 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& c) V( s, ?3 y0 [8 c2 `7 U
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! ?( B ^/ J3 p9 L6 S$ W
6 s2 O2 T& i* C* Z4 M' nI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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$ d7 q5 q4 P5 p) P"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"6 J2 J. F7 [; |7 ~7 Q: {% k
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 S& V- }1 N9 {7 r
( g( p w% ^8 X0 T+ bAnd the second one was:
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$ c2 e# N/ W* C3 ]* O+ b, y"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% s+ B$ q8 I4 F* b
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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4 ?7 D4 n G) x( ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."' B3 f3 S7 G) x
5 T( q5 Q, Q) Y) ^' l: z. F5 NSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' n5 h) I" T- o) l' {; x
' G# e3 i1 [9 uNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”# P$ n( j* `; |- b9 C
4 I; }4 l& k' y' gThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.7 k8 p6 s0 j5 \* \ P( j, c- Q" d
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 x$ V, b! N6 u9 g* _7 M4 n
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., \1 Q( g. \: `+ Z
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 U& D+ _ K0 T& L% tRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.' N1 g. N5 X3 I2 {2 H, ?9 e; f; Y
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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