 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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1 S9 j. {" N! W5 b; c T' LI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ S% Z2 O) r) Q- _: R. W9 E; W
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- r7 H) e- }0 n$ H& k, {
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 P8 J t) ^$ T0 e% z
: b3 E. h7 a) Z* o4 B6 D( L# e- m4 iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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) L/ h1 ]. E9 r: ]/ J- j8 mAnd the second one was:2 a" q* \, \7 y; \' B9 W3 Y
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# F1 ~) y& L9 Q& ]2 L# o
) }3 Z+ s$ R( HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- m: u0 e; t; j; Z/ e0 i% ~( Z
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"$ ?5 X! X: I! Z& I
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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* |+ D$ z* y/ r3 YI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."/ P7 F/ w/ u0 p# T. Y
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ y: q6 _$ j) V3 \# g
7 T4 M+ f4 s) f+ H6 j' }4 l2 QNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!1 c# r/ c) h- {- E% d. u4 f
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: ?" X$ a. J3 o' ` rImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:' x, b, F- [, x" z; t
, z" L# M+ i* `( _3 o3 u+ j) o8 f1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.1 U6 B9 V; ^5 k9 j8 ~1 E
1 Y4 d( K; C9 U8 T/ a2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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4 l- Y/ i8 k/ e9 C" E2 \, r' x( c' B"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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! r4 W$ k8 O1 a, ]# U5 AJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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0 U/ k1 d4 V+ ?" m: `" _Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 l7 H% q0 P# R8 {, r( G
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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