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This is my job in IELTS studying

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发表于 2004-10-20 12:36 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Can adults be successful learners? : {: |' v+ p) b5 @7 ?" Y4 i* I
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When we are adults, we often wonder why not able to take up new interests efficiently and easily in the same way as when we were young. Some say that there are many different reasons for this problem. However, are there too many social pressures on adults or are there other reasons for the apparent decline in a human being’s capacity to learn? I think the greatest reason is social pressures.3 i& x/ c0 c  U" \
As an adult, we have to face many problems in family life, and deal with all kinds of questions at work. We spend a lot of time and energy earning the money to meet the cost of home and family every day. An adult has a far greater capacity for work than children and this may often include learning new skills within their chosen discipline. So we can not say an adult learning capacity has declined, it is true. Children can learn new subjects easily, this is because they have strong sense of curiosity, more spare time and energy to utilise, and do not have to deal with the problems adults do.
" a  ~* N5 [! _. h: F" RWe have to realize that there are too many social pressures in our lives today. The development of science and technology is accelerating the improvement in the quality of life. People try to keep pace with these rapid changes by working harder than before. They do have not enough spare time to cater for their all interests, such as participating in being spectators or learning sports, new things. They must put first things first. If someone does not manage his time and activities well, it will become a very, very large problem and he will be exhausted burnt out and fatigued.) L6 r! I- P0 z  l
However, are there no chances to adults learn new things? I do not think so. I feel the real challenge is not actually to manage time but to manage oneself, to gain control of time and the activities in one’s life by seeing how they relate to one’s aim. If an adult keeps something what he want to do as urgent and important, and have to proactive, and try to do it, he will succeed in sharing it.) F  J8 E8 {4 ?" _) \  i
请高手帮我找出写的不好的句子,有的句子我自己觉得别扭可让老师帮着改后还是觉得有不顺的地方.( q; ?3 d  z# e# [
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[ Last edited by mercurybird on 2004-10-21 at 11:06 AM ]
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发表于 2004-10-23 05:13 | 显示全部楼层
When we are adults, we often wonder why we are not able to take up acquire new interests efficiently and easily in the same way as when we were young. Some say that there are many different reasons for this problem. However, are there too many social pressures on adults or are there other reasons for the apparent decline in a human being’s our capacity to learn? I think the greatest most important reason is social pressures.  u4 p4 ~' k) P0 t9 s: f3 R
As an adult, we have to face many problems in family life, and deal with all kinds of questions at work. We spend a lot of time and energy earning the (把the去掉)money to meet the cost of expenses for home and family every day. An adult has a far greater capacity for work than children and this may often include learning new skills within their chosen discipline. So we can not say an adult's learning capacity has declined, it is true. Children can learn new subjects easily, this is because they have a strong sense of curiosity, more spare time and energy to utilise, and  they  do not have to deal with the same problems as adults do.
' |2 i* L4 y1 X/ }We have to realize that there are too many social pressures in our lives today. The development of science and technology is accelerating the improvement in the quality of life. People try to keep pace with these rapid changes by working harder than before. They do have not (将not放到do的后面,但是楼主你是不是想用do表示出一种确实、强调的意思,那样也可以用they hardly have enough spare time)enough spare time to cater for pursue their all all theirinterests, such as participating in being spectators attending games or learning sportsand new things. They must put first things first. If someone does not manage his time and activities well, it will become a very, very large problem and he will eventually be exhausted burnt out and fatigued.1 Q8 T9 \3 u6 a0 m  \
However, are there no chances to for  adults learn new things? I do not think so. I feel the real challenge is not actually to manage time but to manage oneself, to gain control of time and the activities in one’s life by seeing how they relate to one’s aim. If an adult keeps considers  something what(将what去掉) he wants  to do as urgent and important, and haveto proactivehas a proactive attitude  , and try to do ittries his best, he will succeed in sharing it reaching his goal.
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1 k  t* I. q7 M! d( d  h. l  O# r[ Last edited by connie on 2004-10-23 at 06:20 AM ]
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发表于 2004-10-23 08:56 | 显示全部楼层

Good job,Connie!

