 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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1 Q- C1 ^4 e! k4 b# k& GI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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4 s3 J6 ?8 k' V5 S: K" b" yI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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/ D/ h+ l4 ?4 n' C$ k+ \* QI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ }' S; [( k( w# S6 c9 cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 C% h. H0 K& P- w; i
$ X% G& s6 R" hAnd the second one was:" G9 Z& |7 G+ A3 ^4 M0 X! |
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 E' y% b: X; l6 k, ?0 @& \
' Z2 o! y+ A( J$ J; e. y2 k"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 h. G9 ^9 F5 E6 M- X
$ \# U" Y7 \; G& zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. z- v* I; k, a' Y& I5 f# W
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!+ W* }1 Z. r% N9 l5 A$ q5 X
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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: k7 X6 f) h1 n( M. {, K: ESo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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6 V* K5 s" X, \( cThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 M, n: O- \0 z+ H& G
# I9 z/ z3 Q/ yThank you very much!! P5 |! L! P. |9 |- f; |" L+ i& m
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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; _; v' [* T4 n6 V. Y1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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% z! O) y7 b- f( f0 X9 NJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". ~( d# i M. M# I9 v( J* n
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 ]5 i4 A1 w. x6 {% n
0 i& W% M/ f$ P3 l0 b4 [The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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