黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

# `$ X8 s+ y& U- g7 vI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 |! m* l- P& O4 |"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"

. E4 S$ g5 w: \4 tI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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- Z7 V; m8 A, D6 N% ?7 b8 `4 `; g"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 q# W" Q6 ^/ R; f  |* h% BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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' A9 G8 C) H% V, Q) o"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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6 d4 x. ?8 T# u8 l: t6 k$ K9 hI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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0 F- E5 G4 k; |! e! aSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

. F0 i; @4 p- W5 J- u2 ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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- C) F/ P) L7 [7 d) [6 W5 f# SThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.

Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

- c8 l5 p9 `+ X1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

! n2 m# E0 [8 V. D2 ^4 @Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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; Z0 D2 _0 Y5 Q( o& _  HThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
4 r1 U( A! K  Ya young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
$ w6 P$ c7 @9 @3 d2 `8 G怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
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不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
+ P8 |" }5 y5 k50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
& F) V4 J( v0 q$ o4 rcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

0 r6 F- T7 C0 V# m2 b! r我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.