 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 d" U1 u' n' T. f) a3 ^% g0 w
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.; t8 Z$ n& d# A+ J# V" j
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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$ K; K& W& d; V% N1 M* vI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. f3 R5 t5 [" v2 h( B0 O5 K) }5 tAnd the second one was:+ |7 h- T4 m+ z" _" R. }5 ^
9 l8 w; W* n9 `6 s7 Q! G"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( b' X, ^5 J( R; v
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. @1 f) [. }( x1 w
7 m( o3 B$ T$ p; ~I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!3 p8 O) O/ D, |" A
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! _2 Z+ @3 {8 \$ d# Q( m
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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0 D/ P" K5 C* E) K* V2 O5 q+ D! QThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., S h& v; l" F5 ~6 |- o
) \9 @1 Q& y- x! Y, ?' NThank you very much!0 X8 {. `9 {6 q9 y( D" c
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6 e% T( F8 U7 y* ^3 a' WImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:& w! j7 P3 z" o! I8 ?
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 x+ ]8 i+ B1 Y( i( P
/ I) B3 U% K# M5 h! E7 q, [2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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/ m5 A/ _: j8 C2 b; {Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: P! `/ R; h2 h" t8 t5 d2 c! r
, A) Y( i: _- `$ g& m8 _; URoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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& y, {8 H& V$ h/ \: \" \& A6 g( uThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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