ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1 M; X1 {" u2 g# o% }; A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

9 |$ Q/ S; i8 ^4 a5 s, m" Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
2 _; X  |) \9 jhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
2 H- Z* c) L9 z, Wmorning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
9 Y5 @' g) O- `, B* }/ w
- Z. i! k" V& v, t+ F1 Z4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
3 |# Q7 h; a0 b- H2 ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
( P9 {6 W9 t6 K6 l
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& J; v! A- `' M  A% |cussed out, and possibly shot.

' I/ D, t/ e* Q" }" J) a6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
( G2 e: C; _5 F, h9 hget you shot.
4 Z; w9 k$ d  P0 J% f* ^% C
& P* y+ C2 q" a! \7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
1 F  f, S! [4 C4 uthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
/ H. h( j" m3 _! f* Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
* k2 j( T/ C+ V$ ~deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
4 ^! E$ v& E1 ?3 e) P" PRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
0 U' A0 X. n, q0 F9 Q66 Street are also the same road; got it?
+ S; h/ x4 ~6 @3 U7 D5 Y
11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'

2 g5 i+ s) O  d) [- j12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

" X5 }, f0 O; D( `2 R4 c13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( ~0 c; Z% F& h, |$ N1 j8 i9 _  L0 blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
4 C* N" M$ g0 f/ _0 R' I' T% j- t- Q& `blankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
% B9 m6 J& d1 O
后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
4 k' X! N9 ?) N+ {
it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。