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Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.9 i& c) @) S m, j+ Y5 R# O8 P# |' U2 f, Z
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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; t' p$ l+ k4 I5 M2 J9 j3 M" K$ ]You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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I$ l' c2 g" ~If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?, D; E2 Q5 x2 H9 |
3 C% I, N( E7 g* e' C4 x% VIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?- R# W8 z% o- W) J. `6 V% g! G: }
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?. R9 Q; q, D7 Q, \" H. R5 `& r% D
0 }. X- u9 U$ Z- n* `" O* v1 PThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.2 }) j" q3 d n9 I- [3 {
/ f: [( k! h6 W* c: sWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.9 `+ j" [& x' _, x7 `; C
; S2 m" f4 {& W* @" }Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.( ^! }2 R" e, }
. Y, _0 R; u. @$ y5 }( A- n' F- f3 PLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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" T9 |, a* D6 IThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England." s: r, R6 o; Q% c8 b0 J1 y4 Y
; {6 n' g# O0 gAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?6 N& |( n/ H/ O" J" s& m% R
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?9 f. f' _- ~, w/ ]' _
* X4 a8 X" |" e7 J/ B/ yIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?6 L0 u0 g5 w1 ~1 K% G
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?: g, X5 S. U! w' l
" P0 X9 w4 J) o! x+ Y3 e$ g) c3 YShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?% ~5 M9 d2 G" c. L. L
& q, N! |; f3 n* GYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
" N( ^) p7 ]2 e( @8 SHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!& l; E& |4 ~; m" o3 @1 g: `) d' T
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55
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