 鲜花( 77)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Blonde Car Accident: u0 B U/ B1 Q: x
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
$ m) U& N2 Y1 ~* J: R. I6 i
% `+ G& k, h, s0 o/ v/ qThe truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
* w7 H4 \0 F d0 h8 a% y7 ^# {5 ~4 w8 \' G" A/ A v4 |2 R, n$ I
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.: Y& M; H6 {- ]0 B9 c; P9 a# F
3 x+ y: o9 N" r0 J" [
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
: u. @2 q! Z! T( ~# W1 m" `8 h* w" D) K6 V( x( `9 A
The blonde started laughing.! ]# R2 w x+ e, }! |8 Y
) c) d) }- a/ L! @% q
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
' W( i3 |; d5 D5 r+ j3 ?1 \9 x1 K+ c( N v- `! A2 C1 S
This time the blonde laughed even harder.$ ` @7 W" n @# h7 T6 V1 q
, R/ F4 K8 Q u/ F8 u) ~3 Q2 O! O; l- @
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
9 A, x% P6 |5 C. w( v8 a0 H8 D& {$ K) _5 K. S: ^5 [2 `% f! ?
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
' R& A) a( d5 }+ I, C, L- R+ X' D+ P3 [7 {! i
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
- B7 \$ r& F/ L# W P& D
! b$ g3 i3 ^: N0 X6 ~! _; hRowing Your Boat+ z3 f& {7 c) s1 S+ I
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.* a" M- \( G# ^ G6 j' T
0 k& _" n+ t# JThe driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
. e+ P5 j% f$ O9 ?7 X2 j+ O/ F" p! {
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
4 i% U$ T. E' M" r4 t
2 X5 v$ f& M3 v/ r5 DI Want to Buy That
7 r5 G- C' f! G# G6 w3 dA blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
% e* O [# e! g8 U' r3 ~. @6 b5 n+ c ~9 M8 ]7 P
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.) K2 n9 H* @1 d0 u5 C- J& }! b# z7 x
2 k$ a3 w# T6 d2 {+ y
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.2 F$ {1 x$ h' m
" ~3 l# d; l- J% q! ]+ Q
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
; I; {3 p- B y0 `! a; w( ^# g+ ?7 K/ ?
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
1 ^5 m/ {; q+ |, U" H2 ^( x) g5 y
- @3 r" ]4 ^! Z7 PTo her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.0 z+ O! O7 X9 f6 X/ C
, s7 \" I/ W( r+ h; g3 t# [ [+ KThe blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"( x, j0 f8 C" y9 @0 J9 ^
0 m; h% r- f8 Z; v+ _) QThe clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"* L3 Y4 |$ W8 b4 S4 N
% h5 z* ]2 U/ N! A! A8 @
Are You Really Sure?8 T6 j* a- \, r1 w0 q# p5 C( e- y
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"0 r7 O# t G: B
# q9 `1 A% x8 ^In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."4 p/ n( J# o; f! q& w2 i1 s
- N) r s! W& c2 VOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
3 q+ ]: X/ V3 F6 m5 C3 r! p, f
( U/ ~- `: ~7 e$ ^The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
- m8 P/ Y' j$ M$ Z) o
5 e m$ b: q: a' L3 e3 [7 s2 t1 zBlonde Sky Divers+ g" G9 B. J6 O' i6 g( J2 A
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
7 k# M* B& X. v1 j X* L, n: O: q+ v3 T4 l& s
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
5 ~7 h! M. `) \! U3 I$ U% ^& ~; h; E9 }- K) u( H
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
& M$ ?6 J1 ^0 r2 ^3 I
6 V5 V( c, d! r. T `7 R/ yThe blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?". `5 I0 P0 O5 ]4 d
* v' |. V4 M& x5 Y8 O[ 本帖最后由 Xbfeng 于 2008-10-7 13:31 编辑 ] |
|