 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
$ @" h5 O/ P5 i" a; W% P! w( H3 d4 Z6 b* _* |
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
6 Q. D% O9 r" {! U. l1 r
, l8 e1 t- v, }9 g! m. ~6 g( sI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
* z! L# u) H+ K/ k( @" M3 Q, u( K1 T2 Y# ^5 q( J, K
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:( \ }7 ]9 x% J1 e1 L
2 u) K& |/ N! l9 W
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"# G2 L0 e: [; @/ h2 ]
o, P9 g/ O, ~1 Q; |I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' w Q! b/ C K7 ?
. t, M+ r' p0 Q% z6 ?And the second one was:& U3 J2 J* K2 P4 ~7 s \/ @
: _+ r% J; }# Z! J( y9 `0 B2 @. n. U3 F, i
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"9 Z# B% @9 W# U
% H! g$ V1 P& Y- ], u
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
1 f- u1 {% l8 f' |5 n& V% V
. H3 s; M! a4 r5 R! D, }"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
, [' _0 p1 ?0 t1 l. U& P4 h0 {9 r" x4 y1 Z7 v
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
+ S5 C' n2 n9 t; B! h& v/ O' \$ }! _2 E: a7 x
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!3 W Z, J# l) o- C; u
: Z- d" g. @3 T# {8 N2 G
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ |2 ?: N+ Y/ a$ c% e
) j2 D: ]$ u/ ]6 W7 i
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
$ b4 X: I9 l% S- l! i1 ~; ~0 V. t5 ?1 U1 Z( e
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' v4 m! b2 I0 j. ~( f6 X1 ~$ w* r
3 D1 `$ s" Q. q3 JThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# \ m. r' f, p$ V6 ?( C: ?
8 T1 L* b' C; w% E
Thank you very much!) P6 K- ^+ l7 y* n6 x) r2 v# n
1 R: @) S" `$ f5 g/ P7 a
==========================: N) `2 Z6 U2 n2 n5 a
( Y0 C% |+ p5 P* T, s0 v0 s3 ?Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
2 d( r3 u! k6 N" W y+ H. ?; u* d! u
, L* F6 @7 l7 {1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.( A3 Z1 S2 ^# n) c) c
7 \6 B& v. k/ [
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
, Z) p0 a! q3 C
& S- I8 B2 Y6 T! C7 V! ~6 l V3 r"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
7 `6 A! [8 Z+ U5 n9 t8 C) m- w$ K( M$ ^
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
8 n8 h K# Q- K' a! Q% N+ H
% E, ]5 [! |1 @& k+ YRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 ~! l, Q/ _% S4 v# i
N F9 ~7 {- f& M' u, IThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
