 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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2 }, Z5 f' K$ H f$ yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# @$ ]2 A$ r; S4 }! q* I
, t; _, l8 V# y9 k/ l; s" ?1 JI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.' j4 U1 s/ @& T& C4 p! a1 E1 f5 ?
! n2 S5 F! b5 t; L: FI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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% ?4 g! I; @ d) k7 \0 b"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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: u3 f7 r$ `% s& ?I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* |. A7 w8 \3 Y
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And the second one was:& h5 S) \9 d& ^9 O2 {' w Q
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! O1 [% o! Y$ A" |, R$ l8 D
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 y+ {3 J% e" ~: j3 i* Q% \
: M/ `; t+ B* e. h6 {& O, U"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 d- R' F P' H: t
5 d) w( o3 M; S0 b: BI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?( | z- X3 Y/ e6 V' B9 r- @) T; U
1 W/ T9 s9 f) e1 `$ l+ S; UI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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" F; H& h4 A2 H0 U5 WNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. \$ G! o3 B( K" \; v) X; L
0 A- V# [8 A5 y$ C* i( B$ HThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.! Q3 S9 e W8 ~& S* q" G" | l
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Thank you very much!
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+ g* ^5 P2 X& r$ FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% k. |- ^, [( m7 u0 x6 a, @
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.5 C' m, l0 L" m* b0 R) K( d1 y
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- L! g; y1 k t l L+ a. I9 {
) e. r" I ]. E) rRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.# b' k! ]4 O5 ?5 ~& Y* u
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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