 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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/ g2 a/ N% p; f3 ZI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 M5 I! {% F7 I9 o* @
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ ?5 N+ n9 V& `& e! ~
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 J2 i! S3 U' @; { l+ W
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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- s! ]( ]6 c A, SI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ ^7 O; E# |" w; ^' v1 v
9 z4 ~, G u s. [And the second one was:* M" R0 i6 G5 C A U* B k' C9 k
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?" U% C5 Z, X* y* F3 I- E
8 B3 n, ?4 j, k4 A( lI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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# i; j; B) O, L& K"What is Roe vs. Wade?": |( ?0 f' T) n; ]! }
& k7 j' u. s9 yI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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8 S# K, @5 ^" F& yI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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) Q. }6 ^9 p; ]6 S! gSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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. y/ n( {$ \6 i, b! k+ p) v% ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”% D, ? g( R" H" i
/ ]2 J2 m% p0 }/ I, L4 \' u0 Z+ cThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- G9 w4 g2 e3 m4 X1 }: f3 I: Q
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Thank you very much!# _3 ]0 [5 B) {
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# ~6 V) d3 M: z( i! `Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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; n: z4 }) F9 @: T. t/ Y5 R& O1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.: R/ N; b" s0 q' {+ K# _0 W
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.0 |; Y- S* s& k4 U# Z/ s
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
