送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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8 e; g+ b2 U/ k* h( l: t 1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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# }0 }; ~! T+ d 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 }: J7 ?6 C* [: O+ |3 a$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

( P4 m! m7 A5 |: _, }1 d& e  L 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, l+ O( P7 w  b# son a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
  a- z/ N- V) c( q4 X3 y! ^" F/ Rprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

9 y; `8 p5 x0 S% }6 X10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, l2 K9 \+ A! @' `5 }' f& S6 s( there sick.

5 r3 u: l5 Z+ v! H0 V3 U0 r8 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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7 ~( k) w8 }; m; u1 z6 j THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

, H+ }+ t) g0 r3 O0 n2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) i: ?# K( k7 J4 A; [8 A: U& {8 l4 Ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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" C8 I5 z- M! l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) f0 p  u) G% b2 [. t% K3 Xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: K+ |) t$ h/ X& f  Qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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' q, d8 d* w4 w' ~7 g4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* m" j, x4 R  O: m( H# T1 }$ ccussed out, and possibly shot.
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+ l% r, s* f; T" A5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

9 B  G/ C0 ?& [# a8 P6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 k+ v0 N, H" o1 B( C0 x; ~barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& J- j) B9 P/ ?: O* n  Jday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& G: t1 B* {9 a" t- `more construction starts everyday.

( r1 S2 ?) Z) p4 w, c7 |, m  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
4 @( n9 c2 c4 r9 A1 e4 pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 x0 h+ w9 w; |3 ~9 b" s" ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

+ {2 N2 T, g- W8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

0 F" P: T' m7 U% ]( s1 {. g* t( @9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. Q+ W9 W$ v$ N/ O) L- J1 K, Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

1 j" ^) N% s$ {. `+ y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* _7 ]/ U/ E1 G  |" E( A1 Maccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

3 p) H4 o) @. z3 |+ ]11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" ^& V5 o* D6 R9 mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

: q6 Y  d% {- A; {  b有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
1 j. T  M/ L  |9 ]满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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) A* T- C) U$ ^) p" R[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
: b- H6 X0 X. i% v8 c4 o' |6 _朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
; B5 R8 {6 T0 ?5 r0 |0 k满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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. c3 E; d. L9 z 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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  S0 g- z9 g% E/ f' r" w% Y  i0 p 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

' D! ]9 H. y) ]& p; o& D. q, N这么刺痛你了吗？

) b+ m% r# t# m8 M我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' C& r5 |; S& o0 Z! d: u满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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' f: f2 B9 s9 e  T, L. T你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.