WATCH OUT ON DAYHOME

simon2010 · 发表于 2010-5-26 10:49

SORRY, I COULDN'T WRITE CHINESE IN OFFICE.

I want to share my story about my little daughter in Dayhome at Edmonton trying to give some patents like us who have to send their kids in Dayhome or home care center some ideas. I also like hear some suggestion.

This March, after several months’ research, we decided put our little daughter in a Dayhome. There are several reasons why we chose this Dayhome:
1.One of our close friends sends their girl to this Dayhome. Obviously, they satisfied about this Dayhome. They have been there going to two years.
2.The Dayhome Owner is Chinese who speaks our language. We send our daughter so early, at least we can do is to keep our language.
3.It very closes to our house. Since there is a bus routine pass through our house and this Dayhome location and our daughter only 22 months old, so there won’t be a rush to push the little one getting up early and my dad can take her to this Dayhome by bus.
4.My wife, my parents and old daughter all went to have a look on this Dayhome. It is clean and very well organized.
We thought this is the perfect Dayhome for our daughter! However, we shouldn’t have been happy so early.

During April, the first week is a short week, my little girl looked happy, and then the following week she only had stayed at Dayhome for 4 days too (Friday stayed at home with grandparents since It was snowing). I remember just the week after this week, one day the owner called my wife because she said our daughter was cried all the time and not follow her instruction and she asked my wife to get our daughter, otherwise; all the other children will be affected by our daughter. So, my wife had to pick up our girl (she was not crying when my wife got there) and brought her back to our house to grandparents and went back to work. After that we just wish that the owner won’t do this oftenly. The next day when my wife picked up our daughter, the owner taught my wife a lesson how a child’s experience will affect her life in the future…Anyway, she just worried about our daughter. She also mentioned that we could drop off or choice another Dayhome or Daycare. We didn’t pay much attention on this one. We thought that our girl is too young; she needs time to fit in. Actually, she mentioned this point couple times already when we thought back.
Close to the end of April, there was couple kids got sick in this Dayhome. As a result, on May 3th (Monday) we found our daughter got running nose, so she stayed at home until May 10th. Running nose was the only symptom my daughter got, no fever, no cough. May 11th, 12th were ok, May 13th our nightmare was coming!

On that day, my dad dropped off our girl around 9:15, the owner called at 9:40! She told my wife that our daughter couldn’t stop crying and won’t to outside with other kids. She asked my wife coming and gets the kid. My wife said that she was just in the middle of something and she will ask my dad to get the kid. She said ok. Then my wife called home, however; my dad was not home yet. For the people who familiar ETS all know that you have to follow the schedule catch the buses. Before we send our daughter to Dayhome, I did some home work. I got the bus schedule and highlighted when my dad should wait for bus to Dayhome and when he can as soon as possible catch the bus going home by himself. Even we made best plan and the Dayhome is not far away. It still takes my dad one whole hour for the round trip. So, when my dad got home, it was 10:00 already. After he knew what was happening my dad took out the schedule, put on glasses and checked the next bus – 10:20! There still is a little time and my dad had some water and on his way (My dad is 73). He didn’t know that after 9:05 the schedule will change to 30 minutes between two buses. There is no bus at 10:20 instead of 10:35! He had waited 10 minutes and started worried that he must do some wrong. He went back home and check again, this time my dad figured out there is a note “after 9:00, and every 30 minutes until 1”! He missed the bus 10:35! What my dad suppose to do! He decided to catch 11:05. Just at that moment, the owner called in, my dad thought that must be something or someone about the kid, so he got the phone and the owner said: how come you are still at home! Why didn’t come pick up your sick kid. How come an old person cannot keep his word! My dad never heard a person said such things to him before! He had to defend for himself: “I am 73 years old senior. I just missed the bus.” The Dayhome owner said: Don’t come, I am going to call your daughter-in-law.
What she told my wife is my dad yelled to her! She also said that she is in business not kind of benefit center. I just wonder what kind business it is. She can do anything she wants and we paid to her and we even cannot make a mistake! The worst thing is she blamed us for we did not do we should do under that emergent condition. She call that is emergency!

My wife stopped what she was doing in no time, rushing out of office and driving the car directly to the Dayhome. My daughter was not crying! What did my wife can do? She just said sorry again and again. The owner still complained that before she called my father, she had seen several buses passed through and all the kids in the backyard and she told my daughter to go to backyard too, however; our daughter didn’t follow her guide. My daughter was 13 days to 23 month old!

When my wife got home, my mom told her that my father worried about what the owner could do and he caught on 11:05 bus already! My wife drove along the bus routine looking for my dad…

Just after my wife brought out the girl several minutes, my dad was in front of the owner’s house. She told my dad my wife got the kid already. My father tried to explain what happened and also tried again told her that our daughter wasn’t sick. She said: “did you mean I lied? Here is Dayhome, it is not a sick kids center!”  My father left her house and walk along the bus routine going home alone… My wife found my dad and took him back home.

At that night, I called the owner by myself. I told her that we watched out our daughter that she didn’t have any symptoms showing she was sick, could we send her to Dayhome next day? And meantime I tried again to explain what happened and promised it won’t happen again. She answered “you can if you want.”  “That’s your family’s business not my” I tried to communicate with her.

What she told me in detail can be summarized as follow:
1.My daughter is not ready. She only takes those kids who are ready, otherwise; she will get into trouble when Dayhome center send a person coming and checking randomly. Because the no-ready-kid will drive the Dayhome to a mess.
2.What happened in that day is an emergency. Our reaction is too slow and we tried to avoid the responsibility putting her into a dilemma. She cannot let that kind of things happen. She doesn’t want to hear my explanation because that is problem among my family not her.
3.She wants best to my daughter. She doesn’t want my daughter is not happy, doesn’t want my daughter crying and that might affect her personality. Also doesn’t want my daughter affect other kids. Because of my daughter, other kids had shown depression already!

I have to say I was very angry at that time, but for my daughter’s sake, I didn’t argue with her. I just said how about we both don’t mention anything about before. Please accept my apology and we try our best together and make it works. I hung of the phone…

That was a long day for my family!

If you think that is the end of the story, I have to say sorry.

Thursday is so-so. We got lots negative comments in the children’s development note book. When my wife was picking up our girl asking her how she was doing, she said nothing changed!

Friday, my dad tried to comfort our daughter on the bus and told her that is fun playing with “little friends”. “Say hello to A-YI”… … She cried just when she was getting the front door. My dad hold up her and rang the bell. The owner opened the door and told my father” After you stop her crying, then I’ll get her” Since my dad had to take of my daughter’s jacket and trying to make our daughter to calm down, he stepped out the mat inside the door. The owner said immediately: “Please back on the mat, you just came in from outside, your shoes are very dirty!” My father said nothing. After a while, our daughter stopped crying. When the owner showed up, she started again! My father told the owner “Could you take her and say some nice thing? I think that should work” The owner said to my dad: “No! I cannot. She scratched me yesterday when I try to take her”.............

I got this information when I called my dad in office at 10:30. Then I called my wife. After few minutes talking, we decided to quit from this Dayhome right way. My wife only works half day on Friday, so she went early and gave the owner a notice which is a quit notice. Before my wife went to there, she called first, the owner had no hesitation at all said O.K. My wife almost said nothing before left; the owner said that “We don’t have YUANFEN!”  “Please sign this form! I wrote down the kid is not ready, in this way you can get your left money back.

That’s it!

From this, I just wonder, is it normal for a Dayhome owner behaves like this? Even the kid is a “trouble kid”!

