 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.0 V; T) P/ D, [. o8 i/ T
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.3 E5 l3 S* Y/ C; Y+ h% U" ?
/ r2 f, R! j! A% B$ K* [I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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- H* B3 M8 v. i5 L. I2 ?+ ZI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# h5 @$ x) W) q1 L/ I2 k/ F, [
# o6 E/ ]% Y) o$ k L4 Q"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"& T6 |4 J) E( B; |, M- J x4 o
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 {% n- h3 W/ f
/ Y. I. z3 m8 p* R: HAnd the second one was:4 b) F, |% Z0 g
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* g8 w9 w3 P* ]% g! z& X
/ |& W2 r: X5 Y' ?" U"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% P: S" g/ W7 O" p4 j* I
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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- v' @# Y6 E: R# Y- C5 FI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!) s( [) S# f, O3 h, L1 P, V+ H
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."9 p9 K q! L+ }6 S( W, \
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 h1 B! V2 q8 u2 U% ZNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”& w+ t8 L( O! |0 l) c9 t
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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7 X+ V* I8 y3 x* f$ iThank you very much!+ M, S8 g0 }4 t0 j
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference: T4 c7 L5 e* Q8 M, J' A
4 y* { m4 H5 `8 [' m; b# y; b, D1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 q2 o0 i4 K$ s" x7 F! s! ~
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 M% s/ N. [" \" Y+ Q1 d0 L: E
. _ z! a0 ?# d2 k# S D% i"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.$ j5 N0 N* B- I5 c0 ]! H
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 y( S. U9 u4 n3 Q
; j5 |! y9 v( fRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 D9 t5 R5 g# X6 a& [8 k
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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