 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.; ]. f( f. C0 q' h' t
& V' V: X7 a& g- F) }I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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# f1 p4 ~( d4 \I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.7 @8 B! R" c+ @- X- X3 b$ s
1 @9 ^ | _% S# TI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* J0 r' D, Z5 D& U2 m" C7 A
( k) @9 L: i* v, W"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 w* p& Q* X, m5 yI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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9 g9 ^7 ], p0 l: p" D, R/ Q% Z; eAnd the second one was:- ]: G! a9 W- m" B
- }$ B* ?& k8 x0 F"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. B& Q. I. I& a( ^"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ E3 x+ O" K6 Q2 A% y! I- W" T
' Y& f, i+ h2 w; n6 `I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?9 q, j6 h% r: b4 w9 W& P4 j
0 ~9 {9 w4 l: M& `6 J6 f, |I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 J* X5 S1 q5 c, [+ E! V- q8 d
. C; r" B) [6 AI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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+ f9 |3 d! h: y! C% JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”4 n, ?5 H* ^( A, L$ V z
s m5 d: h) S; V o) JThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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! S: \0 ^" M. f5 ?# yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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# ]. k2 `5 V3 O" v/ u2 G2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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% S! Q9 v+ X' z2 V7 ^Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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9 q" |0 W2 @' yThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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