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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.* v, e1 z( @5 T: _! Z
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.7 G5 R" _+ N" `5 @
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
g0 f4 r) p9 h9 V! ?- M7 S1 hThey're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
7 e. d( s/ Q* f2 R7 `Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
! f, ^% e3 v# X0 J2 hthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for2 V+ F8 V/ i7 o
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
, u3 N7 ~6 W6 h+ |* Bwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
% y7 \3 }% }5 O; nThere are some people that are not into all the words.
9 l- o+ K$ k' N6 O. d3 PThere are some that would have you not use certain words.6 z. |7 P! Y m& o2 ^4 H, }
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7( ^3 B O; ]6 W
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.0 V8 R/ d* k& L3 B! O8 S
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous6 p# o/ g- H% E7 p; G6 m
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,. D$ S* J! O$ g- A! m4 V
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?* M. t G, b. u% w2 w" k! |
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
0 l6 N/ V( e! ] yand words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
k# m# G/ Z4 f+ z' n"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"( D! P3 u" @ e7 a3 I3 y" S5 k; K
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
E( k5 x6 x& l5 c( h% `% f: ~curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war." I8 j* l) D% f+ H, R8 ?
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
1 Q9 ? L6 R2 wWow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
6 u1 Y% `) V# @ L* Rsounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,% L0 s3 E/ Q& Z" z o% @$ N# Z2 Z8 o. M
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
6 w4 Q+ Y4 d" _- k6 csnack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist! X1 @# h3 i- g- s& C7 S
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
* h- T3 F9 ~6 W+ l7 X8 ^. K( uPizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just- d: L# z" B7 f# v0 e: E2 u
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
" k ?7 m) \ R) } unot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
: c7 V9 x* F9 w1 Kbut you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not+ R$ m0 W8 C- I8 Q" B2 e' g8 S
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
2 X# ` B& C! N/ t0 {; hsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
! c% s* l0 m7 X( l/ b% J& DMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on( K& s7 Q3 f) }2 ?+ q
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
( W/ D) J' d3 q; X) T" ]+ CI mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend2 _( L0 w& B, a( ^
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at! ]' s# K3 Y% k7 t, N o- A o, a
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer.". f- O0 v" @- N' l
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
; e! W2 S V5 G9 q+ B" T4 v; d) gother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go0 Q) G. I+ ]7 X e6 x8 n
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
l G F1 U: x2 B: @- G/ h$ e* ?Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were3 E+ _5 [/ U) C. W A/ Q g* V
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I( K1 O) A3 X3 K0 k# p% \6 s
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such+ r" r" u& ^" X+ g, F( a
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now.", K! ^, g9 I/ s2 [ Z# O1 }
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
# w5 }* f8 ~$ n: p4 c, V& [accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think+ x# e5 R# F8 f3 t+ d( i
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
$ \ o/ l0 a+ m, B. c1 P3 Himprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to/ F2 Y& c) m; S9 p+ y! a7 Y& ^
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
' _) a$ V6 o, @5 v# b"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
4 `) a; ?* r/ g; l1 Othan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
' ]! R8 t3 `" f8 Da great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but8 ~4 \: j3 u: ~5 D0 i: J: }
I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
+ J) E# \3 n j4 W; K( uthe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
2 l4 W8 u5 d2 ^. R) b hSherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."; w" I( S4 E' r$ M7 P* }; [) z8 h
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.& x4 x1 u) Y) A
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
5 w& ~0 ~( v" ]) o( Ocircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even4 A7 ]7 h r4 O( d1 q/ Z$ Y
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
& p6 S; J+ r6 `$ l) ^& Tand Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.7 q- V8 k, a6 t! [ X5 c
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
# g7 |) @4 h0 @: a( G. NRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock4 \. t! r3 p7 |) E2 o; m
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
& Y. c7 M9 A9 @: U( j3 Z5 {4 Othe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
5 d. |% Y" D- T- w t& `Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
8 E0 O( \3 i# }* A3 o: g) jsay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding1 m+ F+ ~4 v) \) q& @3 b- ]# x
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that- a1 A+ n' y4 ^- h' S
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You" u3 [; n: J( n) y( O
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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