 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
& ]7 s3 ] Z X% N
: G2 n/ c( z) f0 J% s6 c; e( \
1 v4 S6 t7 w& J# z4 N0 d: ^6 o--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7 K' T& y- t3 r8 q' R
4 [* N2 b: _8 d/ S8 j: e- m% S, F* k/ W0 J% a |8 J4 y0 P
8 [, P( r: d4 E$ V& O! b" R* G# jTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.7 l7 y* U; A7 ]$ ~4 m ]6 n* a
1 B7 w& l4 l) V/ q
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 0 |. D* Z4 L6 N" b* b/ H
1 j2 {4 G) \9 ?+ t4 b9 H' TIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
% _" w! U" s* t- _$ i1 r0 ~9 [+ f/ E) ^) u& P" c
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 3 x& {& N& q) A( T9 i
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
: w: ^/ C! u, F* n3 _ x% T! d
$ s8 h4 K. [3 X, z7 o5 SGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
2 ]. J# W$ t5 l8 f" y
' |; T- r1 T9 D3 N, i0 }Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
) ^& l) d& K9 |7 x7 |/ n" G$ ]$ l: |
6 j, f0 Q% p* wWash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ b/ g. M; y& P
9 t! a0 k4 k& A4 K9 qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.." ^; Y& y5 r! I0 P
/ e# ]1 l( y1 |% H+ x1 v( @
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 h1 H0 l5 J5 H. Y& s
/ |7 F/ S2 }! ]! LWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 [* s, f( P, H9 u: Z: a
" S1 y' h( o" ~3 _0 N$ @" u lRinse conditioner off hair.
3 W. G; f! k9 ?' Y: \
% v( V4 F: x: u8 I. i) _2 ]Shave armpits and legs./ Z; G! k" ]. d! k( a
! F4 i( W, C0 G: s P' ATurn off shower. B5 H& h: w! n1 b5 O2 K
! y u5 f3 U- |7 KSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.4 y$ {& O$ R) z( N# `1 C. H
& X% B, @5 ~/ u+ a U5 cSpray mold spots with Tilex.
* m) y) a2 E/ _0 {6 X
& {: A: ?; ]( [ r) C# T, VGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. / r1 Y5 V0 d) H2 Z4 {
: U i8 i! ^( V: P" g
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
. d/ D; `6 |' y1 @+ R" D5 a7 Q
# ~# V3 j) X3 l8 E& a- T' OReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
9 A$ s6 n" X7 |4 W0 |/ r; R4 W- V- L. f9 p
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
5 T% c* q+ y6 B8 v
/ E" z, M$ H6 q5 c, D
, x* x2 e# I, ]5 S; M3 w- k) nHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
, K+ j5 B$ G- i& r* g
& E* m- K) H0 vTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
' G) o- V+ P' A9 O3 }7 J
* z! b# N2 w+ b: }7 p/ Z/ ^: `Walk naked to the bathroom.7 p4 e _+ s6 s
6 P3 Q; Z3 q: s0 a
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ; x4 d# m1 Z2 R
- y2 O6 T6 A' LLook at your manly physique in the mirror. & A, @; z2 F1 l' B! n; V
8 g* Q) Z2 D1 I4 b
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( w+ v, S) k! W) O
5 _3 t3 c& ]: `0 J* {4 ZGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
( W9 H( w: ~: d. U, t3 S
3 | L6 I+ _4 C" p: p" |* m! qBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
0 m: V7 t+ G! c" ^! C( C2 L: h7 \) Q# K4 a' K" W8 d7 {4 n
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " u- `- U \( ]- b4 N9 p% l
5 P K/ [) O! n
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
& [4 Q* s' M. |- u y! A8 R0 U' Y( z0 _! r' f! `% o% C; D o
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 C$ t3 }7 R+ F* a
! e, t6 S( Y/ y8 E: U$ _Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 4 [1 R. Y% H4 `: S$ y
( ~2 I. z5 ?$ s# c
Pee.
# t; ~4 d W; E6 t( t9 t
5 \: ^6 {6 G( P# z+ Z; C/ V. H( n; K5 GRinse off and get out of shower.
5 f: R% q; G" T6 v5 E. J& B9 K% Q- L
( K* W. m) w( \& e6 c- w$ [Partially dry off.
' l* Q" A9 T# U1 g6 y% B
0 V( K X* p$ vFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
& D7 ~6 R* ~4 L/ B6 {; {9 f' A* u& I4 j, F" @2 w
Admire wiener size in mirror again. 8 }: i& d6 O) ?" Z$ E, ]
) i$ s" S; u7 s5 h5 L6 [Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
- r: q. f9 d! }8 u" @
9 c3 D, i0 n( [' {Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
. h& |7 ^/ J9 ~0 p S6 Y
) ~' Z1 @6 T" ^Throw wet towel on bed. & J$ i$ Q% J6 q) [' f( u
$ f: M; _# Q1 D& ] Q
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|