 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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1 ~& p" Y3 i8 q6 W! {5 tI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 g" o. D# o: [
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"9 e3 H, Y7 e2 v1 i6 e t" _ U
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 s7 w" |: S4 w; y9 ~* a
# H0 i, q6 f3 l- v* FAnd the second one was:0 n+ _8 ?5 N- x/ {( E8 G& O
- N) W+ ^; F4 z& v! e8 K"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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: O7 q2 V7 u2 @I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" R5 }' S3 V6 }* {, g1 ]1 E* A3 v+ W
- p4 j# `' l9 }* @. N( @; pI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 C4 W( w$ X Y7 ?6 [I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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/ O: b+ _% K; a" y% qI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"3 R5 T1 y7 |' ]6 {3 ~& M
. L4 Q2 k. O' F3 z/ a: m" r. VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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4 ^" q5 h3 g6 e1 F6 S" I9 iImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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) w# x& x i5 W6 D$ X Z( ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".# T6 ]6 ~' R7 E
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 V S" K7 r1 L7 k
) ]' g& g2 u9 UThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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