 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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: n/ r* q- U* s4 z/ Y% n9 nI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you. C- N5 l- e% T. a/ |
4 P" E/ f5 o3 M8 dI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.( F9 ?/ L8 k; p9 [) _; D9 w
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:% O3 s* y5 J8 C
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 q9 W V) T# v7 u7 U5 d- L; I
5 P, t8 L4 e8 D: @' G7 WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; M" ]% ?$ |0 M# [1 ]5 HAnd the second one was:
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/ y y, a; Y5 a( e1 X( Q2 S"What's the 2nd Amendment?"2 b, T, D2 `% K4 q
: Y' l* v, @' w# K! M$ s& W) [) \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 F9 T ~: ?1 c: s7 n"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?! o6 \" g4 I" n* p9 H3 Q
- R9 P# _6 }2 P3 X8 PI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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, M6 O6 |8 ?) P. Y7 eI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". X$ f5 a- ]. o7 f, X
5 O) s* [3 n3 x; N% M0 X- iSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!' j* F/ d, R* u* U3 y, g' @7 T
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:& i- d+ @' O. i- r0 x' K& o
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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, x% Y$ e+ l' _/ r* z# k& Z& N2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.8 O: m% i) Q: Q- v
1 I2 V! w" i5 g% N/ Q"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.9 O4 `1 ?( F8 ]$ @
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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1 c. d' Z. U q- I P" u+ i7 Y+ ^& FRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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