 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
$ y; |1 M1 B4 `# LMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma . p( U# k% W% u( E: }: t: ? c. j
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
% G6 }& I8 e: k( G' T% \
7 B: \7 D, n g, ~: x
2 a3 {; F% D; }JOB DESCRIPTION:2 z0 S7 f q( C! l0 \- y& `
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
( E0 n. e0 s* F# E M; j: X( {2 h1 x( h& a
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 ~2 c2 ? W* ~! }; S0 wCandidates must possess excellent communication 7 g% H2 Z! ~% Y! b9 C: ^0 t3 k
and organizational skills and be willing to work ; k- T% L: V) z7 k, j. k
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends + V. Z& d. j+ a5 Y
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. * y k# O/ K2 R+ A/ X! [9 B6 g; }2 v# Z [
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 9 g* G- Y# q3 t9 P6 b
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 W W3 j1 ^- K; ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ ]( q/ \/ y( H) o. R; f2 lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
2 Y7 L; A' R! J8 u2 Z6 MExtensive courier duties also required. : R k p" z) r4 X6 g
. ?# d7 y7 Q) V& dRESPONSIBILITIES:+ W2 {9 ]" c" H& d/ a# P* p
The rest of your life.
; o9 f& M8 K x7 g2 rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, # z2 p% r7 m* Z: l& S. E
until someone needs $5. ; N; ]/ ^+ f+ s7 E0 u$ P1 N
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. . n8 r$ V. ]" f' t J
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- E2 p8 C" L6 A! n% V3 Z4 l9 Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ; g3 h9 ]8 }! W0 ^! h
in case, this time, the screams from 2 F( S% v1 `5 x, U( z
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 8 t/ n; X7 E2 n# b" U
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ]7 r- A# k4 I* M+ O5 D) U
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 6 z4 r- R! `1 N! c: y, _
and stuck zippers. 0 o& t) t7 q, f; ^
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and $ S# V' S! ~( K
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 0 q9 D0 b [, b6 L' i$ q& }
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& Z( J/ U+ v0 Y( ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, + u, L# S4 B3 L/ L f h/ g) e
an embarrassment the next. 9 D# H1 f( u9 T
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 X# h: G. W5 ?0 B0 Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ F3 a5 S: S( Y' m. E' q7 ^- N1 fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, a/ `; {; T j: x# E. O/ M4 {Must assume final, complete accountability for 5 Q8 J' G( h0 `2 ~9 h- R$ Z
the quality of the end product.
1 R$ \& E" i# |/ BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 3 B: R$ @9 g/ r3 _2 r2 x/ P/ ?5 f
janitorial work throughout the facility.
m( y/ I, ~& N) Y. A3 F' U
/ n$ T& g: } J& k4 P$ bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:* {7 g, t. O( l6 @+ d
None.
2 | `0 X, `1 q$ c# MYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 4 `$ b: Z1 A- f5 h
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: r6 E, [: \: _. D% k; Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 Q1 O+ ]- Y0 i" y- X2 t u) h vcan ultimately surpass you.8 G! h6 o* Z" x$ u6 P5 r' g
8 v- ~% j: z; ~7 P7 Z7 Y* Y% E
2 B! H, N5 A2 o4 V" cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
C4 Q/ @) _/ u, j1 k7 d/ oNone required, unfortunately.
. ]# G' A* x1 Y5 L& ]7 S% gOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; d/ X7 N% Q0 z; {, C( Z# @( n2 m. P! s ]
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: . z* D6 E7 D% J1 Q- T
Get this! You pay them! 0 @' P* v5 x$ k& |" B# ?
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. . S1 \ z5 [" s! F, ]& U
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 2 p4 R2 N/ N. S. v" k
of the assumption that college will help them ( v% ~" M& y r0 y: q5 p" @
become financially independent. 3 s0 _4 L* E% J1 c4 I+ k* u
When you die, you give them whatever is left. , Y K' _) a/ ~% i" ]0 g
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ! |: o, V, [3 A0 P8 l/ U
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 3 x! h. y, ~) G% Y9 I% K
5 i6 u' f; m; NBENEFITS: 4 x, _' }( g) i: P9 O$ [' a. I' F6 c5 E
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, $ v2 y9 Z4 c g' Q0 _5 P
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and / Y0 J% J$ w' A2 x% n6 r& \7 P$ j
no stock options are offered,- }) y6 a# p _4 a8 V/ p! @- R7 {
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 k8 i, l9 W6 E- S/ ^
% f V. w/ _ d, x) a ?+ F8 s7 O6 Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ r: q4 u% V$ l0 h) }" v/ l
+ Y; A' D/ b6 q* e$ I, [
for life if you play your cards right.
8 ?% f# F; M8 ^. f$ d
5 A1 j% F) N- J- X" Z ! n% K$ f" S% E5 z
9 n4 P8 _# h2 \( M/ ^- E
3 M- p. O" Q/ D& j0 }" |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **+ g2 b7 v1 X8 w5 m& A
) X6 J ~/ T: A- ?* L( X- g
6 n2 Z8 c( Y, |: e& k, c
, H, N& }2 \, wForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. { w9 G2 S9 `7 f- \$ Pletting them know they are appreciated / c4 I' F8 J' X: T L7 Q* }0 _3 k
for the fabulous job they do...
! _+ {* d( \# @- |or forward with love
2 e& P1 D3 U& S- |8 E! ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.9 z0 d3 K. v/ D% K. n
; x2 _0 K5 M' C) z8 ^
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
