 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe., n* n8 T4 `! @4 g2 G
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.3 U N" `' T g2 g6 T
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." ]3 k) M2 f7 Z$ d
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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* f- `& w3 @# b7 y; z* pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; r) y% K- Z) E z: n; v9 oAnd the second one was:
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" q* l9 M1 p2 p"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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% s! T. B3 T/ b, T"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" a6 R+ U6 N! h3 M0 Y% T& Q$ N
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ {8 j$ i1 @# v
( P9 f. y1 _/ X* v+ Q: w4 C0 @8 OI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 x5 X6 B& L6 B1 m+ D5 w# D% o0 F
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."! t9 W) f$ j8 S$ a- j
. O/ h: Q0 F: Q* Z3 JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"7 q- D# {! q& }2 d J" t
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- p& i4 m/ ~) A ^8 h4 l/ z- F. I' _
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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* s6 h; I+ K: g6 u+ s, jImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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/ b5 L$ e; S' i/ o. d U# t1 n/ f# O3 A2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 w6 b" f3 ~8 E k, A! u( n. ]) x0 g
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 R3 x3 Y; }6 h \9 y6 E
7 v7 V/ W4 X) q6 N: QThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
