 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
/ J) v" ? B& c; o: e
6 I( W+ X( `+ C% J5 T8 [I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
" c) n- ]$ X, U/ L' F0 ?# E, n0 O6 J w+ a
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
' W4 }* J2 \/ \
( a" l- o% c5 [' V3 oI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
6 C9 c( a m* ~* ]( ]" `
& ?, s' @% p# U3 E$ }5 i"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
- J- B/ R) }/ N4 }2 g1 }; i: b
( j @2 _# V5 L1 T% _9 UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ [2 P5 H* P H3 e9 @# W+ g2 ]
7 k: p1 c) U" M* G
And the second one was:8 Y9 W2 j, `9 _$ ^" z: Q5 |
^$ q! |+ G$ H1 ]' W8 M) Q0 s9 h"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( D8 b+ ?6 g( l
- m4 l, n) ~" ^+ m) v ], b' J6 V fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?6 N# g5 Y9 I+ s& `5 D7 x7 _
) y( N* }; n( X9 u"What is Roe vs. Wade?", y$ Y1 b5 T/ h. b" [3 Q( m
8 Z1 v3 ] `5 ?+ N# T3 Y; \
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?5 _7 N. z+ S- {6 m
8 V4 ~2 p5 Q2 C/ U/ \, R, |% E
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!2 k9 X9 i; o+ E3 V" E( T
5 n/ W1 S) B; }# nI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 K r' s6 f! L% j" Z+ @! z8 D
* J7 k, F! C) Z, T$ `
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
. ]5 E8 k) Z4 a% P! m1 i( o/ v* @, H0 L4 {2 y& a5 ~
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”, E% |1 q2 G( P) V& X$ [* \& w
5 b- E& }8 h7 l' N% CThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
" X" e) x/ V$ K6 s+ T4 Z$ }) R. G% J. x$ P& U% }, V
Thank you very much!
# g0 r6 V, W, I8 A& t% V$ d: g! h$ ], }$ U
==========================
* j5 X) Z4 C( x9 R9 D: V; ~
) n* o4 b# R! t' KImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
# R9 {$ l6 N9 B+ ~- |3 E$ ~+ [
. F! c7 W1 ?! p5 N/ `6 a9 y1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
! |4 A, A; \) ~3 G p% I$ c! S4 F
- d4 n) e8 q# u: N) `* v1 V( c' [% _) g2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.$ [/ R( N' z, j- m' L/ f7 u5 Z+ j
7 G) m( \3 l2 r3 r3 O6 q# o" d7 R
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.' L; ]( @" v# i- h G* a
( `7 |: W+ B/ h
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"." @6 T) Q+ v% w8 K1 `! v3 s5 a
0 j* }$ T6 i6 J4 }, L7 {5 q- D N# V2 X/ E
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
* M9 Z! l! B$ |4 C4 b# ^ M% C( z" O; B9 w5 o5 t% F% K, G
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|