 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 L% l7 K0 J# a
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 X& a' P6 y& m; [& K
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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8 S m$ O0 ^* v: u' q. W' qI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 n2 x% _* E j# u' x+ s+ L% D
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% b, y* n6 F/ Q. B+ M4 q: M% p) w) p! S
5 g2 T1 y: n) O3 KI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 |" N* a+ l) x: _" B% j
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ x$ q) W8 n' A' _& `/ X b4 v. H
& t) `2 \/ a7 s; @I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% s* A |; t( G: o/ q, |
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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/ U5 R' ~# \- r5 l7 L! kI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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7 ]+ R$ t2 A9 B8 Z& p. Y8 X, ]Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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. H6 O2 Y" M t: V: o( {This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1 j9 r% B# J" a e# L4 `' ]
0 W) a# M$ k- z! `4 S# t1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- M8 `8 ]) V# N$ h: v- Q
: U( \5 v8 {0 c9 e; a( D2 y3 H, ~! H2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 |" i* Q1 y0 }8 e
! p2 ^, Q7 |- t$ W: |0 z6 ~"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% ~% w4 U$ M* O. z- ?& U
4 D' D+ {5 D& J" X4 o0 `1 LRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.) z6 L3 c5 |' C; m! I
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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