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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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' W& U- u$ |2 t# C0 ^1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. " p4 T9 ~- Q, N* D( V) f' W
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ) L. K. c+ h- f( {( ?9 V0 I) Y
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
: E# z/ y) m" Q. P" f4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
2 D, ]& ~+ n( F5. Weed : b% O0 A* j5 t* t$ s0 D7 n- Q, S
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ' S# A% E5 l9 g) ^
' ^; a- n; `1 \; Z5 x1. Big rock between you and B.C.
# E3 J+ M+ W2 ~( b7 {( C2. Ottawa who?
0 b: _- x. }# Q7 t; p1 a6 N0 v3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
8 K# o& h8 D, N. e A+ G4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
7 o/ X* o" ~# ^$ J# t2 n1 k5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 6 S9 D+ J3 g% p
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. |) j+ g2 y: H/ \4 o- [1 Z7 d
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9 ^, P2 F8 s% K& o! F( L+ |# VTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN $ @" t) {! N) Z
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1. You never run out of wheat. : W' ?* U- J: _) A D, \& \
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
6 Q8 m- ]4 \5 J3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
8 Q, y; ?% K1 m2 V" ^4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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; C) T) G# m4 r$ z* n1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 9 K& \5 A9 p/ L$ ?
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 4 ~0 N) }" v2 ^7 e9 b2 L
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 4 } B2 I7 a, i% l
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. - j: a3 g6 ?; R
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. ) ^; L+ O1 y- o
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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% \" E1 q. H0 k1. You live in the centre of the universe. + A1 `( P! p1 K$ v0 @. e$ R
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
) N4 o& H" o0 b8 O. _3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 4 ]' V7 i6 O0 v' U$ z
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC P$ h3 @1 J8 ]0 D8 {% G
7 ~4 \# f3 c% }5 w* `% \1. Racism is socially acceptable & j; l/ Z& W6 p4 s, o; L8 D
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 1 L5 i5 w" D( x) c s
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
( |+ R+ ]/ B- a% {( P7 @4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo */ K8 Z7 \. W: `' [6 O% q5 N9 h
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK & ~, l0 b8 T% [8 R: D' K
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
1 c! Y+ @2 x8 i0 V6 Y4 @2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 0 q$ L8 N1 Q# s: Q4 V
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 0 L+ s M$ c- W
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. ' g7 [- C, \, T {1 J1 k
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA # g/ {6 [2 A( Y; c
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. - ?# A! y' B7 ^2 o4 \6 b3 E
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
6 w, Q$ D6 Z- u3 e/ Q) q" C3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND / }3 H+ N& N# D' D
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. / T. r6 D8 W+ b& t+ z5 D
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
; z1 k6 T. e" C0 b: s3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. : T6 e8 T5 V* A3 i% c2 Q2 A% V- Y$ ^
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 7 d: \) U( l4 q i L
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
2 t7 e( T5 O# E3 ^. i6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ; `5 k6 \. k6 ~8 ?9 O& M
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND # `, f ~, g8 }" ~, ?, ^7 i% e# l
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 4 p5 M+ q- t8 Y O* h7 w* o
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. & f I) |9 N, a& ~
3. The workday is about two hours long.
7 A, D. i1 ?4 B4 n, J4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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