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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, |! T( x+ ^" @. H1 @5 c
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1. Bring your own house.
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- f+ d3 x: h$ V" B {* x' { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 M1 L$ G. l' [
hospital./ Y$ r! J8 g/ s+ Q; K/ y- L
' p }& b. [5 K2 E9 N r" @5 ~! \ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder ]8 n+ P0 G) D4 F# H! ?
capital of Canada ." } ?( P9 h& D$ |; N7 l
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: v7 O, v6 |& g; c 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 U+ g3 c4 j# e9 f5 P+ ]5 Y3 E+ q
capital of Canada .
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6 j H# H' R" P& T- H9 U% l- @8 c3 E7 | 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 E; t9 c. R' o) @. g7 I
$8.00/hour./ g( N* x4 I5 L" u$ v
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 ~7 A% ?" V d7 m* k3 @
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ x( J+ o5 |& N! ]9 mprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 w' Z3 o+ p' Q2 d2 a; B w
" L# q/ n. K C. v: O1 C- X5 Z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ X+ C f& Q/ ]3 s2 y% i: C- Ghere sick.* m: _9 b0 J* t0 Q
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
& `- ~- q8 l5 P; vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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4 b4 T# X$ Y1 y% ~ C9 t THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 q* V$ N/ c/ Y/ F' l6 |" o) l) N2 b
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% W; P1 b! _! M/ g
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! @1 u$ X( N+ Y6 l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 N& Z! U" Q6 l7 q0 f- pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% J6 [: K' C# p2 o2 ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
j" F0 L- k- Hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* n/ M0 c; |! L0 ~
7 S0 G2 W0 C# ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
G% `1 r- X. f1 Qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 [4 R/ {6 s+ C k! R# Q4 qcan get you shot." }& E; s" I( o& Y! X; e
N2 d; u/ @; r/ d4 _6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
4 g3 @7 U& Z5 lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 f4 `1 @& R, E! Q6 Y+ Z5 z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! g! c9 c' q0 Q* I @$ Y& ~more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& D. j) F+ W" x9 [
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& d: x2 K/ j$ X* h5 y G3 U1 Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) W: V& {1 @9 x3 m" ithe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the: c. o3 ?% Y: R" v! W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally, _, ~4 x6 y2 O b/ q
activated."
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& l: S. T6 h1 h: q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% {5 J! T) ~' ~0 R; P$ m4 m2 pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"8 K& ^0 O% E. j( u2 T; c
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* z& ]8 L A5 w( r8 H. k" B
- `/ x, t# J9 `/ l( o! G11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 V; U9 e: K4 S1 B7 w) H! vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. Z% t2 o3 S* i- m6 A' ~5 c0 T7 l
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 u( n' m; H6 F1 Z: x0 U6 X5 U
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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