 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : - |" g) |& E9 u
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+ S9 l8 E7 E, Q* O0 JTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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9 p [! X% u7 t, v# h3 i# eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' x W' M6 ^. e1 ]: ]: e) imake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 d% W. J; Q# Y8 p' M* z7 h6 d$ v
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 D# z3 p9 b0 n. n
g) e$ \; v+ l! m f9 h% ]Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 C0 z/ | z( v, t, j; a& u( t8 j+ O) v
- o, v, F( N1 M2 sCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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* T6 |: t c$ k+ r7 g: tWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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) D: v1 w# B, kWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! b- D A2 X/ O; U
5 C8 q9 j5 S; ~Rinse conditioner off hair.
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* m7 J* n9 R6 `) v4 eShave armpits and legs.8 n1 _: I3 T2 O; [! V
8 f) x" l: P2 a. A% [Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ U# A5 s% r$ j3 K; f9 D+ ^
) K1 g* `- ^/ O0 }7 T; R+ aSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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; G4 ~" G$ m, R6 TReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ( e: R& ]/ ~4 Z! i% C1 E* {
) a% r7 Z) z/ L* U% v3 iIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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% d2 b8 a$ n# C0 m. T7 _HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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\- [! R+ q8 ~3 b D* FTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 \% |3 ~( m+ t! z
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Walk naked to the bathroom.9 d" D, |8 F( j% q+ D$ M, b5 b
+ J! S( U7 E3 r, y$ B2 @$ c8 U) WIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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7 ]3 O1 ^9 r, U6 z L- fLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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3 @. ]3 S! L! S8 v2 p+ [3 H( ZAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. & k+ U( ^3 b' x5 |" U
; ^, |5 t! m7 R# K) A/ Z7 `Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 I7 ^' ]6 p& s* _7 n
( Z9 D& a F: U9 [) g7 m" R6 wBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 9 }0 d4 `* V5 g/ I8 w6 A
; \. w+ y; \* A' I o7 jFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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: y% T" N* p' |0 ^$ DWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. / T! J8 N" M7 P3 |) }. m
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Pee. 0 R8 D; A$ L1 F$ _; m9 S
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.: G2 u7 k! q7 } G' I6 p0 X
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. F8 L. e" ~5 n5 F; z
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 4 P# w, }1 c5 y% n
; B+ D8 P+ e8 a" m) PLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " v* K; v7 X2 B5 f' w2 \/ i
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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. q1 w+ D& s8 T% H, I' x+ RThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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