 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : # {6 e1 O7 e- U1 _8 ?0 x9 U- |, j6 H; Q
% b! G. F: h* n$ o
# z% h" @0 V' }, ]" g9 D1 d! ?, D8 D-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @' Z+ ^& m* p7 c" v2 v
+ j( o) s/ n9 F
4 `! T# F- ?4 O8 i3 D
+ P' j# `- k' t8 Z: L4 cTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 T7 Y, m- {3 L( }, b9 r6 a
; a( C$ ~7 l) c5 R: U2 eWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( A1 g. F9 C {8 N/ J$ J& }
6 ^. |4 x! L3 m( i
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas." M% Q+ w: e4 z
3 ?# _, j+ m; F a; s* W
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # ^3 a7 ?& f; Z# e3 F; S# {3 Z
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., d3 Q' ~( W' S# Z, P9 c
. w9 i) h0 E6 X( I
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7 A6 [( u8 W ?
4 Y% c2 m2 b: e; q) W* l( TWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
: X/ j% e. l3 t9 j* m/ o: r9 @, l5 [4 [: E$ V5 i' @
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* t* \+ U" J6 v; F( Y- Z
$ u* z" T/ {+ g2 c2 J/ wCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..0 z0 ]- V5 c/ |1 f
# m5 T' x' }. K4 G8 [; w
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
7 g1 h9 K$ M( F8 b2 G
6 \3 c, w! `4 ^1 A/ nWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. % g3 K3 O T4 Q7 w% W
/ Q$ E7 I* B2 z3 R; s' ^1 Z
Rinse conditioner off hair.
{; @, m* A M: g6 I% f
. p& n+ }, B/ O0 {Shave armpits and legs.
0 ?, W% V/ b7 K/ U9 y* {. @! Z
Turn off shower.
. y" P9 m# O3 U- V* S6 S) R+ ?
' @) f1 s6 M% h8 t$ h( b; u& E8 Q2 [( ISqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
- F# A, y; j2 g: _" {2 D7 i5 {! }' |- E$ k) {3 F, T
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
# N1 h- n0 r% F. [! y
+ u; l1 u4 `8 DGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # y2 Z6 M' r. O4 S0 i
" b6 u+ o1 e; B7 ~/ L, FWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
6 w# X" ?7 }0 r( C* r0 W* g8 j, w+ b
3 z! ^6 m3 m3 r1 R3 \" o7 PReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ( x8 Y u( ]% i v ~! N, i
2 \3 q# Z8 N$ u
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
% N8 q! y! o4 t4 V' d4 a
8 V' y0 o: W( r7 ^, K0 ~. l
6 N% U r0 V5 RHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 2 R# `) v7 G0 K6 v( U8 U- k [
* {' D2 L/ B" V/ X& e. ^" r/ J; I+ RTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
( s* o) a* [% `; b8 w8 m4 j' l* k9 L$ Z' u$ ?: q! }
Walk naked to the bathroom.8 Z# I$ Q; s* F- u; j- i
) E+ S3 N: }# k3 z& Q) f! p0 R
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " [- q& h8 ?, I8 {
# l! u" [6 {5 w) C9 ~Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
1 {' s2 I$ g$ L2 f
/ X7 K1 c6 Y( q4 [$ S# yAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ b9 j |% [( j- l
# Q! a. p: n9 [: q+ M* v& f0 o
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. , T6 e& g/ T ~4 A v2 W9 \
, c6 v. q/ F- [5 Q( f
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
# a. f. I! q9 ^! ~6 m% p
u; C6 l0 S/ @6 OFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
/ R- O6 q# S' T. u* i
1 A a& ~' k# x# o1 HSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 4 R0 E& M: V# i- }
+ M* p5 m( ^5 W# s8 UWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
! y2 V! E! z4 P9 J h
: G3 j, ^( X& @6 v0 q! oWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
8 ]5 Q4 f8 k# W( Q7 H: v" I- ^& u& ?& ?- H
Pee. 2 H8 O3 t2 f& ?
, _% K% D/ _2 l$ O$ J
Rinse off and get out of shower. : k- p1 O7 B4 E0 K
2 t8 r2 h" X0 s2 `6 S2 z/ ~Partially dry off.3 m0 Z/ d, @- u X* e( G5 e
8 @; R$ P; D+ o% }, P* L6 X5 x
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ?; ]" r- E4 u3 V( i
$ `1 t2 v# R# K5 C- h- t7 a% o8 ^
Admire wiener size in mirror again. : K2 O2 ?2 L7 }/ r. k
$ p; f( w3 d# C3 J* k
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. + m8 k! X! u5 Z* \
% J9 b7 |4 ?$ v# S
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
9 y+ C: Y* V0 Q( r+ e* i! D& D- P! t" Z( i
Throw wet towel on bed. & c% a. V M( ^5 m( i2 v
: [ C5 z; e7 t( o# e" J$ O( S) V
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|