 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. X3 \6 ~) Q- t5 v7 d u4 Q
6 S" O" t5 I) O# o- x8 r
/ N: n/ J g) V; o. L& x0 X
& p) i! @: w( @) c* W" o 1. Bring your own house.
& s1 B& P" ]4 ^
5 ~" c r2 H; D4 J, K 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
- r" E5 l/ y& dhospital.2 `- y/ I4 q) K( n+ ]) y
6 a* E, Y1 e" ]$ Y& ^# s3 f: a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
* W! v5 l' g- T: u3 ~ M. w9 }& qcapital of Canada .
: e( k% x0 u3 u9 J9 R& D+ S" w8 J; Q8 E3 F( O) M
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 p1 {5 S! F+ e @9 ^1 p
& H8 X: U5 [, n: Z5 a( x, r
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! Y2 G( l9 _5 |9 Z1 A) q: N+ R8 Dcapital of Canada .$ J W& }% s) x/ i) _3 [) o
5 C P. z* p' ~$ N' R- f! { 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. z+ d8 `9 @3 @2 f1 ]' x5 H$8.00/hour.
! O# M7 w' }3 L; V# r" q2 P/ z# |- _5 Q; x2 ?4 |
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 `. e$ W2 X9 m( b- L$ g0 {
' n' s0 U* ^. C' L# E 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 }3 |1 P! {$ ]* @# | t2 Qon a 15 year holiday ?
( N$ H4 D4 H3 L0 \
[4 G2 J( Y" m- r) [: d5 a 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas$ Q3 t9 e; r! g
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)- Y! O: Z! w5 M" `4 C; g7 e
' j- v3 J5 v4 T; }5 g+ C! H3 a/ x7 e
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come7 ]2 w+ q* x" N8 o' g& T/ o: C6 b
here sick.
% ?( V0 s$ z" B6 a* U: T: p/ M5 i* g/ G+ i. |+ z5 i) y6 [ G
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. F& s5 j( r$ @3 Q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 g% u2 {3 v5 F0 t: H! {# i
. ], e# W$ N( }, W# ?' Y0 s( P {/ h5 C. D
& g% F+ P* i+ d+ D' c8 A0 W# O7 L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
: ^9 Y( B# r3 f. J
4 V3 y2 z' A* |9 W+ x5 q3 [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".* |! R: G( D0 u9 X- c. c- h
" B8 r4 b7 V! Z+ V3 v3 u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
$ t3 S2 T" H6 F; ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
0 c/ c! f4 C* X$ G S* t% u8 q# v5 z
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- }: t1 z0 K1 I% V$ |% G
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ D' s2 p; a' t
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' i5 p5 l- a( ^3 M: R6 r& z# Ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( z: s2 J% B* M5 }- xphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
9 G. z% U9 n1 t( D. T- R* l# ?/ |' b9 w$ r! g
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. A5 [* M7 }- Y* ]% j( J/ T
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6 L2 I" W& ?& N3 A% y; u/ H' |6 g8 h2 Y( s4 q6 o+ i
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
" d6 i1 ]( ?9 D$ ccan get you shot.' i$ E" _0 u6 W2 F- E0 x. `. B
$ o8 |( [! V! _8 [7 n% Y" u4 H" _, }
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. b2 @, ]9 w6 Y" O6 I- J- |barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 q7 m" _( y8 O2 E8 \) D! n3 Vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 A1 V6 f: Y+ z; S3 P" V- r
more construction starts everyday.
) m4 e7 X: h# Y
6 f2 F6 o k9 k0 a. L2 a, N+ a, B) c' Q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) N9 X" K) I# z1 V& Q, gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 c% w0 n3 u5 f/ ]; B) i! ?squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. G& j! |+ J, G& C% H# s( H
! O+ U- K# Z* q8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 J. }( l/ w- u$ A) n
the same road.
+ k* i9 d- }/ P( A7 B; P R& Y- t: A% Y+ V; T7 C) h$ m
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% j$ ~6 ? B' ^; N9 [
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# d m/ O' t: d: u# W
activated."
; z/ V# \5 }+ N4 G8 S: w& S
& c# a2 V y& f5 I2 S5 a6 Y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 ]) z& I, c" l& ?, c2 o! l! s* _: f
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; E, k# ?; U0 F, Q' p/ A( a1 m: Laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
9 o% g, M8 ]7 z. F1 x5 J, G( X5 x, L+ H: U3 f, j1 A! [! C* ~! C8 |
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* w/ K: J. x) |' L: |6 I) H! k7 W
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and1 q7 m" t$ n! {7 C, | J. S2 \% q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; |* k9 s6 a# L) H# E- Wvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
9 Z0 q0 K% G5 p+ W. Q3 K- w
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
3 Y5 a/ ~$ E- Q7 y/ o5 f
- e2 z8 I2 c1 I( W: k# t
