 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# b s7 _- X9 r; {# a0 Q
( Z5 Y- Q4 x, v# P# K1 DI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 ]7 W6 u% G# |. |* s
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"+ q7 M' \( i9 `/ c
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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( a# O" _) J/ T: p6 w, pAnd the second one was:4 l# [# T" t, _7 b4 W: t- }
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" ^" J: K8 |% r$ T1 U) V: r3 c5 s
4 r2 ~6 S# t5 `) |" `- ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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& l. B% P& {2 q" H, ^I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!$ \" B. s/ `% V: ]
1 p2 ~/ B# ^8 j: z7 e9 ?( KI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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8 w: o) _' ]; N* t2 lSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- Q6 h+ {3 g0 i) A8 e2 a% {
# D$ ?" l, @, I% h' d3 xThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!! A) {6 M8 z9 ?( N' n8 B
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3 V: C$ L+ U2 I( MImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, m- {* Y$ ?: w9 w
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill." N; h }% Z2 O9 h
) S9 `& z9 V( K& I L, k; c2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 V6 v9 Q1 Z& L$ P6 j0 G' p
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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* E2 x, v& q3 F# kJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- z$ w. {) ]7 I, W4 y
) I i% Z5 @& a1 O/ g- URoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ O" e" R; P/ D7 M1 u
& q- w0 W8 L6 W8 f ~; kThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
