Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- R4 ]$ T, n7 ?8 l* L7 q& ~' \3 ^Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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& M% m6 {  q5 ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 n2 C! s! w# Q/ V5 E3 h8 [Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% v( ~/ Q8 X1 g6 V  R$ `( U# zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 w; D5 V( e4 }) Y/ F: {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
5 J& b7 m8 U" f. \: r( Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% g% |; `6 K, [$ pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& D: V* L) z7 T5 ]5 qExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
. s; h- T8 X. ?" Z& KThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: ]9 S1 ?" `4 Q' ?until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# I) g/ v9 P* ~  a! D; ?8 H, |8 pAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 X! s( J$ T" h2 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
2 A4 l" |' @; \6 K; q$ j5 p3 z$ pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 e% |4 v) p+ d" k/ ^6 Q: B- k  pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' r9 d2 Q$ ]8 ?5 ?such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ R; j! \3 h& L1 `# B( fand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" n/ |( ^/ J# t, Q& v& Q5 _) a4 zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! c8 k) G- W1 A  I+ L! o4 {, jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ s3 }) L* }6 I) X9 NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
  r- u' [6 u; z& tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- J9 D, ^8 U0 [) shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 j0 Z' ~2 d/ ^9 k2 aMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. d' P# y* E  |4 M8 s$ DMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
7 v& N7 x+ D' Q) v/ PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 s( f5 ]" T: q! G" F) fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

1 x& v/ v) x* \- h0 S3 OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
0 K! X9 [3 A/ Y$ |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& o  V! W/ F0 R6 z. P# ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ t# X* `5 l5 e# c3 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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# P* E, p% V( A7 `! b' l7 ?2 DPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 M4 N  c$ p3 |7 v  a2 p" W* dNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% h2 v1 e& M3 q  S3 U7 e4 q, Ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% k: y0 H$ p3 w2 E  ]2 q( pof the assumption that college will help them
4 _+ |3 Z# S$ @# x# Pbecome financially independent.
! J, }* K# x* r) Y3 q4 WWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ k2 d2 w0 J- S- U. z' h9 UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% e8 T/ ^. l" f( ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

* i7 X! V: K) U& I) G7 L9 f* @* tBENEFITS:
) i, K+ ^# ]' F4 ?0 S4 wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 V$ x0 `+ z6 Nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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; t8 R% F( _8 d5 r" g$ Munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 Y4 H2 r7 F  H2 qfor life if you play your cards right.

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! n/ L8 O# V" ]1 j7 J; H% |- q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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! Y* L5 t1 J. b$ g- g7 ^Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# n- D) `* E( Jletting them know they are appreciated
: ?& W% @) m6 i+ n8 ~( ]0 q$ D7 kfor the fabulous job they do...
: q$ a  N( t# F$ _0 R. B) o! A  jor forward with love
3 m. e6 t( `: R8 `' ]/ E& Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.