 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. {5 c+ x2 v5 q& ~* U+ V3 PI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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$ U5 x: @2 u. c+ P( ]2 @I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:7 p( E* g: A2 I( ~3 R+ ~
) P6 k! J/ m4 B# @' ^, ~/ {# \"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": ^5 b7 K9 x9 }0 i% N
2 P. q% S$ [8 `5 U( Y0 `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& f; t4 B5 H, Z+ B2 P
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And the second one was:* S$ }/ |" T4 b7 I1 E% P
* R6 B; ^) Z0 N" z5 Q* g"What's the 2nd Amendment?"$ e) d3 \: c* q. {
; _3 S7 K% T. `3 qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* B8 A& u# Z4 k"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ O% Z. u6 x; [) Z! ]7 t! \6 u
; X9 R' M% x X- V' O- KI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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% j L% s/ V( i# j) C- aI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" m5 w% N' z; R) o2 p5 Y
& p/ } ]! Q7 [/ L NI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( m) f) p, U4 \, k
1 u& N8 {& R" g) }3 u9 A9 W' KSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. u# c! U6 O: `% j6 O
* ?9 z8 Q7 q/ h$ Z# z( z. w% ` YThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ a0 r& a# j% T2 U# f c
$ \# Q; e$ I/ `2 m4 z% o( J2 X: gThank you very much!, B$ q5 N: |4 P- j6 k' g" Q
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference: d+ Y3 {2 V; Z7 F+ q+ d1 `) \4 g
5 f; u& s+ s! @9 i1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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4 r3 W3 p1 ~: b2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." ?; ?& l' k5 x8 g) g6 b6 c
1 c/ b; }1 U0 k1 j) `+ O+ I"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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" U# l* d v1 p% O9 SJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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* j6 F8 U" G0 ~' u; x, V9 ?Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 z& k+ F# d) E5 o" r7 g
, g9 R7 Z; \8 u3 i' }% QThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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