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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.# f( ~* g4 K" L
* ^0 E, ]% d' S- NI love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
( n: b D6 X( X' zI want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
: k# V& X+ A. c' Q% O0 b5 TThey're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
. j+ [& I! T3 T* {! V" yWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.8 m- t7 o5 ?8 k+ Z; w
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for/ v9 @: m8 L* Q* V! n
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
/ @) s7 `1 K: _words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.7 m- C2 z/ @' t) T% B' F2 w
There are some people that are not into all the words.! ?; u9 q# u% B3 @6 h! ~% w
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
; K& O: l1 o% CThere are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
) k, [0 q1 U9 V: Z4 a/ S3 w6 z! E$ l! qof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
6 T; T% L! K5 d# X# L/ i4 r# K399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous4 f4 m6 O: S. C" ]8 s5 l
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,) N; L) s7 X: _2 A6 R. q
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
2 J, J( b5 r4 ~& y+ J"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,+ y' G% r' i8 f7 x6 f
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
( C/ ~( b/ [$ u& p9 j5 ^/ l3 \% [( K"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"* F# B5 Q$ d H
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,# Y. n& O+ {. p" @
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
* r, S: a& F) `8 T) r( { w"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"0 z& W: b: C1 p) J& R
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly( {* T& y0 |) F4 P [. H# Z# b7 @
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,) n6 m" R+ ^$ J& Y$ k% s
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
$ V" H2 m/ B7 l; p% |snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist! `; w" t- k9 G( a* ]
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
' N2 p- J/ v( x$ K3 Z5 h. ~Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just# A; }/ d; A8 I
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
, O% K. \' E- E7 m- V# q+ o( onot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
0 |% ^4 l! [8 x7 @9 Bbut you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
6 m9 z- F* ?3 b9 t. x8 o8 i9 Kcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
; x# q/ T; d/ p% hsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and4 [& \. T+ r& Z. _% g
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
# J# O# Y4 T3 Zthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
& |9 [/ Z' i( u/ J: D) sI mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend3 @8 d& g/ H: W
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at0 R0 j+ `( w6 m+ S K9 l
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."* [, T7 \1 k/ r/ \. P# D7 C! {
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
8 M9 u, O% u' Y3 M3 X2 Nother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
0 M7 z1 h8 C; R! |6 ?; r/ {# \together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
& Q* m& A2 {: X4 e8 v! z$ |1 xPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were5 E; E% J8 z% C1 l# [3 F# E- o3 V# T
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
) k9 H+ S7 T& E7 e/ e; S2 h+ Ddon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such v, |! G0 A N5 o. e
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
4 [0 y# p: y( U8 Z0 ?And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
! Z& z C! Z6 Uaccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
! {# m9 F4 m6 E1 @- B5 Zit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very2 ?9 ^$ ^& C# [9 C- Z: u+ ]
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
8 B9 q- P/ I' ?; J i! Ehurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,. y) k$ z- q3 f, S1 u4 u
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
5 y9 V1 _7 Q8 M# c+ ]- m" C: Uthan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is; ?5 I0 g4 j4 @9 \) \ v- Y
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
3 W9 x, |7 \+ r$ S4 Q& p! l2 A, EI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for' z+ a6 b; ?( t7 U5 [
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,4 O. @5 b) S% S6 r P
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
9 N' Y" i3 q* |$ FSo maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.) F% k8 {( l7 Z- q: X
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any2 j4 [( E; [( f: F/ D
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even: y! h' ~7 |+ L; z4 X) ^2 D, Q
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
+ j) Z: A3 V( ~6 ?and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
4 x: L4 m( \/ k0 yBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.8 a7 r7 C) B& P+ v( D: X
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock, V. y8 v7 z- V9 p3 k" M( W
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
0 h. ^2 H+ {8 g/ ^the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
a( J% {% T7 a1 ]7 `Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
! e+ d# \6 O9 B. t4 rsay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
" Z& E* \7 C( X! T% P& wthem. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
) V- u( \" D1 [7 b) d4 ]7 Qgoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You' s0 S d: ~0 D& K h# f" F
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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