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发表于 2004-10-23 16:49 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Thank you!
鲜花(163) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2004-10-23 17:01 | 显示全部楼层
咱就说人家康妮对待网友的这个态度,就够让人感动的了!要是ESL的老师们能拿出康妮的三分之一的热情来,谁还敢说ESL没有用
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发表于 2004-10-24 11:44 | 显示全部楼层
connie) X+ {7 h/ b" M
真是高手
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发表于 2004-10-24 21:09 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
不过楼主好像还没来
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 楼主| 发表于 2004-10-24 22:49 | 显示全部楼层
抱歉,来晚了.
$ u, W3 `& w  s) yCONNIE,thank you very much. I got so much.
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发表于 2004-10-24 23:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
connie,what's your name? 康妮?
老柳教车
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发表于 2004-10-25 03:02 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
对,老杨,这个就是我的名字,而不仅仅是网名哦
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 楼主| 发表于 2004-10-25 09:05 | 显示全部楼层
your Chinese name?
2 A! ]5 d5 V1 w* p0 Z7 zsounds nice!
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发表于 2004-10-25 18:00 | 显示全部楼层
不是不是,这不是我的中文名字,只是我的英文名字而已,我之所以那么说只是想表明那不是网名。" t( _& l* Q3 V" @! Y9 _/ Y) X
*******附:中文名  颜晓燕  家里人常叫我燕子,这个名字是不是很小气啊,哈哈
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发表于 2004-10-26 11:44 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
好名字呀! 一定名如其人!
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Originally posted by connie at 2004-10-25 07:00 PM:
% B/ K8 D+ W1 K; k0 l/ t. Q不是不是,这不是我的中文名字,只是我的英文名字而已,我之所以那么说只是想表明那不是网名。, _- a* o$ @' i! Z6 w- B
*******附:中文名  颜晓燕  家里人常叫我燕子,这个名字是不是很小气啊,哈哈
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 楼主| 发表于 2004-10-30 13:46 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同样是好名字!写入句中:! u+ R+ q2 P$ j1 e( @0 i) G
颜如玉自书中唤,晓风残月掩卷眠,燕鸣柳翠拂春梦,妙音绕梁入前山.
4 {, K. H# U; l0 |/ K以上如何译成英文?
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发表于 2004-10-30 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
好诗呀,还真不知道怎么翻译呢。
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发表于 2004-10-31 10:02 | 显示全部楼层
给几点建议,俺水平也巨烂,也正在学习,所以仅供参考。9 G9 D) i  g; @& \
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1 您的作文中文风格太重;. I- Y, H/ F% x( M6 {" n( P0 y$ _
   英语作文讲究一、二、三的罗列,每段第一句为topic sentence,最后一句为. N5 H! V% `# F
   conclusion sentence,中间的部分则是详细说明论点及举例。
; u$ F: S* }6 {9 Z7 d, I2 您的两段论点太相似,概括地不是很好;一般3段比较合适;6 Q0 }, k7 C) s2 a
3 问句过多,结尾段过于抒发情感,老外没那么诗意,一般最好先直接说明你的
8 v) ~- i, g, n  观点。
3 ~& y7 T* M1 V$ E! x: u& N( o4 很多句子太长,语法有问题。& M+ B0 g; o. `3 [" v
5 建议再学习一下标点的使用,网上搜索即可。
1 D2 ~6 f" O4 X5 j( y2 Q6 写作中尽量不要使用口语化的句子,例如“it will become a very, very large ”+ K* T0 Z9 }$ T5 U# D, t
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个人认为,您现在已经把重点首先放在文章结构上,学习如何提炼你的论点。
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发表于 2004-10-31 17:52 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
严重同意!!!首先掌握英文写作的整体构思,很重要!!!
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发表于 2004-11-2 08:52 | 显示全部楼层

我的看法

我现在也是出于学习的进程中,也有许多不懂的地方,但对于康妮改的几个地方,我想提出我的见解,不知道对不对,大家多多讨论:
8 f8 P1 L$ `: ^& W7 M% R3 Z! Z/ F- [1。acquire new interests。 据我所知,acquire只是用于习得knowledge 以及贤田习得某一种能力。还想还不能说习得或养成兴趣。不知对否?3 f" ~' c) S  K4 i
2。earn money to meet the expense for.... 我想这句话应该改为:earn money to afford the living of family. 因为afford在这里是指负担家里的费用。我们也可以说买得起一辆车为: afford a new car' H# n! S# O8 U% Z1 v/ [
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多年学习英语,最头痛的就是选择合适的词来表达。英语中有很多次的意思很是想象,但在不同的是他们的微妙区别,而正是这些微妙区别使得有些词能够用于这处,而另外相近的词就不能用。希望有机会多探讨。
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发表于 2004-11-2 09:26 | 显示全部楼层
好!
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发表于 2004-11-2 10:12 | 显示全部楼层

My suggestion to the first paragraph.

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
When we are adults, we often wonder why we are not able to take up acquire
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Nowadays, people always wonder why adults cannot develop a new interest in the same easy and efficient way as when they are young.
( n6 K: _6 g3 M- f( i( z$ J0 a7 P5 K6 C; @2 p' N: I0 e
new interests efficiently and easily in the same way as when we were young. Some say that there are many different reasons for this problem. However, are
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  x/ [  {/ d7 jDifferent people have different answers to this question. Some of them say there are too much social pressures on adults, while others argue that the adult’s capacity of learning is apparently declined.
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3 K) Y- f" r+ U! F$ h: u+ j1 Vthere too many social pressures on adults or are there other reasons for the apparent decline in a human being’s our capacity to learn? I think the greatest most important reason is social pressures.
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8 [% A' w% K! P* wHowever, I believe the most important reason is social pressure.
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发表于 2004-11-2 10:16 | 显示全部楼层
I don't have enough time to go through the remain in detail, but I do have some suggestions here:
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; K( M1 a% i* @* x; y  G1. Make sure you know what you want to say. Translate your article to chinese and see if the structure of the article makes sense. In the worst case, write a really good chinese article fisrt, then try your best to translate it to English. This will help the integrity of the article. 3 t1 C6 {" z  m% e3 N; d# O

4 X/ P# U) }$ `# s) f2. Do more readings. News, articles, anythign in English.
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Just my 2 cents.
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发表于 2004-11-2 17:06 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
顶!!!!
老柳教车
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 楼主| 发表于 2004-11-3 07:13 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
感谢各位的帮助,向大家学习,努力学好english!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2004-11-5 21:18 | 显示全部楼层
其实第一句就有问题,应该说:As adults
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