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Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.' t3 d/ a* w. Q& w5 o- c5 Z
2. Mostly to clean the house. 7 L2 `, V/ r& c( \0 T
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. & @$ M; L5 n3 e: C' B. w
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How did God make mothers? + q7 u9 h( A& J& P' p9 b
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
# k! H7 |$ d' u' q1 s: E( B2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
% g! f# u0 r4 h3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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/ @. w& Y- u- |; YWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? 8 C( z7 [- b0 q G) |- q
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 7 I# H$ t1 c- s l/ a ^
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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0 c, V4 t5 Q; M( ?# RWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
( K* p3 k6 S' N3 L' b6 u1. We're related.
( V) }( `7 I" O: x4 N& o2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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' s$ s" y: M% c' F8 A3 |What kind of little girl was your mom? % v: m, F& a2 t8 @5 V0 b
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. / V& k1 q% N. h4 @
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
4 Y, u; T9 I) g# N, J7 I n0 P3. They say she used to be nice.
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2 F1 L. m' j1 ]3 nWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 3 {& P& i" y; R; g" }1 _7 |
1. His last name." e( i# x* e! Y
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?& T+ {" v) `: c1 v
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? - o/ J& M. K! }" E* ~% B, {. O
9 E( E& y7 U3 N Y, E9 Q$ eWhy did your mom marry your dad?
6 ^" B- F3 r) O) N& P6 f9 c1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
/ A2 r# X: W; A5 p$ G5 D5 M I2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3 ^; Q& F0 g* Z" I- J4 H3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. ) ~. {) A) v# G# o( E+ z3 w
. R) z1 j w7 HWho's the boss at your house? 9 ]) Q; X {/ f" f: ~7 J6 I
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. $ Q1 m. X9 f% c( q
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
8 d' P* D+ J. b+ L3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ! L# ^" {7 A0 V% D0 p3 B% y/ c% Y
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
& ?9 V9 z3 m# n4 }$ G1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ; b, A9 V0 }% D
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
/ P) G5 a! H% v- s5 ^3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
$ u! |% {: M/ N6 C' C8 k8 l2 X8 I4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 7 b) t8 N0 q6 a
7 L3 U" \/ c Z i0 i7 fWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
% T( t/ i( I" A% R9 N# R% l) y1. Mothers don't do spare time.4 q* T8 M/ C. J/ g
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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B) u( _' @) m: Y y+ q! ?What would it take to make your mom perfect? # b7 g6 H" k: b I$ o
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
5 @7 ~# j+ ^. |. H0 R9 F2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. / W8 s; f' w/ ?
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
* L6 u* i; a( j4 _1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
4 W+ |3 _; l" p, J5 v3 f2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me., Y* Z0 C' ]+ u5 S* p0 u
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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