 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 d" U1 u' n' T. f) a3 ^% g0 w
+ c5 Z/ Z4 o( B+ `
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
1 `/ X3 q; \' T4 R4 {/ K; b, I" V
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.; t8 Z$ n& d# A+ J# V" j
4 K L, N- ]" P8 U
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
1 K7 ], Q5 B" |- J& ~0 O9 {: p/ k) P7 N1 J5 J6 j0 z
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
, Y3 P. H7 A5 L; s* X4 V
$ K; K& W& d; V% N1 M* vI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
1 z. E3 ^1 l- \! J$ w, y
. f3 R5 t5 [" v2 h( B0 O5 K) }5 tAnd the second one was:+ |7 h- T4 m+ z" _" R. }5 ^
9 l8 w; W* n9 `6 s7 Q! G"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( b' X, ^5 J( R; v
) |7 `& \4 ~( [& Q4 X! p
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
9 v3 v8 _+ L/ `5 o* E" J8 o; x7 y( `3 y7 \3 p$ \) R {
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
: E* [' \1 w; g% S. ?1 l& d5 ^8 i) s
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. @1 f) [. }( x1 w
7 m( o3 B$ T$ p; ~I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!3 p8 O) O/ D, |" A
4 a4 g( x! w+ H O
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
7 [ ~ k! q. V3 \' r- R6 m. N4 ^1 T- Y4 H8 q
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! _2 Z+ @3 {8 \$ d# Q( m
2 {6 d9 O/ W. T) e0 I n
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
5 }% [. s8 r O: e: N3 h- w9 K
0 D/ P" K5 C* E) K* V2 O5 q+ D! QThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., S h& v; l" F5 ~6 |- o
) \9 @1 Q& y- x! Y, ?' NThank you very much!0 X8 {. `9 {6 q9 y( D" c
, p7 r# M$ w- p==========================
% g* n, O- F* F4 ?, f+ s
6 e% T( F8 U7 y* ^3 a' WImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:& w! j7 P3 z" o! I8 ?
# e% ]9 f, \8 r
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 x+ ]8 i+ B1 Y( i( P
/ I) B3 U% K# M5 h! E7 q, [2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
- }, {! X3 u4 v1 ~( g7 E4 `. m: K. d4 ]/ ^8 x" E5 l+ h# B0 o) X$ U
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
! w7 r) |: y! I3 C# r
/ m5 A/ _: j8 C2 b; {Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: P! `/ R; h2 h" t8 t5 d2 c! r
, A) Y( i: _- `$ g& m8 _; URoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
6 j/ V/ b3 }# O$ W) C8 u
& y, {8 H& V$ h/ \: \" \& A6 g( uThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
