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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 9 E r3 K8 f- m0 [* }4 V' p
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
, B0 N% O0 M: ]- W. z3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 1 z+ [5 h' T/ l( Y. _, b4 `8 _
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ! Q1 k* N; [. d' o+ P& _
5 M" |2 }' B8 ^0 n* a) [1. Big rock between you and B.C.
! D3 j6 n$ c% R9 J9 l$ d6 U0 C6 g8 x2. Ottawa who?/ C; }, v$ N7 C# g) F! o
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
! J1 v9 U+ ~; e/ E4 j( l4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. y6 {* e: V* v: Z
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
( h6 H7 P! `$ }$ ~& e6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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; n! v4 e' h* i3 TTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. # I0 V! C1 D) f% `5 T/ M
2. Your province is really easy to draw. j1 m+ u* H y6 ^
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
. B% q) c- ~9 m% z4 J" h1 K4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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! I9 h9 g! |2 h# \% QTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 8 b2 T& C% N) \
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
9 o- A J& I0 I" D6 Z2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
, i# l2 r3 g% f d7 Z% ~ H3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4 Y2 i: Q5 r$ T4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
8 D7 w% q/ S1 x4 f7 l5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 9 f9 P% J4 L# E+ e
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
1 m( G/ b, V) J5 } b2 Z4 M/ e) p2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
7 e/ R" O4 n: q( _6 p( b* _0 J# W# _. n3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
+ c8 ~, C. b6 v3 v0 O4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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" C0 M7 f6 [) ?2 N2 j( Y5 T. yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 1 n% N! r' G* v1 j6 `2 W& L
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 5 C* j% r+ x, \1 [/ L' F1 d1 h
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
, W' T& l5 f+ t0 C0 f$ e3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 7 \5 `% E7 o' v2 c0 D7 }
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
% W/ U+ [$ `! r& m9 S! }TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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. b2 w: J% t! o+ L1 I1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
+ _$ _5 n8 F1 H1 T' t. H' i9 K* j2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
( T7 j0 O8 H7 F5 |! w3 a3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
. K0 O5 l1 g0 y4 A3 i2 a4 }- O. R4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ; }" v" T" {+ |+ ]# O
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. : \& d) t8 U& p5 E9 `
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. & o \& b' b) u6 G/ {
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. 1 ]1 c3 d% y B& X0 S
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 2 R" m' C! p" {7 N1 \. y: w
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. c% X k, s/ P& Z4 g& ^ N$ z
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. * q* ?, h0 n+ q+ Y$ s4 X
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. / m5 r+ m8 _# A: v9 ^
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
; l! Q, }9 u( m: r# m5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. b9 T0 ]6 P% ? c7 m1 g1 q
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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# ]' r. x! ^% }TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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$ X; f* e. ]8 Y. v: g! ~4 W1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
8 y1 l/ S* V [; C+ V1 B2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. ( F+ `( X0 ~# v/ [) w
3. The workday is about two hours long.
# ?$ R( [* U" Q. \: v/ M4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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