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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?, s# O$ S5 W9 ~& e
( z& A3 H4 T1 m+ K! HLet's face it/ y9 F: S# w" Z6 C
English is a stupid language.
' |$ ]* E% b( p; E, `There is no egg in the eggplant
. P, K1 Z% _- U) p' j# ONo ham in the hamburger
$ D4 l# [1 p+ p8 x* a4 Q! tAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
2 |4 d d0 j" ]8 EEnglish muffins were not invented in England
2 b) U0 p6 x: @/ t( }: z6 }French fries were not invented in France.& Z$ B2 ~8 Y8 M" B' b8 K0 h7 X5 L
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We sometimes take English for granted
$ K3 c7 X4 ]. y) b; o6 [But if we examine its paradoxes we find that9 _! P6 f8 J; K3 `& [. c6 t
Quicksand takes you down slowly4 Q$ G y0 B! f( p: A" b/ F
Boxing rings are square
5 }. M7 C6 t M. o1 B( d1 aAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. / {& H$ g, C6 I; g- E' u3 W2 A
2 U( Y w/ A& \5 Q! q4 ?If writers write, how come fingers don't fing., N- Q( R8 [' D+ E
If the plural of tooth is teeth
- j: h% D4 t+ g' `; r/ |' n7 ^Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
4 i$ H1 U C- Z# G% I7 B5 XIf the teacher taught,
$ E' L8 i6 K( W7 C+ F7 T3 ^8 }Why didn't the preacher praught." F1 Y" \& _5 S8 h" w
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables. T l( u5 G% y/ |% E& Y
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
3 ?% [; c$ G8 L% @1 ] W* _Why do people recite at a play
+ X3 ^8 ?) I0 p: D( fYet play at a recital?$ `: v0 h6 c8 U4 n) ^
Park on driveways and$ |6 l; l, a, J9 f8 @ P
Drive on parkways$ P: ^: v1 M& [% f
S3 Q! Z( w" n0 E+ AYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
* R; M3 m9 R* lOf a language where a house can burn up as4 ]1 Q2 e0 C- E* n
It burns down
; L: x3 b, w$ GAnd in which you fill in a form ! S/ }; H8 K+ V/ [6 G& E
By filling it out/ f) d$ p1 q/ @$ y- ?
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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, y& H) \' }1 n1 s) p1 y3 y4 ?English was invented by people, not computers0 J3 [0 E2 |7 k5 a
And it reflects the creativity of the human race% _' f9 X0 {5 s' Z
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
( m0 Y" V. S& b' XWhen the stars are out they are visible/ g9 A2 O( u, ]) B9 ^- `' |
But when the lights are out they are invisible1 h3 E! N/ A2 s8 c, e$ Q1 l3 O" S, E! H3 b
And why it is that when I wind up my watch5 Q- B, N* E+ i, N
It starts, R+ ]( J( K7 v
But when I wind up this observation,
* Y! f1 v. Y7 q" H- \( bIt ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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