 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.6 J9 `- ~* |/ A$ p, r- O
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.& ` n7 j+ \+ y8 P& B0 c
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years., ^7 h1 p6 m* S( B4 b1 I' q+ x+ @
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 [: a3 h( P$ p
) @1 t6 o4 x" M3 zI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 Z, L( A$ G% G" v- c/ x
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And the second one was:; }! q6 s5 G# V s2 x/ {* T. u) H
$ G# Q! A' h! r4 h2 V; a, l( s% j"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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* d3 J; a2 h I' ?. u) q6 }, qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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# i; I7 D u2 r0 pI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) H% @* G0 W% u' Y
/ o3 S5 i* m7 t/ a6 D; TI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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$ U4 D7 W! U. \6 ~& cI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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& }4 L- N% ]8 ~' ~* {Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 Z2 u7 T1 W/ B1 ~7 \7 ?" n1 l
! t/ ]/ [9 n- B1 bThank you very much!+ E" l! x: e- F3 I* C* J
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- |( u1 t9 F, f" i% o3 r# R4 \0 pImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.' v' s9 M) l; z0 |# R* }: x
, |, r) ?5 I8 ?3 f6 \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.& B1 }+ f$ |4 d& p# e: f
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".! s+ H2 y7 U- X$ R5 v* g% {
" y2 z! d6 U$ A3 c5 s# Q' C( SRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ }( y3 l$ `1 k O1 Q
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
