 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.7 r: L5 d5 P7 ?* s+ I
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 G9 j4 i/ w+ F% }
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; L2 V& C3 R8 J3 P9 N
/ {6 ~9 [' I" m6 A$ _2 z"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"1 g. I9 V( _5 i8 p% @
0 A |: ?/ Z) w" B- nI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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3 d8 l. h2 w- X& t$ p) \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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# w0 u2 j. Z7 R; A, Q8 k4 q4 B"What is Roe vs. Wade?"1 R9 u6 z( ?4 `) j# k: z& B2 }
) w/ f, H$ d8 I8 BI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ _& E$ Q% @9 h8 K" y
9 v: B# v: H7 V: sI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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8 w3 ~2 o% `7 L3 k) MI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 b3 w* C& ^) m$ Y
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& A; ]$ E% O7 o5 W9 [" a
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 |* `* D( S0 Y7 ?
/ @9 w' E6 g8 U+ { `& R9 `This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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/ V" t9 ~" s% V! y, a9 GThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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4 r O+ Q- ]( H4 I7 G/ g4 m1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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# |% K) t! J: a. P& e2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.; j# J9 [$ U% n4 t
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 s6 O. y0 r0 c5 c% ?9 j0 i4 I
: U/ y2 u; L7 [5 ZRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 G; A+ ~4 q& L2 r: z4 g0 X
/ J' {( _8 a% {( l* w3 Y2 {8 vThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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