 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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7 d' c$ D* G' yI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.: w/ W% h) s& Y/ u4 G* Y" @ b
! o& i0 J$ `( `5 m. Z9 O1 lI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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1 v; l. v. m8 C2 j5 sI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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! a+ R7 v% Z; P7 m% I1 p# i"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, j# _2 B8 D3 U* }3 X. P9 m' uAnd the second one was:$ D; }/ N d- s% x' a+ t" u1 t
! ^0 c, [4 T, J8 |& O0 I( R"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- w0 G9 n T& w; b3 b- l1 T
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 m/ W* E6 Y- u2 \- a/ X! s# J1 y1 |
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!2 c; c; m0 K4 `) x( E2 s
$ h K0 x5 p: r5 s& k) FI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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* j, O6 D+ X' m- D1 T- k% b% `So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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7 N5 I$ F! U1 U0 f5 U! l. g" y' OThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.( C" J I3 {& P5 i r* x8 {% ~
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Thank you very much!
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/ ^1 P3 K, Y% ^5 G; XImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.' q& v8 L5 i1 q# }4 q+ y4 ?
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.0 W- _) a) V5 M; G6 E. |: m1 E* }
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 a7 \# f0 P; \% }4 H" r! B
9 A) y# a3 q3 r! j% PJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".' m' j' T5 |7 ?9 S- x2 m
! _) K# [5 l x' A; ^9 n( ~) ARoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
