 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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$ j) h9 Y* x8 x( m. x1 wI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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% A, q( L( M/ J% `0 `" mI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 k, K, p7 o0 m3 s5 N; H w; j
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"1 e* T: H7 k' s) s. k" O' L
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( A. I2 @0 _5 h
S+ R u3 f* nAnd the second one was:# K( D, |( B2 ?6 _* P! A0 _' N
. z/ E/ _- x! b"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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# ~9 I9 H3 C' i! A, w$ BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& D% x; O3 j( w; }"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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& ?" @( k" F$ K; Q5 m/ xI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!2 ]4 ], Q4 k; H% O
9 q8 K. t1 `2 q5 ~, W" fI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 K+ ]4 [9 f4 [' [% Y
6 Z+ @; g0 Z: I6 ]8 \Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 i& t2 t* T8 Q7 b
- c8 }1 D9 p8 q( o: X* @6 bThank you very much!
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2 `: b& T6 N& q, P$ v6 U$ lImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" t5 P, b1 j% E+ N i- J
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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. r7 B" W$ O' V! B# L4 {6 G/ b4 [2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' \, F2 M* W( y9 V6 V
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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2 L& d* y- _6 b9 T# k( uJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". ]3 K" q w! {0 r: _7 S2 K/ I! D" s8 q
" p3 y: e8 B. R! `, q) BRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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3 S' s: `' S4 C- YThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
