 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
( w' b. U! @& C/ I; q请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写6 A$ r. q8 d1 t9 k( E
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
, ]7 R' P. r5 [& ~6 Q4 r5 c5 w1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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6 p6 o$ `1 A% c1 K, N# n- _1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it2 X, a" `) G) L
down.6 N" |! H, I+ k; Q* @/ e/ z9 `
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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0 t' P# r* y1 G, B+ dleaving it down.
6 b8 u1 G. S8 J k: b1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？- C4 A1 z: ^! @- p1 Q B: U3 o
+ t8 `+ C* k/ q. f, F1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.5 T$ V/ `; _) h$ s, x6 I
Let it be.
/ A" I9 n7 f5 O$ H- P1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去7 K9 ]* B, u, t3 z6 z0 u0 `
$ R2 u6 i% A8 t( k6 U1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
8 a7 i7 x# S6 C$ W9 athat way.
. F, Z3 j6 { I% Z2 ]' |- o1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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8 b) `9 G2 K2 J, |# ^$ K1 q* ?1. Crying is blackmail.& }$ v; s( p" t) B; d0 R2 I
1，哭泣是敲诈7 k# h# H2 M7 K
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1. Ask for what you want.
- c7 a# @4 Y3 R: f) M7 C# E" SLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
/ _/ s4 [/ d4 W) XStrong hints do not work!
! t( C0 V1 K( mObvious hints do not work!1 X. h% j" R1 c
Just say it!$ A1 U6 {+ k8 d) t6 ]1 y
1，你想要什么就说
' a9 ?2 H3 ?4 W* j我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ; b0 C r$ z- S$ u
question.6 v) g. r1 p) M) o2 w0 R2 q9 U- [
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's! n! ~: c, u- H7 B V) A$ [
what we do." r6 F P* i# s# O
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. x& N- |0 l1 }; k) N
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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* j4 u) y, _* L4 c5 h1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.) A; D; U$ i; O
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去6 [- \0 L2 i+ z! }5 F- d
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
8 g! `6 O6 }4 W5 s. X+ fIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
) F: x5 E. L2 g! \# D$ J9 i我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us) m# j/ T% \$ G$ M- S
to act like soap opera guys.
% s& i% c# e8 D# _, C$ E3 r1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们' t7 l' Z/ P; L) c& F" e
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.% l1 j7 x) k, L% L; M
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们% }2 p2 s. J$ `1 V s
/ A' O: b9 v9 J1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways) B v. c9 E- V
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.9 H% d- Z/ N- \+ U+ y9 n6 l' r% `
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
) X, Q! D7 f+ l) B$ R5 C1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it# Z9 x+ b. ?6 u4 v; U/ S
done. Not both.: t ]& Y9 ]% P( U, B
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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5 c9 r6 A+ t3 P O- U+ K1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during7 p, u5 Z& \6 V8 z0 O
commercials.
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9 w0 ?1 ]2 L/ Y1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.' b! D! [2 w l
/ T0 a9 H1 i4 n' Y$ U( L- v1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.% U/ E$ J: b. Q4 p8 w0 E Q' n+ X
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
4 U$ @5 n8 o' t. eWe have no idea what mauve is.+ V9 C% i5 x1 B% y: a
5 G* \8 C0 q9 V: n1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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- D5 f. Y6 j" u; K2 c1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
! M' w7 o. r/ x$ V E, ^% unothing's wrong.6 T5 }& w' \1 _. C; v9 l% n* A
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer1 e6 ~6 J# g" ], M- M3 ~) A4 I
you don't want to hear.) R5 a* ` R \5 j6 ^- x- [# R$ h
7 x6 F1 R5 r" G4 m0 j7 `- ^1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
9 ~5 ?9 {1 B5 G, p& bfine...Really.
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' a. N7 K/ z6 a1 _' F2 ]1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
3 o, X' ^9 l9 L+ M5 Bdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.# S* C2 S! D' g7 w2 |" A% n% H
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1. You have too many shoes.+ ]4 X8 x* m, ^. E6 Z: b
1 g( e/ D$ L9 K1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.# q# O3 c2 i4 @8 N# N4 E
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
% ]' w) y( _: Q5 BBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
, P/ w1 O4 x+ D" u+ y( {0 [. _$ ~Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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