Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 q' ^8 T5 A. {8 R3 I% WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
, d1 L* Z9 x& B- S5 r' A4 L% tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
2 \( ~( _& Y9 D  n
9 i. t' Z! M* c9 _! {; ?( g5 Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' L3 ~9 C% T7 ^! d& H; [Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 w9 s, V9 {1 j. r8 fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
- l! R8 T; U& v! @4 }2 a5 ?- Hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 }2 Z: o% Y2 ~1 eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! Y' ~- U" a) J" MExtensive courier duties also required.
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4 {- W8 P8 k, O0 M/ |RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 N! t  I- f  R, r0 g( c5 i% e5 ~) `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 P, E' x( }2 oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# m2 s- D' I5 o! Pin case, this time, the screams from
0 m* t9 s( C4 o& S2 ]) m' G3 Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' j( C9 p. e, {and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# s2 i: \* w5 |9 jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 `) S+ Q2 p2 U9 K$ _Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ q! e3 P6 X) J& s8 p& uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 s% i. W; h) Y7 y3 _Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 ^6 m& ~2 `( eMust assume final, complete accountability for
% \: h5 B" ^( z# N# c4 pthe quality of the end product.
2 L4 m% ]( h. z+ N( h7 k% cResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 l: F( B/ p) O% V+ Z+ C8 Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ d, ~  t4 ~8 [3 e) k. ?2 pNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. A  a$ F/ ?/ N2 M1 z2 R1 x# oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 U$ L( {2 S6 D% qcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
" ~6 Z* b" F- G, I6 o  B4 SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 g; `( l# P% e% B! YWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* O! G9 G) v. m& v( rGet this! You pay them!
7 O$ K7 h+ D) p6 hOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ ^& F1 q, c) z8 P  @of the assumption that college will help them
# O. O* V' {, n/ X0 H1 m7 V& Fbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" B/ a% T: i) d* j3 u3 Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" p# P6 N6 c2 e, U: GBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- P5 v; h' H* Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# b# ~, j; K- f, V. \; {& ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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6 I( {8 s% G6 A: o' h# m4 O( O- R* ?" E
6 y5 C$ M: F( I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



( [4 @) t! D3 yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* M$ o$ Z# v) I! L% H% @2 P: y' X0 Eor forward with love
9 G, \! ]3 D+ ~/ m+ O2 e- z* P5 ~$ Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.