Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( J$ q8 X* z* u1 ]3 l) S  zDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

5 v) N1 R6 Y- e! O- z/ [
JOB DESCRIPTION:
' `7 J) I  D4 N3 jLong term, team players needed for challenging,
% n8 C9 }/ Z& p4 u* U
) x: c8 ~1 m; gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; F/ \8 @1 R0 S; Mand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- B* _1 M; |7 d- [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 \$ F! h( H* O9 lSome overnight travel required, including trips to
' D9 ?, l$ e; t5 pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( N8 d0 {/ h: gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' H- X$ Q" L& a( H/ C/ O1 ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
' Y, R5 h% }9 J9 Z# X. H7 B
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- s+ x. |, L2 O, u" q' {. |9 O& lThe rest of your life.
. I# H! A! V! g1 q0 rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. G; G+ J8 L% m( _& \$ g  U" uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ q% }  t& ~* d- R$ q' \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) M4 T( i8 h4 |3 @% |" DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) G* L# E/ g; x# G: XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! Q' @& B2 H" z7 Man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- f  ]/ r$ I6 N/ shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ L. u% m2 ]: @! e! sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: G+ _# w2 K3 B  o( Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
* t9 [/ R$ b" u9 K& f# xcan ultimately surpass you.

; m% m7 f8 Z; I
* N- @6 d* q) s, N% M: yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& G8 x% g$ f# A& ?9 ]5 d4 A2 Q4 MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
1 D9 \  T) N2 L* O: W
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 {2 c# [5 i/ y7 FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
. q' d: r# E: n9 b, W) Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 J! p, _) s8 ]0 d7 i0 UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 V0 q" u9 b: r7 a4 Z1 cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 ]6 H( ~; u; `" K; N" n6 _
. L* {5 u/ U! X5 yBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% i) Q/ l* z2 Q  Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 C0 h( d" y% T8 R  V4 A9 W, w& _" Dno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
& L8 |+ {( v. Y; i
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

" R& V2 b( ]' V0 ?for life if you play your cards right.
$ L: b: w( X$ w2 w; f
2 T- m: l. q4 E1 ~2 |2 `9 t
1 B# N3 g- b2 F2 b  L% i  Q+ A

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
+ s0 j5 O* p7 L2 ]7 h- T+ d. _


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
' o' S. n% U! @) @& l, L6 ]$ ?or forward with love
/ G4 E% L0 d& g3 G, ?to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

6 b: v5 t# D, k) _3 c! V

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.