 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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" p5 {! r- v5 \& n! k$ i: yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.' q6 _ G9 n& ?9 E
+ g! u6 N' k' Y3 @ |0 E$ ?6 ^8 HI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 }6 C, Z% S8 ?8 e1 t% U
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And the second one was:+ w% A z9 H. t( z( n
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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" I. K3 q+ B- F1 h9 I8 N' FI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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# X! Z+ n5 c4 W+ x5 G# W"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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8 [0 }3 F; s p- A5 @: o$ N+ nI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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3 T2 _0 @5 s( B( [" H( vI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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[, ]- M1 O6 j5 |' J/ |( ySo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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* Q; @& v5 _4 l) R: a5 d0 G9 ^Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much! y4 O3 ^2 T; j" ~- v" [% c! p* [
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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- o% X* B0 m) [9 Z1 ?1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 T& W3 a* ]$ Y6 ~; u2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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+ B$ I3 A8 c; xJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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O# p& \2 _! R+ cRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 ^( M( N1 b) e+ d; L+ `* k2 }
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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