Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT
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" T. j9 M3 R# Y4 i( xCrazy English!
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+ `( l+ s& d2 F! g" g& o% R) DWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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& P& U4 D3 C1 n5 \% c9 J9 N2 i6 IThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

# h; a" |* y" p# b" V5 |0 C$ aLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

7 Y% p& j8 q8 k8 V8 hThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

- V% q- j/ W4 p# O9 w' `7 ?$ qAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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% T& y& z, P. P  a6 h0 iDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

! n- V" V& t- W  S- s1 ~If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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6 `" C' P! P# I$ Y" ^9 f! b, c8 uIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

$ Q- E, s. }2 n/ x2 {5 UShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

! _! ~# q- N) QHave noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane