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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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! t" b7 h4 `& x3 N8 t1 [( q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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! S- a! a9 u) x U' A# X# X0 F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush+ Y# @+ _! g) P; \5 l
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday9 k7 }7 l* g' z) G& T
morning., b" Z+ U B- p0 H+ s! W' W
e9 t* v& J# B/ j, Z; L$ g3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2, @8 m) o. W9 X' j& j% i) X) T
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
# _5 N5 z. A* {landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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# K- a+ }8 {5 |$ m. m3 J1 V: o# ]4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 i% ]5 g* F3 ?9 Rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ F, s3 S% x1 l8 k/ a$ _ G- y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# {0 G A" N# T0 ~: c( W$ u
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
0 L3 ^2 Q3 G! j ?/ u6 uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
b/ U! [7 o7 Zcussed out, and possibly shot.7 F; W, d2 w I
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
* h5 t& u$ G. b; ]8 O9 q; Yget you shot.' B" E) h7 ~- x. w/ F
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that! S" ]$ h" N" N! s! h
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at1 \2 |. H3 z1 ]) a, p
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot8 R/ f" O7 p0 G8 ~6 [
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
1 I- p+ y e% ^. X# m" Zvehicle through the intersection.! N5 g+ x) A% V0 |
0 \7 c# z% y g, q7 u: h# P) p, K9 z# v8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour# X% v* w r8 G
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. ?* R9 J7 M$ Y) |( }' i _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, \! `5 @" ~- A+ P6 z3 J6 Ymore construction starts everyday.0 w6 \' D! k; Q1 Q7 J j
) P P, G, K/ \1 L' }$ _8 ~9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
; B) q* d$ Z6 x6 Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 j4 K( \* u5 asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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$ b; \& g! k; X# z! V4 y! Q10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
& `/ ]0 O; D( w( D* Rroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
4 q1 @. u- |! u- W% {Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
1 ?' z7 j* y4 s5 U! E) [66 Street are also the same road; got it?* Z( _! q% I. d, Y7 D! |4 d9 x
$ n7 f, ^8 @4 n- E11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 O% S* W: `; y3 a3 e6 r. Zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
% P4 }3 `( Q& B1 l0 KActivated.'
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' c4 d9 s) r8 ?12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
4 E) A: J7 k0 r: D- fyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
! k9 {' T' ^5 A! k+ _. E% }, {& M" ]accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 P r( q L: N# l4 T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ w7 a* l3 o2 Q# V0 Z, u
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