Right, let’s talk about our daughter a little bit. She does can say some Chinese words and understand what adults’ sample guide. From a baby until couple month ago, she never was a cry-girl. She smiles all the time. Before one year old, she loves everyone to hold her. After one she became a little bit shy, however; she does have negative side we can see. When she cannot do something smoothly like taking off shoes, she got a temper. But we think it is in normal level because she never scratched someone before. And I still cannot believe she scratched the Dayhome owner.  All of our friends said she is so sweet and definitely an easy-take-care girl! However, when I used this as an example tried to convince the owner at the night I called her, she said whether a kid easy to take care or not is not depend on what other people say. O.K.! I cannot blame the Dayhome. What I can see is our daughter cried more and more in last couple month. Even my old daughter noticed that. I am not saying this is all the Dayhome’s fault because lots kids will change in a different level after they are sent to Dayhome or Day Care. What I am thinking is:

1.What is ready? For people who have kids, all know this is a non-measurable question. I consulted lots people on this, we all agree that kids never be ready for a place even has a single rule outside their home! In most case, the instructor is a key role on this game. Only probably one of thousand or less kids is the trouble-maker. I pretty sure I am not that lucky which my daughter is not the one.
2.What is an emergency? In Canada, I know you will be called to pick up your kids if they do sick or give others a big trouble. I totally understand this.  I still remember lots things when our older daughter was in daycare in Toronto. It’s pain in the butt! Her disappointed eyes when I dropped her off at day care are still in the bottom of my heart! There was a boy in my older daughter’s room. He cried all the time and often fighting with others. Couple times he was in the time-out corner when I was there. His father did get calls as I know. However, the teachers tried keeping a big heart on him, they told me his single father working so hard to make their live works and they don’t want the father lost his job for this again(It happened several times already). So, my point is if a Dayhome could try best to help us can focus on our job. Doesn’t matter where we are, the employee always asking for leave because the “emergency” of their kids is not a good thing. Especially, we are immigrations we got more pressure already. At first place, I thought the owner could know this indeed since we are in same boat. Now I think I am wrong.

All the sudden, my wife and I got what happened in the past one and half month. The owner doesn’t want little children at all! However, she cannot speak it out, so she did in this way let ask quit.

I wonder why she couldn’t tell us directly, we all Chinese and I told her when I called her that we don’t have any problem on communication. But, at final I still got it wrong! My mother language which I thought is an advantage now is the biggest disadvantage!

雪上枫吹 · 发表于 2010-5-26 11:16

同情LZ！刚一有苗头你就应该撤。。。
你的小孩儿一定非常不开心在那儿～小孩没有问题，多数小孩儿都哭在开始。

我不喜欢DAYHOME。我认为它不可靠，不专业。

Apache · 发表于 2010-5-26 12:14

what name is this day home?

猴子 · 发表于 2010-5-26 12:20

是哪家啊？

passbyer10 · 发表于 2010-5-26 13:27

安慰下楼主一家，虽然所有的细节只是你们这边的一面之词，但是也能看出，孩子在这家是没有受到关爱的，就这一条就够让人生气的。

Solina · 发表于 2010-5-26 14:21

我家小孩１４个月就送一家DAYHOME，开始也是每天都哭，但我们那个阿姨想尽各种办法来哄孩子，我们刚到门口，阿姨就开心的过来把孩子抱过去换衣服，给孩子喜欢的玩具等。一个月之后，去接孩子，孩子都不愿意回家了。后来阿姨搬家了，还送给我们好多衣服，玩具等。
孩子从家到DAYHOME 或DAYCARE 都有一个过渡的过程。你家老人和孩子都是无辜的，但愿他们没有受到心灵上的伤害。我只能感叹人和人之间的差距有如此之大！

qbxl400 · 发表于 2010-5-26 14:33

Please publish the name of the day home. So other parents could watch out for this one. Maybe the owner would come out for her defense.

Based on what you told us, her behavior and the way treating the senior are disgusting. She should be accountable for what she has said and what she has done.

