 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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" j: w2 O2 H2 n( |6 VI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.+ K; T8 b, S9 H
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 ^% o3 {( C1 t# X- A$ {6 S"Who's Benjamin Franklin?") e5 I, l9 ~7 T& \; y5 i/ J
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:! j6 k* c- E* P z1 x$ c# L, D
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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8 K$ D. u2 u& d4 L. R* o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"7 \7 _6 @6 Q2 k8 F0 {2 T" g% d
; w; d5 ?& R' `' O- A) ZI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?7 _& a$ ]# z% u3 p- \
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 K! H' p) g: c( e4 I
% f4 G* i4 L) X7 p0 i* bI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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5 [# v3 H9 D6 N3 cSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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3 O0 r, y1 ~3 a) w7 X6 oNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 @. C) A0 G+ j* L
; G& i. M C/ l* X6 Y rThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 X# f4 v, Q! X; @2 Y C) |
: y5 K- |* }: C7 w# ?6 w- UThank you very much!
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/ ]& X; `! p; A6 N+ a8 m" G9 GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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+ d, O# p0 s& e) w* a"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( ?6 g8 `4 n) D! I0 e6 J7 `
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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" T8 q& p! e, s: j) c- SThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
