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我的作文出炉了!

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鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2004-11-14 21:31 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
正在修改,这是其中一部分:
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China* i, S( S. t" x- J% K. c) m( u# a# i

! O) y% {$ v. I- eChina is the third largest country in the world and the second largest energy consumer (after the United States). It is the world's most populous country, there are 1.3 billion people in the whole country. . F5 _  B5 S/ Z! x

( w/ E% _: q- @. ?' X# [+ zChina covers about 9,600,000 square kilometers. China is bordered by Russia, India, Afghanistan, Bhutan, Myanmar, Kazakhstan, North Korea, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Mongolia, Nepal, Pakistan, Tajikistan, and Vietnam. ! v0 F3 W5 D) O
China's flag is red with five golden-yellow stars. ) c; S7 j. ^+ f5 F

/ S- Y1 r2 l6 ~+ `/ z# p5 t) q4 hChina's climate ranges from desert to tropical to subarctic. The major rivers in China are the Yangtse River, the Yellow River, and the Pearl River. The Himalayas is the highest mountain range in the world.
大型搬家
鲜花(163) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2004-11-14 21:38 | 显示全部楼层
对不起,这个贴回得晚了些- R" P) M7 _, N! @% V

* S2 L2 Y5 g- {  {& P8 P0 C如果让我写中国,我就专门写一写中国的民族问题
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) W( k$ n: R3 T% M' Y; R从中国历史上的各民族的统一和和睦相处,到现今的民族自治区域政策: z' t3 t/ x* i- I

! P  w" Y: I- d: V0 S7 S: r* X从西藏古老的农奴制度,到西藏和平解放后经济、交通、人民生活等方面的发展,和人权方面的逐步改善8 D; N9 p. Y0 u0 z+ l3 d2 n. l( l
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西方对中国的民族问题说三道四不止一天两天了,我觉得我们有责任让他们了解中国,消除误解
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-14 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
Hope to see, great wall, "bing ma yong".........beijing2008
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
 楼主| 发表于 2004-11-14 21:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
兄弟,我等你写等得太久了,没办法,明天要交了!
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* A% D) [! @5 q' w- N国外这些鬼子对中国确实了解得太少了!前几天我们上英语的时候差点跟他们吵了起来,我们几个中国学生一致对外,鬼子怕了。我们只恨自己英语表达能力太差。
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
 楼主| 发表于 2004-11-14 21:46 | 显示全部楼层
又加了一些:
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! Z) y4 O3 ^- P* q! o* oChina; r- F$ \2 d: S
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China is the third largest country in the world and the second largest energy consumer (after the United States). It is the world's most populous country, there are 1.3 billion people in the whole country.
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+ C) U7 k3 A- LChina covers about 9,600,000 square kilometers. China is bordered by Russia, India, Afghanistan, Bhutan, Myanmar, Kazakhstan, North Korea, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Mongolia, Nepal, Pakistan, Tajikistan, and Vietnam.
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China's flag is red with five golden-yellow stars. ! n5 ]; a! }+ m6 x
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China's climate ranges from desert to tropical to subarctic. The major rivers in China are the Yangtse River, the Yellow River, and the Pearl River. The Himalayas is the highest mountain range in the world.
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: T0 A/ @& u& `  mChina is made up of 34 provinces. The capital of China is Beijing and Chinese government is there. Each province also has a capital city. The provincial governments are in the capital cities.; X. n. `7 N. H0 |, }& |

& L6 }* f& o" I5 C! j3 jChinese New Year is a very important holiday in China. It is celebrated in late January to early February (depending on the year). Chinese New Year starts on a New Moon and ends with the lantern festival on the full moon 15 days later. In 2004, Chinese New Year is celebrated on January 22; the year 2004 is the Year of the Monkey. In the Chinese calendar, it is the year 4701. " b4 O0 r' P0 v4 b2 y: F+ @
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With China's entry into the World Trade Organization (WTO) in November 2001, the Chinese government made a number of specific commitments to trade and investment for open the Chinese economy to foreign firms.  % v$ `- p; `! Y# j; _( O7 S
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China's real gross domestic product (GDP) grew at a rate of 9.1% in 2003, up from 8.0% in 2002.  Real GDP for the first quarter of 2004 was up 9.8% year-on-year -- a pace many observers see as unsustainable. Real GDP growth is forecast to drop to 8.1% for 2004 as a whole.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-15 18:42 | 显示全部楼层
来不及细读,偶今天考试,最后一门,哈哈哈哈~~~~以后就轻松了!!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-15 18:49 | 显示全部楼层

