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$ ?9 c. Q, p# I3 W+ L1 g! z9 AWhy did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
' P+ y1 r& ^% X3 {7 b$ j2. Mostly to clean the house. 2 j5 b6 q5 c5 j3 }# |
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers? / z% @2 |7 ? }8 X3 d
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
' v3 ]+ X2 O" {) P% s. L2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 2 b4 b w6 O. ~ \ B
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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' \% L% ]2 y. s" \& TWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
, R/ e/ I) M; h+ u+ L2 T1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
$ s( @% t* ~ t2 w; m) e1 v2 j3 a2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 8 k: g k( k7 d5 z6 s6 p
3 L. b8 z1 @* ~+ }& j# o0 fWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
. s; B* U7 @* }: z+ m, y; T1. We're related.
) f4 |1 ^9 K% k3 I8 V, \3 _, }, f! ?2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
f, j4 c& R# }0 d. a1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
8 W" }* [4 F1 X4 A& M2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. ) Z; ^3 U/ H8 U
3. They say she used to be nice. , j% J' j3 m+ d$ P8 C
: V2 c8 t( N$ i1 @8 OWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him? - l: v. ^; B* h3 R/ T. U* C* ^0 n
1. His last name.
0 M8 ^$ \- N+ n7 f! q1 Y2 p2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?5 R. N. z/ V3 J* L3 F- q! X
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? # j: T5 l% C& \
- p0 N, \7 ~/ b6 wWhy did your mom marry your dad? 8 Z0 F8 E, {/ a* M z& U& m
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 3 h* b, B% F3 \% u/ R/ u
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3 _* j/ u/ `2 h9 v/ Z! j W6 S" L
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. * L& u5 y- `$ ~ H% Y! D" L
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Who's the boss at your house? . R0 n0 K9 g ^/ n2 g* V
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. / ]9 w1 n% b: V5 p' _8 C$ O. j
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
: X# ~* k5 v ]0 K% F* ^3 ~8 ~3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
/ G9 f5 ~6 Y1 K. F9 [6 D# S1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2 d4 l# b) v! }! I5 W6 [
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
# g) ?) S6 t5 B3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
7 Y* l; d2 w9 Y; N; H: B6 a4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. ; L; i' S @& x
( }, W( f0 f( B2 _, _1 SWhat does your mom do in her spare time? 9 e- G0 D/ ~# v6 B5 T% Y" e m
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
8 u% {( r. C/ s1 v0 ]2 W2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. # S4 x( U! _( k, F" i
3 [6 H/ |4 J9 Z+ U0 \6 V4 k2 ]$ T% E gWhat would it take to make your mom perfect? * `4 t4 }8 V! g t5 c6 s+ r" u
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
/ Z# {0 } p) k$ d: T2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. ! ~! e& r3 Z! C8 I" |
2 q3 L2 E2 U1 `: k' Q8 QIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? ' X' p& {) ]9 N0 e, F
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. % c0 J5 F4 K& c2 @# N1 I
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
- F. u0 j& [6 N. C3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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