黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

7 Y* O: S4 M/ g9 e- l. _6 @: H. ]I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ Z( z5 e, m9 O. }+ o* OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

* m  V- G5 @' \$ C2 s, r0 kAnd the second one was:

! s+ l" T8 V, q! }3 m* U' U"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

9 i7 c) e* F4 K1 fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* a0 |) ]; t  Y) d* R$ ]/ p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

7 F- Q$ w+ D9 _1 [I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?

I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!

+ L, q$ }  d% v- h' c& j' dI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 Q( O/ q0 n1 |5 j4 k' C, d+ x+ RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

# C: _3 h1 ^! @( IThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!

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6 o: b- T2 U% i* W  U" T; O# n& v! GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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* Y# y' }) J$ w" Q8 m1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 _& G. Y4 Q+ Q. w& y( e2 |2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

- f: f& @$ \6 d+ j& V: {5 N# rJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

: k- W! M0 X" _& }  E) V: Y3 ?2 bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
+ @# O' J# ~4 ^2 w; F& [7 p50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
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不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
+ N+ A6 p& [+ l( x6 L, v! L) P& [怎么理解？
6 G1 ^9 ^- D8 m* h50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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1 t" |' {) |- j" b0 }7 u/ H我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.