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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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$ ]) C/ K( P5 u5 d' M. ?I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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( X2 X* H+ k% h1 g5 w4 q5 |0 t0 gI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 d# O5 t. F3 r! e
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": Q, q- L6 w. M- F

( g# }" l$ L- U2 X' p& RI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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2 t' y! d% p& L: rAnd the second one was:. f) ?# {4 Y/ [3 H% u0 y- h9 Q

3 k: P$ r- C6 D3 y7 X, w1 H% N* r"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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7 `6 a- U0 A! NI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 D8 e% _, Z2 I/ a
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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" ~' u. ]# t* I! N' z- W8 ~I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?4 I8 z/ C' m3 c0 w" {

% e5 }) {  ~1 j# zI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!9 b2 Z  m5 g% b9 k* X3 M

) V" {# x. R* [  G7 W  mI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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3 g" E' |4 T; ?- O* A: Z- SSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 c) l3 {6 o6 E+ y$ \3 K

- @7 U' r/ ?: a9 VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 O9 K: J: @% u' Q9 C- j" Q  P

8 D2 I( ]" H& }7 mThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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/ J! M% Q5 n* ~( |Thank you very much!
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3 k% B5 ]! _& _( {- c: OImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- }3 B. d+ t# t3 t/ p

' I5 @- e2 t% {2 `0 ^! D. E2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' H! ~8 r/ W# G1 U; b
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.8 X5 v  u) E! G! I' f9 e  i% B: D
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.6 q( S3 d1 [; M( X/ W% E

3 b0 Q$ _4 N! k! L0 Y2 P2 j: U) V' i2 fThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
4 w6 W6 q/ y7 Va young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。( N  c; [; H, O. {
怎么理解?, v! s! f. j, [6 ]1 y% |
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。  {" z/ W: Q- [
怎么理解?
8 f9 m" X* T/ \  r, T, u5 e50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
' h! F; u2 N# h9 C0 ~4 q! j7 ]( Wcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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5 G3 k9 T( b. T3 K我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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