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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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; C4 U2 X8 L  J  c: o6 {9 ^2 o1 E7 HI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 m+ L" Q8 X1 O' M# Y; ?
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. o- u" j6 A, T

7 N( l) O" N+ g/ d5 c1 ^& H( {. MI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"% C3 Q* H3 |& c1 c( T: a
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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; v2 Y% Z$ v! l: f0 F' p  \"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 S& |2 a0 g  P! ^' s! m  h0 W/ l* B# `5 ^

0 N% Z0 ^5 V; u8 p& k"What is Roe vs. Wade?"  B+ a; d( F! ~9 Q
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 e7 ?. B) B( k  v% J  ?I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. C/ G; e/ p* ?5 T  S9 J; o9 Z% v
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; I9 R" f+ @; _4 `* S1 k& `# ONow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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4 z8 h2 G4 o% z! A5 uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:# P7 {; D+ V; c% `5 w

- N4 A( O6 N2 C3 C1 p$ h1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 v& t; m+ Q  W8 o1 G) ~) x( ?

/ e4 j0 d9 ~, R7 D; ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: e% n3 L' C1 v. Y" o  a
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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3 r8 o0 K5 m- N0 m, c) A! g% |The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
' S9 D2 j4 y9 I2 o% ta young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。, `  G2 ?6 W2 R: ~( _: v2 g- k  D
怎么理解?
8 A. X& U0 i# \50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
$ C3 j9 H7 Z. ~' f怎么理解?" a) B! H0 M% c, \$ `
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
9 I( N' Q6 C5 D# y5 wcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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$ q$ U/ q8 ]2 m: v* B* p我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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