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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.: x% |) j! U* S* H6 _- j7 ?- C" Y( g
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.- I2 c( E. U9 q; w8 q

; g0 W1 k* l- x; H, g) {5 qI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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5 _' q4 x3 c+ T7 J: |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:$ [) b" h) M$ S5 v. i

+ n- D) H: I6 l/ U"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: ]0 p; A9 }! b* m! {And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"* W( v/ n% T$ r% Q! l; B3 z3 O3 C* @
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?0 X- I! ?) R5 y, t6 C
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!4 |3 r0 ?1 P+ H  Y0 l; S( n

7 c6 H2 a4 W, A( P3 }6 B7 ^: H$ xI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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( _$ a- |$ F8 R  e5 t0 ZSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"' ], _) V% v5 B
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”# R, s3 Z7 \$ \$ D' B% @

$ @0 x# j6 m+ T+ ]% T3 ]This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!$ C( n+ p; b" ?) u/ ^$ K
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6 z  N" k4 X: A, V# i1 h2 @Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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/ C+ Y# G0 I" O1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 B7 }0 I4 Z; V' W2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 c' z, H5 |3 P, B

) j3 j! ~" o; _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 W# y! R9 p2 M) m1 D2 E5 W( LRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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0 b9 d4 e( w* K: q7 [) U0 wThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
8 m; V4 }! N  A3 F4 Q2 Ma young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
) d8 N5 y5 H6 h2 r$ ~" p3 }4 E怎么理解?$ v0 D( h0 h8 W9 K
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 4 L. ?8 Z& O& W* z& f1 i: C

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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。! J* V2 H' \5 B, D) `0 Z" k, X
怎么理解?; l( X: U  ^- _! a
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
6 O5 H$ K& p5 [/ O7 a# e/ f3 q) `cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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6 L% k3 {) f2 k9 L我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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