 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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. q$ _, Y/ s6 o; ]5 e# LI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.+ @0 E) e- t4 x) T: y$ z6 @
! o% q# L: k. y% ]9 Y6 n( s! _2 _I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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- C+ S& z4 j: eI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ I& H; ?5 J8 ?9 [: @
, C: O6 b% V7 v3 j0 k) z5 wAnd the second one was:* b$ h. w0 v* [5 U @8 Y
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 a$ k+ k0 p. Q; l# J
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"8 m `, m0 X, p8 }( \% \
( F' ?" P5 a5 h+ r% |. J& r* p: RI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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5 f; ~8 w% h) a; z' x# C' H5 YI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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) L6 ?' H* @! e4 Q( v2 ^8 ~I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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/ U. {: z* P; [. G7 zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 e; D. G5 }( V( _9 S+ P# n" f& P f
3 @& N4 z j1 u3 v& f/ j! F6 XThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.; u( p2 X: \) W% D* l- ~
4 N% u; n5 Y! c- UThank you very much!7 e. |, H. K: }# r5 M
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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0 v/ ~' f4 ]0 N+ E1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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1 W' O; L( O+ W( O2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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9 g0 a7 g# l% {/ x9 y8 \- l"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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# J2 T, P9 O, }- c: b, \4 rRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.: @4 N+ K9 H, R2 v! `$ ^1 p! v
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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