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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 \' ?, b/ t. s$ J; Y' F
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ ~+ O U% H; X, ^. z" A( xthe other possibility.
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, x8 i4 B: i6 a9 B! d6 m0 [As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
r0 m- v V7 q8 tspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 K- B; F/ U$ {$ G i1 Q. D1 qplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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6 T" i. t/ g5 i: ?- d/ NIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# p6 P6 N o2 V; h5 W; W; b/ r3 k
the sivil servants jump with joy.7 ^0 a& L m5 y5 t4 L& A
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) T& ^" [0 e( I& s% Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. v* b$ R: @" h0 d5 U" K4 a9 _
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* k2 u* h* B8 k; T" ^- yThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! p" o1 y2 k" h+ Y% g: U% {! f
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 w/ }; ~" f }" |2 I; D$ d. r! _fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) L9 `6 u* @5 J. ?5 |+ B" K% X
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 F, ?* T. ^; Z' v0 [- A2 L9 P
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 D `) {7 O, x( u
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 r5 S8 k) ~; E. s: R' ]disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" @. O* v! d8 W. a"z" and "w" with "v"." P$ N6 L" t9 p' A e6 w' C9 _
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: L" u6 S4 ^( @* G7 D! z2 Y: X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! Q# p1 n3 r- Z5 V
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
' K/ A0 C3 F8 T! y/ g& l' Z' eunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
( r9 Z; g: i; |( a+ v5 M$ [; A% u" zUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 ~4 b9 i$ ~, j; s
forst plas.# V& ? o% S4 x9 h2 j0 `" ~9 m1 J3 X
8 o0 J" J4 Z' e1 e( k, i$ t3 yIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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