我的宝贝 · 发表于 2010-5-26 19:14

很长很详细，虽然是英文，我也坚持看完了。。。。。总的感觉：
1，如果这个阿姨有什么不道之处，首先不过是哄不明白你女儿，不是每个阿姨都有办法哄每个孩子的，因为每个孩子都是不一样的，其次就是埋怨你们接到电话后行动太慢。。。。。
2，关于你女儿，22个月的确是很难适应DAYCARE/DAYHOME的年龄。我儿子2岁半开始上幼儿园，每天早晨都要嚎哭1个小时以上，当时是我们公寓的每日一景，感谢爸爸和爷爷奶奶的坚持，我上班早，听不到，否则早崩溃了。。。。不管她在DAYHOME哭不哭，阿姨让出去玩，她能坚持不去，也是一倔主儿吧？。。。。
3，DAYHOME应该也是有制度的，如果真的来人检查看到其他小朋友在后院玩儿，而你女儿一个人在屋里，这个阿姨应该会有很大麻烦的，严重的可能会被取消执照的。。。。她可能因此而着急吧。。。。
4，你女儿退出这家是正确选择，不过接下来不管换那家都很有挑战，希望楼主能够坚持，孩子只要不发烧不呕吐就要坚持送，刚开始送时最忌的就是三天打鱼两天晒网了。。。。。
最后，也是感觉你们和这家阿姨没有缘分，其他的双方都没什么大纠纷，还是不要公布人家的信息，不好。。。。

simon2010 · 发表于 2010-5-26 21:58

谢谢大家。真羡慕你们能碰到那么好的阿姨！可以给我们介绍一下么？说实话看见我们小女儿可爱的样子，我连不上班了就在家看孩子的心都有。
写这篇文字我的本意并不是要怎么样。错误对错误只能更糟。当然我和代理谈了所发生的一切，并告诉了她，如果 DAYHOME OWNER认为我胡说了，我们可以坐在一起谈一谈，包括我父亲。我这么做也是想帮助DAYHOME OWNER 能改进自我。
在此我想的是：
1．大家选择托儿中心不能光看你所想的条件，就像我们一样一开始认为就它了！而是一定要看合不合
适你的孩子。
2．DAYHOME 可能很好，可是缺乏监督。如果你的孩子和阿姨不对脾气就无法保证孩子不受影响。
3．有时咱们老想着自己人好说话，正相反，一遇到关键时刻更难说。

再次谢谢大家和EDMONTONCHINA,让我能在此一吐为快！

浮萍人生 · 发表于 2010-5-27 00:44

我感觉楼住应该公布这家day home的具体信息。既然day home缺乏监管，更应该公布信息，也支持day home的主人出来解释，或者有孩子在那家的家长出来说说，有助于互相理解并且提高业务水平。
前两天一个华人女孩子在美国街头被强奸杀害，旁边看到的中国人没有一个出来制止的。很让人心痛。
中国总是讲究息事宁人，中庸，做的好的也不多赞扬，做的不好忍气吞声，这样对双方都没有好处。
另外孩子的问题，虽然看起来不是大问题，但是小时候的某些经历会影响一生，期望楼主公布这家DAY HOME的具体信息！！

grace1123 · 发表于 2010-5-27 08:17

I don't like dayhomes since there are nobody watching them all day long, so you don't know what happened during the day. In daycares, there are at least colleagues and managers, so teachers won't do too much to cross the line.

In your case, I don't think post the owners information here is a good idea, instead you need to talk to the dayhome agent, so the owner can get sort of warning or more frequent visit. That will benefit other kids.

I totally support your family. I know kids will cry when they are in a totally strange environment, but if the owner gave her good impression and love, I believe your daughter wouldn't have cried that much. Kids know who is good and who is not. My daughter loves one of her teacher in the class, but I don't see any difference between all three of them. I guess the owner must have been on stress when taking care of several kids and your daughter just kept crying, which makes her even stressed, so she might have ignored your daughter's need or have not tried hard to comfort her.

