 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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T! g3 y G% U& z# T& N; VI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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5 I4 c7 z* I; V& [I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.- ?0 ~% r: B% l: i+ z% ]( V
$ i6 ` c7 A E( e- O$ Y1 mI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:) Q: ^ ]6 p6 D
, u4 V/ l# I, p2 l$ S5 _% ?5 }"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"9 L. E8 W" b7 Z: Y& ^
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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( P$ f: J! T$ ^/ SAnd the second one was:4 z3 u7 d( x* m$ K4 ~( O
% ~# N' e2 j9 U m0 o"What's the 2nd Amendment?"9 p& {1 J" j6 B" j" c; ]
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 L2 v" F s6 T% J3 V) U, s+ @) t. q
2 n) C: q) `' H' r"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?3 Q" B; B/ l/ ?% k# Y; g: d
: l+ ~: v' g8 qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen." X0 E3 U. U5 v) `2 r& {5 i; p+ a1 ]
" R+ ~( Z! L7 [( P5 Z& I. D$ W3 nSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.” H0 d3 {# H: `7 ~+ h
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.* J4 B2 n' w+ D
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Thank you very much!
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% ?: a% E# L9 ?$ `7 Z( }Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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/ }4 `& ^, Y8 |: s5 g- I9 t- s: q1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 [# ]) N& j2 G
, k$ a( A1 j2 z% _6 b) ]: x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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3 b, D* t! [& f, b) J"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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$ Y8 N; R, d- f" \9 s' p# x5 cJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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3 H$ p# I' T+ wRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.3 d" `4 t0 O/ J& o
! o4 X5 d$ z0 X. sThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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