 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol2 T; ]/ O1 H' j* {8 l
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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2 Y! q# p# e1 v* P1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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& K! H7 ]6 A f5 e, @; p3 M3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.+ B/ L0 }. c3 o- Q. R# _( G
" J u C+ C3 m0 {4 ^1 |4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.' P% d+ D! G( Z* ^9 m. o( }7 T
2 I2 ~- W. [0 i6 Y7 J; r6 u3 j5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.8 S" \5 W6 b% K2 i, T+ `
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1 S& T% j1 p% e/ y O) Y$ c6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area5 [ f/ d* m4 n
" I! I$ Y& Z8 Z, Z+ H7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.$ I+ D( w. W; |3 N d$ @' d8 k* F
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask( _" n1 p+ c, @" q8 y4 \5 _
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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+ v) }0 I. {8 f/ R) M9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.2 ~/ a) q( p$ N* e
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.3 X$ ~5 F2 u6 I$ ^* p; C8 h7 c- T: a
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!; j4 b+ S! T7 K+ G; K: T9 u
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!# C- `' S, W* i7 C2 ^9 c) b, \. d' b
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# T x1 P3 V% `( h; R% l15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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