 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( G. ^' |# p" I: `. q$ E4 D, D' D
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?% a9 r7 V( ?: `4 w+ x0 H, WTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- ~* B4 I/ N5 o a2 A2 T
$ ?/ Q' {5 {" v+ y/ Q& c v& A3 PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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0 w4 z7 }% I' p8 Z5 rIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) V6 M% C+ }/ M% l: @Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
4 I: ]: h* P. T& kmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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1 x5 g( a7 V5 j5 @0 O: z, i) ]Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.% M; m, U8 d& K& e9 v5 h8 X" J
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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/ M: y/ o+ U& m1 O sWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. # W2 N* P* x' z$ V: a+ X
% P$ R( x7 v, Q# B8 A( y9 l" UWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * [7 B7 v4 W+ E. n# F- m2 K- e
6 O9 }+ D9 M1 r! h8 d+ _4 D6 iRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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% ^9 t1 U, R. h# H) P- tSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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# J% H0 O$ A8 BSpray mold spots with Tilex. + F! A8 L" ^7 I1 _6 E* ]
" S; l1 L" k2 e5 fGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 6 p. ]+ y0 e/ i% ^: v
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. , c5 y! `" o& d2 W$ d
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 Y2 V2 N- y. Q; I% e+ c2 G9 ^) S
1 d" Y5 A5 A/ j0 F( c7 c( {# i: ITake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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" S5 o! z* |& j" h0 q, [Walk naked to the bathroom.4 U' g; n: R' c0 \
) s5 p4 a3 B! O6 z" _5 mIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. % v' r& W ^ t* Y/ W
3 ]4 s: R1 S8 w1 H) \Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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9 K0 q9 H" Z6 F; f( Y' ZBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. - N6 i& _: F6 R) n# l
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + M- F8 c& ^1 {% w4 ^$ {
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 3 G% f- e0 I' R: g0 l' G
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ; G% D% K2 ~- N
2 |: I4 [$ \' G+ L8 \Pee.
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9 I6 |' l) I% D6 CRinse off and get out of shower. ( ^" h! c L# r* J& I
7 x! w) ?7 i; d4 r6 a1 fPartially dry off.
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% D8 a$ Z/ R2 o2 ]* G/ ~: zFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 2 s0 Z7 A5 V+ r$ T
& f1 G9 g: M) n1 i3 z, bAdmire wiener size in mirror again. % |+ y6 W$ D s# G, z0 g i
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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8 |( Z7 ^# j9 _, V7 y8 _1 }Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. $ S) T8 p5 p' a" \# R. I
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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