 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.8 p7 {3 o$ l X1 A* g f
4 Q8 n) p& C7 [- ~I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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8 A/ V( l0 h1 G5 a# y+ n, m. mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 X% E% L; O: g e' h; Z
, |1 R4 I8 H7 M4 A$ ~9 pI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 B; N" @( J4 ^4 u0 Q( }6 R- P% r"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"5 a7 ?4 H! _: [7 K4 a
/ o/ f. v4 T' C; V) Q+ @2 LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 N0 Z0 X) c( \. D' v& }: z
% G/ B" ~8 J3 H1 h' gAnd the second one was:# O' @8 x2 `- y( |& a
B' p$ U# p/ D- Z"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( B# N; ~/ A* `2 T/ X9 m
1 j7 i; ^6 | m7 bI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& t6 Q9 A6 ^# w9 R( h; L [% W
9 G! j$ Q5 R- E2 f* Z1 M5 H* s"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! E3 Q- a1 V2 P( X6 |
5 N0 k+ b: _" L7 e V4 z* ?) zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; k' B' z' V! C
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 v0 d% }9 u, f1 c3 b _) Z0 c
( |/ R1 h; P( \1 o1 ?$ i( O5 YI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 \" l$ X+ K* v$ H4 ]8 T! S1 \+ }3 |2 x
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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$ n% u0 a! ^8 z$ TNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!2 ?4 O+ h1 ^4 O9 U: ?: ~$ h0 `
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:+ u9 G9 _6 \- B1 b" o8 H* ]
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ P! l3 H/ k# }( y1 w+ x3 N
8 X7 }; w4 v2 p3 r, ^2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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; H/ G1 R3 b2 x+ m5 A1 i5 P/ n1 S"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& t- M7 Y( V9 r' ?) r/ [$ X3 p4 x
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. ^% G# S4 O; p
" `4 u9 G9 d4 D/ {& \8 OThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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