Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 t& W/ Z) [( x+ a& NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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9 t3 o" i) A& \4 a# y. [; ?JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 ^) t) I; a/ O% A9 |Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 i8 p# V2 e; ~8 r% uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# E4 V. G- F" K( j0 {( l, y2 P0 S6 BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
4 J, {* U/ E! f! eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) Q2 G4 e, M( I6 hTravel expenses not reimbursed.
2 b' ^) V' M0 KExtensive courier duties also required.

% L- F! t; B2 @/ ~% h2 [3 B- n! ]RESPONSIBILITIES:
& D( L0 Q2 Q6 g9 lThe rest of your life.
% W* l5 N4 j' ?, ~# u5 aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' W' T0 w5 P8 l) Yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 ]2 h2 r2 ?" @4 W$ g) {7 q) BAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# y; n* |$ d+ Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 E! [/ Q% a' a; s8 h  r; Pin case, this time, the screams from
7 q) g2 E( Y" x) H, E3 gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: u2 H7 {8 s( h& v( R7 ^6 J3 Zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# s4 I1 L$ ~0 h- n; eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* g* |/ Z+ \2 j) b- D4 j3 X+ kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ c' n; G" y+ U* Z8 N9 `2 ?  n8 ~0 eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ k5 I2 \5 o& FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; K3 r2 O/ t. j$ \2 R* phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: i3 v0 `( d3 n# M" G8 ithe quality of the end product.
' Y3 S; Q0 k- F- Y; L6 ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 r( [( r2 a/ X4 c) M! djanitorial work  throughout the facility.

* d1 ?. B5 [0 S6 hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! k+ m: S5 X" m5 w, PNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
# L0 F* r8 ]9 J+ T1 F  g: Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 Y% V8 i3 A. W( F3 PNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  @# O1 s" r% t: K9 @5 \" vGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( z" `: g! j* k2 J- D4 g+ c2 U3 p$ la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ j# ?8 s; F+ tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
: |* T1 W# q% D8 J! s/ {
- o! ]( x2 y, K& x) f$ \BENEFITS:
1 x* K! M4 X& B. `9 y% x- z3 BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 b" T# U) S1 M  xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, Y( `6 H; b" J& U$ A2 S( E4 @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

1 `1 @1 E+ c$ t6 l; X6 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
# P$ ?. H" [7 i$ [  K
for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
# f, @# ~  \3 H  Oor forward with love
) W" A) d* Y! c1 ], ?$ Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.