 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe./ @( r% N* ?5 _$ l
3 b2 I P4 |' {" F2 zI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* {% \% V z) }2 w$ S+ ^
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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1 A5 B$ b- k! h5 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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7 Y9 F9 H; H% _. [I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?6 c8 m' T: B. n: \ Y, t% K
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And the second one was:) R; {( A, j/ F4 J
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ h2 M* d0 l$ s; G
8 l0 L J/ k( V# h+ |' n% PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?1 k4 g+ E# T4 g6 c# z
' y# K/ ~$ n9 k' I3 w5 d, Z. Q9 H"What is Roe vs. Wade?", s9 n$ m0 U( [ _3 k' I' [/ M
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. W: ^7 P- Z& M2 W! E
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% r. k8 G: n7 d# s# v7 j2 \+ E
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."7 E1 X+ `4 x6 x+ }3 A( n+ m% y
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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1 U9 ^" \- }: I+ _# B' c2 pNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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$ k( K: {( V8 {% G `; ~Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 j# `, U, J) t/ F# g6 Z: x* H0 K
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 y7 U6 T' h( A2 o. T4 q5 G6 T' [
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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7 G8 j4 R9 W+ |1 i& PJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
