 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 ], S4 O: M) b9 e# F+ C
9 p! i" @, o8 |; \+ l3 B# aI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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0 m; ~! z- f0 BI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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: h! q7 n0 n+ y9 y: S"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( O" X* \ g; M7 u
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?": v! |' K7 f' Y
6 R/ m, X$ ?8 YI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ O/ D+ C6 E4 s* _
0 B b( C5 Q6 q, v8 b9 e% d: D% B"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- [$ F2 P, o9 i+ g# K: @, T
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" J L9 f+ j! n+ ^, r# Q
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. l, m( l, T* \: a5 d
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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g2 }: _9 W4 s* z; w1 q3 b; [Thank you very much!
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8 h; X( r9 k. k4 c. VImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:3 G5 e' c" Q% c
$ q( C5 c K, v# h! S) n1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' {% V* C6 ?+ e/ ]
. g: Y/ } v' d a, m7 s"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 Q- k# b$ h* P
. d$ E: K2 i+ K# {4 _% TRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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, `4 o- L& S+ w& _8 nThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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