 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ) |4 h- R/ { F- V) u+ E
* e$ @3 Z9 s6 p0 a2 l- ?2 q% M
[7 d' n; P/ ]2 ~8 Z--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* P# m, J$ {) F- M" l/ J8 }& a4 ~4 x1 C7 C' K& v0 c
& V& T5 {9 w2 s- [, M0 ^ u
- ~. ]$ }% W3 TTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 g2 }$ f" ^; |- E# I1 B
1 {' ~8 |% l. M+ MWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 2 P2 K6 ~0 `$ O- u8 ~/ f0 W
1 W' e! v0 l" t2 B- k1 dIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- X/ C% `) S% ?: z
% C* c1 T, K1 v1 SLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! d8 p" g6 y2 ~2 C/ x/ ^- P
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
' [6 x; x+ o1 D) G% \% M0 |3 ?
[1 o* ?2 w6 R0 UGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
3 Q( _8 n' q% q6 |
9 s& c0 Y" ~9 F- K; k) FWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. + g$ c/ c$ w x3 A. t
6 e# l0 j E* L" n: M* O cWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 R6 O; S, m* S, ^! T
0 }& g- r, S5 [Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
9 S2 b- U# f& `* M {( b; K+ ?) t0 m6 S0 G/ y) t h
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
3 ~+ `% z! C# R& r0 H1 ]/ n& }$ p y2 Z
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
3 Q3 U7 C" r0 V$ }# I
3 O1 D( L$ H4 b, F- _) H9 URinse conditioner off hair.
8 ~$ F) L6 S" p5 V O; S ]
7 G# l8 K5 [* X0 k' U2 dShave armpits and legs.# C P/ z* o6 \1 @; [6 E: X% Y
& l. D5 x% S# L6 {" ~% _. L+ sTurn off shower.6 ^6 ~1 P0 Y) L1 u$ @* `
+ ]! f' B) x- _& [7 ISqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
/ `' ]8 m2 e8 O% t; q
: ?. L% w+ M/ D9 GSpray mold spots with Tilex. # q: n. j+ J; ?2 P! S+ p# K
2 Q( _# ~9 E; s' E6 U# S R6 z
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
" H" e' M K& c! E: K/ Q" @9 Z! z5 i9 a7 b' _2 H. A& Z3 w) i
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
5 F; s; D* L6 L
0 ^5 T" @# S1 j1 Y/ tReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 6 G2 k, d, z8 H0 Q! J% Z
8 f% A$ G3 Y( b3 m" bIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
: I: b' _( a2 y3 @* D
2 w0 G+ Q# M( f2 o G" B* m ?5 R M9 N7 S* l( X% H" ]' ?1 N4 W- b
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
& c1 G F: i$ k9 X
! z. M" r, l5 w s" i* FTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
, K$ ^8 q& h/ C' o# P7 X6 r- c5 k( \3 j+ p' Y: i
Walk naked to the bathroom. y4 L: B/ d# G6 Z { L' z( q4 u K
1 d/ {% |3 j" }; B: O# S
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % t. t% B8 M$ _ ^5 @$ }& w
/ H/ I" `: j* n# K
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
1 O! F* F, l2 I& V3 y) y5 B2 W1 I0 {7 l: e6 i5 B
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
5 R' j" }2 C3 e8 `. B. s
' j; B0 G) Y9 _. oGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
$ ?/ g! ?& _! p) @+ {6 }
% k4 x |; Z, k/ B% w }Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
0 D1 `/ A1 c2 W) ~/ k) S8 h9 V: A8 ^4 \* a+ Z, v- z. ^
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
/ M2 h: }# d& P& G9 J1 y" T' [# @* D, Q
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; |8 `- d9 P: q. l
" t1 Y& t' o; l- t
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
- y; x B& i5 m) p4 S+ G+ }, Z8 \. o& ~; T. k7 H; g
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. - s$ c. l5 z5 Z0 G7 m6 y% N! {- d, Q+ \
2 {, x! l* _+ I; x- q9 T3 u5 J
Pee.
- n0 L# l9 Q: }! B7 C% ?
& ]& v' d0 P( y# U; ^' ^Rinse off and get out of shower.
) q' z- j. Q+ Q$ z& z" G4 n( a& P* R% I/ ?1 P# {$ ? \
Partially dry off.1 f: v3 K$ e$ [, _0 ~
* q! s$ a4 e0 s( t& z( r
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. / Z3 C! y4 P: F! v% A+ P
" _1 \" Y k" E2 \( dAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ) k7 U/ U' j7 z& H
) S! G; u1 W4 I3 _
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
! x; [+ s) f+ d0 W5 _$ D/ V1 c) M, k, ~1 N
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Z% W/ K2 X0 F( u
$ \: Y# y, b7 m. z2 J" N6 C! GThrow wet towel on bed.
% T# ]7 g G- R% Q
5 C+ f' X; p9 fIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
