Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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4 _8 z+ C/ y) B! H; jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ V& ~2 x9 {7 a- g  V+ KCandidates must possess excellent communication
! W# ?4 P7 Z. G+ Y5 L, Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) e0 _. U( {. l5 @! u0 Y6 ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. L8 d- S" i" [- ^( ~  W' _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 ?7 }$ _+ b6 \) j# o, o# iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 s+ @* T; x, CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 \6 V2 g* n+ Y$ ]5 n$ QAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ E5 Q# M  R' W5 [0 B0 b" Z( Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 @+ Q! h  {- ?, aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# V1 u4 a. e. ?an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; L% p& u( p) I; ]% m$ t5 ~janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- z3 Z$ `5 c( ]1 w( IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 Z) q7 W+ e8 ?" D! j1 ZYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: b9 ^& @/ F( v  C' Qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' m  O7 }/ N" F, P* ]" |* X; |can ultimately surpass you.

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! l6 q4 a# y5 m# y' EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; C1 c. C# Q" _4 @5 K# P& Q  l& n/ B1 eWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; T, b! g6 F" L' K+ n0 ^. O. {4 m( Rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 a' m, ~  H- `8 [& CBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ R1 H2 L" i+ e! [# h' h+ \6 ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, p$ I0 K, y- g9 O+ L5 mno stock options are offered,
0 [& M8 g9 [( x0 ~7 X3 p3 [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 O' w) i; y9 R9 a! ~  U8 z7 I
" W9 u+ r: C4 r7 l' Y1 _( y: C+ tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! q$ o& E% j; v. H. _  hletting them know they are appreciated
% c; @8 o1 S0 J! R9 Gfor the fabulous job they do...
; S2 m  L, Z6 A& A+ `0 eor forward with love
3 A' V6 K- {* L) `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.