Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 j8 Q7 ]% _! ?  M) r* X/ A& rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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, }  e1 W0 u) h3 i$ ]JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ v! V% _5 O, E1 M: K3 SLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 D' k7 ]5 N* _, n* \Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 Y- K! g+ t& D( `# Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' S9 \2 i  O! Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 C5 w; y% ?* ~0 G4 Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. B% Y0 t& V, j5 H: Z% k: k3 JTravel expenses not reimbursed.
. T& h) x- }8 i* x5 i' @" NExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 ?: k4 Z1 Q" V" \' h& `0 VThe rest of your life.
$ J$ @0 x1 V* LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% I# m0 P: l  V" O& ^2 E/ e+ funtil someone needs $5.
' T! n$ y* r9 l8 D" Y: ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 n. i1 P- f3 C( |- L# {# Hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) b4 Y) G3 w* \. O/ |1 {- Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" r7 ?- L- R6 j; c8 aMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ I5 L: u  x/ SMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 j, M: o" e# K* L8 Q) o7 G( J- ^an embarrassment the next.
& a( Z! E0 d2 p7 pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& l3 h/ C& \" H  k0 OMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& X# ^9 E$ y, K# N, \, rMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 A# d" y6 w3 P4 q: ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. t- ]" G( Q7 O' Y* tNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 |+ W7 X9 A; D2 xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 D4 s1 F7 V6 N, `7 _/ X* jcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- U  c' [5 Y6 ?+ s) Y, b, K& yNone required, unfortunately.
3 n& ?& F) t& l+ o2 E. pOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; U" h+ k3 M" XGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) x( n; {- S- y6 D7 }* N5 p2 i9 Sof the assumption that college will help them
* g& q% \+ k0 c2 r! t0 B" e+ Fbecome financially independent.
- a1 V2 p* G/ j+ y8 S2 TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ f$ z2 v, ^. C0 eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: e& V3 D/ y3 {: j' a. M! Vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ g& m& \* y6 v. P( N5 n( VBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 c' C1 H0 m4 d1 ]- cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" D; L1 e2 F2 R1 \2 Q2 v; J2 {no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.


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5 E  g) i: s) X0 q) e8 A** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; ]) B  M' j9 Z) J: l) i8 G2 jor forward with love
: n7 P# a; F  t4 i2 oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.