try

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
China is the third largest country in the world and the second largest energy consumer (after the United States). It is the world's most populous country, there are 1.3 billion people in the whole country.
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7 ^% b- I# w- `# S- D3 aChina covers about 9,600,000 square kilometers. China is bordered by Russia, India, Afghanistan, Bhutan, Myanmar, Kazakhstan, North Korea, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Mongolia, Nepal, Pakistan, Tajikistan, and Vietnam.
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China's national flag is red with five golden-yellow golden yellow stars. & M( D9 f( \" _& ?- N( Q8 q  K
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China's climate ranges from desert to tropical to subarctic varies from bitter cold in winter to unbearable heat in summer. The major rivers in China are the Yangtse River, the Yellow River, and the Pearl River. The Himalayas is the highest mountain range in the world.
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3 e- J( B" I+ [, u, a4 w) yChina is made up of consists of 34 provinces. The capital of China is Beijing and Chinese the central government is there. Each province also has a capital city. The provincial governments are in the capital cities.( u# d9 [: E) R$ D. Q
& d0 r( Z+ @9 T1 @3 u$ ^
Chinese New Year is a very important holiday in China. It is celebrated in late January to or early February (depending on the year). Chinese New Year starts on a New Moon and ends with the lantern festival on the full moon 15 days later. In 2004, Chinese New Year is celebrated on January 22; the year 2004 is the Year of the Monkey. In the Chinese calendar, it is the year 4701.  :o really?
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With China's entry into the World Trade Organization (WTO) in November 2001, the Chinese government made a number of specific commitments to attract foreign trade and investment for open the Chinese economy to foreign firms.   China opens its door to the world.' o1 q$ a' o3 e( ~0 \1 `
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China's real gross domestic product (GDP) grew at a rate of 9.1% in 2003, up from 8.0% in 2002.  Real GDP for the first quarter of 2004 was up 9.8% year-on-year -- a pace many observers see as unsustainable. Real GDP growth is forecast forecasted to drop to 8.1% for 2004 as a whole.
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(9) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-15 23:24 | 显示全部楼层
感情您这作文每句都是以China开头啊!
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
 楼主| 发表于 2004-11-15 23:33 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 将腐败进行到底 at 2004-11-15 11:24 PM:, M7 F) F6 l( W! p' [5 l
感情您这作文每句都是以China开头啊!
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学学人家水上村,来点真格的。
鲜花(9) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-15 23:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 老杨 at 2004-11-16 02:33 AM:
  X9 D; y5 `* P( A+ n2 z学学人家水上村,来点真格的。
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不行啊,大哥,我这水平还不够给人家改作文的。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-16 16:53 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 将腐败进行到底 at 2004-11-16 02:37 AM:
- U. L0 W) q* V不行啊,大哥,我这水平还不够给人家改作文的。
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我是自己懒得写  :lol::lol::lol:
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-16 22:38 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 将腐败进行到底 at 2004-11-16 12:24 AM:
0 }* W. ?5 W8 x  D- @+ {感情您这作文每句都是以China开头啊!
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) E) L. u3 x, k. G) w( C这是老杨作文结构上颇大的一个问题,就自己想着意思很连贯,表达出来的时候都成了独立的单句。:)
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-16 23:45 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
老杨学复合句了吗?定语从句,宾语从句,状语从句......下此试着用用
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
 楼主| 发表于 2004-11-17 00:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 水上村 at 2004-11-16 11:45 PM:
% c- |  ?" b) T% o$ M2 ~老杨学复合句了吗?定语从句,宾语从句,状语从句......下此试着用用
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二十年前学过,现在早忘了。
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-17 18:21 | 显示全部楼层
我的经验(不知对你有用否):最开始,和鬼子交往的时候,他们对中国的看法,让自己混身不舒服,怎么解释也是作用不大(主要原因茶壶煮饺子,有水倒不出来);后来我就把自己想到的提前写下来,一痛背;再把别人写的,一痛背,效果好多了,虽然做不到出口成章,但是一边想一边讲,还讲得大差不差的。& D% ~& l' ?: {/ Q$ k. S5 X

