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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:8 ]5 k. N* J# t( C# T5 m
5 M- l0 T' H0 g) i; Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush+ y* f! c* h6 j- T: R5 d F/ o
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday& }; C; {( f! {8 q9 D$ h$ W7 B1 d: V1 p
morning.
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- Z, R0 H) h c# h4 `1 o/ T: ^, f3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
! p+ N" B8 [. G/ ryou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a, u) X* g. {* X; G; k& @: d, C
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 C+ e, n& e% A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* m% t {0 q- I. Z2 J) w' j5 ]2 m
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ D9 q" b6 y4 f1 u7 [) V# Qgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell0 L _! O* W' \. v& c
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% ?# E( _% K7 t" X& F, f# p4 x5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, s- d) v# F! Q+ {) } b" Ccussed out, and possibly shot.* M- e! E# ?- D4 B$ \) m5 @2 d
- g7 P/ D3 L! o3 A q' v6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
, B, ~; R; f2 ]5 D! w- ^5 Pget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that- Z8 ^9 V' \8 {% { j* _0 y( |
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at" j* o6 p8 b0 m& m& h3 i3 O
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
4 y0 t$ |2 ^2 V9 n1 {0 U5 Myou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
/ y5 T) F, B* V7 Tvehicle through the intersection.
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+ a3 w" ~3 f9 N) c( y$ _! m8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
+ Z* n( _" B' x8 n) t- u6 [$ bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. R0 u! R1 X, n( o9 lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* e0 q# _+ n5 A
more construction starts everyday.* v0 Z7 Z, ~/ b! k, |8 p
, m6 d3 `/ G+ ]. b9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
4 Z- z! p# L: F- T" c% `deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- Z( T& b6 f7 h! K e6 a- P9 Z* S
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same! `0 P# h7 f8 \
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
5 ?* c0 Q2 `- y. U6 x% a" SRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
+ [2 X4 q: E3 w) U. K0 ]2 f66 Street are also the same road; got it?" d* D$ `; [; a( n$ I0 _
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ e; G) [0 d; F. q. `7 Zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
j! J8 W0 Z1 E6 ?# Z# sActivated.'
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8 B e# V* J+ x( R12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
* o( O9 e( H2 Q8 t( v0 `5 Tyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' k k2 f5 R v% r3 @# {
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; {* r9 B" s2 y- \0 M: P( Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( X/ B/ r. r' m/ yblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
