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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.% n8 T, k/ ?! j; W7 Y+ p9 ?
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
- `8 k6 W9 P5 |- AI want to tell you something about words that I think is important.3 {& m" a* p% O, ~
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.) ~& G* Z3 J$ C: Z& |
Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.9 c% {3 [: [4 w0 b
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for; ]& [# n" S, w3 k
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same+ K, c" a6 Z: N4 U0 a, C
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.0 V. X" P- A! r3 g2 p: T
There are some people that are not into all the words., m& a6 W! N- s9 g
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
$ Q1 @: W& T5 o+ H2 n1 AThere are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 75 U0 D/ K8 h6 P5 A) z* S' X, U
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. z6 g% O. C: F2 H
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous* _8 o$ L# {( L7 {, X7 i. I4 O
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,9 b/ m- i |! I
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?$ Q- s. j& J2 ~( i% W1 U4 F* J
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,) }4 \; x: q/ J$ |
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
9 h) w8 t- V2 X! K% A"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"' N3 t2 s& f+ N
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
5 _# z- Z, D+ ~2 T- q! q3 Zcurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war." A; J* a4 H0 p/ l+ G' ~' |7 y) y
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"- P) }# M4 z5 f; U9 m r) g
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
|1 R5 E( a" |( d6 Y5 psounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,7 i7 e/ J; W# @% h% Z* x. {
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
4 q9 ]) H% y4 S6 E# m9 e/ Nsnack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
4 |( X( {) A) N; }2 p! _9 R! Msnack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
7 r$ s0 I8 B ?, U( |6 y3 {Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just, J* {% X% f- E+ A0 k
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
, `0 F4 i- d% P5 ^' _( r, R4 knot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,5 {& ?) L% i0 C- i# f$ ~ X
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not5 h k+ Z; W7 Y0 A
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
& I+ n) m0 M) h7 Xsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and. N' F K4 {5 [3 M; j% }/ s7 b
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
4 Y4 f" I8 n; x( M6 c, gthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.8 P7 h" i0 X( l4 W% m
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
( i5 r% n" [# V- C4 D7 P% Iwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at) z5 L3 ?* l- k$ Y7 {. l
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."+ Z- M# \# T0 I9 M$ X
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
- A2 o1 o( z/ S }. oother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go5 `( a1 A5 m$ T; {
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
- B4 @9 m9 D3 t, O4 ^Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
" M1 Y! ~' z5 p& k; c' jcertain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
i, N7 V4 i+ Mdon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such! o1 S* h8 g) c
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
\* m6 l2 L* {, _( qAnd, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
) \ ?5 V: ]# J- g; {, gaccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
( x1 d" s9 w) Y# y) |: R7 uit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
* Y, n" E7 a, ^5 _imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to, R8 ?( U- x5 B: {
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
. R0 {' M6 A6 P+ v5 [8 `# L# s"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love' _" i7 C: d: b: O
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is: g$ ]8 X, a5 _3 t% V. B5 d
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
' G) _8 S! Y& {! T: a- Q3 ~- Y I4 ?I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for I9 l$ n: ?5 c: W
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,' m& u) g( {0 _3 ?
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
) m2 A' G- h. H- |& t+ F7 a; S5 ?+ KSo maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
, i% o' B' g; B/ RI hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any% i( {- m+ V0 d( i9 s
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even$ u( n( k1 J4 u* R% j. x+ q9 s
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,; e, d: ~9 Z- D; c
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
- }0 v2 r+ r/ P+ Y. D0 iBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
j) ^3 I4 A9 bRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
: u5 o3 L/ E6 n. n5 [, k! p& BCROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
6 g2 {5 z U. b2 Bthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for& d7 l; s5 [+ k* i! C8 Q: L1 ^; e
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't, ~1 {% W6 E K- r1 [1 P) \4 [0 C
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
6 A% m0 Y/ m8 K0 |+ `: H. uthem. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
( V; O [4 K$ ugoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
- X9 q3 h+ v# v6 k! Y( kcan prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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