 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma & c8 j! Z- g; Y! o
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa1 G9 y' ~% H9 Y- E* F# \2 @
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
" l( U2 I* T0 U8 U. LLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 7 f% g/ p* O: [* a
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 G/ E1 d3 \6 m! w) k3 _5 Qand organizational skills and be willing to work . e: n. _% n" W( ]6 @
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 7 e/ o6 O0 V9 ]+ s" ~2 v
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 i- a; k8 b8 C& O2 a6 bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* {3 [! e4 N7 d. q' w, i& C' } ^0 Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and : t# n0 x* J9 F2 x
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 X8 y5 p, {$ l' e7 F3 hTravel expenses not reimbursed. ) G; z- `+ X: J7 ~" f9 R# ~1 d6 [1 C
Extensive courier duties also required. ' D: y, Q4 @% l" m- _$ g6 c2 B
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RESPONSIBILITIES:8 x( N0 q c" |2 y+ h/ }: A5 \- ]2 Q
The rest of your life.
! q, f. M. C) |* Q5 G! `! x, |Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& f1 X3 q! D+ [" G7 Muntil someone needs $5.
1 i% c7 Z! j* Q3 C1 |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 7 q! i c9 Q0 A e0 ]" A
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 w9 p* T' {5 k5 a3 Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 3 W* H7 I# B: t; T+ B7 V4 {
in case, this time, the screams from % ^7 l% N) i; A. j, u1 F; G
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 1 {1 z+ y1 T# L } K" f
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, : \1 \7 w6 v6 A
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets - S8 ^$ d" W: A" f( R" M
and stuck zippers. 6 |$ j' Q! V* w! A
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 H) X' F" ?5 F- r" u% pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. ?1 Q6 i" u3 Q& V* S) lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ Z' D2 c- s- q$ q; e8 GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& E4 s, u5 v( Lan embarrassment the next.
; |' [& _) R) vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 _. u/ {, u6 K7 q! `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. & @7 ^4 Q( _2 N% V2 K9 i
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 [5 j& N3 ]5 D( `6 C) |Must assume final, complete accountability for 5 @& r& l$ A) H; h9 R
the quality of the end product.
4 W/ U8 |" j) `" m8 YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and A; t" T' C7 U' g) g" g- g
janitorial work throughout the facility. : ]2 y3 l) p. y1 A, v+ c6 }9 Q! H
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:+ f* b+ s% E" [3 {: s# y4 q
None. 7 T% a& e9 q# [
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, + C9 h: G7 X3 v) V9 j2 ? V
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. O- m8 z/ H" l) dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ' g- F6 b* l) ~2 G' e: t
can ultimately surpass you.
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( T l" @% X: b7 N& KPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: % v- Q6 x3 o% d8 j. J# _9 j
None required, unfortunately.
% E0 y3 ?! x7 \- COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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5 ~7 }4 M% e$ s- oWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" m, z4 I; r# FGet this! You pay them!
6 _$ }( | j8 I+ m' pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
' i, j+ S" p" Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- _9 a8 X% T9 q* l2 w; oof the assumption that college will help them
* V7 ?3 D) C+ {$ ubecome financially independent.
; ]" C# Y# d1 n" X0 g7 c0 LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
; t# M+ [3 S1 s, Y* \' n1 c: eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 8 \! |9 ~* T+ ?
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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! i! H0 z B0 jBENEFITS:
' f1 K; K1 a% f; X3 l5 [( d4 dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* C: a4 x8 f3 [2 c( e) rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 a( F$ y7 Z& W8 `! Qno stock options are offered,( \8 i" q! J4 b$ J) u6 m
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, , r X h8 I: y7 Z0 I, {8 {& a& ~
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses : G0 ~+ F- n1 j+ @* V
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for life if you play your cards right.# `' e6 E1 E0 A# _
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **. c2 X2 ~1 Q- R$ P& e) t
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 X7 E" l. l# q, I2 G: Y3 wletting them know they are appreciated
+ O0 E& {. @, u f+ w3 a! ?2 ~for the fabulous job they do...
+ g* ?2 n2 I( Cor forward with love 3 t5 u3 b3 u# H l7 V& U
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
