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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.. S4 [# D! m# F
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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. ~- c/ j# G" b# b1 A9 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' V) H0 B% \4 e) ^And the second one was:
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; w  i( [: {; I0 ?) P"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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% g, U2 M6 ]- S+ l5 X* W- JI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ b' m3 p/ T/ `/ |& B/ u6 g: A. h/ X
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" L) E, w6 X, {
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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' ~" g* ]( V- C1 l% a5 hI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% u3 T+ D+ A1 q  ]  s

5 b% Q5 `; P1 n/ NI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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/ `& |3 U9 O! T! eSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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) Y: d5 ]7 u9 C, L! _) `) G! v+ E! hNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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! ?( V! }/ }+ r" ^  _) uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., b( X' Y  L1 D
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Thank you very much!' G3 _7 T9 ]& o
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  r8 p3 Z. q" x. w3 E' z3 zImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; i) y& K0 U- Q: J" c% S
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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# d/ Z% y3 i8 C- x  h+ C' u% OJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 o9 V9 H% b* P) r7 y

8 d; s6 J# `. Y1 B% O' `) IRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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" b9 j# ^+ c' l! uThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
0 W; R  a7 ~" D) X6 F2 ca young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
( W% t: K5 B+ T% {# Q- t+ ]$ L怎么理解?
% u7 S0 _% P5 C; i4 i1 Y50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 2 \7 w5 n- z& v, |8 j
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; ~  H5 s1 O) x9 K+ K不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。0 M, O) F! W, u: |8 t; a
怎么理解?2 i0 s7 j3 @6 G# H
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
1 L1 }1 V7 b3 ^0 d' Pcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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% \4 M) h! T/ a4 n我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳 / ?8 Q6 M. T8 u% J) b5 {: P7 r

( R# b' Q3 x9 h3 b0 [, k我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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