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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. T% z! _ h- A4 N
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( C! D. W ^2 p( w+ [$ z! u 1. Bring your own house.
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, m. I2 @4 k7 F2 Z9 k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. c, J- Q! `/ e4 R" o
hospital.
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$ X# P, t, V* h4 K 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, H, L! V; E6 m8 j" qcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., k* y8 T; ^* d* p. n
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; T& u# @+ R2 P/ z7 @
capital of Canada .; x$ ?4 Y5 E" F9 w
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, j8 |. v" R5 q! t4 n
$8.00/hour." l$ _9 l7 c1 u& ]
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money( e1 p1 X/ m) k3 U# y# Z
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas* f. U6 T7 h$ I1 |) I1 r" Y, M
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& U. p1 t! i2 z: M2 x+ Y
6 w" S% D. m) c6 }3 C8 W: ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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! c) I }4 z" H/ k8 Q6 d. D11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
. A$ n, n m8 Wyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour; l7 h T# B. z! \
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." E! ~" y3 Y e- ~) N; X
, W/ F R# {( E4 i: J( x* y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ n [6 h* ^8 E% @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# G3 X" l- t1 W
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires D2 @7 t+ K' f5 q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ t: c# |: ]# \/ G! d \* M& Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." _, h& {% E% e
4 p! A1 E4 O0 e3 C2 c5 h |6 Z2 S4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, G" i1 X' i+ k+ X1 E$ Qcussed out, and possibly shot.4 O4 q/ J+ f: U& M
- A0 F5 d2 G. r2 W" y: l5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 H2 q0 A9 H' L( B2 V* [
can get you shot.! R+ h8 L* t" {
! v, [4 t- Q% V. b5 t& s2 ^! ]( W6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: ~, ]3 z& {+ _5 R _
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 |8 T3 _4 q. d4 b% h4 Q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# }7 _ Y2 n- f
more construction starts everyday.
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* c: s0 P+ k8 q$ S, z) \* A# q7 ] 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% N- @2 X6 C2 s3 Q4 l' r
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 z! _- A( [: ?2 X0 E: e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( c/ @& g/ I" g$ j4 B. t
2 U$ x+ [/ q7 T# \$ ^, b% x+ G6 i4 O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" @, z8 E5 m. F+ {
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 u( m/ W* v/ S) t
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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! D' p1 H* r) o" j1 |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 x r @. O1 Q2 U# N) e( X
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
9 V+ H( R- b" Q$ i9 e& g! t8 Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." {7 b1 H, o. z
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% l! N" ]! \7 z! Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and& e' k4 `: C0 b% m# @' r
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 [9 X* J/ Y0 N* q! F" M3 `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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