 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.4 r( e5 [0 r- i; y" [" U8 f
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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' {5 z# U+ z5 ^# ^I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 i& L+ a9 J3 [% U. W0 a
5 X) C6 M8 I @5 @: II was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: @$ D8 g4 j2 p9 U$ J; ~9 P; S( ^
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"9 ]' ^7 Z1 t) L2 A' ~$ ^. K
5 o5 l6 z+ u8 GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- d s6 G j. [
: j& Q0 H; K& k w: l" I"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& p/ x- z. C6 c1 X2 v
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 h* a* M( V9 T
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 o2 f9 I) ?( }( c6 ]0 J- t, P
7 R; n; r! b ~7 |9 @4 X/ lSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& O* d1 G& R( o$ z: W2 E
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.3 P3 o+ d/ j9 A; D9 T
- Y! l6 G: {7 ^; U7 A" A5 RThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.1 K4 k: [9 F) |) h; E/ u
. I" T2 v3 o2 L5 Y$ R9 k/ _9 F7 B"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 K5 {, Z t+ V; S' I
" ~" K7 |4 \# w- _' cJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% c( N2 V$ s% {9 O' p3 L: n6 ZRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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