 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.' j7 F" @, I& I( t8 l$ Y% S
- Y* g" @# k! s U, I, n- LI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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, L ]0 j! x8 _0 R# b* [3 yI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.$ k1 L6 B3 O1 z! `
" K7 F7 k+ n! y4 @- RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" w: D6 n) h+ W! g- z
8 Q" U) o( W) x' P% k# S"Who's Benjamin Franklin?" U1 r1 j; d; n% a9 t
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 [9 ?. t& f; y+ i) KAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed? R$ h1 K- T. W% r: w8 e9 M# M
* a7 w9 h4 y/ o% H& Y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 `4 l8 a/ G! s0 s- J$ f
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?( V- N- ~6 l5 Z1 Q: ^' u% F" e
- z) b5 p7 R f5 m2 D; T4 ?I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" y) B# F+ i6 ?0 L3 B7 P
/ e! o3 X, G% b& U& |9 z8 ^! iI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 ]: m( T/ H* {& e
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; F; E$ |* M9 ]1 {, ZNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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1 G2 W) G$ Y% P5 ^This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:0 {/ R, Z1 t$ d- a3 l
0 `/ O# Q3 l5 g9 ^/ R6 K+ ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* J! ^4 G8 }) `5 l
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 a+ Q6 D% }5 h6 c
- e" ^/ b: `% T$ M8 bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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