雪上枫吹 · 发表于 2010-5-27 08:35

11# grace1123

DAYHOME还有一个问题：OWNER若生病，你就不能送小孩儿了；DAYCARE就不会有这个问题～～

passbyer10 · 发表于 2010-5-27 09:39

顶 Grace ，和我想的一样！

I don't like dayhomes since there are nobody watching them all day long, so you don't know what happened during the day. In daycares, there are at least colleagues and managers, so teachers won't do t ...3 ]! I5 {& e# ]3 F! B& L% h
grace1123 发表于 2010-5-27 09:17

passbyer10 · 发表于 2010-5-27 09:52

你们孩子快 2 岁，很多话都听得懂了，如果还是愿意把孩子送出去，那就多花些功夫，找家 daycare 吧。

谢谢大家。真羡慕你们能碰到那么好的阿姨！可以给我们介绍一下么？说实话看见我们小女儿可爱的样子，我连不上班了就在家看孩子的心都有。2 \6 \, \7 e. T+ u, l8 R
写这篇文字我的本意并不是要怎么样。错误对错误只能更糟。当然我和代理谈了 ...$ [9 B- w h8 [# R
simon2010 发表于 2010-5-26 22:58

老王婆 · 发表于 2010-5-27 10:04

唉！看得出楼主很难过，我也非常理解你此刻的心情......上有老，下有小，目前真的是非常难熬的阶段呀！
我们家老大以前也上DAYCARE，我也是觉得DAYHOME只有一个大人，没有帮手，没有监督，对孩子不太好。不过，我还想补充一条，去DAYCARE的话要注意看OWNER是不是经常在那里“出没”。我们家儿子去过一家没见过OWNER的DAYCARE，在那里受的罪想起来都心疼。
当然，我也理解DAYHOME的OWNER，一天要对着6个孩子，没有任何人帮忙，要是有一个两个不够听话，那也真的是很难做......我想开DAYHOME很久了，一直没敢下手就是这个原因。不过，既然你已经开始了，忍受吧。如果你确实带不了那个孩子，你也应该正式地给家长一个通知，让他们有足够的时间去找到另外一家，然后大家和和气气地“分手”。没有必要拖到最后变成那样。

三思 · 发表于 2010-5-27 10:49

我觉得幼儿园老师没有什么特别过分的地方，她很早就跟你沟通过，你的孩子没有ready,起码是在她的环境中不适应，但是你们一直忽略她的意见。你父亲这件事，阿姨的确粗鲁，但是我猜想也是反复和你们交流不成，而造成的积怨过深。

再说点不中听的，我要是把孩子送到dayhome, 即便看见孩子在阿姨家高兴，还会心里琢磨，背着家长，孩子会不会受委屈。您到是相反，阿姨说孩子哭闹，你们还不肯相信？！退一万步说，如果阿姨表示不原意继续带孩子，那我肯定尽快把孩子退出去，给孩子找一个不情愿的看护人，那收委屈的肯定是自己孩子。

qianny · 发表于 2010-5-27 20:34

DAYHOME也是受监督的。我的孩子曾去过两家DAYCARE, 其中一家还是YMCA的，感觉并不满意，于是最后换一家DAYHOME, ONWER 是位极有爱心且专业的女士，结果孩子在她那里学到了很好的MANNER, (之前在DAYCARE曾受到别的孩子咬，打，深深的伤痕现在还在，也学会了打人），老师完全是用CHILD CENTERED 的方式引导教育孩子，孩子变得很自信而且有爱心。

浮萍人生 · 发表于 2010-5-28 14:30

本帖最后由浮萍人生于 2010-5-28 15:31 编辑

看了上面的回复，觉得每个人说的都有道理，并且不管dayhome 还是daycare，重要的是管孩子的人怎么样，或者说管孩子的阿姨和自己的孩子是否能相处愉快。总之，自己带还是请别人带都不容易。

沉默是金 · 发表于 2010-5-30 19:49

17# qianny

请问您说的是哪家Dayhome，可以分享一下您的信息吗？

lavyed2008 · 发表于 2010-5-30 23:26

坚决要求搂主发表这家DAYHOME的信息，好让其他的父母知道，爱城华人不多，更应该联合起来抗敌。另外，您可以投诉，电话您可以在申请SUBSIDY的申请表上找到，工作人员会帮你把情况记录并且对该所DAYHOME进行检查。我也有同样的遭遇，不过那家DAYCARE，没有如此大胆，只是小孩也并不愿意去。后来，换了DAYCARE的管理人，更差，小孩发生的INCIDENT，要我签名，我只要求拿一分COPY，竟然托辞说她太忙，我投所了她，只是我小孩当时还在那DAYCARE，没有深究，但我至少备案了。

