 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- U; t5 t4 w* x$ y' p/ U5 L
. W1 L6 V- N9 V D+ i9 \6 b; IWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , q6 I. K( n. `& G7 d9 {2 |
# K& \8 l/ J zIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.8 A+ X0 Q# v6 C# O8 z
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 g0 J4 o. _5 i# S8 fmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 ?# M/ `/ _6 i5 }
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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( Q. c7 M" C( q; HWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 n; P$ ~* f8 W# I' l4 U
2 p, ^2 c8 c/ n4 B( kWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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+ f5 U4 u& |7 U3 a, O3 aWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 p! `; E* N' y6 W3 x
% M$ @/ X- h$ H7 C |5 N# k8 WWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / b# P5 U% F' g# F
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Rinse conditioner off hair.( ^/ F1 f4 B% ]; `; M, ~
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Shave armpits and legs.3 c' m# q9 \/ l+ W0 n4 @7 `
! q8 |2 V/ K9 t& UTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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. K3 S; |& K$ M' hSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 L4 @4 p( n3 Z" i& ]/ Z( C# y
' V: B% ?8 o$ p; I: T" e# LWrap hair in super absorbent towel. . ~* a# X: {& ~! I0 h, O) j
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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* n8 G: F' d1 V* ]HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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# |" k+ d @0 o( f& c) t4 w$ DTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. " v8 z$ }$ C0 w
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Walk naked to the bathroom.! {* u4 C' \' O6 t4 Q/ N; x% s
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 5 H4 y% \$ @3 F0 x5 {( m8 U% u9 d
7 I3 S5 j9 c! e) I+ QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. * S$ _* g1 ?; R% T$ C3 m! s: q0 M
! c3 j( s, o/ e3 g$ a" hBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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, b! N; R6 S* R% _' AFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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* b' n2 [9 o8 l) i4 @( }Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , Q+ d; w9 Y* b* p7 K- z/ M
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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7 h9 Y$ r2 x2 a1 @( _6 L6 oWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ; d x7 y) [ v; k! a0 \
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Pee.
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# T# o- o* H9 f7 z4 S4 A* NRinse off and get out of shower. # {* A" c6 S) K/ k9 v9 D& P
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Partially dry off.3 z& G! \# f1 |2 e( b
7 f3 m* M* W7 e6 c' \Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 5 S8 P, c2 u; Y* R4 e* p$ V; J. h6 m. [
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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2 E: m6 }5 s6 pThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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