Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

sweetspot

LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
> > > >
, @2 H, u+ B+ m% S2 x4 p> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
: `$ s+ O. Z5 z( L: o> > > >little TONY.
  i- ^* C6 G/ k2 \2 Q> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
: {8 Z4 m# b( s% v0 i" Y) R> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
" {  [2 D: l: E- D0 m# T> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
$ n" ~0 W& _. c> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
9 K  K, p1 c0 r! e$ M, ?> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
9 Z: H) b3 O! ]  k> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
# a6 {" h) n" B> > > >
> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
, z  J. I" G5 ?6 F: s5 h% T$ Q; t> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
- E, m( I3 `' M+ [+ j> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
0 d5 @5 {* j7 `4 y> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
; ^/ f8 |& h( J5 q2 a+ J, Z5 H5 ?> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
# }9 s! [" c2 U> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
3 v7 D7 q1 x4 I+ f) C. v& |> > > >
* r* j6 r6 C1 q, K* B. b8 q> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
. P6 _+ X9 r. D( s> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
; _- F6 M% n1 }# Y3 m/ _> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
2 [; _; {0 J  z1 h> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
! Y- E! D, \5 d- d! R; e( a& ]& j> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
* L& F" A7 p/ y0 Z7 t, L" C3 S> > > >
> > > >
+ O/ ^+ ?4 K$ j9 l2 T' U9 J! j! Y> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
+ R/ j4 h! M; y. c# q> > > >
# V2 `2 M  G& J> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
. _- \+ G3 J7 C: O> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
' j6 [. @3 V- N( V! w$ H6 X, b' K> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
, z% N3 y& b0 C> > > >allow
2 m' b7 K) S* i% S* v  Q> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
9 ?$ Y& `  I& K5 p/ h: o+ E2 o. k> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
) v1 Y3 _& _8 n7 U) ^> > > >
> > > >
2 j5 q+ u' ~$ t  h# F3 v> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
& \) G9 B  X5 ?" @- e# ?4 D> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
. o( l. @  h1 M% @' F, G> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
+ F$ O7 e" S* m" E> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
$ m, y2 _' S( U> > > >
> > > >
  P" y. n% X: G- A: D) e> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
3 {/ j2 B: ?# _; b. O/ ?' U> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
# U- {7 p& R# j' r2 @> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
3 K- E; n( E: L9 d% x+ {1 M> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business