 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.0 ?. L* j5 X1 J: Z& K' |
9 _. c# P0 B% xI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* r4 @5 E; \5 Q
5 G+ w# \0 D3 j2 r( m" h. |I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years., p7 j7 L1 V: [' k( ]
% z4 v6 E1 \9 ~; L" v2 p( rI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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. W% s m/ @; z"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"# ^/ J2 T3 D, V6 y$ @
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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( d, _# T4 d r( e% `"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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# U1 z6 h5 N+ V2 rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ D2 s( E+ V$ d4 A8 D% y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ l7 G+ J5 M' z8 h- F9 }. h7 T
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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: ^& B: S; `. g0 _5 w: k- e: RI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"- c! J" T4 Y0 c1 D5 p
6 ^- [# y2 c( {7 n DNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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# [0 q2 q# [. j2 {, f! }* D9 KThank you very much!7 ]: P' \; T! H- f. B( o
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. B& J; j$ w1 A* ]. KImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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( |! |2 k# T7 q, P, m4 L9 V" K1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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3 w0 O/ C& H" N! N" A2 M2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.) d8 D; a+ @0 }3 F. m/ _
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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% }6 ?. j% b2 Q9 Q+ W5 ZJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.% P% V, s8 G: o. R
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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