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Originally posted by 老杨 at 2004-11-15 12:43:
, l; @7 b  h  a兄弟,我等你写等得太久了,没办法,明天要交了!/ C0 `6 }7 ]  t+ a8 {
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国外这些鬼子对中国确实了解得太少了!前几天我们上英语的时候差点跟他们吵了起来,我们几个中国学生一致对外,鬼子怕了。我们只恨自己英语表达能力太差。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-20 15:11 | 显示全部楼层
up
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-11-21 19:34 | 显示全部楼层

This is my suggestion

同言同羽 置业良晨
Covering 3,600,000 square kilometers of the globe and with 1.3 billion people, China is the third largest, but unfortunately most populous country in the world.  It is also the second largest energy consumer after the United States on Earth.
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Countries neighboring china include Russia, India, Afghanistan, Bhutan, Myanmar, Kazakhstan, North Korea, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Mongolia, Nepal, Pakistan, Tajikistan, and Vietnam. $ d3 |0 d5 Q$ k4 r" a: d' [

+ [/ ^# W7 T  a7 p3 mChina is made up of 34 provinces, each with their own capital and centrally controlled by the government in the capital of China, Beijing. (you have to get rid of the explanation of capital, because “CAPITAL” means the city with the central government!)
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The national flag is red with five golden yellow stars. (You put this here for? It doesn’t fit in other paragraphs.)
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The climate of China varies from bitter cold in winter to unbearable heat in summer due to the wide range of geographical differences from deserts to mountains; from tropical to sub-arctic. It has three major rivers--the Yangtse River, the Yellow River, and the Pearl River and the world highest mountain range—the Himalayas.( f. [& T4 B/ f5 c+ z2 x& C! \( `
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The most important holiday is Chinese New Year, called the Spring Festival, a family holiday celebrated on New Year’s Day of the lunar calendar. It starts on a new moon and ends with the Lantern Festival on the full moon 15 days later. In 2004, Chinese New Year fell on January 22nd of the solar calendar, which leads to the Year of Monkey.  + `0 M$ V+ B/ [& o* z
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Since China re-opened its doors to the world in 1970s and economic reforms in 1980s, China has experienced rapid economic and policy progress. With China's entry into the World Trade Organization in November 2001, the Chinese economy became more open to foreign trade and investment.  In 2003, China's real gross domestic product (GDP) grew at a rate of 9.1%, more than 8.0% in 2002.  Real GDP for the first quarter of 2004 was up to 9.8% year-on-year -- an unsustainable pace according to many observers, although real GDP growth is forecasted to drop to 8.1% for 2004 as a whole.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-12-5 23:21 | 显示全部楼层

there is no need to list all the neighboring countries

鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-12-5 23:31 | 显示全部楼层

整个文章的线索不清楚

the fourth paragraphs 不要,9 d: [/ _2 {" a  g4 @
the fiveth 成为the second ,从地理的角度出发,可以强调一下长江river is the third longest river of the world.
  L+ D' a! M- R- w3 ^- Uthe last paragraph 讲经济太多啦,just list the rateS not mention the total amout OF THE ECOMONIC 不科学
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2004-12-7 22:19 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by OliveOil at 2004-11-21 19:34:% L2 w/ _+ d+ |7 b
Covering 3,600,000 square kilometers of the globe and with 1.3 billion people, China is the third largest, but unfortunately most populous country in the world.  It is also the second largest energ ...
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第一句就错了,国土面积被斑竹缩水了
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