竹帘儿 · 发表于 2010-5-31 13:32

本帖最后由竹帘儿于 2010-5-31 19:39 编辑

我觉得楼主这个案子简单的说就是阿姨认为孩子不好带拒收。

这个情况要一分为二的看。首先这个阿姨肯定算不上一个优秀的阿姨。仅从你说的觉得她没有打算付出额外的努力和爱心来帮助你的孩子平缓过渡适应期，否则就算最终还是不行，但是阿姨的努力如果被你们感知到了，也不会有这么的愤慨。但是呢，这个阿姨得到过你朋友的推荐，而且人家在那儿待过两年，说明她虽然算不上优秀，但可能也不算坏的阿姨。在孩子都正常的情况下她能合格完成看护，但是并不愿付出特别的爱心去处理稍微麻烦一点的小孩。这样的阿姨无论是dayhome或daycare可能都是大多数。在dayhome里这样的阿姨有不接收的自主权，我觉得对于家长来说是好事，尤其她很早就跟你们沟通了，这个credit要给她，这样起码接受了的孩子应该都能得到她真心的爱护，不接受的孩子能马上终止在一个不友好的环境里生活。而幼儿园里因为体制约束，阿姨什么孩子都要收，收是收了，可是回头她心里不待见你，受苦的是孩子。孩子受苦不一定是阿姨打骂，阿姨对你精神上的冷漠啊，对你的要求的忽视啊等等，孩子是说不出来的，幼儿园的公共监督环境是无法触及这样的行为的。我小时候就是个爱哭的孩子，阿姨可烦我呢，我每天是去幼儿园了，可是我一哭，阿姨就组织全体小朋友羞辱我，我现在还记得呢！

我找dayhome时也被一个阿姨拒绝过。这个阿姨要说真是金牌阿姨，将近20年的看护史，agency里一桩投诉也没有，我问的reference都是夸她好，她不收我的孩子，现在想想应该感激她的坦白，让我的孩子避免在一个对她没爱意的人底下看护。后来找到的两个阿姨都是极其有爱心和水平的。所以仅从楼主你这个事件并不能说明dayhome怎么不好了。不管dayhome还是daycare，都需要找到比较好的阿姨。

围裙妈妈 · 发表于 2010-5-31 17:36

21# 竹帘儿

非常同意竹帘儿。
而且楼主这样在网上“一吐为快”要WHATCH OUT DAYHOME.要知道爱城才多大的地儿，中国人开的dayhome一共也没有几家，数也数得过来，我看大家现在最想知道的就是是哪家dayhome，楼主是打死我也不说，让大伙儿去猜吧。大家见了所有中国人开的dayhome都在犯嘀咕，都有嫌疑。不过现在是楼主身边的朋友都知道是哪家，一传十，据我所知，知道的人也不少了。这么说吧，算楼主运气不好碰到了不耐心的阿姨，也算那个阿姨运气不好碰到了难带的孩子，和难搞的家长，几乎在中国人的圈子里失去了信誉，影响今后的生意。

smilecccc · 发表于 2010-6-1 09:58

I don't like dayhomes since there are nobody watching them all day long, so you don't know what happened during the day. In daycares, there are at least colleagues and managers, so teachers won't do t ...) ^: u5 Z+ |7 O2 o3 O9 a
grace1123 发表于 2010-5-27 09:17

I am totally agree with grace1123 on this matter.

By the way, I bought a 711 sim card for my mom when she stayed here just in case something happens when she went out for walk. I really feel bad for your dad and your daughter. My son went to daycare at 19 month old, we never speak English to him before, but the teachers are so nice and it worked out really good.

