黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
; M; O( C+ [% I( X  ~7 W
: G( w; N6 a8 JI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
2 u9 B2 Q4 C5 m: e0 t# Z* Q
9 [5 O1 Q. ]. O2 e. d7 J8 z! QI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
5 d) ~- V9 E9 U; E( m6 q  M
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
" a4 P. K. \! l: J/ W& N: l
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

0 f  X/ J8 f9 E8 d( {/ g7 tAnd the second one was:
# u* X& {) x4 F& Q4 t4 H* X& _5 b
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

1 @9 ~7 ?# \6 d+ V+ AI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
8 K" ~* a( M4 e' c
2 D- ^* Y' Y* i& o/ x  Z" J"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
' `; P* W& ^' ^# I  V$ n0 d; S
) q; g- m2 P+ w$ L) w. fI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
6 z* T% x; p  g+ a
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

6 B+ P& [  b6 Y8 p( T, L; X8 C2 ]This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
$ v" e. f# F1 E
( `: _+ ^3 y2 E8 e1 i9 [Thank you very much!
9 t  ^% n  G3 d
==========================
" r5 K4 V. T. u! A
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

6 q6 P+ L7 H" b: ?! r4 M- J; d1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
1 r% C: B- d3 w
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
& g/ B: i/ p2 o# T' W. G
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
# y5 v) j( W# Z3 N& P9 e- e
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.

( [1 c8 p  G* T( dThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
5 }6 ^4 J# `. q3 t% a* r怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
* s% p$ W' k8 _* }

# a( {7 e2 j; F- c, J% e; Q不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
8 A; A5 \  M, O& m( C0 h9 `/ U怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

8 a& k. }6 R7 W; b. |4 D# k
我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
+ Q. m/ X- F( X$ Q9 ]4 N
我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.