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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& l# }3 M( c4 O7 ~. q' E* a* Q

" C. V. d  g* {+ `% [- ~I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:: O# w- k! F+ W" K' \  c/ I
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 |% C! {$ f  G+ m& K7 p* Z# z3 W0 C' U6 ~9 _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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/ `  L! R5 \% jAnd the second one was:
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0 k4 f. p% A% \0 r4 {6 p"What's the 2nd Amendment?"6 ^: D# z+ y- V8 g% R

- o7 P7 b3 c- \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ g( T: E! I/ V/ _9 ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 |& H3 p) R. X

$ M& d) @+ L' |, k9 s/ lI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 Y- ?% [$ E' v8 q5 {; E
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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7 Q4 m4 S' U3 X4 ^' {+ e0 y% q$ W, G: bI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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5 R' z) p/ X5 C, j# JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"- f) L( F" G. G. x/ F

/ d& \. [, n* |Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 P1 m( F) f# ]

+ A  L+ d" E2 m/ K5 ]0 n2 T$ t! qThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 J! i) P  |% i5 @8 e: `4 G
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Thank you very much!; V7 |4 l) m! [) D& q; K6 ~% Z/ C! ?

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" [# b; n5 e- G; C! hImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: ^0 c4 G% s9 g# g0 }. A2 ~

& H9 P: d) D  v9 m1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.( I( @, Y$ H$ e/ Q6 L- n
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ T, ]8 p7 Y9 c

5 W% I. U# n  K9 Q1 c! w, w# wJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
: [4 g' z  ^" A8 j; O+ J  G* Wa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。1 s) ^: z0 C% o# i
怎么理解?$ z7 o6 d/ y2 w3 e& P
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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5 N" R% K/ C- j6 u3 O! w, w不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
( k' L8 b' D+ p+ T2 o% x9 l( B怎么理解?% I# X* C# l& T" k: t) n
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?; m; O3 j, D3 y/ `1 g
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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* U2 j# b+ z5 T我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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* V! L8 E& H, s我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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