 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 f4 f+ ^% l, ^5 [+ Z
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( A4 j; v+ F* L8 {
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.9 l/ v' w. `) U4 d1 x) k
' D# j/ q9 _+ ]5 SLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ( i3 [( D. K3 u# f
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( F6 U/ F" A0 `7 m
0 Y( {' u& h* ^1 j% o- gGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 A: [+ a5 m5 O0 l
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 T- h1 z/ C2 H+ L2 k
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 [; n0 R& N) d! G+ `
. E* Q1 C6 J! E) k& E+ ~Rinse conditioner off hair.
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* o- Y: h& b1 M8 I s; O2 ?, kShave armpits and legs." W l3 Q( j. U4 b% K
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Turn off shower.1 H9 n0 ~6 C! F3 V0 ]3 F
; X! \$ O% i; W3 cSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.7 v5 o8 M$ o9 Y+ `: [
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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. Z& h" {4 j2 KGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. . X. l P/ G a, A
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 7 e/ V2 {3 }6 K: ?
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. / i" R5 A" x/ c0 g R6 c
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ! S! [ x v0 Y! I
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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4 L6 c; b& m7 ?0 E$ M' o8 ~. C& J9 ?5 @If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 6 N8 \8 z# T. t; y( U
! C3 ^, Y% ]% f- _# \, D: _ @( ILook at your manly physique in the mirror. 3 _5 E9 ^5 M/ D
8 w v/ c% H2 j" x% F0 MAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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4 \6 F7 o7 a( }& }5 ]Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. / m: w2 J( J3 z; x: [$ }) B
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. - G# G0 ^/ a# { Z
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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2 Y- V2 _+ {! I& M" @5 a' }( |Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. $ a& I7 Y i( f( b' ]. e
) B9 E! k$ A5 K* SWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 7 r3 W* c# ]- K2 @& F. W( }
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ' t- J/ y7 C1 d; G$ R' E
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Pee. 8 C( }: Q6 P J, F
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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3 q- C* R- C. z1 G/ X ]& A. I7 d. ^Partially dry off.
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/ u$ {/ Y2 _. B( M7 V, f* A: z9 EFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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4 s1 k B, ^8 }# qAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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0 R! h) Z) J+ m' FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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