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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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5 f" Q% O2 t& Y/ KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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6 \; ]" m/ N0 ^# zI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.' V, _( D- k5 N+ V! W0 w

3 X! H! S: m: I; Y- U$ g. WI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": d" C6 c  `/ U8 Q) ?
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. @7 V+ s0 R/ I1 O% XAnd the second one was:. Q* M* ]" u6 h+ s6 F
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"7 C( I; R6 p& T3 g
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. f) Q7 x: ~# Q
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?# E9 P+ ?5 S, D& [6 G8 o2 N  b

. I' ?) z% D3 G. Q4 C; W$ h3 WI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!' y3 l( W8 _% \4 w
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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7 [) ~  u( Q% \0 b; VSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") Z5 G3 f* H0 G$ D% v0 k: b

6 w: q! m2 _9 `0 U+ {# ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”: M8 n2 i! d: R
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.. B* H3 P; }& P! e
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Thank you very much!9 W6 Z- d- t- D4 h! Y

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* W2 p9 O3 Z% |0 ?Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% p+ h# b) Q0 Q; ~

6 g- m4 M3 Y3 ?" g6 I7 X1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.. Z! n) E5 Z4 A

% r9 R8 ]- a+ o( X% @1 h2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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/ F% G/ G5 Y2 P7 Y6 S2 A"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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5 H- Q4 I- P0 t" `3 vJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".* h( L- z$ M  R+ f3 p6 Z% [
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( Q9 R4 y9 v- L4 r! t
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
3 S, @/ _3 F2 J; ca young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。: ]6 V5 A* N* R
怎么理解?! N  k) u9 g, g% T" M( G+ y
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。; m6 }; b# B) q+ g3 j" l) t
怎么理解?0 `& B) o; Z/ b9 X& W
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?2 U, y. q. G8 G; L
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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