 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.: ~+ M9 M9 E' A) l6 v
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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/ v0 E+ `. E' LI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 G& ]! D$ x2 |+ B5 ?' ?" K9 d
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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, Q5 K/ ~9 l' m"What's the 2nd Amendment?"9 k- y* }$ ~) c* f1 T
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!3 \* ]$ G6 E% w- g- ~
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."8 u% P4 [, J* }9 j6 v
. C% F& M2 D! A v8 f) U3 I' D- `So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- H+ z1 _& i8 j# Y1 [, B+ A5 Y
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Thank you very much!5 W) i$ Q, e& T: Y! f9 f
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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. H; ]2 |3 p: J5 ]2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# R6 n1 J/ n$ P( w% t4 ~5 b$ \
; f L0 S4 {* s! Q) h4 u: o"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ T9 ?8 R& e9 n' ~
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% |. [ V; E6 l3 x' k1 k: j
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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8 r6 w) Z9 j$ R9 yThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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