Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% z  O; A+ d% N% b) q' S; jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ p# e8 \, x2 NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
( P) P8 ~, C$ ~5 C0 V& Q  M
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
  c, w1 G) j6 ^& a$ GLong term, team players needed for challenging,

+ ~8 `# ^/ N4 c0 s+ J; spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 Y* k" p9 D( I" v+ a0 kand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ P) |7 E  \& V) C' Y% _Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ z: W* K3 Z" i2 X: g& y' iThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
; K6 m1 T7 t/ c" _* ?- PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- [& N9 ~' k  t7 yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, x  x* a0 g/ Z; b6 sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 E' k3 u1 a+ ~0 j5 C$ p$ Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' j# ]! p2 W0 `% H5 U! ?+ m8 ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ M$ ^6 D1 `% Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. o6 Q5 ~  Y4 @* E* y$ |1 Rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 M+ Z' _5 B* ?9 P6 u) t7 s9 u/ AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 [- |  E; ?) c! X8 ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! _  M4 p  q4 E7 U! SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 o8 e) j: Q+ W- L5 C3 T/ Mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 m5 `2 S: a& ~2 k% XMust assume final, complete accountability for
: W5 ]. Y% e" E0 l% I7 qthe quality of the end product.
8 n% T* _/ {' o' S4 h. C* d* cResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- B1 r1 v; t, T) PNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
7 A% Y! @1 C0 XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
9 h5 v. s: X  s  @6 G# v. i
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 w0 N$ C* Y- T* l3 ?Get this! You pay them!
! A& M% x6 b; @Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
* V5 y- ^' ?6 }become financially independent.
$ z  A$ w( P: I8 L' p/ M' T! y0 uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# T% h( _2 ~5 D$ F1 x% B* XThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
* G( A% H, ~& f/ l1 {+ h8 `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ d& O- D' {. V7 S: Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! Y. {" c: [. J) b- @1 [
" U, ~" t) p7 ]: x7 w5 {4 _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 P# P: g, C/ y' K: ?
for life if you play your cards right.
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) F# U  v8 U( Q7 S# W
7 m& _2 }, T+ R" X5 Z/ [% i0 y
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
" Z6 d- [" _; h0 e0 W

/ Y) L# c# j. |! h8 A
+ _' T" N: J7 z1 h; RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 i( y# a( ?3 U$ e0 W( kletting them know they are appreciated
+ x8 l6 ~: `. C& U  l& N$ Qfor the fabulous job they do...
: O# I/ n2 Q, ?, Z7 B; W- c. [or forward with love
% G  G7 U4 O% \/ A- Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

& M1 s3 q8 `" a

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.