 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.; O& f; |9 K& c* l8 l; }: K
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.& I! W* n+ t0 c" X
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.4 e+ O/ `) K$ d$ x+ L, X
$ w* i. M" g V! P$ J. f/ S5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.7 E8 y+ Z' I3 i6 ~1 G
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- |0 i, W: C6 S# b8 b3 ]' N/ E# j6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area" e" G, p5 X6 P
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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+ ?, ?: b/ i; ^$ `* z) h- Z8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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?3 J* F5 ]: x; U& _9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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( \. L6 L' C' W: C! d3 o9 {/ a6 A" H10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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( f+ ^6 u/ E; ~* d% t! d2 {( B11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.3 H% b* p9 `# [- y
A2 o+ M, Y5 }0 V- X0 A12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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: ?' Q! z& w( h' d13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! C( ~# f& [ m& r
3 k7 G( M k: OAnd; last, but not least!)
9 S/ R2 }# l4 H8 B& x15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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