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Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.+ s R. b8 y4 D# K! s3 I: O
2. Mostly to clean the house. " d& D2 u, T- |
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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k! f" o2 O& A. C, }+ g2 M6 hHow did God make mothers? 1 e- _4 ?2 q! p, W1 [3 q
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
, Y( Z$ k6 t. ^2 S; R1 W' S2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
2 \( Y. ~- P0 r2 e) G3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 2 ~( E3 k+ B6 e. F- X; o/ w( [9 i
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What ingredients are mothers made of ? 3 y5 W4 D% h- M. |' A/ a# E4 M
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
; Z' G+ e% a7 V; z& O2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. " _) U& _. T7 H' S8 [
) u" Y& t$ f& V! K$ lWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1 P6 v/ O! O! t* V; X3 [$ j1. We're related.
9 M" l' U1 {8 j( O1 y2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom? $ H' b/ [% `& O; T6 W5 v# f
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
A7 H4 I% v4 n& f5 t0 _9 a2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 5 J' v+ D6 o$ U% l- k5 x" \
3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
# b3 }+ _8 V+ C4 k: M% a' {+ n1. His last name.
; o! n4 s/ I: J% i2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
% W8 I1 g# M+ }+ o7 \7 v7 @3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad? u% P3 X% y! R, G. ^
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 6 n6 P1 ~7 P+ R4 L
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
0 \/ ]& I2 f$ a" q4 Y3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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. N/ `4 F" y- a% kWho's the boss at your house? # D% A) b6 _0 l
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. - r% p/ ?" Y: _# F
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.8 X( T& e3 p) T* r( h- B
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. % ~' q& L1 ^. @
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What's the difference between moms & dads? 5 {5 V( k ]' M+ u, ?' E% e
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ; ?! U1 @+ [( P, I: N7 W/ E
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
7 W0 }2 N% p. ~9 \3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 6 o) d: H" r7 r$ M
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 4 U; x' c) I8 M
) B% S9 u- K1 X2 z2 \! HWhat does your mom do in her spare time? . Q& B) ~% r% e; N1 F7 E0 T% k
1. Mothers don't do spare time.# F) i8 _1 Z2 D
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
) L) K! E/ Z2 G3 b0 s" g- }/ o1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery./ ~$ Y0 ^6 r- W
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
2 e8 L' X/ V# S* O& ]1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
0 k9 K/ A" |4 }1 I" |2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.& c* [2 v$ r T/ t' A- x
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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