 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.- x& {4 L+ K0 B( {" m
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.$ e- h$ A: [& X5 n! Y
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:% s4 y: Q/ s, C4 o; B/ o- z0 Z
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"6 B1 J! n2 V0 G: C- ~" v/ X; t3 {
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; i* h1 G1 o8 }4 F
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 l6 u; v: u) n7 S, N
4 u5 ?! N3 M2 ~& v% z$ N"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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# M, ~/ ?+ N7 dI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) H: R5 d$ n+ a7 C
; Z) e) S2 f7 }8 cI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 V" g) a' _6 }: G4 A
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- l: h$ q2 y9 P3 P" [3 g! K9 M
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 H. a' ?" N6 T: `: A8 N( t
! Y- X. v; R+ S9 c! G; lNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 ^" v" {. N0 B g5 @! Z' \( t
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.. V7 a. o! r' Y$ d6 v1 {4 F9 Y$ U
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Thank you very much!
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1 V0 l; c( Q: Y* B9 u+ x" GImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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0 S' M5 A' |* ^, n0 A' v3 Y1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# |+ C" {5 ~3 N+ K6 J" H* A
0 r, ?& ~1 o2 h7 `: [9 D- d. @2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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4 v0 w* V: E* ~# E2 U2 f% \"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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7 f6 p0 U& U& g( A* \* fJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
