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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA$ Z1 l' b( L; S
: O' \5 N! g3 c8 V' t1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
: H1 D( ?& t* M( ]) i+ ]+ Q2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
/ K8 k5 _" [: e5 [3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. * g3 p" C, |4 B: O7 H
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 7 O8 J8 A) N5 f
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA / L, G; \; G% I* N! ]3 b
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. 6 p9 K- x4 W0 H7 ~
2. Ottawa who?
z* X2 |3 F8 y) O( J3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
2 E: x0 r$ A. ~1 s$ {5 Y& y4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
2 X( }9 j$ l9 j4 D5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. $ v o% a6 y- U/ S7 H+ ~+ c7 u
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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1 T+ p8 s Q" a8 d/ g yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 6 T& x# I/ t. U% H
& A- P2 r! I' r5 x1. You never run out of wheat.
+ T* i' {, ^1 g* H; {& t' `2. Your province is really easy to draw. . `, W# Y6 p, V
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
3 J0 }3 O( q* t- c1 _4 _1 d4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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) h- y O" o) U3 @: V& bTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA , l8 n2 ^( P, L, [8 u
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2 G0 x0 A$ _8 K |6 k! R2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
, E6 S: j, I& A M; s# }9 q& ]3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ) }$ s8 z% X a- s4 k
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
8 y: t* j) j7 T' Y5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 5 _) q; b) T' R4 P, e
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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& x. k; c9 [' \, {. e# A1. You live in the centre of the universe. 1 A, T2 v7 O+ z& h
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. # t2 m/ K8 P- a& u- F
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
Z* F3 ]! u7 j0 L7 j- E. Y1 j4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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3 i0 V ~2 E9 Y& z: e& |4 c1. Racism is socially acceptable , w! S9 c- Z, j2 x2 i0 I& [; _
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
7 I1 j, K( x4 d" p0 |8 d3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
) @1 F2 e# ?" b/ t6 d4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
% Z+ X: s% X4 T( r5 ?( E5 e# Z4 _TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 6 h7 r4 L7 Q, A! O/ a p
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK M" |, {( {6 v
' G+ {( B3 I- f+ N1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. * K3 R5 A7 q9 v X, ~
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. % i( W4 g( p& }3 |. H( O! Y
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
8 `7 ~4 q6 s3 z( ]7 O4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. & Q) ?$ i( e0 ]/ }) W$ ]( u
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* b7 L- u3 P+ E. j @4 Y# L6 H* zTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 9 W9 e: m. `% I! R# g5 X+ r
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
7 N2 k9 S' \" J+ {4 S( J2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 1 ^7 p6 R9 W, i! X5 [% }! x: f
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. / Z* u( c) j# P' L0 M/ w) F. r
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND . j% D7 }7 `! ]6 d4 z; H9 D
& h* H5 C* s/ X8 a) w1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. , D9 D% r6 z5 g- \3 V7 y, p
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
5 S4 } r# E3 t& W6 S3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 3 W3 e4 p4 }' f/ l) m
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." " e& j; a4 z. G# w! g4 g, O
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
/ V0 x' J* G% J; ]) K* W3 _1 h* M6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND : H! N5 ?/ o$ J
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 9 y; H8 x6 ^* Z9 ?1 `2 g
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
( L: I C$ C- H; C. ~. \: Y3 G3. The workday is about two hours long. 5 v) S: A% Y- B2 e
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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