 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
* k' s, b( @. V# f( u; c) W请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写) c/ A1 T0 F* V( [* t
4 L9 [$ Y: d6 U) v+ k( T1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.5 k$ h; W3 r# s& C2 |" k4 d
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫: A& Y- `, P7 {$ Y1 ^ ?
; H8 R* r \+ F% z7 I* }1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
; u6 Y2 q. `0 z' Kdown., s) d( a8 m& {4 \, J
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
5 C# D, Z) Z- h2 y. m* `7 W2 Myou/ g" x9 n+ W: m& ^* z' N
leaving it down.
f; x+ R, f9 _$ k$ N1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
1 n1 N% o$ C: d7 H+ [
$ y# ]7 w7 A$ \' k4 c, Y- o; l1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
% @5 t4 C& A$ fLet it be.- M& n/ p- \6 F
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去3 m. s+ v4 f6 ?
! R+ d' v8 a2 n6 b; W1 i; M1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it1 D0 E% z$ G9 |4 J' D( J
that way.5 x; F( g9 U# q4 ]% `& ^
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
9 T8 L6 Q( U' ^* ?. U
- D' I6 h% o5 S5 w/ ?! V. L. F8 C1. Crying is blackmail.
6 T0 v8 C R- S% \; E1,哭泣是敲诈
; r d) A+ X, G$ X( W& u0 g0 E) f' J* \# ]" P$ A- i: @
1. Ask for what you want.7 e. n" c" @; E
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
1 F$ Y3 K1 i- `! Q: U/ V6 oStrong hints do not work!
% ~) o% A7 q* i/ z* HObvious hints do not work!
: E% f3 Y g9 b* F. t% M1 }Just say it!) _" V! C# O+ _3 c
1,你想要什么就说9 `$ _+ e- u" g; S8 w+ Y+ G- b, C. Y
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
' B8 _# t8 x5 E7 Z8 Y: J" G* v
7 O# v8 z2 C" L( O) W4 S2 A5 _- G5 j1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
# Q0 |0 t7 d' o2 _question.
/ P6 [) J/ N1 g1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
. q& O% ^1 o, |
# p% v, I* B* M7 d) A( w6 x. V1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
; e# \/ w8 q' W- b! I `) swhat we do.
: Y6 E; [- S" Q2 R6 k: ^+ ESympathy is what your girlfriends are for.# ^8 N" `. V1 V, D) Y0 V. ~
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。4 x: P! ]" F K3 Q8 _1 v0 X; A+ F4 w
* h5 A0 r8 M: T9 M1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.+ r* a! J" o, E8 O2 x4 Q
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
: n. K% ~8 |/ n) v" m! P& b% R( H7 P. Q+ w L* x
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.# B6 s% C; Z8 d
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.0 k; F, z8 v1 Q* T) s' T& g
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
; {. I0 @3 ~. H7 q5 j+ a/ W+ V; E! p1 p5 J( y' P8 n# p/ b
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us+ R& D9 v. ^+ g t+ a: f8 R
to act like soap opera guys.
( F+ V. ?8 i( l5 q1 p1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们/ P k n0 T+ U8 s7 T
f4 g* O" c* D% [; B
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.+ f$ U7 E/ X4 I4 I+ ]" C2 r
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
' i) [) d4 ]8 ?3 d
( [& Z! W! z n+ L* j1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways& b* j0 A: O* d8 l5 L! f* A4 f
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.3 e4 N* y+ j/ V* k" \3 P! H& O! m
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。# _5 c$ s- z/ s1 M/ T
3 V: X% H/ w4 M2 l! @, j' w* K* r, t(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)+ M" `' Z1 Q8 R" a
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
% K+ n- M' Y5 Q: }done. Not both.+ e! T1 X! _+ K
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.5 |2 K' E6 l% V
2 r# f2 Z" E. r( v# ?! G2 W1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
2 D& g/ _* }! Q9 _3 icommercials.3 I6 _ {$ l8 M8 B
# l6 k0 }8 d f/ s- f- E1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
( @( ` [; Q% u6 K/ y2 t2 I, O$ w, W; r2 v
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
$ Q2 S6 ?0 @) |! s/ b( o" A" N! sPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit./ Y" [7 O0 T. M- k% {* [' v, ~
We have no idea what mauve is.
0 `, c8 U8 M! L8 q8 O, f7 w. P% e1 c6 g2 o: D) k
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.) k5 H. Q4 c4 L
/ E+ _& Q& k8 p# A% I1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
: G! a. [) ^ D5 H- I( rnothing's wrong.% Y7 _+ V# y8 q, k+ D7 A
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
9 r; W R) C; A1 U4 u4 g$ x9 Q1 ?! r$ k2 l v
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
# n9 X( v4 U5 ~' l9 q3 Kyou don't want to hear.( K* m; I- ?+ g9 e# c
# V0 c* S6 ~/ d( R) |1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is3 H1 _' ^1 _7 ~$ {
fine...Really.
! U9 K+ V; i3 `! S
' @( @, ?5 Y8 |1 a1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to) b1 @: t- o8 V& l
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.+ V4 |0 T/ q. g. I# I$ ]6 ^4 v% k
4 |& h3 |3 s7 b: h: i- J( A6 Q
1. You have enough clothes.
- @! Q% v) ~( y- [3 {# I$ L8 z4 k( g, j/ q0 j: D
1. You have too many shoes.6 n( Y+ I$ b+ Z% g
" R3 E r& G; }/ e/ n! W
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
' q0 ?5 h t! s) {) Z+ q
: h. c, \8 D c! U, G2 z1. Thank you for reading this. {2 M- ]( N* S4 |
* O+ ]; | ~+ M% \8 {2 O
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;0 X, M2 D! [2 I' n8 s. k4 Y
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
0 |# I4 C. L, ~: I/ [: w) }# c7 s8 L! @* |! t
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
; s& a3 f! w5 c8 ^8 UPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|