 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : m/ K3 [+ J4 w' r" v
6 N! o6 l; G r# Q! ?* F
' a }4 X. [/ U! ]/ R0 U
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 f8 Z6 [0 o! k
, }, N: k8 [# M/ U" N/ u/ ]) _
: P% _+ \3 K; _3 m: [! V# o % a* p- \1 _0 y) P3 }
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
" f3 o' P( x: v" u
6 z. j' x% d& ~. ]$ t. mWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
) {/ Z" J# p! k% t$ o! }* Y& _7 ?( s o9 Y
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 w2 Q, {" B1 j
/ K) x* ]: K7 F
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! t) H* _& S* o! i1 F3 g2 e! L* umake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
1 s9 h4 ?# P( F! A. K' ]& J7 e- ]5 h$ L
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
1 S( ?/ P8 w, p
" z, v" y/ g0 b$ \Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. & z3 Y1 [% u5 _ B$ I
: B/ Q& T5 J2 _( [Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 M' Q* n8 M" B" t9 C+ F, E& X
6 C/ d* D3 {0 `" f% Q# ?Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
" O% V, U6 b q+ n+ f/ Z- J: |; {9 ? Y2 P/ z) f
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 4 t: i- q+ u5 t
+ a7 v6 Y( u6 o9 R2 U7 M
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
$ q' a- J% I+ ~. }0 S, O. ~8 d& l8 }8 K' P' L
Rinse conditioner off hair.
$ }7 O0 ]5 a6 r0 O6 ?" t
2 h; @% R! _: Y4 c) X+ TShave armpits and legs.
0 M1 J; Q6 v* M% I6 M d7 o
9 ^" @& @# X& e- y' L$ JTurn off shower.! @- z: ]2 Y2 q3 x8 T
+ R, I9 I, x1 O! Y
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
7 C* ]9 r+ o- P
R% {% N- l- \1 f8 XSpray mold spots with Tilex.
3 ~7 j$ r/ T+ L* u* N* n( m2 E$ }6 z& Y4 E) S! k8 @; e4 F) M8 \
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
9 P. k6 x# X9 C* M) C8 W w {3 P
4 V: c9 m9 ?3 |6 y2 v, AWrap hair in super absorbent towel. - ^' m. S+ W( ^ \" `( s
* e$ d/ b& y+ e% S
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
% J# v- }! V$ i2 b* _# o/ e% G& B% x2 R9 W5 g
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + f/ W" c" s" l
( \/ E- ~, x, o1 D( J/ U
5 q# b3 F8 T/ S) ]& \8 q
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % O& Z$ ~" Q3 O/ ^" O4 G- ~5 u/ J
9 J* _/ b" l& e5 v1 r+ D+ ^' `, \Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - y* S- ~( U( K" o
6 j8 i: X- q9 f+ _' d
Walk naked to the bathroom.
: f0 p5 A/ o2 J( l, n3 k2 |* p6 s" W
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 U8 R+ t( `- G q/ [6 }! ]* N
8 _2 m( l2 G0 h4 I# n( cLook at your manly physique in the mirror. # x" i; `7 q' T
& d* F j" g* @: ?2 T
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
0 x) r+ s5 |2 U, S( \! U ]' n6 D7 n
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! I% u% t, O9 o; d
) \4 Z" u! P2 |+ a7 }Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. " ~. P, P7 ^ Q; |7 c* V% s# a
7 g3 ^% H9 p- B& I% tFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ) ?1 [4 O4 H$ ^" M* ]/ x
2 r, u8 F; }6 H, _( T, z9 g. O
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , L* {" f/ ^- k7 g
1 ^' s5 J) J' AWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
8 A- \+ z6 o( _2 `4 S
* |1 b% B8 D7 p0 I2 v- pWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
6 w! y1 e1 R+ s
% s& W4 k. K6 p1 r! h: }2 y: L4 \& J$ cPee.
+ O% x4 U1 o8 G+ Y7 O& _% c/ k
# `5 @, k; b) D: q% d+ l1 C# ^Rinse off and get out of shower.
+ f. W2 c/ {6 X5 t" K
( ]% V, B: v5 I/ N/ [# p6 C) o* p) EPartially dry off. i8 m/ I) t' O8 q4 w$ J8 b' X
6 l/ s0 b: P$ Q$ P! hFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
, p0 L: X& G' Q$ n/ ?
0 y3 u. t6 x$ H) q: d z$ }Admire wiener size in mirror again. 4 r" z1 z" ?8 b- u2 k
: e5 _) ^4 D- \" K/ |9 a
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 8 c8 }! t) P; |0 `9 |) d' ~
* m# Z. D7 A3 ]6 ^- M: qReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
# J4 U1 O; _0 X
2 v, v8 D1 c5 M# sThrow wet towel on bed. & A6 Z8 @& e2 {
3 [+ ^$ z4 P! I. wIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|