Hope you can find a good caregiver for your daughter soon.

sunlight2010 · 发表于 2010-6-1 10:47

同意竹帘儿。
不论daycare 还是homecare，给小娃儿找到个有爱心的阿姨才是重点。

greenbee · 发表于 2010-6-23 22:20

2# 雪上枫吹

正式Dayhome 是有监督的。dayhome如果有agency的话是收agency监督。如果没有agency的话是收政府监督。

greenbee · 发表于 2010-6-23 22:20

同情LZ！刚一有苗头你就应该撤。。。
3 ~2 T2 ` N+ X1 N+ T你的小孩儿一定非常不开心在那儿～小孩没有问题，多数小孩儿都哭在开始。
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我不喜欢DAYHOME。我认为它不可靠，不专业。
1 M' k; ]! F. C6 l! N3 o- X雪上枫吹发表于 2010-5-26 12:16

正式Dayhome 是有监督的。dayhome如果有agency的话是收agency监督。如果没有agency的话是收政府监督

greenbee · 发表于 2010-6-23 22:25

顶 Grace ，和我想的一样！6 p: V' Y* U7 V( L
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passbyer10 发表于 2010-5-27 10:39

我有朋友在daycare上班，也看过daycare阿姨打孩子。我看关键是找个有爱心的阿姨最重要。dayhome或daycare 不是最主要的问题。

天际飞虹 · 发表于 2010-6-24 16:35

我是不大信得过dayhome，我女儿一直都是上daycare。虽然两方都有监管，但是其中最大的差别是：dayhome经常是某个妈妈自己在家带孩子，再顺便帮别人也带；day care里所有的孩子的妈妈都不在同一个daycare工作（个别例外）。这中间就存在一个信任问题。day home的阿姨就像是你自己的邻居的水平，没有过多少专业训练，有没有家教也很难说，而且很容易出现对待孩子不公平的问题。day care的老师相对来说所收的专业训练多些，经验也多些，对孩子们都比较公平。当然这只是泛泛而言。
像上面提到的问题，我认为day home的责任居多。即便是说需要沟通，做人的基本原则也还是要坚持。尊老爱幼是美德，也是给孩子的榜样。对于因为这样的纠纷就要对客户和老人粗鲁对待，也就是中国人中的比例比较大。沟通是需要耐心和方法的，如果大人之间都沟通不了，这样的阿姨怎么和孩子交流？又怎么给孩子做个尊老爱幼的好榜样？孩子在她那里能学到什么？
我们大人之间比较好说，但是孩子的心灵单纯幼稚，非常容易受伤害，而且一旦受到伤害，有时候后果会持续相当长的时间，对孩子的心智发育都有很大影响。所以一旦发现孩子和阿姨合不来，千万不要将就，有了问题一定要及时处理。

蘑菇 · 发表于 2011-2-15 14:26

我女儿19个月就去了day home, 一共去了2家。第一家，3天后，女儿被拒收，因为哭的太厉害，老师没办法处理。第二家，哭了1个星期不哭了，但是我女儿也只呆了4个月，因为红屁股实在太严重，而老师给我的理由让我无法理解，最后因为工作的原因还是让我妈妈来帮忙带了半年。我本人曾经是day care的老师，工作了2年，因为老公工作关系现在搬来edmonton。因为接触了这方面多了，所以还是觉得无论day care还是day home，还是要看老师，好的老师是用心来工作的！

totopy_long · 发表于 2011-2-15 22:01

我曾经是幼儿园的老师。小孩一开始离开家去一个陌生的环境不适应用哭来表达是可以理解的。而且每个小孩适应能力都不一样。我儿子都用了整整一年才适应过来。而且每个dayhome或daycare都应该有他自己的规则，而这些规则应该清楚列明在他的registration package。所以在你把小孩送进dayhome或daycare前就可以了解到。如果这个dayhome的主办人没有在小孩入学前给你交代清楚，我觉得你绝对有权利去投诉这家dayhome。不止是她如何对待小孩，而且她对家长的态度都会受到评估的。daycare的老师是每年都有evaluation 。dayhome就不知道evaluation是怎么做了。个人认为还是找一个好的daycare比较好，因为一个老师不好，还会有其他老师和director在监管着。

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