ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1 s, d2 }+ X3 D5 b: V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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8 J& [5 R( A$ t+ W: t2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
* D' Q* h' O; y4 Q6 i3 ^hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
6 D) |8 |, ~% amorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; q7 e5 {8 ]/ [4 G6 U( a; bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) Q% n2 l3 L. f* c; Rgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
* o3 Q/ S- X1 ~0 nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ ]) r  l' [; Icussed out, and possibly shot.

" d8 p6 }8 ^' s# H: c3 z6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
0 C6 [1 T. u3 P' V; M2 Phas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 o1 z8 d8 A" e8 A' kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

5 F, O* J# i. c) S# y1 u& s/ x; Y  p9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
9 H$ r: h6 f7 W- p+ p) Fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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& h$ {# Q3 q+ S10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
) {; t/ R1 Q: V- T0 j: f8 uRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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  o; C  e9 h. j5 `11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 h6 F- R: k1 d& c0 [* p1 vshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
% l2 Q' G" O0 zActivated.'
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* s/ T6 E# _& v8 B12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
  L/ P2 w/ l$ V' Uyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
6 A) o# E) @( saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) H1 V/ g% [2 Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, D$ b) Y0 F9 X( ]* b. `- z- a, xblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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& W5 b* _4 l% u. t. ]* B) n" Y后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。