 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol% \# t' Z2 ~( ?
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, ?7 u6 R+ U4 Y' n. w7 w6 _2 QThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:$ R: i. g2 P2 {2 m( r Y2 A- ^
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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' F' `5 c3 p# M; {; Q5 h8 ^( h2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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k1 r5 S6 K' L* \8 a% X2 {/ p4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.9 A& p5 p5 m5 `' {- L6 ^
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area$ Z: C/ I% j; e
$ _; ? q# I* D! g+ b% w3 H7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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& d( ^. c5 z! a11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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* r+ V5 B2 z# D: d, d, v6 G1 w13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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. F/ L6 t* u, u14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)! E! W8 X, r1 V' ~" T
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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