 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
: N+ L+ G: u! o6 H% g6 e3 L" s& u, D- D
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
! V2 c; {4 q$ z% H1 ^
& \# G# \! D$ p$ m" ]! V0 Y7 T! aI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
# Z" l! H0 T2 V2 w4 [9 k3 ?; i( s; @* k/ w5 v0 X
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
% u' E' o$ k' M0 ^. a+ V/ t% A4 y* }- Y; K
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
) |, }: m% a, j4 C1 \* \5 X
' @1 z; K4 u1 H" iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
6 K& ~' L; Z n- _( t' I
0 Z4 X* _7 r R K- IAnd the second one was:7 E. @+ ?$ h0 {2 @/ D. t
$ ?* V e1 J' M/ X, L1 ?; d"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
# |; \* n* _, i1 E
' n4 Y+ {7 {* Z( `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; _3 \: m* R% i
7 x. B7 ]0 A A/ {6 O"What is Roe vs. Wade?"4 q+ o. |: }7 |+ e
/ F5 j& o# K* K' ~+ _! t" N) zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
6 B# Z$ h$ B3 q2 [ f: d+ b
* U, u: R! U) c! eI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
0 I% W: x2 o& ^: O! w( `; B4 @; ~6 i# c4 f1 {
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
3 m6 _. n/ U( N8 m0 h# w6 y0 i0 S6 N9 l: m2 v# L q
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! O" g% G0 S) |' }7 g
, @; a: z9 c6 h8 b4 tNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
# A9 i4 F l. X. r: o& {8 o8 b: N# P8 O4 R, V/ \
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore." @$ H O. W& x7 q* ^) ~
: I* ^5 ?. |) c7 UThank you very much!" h; a3 I/ ]# j1 R
, }+ Y. q5 @" p1 I- e
==========================
) r* f3 y- o2 }$ ~" i
! e6 n( w. Y3 }Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
) l6 v/ L! E& e6 s' U5 q }9 ]. Y- b
; g$ c! S; e9 X1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
" Z% c3 y' l9 T: A/ x( _* q) W- S* e' {! I& e' r i
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
3 L$ L; N$ `9 m* N1 r5 m: L" M4 M3 T; b# }; |" A; k& r5 u
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
4 q, ?3 _3 `8 s$ ?9 _4 d- G6 C# q5 X* U# I/ Y- ^8 s: J
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
3 u; b6 f# t5 {/ Z4 @7 |' h8 X( t k1 Z4 I+ N
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 C* L/ C& ]- K2 f
( K5 j% g) z: i3 y) t6 z! p4 s+ k iThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
