黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

5 F0 U5 u; y' j5 l3 o  EI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

" f) f3 B8 s4 Y, AI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 [- f6 W. U! u+ [I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, k4 N$ ^1 P+ F2 k; ^# ?7 Q2 t$ tAnd the second one was:

"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& G1 r: y& n) D5 Q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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4 b. A( }+ j/ z$ r8 A: HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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! Y, a7 K: T2 ~9 F. K, z. |' xI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!

' R5 \; l, w' `7 W4 O! UI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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+ k0 g3 ^7 z# ^3 u$ vSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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7 g: w; d  y: q! M2 LThank you very much!
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==========================

! h9 ^% C- n) \! R: {  ?: l, ^; J# hImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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9 _; s, B/ L# \8 {# m  J1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

1 G' u/ ]" R/ c# [6 {2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

5 [! ~+ ?2 x) a* ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
( Y- p  L5 t# b) ]怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116

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( g1 g  n) E; H- t7 @不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
2 s1 t: X# |: C' k, |: x$ |; Ucyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
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& j. F! _. {( a8 z我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.