 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ w1 X7 y0 e/ N4 I3 V3 S
" d7 l" G4 h, f$ w2 m+ o
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
$ J X; n; R8 ~( V" A* Q) a! W) ?& F6 M" b
. J: B7 H/ Q8 @! ^- G& t# xI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
: H/ f! r0 y3 \& R5 M
. R) P3 q4 w: y# i% yI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
+ L2 M! C% x& E! x
! u, U8 L" K( N3 V6 P5 {7 C I"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": b/ Z( G. @" {* i) }3 E7 p
9 N4 H+ s Z) W; ~
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
; g% |% L* N3 `. h: P( J
& N/ s4 Q4 ~- {; P2 eAnd the second one was:5 p9 R, a% W$ [+ ~+ ^9 c0 ]
8 B) y3 B A w% t+ ~( z, X) J. P6 Y3 l"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 W& s9 u% `- w+ u+ b: L
, l5 K+ \9 n4 A4 x J
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
* v8 \" P: q; v, b) v. c- K, F l- R- y% v# m% H7 l
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& {6 {" o/ I+ N3 {0 `# `
( f- t7 Y0 q3 u3 {
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?8 H f; P! w5 a8 |7 f: l
) M ?5 y4 n) @. v: }I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
, E3 \, x" T3 x$ J4 E9 U
+ Z! T: K8 \. S6 Q) hI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
5 L( t* B& o% j) N7 o- @' w6 P% F2 u5 z+ D! M' L0 W/ [
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
0 R" T) |6 f$ k5 F1 r, b- ]9 Z$ v* d& u2 ^2 |: e& r
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”; [8 y0 F2 a/ g1 m
6 ~9 w. z8 X5 [* P/ SThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
4 H( j2 h# N: G& F& D3 l p* J! w% S. E0 ^* I
Thank you very much!
+ l& f" q( a# K- N6 i) ~/ k
- S/ W) d$ Z4 _% E! x' Q% \==========================( d. Q& E3 i2 N' R, b3 d
1 o. V$ g* L' Z, P% I _Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" {1 ^9 O0 J* ~2 x8 x
! V1 z7 O% W8 [1 R" I/ C: g
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.: V/ }$ X# g! h$ q1 i) u
/ U8 @4 ], s! B' M7 S
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
- a2 c. [+ M$ I# b; i; y7 c: n) O, S p! @4 {- s8 v( ]( I
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.4 ?1 w% \+ ?+ W" h! l/ x
* M: x7 B! s& I" CJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
3 s, t$ D# D) s( i. i
2 J2 k) T! Y) r! k5 l# _* G9 \9 n% vRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.3 x. C' y. H4 K8 m0 d
- I! @& P o- S0 B5 d3 U
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|