 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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; C4 U2 X8 L J c: o6 {9 ^2 o1 E7 HI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 m+ L" Q8 X1 O' M# Y; ?
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. o- u" j6 A, T
7 N( l) O" N+ g/ d5 c1 ^& H( {. MI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"% C3 Q* H3 |& c1 c( T: a
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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; v2 Y% Z$ v! l: f0 F' p \"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 S& |2 a0 g P! ^' s! m h0 W/ l* B# `5 ^
0 N% Z0 ^5 V; u8 p& k"What is Roe vs. Wade?" B+ a; d( F! ~9 Q
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 e7 ?. B) B( k v% J ?I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. C/ G; e/ p* ?5 T S9 J; o9 Z% v
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; I9 R" f+ @; _4 `* S1 k& `# ONow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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4 z8 h2 G4 o% z! A5 uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:# P7 {; D+ V; c% `5 w
- N4 A( O6 N2 C3 C1 p$ h1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 v& t; m+ Q W8 o1 G) ~) x( ?
/ e4 j0 d9 ~, R7 D; ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: e% n3 L' C1 v. Y" o a
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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3 r8 o0 K5 m- N0 m, c) A! g% |The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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