 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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8 v. @1 ]: o( l* v6 n- eI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.+ H }/ @: u3 g$ V& G% R7 H
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 e2 G' ^! w" \$ K( w
8 n) t- ]; t" a$ V- a- f/ wI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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, E% v2 P$ ?7 Y- x3 |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* d: \2 z( W1 J9 \: M4 sAnd the second one was:
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7 L. Z2 Q" I' Z* D"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& | T! _ Y; U/ \2 x* h
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"0 f6 D$ `0 n5 G2 a `7 V# m% V
% J [5 I5 ^5 |( H, kI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?& W* |# E8 x' Q- p$ ^6 l0 y# E( {
& r: H: [- y2 u' g0 [8 dI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 O$ `- Q- k# W# T3 c# B: q" e
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& @/ N- W% b; N s: c o5 V
4 o( n0 R4 d+ S/ N9 oSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ P3 H7 D% M! m2 E7 O/ A- b% X
l! ?! _! g5 I! TNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”$ h1 V4 Y3 }2 M6 n/ p
" W+ [( c% b5 Y( m; h; fThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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' C% v. l1 M$ U' P2 HThank you very much!
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& `% T: f3 T: M* uImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:$ s( y f( i, D5 I( {$ O' n
3 q5 J0 g! m/ v! {) v" ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.0 g# D& L0 E4 S0 T
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." ]. N) T' F- m3 s' ~% z
& l+ f8 h! R5 m2 D2 v# J+ w" A"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ H$ [; @, C/ w
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.! n, m/ b' M& Q2 v8 [/ i+ M8 r
* ]3 n" D. d9 ^+ f, KThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
