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5 N3 _: G, ]0 r2 G4 K3 C% ]Crazy English!; m. ]7 B7 P# x. L! i+ s
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.! O- V. S# W+ D( e# {2 v8 h
9 m6 y6 Z3 x# Q! D! X( C6 fOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.. L9 y- i" ^5 `% c/ P" q- C2 z
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.1 r1 r, f N0 g1 f6 } ^& W. k
1 V) E0 Z$ n2 i/ N1 K# ~If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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; V' \6 I3 Z! F f4 y$ v6 AIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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( r* t8 d* y1 ^6 hThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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) A" @! i% o( RWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.5 N* X$ ^& {9 r9 t1 a
: z2 O8 j5 k; gLet's face it, English is a crazy language!9 e# k4 \6 K4 h, @4 y5 S+ i5 k
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.+ W7 r. s9 H) R: r( E3 w! ?
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?" W! ^; p' y, Q0 M
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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6 u! Z- o) A! D: ?& Y5 ~& h, MIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?- a& Q" i5 j" l* h d
& J, V0 v+ z, x: ZIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?6 U& T; v4 v. A! R4 t, P7 J
0 _) x* z, |. Z0 x% n! c/ @# yShip by truck and send cargo by ship?& w4 z2 o- W1 n, m( f& z
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your* X! I: f0 o1 Q) Y8 n- u
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!) A8 u: O1 ?; \0 ~
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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