 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
* i! m5 [0 s. d# A. I! n. D( k' h8 O0 l) P R ~! E
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
4 e/ P) ?) Q6 j- @- I! n$ D& W7 n# |* Z1 q, D6 [
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
& m) t. n% a. L6 f
0 ^, j: b& W7 P7 HI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:9 ]# @2 S, C! F+ I' M- H, O
$ x1 X' z/ w! z* @3 Y9 g/ Y9 |
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"% G$ b6 N4 k1 ]7 I
' N: e- ^/ H2 r% k
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
; e- C/ g2 m% f' K
3 P/ b5 U' r6 M6 _* pAnd the second one was:. M, ~' f9 |" I# [ R& G) I
/ A1 }. H: }& U3 r
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"6 h5 D: y9 `9 [1 x; k2 _! M+ G
3 V9 d5 {# ^) Q
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ K& O3 k% w) Z& E
% x3 G. I" m$ H2 B" C: T; N
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
( X& i5 H% A7 H+ b, R2 O3 u# j* q0 g# l( b* w
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
% s2 W4 Y" o; p% P
. X. ?# f6 a1 V' F/ P3 HI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 A i( C3 @1 {* U' s/ ^2 T
5 Q6 \9 Q) d; J3 a
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
( H( X5 B+ v. i, N; j$ M
/ k0 D, e9 z4 @2 p5 E$ }3 v/ ISo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
8 J( G% H- x" U( L6 ?
% s! a# c- N$ ` fNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
- M3 Q4 o4 ~! n- Y' |/ r, p! R- G4 w, }! M0 k7 F5 ~" ]! g
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
1 B- a5 X# [% H! y0 U) a# n( _; ?! L8 `2 n# \0 u! W5 E
Thank you very much!
# M1 Z+ G% P# j# f) E& Y( v8 ]/ ?
: y. O, U# u0 Z; _4 T* Z==========================
7 d! `" k& | X6 O; x" A
( B! K& m" c n; ?7 TImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
* Z5 D* E& W! O
: J% a3 `& X" q# _9 Y0 ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
% {: N0 b) ?* K( V# l! k$ Y: u* A. N6 n
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms./ X+ x3 ^! Y% i5 ~2 \
; f5 z _& f' X, ~
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
0 |- |- {6 U& |" o
9 W" a1 ~) ^' q: nJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
: f; w( {8 e8 a4 R
! M! J' S+ w. N* k" V4 u# L% |Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
4 E/ t# h3 }8 S9 j5 H6 h3 u& a% G% v4 f) Q3 Y" Y* F) M4 f
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
