 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol% \# t' Z2 ~( ?
8 |- Y+ P& o" j( v0 p4 s$ o; ?5 k+ }9 ~" H/ s9 R1 |
, ?7 u6 R+ U4 Y' n. w7 w6 _2 QThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:$ R: i. g2 P2 {2 m( r Y2 A- ^
7 c5 ]4 e `( r
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
$ X- Q) _5 k1 \, a* u
& H* n! l; k: W5 W5 i6 B) p& @
' F' `5 c3 p# M; {; Q5 h8 ^( h2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
% @( h& U" w6 V" J" {" E/ W1 x6 K" M; m$ C( m+ C& V+ R
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
! v. F7 q7 h4 l9 P. \+ |
k1 r5 S6 K' L* \8 a% X2 {/ p4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
! `0 U8 b7 }4 M. |* s1 s4 {/ F! E* d' R1 d3 m% A, R
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.9 A& p5 p5 m5 `' {- L6 ^
9 p4 G( L4 H5 n! L$ D% j& o1 q, a) |( {- g
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area$ Z: C/ I% j; e
$ _; ? q# I* D! g+ b% w3 H7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
5 J9 n7 c" _4 `* K5 B% G; R' b& ?- F3 d3 C0 U0 Z) O
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
% h$ n& Y; c. ~9 \& X6 `! y/ P2 l'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
2 r, i( r3 q9 M: @! E" u5 E3 D5 V
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
! J, {: W8 d3 {4 Y9 u; i6 y9 H6 f5 ^+ e" D; b) h# p
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
/ J8 H1 {0 u" V4 y+ s
& d( ^. c5 z! a11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
) k* X+ O8 v4 Z. C# F0 j8 C) ^! A5 h# ?3 Z w) m- V& U
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
' i8 G& @2 m% g' k
* r+ V5 B2 z# D: d, d, v6 G1 w13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
4 [( V& S" \$ M6 U. F$ v
. F/ L6 t* u, u14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
1 T% H( M _! b6 c# h) ^9 U; o T( d% n; z' ^6 R3 V! Q! L; M% k
And; last, but not least!)! E! W8 X, r1 V' ~" T
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
