" X, c1 |" ~
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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" L m, _$ Y" c' @8 \2 e( {So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' `6 @8 d* c/ U5 m+ U) m+ |
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.9 d, i8 Y/ P) { I5 V) T9 K' W0 u
( g5 L" u5 G4 V* }Thank you very much!. q2 t( W$ U* s
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.) o, d. {% A' A
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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5 Q) E! e7 i+ VJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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* `' V" D5 E2 H, b/ J4 s% x- L9 d9 WRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* T; m4 f( U4 f0 C. c3 L
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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