 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.! z+ j1 B" ^. C5 v8 f
8 i4 n+ ~$ v' }: OI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.- z: P! I, \2 v* w5 j9 X
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! v" ~0 n* v7 X. x# v
: o- r' a) I; u" Q4 _I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# s2 A; C }" V0 K% E, \; Z9 P
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ t9 j- W) w4 R& u* x, ?I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, x& o5 Z d- y+ X3 }And the second one was:
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; ?! U7 ]$ N8 l1 f k# c% V2 m% R"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; k F/ S; }6 Q3 v1 r# D0 ?9 f
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"3 o; X, u' H* y9 o" K. i8 H
) f }7 z( J3 ~8 f/ X+ RI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ ?: M1 x8 C, f
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!& z) C# |5 O" ^6 p" T
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 P, K4 O$ `' N
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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3 u8 O( ]8 M0 j; E. K$ yNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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% ]- E8 r# k) e7 C W. L3 _This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.8 \4 R2 J R* P
2 H3 z0 V7 }/ E; x8 P( a; X- I9 ?Thank you very much!+ h; G: D! w- ~" V+ \
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% X3 \6 ^& W8 L3 u
. l0 n: u; `- r" {% F: x2 p1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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3 n$ y4 z- S+ m: c6 S"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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\8 x5 s F/ o' k* \% cJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 l# }/ T) p& V% u8 `6 k6 \4 j
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.# j8 x* e& H9 x7 C! L% t
. E) Z9 E, {) P" b/ NThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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