 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.3 Q% Q h: ?' B: A: h; W
. F/ _" S, x" II'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
# A- A; H" k( F: g, h" ^0 ? V% i2 ^" A
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 p- X% N! Y9 S3 X8 Q" g5 z
! M2 N; n1 s0 m) z# `5 Z
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 @- Z9 e& |9 J, e
9 j; b$ \% }0 P' ]7 p1 e"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 I& }$ V& n# }" U/ s# H
. Y+ @' K) n8 ^# H2 G
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 K7 S7 W9 X" ~: T
6 @, J# Y8 ]+ x0 j8 K+ g$ `! m
And the second one was:
r8 A$ ~* {( d) A1 S7 m, g- @# X1 d8 c) [ ~
"What's the 2nd Amendment?", I% r- ~4 \: p3 a- R
; _: ~9 E) @/ F Y2 Z' [9 g* f
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! W) d3 M5 w( u _
m9 c- _8 q; O" t2 D( \& l( F"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
9 O0 t( \ U3 [! n
5 H# @* i2 c) d/ C b. y7 bI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
) o Y9 I! ^( U! B x6 s" U; y4 r8 H, E' O/ e% W- m6 j0 a
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; ]) j" q# \- \% C' x
9 ]8 b8 E2 u) Q- o: }$ RI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
, q, h/ ]0 [4 p* P& h% T3 I: p9 f1 v; M% ~" ?
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
7 `( X# q5 |2 C% d7 _9 g
; m8 H9 R! j4 F+ u9 |, nNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
. j' R! q% O; c1 }3 c# M- O9 Z! ^ D4 W1 G, N) N1 V2 G" h
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ S& ~, {. R) ^- V, e$ m4 l) {
$ Q2 T& o2 m! Q8 Z/ U- A- r8 d
Thank you very much!9 ~ g& E. E2 y5 h! h
3 ~% ~, L' V* u2 o/ {/ w: I
==========================2 f& Q# ~. L0 I0 z$ u. i
' u+ ~" r# g, \/ T( c* `
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% l8 j: t/ p8 ^8 I1 P0 A
$ d& ]0 C1 l. j1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
: m" _1 K1 O$ W/ U8 {
6 ?! T$ A' w9 M" j [2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
9 `9 L% F9 w5 k+ o- L; W5 J m2 W
2 d. L D# [, f3 L"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.2 g, z! v/ v$ a8 @0 ^! i
. F- M& }, L& o8 |" M0 zJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".1 {9 h C1 A) S H4 @& w
8 E- g, Z7 w$ }6 c
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
. a. l" S$ E" U; S1 G8 k
2 I* o1 V4 `8 X6 m2 n5 VThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|