 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. a m# n7 e5 y2 u, R; T# zI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ k0 q/ t; g; |3 V# z' n
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:& n) A5 X3 t0 u$ R8 M
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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0 { G7 ]/ u, a, b5 l- xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ C5 e$ T% ]& UAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"$ g4 q; d" B% Y9 y* a8 e
* F# R. t" d/ Z1 d$ K- e% ]I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; [% X1 U- m5 E* l2 e: `' [
1 [. O9 r2 T1 H"What is Roe vs. Wade?" B5 l- |2 t7 n( C; ]7 h
# t) a$ l5 x# y& D9 EI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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z) r9 L' J! I8 o1 A' b- AI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( @( y7 r: C4 D" r$ h2 A6 z0 F
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"( E3 j" |' ^! ^' O+ c/ J
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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5 x5 F3 f1 S% {9 h7 b# z5 T9 rThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore." g# d/ q; i# z3 l3 J
: C5 e/ j) L* J0 R3 B) X5 R4 mThank you very much!
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7 x8 F) K5 c! N9 r6 t0 SImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- ?8 ^: r/ I" p3 L/ Z
8 m+ I5 k2 W4 [1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 ^. Z, Q5 M) v9 X" ]& u, `
; t& z' u3 P9 S; e+ k2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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& S* }! w b3 V8 j, gJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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