 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* R0 L5 X- X2 a* B" x
. P: L, N+ R6 Q
/ u; B1 J- }# X! u9 y2 _' b( |! G. l/ g- Z3 v
1. Bring your own house.
. y% W1 R$ o9 q! `
# ^4 m, s6 }# L4 N5 r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. n* g% \, m8 `) L- g9 t$ c* M* W2 y, F
hospital.
! U! K7 q8 u2 Q" A. j. r
4 E+ S" Y+ o9 C( c, v2 ^ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% I$ S7 @; Q" `3 \% D& q; K$ ?capital of Canada .$ |+ ^- w+ X3 y5 X% N) w/ `% L
/ ]+ [/ D& o8 l4 g 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada . ^% E9 G- v/ ~2 ?$ t& T
3 ^3 p; ~* r% k4 B$ @, f$ k
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; A5 \3 k9 I5 }' Zcapital of Canada .
4 h2 g) G+ C1 ]1 j: }% x2 \" \6 s/ h( E! g. d+ _
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ s( I2 q# w9 Q$8.00/hour." z, g! v0 r5 w' @
1 o' F2 y2 w6 D2 x" `& V
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
# z5 V2 X+ w% G! F
6 q' q. O& M) G, x ] 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ L& q$ z% F* y3 d* ?. Don a 15 year holiday ?
5 d9 ]8 q. |+ \
' i4 J" P8 g$ A' w% e" m 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ ~3 V" Y2 i6 A" K: Nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
+ T, V: m0 ?2 m B( I3 t
. I6 M: U |+ Q5 S/ E10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- P5 Q R+ U+ R! B3 |' d
here sick.( V+ N1 D, G& g" O& e' O
1 B) z. M% U/ L& P h
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: {$ H5 z3 P2 T* T
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ I1 u5 j5 M" ]) g+ g; }! J9 [
2 N' a, r5 L0 f7 _8 e( E( P9 w# F4 B
/ u0 t/ _, V0 G
3 X" @/ v5 X+ x" h" L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
; n' j! t, m3 P5 w, w6 _; o/ B
. ?7 p3 ?1 Y) F* B6 m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
* m: S! l# P0 \7 {* D+ J/ E! s* I
/ E6 o# V0 J+ o' o; q+ r; Z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 |' P* D2 T8 D. w [* T) Gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5 h7 J6 P& J' x& G* l
( ^- r( b+ V# L9 s2 l( N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: L6 ]# f/ |. P3 ^6 |
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; ?% _1 i5 W; Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- Z$ G/ M" j xgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 I: p+ Y- U' C9 V# z5 \! Dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.- ]! z( J% `2 B# X
' q4 ~. [, n3 M# J: _7 f a
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 Q7 k! f/ P* h" k: u! F
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6 g& w' w( F: {# ~+ i8 b- l; D% b$ H' E
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- u& {5 L; E: G$ o
can get you shot.
d }7 d, [* W" C. g0 D- ~0 P: @: `$ E7 y5 e6 R1 z* u8 Y0 y# l
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour& R% X1 P, a; ~3 Y- [( ^
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* H8 N- t/ H$ [; h7 q! \& N) f5 bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" |2 z9 O0 e, c- \8 E, I( ] umore construction starts everyday.! ^% s9 _# z9 w d/ W) C' m
h6 T9 ?& L8 i' E5 p& M' R 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; {( N/ Z& {8 `7 e) Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ `2 ^- p7 S8 w8 s
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 O( ~; H" V' G$ |1 S1 [) H; }
5 o7 u" v* H/ ~0 m8 E8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 _5 J4 z) n$ ?1 @8 k
the same road.
8 w9 s1 H# K' S
2 Y- r+ O2 M2 b: V9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
* n% V5 q" Q! G9 {+ Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
# S! p/ \, w1 v2 `3 _0 bactivated." n. w6 |. U8 I5 \
- c4 t" d; C0 \8 n4 B3 x3 i; [
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ `, b) Z! O) R' f& F& r
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 M A2 s+ \$ v5 N# k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ R/ W1 h" o7 P; y
. b( ^4 I1 @) X' y$ _
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ M9 c9 B" K2 l" f T9 Q/ Elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; d8 N. }. w3 @4 K
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ V( I# h- `* V$ S5 q2 N. s$ cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
' K& \( Z7 R; z6 q! V3 Y
