 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.$ Z' q$ \: b. M& d8 N( a" Q6 K
H+ x2 B, |. B2 _I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; l+ f2 l) [' R8 x
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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8 b( {. f: S/ aI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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5 T, p3 j2 ?, G; g g# E/ O2 WAnd the second one was:" _1 Z! [% c( g0 J3 J5 R
- R+ o% Y9 E: R& C' Y"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; N* v& Y4 M2 I8 `1 b* F. v
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* t0 F8 t+ t0 o$ C6 Y! i0 {
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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9 _, u: B# M6 p. i( pI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."; m! d5 w* u; c: W1 ]6 y
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 N X# m Z; ?/ z
7 \& w3 e- h4 e2 y" xNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.3 S) v% [& e' O+ q, C
e- e, R: k5 G3 O- Y# ^Thank you very much!1 J2 q( A& y$ J" a \2 E% m
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3 I0 t9 ~" F' D( GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# R) g7 @; u- w" K
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms. f/ N O. `, L, v% x8 u h
4 a1 C; `) e4 Q% r- {2 ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.- ^( Z' I: c1 q1 p% v
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 k7 l) J9 L6 H
3 f. I h0 B, H+ A" SRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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/ _) D8 K0 c" NThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
