送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
3 J; X) M. k- J* F! shospital.

  f- a* S. s' L) R* I 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& z9 G9 A$ h3 `5 A" J- vcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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6 q* n4 z$ l* y! B4 f' Z5 z# \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# j4 u' p# a; x/ K  |6 kcapital of Canada .
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5 E# j  h/ G# B/ h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

/ \0 q# W! }3 x' [* ?4 e# K$ v 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

; H7 z& b7 F, T2 v- f+ B/ l 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% b" h8 F: n5 P/ r. c  tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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0 j( X0 |+ y& z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; k6 }' \! V& u6 | THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

; S9 ]+ f( M" K6 Y# d5 A, s5 Y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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- L- a' t1 l& f% V) X* Q; s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ a& s0 W! l& rmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, o0 K7 Q6 r/ s: u) o& Ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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' j! y/ H1 o' ~& V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- r# U$ k% ^9 @) Ncussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ P4 G7 ?  ?7 }4 J5 N  a( J, fcan get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
) I: p  h' `2 [day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 E3 H8 O" _0 ^. D8 Hmore construction starts everyday.
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, V& x/ j  i4 A( P- H8 v# m  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" |1 n4 I0 t% Kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' v# j! {8 A7 m. X) K( ~the same road.

" N6 A2 S$ A# n3 D; N9 ^, s- h9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% k: p: _) X2 M, E6 mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! Y* p! B+ b( n6 K) X* q! J: ~3 Elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. J5 J0 o) _" ]. s7 ^  u/ T2 Nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
. M, ^6 s9 S  a- v6 n1 _+ [有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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7 @% \9 L' }* \1 @( |+ @此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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9 z5 H5 x) o! W[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

1 ?2 `* r. |* c# W- ^& C8 T1 M( X* l: h 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
' Z) E3 A8 ~9 h$ s9 s朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.