 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.; J: q- r# ~0 ^ S
^& X$ H# C. R+ `2 o* mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 o; d" F) N/ J `& m7 i7 F
" G6 {' Q4 p" U% TI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- L: X( ?8 I' I
( t6 i* Q9 P" G9 `"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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- m+ Q# F( y# F2 s* T+ MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' c$ s) S' k4 U+ `
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And the second one was:
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5 T+ e8 C! |. v7 E"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% h4 d' U* B, {& S0 A1 Q
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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" U' H1 C* A5 R! VI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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5 \4 G; N* H7 S) A( @4 E1 f2 ]I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."! X0 k1 l% |( H* I
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"% i% j* V1 t1 T8 \
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”( O8 M/ r- e+ @# O0 m: V
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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% ~ ]9 n% c9 e6 L$ NThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:. _6 o- [! ^' E( D; I8 E9 ^
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% F9 {& F9 [! Z1 H; w
1 P3 s( e0 \, T3 T* w% t2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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y' O6 w9 _0 C$ i1 i: v6 A! L"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.- q' Y+ a+ }0 g/ x9 |. L/ F J
* {, L' z/ \& m, y* Y" cJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. j6 r+ ^3 i: R( V7 W
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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