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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA: P( f9 h3 r! f4 D) H0 O2 X# K/ A
1 }3 j8 Q+ L" s$ s( o+ A9 E1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
$ ~( l7 s' x- h2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
o# M+ z3 N9 x/ \6 U! j3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 2 C8 i j. } L
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
' s: y; k( w3 B0 }, `: a5. Weed
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( [& P0 x+ Z0 E' M" P' pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 3 a" N* |& H* P# n: ~* @' L( _6 q" }
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. + v; z0 X' ?6 S' f6 t
2. Ottawa who?
, @' W U3 C9 b8 B% F/ O3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. - v1 }4 a* C4 k" ?
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
* k3 s5 f2 M8 w9 M6 s5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
, C I- H Y+ B, b6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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. @% a( o! p, T' y o: N& G2 ZTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN - o1 u( a1 y' J0 J4 G) Z/ A
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1. You never run out of wheat.
% s& G& y* C' C2. Your province is really easy to draw.
# s* O7 X8 q. f7 f3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
: j4 e7 J) b" k1 L4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA " j R/ y- u, X L+ M
" S; |1 U( t6 k/ p, e* I1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
) i* j1 b2 O5 X2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
7 I6 ?4 r% ~5 ?7 {' U" g5 m H3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ( j8 f. s! ]/ j- ~, h; D! \
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. + v. k. S& |" U
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO + ]# _" p: b+ U8 l
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
6 @, Y( f; I2 ^7 s2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. , \4 T0 P" i4 Z. K7 p! Y5 ^8 L" [
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
3 s" E0 f+ W0 x8 j4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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+ @% r4 |# ^9 b, A8 f8 C+ oTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC ( d/ u; O" W Q% [
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
9 y# }4 c1 p _; g0 H& @4 q J2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. * ^! @9 p4 a6 E( w% Z+ z
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
# |% ~7 A ^1 K% |3 d4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
' \8 b/ P, |: X/ M, p- h. D- gTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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M0 s8 R3 b( A) L* FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
9 Q' t4 P8 a; A; x$ q$ D) z2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
) [6 g5 `. {# a; K8 i3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 4 }: l* i) F, E* h E$ x2 Z" l
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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+ N' V3 b" A* |5 P; ]2 H0 RTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
7 Y% V3 i. Q( K( T k: d4 G2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. # s' v) D3 p0 B6 A& [
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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O0 E8 D3 q8 I" u pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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0 x5 t/ j6 a1 k- N. ~+ f; D6 z7 x1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
- h9 A7 U7 R. s2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
; s. Y( K8 T2 ]5 `3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. ( E0 c, `0 m# C
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
. X1 L9 Q) O% N1 R( z5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 7 {5 R/ @9 z- T( h7 e' k
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 9 J2 |$ K! d. A- a$ H! ]2 C
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 1 t& f3 U7 O0 O: o7 p0 R
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
- |: Q4 F& N0 K( d2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
' g1 I+ U6 x6 ^# E$ k1 i5 M' q3. The workday is about two hours long.
/ l7 }$ e, H7 Y4 m) U4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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