 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 R! n- C( [% R, M D& x4 b
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5 P e; |5 ^% rTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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$ w* ^1 R W/ ?% E# Y1 l- ^Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3 H. l8 I0 b- W8 ~: c3 U
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.8 p4 F5 y/ `+ U2 B
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
- ]5 q* K2 g: V/ D4 a, z; Amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 o! E N: Z5 p1 t$ m
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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/ p2 J9 X- T8 R* s! n- z# DWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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. [8 L" J5 S' r; W$ _Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..! R. F% P; O" N/ B
0 V0 e" w: w k5 O7 ^Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. : u9 ~$ K' u, B9 \0 B, S
. f* w- w3 u1 {9 V' EWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9 }3 F% E+ s. ]9 t* L6 z5 ?
4 w# v J( `3 I6 g& \Rinse conditioner off hair.+ ~7 P* r- \& {, m7 n8 l* ^3 @ g
7 J2 P; z9 x: H, w9 J: pShave armpits and legs.. W7 e) o& O6 A, O' f
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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4 e' j) E4 E% l) x4 oGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : L2 K/ b" J+ b$ T/ m: l& K5 c: ~
7 g: o! B$ E5 P7 _7 A/ G- ?* D/ aWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 o1 W0 O% o% x4 }1 e; W- k
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' h% a5 r' h" t" A# V0 R
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ! w, ^/ D3 ? p4 U) H
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.3 ^) j, H7 N, T
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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# e& }5 |9 e5 h/ c7 k. ^Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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. D! T2 x( A! ]6 d! J& I) z# z7 {, QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ' P- Q5 X! b& M4 g& D1 e
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 6 p$ m5 O$ t, r
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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' i7 d' F/ _$ }+ DSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. / R- Y% ?7 }% }
. E" Y1 Y. S9 ^. c) |Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 M8 k5 k, M1 n& F1 F+ t: c
+ E: I3 y" n9 N& zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 j& H$ n; Z& m( _" ^ V$ k' A* R9 w
% x* E6 [/ L* ~# dPee. 2 m+ o2 t& d- Q, Q# [# t
+ J F+ ^: I( b/ t) F2 kRinse off and get out of shower. ) c0 F3 h+ |. `8 W# Y! W
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Partially dry off.0 g! L( {, }1 d7 m+ v
2 N1 p7 B# A0 iFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ! P c @/ a- | k5 r) f- G
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " R( N5 P% n% U2 u$ l. F
4 F# k7 I, O7 ?& q9 `4 VReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. : ~. O" d2 p* X/ n) q
" {* N4 A3 x* lThrow wet towel on bed. 4 \; E6 L. L' Z' L* j# y
* \8 h+ i( \( A% [5 r7 lIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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