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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA0 M& i* R1 S7 g/ G3 ?- S% b
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
" `% T' h7 z4 m( w* O- ^2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 5 s( A9 h; M' ~( e2 C
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 4 g; N9 y K( z9 c% c
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 2 U1 m3 v5 d R
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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S- N" e, k! Q$ Q. f1. Big rock between you and B.C. 0 |8 q" A8 V" @$ j# B" c
2. Ottawa who?' F- S4 d2 j, r ^! Z
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
4 _) v1 U8 ^: M+ f: g) x4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
7 c1 [1 b! p$ H$ _1 J5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
: U/ G. ~: Q- g6 @ J6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ?6 z9 }. v' J' W$ D
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. ( B# H7 @5 j0 f+ ^
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
4 E% T, Z2 R) S" }; M3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 9 H2 a* G7 b- e. I2 h, m7 j( R
4. People will assume you live on a farm. 1 \$ C' S G# g4 V) ]# k0 T' D
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
5 x) H( ]' V4 U, v2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
% E' m& E% |" E* I" I, {3 W3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
6 ^. t5 z2 Z* c4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
8 ?3 `% w6 l4 G. H# n5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. " o- V; e, q7 b6 V$ o
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% v0 \$ [% ~5 b: k6 r+ f6 @2 |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO - r* l- r! ` K# I$ w" x
n1 z! C5 T4 Y0 [1. You live in the centre of the universe.
. c7 R7 L- w) [0 E+ }2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
$ a& F, z$ Y) i; m3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. ( T6 _5 {. }8 o: P/ T. ^. _$ U8 i# H
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
& v! D) E o, T2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
8 d) K/ M& R! s# I, t. O3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. / w2 _) f& D% ]) z5 N
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo ** ]5 V, E- D3 R
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 4 H8 U0 y2 {2 ^ F7 O! G2 T6 t5 |
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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# [* J" M# \) h8 [1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ( t6 n+ n: ^8 `: O( m; U R
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
, d; S6 S! t* d4 d/ k* W) V3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
. W* I) r4 M2 n; a- j# \1 S. ~4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. . \/ Q( ^7 [& B5 m; j
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& }, z7 [% z- ?9 FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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$ x8 |, O1 ~# ]4 `7 ^8 Q# I# ], L1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. / Y% ]7 e! Z8 a. @2 i. B ?
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
5 x) @6 z; S2 c6 _3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. U& h3 ]; R% W& X* r
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. . J( [1 Q% i; i$ N. N
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. - J/ ~* H! w( ? I7 i
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
' X. Z6 i. V& W3 h0 i0 D4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
4 z- N$ b7 e6 `' W: R" i- @4 G5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. ( F Z. o8 T- P* s+ t7 d, H
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ; V( F* X2 [; @' q" d/ Y. V- e
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 9 }6 U, ]; A9 K9 Y7 h4 g+ J& ~
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
B5 `: v6 F5 \# u. c0 Y( I2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. & O" C: v7 _' X6 D+ f% s/ O
3. The workday is about two hours long. . d' Q/ u! @3 l5 q+ t) `# n
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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