 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.4 I3 u; H9 t, `8 r# _0 p! S
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 g2 ?9 p+ F% k
` i) \3 \" u7 b; zI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 k$ P% G( q4 n$ g4 R
# z; ?% J4 ^6 A/ d- u. h3 NI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- K; }. R1 U7 V' l
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% Y3 k' R' W; o7 s
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?5 u9 n- F# @( ?3 [
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!& K2 U7 {8 F6 f, V6 N
: l: Z# D" @2 G2 C' `: rI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 H, l( C4 G0 b! z4 I' d+ X" d% U
/ T" r. L9 j' c/ q; N J$ x6 [$ s) c+ qSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"9 }0 T w: S7 }# ^, \1 T
9 m5 j# a. f3 s) VNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”) U& k) j0 P8 k' }, |( N
5 { E: S q( E; ?8 [6 e1 JThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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0 V: [& y8 B4 ?Thank you very much!
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7 U; a7 V/ Y) z: i4 d1 H* [Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:& _1 D1 `' G9 n
% p/ F0 T8 e+ U7 v$ f- t1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill./ f9 f4 j. m! ?
& |+ B F# y- u6 {1 P$ T2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' t3 ]$ e, ~' h6 y4 ]
4 N( ?: k4 S. x% h) m+ A" t1 j"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ j* O( l1 y. }& v+ d
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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