 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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- T) L9 t; d& i7 r! WTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.9 b7 j( ~- [9 l+ e# u& m
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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/ f# Y6 w8 {9 A( z% @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 0 `2 G) i/ c K5 D c# {
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 i I, i u+ q
0 ^2 h5 W, ~& A* x5 uGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 q4 q7 K3 `" H! v$ i
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- G0 O6 J, `- V, N9 K* q) M
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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, w, C& r: Z7 `9 PWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * {' \7 {1 N* ^5 C/ ^
. r7 O6 Z- J1 \* B1 K( jRinse conditioner off hair.
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( E4 [0 H; V3 NShave armpits and legs." M$ S! C% f* E& d) |9 J
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Turn off shower.1 u& T- }" c* w" t, J
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.- Y/ l: H7 _# p1 S3 ?
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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3 R/ A2 y, L1 u5 H6 H% RWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 J6 z. X. I6 e7 x& M* Y ~
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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6 s8 k! t. |4 `- d* J1 [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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, h8 S1 Q6 u. P( [) h# `" |+ ?* p! RWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) q; M6 G$ M; m
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 x, H: I0 c: s. Q& {& o( Z3 p
) n2 V8 F$ s) ~0 c+ v7 qGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! L8 w' s, [# Y% A" u
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 2 z+ p: ?' x1 a, J# ?) d: x3 I
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; t1 j3 C }2 y; C5 ]
6 l- o" a1 Q! s& f7 ASpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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6 N+ k# c- E- `- eWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 H6 w" Z8 T, {5 D
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! l' [% X$ y) F" `; S# n" h
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7 J3 X+ ^& G: D% I* wRinse off and get out of shower. ; S+ t& u: h( y/ z
2 `) R5 B6 ~! |9 ^/ J8 YPartially dry off.
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9 }" _ v/ F+ z" nFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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- B% L- r- [: HAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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/ p9 [" W. ~2 x6 }! |If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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