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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 T, G1 e1 u3 T; L
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder" K4 I7 ^& E2 o
capital of Canada .
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) m+ o2 W: h2 p- D' d" h. T3 c" a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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1 F# q* u6 I7 `" q# j9 n& l- ^: W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ J* G6 r6 g; s
$8.00/hour.) Q6 b- X$ N& z. ]6 t( l
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 n6 ^) M& {+ X
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 V1 ~: M' X1 X. o; wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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: c: S9 i/ v" q D! l; k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# w I- ^9 `+ T9 K( b+ }! u
here sick.9 G$ `3 _$ m( C. y/ o: t
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12$ I; d7 [6 }* O3 Y+ V1 m; [1 G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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d. N0 U: _# m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- F! y5 I4 b+ F/ e
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: M+ F9 J W. ^9 v, r5 N, d
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 D" I% w/ m; r5 rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest9 g& c6 ~' G1 ?4 V T& E$ o" j! o
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% S0 H3 J+ e$ W- N
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 h1 \2 ^4 `7 P6 }2 Ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 e- X8 N5 X* Q1 Q7 B0 z. {4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 i+ F& K' h% m& mcussed out, and possibly shot.% {& T9 }" `6 E# o) |& c/ H
3 ?, C8 x$ v6 x% ?5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
. @, t+ B+ q1 ?$ O' y$ v/ qcan get you shot.
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* ^: m5 r' G9 _6 l* {4 q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour& `4 z' J/ j5 ]5 S9 P) Q2 E# Y1 _
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 V$ z D$ \* g! c7 J
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, Y Q4 k( k; O
more construction starts everyday.
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% Q6 S) [. O+ [& I& D6 d 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: d9 }+ ]5 D ?: B& q$ q0 L+ \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, v/ e6 n& N$ C$ T+ z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 [+ O2 m5 q! _
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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8 ^% v. V i: N& a& _: ~9 `8 C10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) ]& L, r! \5 S9 p
) |) U3 j- ^$ U$ Z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' E" i2 t1 k3 t" t" Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- Z! u) j, T# S
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! {- }7 @9 S: B- {virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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