 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
4 ], D# O% D/ T/ u% u0 ^/ k
2 s! u! j( F( {0 gI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.) K4 m5 R w& c( H2 R
8 L9 `& n3 u4 z2 s3 ZI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
1 f+ n$ l6 f [3 Z" Q' N# z; ?7 E/ x* s* ]6 k1 b
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
: B' G7 Y4 u& B9 W: y0 r5 B" T0 f; O! k
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"( \) D/ s0 V2 l8 ?) f
: d. P P% v& o3 }I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
9 A; w) O6 w% K4 t% j5 |: m- ]8 x/ x. s5 `" X
And the second one was:- w8 {7 V* D& Y0 t
% M; q& n1 K) i6 {0 p$ n
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
* [/ I L0 g( F4 n; e( `: X; P% Y7 x* r
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ q3 V; w! @7 B4 `% }) s: o# W
7 }. O; ?( Q' h0 F5 X
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' m) z& I) y: y1 G) k/ Q- N
9 M) j! g) k5 X/ g9 U* qI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
+ X( H8 j+ X, P- C- D" }5 N- H% C& O8 w L2 Y1 k6 b
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 b9 B) \+ ]% D9 s/ c. c. Z9 G7 H
: a$ T# Q2 q. [3 r4 \# p
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 ~! T( q0 ~" N ~2 O: Q
0 a+ _4 n9 ~& o6 x; wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& g$ P1 D- A( S" W9 g5 ~, T* L/ V
7 Z+ q1 @0 W8 u8 ]- R+ |* t% i dNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
$ b. S7 S- l/ y: k8 p7 h
M. ~0 Q3 k+ l8 L/ L! IThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% l( F& x7 u5 n1 O! C8 F) J
9 j" s- u* _- ^( p* [/ Z# ?
Thank you very much!
: F, i( Q7 H0 D( E$ ~5 {0 f/ @$ Q$ I! H; b/ l
==========================
3 ?! E @1 m) n9 g& V5 L& y( n, N
2 Y) f+ M. A- c% l, C. v1 p# ~) o$ wImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
) m2 Y" ~5 p" Z" d% [) s8 x t. h! L$ c
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ P3 O9 ^& H; Y1 s2 n
. G, {/ ~, }& H! R4 r
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
3 [7 i" U6 d8 C, W" E$ B; I. `8 P2 @* G$ A
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
6 u: V8 | g h, d! b# e# v
' n+ w* N& k1 UJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
" e& N. J0 O/ [) U" c6 z, S r/ U! [* Q. Y3 y3 r' ?
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 j0 R& _- d6 v0 }4 K1 Q
: N4 K" ^5 I5 W* h# B- Y
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|